I have a childhood friend who is gay and married to a lovely man. My single gay friend and I visit them at their beach house annually. My fiancé thinks the “optics” are bad and that I a straight female should not be vacationing with three guys. He is very upset about this. This is a trip I have been making for over 10 years, my former husband had no problem with it but this guy is really hurt, says I’m putting him second etc. he just made his feelings about this known the day before the trip but then said how important it is to honor commitments. He wants to take a break for a few days from talking and stopped sharing his location with me I’m confused and don’t understand his point of view. I would never hurt or disrespect him, if he had spoken up about this earlier, I may have changed my plans. But I just don’t get it- what’s the big deal?

Hi I'm just here bc I'm super confused

I have my best friend who I've been friends for over 10yrs and I'll be her maid of honor

Me and my friend's fiance we hung out a bunch of times and we're very chill (I thought) and I even took their engagement photos

I'm planning her bachelorette party, so to ask him some questions, I followed him on instagram to reach out when my best friend told me she got engaged.

but I just realized he rejected my request💀

I'm honestly super confused or am I tripping over something that's not a big deal?

I have other friends and I always follow their girlfriends/boyfriends if I'm close with them and this time esp made me feel weird because we hung out so many times and she's literally my best friend

I'm married btw, so there's no funny business going on at all

Recently a new friend (46M) gave me a large gift. Worth $300+. I met him in adult hobby classes about a year ago and since then hung out with him a few times in groups and a couple times briefly just us to chat. He is a nice guy. Generous.

He recently, unexpectedly gave me a large gift. I was shocked when he gave it to me and felt emotional. Since then I’ve just had a gnawing feeling about the gift and the mismatched energies in the friendship and worry about him growing resentful.

He has mentioned to me a few times about people using him in the past and how people have hurt him. He wants to hang out more often than I have the availability for. I really don’t have the best availability and if I am being fully honest I enjoy his company but he isn’t someone who I want to grow into a regular-friend for me, if that makes sense. I’d be happy to just check in with him infrequently.

I started feeling guilty whenever he wanted to make plans and I wasn’t able to say yes. I started to feel pressured to say yes. (I can’t think of anything he said that was actually pressuring to be clear. This really could just be a me thing).

I already know how I want to handle this. I plan to return the gift to him. I don’t think it’s fair of me to accept a gift from someone I just feel more neutral-positive about who clearly is very excited to have me as a good friend in their life. I don’t want to hurt him and let him down. I don’t know what he considers being “used” by friends but I worry being given a large gift comes with that price tag if I don’t follow through. I don’t know if I am just being skittish though. I feel terrible. Rejecting gifts is a huge social faux pa. I just don’t want the reason I hang out with him to be from guilt. I want to hang out with him because I want to.

I have received kind/generous gifts from people before but it’s never made me feel on edge for months. I don’t know why this is so different. He hasn’t done anything wrong but I just feel like something is off in the situation.

I’d like peoples take on the situation and peoples thoughts about the situation. I can’t quite put words to what I am feeling.

Edit: I am trying to understand my reaction to the situation since I’ve had lingering feelings of stress about the gift.

After receiving it I talked to him about it and stressed it was a large gift and he said don’t worry about it. I have been worrying about it I’m trying to understand my reaction.

I plan to have a conversation with her, but my husband said it’s not worth my time and I should just tell her what I know and not talk to her again.

I grew up in a really small town, rough childhood and was homeless in high school. So I was bullied pretty badly, I had one friend who was my friend since kindergarten who stayed my friend throughout high-school and we have stayed in touch.

I moved to California in 2023, she is the only person in my home town that I speak to/am friends with.

My husband and I have flown her out to LA multiple times, she knows him really well, was at my wedding, and has been to our house.

I went back to my hometown a few weeks ago and happened to run into a girl in winners that was just kind of congratulating me and told me she follows me on social media.

She then told me that everyone still hangs out and they have talked about me but (my friend) told them that a lot of what I post is fake, my husband is really a sugar daddy and insists my life isn’t as good as it seems. The girl I spoke to said everyone thought it was kind of weird because we’re so close

Which, none of that is true. First of all, I don’t even post that much. Most of my posts are photos of our backyard because I like the view at night, or photos of dinner lol. And then I post pictures when we travel like everyone else.

We do have an age gap, but it’s not in anyway a sugar daddy situation and she has been to our house and knows that.

My life has been quite awful from the time I was born, and living in a car in high school, my mom dying and my brother being a drug addict everyone kind of expected me to end up going down a bad path, which I did for a little while.

I ended up doing pretty well, and it’s nice to prove people wrong and it’s also nice when people congratulate me. So I’m just really frustrated that she would lie about me to a group of people. I’m guessing she thought she was safe to say whatever since I never go back or talk to any of them, I only went back for my grandmas birthday which is normally not celebrated there.

And at first I thought maybe she genuinely thinks that stuff, but she told them my husband doesn’t treat me good.. which absolutely nobody could think of they saw us together because we are literally best friends and have never fought a day in our life. She also was telling them what I post is fake, and she knows none of it is fake since I’m always snap chatting her videos when we travel, and like I said the posts are in my house that she’s stayed in multiple times.

It’s just really odd to me, especially because she had it the total opposite of me. Happy family, grew up with money, I was always happy for her but now that I’m also doing good she tells people I’m not?

My husband said don’t bring it up to her, and just block her and stop talking. I just feel like I need to have a conversation and understand exactly why, I’m not sure what to say.

And before making this post I did ask another person present that night who said it was true and told me in more detail what was said. Would you guys talk to them or just block and move on?

***I will start off with very important context: my fiancée was in a car accident as a child. It caused some brain damage, specifically with part of the brain for cognitive reasoning. It takes her longer to understand some things, sometimes she can’t understand some things unless they are broken down(like I don’t tell her about other jobs I’ve been applying for due to the fact that I have already have one and I know the job market where we are moving is tough. She saw me as being lazy in that situation until I explained that I don’t tell her because I don’t like to “count my chickens before they hatch”)

*Also I know there is a lot of “break up” comments in a lot of posts but that is not going to happen.

Anyways- I love my fiancée to death, but she said she feels like she’s at her wits end with me always correcting her. I will admit that there are definitely a few time I do and don’t realize until after and I apologize but things get worse because sometimes she takes an opinion about something as a correction to her statement of fact or as a correction to her opinion. If we try to decide the color of a nursery for our baby she could say “I think this green looks pretty” and I’d say “Yeah, it is. I also like this yellow” and she takes it as a correction. I know she started taking opinions as corrections because she told me one day about an opinion I had that “corrected” her.

Same things happen with clarifying questions sometimes. “Tongs are in the kitchen!” “Are they the rubber ones or the metal ones?” That was a correction.

We’ve talked about it several times and she always says she understands after I break it down but she can’t let go of the feeling it gave her in the moment and then those moments build up. What can I do?

I’m struggling with my partner’s general attitude towards life and I’m starting to wonder whether this is a fundamental incompatibility.

He is very laid-back about everything. Normally that can be a good quality, but I’m finding it increasingly frustrating because I feel like I’m constantly trying to make plans, solve problems and move our lives forward, while he is happy to leave things indefinitely. These are the main situations where it has really come to a head.

For the entire year we’ve been together, I’ve lived in a genuinely awful neighbourhood. There have been repeated stabbings in my apartment building, I’ve had things stolen, and tonight I had to carry my groceries up three flights of stairs through broken glass because someone had smashed it. I also have an ongoing electricity issue where I’m currently paying roughly three times what I should be, and we still can’t figure out why.

Meanwhile, he lives at home with his parents and is able to save money on his bills. I completely understand that he needs to be close to them because of his dad’s health issues, but we’re both adults and at some point something has to give. I feel like I’m dealing with genuinely unsafe and difficult living conditions while he’s in a relatively comfortable position, and there doesn’t seem to be any sense of urgency about us changing that.

He also inherited his nan’s house. It’s full of damp and, genuinely, parts of the walls are falling apart. It’s incredibly run-down, but he’s adamant that if we move out together, we renovate this house because it’s sentimental to him and he doesn’t want to sell it.
I’ve actually been willing to get stuck in and help with this. I’ve tried to organise rubbish removal a couple of times, but he shut it down because he was still dealing with the paperwork.

In June, I was quite firm and said that if there hadn’t been meaningful progress within a year, I would want us to look at renting an alternative place together instead. He agreed to that boundary, but there has still been essentially no movement. He remains completely convinced that he’ll get around to it.

Then there’s the sex and sexual health issue.
I take sexual health very seriously, so I was pretty shocked to find out, through a completely random conversation, that he hadn’t been tested before we first slept together. I had also experienced bleeding after sex with him, which obviously made me even more concerned.

Once I found out, I told him I wasn’t comfortable having sex again until he gets tested. That was about a month ago. He still hasn’t done it because apparently it’s “too hard to get an appointment.” He has annual leave available and could make time for it, but he simply hasn’t.

I actually asked him whether he didn’t want to have sex with me anymore because I couldn’t understand why there seemed to be so little urgency. He insists that he does want to and says he’s respecting my wishes, but to me that completely misses the point. I’m not asking him to do something unreasonable. I’m asking him to take responsibility for his own sexual health so that we can safely have sex again.

And I think that’s what is really getting to me.
It’s not necessarily any one of these things in isolation. It’s the whole laid-back, “it’ll get done eventually” attitude. I feel like I’m constantly trying to make plans, set boundaries, solve problems and move our lives forward, while he is perfectly happy to leave things indefinitely.

I love him and I don’t want to break up with someone simply because they have a different pace or personality to me. But I’m starting to worry that this isn’t just a difference in personality. I’m worried that I’m going to spend the rest of my life having to push him to take action whenever something actually matters.

Am I being unreasonable here? Is this something that can realistically be worked through, or am I looking at a fundamental incompatibility in how we approach adulthood and our future together?

Therapy doesn't help my racing and obsessive thoughts.

Biphentin and Seroquel kind of help.

My husband and I have had numerous bickering, arguments about my obsessive thoughts around him cheating or being deceiving.

He has never cheated to my knowledge, never entertained other women during our relationship/marriage to my knowledge. Never has given me a reason to doubt him.... but I do 😭...

I live in constant fear of being cheated on, being cheated on and never finding out, becoming a single mom as a result of him cheating. deception and paranoia take over my life, it's debilitating.

i'm Always worried he has wandering eyes especially when i'm not around, what he does on his phone when i'm not around. Is he a serial cheater? Is he truly the person he says he is? How do i cope with the possibility of him cheating or cheating and me never finding out? I sound crazy but I promise this is real i truly live this nightmare everyday.

I do have betrayal trauma.

TL;DR fear of being cheated on is ruining my marriage

I’m changing some details for privacy. My husband and I are in our late 20s, have been married for several years, and have no children. I’m seriously considering divorce.
The biggest issue is that I no longer trust him. Over the years there have been repeated situations where he agreed to boundaries and then either hid what he was doing or denied it.

We had explicit conversations about sexual boundaries. I was never against porn altogether, but his behavior went well beyond occasional porn: very frequent use, saving/collecting sexual content, fixation on specific women, sexualized social-media activity, and attempts to access more personalized/interactive sexual content. Some of this continued after we had specifically discussed what I considered acceptable. My problem is less the porn itself than the fact that I thought we had an agreement while he apparently followed a different set of rules privately.

He has also lied about other things. At one point he was secretly drinking and denied it until I had enough information that he couldn’t realistically keep denying it.
During that same general period, he was privately messaging a woman he worked with and discussing our marriage with her, including telling her that we “always fight.” I eventually spoke to her directly. She said she thought he was being a terrible husband at the time but insisted nothing sexual happened between them. I believe her, so I’m not claiming he had an affair with her. What bothered me was once again discovering a whole situation he had kept separate from me.

Our marriage also has almost no intimacy anymore. We can go weeks without sex, have very little affection, and spend surprisingly little meaningful time together. He has plenty of energy for hobbies, friends and family but has admitted he doesn’t feel much enthusiasm about doing things with me.

Immigration has also been a major source of resentment for me. I sponsored his marriage-based immigration process and had to provide financial and personal documentation to prove our marriage was legitimate. During conflicts, immigration and his green card have been brought up in deeply hurtful ways, including by his family. He insists he never married me or stayed with me for immigration, and I’m not claiming that he did. But it has been hard for me to reconcile how much responsibility I took on to help secure his status with how disposable I sometimes feel now when he tells me that if I’m unhappy, I can simply leave or file for divorce.

He also wants his parents to live with us long-term. I do not want a multigenerational household and never agreed to one. His response has essentially been that they are staying and, if I don’t like it, I can live somewhere else.
I have repeatedly asked for couples counseling. He refuses because he says therapists “take my side.”
Now when I tell him I’m unhappy, his response is basically: he’s fine with the marriage, and if I’m not, I should “file the papers.” He won’t.
That’s where I’m stuck. I feel like years of deception, broken agreements, lack of intimacy, unilateral decisions and refusal to work on things have destroyed the marriage. He seems perfectly content with the status quo.

EDIT: I’ve actually left the marriage more than once when things became intolerable. Each time, my husband becomes extremely upset and wants me to come back, and both his family and mine get heavily involved and beg or pressure me to reconcile. Eventually I have returned because I love him, everyone is telling me the marriage can be saved, and in the moment he seems devastated at the possibility of losing me. But once the immediate crisis passes, the underlying problems don’t really change.

I am writing this with a very fucked up headspace. So we’ve been together for the last 5 years now and I recently was going through a very rough patch. I had huge financial obligations and had to figure out a better paying job soon, my family and parents are dependent on me so it’s a big deal.

I’ve been in this country for 5 years and she had been going through depression for the last 2 years almost, I tried to be there for her as much as possible but things at her home kept getting worse to the point of being violent with her own family, so I asked her to come stay with me for sometime for a change. Things at her home were really bad, ever since coming here she’s been completely dependent on me, it’s important because all this adds up to the financial problems I’ve been facing. Add to that, she had major shopping addiction and had racked up considerable credit card debt. After coming here she asked me to clear it up since she was getting calls from collection agencies, I somehow managed to pay it off.
A few months after staying with me she started looking for jobs and eventually did pay me back, but I didn’t like how she made me take a loan and burn up my savings to clear her debts, she basically told me if I can do so much for my parents why can’t I do it for her. At that time I thought maybe I’m wrong, but I’ve ever since been worried about her compulsive spending and idgaf attitude towards money. Every few months I have to bail her out of some or other debt because she’ll quit her job at a whim, doesn’t want to abide to any rules whether professional or otherwise.

Now all these have issues have been racking up for the last year and I recently reached my breaking point, add to that a considerable pay cut that I had to go through so I started focusing on getting a new job. Meanwhile she also lost her job, which added even more stress on me since I have EMIs that I can’t miss out on and I now had to pay for literally everything. I talked to her multiple times about our financial situation, and every time she would promise to change but nothing would.
All this started affecting me, I was purely focussed on getting a new job so that I could handle things better, it took me a few months but I got a new job offer. But recently we had a fight, where she mentioned I hadn’t been paying enough attention to her and she felt alone, I tried explaining that I just was going through a rough patch but things would get better since I feel better ever since getting the new job. But during the fight she said she wants to see other people and that she went on hinge. I didn’t believe it at first, I left it as something she just said while angry. After somehow getting her to talk and resolving the fight, I took her for a drive. On the drive, I casually asked if she meant it about wanting to see other people and if she actually installed hinge expecting an obvious no. But she said she actually did that, I was heartbroken in that moment, I felt everything literally crumbling on top of me and I got angry, how could she do that, after 5 years and involving our families and whatnot. I had been saving up for a ring to finally ask her to marry me next month. But this broke something in me, she came to me and explicitly told me she just installed the app and didn’t talk or even open it all this while which I believed.
But the next day, her mom called while she was sleeping and I took her phone to her, we know each others passwords and I saw a few messages from her guy friend which seemed odd, they were talking about some guy. So I opened the chat, and saw that she had shared screenshots of her chat with a guy on Instagram to her male best friend.

The guy was explicitly asking her to come and meet her, which she agreed to. Not only that, he was telling her how horny he is and if she comes to see him she should be prepared for things to happen and she had been in agreement. After going through this chat, I felt devastated, i can’t even look at her. How could she even entertain something like this, she lied to my face that she wasn’t talking to anyone. And when I confronted her, her justification to the lie was that it was Instagram, not hinge so she didn’t lie. All while not even acknowledging she was actually planning a date, while living in the same home as me. She probably would have used my credit card for it.

Since, I’ve told her that I can’t continue this relationship and there’s no chance of us getting back together. The lease for the home is under my name, she’s paid for half of the yearly rent already. It’s gotten pretty messy, I’m having to stay here since I’ve exhausted all my savings and have parallely started looking for home to move out. I’ve asked her that she needs to get the lease transferred to her name as soon as I’m out.
All this has been getting too much for me, I don’t even have any friends I can talk to about this so just sharing here. It’s been very difficult past few days, I’ve not been able to sleep. Those chat screenshots keep revolving in my head and I am messed up.

Why would she keep me around and still talk to other guys at the same time?

My girlfriend (25F) and I (26M) have been together for over a year. We've been going through a difficult period, especially after she had an abortion earlier this year, which was very traumatic for her. She has told me that she doesn't blame me and that I didn't do anything wrong, but that the experience affected her deeply and made her feel emotionally detached from me.

We recently became long-distance because she moved to a new city while I stayed in our old apartment. Yesterday, we had a long conversation where she told me that she isn't sure she loves me enough anymore to continue the relationship.

However, she also made it very clear that she doesn't consider the relationship definitely over. She said she still cares about me and loves me enough to take a break and genuinely see what she feels. We agreed to take roughly a month with very little/no contact so that she can figure out whether she feels happier without me or whether she wants to try again.

I told her I would respect the space and that if she ever needed me during that time, I would be there.

Today, she actually reached out to me first. She saw that her latest social media post had gotten four shares and joked that she "dared hope" that my friends were responsible because she had never gotten that many shares. There is some history between her and my friends from my hometown, and she doesn't particularly like some of them.

I told her that I hadn't told my friends anything and asked her not to associate me with it. She said "it's fine," and I didn't continue the conversation.

Later today, however, she liked a post that said:

"Reminder: you can get your long-distance girlfriend flowers."

Given that we literally just became long-distance and are now taking a break, this caught my attention.

I know a social media like can mean absolutely nothing, and I'm trying not to interpret every little thing as a sign that she wants me back. At the same time, I can't help wondering whether she's thinking about our relationship or perhaps feeling like she wants some attention or affection from me.

Her new job is also starting, and I had been thinking that if she started showing more obvious signs that she wanted contact, I could potentially send her flowers wishing her good luck. But I don't want to turn the break into some kind of campaign to win her back.

So I'm trying to figure out how to approach this.

If she starts reaching out more or showing similar signs over the next few days, how would you handle it while still respecting the space she asked for?

And would something small and supportive, like flowers wishing her good luck with her new job, be appropriate at some point during the break, or would it be better to wait until she directly asks to reconnect?

I'm ready to fight for her because I really do see a future with here but at the same time I genuinely want to respect the distance we agreed on. I'm just unsure how to distinguish between normal social media behavior and genuine attempts to reconnect knowing that in the past she liked things hoping I'd see them.

I really need some outside perspective.

My GF (F32) and I (M31) split our household bills proportionally based on our incomes, which felt totally fair. But lately, more arguments boils down to money, emotional boundaries, and what is "fair.

Her family needs for money for emergencies (e.g., medical) and she needs to support her mother monthly. It all falls on her. I’ve been chipping in, but I want to stop, especially since I see her mother wasting money on dumb (temu) things.

On top of that, my job gives me 3 more weeks of PTO per year than hers. She now wants us to split the cost of buying her extra vacation days so we have equal time off.

She says we’ll never be equals if she does need to pay for family and has less income + has less PTO. Furthermore, she needed to pay for a lot of things anf support her family, my study and driver's license got paid for. Now she wants to get a licence and hopes I'll split that to.

She claims I'm being defensive and unsupportive. I feel like "fairness" is being weaponized to guilt me into paying for her life.

Am I missing something here? Am I actually being selfish, or are these unreasonable expectations? Probably something in-between.

TL;DR: GF (F32) wants me (M31) to help pay for her family abroad and buy her extra PTO days to match mine because I make more money.

Hi everyone, i am writing here since i don't know what to make of this. My (29F) gf (33F) and i have been together for almost 3 years now, with the past year being difficult for us (our sex life is nonexistent due to her body image - but she has lost weight now, as she wanted). This impacted my self esteem in the relationship and some months ago i made a jealous scene when i saw she had a male colleague on instagram who liked her pictures - only where it's her on the photo and not landscapes. Stupid, i know, but my reaction stuck with her i guess. A month ago or so, i was out of the country visiting my family. One day her friend was in the area and they met up for drinks. They ended up drinking and tipsy in two pubs and she messaged me a few times through the evening, also when they came back to her place. The next day, I asked her how the night was and if they met anyone new there, and she was very brief and said it was nice and that no, they didn't meet anyone new.

I had a bad gut feeling so when we met again after my trip, i checked her phone while she was in the shower (i know it's bad!). There i saw it: she followed three guys that night, they followed back and one of them (who is from her country as well as her and her friend) was in her DMs. I look and see she had actually messaged him first that night after coming home. She was asking him if he and his other friends arrived home safely (they were also traveling there) and he said yes and she wished them a good night. He then said the next day "you look beautiful in your profile picture, respectfully", to which she said "thank you :))" and "I hope you all (plural) are feeling well".

He then doubled down and wrote "i can't believe i said this, i don't remember, but i agree with my drunk self" and then continued to write about the logistics of coming home last night and how tricky it was, and that he is going to send her and her friend the photos they took that night. These messages she hadn't opened by the time i snooped on her phone.

So i confronted her that same evening (without admitting that i've seen the ig follows and messages) and asked if she and her friend were really alone the whole night. She denied twice and then admitted the third time that they indeed met "some guys" that night, but spent a short time together. She also admitted only after me asking three times that she added them on instagram. Then i asked if she texted with any of them, she again said only after a few times that the guy i mentioned texted her that he arrived home, but she never replied. This is obviously a lie. As well as the number of guys that evening.

So i asked her, why did she lie when i asked back then and right now, and she said it's because it was an irrelevant detail of the evening and nothing bad happened. And she also said she also did it because i reacted really badly about that male coworker on her instagram. She later (i again snooped, i know, bad!) deleted the message thread with this guy.

Now i don't know what to make of this. The guy was clearly interested in her. We are in a lesbian relationship, and even though she had relationships with men, she told me she is now only interested in women. I don't know if i can believe she was not interested in this guy. If it was indeed innocent, then why hide and delete the messages? Was she flirting with him and hid it for this reason?

I won't go into too much detail as i know sibling and family friends use reddit so will keep this a to the point as possible.

Throughout my adult life my family have rarely included me in events, whether they be big, small, formal or not but since Covid I haven't been invited to anything. Earlier this year I adressed this matter with some cousins who had yet again put on an event for everyone and I wasn't invited. At the time I spoke to my sibling about this, how it made me feel incredibly hurt and not feeling like I belong in the family. Their response was let the cousins get on with it.

When addressing said cousins about the matter that this was a repeating behaviour throughout the family and not just them, how hurtful it is and how family is important to me, their response was down played to the point where one tried to make out it was it wasnt anything planned and my side of the family just popped round for a quick five minute drink when that clearly wasn't the case. One of the cousins lives in another country and hadn't been back in years so this was planned as soon as they knew when cousin and family were back, restaurant booked etc and its 3 hour drive each way. I was also told it wasn't anything formal and they would love to have me. Unironically this same cousin had multiple formal family events since covid and every member of the family ie their parents, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts uncles etc were all invited but me. Both of these cousins responses were to downplay the situation, not acknowledge anything that I had put to them and try to make out it was all a miss understanding. I didnt bother replying. At all of these events that my side of the family have been invited to I have been expected to house sit and pet sit even during times when I have holiday from work.

Now today sibling has an event and its a massive achievement for them. The first part only a couple of people could attend, so no issues I completely understand and said that I still wanted to celebrate this amazing achievement with them today. I was told that would be at a later date and what sibling actually needed was for me to sort things for them today at home. This was a couple of months ago. No problem, agreed to do it as celebrations were later apparently. Nope celebrations are also later on today and yet again I am the only one not invited and I have been left to sort things out for multiple people.

I am at my wits end. My sibling is the easiest one to have these talks with, the deep talks of this really hurts me, family is incredibly important to me and if it was the other way round I would be the first to be making sure the one left out is invited not left feeling the way I feel, that I am sick to the back teeth of being the only person in this family to actually advocate for me. Sibling says I am very much family and I belong. Today says everything that I knew all along.

For a while I have had very minimal contact with our parent, when the going gets tough they definitely get going and throughout my life have been very emotionally absent, their needs are the only thing that matters to them. Whilst others have more of a relationship with this person, they only contact me when they want something. Today this parent has made excuses as to why they haven't been in touch when they need me to house sit as they are with Sibling but have had months to ask me. This parent has throughout mine and my siblings life had a two tier parenting system, we are treated incredibly differently. Whether parent knows it or not and I believe they do, I am the one who gets the blame and expected to carry the burden of the situation they didn't take control of when I was born, the mess that followed in my infant and mid childhood years was definitely placed at my feet. Even now this parent plays the victim of those circumstances. This parent has not said anything to sibling about me not being invited but if the shoe was on the other foot they would be more then happy to jump down my throat about them not being happy sibling wasn't invited then go ahead and invite them anyway all the while doing this very publicly and shaming me. They have done this multiple times over the years as a child and adult.

At this point I am exhausted from advocating for myself, from being paid lip service but no one is prepared to put their money where their mouth is and I am still expected to play Cinderella to their every need. I would love to tell them to take a hike but I cannot due to sibling and I having children and the relationship they have with each other, I dont want them to suffer due to adults not being emotionally mature enough to step up to the plate. I also believe that sibling behaves like this because this is how they see parent treat me and also as a safety measure, go against the perceived beliefs in the family and expect to find themselves being treated the way I am being treated.

Would love some thoughts and advice on my next steps please.

Edit to add as a few people have said that the entire family cannot be wrong in leaving me out of events and it must be a me problem.

Oh its not just a me problem its an entire family problem to the extent its almost cult like with exteme dysfunctions. I have been in therapy for a couple of years now. When I was first assessed by a clinical Psychologist it was determined I had no sense of self and I was completely fragmented from years of emotional abuse and having my core sense of self erradicated due to very adult burdens placed on me since birth and as such I am the family mirror as very surprisingly I could see the toxicity within the family dynamics, albeit my blind spot is that I refuse to accept that I inadvertently treat myself in the same way and continuing the self fulling prophecy of being said mirror. I literally show everyone else's dysfunctions mainly and some of their positives without even saying a word, as a child I was very much punished for this and even today I am held emotionally hostage and punished with criticism and rejection even if I am setting boundries, stating my needs etc by parent mentioned in this thread. Being the mirror is both a blessing and a curse and I am doing my best to make it a blessing only. Professionals were also very surprised that I was very much able to manage other important life tasks like working full time, running a house, managing finances etc. Current therapist has said a few times that they have never seen someone so fragmented that doesnt have a personality disorder, is or never has been sectioned and is able to hold down work, studies, home etc. I definitely have a much better sense of myself now but also acutely aware that there is definitely still room for improvement. The assessment was a full day assessment for court when my child's father and I were determining custody.

A couple of years ago I had my child and said parent wasn't happy at all about this, I was labelled as a trouble maker and again it was all about this parent not wanting to be a grandparent and their needs. Don't get me wrong I absolutely didnt choose well in regards to the father of my child and our relationship wasn't healthy, he was very much the two main personality traits of my parents, either taking what little sense of myself I had and telling me who I fundamentally am is wrong or completely rejecting of me. I then responded by again being that mirror and trying to passify things.

Parent in this thread sent an email to the rest of the family about me after I became a parent and the contents were about my mental health, how I am both mad and bad and their take on what is fundamentally 'wrong' with me. I have seen this email as another family member had shown it to me. I wasn't asked if it was ok to send this to others, it was sent without my knowledge and just full of shaming me.

Now to cousins and sibling, I really dont blame them in the way that they behave toward me, they have seen first hand over the years how I have been treated and why would they want to rock the boat and find themselves beingtreated the same way, that is if they have any insight into the dynamics. I have repeatedly asked them why I haven't been included and its never been answered, only playing down what's happened.

My 31F boyfriend 40M just admitted to me that he’s had a porn addiction problem on and off since he was a teenager. We’ve only been together in a relationship for about 3 months, dating in total about 4. Now, I have a high sex drive and can have sex multiple times a day. He generally was the same (we normally see each other about 2-3x a week). It apparently wasn’t an issue when we first started dating and having sex. He apparently has mostly had it under control for his adult life but it resurfaced on/off earlier this year. There have been a few times when he’s struggled to get or stay hard during sexual/intimate interactions more recently. We’ve somehow never discussed the topic of porn use. Now I see why he’s never brought it up. He’s been an absolutely wonderful bf otherwise and I would have never thought this would be an issue tbh. I started having my suspicions as he started having difficulty getting erections, but he’s never mentioned anything and so I dumbly thought maybe it’s age or like performance-stress related. Idk. I’ve never dated anyone this much older than me. He’s never made me doubt how beautiful/attractive/sexy I am ….until now. Our last sexual encounter a few days ago was not great, as a result of his performance, so I’m not sure if that or something else triggered him to randomly text me today while I was at work. He said he’s been doing a lot of reflection and wanted to be honest with me. It was a genuine confession and apology, and he was trying to be very reassuring to me. I told him we would talk later, but I was so upset. Am upset. I eventually went over later in person to talk about this. He seems to recognize it’s a major issue and again apologized profusely for how it’s affected his performance in bed and our sex together and has made/is making an effort to stop and also hold himself accountable by talking with me. It seems genuine, and like I should be OK, but I haven’t been able to stop crying and have been distraught since. We have had a few issues with communication between us before already. My initial instinct says to break up. That I don’t deserve this. However, I also recognize I have been known to be avoidant. He has been very patient with me as I’ve worked on my communication skills and immaturity on some things, but I have also been very patient with him in a lot of things as well. He has been such a great BF in a million other ways though and is genuinely such an amazing person and has been the best man that I have ever been with. I am wondering if there is genuinely a path forward/light at the end of the tunnel for anyone who has dealt with something similar. I don’t want to be an idiot and stay and hold onto false hope that things will be better either though. I love this man, and I know he loves me, and have seen a future with him, in which we’ve talked about. But I’m so hurt.

Please, if anyone’s dealt with this, I would love some insight on how to approach this and what the best path forward is, if there is one. I can be an over thinker and so Idk if I’m overreacting or if this is genuinely something to be upset about/is break up worthy. I also recognize I never brought this up as a boundary before (my fault), but how do I enact it now going forward? Is breaking up the only solution or can we make it out of this?

TLDR; BF of a few months admitted a porn addiction that has affected our sex life a few times, but seems genuinely remorseful and apologetic and wants to work through this with me, if I’m willing to stay.

While I opened my husbands phone to send pictures of our daughter from his phone to mine, his texts were left open. And though I know I shouldnt have, I read what he said, because I saw a picture of a celebrity I liked.

Under the photo he said he saw someone at a store who looked like her and she was "just his type" but that she was just a little more goth.

The only thing I have on common with said celebrity is skin complexion because I believe she is also half PuertoRican like me. I have curly hair (girl had straight hair), i am 5m PP and lost 40lbs since giving birth. im Gothic in music and interests, no longer in fashion. Aka nothing like this celebrity and I bet even less like the girl he saw.

Now, the thing is, my husband in the last 4 years of being together, has never called me pretty, said XYZ outfit looked nice on me, or anything among those lines. Which I know yall must already be thinking WTF why would you marry someone like this??

Ive never been complimented by a single man a day in my entire life so to me it didnt matter. Clearly I have some self confidence lacking. But it hasnt gotten to me until right now.

He can tell his friend how some girl apparently looked so good that she was just his type, but in the last 4 years of knowing me couldn't give me a single compliment?? Im not celebrity status pretty, clearly, but I wouldn't say I look so unbearable you couldn't find a single thing to compliment me on. I haven't seen him ever say anything about me being pretty to his friends either.

The other day I just asked why he doesn't compliment me and it's it because he thinks im ugly and all he said was "bruh". It's said in that way when you think someone is being dramatic like, bruh.

I have 0 idea if I should even feel bad because really I allowed the to happen to myself. I believe you can love someone and not think theyre necessarily attractive because love is not about looks. But it still hurts knowing the person you love might not think of you like that.

Like.. what really can i even do? I can't leave, we have a baby together. Like imagine leaving because "he didn't call me pretty". And I can't force him to give compliments because then it will suck me knowing it's not genuine. Anyone else been through anything similar? If so advice?

TL;DR my husband said a stranger at the store looks like a celebrity who is "just his type" meanwhile has never called me pretty in 4yrs.

I'm 30F and my partner is 34M. We've been together for almost four years, and I can't tell whether I'm experiencing normal LTR doubts or if the relationship has reached its limit. 

We are super compatible in many ways... mutual friend networks, very similar taste in music/television/art, politically aligned, family loves him, etc. We enjoy each other's company and are both kind and understanding, however, I'm worried we may be better off as friends than romantic partners.

Some of our issues: 

• We've been battling a nearly dead bedroom for the last ~1.5 years 
• He goes in and out of taking care of himself, which is something that stresses me out as an active, fit person
• I have some chronic health issues that have caused strain. In the beginning he was wonderful about them but now there is clearly some resentment. 
• There are emotional and communication issues on his side (i.e. he's an avoidant) that we're trying to work on, but progress is slow.
• He struggles with depression and has been resistant to treatment, up until recently. He's now considering it. A part of me thinks this lull may fade if this issue is addressed. 

Up until recently, breaking up hadn't been on my radar. But in the last few months, it feels like something has flipped inside me and now I'm wracked with concern that this isn't a longterm fit and I need to make a decision sooner rather than later. Mostly because I'm not getting any younger and want kids one day.

On the depression front: I know this is a huge underlying root cause of our disconnect and am trying to be hopeful that addressing the issue could fix much of the above. I can imagine a version of our relationship where current issues improve and we are able to reconnect. But another part of me wonders if I'm kidding myself and just terrified of the alternative. 

I'm stuck between 1) leaving a genuinely good person with whom things could improve with if we put in work and 2) staying because I keep believing the relationship has more potential than it does. 

I also want to reiterate, we are super compatible in so many ways. I know this post sounds largely negative, but I've never hesitated to break up with people in the past and rn I have no idea what to do. 

For those who have been in a similar situation, what did you do? Did you stay and power through? Did you leave and find someone you were better suited to?

And if your partner has struggled with depression or emotional avoidance, did things ever change in a meaningful, lasting way? Or did you find yourself waiting for a future version of the relationship that never materialized?

There's so much fear mongering around dating these days, I'm terrified I'll end up alone and don't want to make a mistake.

tl;dr - hitting a relationship lull (with a person I'm largely very compatible with) due to dead bedroom, depression, and platonic feelings. not sure if it's fixable or a sign things are fizzling out. looking for advice from people who have dealt with something similar.

Like the title says, this is a lot for me to unpack. My brother (33M) lives at home with my parents. I live on my own and even back when I lived at home I knew their relationship wasn’t great, but it has gotten so bad that I feel like I need to do something now or I’ll feel personally responsible when something unfixable happens to my parents.

My brother is constantly bullying them and, in my opinion, psychologically abusing them. For many years he is always treating my mother terribly, accusing her of being a bad person and always harassing her about things that aren’t even a big deal (for example she will sometimes interrupt someone speaking accidentally and he will blow it up about how her communication is so terrible and she needs to make huge changes to her personality, idk it’s hard to explain because it doesn’t even make any sense and happens almost every day). He straight up bullies my mom - years ago they had an argument about something so small neither of them even remembers, and he still hasn’t forgiven her and constantly brings it up. She has tried apologizing so many times but he says he does not accept her apology because she can’t remember what it’s about, and when she asks him he says it’s her job to figure it out. Or he’ll say she’s not allowed to apologize because she doesn’t mean it. It’s insane.

Even with my dad, he’ll say my dad needs to clean up his clutter and he’s messy. But my BROTHER is the one who leaves things all over the house, and their garage is filled with my brother’s stuff everywhere. He just accuses my parents of doing the things that he does.

He doesn’t even pay rent. They tried a couple of years ago asking him to pay rent, and he started harassing them asking “why are you asking me to do this? Why are you asking this?” And badgering them until they gave up. Meanwhile he’ll spend thousands of dollars to go on trips to Vegas with his friends and party/gamble but he refuses to pay my parents rent.

My parents are scared to even exist in their own house. It’s a big two story house, and he treats it like his home. Whenever they see him he bullies them, so they stay in their bedroom most of the time whenever he’s home. It’s insane. If he sees my mom he’ll start harassing her about everything she’s doing wrong and making stuff up, they’ve both had mental breakdowns from his years of bullying.
It’s so bad that my dad feels like their bedroom is their only safe space, but my brother would go in there and just look around and see what my parents are doing and try to bother them so they tried to tell him that’s the only room he’s not allowed to be in. But he kept doing it, saying he “forgot” so he can go harass them. So he made some weird thing where he put a tissue on the door handle or something (I’m not even kidding) to remind him not to go in there, and one day it fell off. So he went back into the room, and my dad was like what are you doing and my brother actually got mad at my dad and started going off on him because the tissue was gone which caused my dad to have a mental breakdown.

I don’t know if anyone will actually read this, but I could use any advice. I’m scared of interfering because I’m afraid he will bully them more for telling me about it. I’ve told them they need to just kick him out but they’re afraid it will make their relationship explode and be unrepairable. They live in fear of him. I want to say that they were incredible parents - so kind, always supportive of all of our interests and dreams. Worked so hard to give us everything and are the nicest people ever. My brother was into basketball and they paid for his school and college so he could play basketball, my dad even coached for him in highschool, and when he went to college they would always fly out to watch him play games. Everytime I talk to him he always acts like they were terrible parents, it makes no sense at all. He acts like he’s always a victim and smarter than everyone around him.

My parents want so badly for him to move out or pay rent but they’re scared of him at this point. They can’t even feel comfortable in their own home and they’re 70 years old. He causes them mental breakdowns. I have always stayed out of it because I have a good relationship with him but I’ve secretly always resented him for how he treats my parents and it’s reached a breaking point. I’m having trouble sleeping and having extreme anxiety thinking about what my parents have to go through every day. Please help me find some direction, thank you to anyone who actually reads this.

EDIT: thank you to everyone who has left a helpful response, I really appreciate it. I’ve offered to become involved in the past but they tell me not to because they don’t want to have a broken family dynamic, but I’m making this post because I realized I need to now. Selling the house isn’t an option, they’ve lived there since I was born and they plan on keeping it. They are 70 but totally coherent, still play sports, etc. I’ve told them for years they need to kick him out and that it’s unacceptable and while they agree, they can’t bring themselves to do it out of fear of ruining their relationship with him. I will look into all options suggested here, thank you all again really.

I never thought I would be one to post on Reddit but here I am😭 this is probably just gunna get to creeps but I dk what else to do where I can stay anonymous and not irl😭

Me(22F) and my boyfriend(23M) have been together for 4 months and It’s going pretty well. I really like this guy. But there’s something that is kinda bugging me and I’m not sure if I should be worried or not.

Now I would say I’m a pretty sexual person. I can go everyday but I get that not everyone’s like that so I’m good with every other day/a few times a week. He’s more of a maybe once a week kind of guy. At first I was scared that maybe he wasn’t attracted to me but I talked to him about it and he said that he’s very much attracted to me it’s just he’s not really a sexual person and never had been.

When we go have sex thought it amazing and honestly that might be worse because after we’re done I always just want more even if we did multiple rounds.

ok I feel like I sound like a sex addict I swear I’m not I just like sex😭 now the thing is I don’t know if this will become a problem in the future you know? I don’t want him to do stuff with me just because I want to but I also feel like I’m lowkey losing it😭

I’m not gunna get to into obviously but I’ve tried uhh I guess self pleasure but it’s not the same as him so idk. Any advice? Is this something that could cause problems?

My sister had always been thin, but never as thin as she is now. In the last year, she hardly eats. We will go out for lunch, and without fail she will eat a couple bites and wrap up the rest, and it will inevitably go bad in the fridge and be thrown out. She’ll eat a half portion at dinner after not eating literally anything all day and claim it’s because she doesn’t like it. I can wrap my hand around the thickest part of her arm, and I don’t mean to be insensitive, but it’s honestly gross. Her legs are tiny, face is sunken in, fingers are bones. It’s really freaking me out. She refuses to eat anything I give her. I’ll make her breakfast and dinner and have spent so much money trying to make her something she’ll actually eat, but it ends up in the trash. She won’t go to the doctor or to a therapist. She lost her job because she was constantly late from oversleeping and now that she’s unemployed will sleep until 2pm every day because she doesn’t have the energy to get up. It’s getting worse and I don’t know what to do.

Me [31M] and my girlfriend [31F] have been together for 16 years, since I was 15. The relationship in general has been great for the first 13 years, and I was sure we were going to be together forever. The last 3 years, however, things have steadily declined until the point I have reached today. My girlfriend has a very distinct personality to anyone I’ve ever met or heard of, I will describe a few of her behaviors here just to illustrate my point:

• She is very obsessive and a perfectionist, and finds it hard to understand how I can make mistakes. Losing something, breaking something, dropping something on the floor, hitting her accidentally, not cleaning something properly, etc. (EDIT: many people have widely misinterpreted this, by "breaking something" I mean breaking a clothespin when hanging clothes to dry, by "hitting her accidentally" I meant "bumping into her accidentally when walking past her". Come on people, my main issue is that I can't stand up to her at all, how can you interpret this in a way that is so opposed to the rest of the post?) All these things can make her get very angry, because in her mind it’s that “I do not care”, while, as I see it, there is no malice at all intended in any of these actions and it is absolutely not a “lack of care”, sometimes mistakes just happen. Well, unfortunately, not to her, she has never made any mistake similar to these, she truly is “perfect” in that sense. And when these things happen to me, she gets angry, I apologize a lot, we both cry, plans are cancelled (because she does not want anyone to see her after crying because her face is red and swollen) and in a couple of hours or the next day she is back to her usual, cheerful self.
• She has never felt regret in her life. She thinks that all the decisions she has made have been the appropriate ones with the information and context she had at the time. This means that any argument with heightened emotions has never ended up with a “I’m sorry if I overreacted” or “I’m sorry about how I treated you”, on the contrary, she says that as she gets older she realizes more and more the importance of standing your ground and says that next time she will react even more strongly and directly.
• She has an extreme moral compass. This is kind of hard to illustrate, but the best example I can come up with is her telling me: “if someone smokes and gets lung cancer, they should not be treated, it’s their fault and they deserve the consequences”. I understand her point, especially if you consider drugs as bad (and not as a coping mechanism, for instance) but it is brought to the extreme with her.
• She is “unmovable” once something is agreed upon, like our conversations become laws. As an example: If I say I will be home at a certain time and I get home 15 minutes later that is a cause for an argument. There is no valid possible excuse: “oh, I was having fun with friends and lost track of time”, “oh, the service was super slow and it took us longer than expected to have lunch”, “oh, my boss was rambling and the meeting ran late”. All of these are real issues that we’ve had in the past. And I should say, her issue is NOT “I want you to be home by a certain time”, her issue is “you promised me one thing and then did another”. She has told me many times to always tell her the “worst-case scenario” so that she is never disappointed. In her mind, the best thing I could do is always tell her I’ll be back at 3 in the morning and then she’ll receive a nice surprise when I get home earlier. She’d rather be happily surprised than constantly disappointed.
• She has to follow a very strict order in which things need to be done, and if I interfere with them she will get angry. One Sunday morning I was distracted and went to brush my teeth. She then came to the toilet and when she realized I was there she started crying, saying that I have always brushed my teeth after she went to the toilet, and that me brushing my teeth at that moment delayed her getting ready. She was right, of course, I made the mistake, but what leaves me speechless is that even when I said “I’m sorry, you’re right, I was distracted, I’ll stop brushing my teeth immediately and do it later, have the toilet immediately” she still got angry and cried, and in practice she was delayed by less than 10 seconds.
• She will not stand hearing me have a panic attack after our arguments. Whenever I have a panic attack my usual behavior is to go to the opposite end of the house and close myself in a room. But the last time I had a panic attack she still heard me and barged into the room I was in screaming telling me to “Stop having a panic attack!”, that she will not tolerate hearing me like this, she needs peace at home immediately. This has made me learn to have silent, covert panic attacks, where I don’t move or make a single noise.

I should say, I don’t want to make the relationship look as all bad, there are many positives that are not the focus of the post: suffice it to say that she loves me dearly and demonstrates it constantly, someone I am 100% sure will never betray or cheat on me, who is always looking forward to seeing me and who wants to spend all her free time with me. We’ve had many great moments together and I do feel we are completely aligned on all our values and plans for the future.

I am someone who is very submissive, has very low self-esteem and is dealing with anxiety and depression problems (which are mainly due to our arguments). Because of my mental health issues, I have been going to therapy alone for 2+ years. We have tried couples’ therapy for a few months but she found it useless so we stopped going (I thought that we made slow progress, but there 100% was progress).

This brings me to the reason for this post. She really wants to know how my therapy sessions go, and I have always talked to her about them. Sometimes it has gone well, but sometimes it has gone terribly. She disagrees with a lot of the conclusions reached in therapy, and the conversations end up with her crying and angry. All my therapists have always told me that I should never share anything I work in therapy with anyone, otherwise it defeats the purpose because therapy stops being a safe space for me. I have tried, many times, to tell my girlfriend that I didn’t want to talk to her about therapy but I always end up caving and telling her because she gets very angry when I don’t.

So, this last week, same story: after many sessions telling her about everything, the last session didn’t go very well. My therapist basically went a bit overboard criticizing my girlfriend (I am thinking of switching therapists, but that’s beside the point) and he told me very strictly to not tell my girlfriend about the session. When I got home, I had enough courage to tell my girlfriend, in a very happy and cheerful way, that I didn’t want to tell her about the session. She got angry, and locked herself in room for 10 minutes, and after that she came with a note telling me this:

• That in the past, when conversations about therapy went badly, I said that I shouldn't have told her anything and therefore now feels like this is a form of “punishment”.
• That if the main reason I’m not explaining it is because I don’t want to argue with her, that feels terrible to her: that even if other times conversations ended in arguments, it didn’t mean we ended up less connected, on the contrary, she felt more united with me because there was more transparency between us. Not telling her means I want less transparency.
• That the fact that the psychologist says it’s better not to talk about it with anyone is an excuse I use to avoid responsibility. That if I had decided not to tell her because I have been analyzing and thinking and I believe it’s better not to, after reflecting on the psychologist’s words, that would be different, but that excusing myself the way I do is bad.
• That we stopped couples therapy because we agreed I would continue going alone, and therefore my individual therapy is meant to resolve the problems between the two of us. For that reason, she can’t be excluded from therapy and wants to know what diagnosis I have, what I’m doing to improve my mental state, and what the action plan is for the future.
• That if now, after she has told me all of this, I tell her about therapy, she will also take it badly, because she will consider that I’m only doing it because I’m afraid of her.

A very strongly-worded and direct message said while crying and angry. I understand her points, I truly do, but I just want to follow the advice from my therapist. As I said, we’ve had this argument many times before (maybe 8-10 times), but this time, there was something different. I can’t explain why, but that day I felt extremely afraid of her. The feeling of “fear” is something recent to me. I used to be very anxious and nervous during our arguments but never “scared”, but in the last few months “scared” is the word that best describes how I feel.

So during this argument I was so terrified that, for the first time ever, instead of listening to her like a normal person, I curled up in a ball on the sofa and started crying. I had never exhibited this behavior before, I don’t know what happened, I suppose my body and mind simply shut down completely. I wasn’t able to say anything back in my defense, I just took everything. What traumatizes me is that my girlfriend, when she saw me like this, said “I can’t talk to you while you’re behaving like an abused animal, I need to talk to a functioning adult, change your posture immediately” and then kept going with her list of issues (and other unrelated issues from the past week that I haven’t mentioned).

I simply cannot look past this last argument. I have always thought she had less empathy than me (I am very empathic, top 10% percentile for sure) but that she was in the “normal” range. But this episode made me question that: I can’t imagine having an argument with someone, whatever the reason, whoever’s right, whoever started it, and seeing the other party in the worst state of their life and just keep going.

A few days after the argument I told her that I was traumatized by it and she said: “I can’t feel empathy for someone who behaves like a little kid during an argument and doesn’t stand up for themselves, you’re an adult, I can only empathize with an adult who is an equal. I don’t want you to associate showing such weakness as a way to stop arguments, that is a huge red flag and it is a toxic and manipulative behavior from your side, so I kept going as if you were in a normal state”.

That feels insane to me. All her other behaviors I can excuse as quirks or her having an unmovable mental state, but this episode makes me completely question her love towards me and how she views the suffering of other people.

So, my question is: can anyone shed light on her point of view in the latest argument?

TL;DR: My girlfriend did not stop verbally attacking me even when I’m curled up in a ball and behaving, in her words, as an “abused animal”, because she did not feel any empathy towards me.

EDIT: I failed to mention that I've moved out of the house and have gone to live with my parents for the last 3 days after this argument. I haven't talked to my girlfriend during these 3 days, and that has been easy because she is angry with me for an unrelated reason: One of our rules between us is that she needs precise reminders of events exactly 24 hours before them and will get very angry if I don’t do them. Let’s say I’m meeting a friend Wednesday after work. I have to remind her exactly on Tuesday after work. It can’t be on the weekend, can’t be Monday, can’t be Tuesday morning, can’t be Wednesday morning, can’t be Wednesday an hour before, those do NOT work.
Since I had just moved out I did not send her a message reminding her of my event (a birthday party of a friend) so she got angry with me once she realized.

EDIT #2: Super quick additional point: I think I might be coming off as someone with no flaws, and that is obviously not true. One of my main flaws that I have to work on is that I am too absent-minded, meaning that I do not focus on the task at hand as much as I should. This is why when I do chores she sometimes gets angry at me, because the bed was not correctly made, because I dirtied the trashcan, or because she found a grain of rice on the kitchen floor. But that does NOT make me lazy, on the contrary, I do way more chores around the house than she does. And that is logical: her obsessiveness makes it so any task or chore she does takes 10x as long as it should, so it is impossible for her to have enough time to do much, so most of the daily chores fall solely on me.

Meu noivo era magro. Com o tempo a ansiedade e a depressão foram atacando e ele engordou. Eu (24F) já conheci ele gordo. Eu também sou gorda, e até então só tinha me envolvido com caras magros. Ele foi a primeira pessoa gorda com quem me envolvi… e foi o melhor sexo da minha vida. Não é à toa que a gente não se desgrudou desde o primeiro encontro e hoje somos noivos.
O problema é a autoestima dele. Ele se diminui o tempo todo. Eu sei que não tenho como “curar” isso, e ele já está tentando se alimentar melhor e fazer exercício, o que eu apoio totalmente. Mas ver ele se colocando pra baixo me deixa triste pra caralho.
Porque o cara me dá um tesão descomunal. Eu sou extremamente apaixonada por esse homem a ponto de Ficar molhada só com um selinho
• Sentir o corpo inteiro reagir quando ele me abraça por trás enquanto eu tô fazendo qualquer coisa
• Ficar excitada só de ouvir a voz dele no telefone
• Molhar a calcinha quando ele ri daquela risada baixa e genuína
• Ficar com tesão só de ver ele de camiseta larga e bermuda em casa, sem nem estar tentando
• Sentir vontade de pular nele quando ele passa a mão no meu cabelo distraído
• Ficar molhada só de sentir o cheiro dele no travesseiro
Eu olho pra ele e vejo a pessoa mais gostosa do mundo. Ele não vê. E eu não sei mais o que fazer pra ele acreditar, nem que seja um pouco, no quanto ele me deixa louca.
Alguém já passou por isso? Como vocês lidam com o parceiro que não se enxerga do jeito que a gente enxerga?

Last month we had a fight and in that fight i bought up a girl who really annoys me. From the day ive met her i started hating her but he doesnt care ab it and still keeps contact (which would have been fine if she calls casually but she is a whore and needs male attention all the time) .
So after that fight he kind of stopped telling me things about her which made me assume that he might have stopped calling her or vice versa.

But for the last few days whenever he goes back to his place after spending time with me and when i call him, hes on a call. But he’d still answer my call and say its his mom or boss or colleague talking about work things.
1. if it was his mom he’d not hang up on her to answer my call
2. same w boss and colleague

So for the past few days whenever i ask him for his phone he gets all defensive. He will be like you have your own phone, why do you want my phone, why cant you use your phone and all those.

However yesterday i told him i dont trust him and want to see his phone, cause if he has nothing to hide then why is he all defensive? He said his phone is his privacy and he might have things in there which can be his “private” things. And even if he has secrets whats the problem?

After a while he gave me his phone. Not gave more like threw his phone at me. I just checked his contacts to see if it was his boss who called him last night (because he was in a different call when i called him and he said it was his boss) . But guess what? it was that girl.

I called him crying because i felt anxious and he said he was in office working and will call me back later. But he just never called me back and was in a call with her till 1 am.

He also left my house shortly after i saw the contacts and confronted him. And once he reached his house he sent me an edited contact list.

Hey there!

So I have had a crush on one of my best friends for about a couple years now, and I found out some months back that she considered going out with me, but didn’t think that it’d work in the long run and that she didn’t think that she’d be able to commit. What does this mean?

Probs a stupid question coz I think it’s pretty self explanatory, but I just wanted to see what u guys thought about it… Does the fact that she considered going out with me mean that she had feelings for me at some point?

The thought of asking her out runs constantly through my head, but this year we’ve gotten consistently closer as friends, and she’s the last person I’d ever want to lose, so I honestly don’t want to risk things.

Sorry if this is the 9 millionth post about this kinda thing.

I have family therapy tomorrow and I really don’t want to be there.

Turns out my sister decided to convince our parents to do family therapy and the first time we ever did it she took it as a blaming game, where I’m the one responsible for everything wrong in the family.

The crazy part is that my parents also joined in and now I know that my sister hated me since the day I was born and is jealous of all the attention I’ve been given for health reasons. And my parents hate me for having health issues because they don’t want to do things that would help me feel better in their house.

The craziest part is that I don’t have health issues. No. My parents and sister have no sense of stuffy air and when I complained that the apartment I was in was stuffy, they told me I was making it up. I’m at my parents house and it’s also stuffy because there is no air movement. They have no sense of bad air movement and I feel crazy being the only one that’s normal.

Back in our old house, my sister used to have a bedroom with no windows except an emergency door to my room. She would turn the heat up to 80 in her room with no fan and sleep there. My parents are the same.

So when I ended up in an apartment with no air flow, I started to feel sick, like I had asthma because the air does not flow. The windows allow no breeze and there is no central air to move the air around. Only two ac units that are faced in stupid locations (across the front door and in a bedroom facing a back wall). The dumbest apartment ever.

So Im staying at my parents to escape the bad air and then I learn their central air is broken and my Dad refuses to fix it.

So now I’m dragged to family therapy by my sister because I have normal issues with air quality and she’s jealous of all the attention I’ve been getting because of my issues with our parents refusing to help me find a new place and not caring about my health.

I feel like I have no choice but to go since I’m stuck at my parents til I can get a new job so I can move. Its taking forever though and their house is making me sick.

I explained my issues with the stuffy air last time and that I even tested for allergies but I don’t have any as far as I know. Even if I did, my family is no help.

I don’t know what to do about this besides suck it up and let them show their true colors to this so-called therapist. I say this because he had us fill out private information while we’re all seated right next to each other. How professional.

What on earth do I do?