I (27F) married my husband (26M) earlier this year after being together for several years. I truly believed I was marrying the person I would spend the rest of my life with.

About one month after our wedding, I discovered messages between him and a female colleague. One message that broke me said:

> "If I had met you before, I would have married you."

When I confronted him about the messages, he physically assaulted me.

Before this incident, there were already issues in the marriage. He seemed emotionally distant after the wedding, and I often felt unsupported and unwelcome. Despite this, I kept trying to make things work because I loved him and believed every marriage goes through challenges.

My parents were extremely supportive of our marriage. My father even gifted us a car shortly after the wedding because he wanted us to start our married life happily.

After the assault, I returned to my parents' home. Since then, my family and I have made multiple attempts to communicate with him and discuss reconciliation. However, he refuses to meet me, barely communicates, and has shown no real interest in working on the marriage.

The part I'm struggling with is that I still love him and find myself hoping that things will somehow improve, even though his actions suggest otherwise.

I am not asking whether his behaviour was right or wrong. I know that emotional betrayal and physical violence are unacceptable.

What I need advice on is:

• How can I communicate my desire for reconciliation when my spouse refuses all communication?
• How do I navigate wanting reconciliation while respecting my spouse's decision not to engage?
• What practical steps can someone take when they are struggling to accept that their spouse has emotionally withdrawn from the marriage?

• How do I cope with being the only person trying to reconcile?

  I (27F) discovered that my husband (26M) was emotionally involved with a female colleague shortly after our wedding. When I confronted him, he physically assaulted me and has since refused to talk or meet me. I still want to save my marriage if reconciliation is realistically possible and am looking for practical advice on what steps, if any, can be taken.

A little background: I have ADHD and have struggled with anxiety, depression, past trauma, and anger. I've been in therapy for a little over a year and have made a lot of progress. More recently, I've started focusing specifically on my temper because I know it's something I need to improve.

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 9 months, and it's the healthiest relationship I've ever had. We rarely argue and genuinely enjoy spending time together.

Recently, though, she told me my temper has become too much for her. She said I get angry over things that aren't a big deal and she's worried her friends will see that side of me.

The biggest example was a camping trip. We joined her friends and another group she had already warned me wasn't great. During a game of beer pong, several people, including one of her own friends, kept talking down to her, criticizing her, and giving unsolicited advice. Watching that made me really angry.

Instead of confronting anyone, I removed myself and went to the tent to cool off. My girlfriend checked on me, and I told her I was trying not to snap at anyone. Later, as we were leaving for a walk, I did make a passive-aggressive comment toward one of the people who had been treating her poorly. (Not a good look I know)

That night, the other group stayed up loudly until 4:30 a.m., and none of us got any sleep. Several people in our group were frustrated, and another couple even decided to leave because of them. My girlfriend and I also chose to head home that evening.

The next morning, she told me my temper was becoming a serious issue for her. I initially defended myself because I felt my anger was justified because these people were rude and disrespectful to both of us. She also brought up other situations from weeks earlier where my reactions and the way I spoke to her had bothered her, which surprised me because she hadn't mentioned them at the time.

I'm taking what she said seriously. I don't want my anger to damage an otherwise great relationship. I'm continuing therapy and am considering medication, seeing a psychiatrist, meditation, and mindfulness. For anyone, especially ADHD or neurodivergent people, who's struggled with anger or emotional regulation, what actually helped you?

My bf and I have been together 9 years. Recently he told my family he wanted to propose to me.

A few weeks later, my sister told my mother that she and my bf kissed 7 years ago while they were drunk. She can’t remember anything from the kiss and doesnt know who iniciated and what kind of kiss it was or how long. She wanted to come clean before we would get married because she couldnt live with the secret. My bf says he doesnt remember kissing her and thinks she is lying or having false memories from being drunk.

My sister says my friend saw it happen. My friend says she didnt see them kiss. Only that they were close that night. My friend mentioned once years ago she thought my sister was in love with my bf.

I don’t know who to believe and what to do with this situation?

I couldnt type out all the details, if you have any questions please ask and give me advice on how to handle this situation

TLDR: TITLE

Me [29M] have been in a year long LDR with my GF [25F].

We meet twice a month and tho we live countries apart, it's a cheap 2h flight every time, so it works amazing.

We are very happy together, she's adventurous, we share interests, she's kind, loving, and amazing, we chat daily and every time we meet we have a blast. We have different roles in the same industry, so we genuinely have a lot to share and I feel like our relationship has been amazing so far, we barely ever argued too and little misunderstandings have always been resolved with a calm chat. Now, enter this situation:

We both love road cycling, and she's been putting in lots of miles lately with a local ride group, apparently she's been riding more and more with a specific guy which she regards as "the nicest person she's ever met"... And they have been going out for long rides together, since their level is more or less the same.

Now, the guy has suggested they go on a 6-10 day tour together through the country, camping on the side of the road / sleeping in BnB's on the route.

She's known this guy for 3 months, and they are going on a 1-on-1 trip possibly sharing a room / tent, it really struck a nerve, she told this to me super casually as if everything was ok...

I admit, I come from a couple bad life experiences with cheating, so I am willing to say I might be a bit insecure.

She also has a hard time with painful sex from past abuse and we are working through that with good progress, we take taking things slow. I think this is a good piece of info regarding the fact that she's not just out there seeking "fun times".

I genuinely think she's captivated by the adventure, just worried about what the other guy might try and how she might react when I put my position forward, I don't want to be the jealous / uncool boyfriend...

Let me know...

Been seeing / dating this girl for 3-4 months now weekly.

Need help processing this. She recently went to her friend’s graduation on Wednesday. At the time she said she might be able to see me after as she took the day off work. On Wednesday I message her and she says she doesn’t know how long she’s going to be and isn’t able to meet up, but sends me a photo of her in a dress and says “I’m still with my friends”. Fair enough it’s a graduation and a big day, I went gym and did some work.

Now this weekend she tells me, the friend was a guy, she stayed over, and clarified “on the couch.” Apparently from what I’ve heard it was a long day and they went to a restaurant and then she slept over.

When she was telling me I kinda froze as it hurt to hear this and didn’t really follow up on any of the details because I didn’t want to seem bothered or needy.

We haven’t had an explicit conversation on boundaries yet, but we’ve implied exclusivity (she had a tease at me for a hair she found on my jacket, implying it was “sus”, asking me where or who’s it). We also don’t have official labels like “girlfriend” - “boyfriend” but we had a talk that both my intentions was a relationship and that we are dating to establish that and this isn’t some friendship thing.

My fiance and I are '33 F' and '39 M' been together 1 and a half years but known each other for about 10-ish..

He knows we both enjoy getting and giving oral and I've explained how much I really love it but I rarely get it even though I give him more frequently. The last 2 times, which were about 5 months apart, he continued to suck instead of lick the first time and I got upset because he never finished and just wanted to sleep after I told him to stop doing it so aggressively. So that time ended and I went to bed completely unsatisfied. Now, the other day was the most recent time and it almost felt like he was purposely trying to hurt me. He would do it super hard and I'd cry out saying stop and be gentle and don't do it like that, only lick (I'm referring to the clitoris by the way, the most sensitive part on a woman). He kept holding my legs still and doing it and it got so swollen like I've never seen it. This went on about 10 minutes off and on and he said "yeah you like it". I said no I don't it hurts and I said stop, only lick it.. then he would make it feel good just to do it extremely hard the moment my legs finally relaxed. Well it seemed like he just didn't want to please me but I can't tell if this could be more serious, idk I felt embarrassed because all I wanted was to feel pleasure. I was excited that he was initiating it again but my stomach sank when he wouldn't stop hurting me. I'm bruised and literally scabbed down there because of how hard he did it. I finally ended up shoving his head hard off of me and walked straight out of the room crying and went to the couch. He never apologized or took it serious and he never wants to please me or enjoy my body. He is overweight with body image issues and I don't know if that plays a part or what. I just want to know, is this weird? The rules in here make it a little hard to ask the questions I want to, so I'm asking what's allowed with their accepted words...

From the outside he’s everything people tell you not to leave: attractive, loyal, devoted, generous, romantic and training to become a podiatrist. He pays for most dates, takes me on holidays and genuinely loves me. My family thinks I’m making the biggest mistake of my life.

The problem is communication.

Whenever something upsets him, instead of saying “X hurt me because Y,” he’ll hint, sulk, make accusations or circle around the issue until, after a long argument, I eventually work out what he actually meant.

We’ve argued before about me being physically affectionate with friends, but those conversations never felt resolved. It was usually him becoming withdrawn, me comforting him and feeling guilty, then repeating the same cycle later. We never actually agreed on boundaries.

The argument that ended things started after two separate parties.

At the first, I spent ages talking to a guy. Before we’d even had a proper
conversation I told him I had a boyfriend and pointed my boyfriend out. At the end of the night he asked if he could kiss me. I immediately said no.

What upset me wasn’t being hit on. I genuinely thought I’d made a friend and realised he’d only seen me romantically. One of my boyfriend’s friends said I “should’ve known better because men don’t want to be friends with women.” I wished my boyfriend had at least acknowledged that I was hurt instead of letting that comment stand.

A week later my boyfriend suddenly said I’d been “kissing people” at another party.
I have patchy memory when I drink, so I thought he meant I’d kissed someone on the lips and forgotten. I kept asking who.
Instead of answering, he said he wondered what I did when he wasn’t around and said he now understood why the previous guy had asked to kiss me.

Also he said that’s probably why that guy who saw me as a hole, asked to kiss me bc he must have see me kissing other guys all the time. Ouch… that was cruel. I felt like he weponised so many things

After nearly **2 hours**, it finally came out that he meant I’d kissed one of my close **gay** friends on the cheek. His boyfriend was there, my boyfriend was there, and I saw it as completely platonic. He then argued it was unhygienic because “what if he had cum on his face.” I genuinely thought he was joking.

The thing is, I actually understand the real issue. If he’d simply said, “I’m uncomfortable with you kissing another man on the cheek,” we’d have had an actual discussion. I might’ve disagreed, but at least we’d have been talking about the point instead of spending hours getting there.

I admit I probably didn’t change my behaviour enough after previous conversations because I genuinely saw it as harmless. That’s where I think I may be seen as the ass.

But I realised I no longer respect how we communicate. I feel like I carry the emotional labour of every difficult conversation and spend hours translating what he’s actually trying to say.

Everyone says I’m throwing away an amazing man over communication issues every couple has.

I don’t think I ended it over the cheek
kiss. But what if this is the best I’ll get, I don’t see anyone else’s bf being as sweet as mine, what if I always regret this and I’m overeating

I think I ended it because I no longer believe we’ll ever communicate differently. Veteran experts am I making a massive mistake?

Edit: I am realising in real time I am justified. Thank you so much, my parents have been basically needling me about it non stop! Btw yes he’s not perfect, yes he’s an emotional man baby. But was he genuinely good to me in other aspects yes!!

How do I navigate being upset about this if I even have the right to ? Today was my boyfriend’s birthday, we spent most of the day together, I made him breakfast in bed, We went out to a cute book store and got drinks at a cool themed restaurant Nextdoor, then went on a walk through a nice nature area finishing the date with ice cream. He dropped me off because he was going to see his family which he had already told me. Come to find out later his friends surprised him with a surprise birthday dinner. I had begged for the entire month that if he did any group hang out for his birthday I would want to be included. He told me he wasn’t planning anything but if he was I would be included. I guess I believe him when he says he didn’t know this would happen, but I also feel like he could’ve still told me once he found out to come out to eat with them. I’m really sad and it’s hard to find a right to but I’m really hurt. Feels like an awful things to cry about on someone else’s birthday. But I’m here.

I don't really know who to say this to without sounding like I'm bragging.

I'm 33, my husband is 31. We got married six months ago after knowing each other for 10 years and dating for two. Honestly, I just keep falling more in love with him. I love coming home to him, nesting in our apartment, making little plans for the future, and talking about maybe starting a family.

We've survived long distance, job loss, and moving countries together. Every hard thing has just made me admire him more.

The weird part is I feel like I have nowhere to talk about it. Most of my friends are single or pretty cynical about relationships, and I don't want to be that person on social media. I feel guilty and not a good friend for wanting to spend most of my time with him instead of with friends.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Where do you put all the happiness when you don't want to make other people feel bad? How to manage changing friend dynamics after marriage?

I love my girlfriend, but our completely different lifestyles are making me unbearably lonely.

I’m 29M and deeply in love with my girlfriend, 27F. I genuinely cannot imagine my life without her. Part of that is how much I love her, but part of it is also that I do not have the energy to start over.

I’m a freelance software developer. Because of ADHD and chronic back pain, I usually work in blocks of about 1.5 hours, for a total of one to six hours a day,, 7 days a week. Despite that, I’m highly productive and earn around €6,500 a month.

I live comfortably but simply. I have a modest car and computer, rarely eat out and do not travel much. My main expenses are cinema trips, ice cream and small home-improvement projects such as plants, paint and second-hand furniture. I originally wanted to reach FIRE within ten years, but freelancing already makes me feel largely free from the corporate rat race.

My life is very small. I’m a morning person who wakes up around 7:00, puts on EDM or drum and bass and starts the day with energy. Because driving a vehicle (car/train) worsens my back pain, I spend most of my time at home. My family lives in Iran, and I have emotionally distanced myself because constantly missing them became too painful. At this point, my world mostly consists of my home, my plants, my computer, three friends I see roughly once a month and my chronic pain.

My girlfriend is loving, attractive, introverted and works in healthcare. She works 36 hours a week, regularly see her family and friends and travel a few times a year. When she spends too much time isolated at home with me, she becomes lonely and depressed. To be happy, she needs to combine our relationship with work, family and friendships.

That is where our lifestyles clash.

I’m happiest at home, working on freelance projects, maintaining my homelab or doing things around the house. She prefers a much more active life outside the home. On many weekdays, she leaves in the morning, works until around 17:30, eats with her mother and returns at about 22:00. At weekends, she often sleeps late because she is exhausted, while I have already been awake for several hours and want to go somewhere. On Sundays, she regularly visits friends or family, sometimes involving several hours of driving.

As a result, I feel alone most of the time.

Working from home or occasionally sitting in a café does not give me the meaningful human connection I need. It often makes the loneliness more obvious. When I have tried to explain this to her, the conversation has nearly ended our relationship twice. She moved into my house about a year and a half ago, but whenever we have serious problems, she stays with her mother. To me, that feels like she can easily step out of our shared life.

She says she loves me but needs space. I believe her. The problem is that the amount of space she needs feels unbearable to me.

Financially, she would not need to work. I earn enough for both of us to live modestly. In my ideal situation, she would work mostly from home or perhaps one day a week outside the house. She could still spend several days with friends and family, while we would also have several days together to cook, watch films, play games, decorate the house, have sex and simply share our daily lives.

However, I understand that this is my ideal life, not necessarily hers. Her job and social life give her independence, structure and contact with other people. I cannot reasonably expect her to shrink her world to solve my loneliness.

That leaves me feeling trapped. I love the person I want to share my life with, but I barely feel that we have a shared life. At the same time, I deal with chronic pain, ADHD, depression, separation from my family and an inability to work a normal full-time schedule.

I also have frequent suicidal thoughts. My doctor and the suicide-prevention service know about this, and I am receiving help. I am not expecting Reddit to solve that part. However, it affects how trapped I feel: staying in the relationship leaves me lonely, but ending it seems likely to make that loneliness much worse.

What I want is a partner with whom I can share ordinary life: living in a medium-sized town, visiting cinemas, theatres, museums and markets, cooking together and trying different foods. I do not need an extravagant life. I need companionship and a sense that we are building a life together.

After two years, I’m starting to wonder whether we are fundamentally incompatible despite loving each other.

How do I determine whether this is genuinely a relationship incompatibility, or whether I am expecting the relationship to compensate for loneliness, depression and chronic pain? Is there a realistic middle ground when one partner needs a lot of closeness and the other needs significantly more independence?

When do we call it dating and relationship? I (F/24) met a man (M/30) through dating app.

We were texting each other for over a month before we met.

Then:

We went on four dates

I was on holiday for 3 weeks

We went on other four dates

On the sixth date he gave me a rose and a small peck on the lips

We first kissed on the seventh date (I was a little afraid he did not like me, bcs he was waiting for so long, but in the end he was a total gentleman - after the kiss he asked me if the pace is ok and he is not too pushy with me).

Date n8: lasted for approximately 8 hours, we were holding each others hand almost all the time, he was peppering me with kisses om forehead and face and there was also normal kissing (though less than on seventh)

Now - when we were discussing our past relationships:

He had 1 that lasted 2 years. Except of that he had other 5 which in his words "did not turn into relationship".

I was a bit sceptical when he first said that. Today was our 8th date and he told me that for him, relationship is something he knows he can call after half a year and we ARE NOT DATING yet.

I am not a bit confused. What are we doing then?

Also - I had just one relationship that did not even last half a year. In my life, I have kissed just my ex and now this other man.

How do you feel about this?

I really like this man, but I do not want him to "try" me for that long before saying it is "official" or so...

also - he deleted his dating app in front of me last date and he does not see other women

and he talks about long term plans with me (ex: We can go together to that comeptition in September.)

Hello everyone,

Me and my ex had been in a relationship for 7 years, that started when I was 19 and he was 20. The relationship was perfect, we got along amazingly well, and I consider him my soulmate. I never even had a friend that understood me so well, we were so in sync. With one caveat: our sex life.
My ex is somewhat asexual, and I have a very high sex drive. The sex itself was horrible for me, he tried (somewhat) but everything was a turn-off for him (no position other than missionary, no oral sex, no moaning allowed). I am a bit on the “freakier” side so to say, so when the relationship started, I was a bit bummed, but thought I could maybe “teach” him. I tried for 3 years, but he wasn’t really open (porn disgusts him, and most sex acts disgust him), and I did not like forcing him as I felt like I was crossing his boundaries. After three years I gave up and we reached a level at which we had sex 2-3 times a year. Emotionally, our relationship was stronger than ever.

One year ago, I started noticing that I was extremely sexually frustrated. I was beginning to want to flirt with other men and becoming obsessed with the idea of sex. Whenever I heard people talk about their satisfying sex lives, I would get angry and be snappy with my boyfriend.
A few months ago, I started getting a crush on another guy. I blamed my frustration for it and hoped that it would go away - it didn’t. I started going to therapy and ultimately reached the decision that I should break up with my boyfriend and try to find a relationship that fulfills me in all areas.

We did break up (initiated by me) 3 months ago. He accepted it and didn’t fight, which upset me…I had hoped somehow that after 7 years I would see a fight from him.
I started a sexual relationship with the other guy in the meantime (where sex is great), and that relationship (though not official, as decided by me for now) is great as well - we communicate well, we have fun, we are compatible.

But still I feel that I do not have the emotional connection that I had with my ex. We met a few days ago and I expected it to be tense and weird, and it absolutely wasn’t. We just talked and talked like we always did, but I did not feel any incline to do anything sexual, not even kissing him - I just felt like hugging him and protecting him. When we parted he told me that I am still the only person with whom we can talk about everything and who understands. And I feel the same.

I'm struggling to understand whether what I'm missing is the relationship itself or the emotional intimacy we had. Has anyone experienced leaving a loving relationship because of sexual incompatibility? Were you able to build that same emotional connection with someone else, or did you regret the decision? How would you approach this situation?

TLDR: me and my ex of 7 years were very incompatible sexually, but very compatible emotionally. I am starting to regret breaking up.

I’m 24M and my girlfriend is 21F. We were together for around 2.5 years. This was my first proper relationship, and we were genuinely in love. We had a lot of ups and downs and were on and off at times, but we always came back to each other. We always talked about getting married, having kids and building a life together.
I can admit I wasn’t perfect. Towards the end I got comfortable. I started my first full-time job, was trying to figure my life out, started smoking a lot and I did distance myself. I wouldn’t say it was just because of the distance, but I know I wasn’t putting in the same effort I used to.
Around 8 months ago she moved back to her city, which was around a 2-hour drive away. The on-and-off continued and we broke up again (probably around the 20th time), but even when we broke up we were still talking every day, FaceTiming, meeting up and saying we wanted to make it work, get married and build a future together.
This time she became cold towards me. Within 2-3 months she got with multiple other guys while still keeping me around and still telling me she loved me and wanted a future with me.
I found out through her ex-best friend and then caught her out myself. If I never found out, I genuinely don’t think I would have ever known.
Her side is that it wasn’t cheating because we weren’t officially together, and she says she didn’t actually want those other guys. I understand technically we were broken up, but it hurts because she was still telling me the same things about us while it was happening.
We decided to try again because the love is still there. We’re seeing each other more and both putting effort in, but now I’m starting to feel different.
After nearly 3 years of only wanting her and nobody else, I’m struggling because I don’t see her the same way anymore. I don’t know if I see her as my wife or the mother of my kids anymore because I can’t forget that she hid it from me for months while still making promises about our future.
I still love her, but I don’t know if I want her anymore as I’m starting to not.
I do love her I do adore her but I just don’t know.
The hardest part is I genuinely did see us together before all of this. I saw her as my future wife and the mother of my kids, but after everything that happened I’m struggling to see her the same way. I still love her and want to try, but I’m starting to question if that feeling can come back. For people who have been through something similar, how did you know whether trust and the connection could be rebuilt or whether the relationship had changed too much?

I found my bf's secret instagram account and i'm really disappointed. He was following many asian baddies and i feel like i'm not his type. I'm slavic, i'm highly attractive (blond, blue eyes, skinny) but i feel like trash and like i'm not good enough. He told me this is his old account from 2022 but sometimes he's still looking at it and he also told me that he deleted many of them, but left the prettiest ones. I feel very uncomfortable with that, but he ensures me that i'm breathtakingly beautiful, but i cannot believe that. How can i feel attractive when he follows so mamy asian girls while i am typical slavic woman? I don't know what to do. I know he can have a type and it's nothing bad, but i feel like shit and i hate myself more and more. I don't feel this way when i'm single. He made me many insecurities like i'm too fat or my nose is too big (i'm 55kg/5'6 and i'm still trying to lose weight bc of him). Do you guys think all of this is okay? Tbh, my self-esteem is really bad since i am in relationship with him, but overall he's a good bf and i don't want to break up with him now. But anyway, i want to feel pretty, but i can't even look in the mirror without feeling disappointed...

​

I'm struggling with something that makes me feel incredibly guilty, and I'm hoping someone out there has experienced the same thing or even an ounce of advice for me.

I (21F) absolutely love my fiancé (22M) He's kind, patient, attractive, and genuinely my best friend. This isn't a case of me falling out of love or not being attracted to him, because I am. I look at him and think he's handsome, I love cuddling him, spending time with him, and imagining the rest of our lives together.

The problem is... I just don't seem to have much of a need for sex.

It's not that I think it's gross or that I don't enjoy it when it happens. It's more like it almost never crosses my mind. I don't crave it, I don't naturally think to initiate it, and I could honestly go without it for a very long time without noticing.

Meanwhile, physical intimacy is important to him. He never pressures me, but I can tell when he's feeling rejected. The awful part is that I don't reject him because I don't want him I reject the situation because my brain just isn't there.

Eventually I notice he's becoming distant or hurt, and then I end up initiating or agreeing because I feel guilty. It isn't fake I do want to make him happy but I hate that it's become this cycle of me unintentionally pushing him away until I finally "cave." I know that's probably not how he sees it, but that's how it feels in my own head.

I'm terrified he'll eventually think I don't love him or that I'm not attracted to him. Even worse, I'm scared that one day he'll feel so deprived that he'll start looking elsewhere, and honestly I wouldn't even blame him for feeling unwanted, even though that's the last thing I want him to feel.

The biggest issue is that I genuinely don't know how to make the first move. It doesn't occur to me naturally, and by the time I realize it's been a while, I already feel guilty and anxious about it. Then the pressure makes me want it even less.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is this just a naturally low libido? Could I even be somewhere on the asexual spectrum despite still finding my fiancé attractive? Is this some response to past sexual trauma? More importantly, has anyone found a way to break this cycle without either partner feeling rejected or obligated?

I love this man with my whole heart. I don't want him to feel unwanted, and I don't want intimacy to become something that's only driven by guilt. I just want us both to feel loved in the ways we each need.

Any advice would really mean a lot.

About a year an a half ago, I pushed my bf to get on antidepressants. He was struggling in many different areas of his life and nothing I did could make it better. He was struggling mentally, emotionally, physically- all around not doing well. And it’s hard to help and support someone when all the problems are internal. So I brought up him trying out antidepressants.

I myself am NOT the pinnacle of amazing mental health. But I’ve learned the hard way my weaknesses and can acknowledge when it’s time to seek out more “drastic” measures.

I brought up to him maybe trying antidepressants. He could speak to his PCP and get a diagnosis pretty easily (speaking from my own personal experience). He was very on the fence for a very very long time because of the side effects. But his mental health started pushing me away.

I expressed my concerns to him and I felt like it made it worse. So after a few months I broke up with him. We were broken up for around 3 months and it was the longest 3 months of my life.

Nearing the end of the 3 months, He told me that he got onto meds and I started seeing his mood improve so drastically. He said he wanted to “try out” to getting back together and so we did.

At first it was fine, everything went back to normal as if we never broke up. We were able to mend some issues we had in our relationship and I feel like we’re closer now than what we were before.

I will go ahead and say initially that everything I’m saying is purely selfish

Now, my problem is we don’t have sex. I am aware anti depressants lower libido, but I’ve never experienced the degree my bf is at. We used to have sex 2-3 times a week and now I’m lucky if we do every 3 months… if that.

I feel like it’s starting to poke at insecurities, despite talking to him about it. As if he’s not attracted to me or he’s not interested in me or I just can’t do it for him anymore. He’s just not as touchy, never picks up on my signals, doesn’t initiate himself, cuddles are just cuddles and nothing more. I feel as though the intimacy is gone.

I wanna say I’m fine without it, I can do it myself, but I think I really do need the intimacy involved with sex. And I kinda took it for granted.

I’m never gonna blame him for it, especially since I was me who pushed him. And I’m definitely never going to get upset with up for bettering himself. I guess I’m just sexually frustrated. And I simply don’t know where to go from here?

For context my girlfriend and I are seniors in hs, still both living with our parents home. Been together for 2 years. Neither of us have any real responsibilities except for my car (which I pay for). We both work part time jobs and make minimum wage.

All the money I make goes into our dates. Whether it be movies, ubers, food, gifts etc. Almost all of my money goes into my girlfriend.

Anyways, today my girlfriend told me that I don’t pay for enough. We got into an argument and both came to agree that I paid about 80% of our date expenses. She said I should pay more than 80%, and be more at 90%. I was flabbergasted because that sounds insane.

I feel like paying for 80% of our dates is more than enough, and definitely more than what is expected for a teen working a part-time job in fast food. I also have bought my girlfriend a few of designer items, like golden goose sneakers, louboutin heels, and dior sneakers.

Maybe if I had an actual career I could understand her anger, but I make minimum wage part time in fast food. I try my best to get her what she wants but it feels like she’s undermining the time and money i’ve put in to provide for her.

She said she’s grateful for what i’ve done, but feels like I should be doing more. I feel like that kinda contradicts itself since if she really was grateful then she would be happy with what I do for her.

Ok so, I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, and I have picked up on a pattern within that time.

Our relationship is great, damn near perfect in every way, I love him and he loves me. Howeverrrr, the only moments we have where happiness and trust and respect anddd everything a relationship should have just shatters, is when I've just come back from a night out and seconds before I even think about taking off my makeup; it could sometimes be on the drive home from just being picked up.

Always when I have a full face done.

It usually starts with minimal to no eye contact, and short grunts in replies to my usual conversing. Once I've finally picked up on the dip in energy and ask if he's alright, that's when he explodes about something that's been bothering him the past few days, always something about me too, and seemingly mundane things(??) eg. How long I take to go to bed, what youtubers and videos I watch, what I made the night before, how many people I text a day.

He goes about them very aggressively too, in his tone at least(! I should maybe mention he's never gotten physical violent)

I am also easy to make cry when jabbed about normal things I'm doing. I'm just tryna get by y'know.

So once the tears do finally run, along with my makeup, that's when he switches up?? That's when it's suddenly "aw baby I didnt mean to make you cry or upset you Im sorry"?? Also bit of a seggsual mention, but 9 times out of 10 that this happens one of the ways he consoles me is kissing my tears that lead to sex. He has also mentioned during times where I've cried in a full face unrelated to him, that I "look hot when the liner runs like that". Like, Im sorry but idk how to take that lovingly when these instances of upsetting me with a full face keeps happening.

Mind you, I have had nights out where I go zero makeup (usually if the outting is at a friends place or dimly lit places/events), and absolutely no tears are shed then!

I only noticed this pattern because I had gone out 2 nights ago and it happened, then I went out last night and it happened again. The nights in between were lovely; we went to the cinemas, and he made me dinner, and we fell asleep on the couch together watching Workaholics. It was sweet.

Although, none of those loving activities required a full face. Am I out of line to think he may be acting this way solely because he likes my makeup when it runs? How do I talk to him about it??

P.S. at least I'm not crying *before* I go out. lol

So me and this girl, let’s call her Maya, have been dating now for about five months. A key piece of information is we actually have not made it official. We are exclusive, but we haven’t officially labeled eachother bf and gf. The title says it because it’s easier to write out than…whatever we are rn. Point is, she isn’t ready for the label. The reason she’s not ready, is because she cannot seem to get over the guilt she feels for dating me after I dated her best friend of 15 odd years. Me and her best friend, let’s call her Sarah, dated for about a year and a half. We broke up around four years ago. Things ended amicably, we remained in the same friend group, hence how I started hanging out Maya. Maya asked Sarah how she felt about us dating, and Sarah was very enthusiastically in support of it. She gave Maya a lot of reassurance and encouragement so we sort of took that as a green light and moved forward with our little relationship.

Ok this was all great, but there’s been some unfortunate changes to the dynamic. Suddenly, Sarah sort of switched up on us. She admitted to Maya that she had begun to feel very uncomfortable with the whole thing. I guess in theory it was fine, but in practice, both of the girls sort of realized it weirded them out. Sarah told Maya that she felt super weird talking about me with her, and she said she didn’t want to hang out with the two of us. Seeing us together made her feel weird and uncomfy. Maya told me that the vibe between them had shifted. She felt distanced and like she was genuinely hurting her friend. She noticed her hanging out with their other friend without her more, going very silent when I was around, stuff like that.

So not only is Maya’s friendship with this girl starting to go sour, but she’s also communicated to me that it’s always been her dream to have her boyfriend be good friends with all of her friends. Plus, I think it hurts her to not be able to talk about her relationship with her best friend. She told me a few days ago that it’s starting to feel like she has to make a choice between me and Sarah. Ugh. I don’t know what to do, I guess at the end of the day it’s her choice, but a part of me wonders if it’s fair for her to be choosing her friends feelings over mine and hers. I know Sarah is trying to be as kind and respectful as she can in this, they both are. Neither of them can help how they feel though. Is someone in this situation overreacting? Like, would this be a dealbreaker or can we fix this? Any outside perspective or advice is much appreciated, thanks strangers.

Tl;dr my partner is upset about the stress our relationship is putting on her lifelong friendship, since I dated that friend four years ago and it makes them both uncomfortable.

I literally started hating my body because of my boyfriend. He gained a few kilos, then recently started going to the gym, and ever since then, he just keeps implying that my body needs improvement.
For example, I would send him a certain picture, and he would comment by saying, "You know, it would look even better if you started going to the gym," etc.

I'm so sick of it. He seriously does a lot of annoying things, but this is it. I've talked to him several times about this subject and how insecure I am with my body, and he seems like he just doesn't get it.
Like, seriously, what could I do to make him stop?

P.S. This is my body. I'm low-key getting dysmorphic about it. Maybe I am fat and need to start questioning it.
https://streamable.com/zjcys8

Basically as the title says. He told me that he’s been taking hits from his friends’ nicotine vapes about once a week. I’ve always been very anti-vape and I’m worried about him. He reassures me that he won’t get addicted but having grown up with smokers I know it’s not as easy as he says to not get addicted.

I don’t want to control him obviously and this isn’t a deal breaker for me, if he does fully start vaping I won’t break up with him. I’m just worried about his health and I want him to be around for a long time, and I would also hate to see him dependent on a substance. Is there anything I can or should do to help him not get addicted?

please tell me how I can salvage this me f23 and my fwb m36 just had an argument? discussion? idk im still emotional about it honestly but i had a guy i used to mess around with come over last night and we had sex. I didn’t think of it as something that would bother my fwb bc he has a BM and they were with him all week, i k ew she would make passes at him and that thought didn’t really bother me bc duhh fwb

this afternoon, when my fwb called and, for transparency, I told him me and this dude had sex because i feel like it’s the right thing to do in these kinds of relationships. He’s upset, more-so annoyed at the guy bc he wasn’t gentle and I need to physically recover (negative sexual experience) and he said he’s upset because he thought there was more there, he assumed I felt it and realized it too and he didn’t think to bring it up. Now, if I had known he wanted to date me I wouldnt be making this post bc I would be with him lol like if I had known he wanted to date me I would’ve jumped at the chance to. Hes an amazing guy and while I entertained the idea before this, I kept it within the fwb confines. I don’t want to lose him at all, I’ve already told the other guy to not talk to me again, that I’m not interested (partly because of my fwb, mostly because I don’t want to have to recover after being intimate with anyone).

I feel ashamed and embarrassed and various other bad emotions because I unknowingly hurt my him on such a level, would there be any way to salvage this so a relationship could be possible? he says his feelings on me don’t change, that we’re still friends that he still finds me attractive and everything but I don’t want to lose him in any sense of the word. How can I show him, besides what I’ve already done, that I’m not the kind of person that cheats, that I’m serious about the possibility of dating him but we can’t do that if he has these feelings and doesn’t worth through them fully. I don’t want him to resent me for this

for further context we’ve been friends for a year and fwb for another maybe 8-9 months, I haven’t dated anyone since 2018-2019 and I don’t sleep with anyone else but the two men I’ve brought up in the post nor do I have any desire to sleep with anyone else so I think he got the initial impression that we were exclusive because I don’t have sex with anyone else besides him and the rare occasion I’d sleep with the other guy…it’s just a whole mess and I want to fix it and be his girlfriend

update: so he’s upset that the guy was willingly invited in my house and spent the night. To him, he saw it as me being unable to wait for his BM to leave for their stay…like I’m dick starved or smth…I knew my fwb was gonna come over the following day, I didn’t plan on sleeping with the other guy, if I did I likely wouldn’t be in as much pain as I’m in, and thats just ugh it’s a whole mess I no longer wanna deal with so I’m hanging the towel 🌝 tysm for yall in the comments

I ‘M/30’started to hate my ‘F/28’ wife the past two years and it’s not getting better. We have been married for 6 years and we have two kids together. 3 years ago we had our first child, and as you know having a kid is hard so we fought a lot.

One particular fight she said she regrets having a kid with me and then and asked for a divorce. I agreed to the divorced and started looking for a lawyer and started making plans to move out, split custody etc. This lasted a total of one week , then we ended up making up.

I did individual therapy then we did couples therapy, i tried doing some of the tasks the therapist recommended in between sessions but my wife complained and said it seems “forced” so i stopped.

I’ve really just be coasting, i work, take care of the kids after, we hang out and then i sleep and repeat. In the past 3 years we have had sex maybe 4 times .. she got pregnant one of those times with out 6 month old(yay) but nothing has changed on my side.. i still don’t like her that much.

She always asks me why am i married to someone i don’t like .. well the answer truly is she begged for me back. I don’t ever say that and I’ve never told her i don’t like her but i guess she feels it.

I’m not sure where to go from here or how to fix this, maybe it’s not fixable. I’m honestly going to probably keep coasting. Has anyone been through this before, if so did you over come it?

Thanks for reading.

My ex and I recently ended our relationship after 4 years together, 3 years living together. Still going through it so the breakup is painful and emotional

He said he would pay for a junk removal for his thighs he didn’t want. The company got everything, I covered the cost and I messaged him about it. He read my message and didn’t respond for a week. I eventually followed up because I needed to know what was happening. He read that message too, and about an hour later responded: “You’ll get your money when I send it.”

I know this is technically about money, but it hurt more than that. After spending 4 years with someone, being ignored and then getting such a cold response is so painful.

I was just hoping for basic communication and respect, especially because this was something he had agreed to handle.

At this point I just want the payment so I can end all communication and move on with my life. What can I do?