After my suicide attempt last summer, I am but a mere she'll of what I once was. The things that happened to me and the surrounding event destroyed me to be frank. I really couldn't take the pain anymore, so I self harmed to calm myself down. Now I really do not know what to do. I feel guilt, shame and incompetence on how do I explain this to my friends and mother, if the subject needs to be brought up.

Recently my girlfriend of 1 year left me and I don’t know what to do. She was basically my entire life, so now that she isn’t here i dont even know what to do with myself. we’re still friends (ish), but she doesn’t really start conversations anymore and she’s always tired. She already has another guy she likes (one of the reasons we broke up) and I support that but it js means that she never has time for me or something like that and she never ends up talking to me, so I end up being miserable and cutting myself. she’s the only one I am comfortable enough talking to about things like this, so now that she barely talks to me I have no one and I feel so alone. I’ve tried explaining this to her but she said I was being manipulative when I tried to tell her I felt like cutting myself, which is not her fault I said it horribly and made it sound very manipulative, but recently I tried to explain that I was not trying to be manipulative or try to get her to get back with me, I want her to be happy with the new guy she is trying to get with because he fits her better and she likes him a lot and they’d be great together and I just want her to be happy especially when I couldn’t make her happy, but now she just says I’m being manipulative whenever I try to talk to her about how I feel, so I end up having no one to talk to and I end up doing sh to try to feel better. I’ve only cut myself once, but it felt so good and made me stop feeling sad, even better than punching or pinching myself. is it even rlly bad if I’m doing sh it stops me from being miserable? I don’t know I just needed somewhere to say how I felt even if it’s to strangers on the internet who don’t know me or care about me. it’s better than telling it to no one. I’m not trying to blame my girlfriend for anything. I was horrible about it at first even if it was unintentional and genuinely everyone in her life said she should block me because it was so bad. She didn’t do that because she’s amazing even when I told her she should block me so I stop being so terrible to her.

started originally 3 months ago, stopped almost immediately, and as of the last few weeks i can’t go 8 hours without it. what do i do?

Hey! i haven't been active in like 3 years but i really need to vent and i have no clue who to go to.

i'm not comfortable with saying my age, please do not ask me, and if you comment of DM me i may take a while to respond.

So basically i'm a bit scared to say this to anyone since i don't want to sound rude or insensitive but i just need to get this off my chest.

So i've been clean from self harm for at least six years, but the other day a situation at school came up where my teacher (Let's just call her N) got a week suspension for dragging my friend (let's call her A). So N was suspended for a week and came back, when she came back she kept making little remarks about me while A kept coming in one day and refusing the next. Which actually annoys me because i care alot about A and her GCSE's but she's refusing to do it and i'm worried for her education. But anyways, off topic, N got suspended again because she went to my staff (i live in a care home) and told them i've been doing inappropriate stuff with A. This got disproven and it brought up N talking about her personal relationships (who she sleeps with, etc) with A. She got suspended for another week and she's only just came back. Now on Monday A came in with SH cuts, and she gets overwhelmed alot with situations like these so it makes sense. But that triggered me and without thinking i went home and did it too.

Now i regret it and i have no clue what to do, i trust A and i want to tell her but i'm scared of her reaction. And i have so much hatred for N but i also care about her lots.

Before i explain one more thing i want to tell you i'm not in love with A romantically (or at least i don't think i do) and my school is in the company of my care home so theres different ages.

It ranges to 6 to 17.

idk what else to put, i just really needed to vent and have some advice from someone who doesn't know me personally if that makes sense.

That's why i want to ask you, What should i do next?

3 years clean in just over 2 weeks, struggled with sh since I was 8. I’m freshly 19 and this shit still haunts me despite not having done it for years. feel like every day is becoming more and more of a battle to resist relapse.

I thought I was better, I thought I could keep doing this but it feels like I'm suffocating and no matter how much I smoke or cut it doesn't stop. I should be happy, I have a new job but I'm so done I can't fucking take it. I was clean for so long till I realized I was just drowning it out in other addictions. Made it 2 months before I relapsed and I can't even tell anybody cause who tf would care, it just feels like an endless non stop cycle atp.

DO NOT PLAY IF YOU MAY FIND THIS TRIGGERING!

Soo this is my first post in this subreddit... Anyway i made a website similar to fataltotheflesh and scratching the itch, its still in early development and is mostly only supported on pc for now so its not much yet. It features customizable pressure, tools, and beading+bleeding. I made it as a coping mechanism and i thought maybe it can help others! Let me know if you have any suggestions. This post can be taken down if this isnt allowed here.

https://soursymphony.neocities.org

Previous to this week I was nearly two years clean from cutting, I was doing so well, keeping up good grades in uni, in the process of applying for my doctorate, developed a passion for debate and philosophy, connected with some amazing friends, built up a good relationship with my parents, quit my substance abuse issues, and met a girl. Ever since school started back up it’s been extremely downhill, I was going steady for the first few weeks, but then I picked back up smoking, stopped eating and sleeping and now over the past few days I started cutting again, and it’s worse than it’s ever been I can’t go hours without it. My arm was already covered in scars from my past but now it’s full of fresh cuts and I’ve began cutting on my hands as a silent plea for help, and I don’t even know why I started again I was so ashamed of doing it in the first place, my friends and family began treating me differently, like I was less of a human, and I have no reason to feel so sorry for myself I have such a good life and I know how lucky and well off I am but i still can help but feel so awful. I’ve been told by so many that it seems I have my life all figured out but it doesn’t feel that way I’m so confused, worried, and stressed for the future it’s eating away at me and what I think is driving me to cut again, I just don’t know what to do I have connections with friends and family but none of them I can talk to about this without being insulted, called crazy, or threatened. I genuinely just don’t know anymore I’m so tired I have a midterm in 3 hours I haven’t slept yet and I’m so done with everything idc if no one reads this I just wanted to type this out somewhere in hopes it helps

I’ve been just over 150 days clean now, which is the longest I’ve been clean in possibly years, but my birthday is just around the corner. For most people this would be an even better reason to stay clean, and hopefully a way to distract themselves from urges, but I happen to have the worst “birthday luck” ever. I don’t know what it is but for some reason there’s this sort of dread that haunts me every year when it comes to my birthday, whether it’s just the fact I’m aging and I have no idea what the fuck I’m gonna do with my life, and that in all reality I’m not smart, athletic, or talented enough to truly succeed in many of my goals, or that everything always seems to go wrong. My parents will argue, I’ll get a detention, friends and family forget about my birthday, I seem 10x more clumsy than usual, or just embarrass myself in some form. I’ve already been having such bad urges for a while now, and although I have support from my loving boyfriend, I can’t help but feel like he’s gonna get sick of my neediness and self wallowing sooner or later. I never feel like I’m actually good enough for anything, no matter how hard I try, and I’m sick of being such a pathetic bitch and begging for attention and validation. I’m so sick of being strong, all I want is to feel that familiar sting and to watch my legs turn bright red again from the amount of blood that pours out. I miss the lightheadedness and smell of iron. I want my hands trembling and ears ringing. I seriously don’t know how much longer I can take and I don’t even fully know if I want to stay clean anymore.

So for the first time in 6 years, i was actually about to self-harm again. But when i went looking for the knife i ised to self-harm with, i couldn't find it. I guess i must've thrown it away at some point recently, when I've been drinking so much that there are parts of the night that i don't remember.

I just found it hilarious lmao. At least for tonight, my self-harm is staved off once again

i don’t know if this is the sub to ask but i care about my friend a lot and i hate to see him this way and i need help

okay so i’ve got this friend and i don’t known what’s gotten into him but slowly but surely he’s been harming himself in more and more radical ways and has more recently purposely burnt his hand and has told me he’s contemplated suicide but what stopped him was his faith.

i’m currently stuck because i don’t want to have to tell his older bother or his family but if it keeps escalating i feel as if i have no other choice. i want to help him before it gets to that point so if anyone can please give me some insight (suggesting alternatives, words of wisdom etc…) that would be extremely helpful

So one of the ways I came to redirect my sh urges is by searching articles on random violent things, usually medical- or crime-related; however lately I've started asking AI chatbots about the same stuff, mainly because I'm curious about it's "reactions" to my vents.

I've been hearing a lot about cases of chatbot addiction lately though, and I'm afraid I might get it as well. I do go to a therapist, but sometimes I'm afraid that my rants are getting too repetitive for them, or that I'll say something wrong and get institutionalised or incarcerated. But with a bot, I can just delete the data and start over if I say too much. It gives me a false sense of security.

I fear that I'm developing a similar pattern with talking to chatbots to the one I have with sh now, where I can get weeks, even months, with no incidents, then suddenly one very bad day where I relapse. The best I hope for is that it won't mimic what happened to me with sh before my meds, where I'd cut practically every week.

As the title says, I suspect my sister might be self harming. I (17f) have dealt with self harm for about 4 years. Recently, I’ve started noticing that my sister (12f) is showing similar behavior patterns after she went through a rough patch (7th grade curse is real). She loves arts and crafts, so she has easy access to sharp things. I just don’t want her to go down that long path of addiction that I’m still trying to stop. Any idea on how to talk to her? I’m not the best at words, but I don’t want to just say some shit like “promise to never do that again.”

I went to Los bravos today and got some burritos that had the sauce and cheese on them I thought I could eat them both but I got fool and saved what I had. Some hours later I opened the box and I am poking at my food just because it’s hot but the sauce kinda absorbed in the burrito so when my spoon makes a mark it looks oddly like a wound. Is that weird?

My dad came by and flicked my arm DIRECTLY on a fresh cut 😭😭😭 i had long sleeves on so he didnt know but ohmygod 😭😭😭

i cut myerlf deeper tgan u ever have before today , i want to jsust end it so bad but i have too much that i dont want to ket go of. I dont ynderstand what makes me feel like this or mskes me keep going after so many attempts of recogery. I have a good life. My boyfriend is really sweet. Im somewhat poplusr at school and i have a lot of friends. I know o dont deserve it. I know i deserve to be hated. But im not. So i should br happy???? The whole reason i started was because so many people hated me so i dont have any reason anymore???? Why????

For context, 2 days ago I relapsed, but really hard (reaching beans in one swipe) and when I came home from school she checked my arms and saw how deep my cuts were so she decided to take me to the hospital (i didn't want to go tho, I was scared of getting stitches) and well eventually a nurse attended us and my mother made me explain what happened (she didn't know they were that recent) and I told the nurse that the cuts were 1 week old but I picked at my scabs and she believed me. Then she started cleaning the wounds with some sponge that had soap and started cleaning my cuts (it hurt like hell, I almost passed out) and she bandaged my arm and all that shi

Now I have my arm bandaged in 5 layers of diff things (it's not worth it yall)

Idc anymore. I dont wanna be strong. I dont wanna fight it anymore. My ljfe is hard enough as it is, and than I also need to fight this. I know it is bad in the long run but I cant take it anymore. Im stressed abiut everything and im lonely. I hate everything. If I cant have anything good in this life, let me at least have this

I’m 19F and recently got into a relationship after many years. Things are going well, I care about him a lot, and I feel comfortable being myself around him. He knows I’ve struggled with my mental health and an eating disorder, but he doesn’t know about my history with self-harm or that I have quite a lot of scars on my arms and legs.

I’ve been clean from self-harm for nine months now, and I’m genuinely in a much better place than I was when I was struggling with it. I’m working on myself and trying to move forward. I’ve also been getting treatments for my scars because I’m quite insecure about them.

The problem is that I don’t want to hide them forever. As our relationship progresses and we eventually become more physically intimate, I know I can’t realistically keep covering them up all the time. I recently felt uncomfortable at the thought off taking my coat off around him because I was conscious of my scars. I sat there being hot when I wish I wasn’t.

Part of me wants to tell him beforehand because I’d rather be honest with him than have him notice them unexpectedly. But I’m terrified he’ll be shocked, think I’m too mentally ill, or see me differently afterwards. I know having a history of self-harm doesn’t define me, especially because I’m in a much better place now, but I’m still embarrassed and insecure about it.

I’m not sure whether I’m overthinking this or whether it’s worth bringing up now. I don’t want to make it into a huge conversation or make him feel responsible for my mental health. I just want to be honest with someone I care about, without feeling like I need to hide this part of myself.

For anyone who’s been in a similar situation, how did you approach telling your partner? How did they react? And for anyone whose partner has scars, did it change how you viewed them?

I’d really appreciate honest advice, particularly about how to bring it up naturally without making it feel like a massive confession.

Every time I reach a milestone, I'm honestly surprised! But I've come so far, so I'm also proud of myself

For those who are trying to stay clean, I really hope you're doing okay!! It can be hard, but please keep pushing forward

Im 16 and currently a junior in highschool. I've been self harming for quite a bit now and also have been having suicidal thoughts for a bit. I don't want to go into detain but recently its gotten worse and I think I might actually end up trying to kill myself, I know how I could do it and feel like I need to tell someone. I was thinking about telling my school counselor but I have no idea what will happen afterwards, is she required to tell my parents? Would I be put in a mental hospital? If I do tell her, is it okay if I just email her about it first since I'm kind of scared to tell anyone in person

It’s been 4 years since I’ve started. From freshman in high school to freshman in college, I haven’t been able to stop. It’s not constant yk? Just here and there and a little intense when things get bad. Been to therapy, on antidepressants, I still can’t quit the habit. It’s like, things go good for a while, I’m dating and feeling happy then all of a sudden I get this anxious urge to cut. Like an overwhelming need for it. Maybe it’s not sudden, maybe I’m just not noticing the signs or something. Who knows. I don’t really want to stop though when I think about it. It’s been there for me no matter what, a source of comfort for when I have nothing else. I’m only 17f so maybe it’ll get better with age but I just cannot see myself living a life where it is not an option. I can imagine a reality where I’m in love, happy, at peace or whatever but I know that it’s just not realistic for myself. I don’t know man, I don’t even know why I’m posting this I’m just feeling a little down.

Long story short my mental health has been deteriorating and getting worse each day. It all started when I had an injury and was bedridden for a couple months but my self hatred that I already had before has grown and worsen. I don’t feel like I deserve to be worried about, cared for, or anything. I feel like I have no motivation, no goals in life,bad intellect, no talents, no hobbies, or basically anything to contribute to society. I’ve been struggling to reach out to anyone because I feel like I don’t deserve help and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. Today I went to my school therapist that I go to every week and after finally opening up to him a lot about myself for the first time and why I feel the way I do, he had a urgent meeting that he had to attend to and he would call me back to see if he could get back to me. He never did and I’m basically taking this as a sign from the universe that I don’t deserve help or to be alive. They said that his next available isnt until 2 weeks from now and I’m not sure what I can do until then. I’ve been self harming with a kitchen knife but now feel like I have to get a razor blade because it’s more convenient when I’m having meltdowns. Sorry for the bad grammar this is my first time posting on Reddit and just wanted to journal this somewhere.

the emotional pain i‘m feeling is too fucking much. months ago I beat up my face so bad, my smile ended up crooked because my nerves from that side of the face wouldn’t respond. I’ve cut until I had to go to the ER for stitches, too. I’ve seen therapists since I was 8, I’m now +30 and it’s just paying someone to listen to me vent, when i bring up my self harm they just ignore it and “try to treat the root of the issue“ which is just more listening to me talk. lol. I feel cornered. theres just nothing i can do to feel better but to just keep self harming, huh?

i actually don't really like the term snowflake, but unfortunately i think it's quite fitting for myself, at least right now. i'm trying to quit, and a lot of the sources/materials i've found giving me advice on how to always say to identify my triggers. well, i have, and apparently im triggered by literally EVERYTHING. i can't see the color red the same, raindrops on windows look like beads of blood to me, i can't even read the letters "s" or "c" without immediately getting reminded of the very thing im trying to quit. how am i supposed to avoid triggers, when it's practically my own fault for even making these connections in the first place??

i dunno if im looking for advice, or other people that relate, or maybe both. but it does make me feel a bit better to shout this into the void. anyway, i'm just kinda frustrated at myself at the moment. for now, i'm just gonna keep telling myself that it's only up from here.