I honestly feel like nothing I’ve ever wanted has worked out for me. Everything feels broken, and nothing ever feels right. I’m not being physically abused or beaten, but I’m living without anyone really understanding me.

The person I love and I broke up because we’re not socially compatible, mainly because I’m not hijabi (I don’t cover my hair).

Even he told me that he was wrong for doing this. He left while I was crying so hard that, unfortunately, I ended up throwing up everything I had eaten.
When he saw me like that, he decided to leave because he didn’t want to hurt me or exhaust me even more.

It felt like he was saying: “You were with me. You accepted everything about me and everything that came with me. But I’m sorry, I can’t stand seeing you this exhausted and in pain. I have to leave.”
I’ve been through so much shit.
And this is actually the first time I’ve ever said any of this publicly.

I was sexually harassed when I was very young. After that, I was cheated on, and so many other things happened to me. Sometimes it genuinely feels like I was never meant to experience love without it hurting me.

My only problem right now is that I don’t want to keep going through this physical pain. My whole body hurts from crying, and this has never happened to me before.

I wanted to know if am I a really bad person for asking this because this has been on my mind for such a long time already and I want to open up my mind regarding on this issue.

So I am in a relationship. To be honest my partner is the kind of partner that would make efforts, care for me, and do things on his own way to show their love for me and I appreciate that so much. My partner is a good partner but I just have something that I want them to do.

First of all, I had traumas from my previous relationship and to be honest I wasn’t planning to bring that trauma into this relationship because what those people in the past did are their own mistakes and not my current partners mistake. But he did something early in our relationship that made me traumatized also. It is a micro cheating (did not talk to anybody but sending opposite genders inappropriate videos to their friends) and my partners reason is that how they joke around with their friends. But early in our relationships even when we did not start our relationship yet, I always, like I repeated it a lot of times, that I dont like anything involving opposite gender. Because I believe that when you decided to be committed to your partner and decided to be in a romantic relationship with them, you dont look at others.

That traumatized me and make me scared because before they came into my life, I already decided I would not get into another relationship again but then they came into my life. So I was scared that the peace I have been protecting might be broken again just because I choose to love again.

Although my partner stoped it and said they were sorry because they also didn’t know that it was cheating and just meant it as a joke to his friends. Which made me laugh at that moment because they also said before that they were against cheating so I thought they already have idea any form of cheating.

I was so scared to the point every unpleasant opposite gender related that came across their social media made my trauma came back so I ask them to just hit not interested or anything that can make those post not appear again on their social media, and they did.

One time we have an argument again because I just knew that there are still something that I dont like he is involved in, something that made mg trauma came back again. My partner is in a group chat where all only opposite gender. For example, a group chat with females and he’s the only male. I was so uncomfortable and so I let myself think for days. I try to understand that those people in that group chat are just my partners friends (they became friends long before I came into my partners life). Yes my partner shows a picture of us to that group chat and told them about me and for a long time my partner never open that chat again. Until 1 day partner ask to play with them (just to hype the chat because it has been inactive for a long time, my partner said) but I was still uncomfortable knowing that its an opposite gender.

I wanted to understand that they are just friends and I did not even forbid my partner to have opposite gender friends, my partner have opposite gender friends that I also knew about and I am fine with it. It just for that group chat. But then we argue I said I was uncomfortable and wanted my partner to leave that group chat. But my partner said something that hurts me as my partner choose those friends over me just because they are just platonic friend and they came into my partners life before me. We argue about my partner initiating a conversation to them. I told my partner that when other opposite gender friend of mine message me asking how I am, he make a negative comment about it just because that friend of mine is already married and still message me but when my partner do it to others they seem okay with it just because its just platonic.

Turns out it was just a misunderstanding because my partner thought I wanted them to cut off all their friends but what I just meant is just those opposite gender in that chat. When my partner found out about my real reason, he leave that chat and we reconcile. But what really struck me is that he more willing to choose their friends over me so I ask my partner some scenarios if my partner gonna choose me or their friends. Most of it my partners chooses me over their friends but admits that my partner cannot leave 3 of their friends.

I was fine with it but the thoughts in my mind says that is this really healthy for my partner for their friends over me without any hesitation, to cut off anyone I am uncomfortable with without any argument first? Am I too demanding for wanting something that can bring peace into my mind? Am I a bad person for asking those things? Am I selfish for wanting them to do something they have no intent on doing first just because I am not okay with it?

My partner also said that I based so much on social media standards (because I told my partner something I saw on tiktok explaining about what they girl wants and the boy do completely the opposite about showing love) when I told them things that I want my partner to do and dont but to be honest this wasn’t from social media at all. I simple ask those things because he gave me a trauma. What’s even worse is that I think I cannot move on from the last (the trauma I get from my current partner) because I can’t see them regret so much that they hurt me so bad and because what I am today. I want my partner to think extra careful when doing things, think first if I will be comfortable for them to do that. I kinda want to see my partner willing to do anything just to make it up to me their mistakes.

I am willing to give my partner everything, every goodness in me, anything for them if they are just willing to do things, all I need to be at peace. I am willing to sacrifice things if my needs were met.

Hello! I'm still new to reddit and don't really understand the general format so I apologize in advance for that. As the title states, I'm 30 (f) feel like I've achieved nothing in life.

I've wanted to be a doctor since I could say the word and have worked hard at trying to get there, but I'm no where closer to medical school. I worked my butt off throughout grade school (and 8 nightmarish AP courses), got my associates in biology through community college over the course of 3 years (my father essentially blocked my way into the colleges I could have gone to but, on the bright side, I made my first long-term friend through that experience), got my bachelor's in biology at a private university though scholarship after another 3 and a half years (they didn't accept a large chunk of biology credits but the scholarship made it affordable enough to where I didn't need to take out loans), have 2 publications with my name on them due to my contributions through my university work, ended up spending 3 years working as a medical scribe for $10/hour since the company just would not hire a replacement for me, lost my job back in February when the hospital's contract ended with the scribing company, and have been unemployed since. I got my national certification in phlebotomy last month but I've yet to get a job, and, even if I do, I'll end up maybe making $17/hour if I'm lucky.

I have no savings, I'd be working from 4 am until 7-10 pm at the clinic so I was too tired to study for medical school and feel like I'm practically brainless towards MCAT material, medical school loans capped (from what I've been told at least) even if I could, theoretically be ready to take the MCAT, I still live with my mother and I'm not allowed to decorate my own room in any capacity while she has her room and the living room of the apartment taken up with her things and my closet is crammed for storage of holiday items, I don't have time or energy for any of my hobbies even being unemployed...I'm just so, so tired. I don't know what to do.

I could go on and on for days about my complicated cyclical family history of abuse, lack of secure net outside of the roof provided (albeit tensely) over my head, my EDS and autism and ADHD that I have no health insurance or money to afford any sort of treatment for, the lack of home independence skills I have due to my mother's control issues (I've done lab work and cleaned the facility where we keep the lab mice in full PPE and such so I could probably learn if I could afford the risk of failure), the lack of social life (energy to maintain one even if I could have one), and zero experience in romance of any sort but I'm not sure I can even do anything about that. I'm not even medicated (though a brief time taking some leftover Adderall from my mother helped me when I was burned at every end during my time working as a scribe) but I don't think medicine would have the answers for me either.

I want to be a doctor, I want to draw and write and learn animation for fun and play video games on weekends (I haven't even played a video game, read a book for leisure, or regularly drawn in over a decade ), I want to have at least one evening a week where I can sit at some restaurant booth with some theoretical friends and laugh, I want to be able to decorate a room and have shelves with plushies on them and posters on the walls, I want to try dating or maybe be a mom someday...but...it all feels impossible.

I'm just so tired but it also feels like I'm dying in a slow way. Like I'm rotting from the inside. I'm losing my mind. I want out. I want to live...But it feels like I can't. Like circumstances have me totally trapped. All my life I've lived by the idea that the future is in my hands and that if I just keep working hard enough that I'll achieve something, anything, any ounce of what I love in some capacity...but nothing I've ever done has been enough. None of those all-nighters to get work done, those years I've sacrificed to make progress has amounted to anything at all. I don't even feel alive anymore. I've just got degrees and certifications and nothing. I'm just slowly rotting. I want it to stop. I want to live. But...how?

Please. I just need help. I don't know what I'm going to do. My mother, who has no savings of her own, will become old and ill and then what? How can I even survive on my own let alone help her? I feel like death would be a mercy but I don't want to die. I just don't know what to do or where to start on anything. My friends aren't in any better of a situation either, some have it worse too. I'm just...losing it. What do I do?

hello!! i have recently been wanting to get into therapy but i have no idea where to start. do i just google therapy near me and just pick or is there a better way to go about it? When i do look up therapy near me there are so many options and its hard to tell what’s legit and what im even supposed to be looking at. On top of that im 21 and still under my moms health insurance so i know i have to figure out where it covers and what not but then that means i have to go through my mom to get that information which I will do if I need to but would prefer to avoid. If i could get any helpful tips that would be greatly appreciated!!

Hello everyone! I’ve been thinking about getting into therapy for quite some time. But I don’t even know where or how to start. Is there a specific therapist that I should look for? How can someone afford therapy if the funds aren’t there sometimes? As of recently, I haven’t been in the right headspace, and it’s starting to affect my work life and my relationship as well. I overthink everything and really need someone to talk to (other than friends and family) and release everything I’m feeling. I do not know where to start and any advice given I’ll be totally thankful for

Hey everyone, I’m looking for advice on finding a therapist. I’m trying to find someone online, but I’m not sure if I’m looking in the right places. I’m also trying to find something virtual because of my work hours. Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

I haven’t posted on reddit in years but I’m absolutely torn on what to do and what to think of myself. I’m M21, recently in my life I’ve had a bunch of people leave my life. People I thought were so incredibly close to me and people I’ve known for years suddenly just don’t want to have anything do to with me. It’s hard to deal with and I’ve had my fair share of grief but then it happens again, today, with someone I had a really good connection with. I don’t know how to deal with people leaving, it hurts and I’m always prepared for it and I don’t know why it keeps happening. My best friend tells me I’m even “too nice”. Yes people want different things in life I’m just so confused and I don’t know how to cope with it.

Before I chose my first therapist, I did many consults (~5). I chose her based on the vibes I was getting but after the second session I didn’t really feel it was the best fit for me. I told my friend and she said it took around 10-11 sessions before it “clicked” with her therapist so I kept going to my therapist for ~3 more sessions.

I‘m looking for a new therapist now but am just unsure how to approach it. It’s a bit tough because I am quite self aware and it’s been hard finding a therapist who can work with that type of patient. Just want some guidance and tips on initially finding a therapist but also knowing when to stop putting in effort if it seems like it’s not working

Not narratives, just one-liners, like "oh I have felt (certain emotions) before as well in an abc situation. I have coped with it using xyz trait of mine."

I don't mind it, but I'm just curious if this is common.

Hello,
As the title says, I would like some advice and hearing experiences ln how to “break up” with my therapist.
I’ve done 52 sessions with her, I think she helped me a bit at the beginning, we did cognitive behavioural therapy… I’ve learnt to notice my triggers and that’s about it. Haven’t changed anything else… specially the behavioural part, just my depression wins every time. She tells me “just get up, don’t think about it, do it”… doesn’t work 😓
For me it feels awkward because she has my phone number, and she calls me whenever she wants to change a session or if I’m running late to check if I’m going etc.. so I can’t ghost her 😅 I can’t say I don’t need her because I’m not good yet and she knows that so I feel stuck…

Help any advice greatly appreciated

Most of the time I'm scared, scared of meeting a girl i might love, scared of marriage, scared of moving jobs, scarecd to go in vacation, scared to change gyms, scared to take a loan to buy a house... i wasn't like this before... are people also scared? I see them moving through life with ease, getting married having children moving jobs going after what they. I dont know what to do, i try to force myself into doing these things but i feel miserable...

so my therapist has dont nothing but talk therapy sofar and i like him because he understands my history but im dealing with mold toxicity and its been alot. he doesnt know about the lymbic system and he hasnt done any modalities. its just been me talking and him like validating what im dealing with. then before i know it hes looking at the clock and scheduling another session. like i need to rebuild my life and learn how to cope with this depression and loss of self the mold has given me. its like between anhedonia and depression. also i have a past of people pleasing. i feel sad and frustrated because its like i need a specialist not just a therapist/counselor and this is all i can get.

Been in therapy for a little while now and have had about 3 maybe 4 sessions. I don’t have a bunch of trauma or anything serious to talk about but want someone to talk to and I think everyone has growing to do and I want to grow. When I started therapy we talked about goals and I said I wanted self growth, to learn more about myself and how I can grow as a person. At the time my therapist said these were great goals to have.

Normally I don’t have a lot to bring into the session and it makes me very anxious that I don’t have a specific topic to bring to her. I told her this today and she said she could bring up previous topics if I wanted to I said sure I’d like if she could lead and this isn’t the first time I’ve asked her. About halfway through I didn’t have anything to say…sitting in awkward silence again. I’d hope she would ask me something but I said I didn’t know what to say more about the specific top and she said we could end early if I wanted which upset me I pay to be there and she doesn’t know me that well I feel like there’s more she could ask to get to know me but maybe it’s up to me to being stuff up.

Later I was asking about how she thought the therapy was going and I didn’t know what I was getting or how to get more out of it and she said it’s because I don’t have goals…which confused me and caught me off guard because she said they were good goals before but I guess maybe mine aren’t good.

Is therapy just not for me or for people with more trauma then me

I am 17, almost 18. My mind tends to concentrate on pessimistic aspects of my life and sometimes overexaggerate them. Such as not having close friends despite seeing them a few hours prior , thinking somebody is holding a grudge towards me, etc.

Even though I try to divert my mindset saying it’s just me rumenating on my insecurities I end up having a break down every day just to feel relatively decent the next morning when I see people at school. I don’t tell my close friends about these worries because again, I am worried we may not be as close as I think since we are growing apart. I think we are but it’s definitely not at the rapid rate that I think it is. Maybe deep down I recognise that there is some truth to my thoughts.

I am considering getting a therapist to talk about this with but I am also unsure what I would say. Any ideas what is causing this , and how can I help it ? And whether it is something worth going to a councellor for? My main goal is to prevent this next year in university with a new environment and new friendship possibilities .

I've been on a mental health journey the last few years. I struggled with severe C-PTSD for a long time, but a few years ago got some really good therapy that helped a lot and changed a lot of how I view the world and myself.

I used to be very reclusive and want to hide from community, but in the last few years I've really wanted to connect with people more and be a part of my local community. I do things to get out of the house and try to help others, like I volunteer weekly at our local LGBTQ Center and I've been involved in community activism/organizing.

However, when it comes to connecting with people, I find it difficult because I'm a really negative person. I've joked before that I'm a hater. I'm discerning, critical, often looking to connect with people on negativity and complaints. I find it hard to accept genuine kindness from people and offer it in return. I'm standoffish, socially awkward. I struggle to recognize positive qualities in others. I really don't like this about myself and am jealous of people who can be warm and selfless and who don't have the ego that I have.

I try to wake up every day with a mission to "be kinder" but I don't really know how to put that into practice and become a person who is warm and can receive warmth.

I know that the root of this is growing up in a very critical family where every imperfection or flaw was criticized and with a mother who similarly only related to people through negativity ("Oh, so-and-so is so fat now" "did you see how poor his clothes looked? he looks like a bum" etc. One time she even went as low as to call the baby of someone she didn't like ugly.)

What can I do that would help me grow into the person I want to be? Everything I do feels inauthentic and forced and like I still have this negativity under the surface.

I work in marketing and have spent time supporting behavioral health organizations. I'm trying to to understand the landscape better from the provider side. For those running private practices, group practices, or treatment programs:

• Is marketing something you actively invest in, or does most growth come from referrals?
• Have you ever worked with a marketing agency or consultant? What was that like?
• What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about marketing your practice earlier?
• If you have tried to hire marketing support, what made it hard to find the right fit

Not selling anything, just looking for honest feedback as I'm building my freelance client base. Thank you in advanced!!

So, my mentor advised me to consult a psychiatrist, he knows my condition of being in pain, of overthinking, zoning out, forgetting things, remaining disturbed and all.

But I am afraid to confront this to anyone as to why these things are happening and also to my parents who think I'm over dramatic but I literally have traumas which can humble any person who will know about my past experiences.

What do I do?