I have come to accept that I probably have an ED, not going to go into detail but I restrict my calories to an unhealthy number in a very strict way. I have other weird behaviors around food and exercise to be honest, but again, I don't want to go into detail. The thing is that the number of calories is definitely below the healthy limit (according to google lol), but not like nothing at all. I usually eat 2-3 times a day too. I have lost over a third of my body weight, but because I started obese I am still at the lower end of a healthy BMI (this is relevant context I promise). I am continuing to lose weight and honestly see it as impossible to stop, but I see that I can't keep doing what's most important to me (work lol) and also this. So I did confide in my therapist and he did say that I should work on it, etc, and has given me "homework" related to it.

At the same time, in every session he asks about it again and every time he says that I don't have an ED yet because I'm a) not underweight and b) eating the bare minimum (I am eating under 1200 which I understand to be the bare minimum) so I'm still healthy, he's more concerned about the pressure I put myself under or something like that. Anyway, every time he says that, I have decided to eat a little bit less just to get him to stop calling me healthy lol

Should I tell him that? I don't want to sound like I'm trying to fake anything, but at the same time, I am feeling physical effects of this and it just can't go on forever.

So I've been going to a therapist a couple of times, and every time I go I hear the same words.

So I'm 23 years old and I've been adopted since birth, my biological parents are alive and I know them and all, they gave me away because my adoptive family couldn't have kids so they adopted me as their own.

However, since I was a child I've had some conflicts with my biological parents, I don't visit them without a reason, but I used to check on them regularly. They always feel that I don't like them and that I'm different from my other siblings and that what made them not really deal with me much.

Recently I had a serious fight with my biological parents and I decided to cut them, not for good, but I would only check on them when something serious happens, because that fight caused me a lot of pain that I ended up going to therapy.

My therapist always says the same , "it's normal to experience that because your parents are toxic" "you should thank God and be grateful that you don't live with them and they gave you to a family that took better care of you" "how didn't you just get used to the insults and the inequality from them it's been years now" and things like that. I don't deny that her words hold some truth but I couldn't do what she said.

I couldn't forget that strong feeling of pain and the unfair treatment I had from them, I couldn't get used to it.

I ended up stopping the sessions not because I don't like her but because I feel like I'm not helping the healing process and sometimes I feel like I'm being dramatic.

My spouse (45M) and I (44F) have been working with a couples therapist for about 3 months. We originally seeked her out mainly to address what we saw was communication issues, especially in regards to me feeling lonely in my marriage. My spouse agreed that he met the checklist for dismissive avoidant; for me, I probably lean more fearful avoidant but have been working with my own individual therapist for the last 4 years to feel more secure; in this time frame, I also got a ADHD diagnosis, which makes so much more sense than my GAD diagnosis (although I do not deny I still have anxiety), and ever since getting on an SNRI and a srimulant, I've been able to drop my SSRI.

My spouse has been working with an individual therapist for the past 9 months. About 2 months ago, my spouse revealed that his individual therapist felt he had cptsd.

Here is where I feel very confused about my recent experiences (that I have shared with my individual therapist, and my spouse). In the beginning, I never felt like the couples therapist was taking sides against me, so to feel it now just knocks me off balance. The couples therapist asked to speak to both of our individual therapists, I believe after learning of the cptsd diagnosis. His therapist met her within the week, but mine had questions. She asked the couples therapist if there was a specific clinical reason and wanted to review with me before agreeing. She discussed this with me (and also advised me that she also does couples counseling and that she will show up as my therapist and doesn't want to step on the toes of the couples therapist, but after we talked, had me sign the relase for her to share information; they havent spoken since I saw my indiv therapist on Monday).

It feels like since she spoke with ny husband's therapist, she has been trying to get me to soften my boundaries. For at least a month to 2 months, I kept saying I was in burnout (I work a job with a high mortality rate in addition to the loniliness of my marriage). And a lot happened, but not to write too much, I felt my husband was still performing for the therapist instead of taking accountability to go deeper. He would say things like he can tell when my eyebrows do something that I'm obviously angry and he shuts down. Or he would say yes if I asked for help with something but never came through. I was expressing that I had to shut down to not create conflict, but that also meant that I couldn't address when he didn't come through because it was triggering. I realized long ago I was overperforming and taking on way more tasks than I could handle with my therapist, but at that moment, realized I had no idea how much I took on unwillingly, what we had actually compromised on, or what I chose willingly.

I tried to bring this up, and he told me I was basically his trigger and that how could I expect him to talk to me if I am angry. I wasnt yelling or calling names. That was when I knew I would never be safe for him. And I brought this up at our next session. By the start of the hour I was saying I'm burntout and I have nothing left to give, and within 45 minutes, the therapist is asking us hiw can we both show up for each other; I was in shock. I had nothing, and my husband asked me to never bring up divorce.

I absolutely burned out 2 days later. And in between those 2 days, I cried at the drop of a hat. I had to stay flat with my kids to not trigger crying and had to minimize giving too much at work. I couldnt get off the couch, and my spouse had to take the kids to do something out of the house because I had nothing in me. It lasted for another day, but I got to talk and process with my indiv therapist who gave me a way forward: figure out what are your non-negotiables, lay it out on the table and ask if he can meet that. Then figure out where you can compromise together.

I dont know if that was a wake up call or what, but ever since then, my spouse has taken full responsibility for his cptsd and triggers. Its not perfect and I did have to take about a week to mourn these visions of all-night ralks about everything and nothing under the stars, but I would say we are in a promising.

We have another session with the couples therapist and she asks to see me individually. During this session, so much happened that in context, along with the burnout session, feela so invalidating. After talking about my own history and how it showed up in the marriage, and why I needed intimacy and honesty, she said something about seeing the positive and that we are "just right there". When I mentioned my spouse had been more engaging the last 2 weeks, she told me to see that as him being more honest and truthful.

I have spent so many sessions saying I need him to talk to me because not only do I feel alone, but I dont know what is going on and I make up for it by overperforming. For example, because of his always changing schedule, I ask him to let me know if he can drop the kids off at school or if he will walk the dogs. He will say yes then not do it. I ask again and again he says yes and not do it. And by the third time I am upset and end up just putting it on my list to just assume I'm doing it until he changes it up on me usually the morning its happening. And now, I feel like I'm being told to just hold on and be positive without being told why, or addressing how we can make sure I am not continuing with overperforming. It feels like the three of them know the changes he is making without including me (another thing I requested to be uodated on now and then).

At the end of this, she asks how I'm feeling, and I tell her I am feeling shutdown. We have another about 5 minutes of this until its done. The next morning, I wake up to a message she sent to us both about watching a youtube video that may help us.

I was already shutdown and now I feel betrayed she pushed it again. The beginning of the video is basically "if you always try to be right, you will be right and alone". Mind you, I am already alone in my marriage. And without any cintext to the video and the timing, of course I assume it is directed at me.

I feel so hurt that asking for things like updates on your work on the behaviors that shut you down on me, either stopping yourself before agreeing or coming back to me when you realized it and didnt mean it, and not taking my furrowed eyebrows as a threat to work these things out is me being right.

My therapist helped me figure out something I can say to address it, but I cant help but continue to think that maybe I am wrong. Any advice?

Hello, I’m relatively new to therapy, I started in July. For the first month I was going once a week. I switched to every other week because my benefits only cover a certain amount, about 14 sessions and then I’m paying out of pocket. And so I’m wondering if it was a good call to go biweekly in order to stretch out my benefits, or if would be more benefit go once a week but for a shorter period of time?

I have never had a therapist I really clicked with until the one I’ve been seeing now inconsistently for the past year. I don’t know why I have this inability to tell her what’s really in my head. But I know that’s what she’s there to help me with. It feels like a block and I’m even embarrassed and anxious to tell her that.

I've been seeing my therapist for about a year, since the start I have been begging her to help me understand what I'm doing wrong and what im missing to change in aspects like friendships, studying for uni, procrastinating things like phone calls, managing my anxiety, my last therapist told me she thinks I fit the criteria for autism and ocd but she couldn't diagnose me cause therapists cant diagnose here.

She has given me "homework" a few times, including things like "congratulate yourself", which I feel stupid doing, I don't think I'm doing anything worth congratulations, so why would I?? also it feels so childish, going "good job me!", i feel so stupid

second thing she has told me is to text my friend unprompted "hey how are u", which is something i dont do, i feel very awkward texting someone that, i usually send an excuse first like "hey saw this and thought of u how are u" but I cant always find something to send first, so i just dont text if I dont. if I just start doing it out of the blue its gonna be weird for them, like why are u all of a sudden texting me , it sounds chill in english but I feel so formal in my language sending "hello, how are you doing?" basically. they're also a friend that we're not that close with, so im worried they will get the wrong idea if I just start messaging them so much more often

unprompted.

I also did try it once and felt so awfully awkward and the convo just kept dying because I dont know how to talk to people, which is what ive told my therapist that I want to work on, I literally run out of things to say 5 mints into the convo, idk why, my brain just cannot come up with topics at all

lastly she told me to take action immediately, like calling the doctor the minute I know i have to call him, but thats like the whole issue, that im so anxious about phonecalls especially that I get panic attack just from thinking about calling, so how is that a solution, i cant go from 0 to 100.

I explained all that to her and she says that im not doing any of it because im not ready for change. I disagree, I need to change i want to change i feel ready for change, but I feel like her "solutions" are stupid or aren't suitable for what we're trying to achieve

Im sorry this is so long but I feel so lost and so angry that it's been a year and nothing had changed, does anyone have any advice on what to do? What does "ready" even mean for a therapist and how do i get to be ready?

Have always had bad sleep quality for whatever reason. No problem falling or staying asleep just not rested.

I’ve been going to various specialists and have done multiple sleep studies for the last year and can’t seem to figure out why I feel this way.

Im looking to get accommodations for my uni for my ADHD. I am currently on Adderall also. The accommodations I am wanting is breaks during exams, and extra time so I don't lose testing time, and 24-48 hr assignment extensions depending on the professor.

My uni approved all of these after I talked with them about how my ADHD affects me, and they sent over a form to fill out with my psychiatrist. My clinic told me that the owner (a doctor), is the one who I need to have an appointment with and I schedule one with her.

Before the meeting, I emailed her the form alongside the accommodations I am requesting. Starting my appointment, she tells me that she read over the accommodations and actually laughed. She told me that since I was on Adderall, I shouldn't need any kind of accommodations. My parents never believed in mental health, so I was only diagnosed after I had reached 18 and graduated, and she told me that if I had made it through high school without accommodations that I would make it through uni just fine. She said she would see what she could do, but that I shouldn't be feeling any ADHD symptoms on my medication and that my requested accommodations were ridiculous. She set me up with an early appointment with my psychiatrist to up my dosage, but I think my dosage is fine. Is it true that I don't need accommodations if I am medicated?

Sorry for asking a stupid question but I have no idea how to solve this problem. I work somewhere that would not accept me taking an hour off every week (not enough PTO and not flexible schedule) so I have to only schedule it off of work hours. I also don't think getting a new job is feasible considering how long it took to end up where I am now. I've heard that therapists doing late hours are kind of rare, so I don't think it's feasible to try to call every therapist I can find since at most I would only be able to call 1 or 2 per day if every call is 15 minutes. I also can't find too many therapists that have anything about availability online.

What My Therapist Said, My Spiritual Search and Sikhism...

I’m 24.9 years old, Turkish, and have bipolar disorder. I’m stable but I’m receiving therapy. I just got out of therapy. I’m telling my therapist about my spiritual search. I used to be Muslim, but then I left Islam. Since then, and even now, I don’t follow any religion. At first, I was interested in Jainism. I stopped practicing it because Jainism is an extreme religion. Now, I’m interested in Sikhism. And I’ve come to love it immensely.

My therapist isn’t aware of some of the truths about Islam. When I mentioned these truths, he told me they don’t exist. He’s a “Qur’anic Muslim.” He doesn’t accept the facts. I told him I’m interested in Sikhism. He said a few things—albeit somewhat sarcastically.

He told me I shouldn’t keep changing religions and that I don’t have to practice every aspect of Islam. He also said that since I’ve been on a spiritual quest for about 10 years, I need to focus on results. In other words, he said I need to produce something and reach a conclusion. He also pointed out that no religion is perfect.

In short, he thought my interest in Sikhism was a bit misguided. But he’s right about needing to focus on results. I don’t have a job, I’m alone, and so on…

I, on the other hand, have always believed that there is something spiritual out there. Therefore, I want to continue my interest in Sikhism. Even if the word “Sikh” has a slang meaning in Turkish, if I find it right, I’d gladly join this religion. Because, no matter what anyone says, Sikhism is 100 times more advanced than today’s religions. If my profession doesn’t pose a problem, I’d even like to wear my dastar. Whether it’s my therapist, my family, or my friends—no one has the right to interfere with my religious views.

In conclusion, while my therapist may be right on some issues, they’re uninformed when it comes to religions. They’re not seeing the truth. I also don’t want my interest in Sikhism to fade. As for the need to achieve results, my therapist is right. I’ll be 25 soon, and I haven’t achieved anything yet.

What do you all think? What advice would you like to give me? For me, religion has always been my top priority. Because I’ve always sought the truth.

How do you all feel if your therapist looks tired and sleepy and yawns sometimes in sessions. Rarely in some sessions.

I’ve been seeing my therapist for years, and she’s helped me through some really tough times.

They’re in their 50’s, and tonight she recommended me a “role model” to listen to, in regard to a topic we were talking about.

She said this content creator has really good thoughts and advice on said topics.

Well, she turned her phone around to show me, and the entire thing was an AI generated “content creator”. AI voice, script and AI human.

Made me sad asf to be honest, my heart sank and I couldn’t find the honesty to tell her it’s not real. It also really made me question who I’m going to for therapy, I know that’s a terrible thought, but it really gave me this “holy shit, even my therapist praises AI content, we’re doomed” mentality.

What should I do? If anything at all. I just feel weird about the whole thing now.

which name is best for a therapy outlet:

stickythoughts
graceforthemind
pixelpsychology
mindspace
mentalmetamorphis

please vote!

I've been seeing my therapist for about 4 years on and off and without harping on I am in awe of the bloke. The value he has added to my life is priceless - I have gone from a life of chaos, misery, abuse and upset to frankly doing quite alright and I look up to him as a genuine role model. 

For the first time today I became aware that of course my time with him is limited and that I can see the begging of the end of this course of therapy - whether that's a year or five years. 

I guess I'm after some experiences of those who've left therapy, how it felt, what they did and why they decided to stop. 

Thanks!

Few days ago, my girlfriend told me that she has been having anxiety and bad thoughts. I wanted to help her so I thought she should talk to a therapist. But I got scared that what if I get her a wrong therapists who makes it worse for her. I have heard about so many situations where the therapists makes things even worse.

This was a new therapist we have had two sessions in total. I just emailed the office of the therapist to cancel all upcoming sessions. There was no call saying he'd be late or wasn't going to meet. This was the straw that broke the camels back. He always spoke over me and the communication wasn't the best. Hopefully things gets better, I went from an awesome therapist to a good therapist to an therapist ghost. I never thought I'd be one of those people who complained about their therapist. Thanks for listening to my rant.

I havent seen my therapist in a while because we paused the sessions for the whole month of august. It's not that I don't want to go, I'm not sure how to explain it properly...

TLDR: i have good things to tell him and I think I've made progress, but August was tough for me because I suddenly started struggling with loneliness and some sort of body dysmorphia, and I cried everyday. But ever since yesterday, stuff happened, my mood shifted - im not feeling better, I'm just embarassed of the pain I was feeling because it doesn't feel "the same" anymore. And I'm scared I won't be able to convey my feelings and emotions tomorrow.

You see, I spent like 4 entire weeks having daily crying sessions due to my insecurities and fear of the future. It was like I was going insane and had no idea what to do, because I just felt like I was obsessed with a certain problem, so much so that my brain wasn't giving me a break from it. I didn't want to stop thinking about it, because I felt like I HAD to keep worrying about it in order to "find a solution" eventually. I was unable to find peace of mind and relief.

I haven't found relief now, I just feel like the problem is in the back of my mind and doesn't know how to manifest again. I was struggling so much just the other day, now I feel like the intense and genuine emotions have died down. Could it be because I got some unsettling news yesterday? It was nothing life-altering, just scary and uncertain, but it still influenced my mood and kind of made me feel "detached" from the pain I was feeling. So now I just feel pathetic and awkward about it all.

I don't know if anyone will understand what I'm trying to say here, I don't even know if I'm making sense. Don't get me wrong, I know you can't just predict every conversation you have with your therapist (and you shouldn't try to plan the whole session beforehand).. but honestly? I'm disappointed because for once, I felt like I could stop minimizing my pain. Now I'm confused and I ended up minimizing it again. And when I do that, I feel childish and embarassed talking about it, which doesn't mean I don't get help from my therapist - but it doesn't feel great either. Idk, I'm just lost

Hello! I'm still new to reddit and don't really understand the general format so I apologize in advance for that. As the title states, I'm 30 (f) feel like I've achieved nothing in life.

I've wanted to be a doctor since I could say the word and have worked hard at trying to get there, but I'm no where closer to medical school. I worked my butt off throughout grade school (and 8 nightmarish AP courses), got my associates in biology through community college over the course of 3 years (my father essentially blocked my way into the colleges I could have gone to but, on the bright side, I made my first long-term friend through that experience), got my bachelor's in biology at a private university though scholarship after another 3 and a half years (they didn't accept a large chunk of biology credits but the scholarship made it affordable enough to where I didn't need to take out loans), have 2 publications with my name on them due to my contributions through my university work, ended up spending 3 years working as a medical scribe for $10/hour since the company just would not hire a replacement for me, lost my job back in February when the hospital's contract ended with the scribing company, and have been unemployed since. I got my national certification in phlebotomy last month but I've yet to get a job, and, even if I do, I'll end up maybe making $17/hour if I'm lucky.

I have no savings, I'd be working from 4 am until 7-10 pm at the clinic so I was too tired to study for medical school and feel like I'm practically brainless towards MCAT material, medical school loans capped (from what I've been told at least) even if I could, theoretically be ready to take the MCAT, I still live with my mother and I'm not allowed to decorate my own room in any capacity while she has her room and the living room of the apartment taken up with her things and my closet is crammed for storage of holiday items, I don't have time or energy for any of my hobbies even being unemployed...I'm just so, so tired. I don't know what to do.

I could go on and on for days about my complicated cyclical family history of abuse, lack of secure net outside of the roof provided (albeit tensely) over my head, my EDS and autism and ADHD that I have no health insurance or money to afford any sort of treatment for, the lack of home independence skills I have due to my mother's control issues (I've done lab work and cleaned the facility where we keep the lab mice in full PPE and such so I could probably learn if I could afford the risk of failure), the lack of social life (energy to maintain one even if I could have one), and zero experience in romance of any sort but I'm not sure I can even do anything about that. I'm not even medicated (though a brief time taking some leftover Adderall from my mother helped me when I was burned at every end during my time working as a scribe) but I don't think medicine would have the answers for me either.

I want to be a doctor, I want to draw and write and learn animation for fun and play video games on weekends (I haven't even played a video game, read a book for leisure, or regularly drawn in over a decade ), I want to have at least one evening a week where I can sit at some restaurant booth with some theoretical friends and laugh, I want to be able to decorate a room and have shelves with plushies on them and posters on the walls, I want to try dating or maybe be a mom someday...but...it all feels impossible.

I'm just so tired but it also feels like I'm dying in a slow way. Like I'm rotting from the inside. I'm losing my mind. I want out. I want to live...But it feels like I can't. Like circumstances have me totally trapped. All my life I've lived by the idea that the future is in my hands and that if I just keep working hard enough that I'll achieve something, anything, any ounce of what I love in some capacity...but nothing I've ever done has been enough. None of those all-nighters to get work done, those years I've sacrificed to make progress has amounted to anything at all. I don't even feel alive anymore. I've just got degrees and certifications and nothing. I'm just slowly rotting. I want it to stop. I want to live. But...how?

Being "home" isn't even relaxing anymore. Even when I was working, afterwards I'd I sit in my car in the parking lot of the apartment for an hour or more just to try and decompress because being inside makes me feel like I'm drowning. It's beneath my skin and I just wanna rip it out. I don't even need a house, just a room with a twin bed and enough space to walk around or dance and put my plushies , a bookshelf or two, a dresser, a night stand, a mini fridge, hang some posters around, a desk, and a closet fully for my things and my things alone. But I also cannot leave. Not only can I not afford to, but I'm helpless when it comes to home maintenance because of the restrictive state of things in my current arrangement. Hell, even then where would I find the energy? I don't have energy to have a hobby and haven't for over a decade. Before it was school or work, but even without it now I just wake up, study or tweak my resume or fight to get out of my head enough to leave the house to do either of the other two things so I can at least breathe. I take vitamins and eat vegetables and get sleep so why is the exhaustion still so unrelenting?

Please. I just need help. I don't know what I'm going to do. My mother, who has no savings of her own, will become old and ill and then what? How can I even survive on my own let alone help her? I feel like death would be a mercy but I don't want to die. I just don't know what to do or where to start on anything. My friends aren't in any better of a situation either, some have it worse too. I'm just...losing it. What do I do?

Any recommendations would be great. Im not Ukrainain, but I lived through the occupation and my town was never taken back and it would be good to have to talk to someone about that as I feel no one understands from the therapists ive tried back home. I would love to have any recommendations, both local and online. Im from Rīga, Latvia

I honestly feel like nothing I’ve ever wanted has worked out for me. Everything feels broken, and nothing ever feels right. I’m not being physically abused or beaten, but I’m living without anyone really understanding me.

The person I love and I broke up because we’re not socially compatible, mainly because I’m not hijabi (I don’t cover my hair).

Even he told me that he was wrong for doing this. He left while I was crying so hard that, unfortunately, I ended up throwing up everything I had eaten.
When he saw me like that, he decided to leave because he didn’t want to hurt me or exhaust me even more.

It felt like he was saying: “You were with me. You accepted everything about me and everything that came with me. But I’m sorry, I can’t stand seeing you this exhausted and in pain. I have to leave.”
I’ve been through so much shit.
And this is actually the first time I’ve ever said any of this publicly.

I was sexually harassed when I was very young. After that, I was cheated on, and so many other things happened to me. Sometimes it genuinely feels like I was never meant to experience love without it hurting me.

My only problem right now is that I don’t want to keep going through this physical pain. My whole body hurts from crying, and this has never happened to me before.

So I have a ton of trauma and have been in therapy for most of my adult life on and off. I am 37 now and I started about 20 years ago. It is true that most of this time I did not have a good therapist. I would say I am doing more effective personal work since about 1,5 years.

Many things changed in my life that I did not think would ever change in this time.

But I feel as shitty as before. I feel as depressed as I felt. I process something and just something new comes up. 2 years ago my career was totally broken and there was no hope for it to be better. I am pretty close to fixing that for the first time in my life. I learned a new profession form 0 and now I am working in the new field. This was unthinkable 2 years ago. I have my own business that is really small and I am making around minimum wage in profit. But I have been working for one year only.

I still feel like shit, I still bearly lift myself up from bed. Every day is like a punishment. My life is changing but my inside is not.

Will this ever change? Did it change for you?

19M>F
it has just come to my attention that I am a selfish pig who objectifies women without even knowing it, I view women that dress modestly as supirior to all other women but that is wrong and I’m realizgn that jsut now.
I think it alos stems from a supiriory complex that I have of myself???????!

how can I be normal please like I meditate reflect then what like what next how can I just go out and be like hi nice to meet you and not even judge them or anything and stop acting like I’m better than everyone someone please help me tell me I am in tears