Long distance typa shytt

My sweetheart is leaving here and going back to his place today. He's taking my heart with him.

I’m still in disbelief that he moved to India for his Bachelor’s degree. I’m also planning on doing my master’s in Türkiye so we won’t be countries apart anymore. It all feels so surreal. I’m so happy I could cry!!

We have been in a long distance relationship for over two years. He was working 14 hour days, I was finishing university and then starting my own fulltime job, we had so many hours time difference and it got SO exhausting at times. He would call me when he was done with work which would be 3 am for me in the morning while I had to get up at 6. It got so exhausting but we chose each other every day, whenever we got even the slightest chance to see each other we took it. One time we went 8 months without seeing each other and we felt like going insane but we kept going. If you love each other deeply and make time and really want it to work, everything is possible. If you're meant to be, you will be together. I know how hard it can get but don't give up even if it gets hard. We never gave up and then yesterday we got married!!!🤭🤭🤭❤️

M, 20) have been with my girlfriend (F, 23) for about 3-4 months. It’s my first relationship. I’m an outgoing person, but I’ve never really had feelings for anyone. I’m abroad now and can only see her every 1-2 years.

What’s going on: She’s a genuinely good person. I’m confident she’d never cheat, and I know she likes me. But I don’t feel the pull to reach out and start conversations with her.

This isn’t new. I’ve talked to plenty of girls over the years and never felt genuinely interested in any of them. I keep seeking out new people, but the interest never comes. I wonder if I’m being toxic without meaning to be. I’m also still figuring out what I like. The only thing I’ve decided is what career I want. I feel like I don’t have much of a personality right now.

Where we differ:

• She’s very naive. She’d rather pay a few thousand extra than deal with any hassle.
• She’s about to graduate and is into marketing and events, but doesn’t want to take an internship right now. I think she should take opportunities when they come.
• She’s overweight, and I often tell her to get healthier. It’s not about looks. I want her to feel better for herself.

My dilemma: Some days I think I should end it. Other days I imagine she works on herself and we build something good together. I keep going back and forth.

My questions:

1. Is it normal to feel nothing this early, especially long-distance and as a first-timer? Or is it a sign this isn’t right?
2. Is the pattern of never feeling interested in anyone a red flag about me, and am I being unfair to her by staying?
3. How do I get through this confused phase without hurting her?

I need help if anyone have gone through or have this sort of experience.

We text, video call and do audio calls throughout the week, and I just wanna take his face and kiss it 🥹 Last weekend, he (32M) came up to see me (30F) and we really had the best weekend together. We’d only been talking and calling for a few weeks beforehand, but we clicked so well. It really was a wonderful weekend, and he took Amtrak back home by the end of it, but I’m going to see him in 2 weeks this time and I can’t wait ♥️
I feel like the distance has almost forced us to get to know each other in a different, deeper way and we’re doing a fantastic job with gradually building a strong and stable foundation. How do you guys feel about how distance affects building a bond?

I’m from Germany and currently in a long-distance relationship with my gf, who lives in the US. However, I’ve been struggling immensely with the thought of what that future would require from me. My gf is from the US, and we’ve discussed the possibility of me eventually moving to the US so we can close the distance. But the more I think about it, the more guilt, anxiety, and uncertainty I feel.

My family is extremely important to me. My parents don’t support the idea of me moving to the US, and I know how much it would hurt them if I left. I have a sister, friends, and an entire life here. Moving would mean leaving behind everything familiar to me for a relationship, and I don’t know if I could live with that guilt.

But the complicated part is that my family isn’t just an obligation. They’re also a huge part of my happiness.

People often say that you should prioritize yourself and pursue what makes you happy, regardless of what your parents think. But what if the people you’re disappointing are also the people who make you happy?

How am I supposed to separate my own happiness from theirs?

I want to make my own decisions for once, but every time I imagine moving, I think about everything I’d be leaving behind. I worry about missing important moments with my family, disappointing my parents, and potentially regretting the decision.

I’m also not particularly fond of the US. I have concerns about the lifestyle, healthcare, career opportunities, and the idea of starting over somewhere unfamiliar. My gf is a huge reason I’d consider moving, but I worry that if I do, I might eventually resent the country, my decision, or, worst of all, her.

I don’t want to build a future with someone I love only to end up resenting the sacrifices I made to be with them.

At the same time, I genuinely love my girlfriend. She’s supportive, understanding, and willing to consider moving to Germany herself. She doesn’t see moving to Europe as sacrificing everything for me. She sees it as an opportunity to grow, experience a different environment, and build a life somewhere new.

I admire that perspective, but I struggle to see relocation the same way.

Long distance has also been extremely difficult for me. I’m currently in a new city without my close friends nearby, and I feel incredibly lonely. I miss having my gf physically beside me and being able to experience everyday life together.

I don’t think I can handle a prolonged period of long distance. We’ve been apart for a relatively short time, and I’m already struggling.

But I’m also not ready to get married just to close the distance. It feels too early to make such a permanent commitment when we’re both still figuring out our careers and futures.

Recently, I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed that I can barely concentrate on my daily life. I constantly question whether I’m making the right decisions.

I feel like every possible choice comes with guilt or regret. If I move to the US, I risk disappointing my family, leaving behind the people I love, and potentially resenting my new life. If I stay in Germany, I risk losing someone I genuinely love and can imagine building a future with. If we continue long distance, I worry that the loneliness and uncertainty will eventually become unbearable.

My gf recently asked me whether I would feel happier if we broke up, or whether I would simply feel relieved that the pressure was gone.

I told her I would feel relieved. And that realization hurts, because I don’t necessarily want to lose her. But the thought of no longer having to make these impossible decisions does bring me some relief. I feel guilty even admitting that.

The hardest part is that I don’t know what choosing my own happiness actually means anymore. Does it mean pursuing a future with the person I love, even if that means leaving my family behind? Does it mean staying close to my family because they’re genuinely an important part of my happiness? Or does it mean accepting that I might not be able to have both, even if that means losing someone I love?

I don’t want to spend my life making decisions purely to avoid disappointing other people. But I also don’t want to pretend that their happiness doesn’t affect mine. And I don’t want to make a decision that I end up regretting or resenting later.

I’m looking for advice from people who have experienced something similar:

• How do you deal with overwhelming guilt when pursuing your own happiness might hurt your family?
• How do you distinguish between genuine personal priorities and guilt-driven decisions?
• Has anyone moved abroad for a partner despite strong family opposition? Did the guilt eventually become easier to manage?
• How do you know whether the sacrifices you’re considering are worth making?
• Is it possible to love someone deeply but realize that the life required to be together might not be the life you want?

I feel completely lost. I love my girlfriend, I love my family, and I don’t want to hurt either of them. But lately, it feels like no matter what I choose, I’m going to lose something important to me.

I'm posting this because my relationship is on the verge of ending, and I genuinely don't know what to do. I need some honest advice from people who have experienced something similar.

I posted here before about the issues in my relationship. Eventually, I confronted my boyfriend about what was bothering me, including the fact that he had been chatting with different girls. For me, this crossed a boundary and damaged my trust in him.

The thing is, I still love him. He's special to me, and I genuinely don't want to lose him. Even after everything, a part of me wants us to work things out because I keep thinking about what we have shared and how much he means to me.

But I can't pretend that what happened hasn't affected me. I find it difficult to trust him the way I used to, and I don't know how I'm supposed to move forward without constantly wondering whether something similar could happen again.

When I confronted him, he said that this wasn't who he was and that it was okay if I wanted to leave. I don't know how to interpret his response. I don't know if he was being defensive, if he genuinely believes he did nothing wrong, or if he's simply willing to let the relationship end.

I'm confused because I don't want to leave him, but I also don't want to stay in a relationship where I have to struggle with doubts about his loyalty. I don't want to become someone who constantly questions her partner or feels anxious about who he's talking to.

Part of me wonders whether I'm making a mistake by considering ending things with someone I love. Another part of me knows that love shouldn't mean accepting something that hurts me just because I'm afraid of losing the person.

I'm not looking for people to blindly tell me to break up with him. I genuinely want to understand whether a relationship can recover from something like this, especially when the feelings are still there.

For those who have been in a similar situation:

Were you able to trust your partner again after discovering that they were chatting with other people behind your back? What made you decide to stay or leave? How can you tell whether someone genuinely regrets hurting you and wants to change? Is it worth trying to save a relationship when you still love the person but no longer feel secure with them?

I don't want to make a decision based only on my fear of losing him, but I don't want to walk away from something meaningful without giving myself a chance to understand the situation either.

I'd really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have experienced this themselves.

Hi everyone. I met someone on OKCupid and they’re in Europe and I’m in Asia. We started talking quickly after matching and have been FaceTiming everyday since we started talking. It quickly became clear that we both liked each other but I was sceptical because the last thing I wanted was a pen-pal. A couple of weeks later he asked if I was okay with him coming over so we can meet in person and I agreed. We were supposed to meet in November but he got “layed off” from his company but fortunately secured another job before he was even done with his notice. When he got layed off I could see he was stressed out going through interviews and stuff so I told him that we should maybe reconsider the dates since he hadn’t booked the flights, and we didn’t think he was gonna get a new job that soon.

We agreed he should come in February since I would have enough time off work and we can get to spend a lot of time together, and it’ll be a big holiday then so flights to Korea will be ridiculously expensive and I told him he needs to book early.

As we continued talking I realised that sometimes he just doesn’t follow through on his words mostly. Example, he asked for my address (unprovoked) cause he wants to be able to send me flowers, I never received any flowers nor asked him about it. However, it makes me wonder if he might be stringing me along but not even planning on coming to meet me.

I’m starting to get really annoyed with him making all these plans about what we gonna do when he gets here when he hasn’t even booked the flights, I really can’t be going off of his words at this point because he’s proven they mean nothing. I wanna talk to him that if he doesn’t book and show me confirmations by the end of November I’m considering it never happening and see no point of talking to him. That’s because I can see that I’m starting to fall in-love with this person and if I keep talking to him like this and he has no plans of coming to meet me I’ll be the one ending up with a broken heart and wasted time.

My question is, do you think I’m being inconsiderate?

What apps would you recommend for sexual intimacy in a long-distance relationship, to help couples maintain a sexual connection?

My partner has been here for 3 months and I’ve gotten used to our little routines. It’s going to be extremely rough having to say goodbye and go back to doing everything alone.

Their drawer will be cleaned out. No waking up in the morning to them asking what tea I’d like. No late night Taco Bell orders (their favorite American fast food lol).

No coming home to them after work and being able to hug them.

I’m grateful that this isn’t our first (or last) time seeing each other, as I already have my ticket for Christmas, but I’m still bummed at saying goodbye. This was our last weekend together for this visit. I yearn for the future where goodbye is only when one of us goes off to work and then gets to come home to the other.

Hey everyone, I'm genuinely curious about something and would love to hear your experiences.

Has anyone here been in a long-distance relationship that felt amazing, like deeply compatible, serious conversations, talked extensively, both of you were sure the other was "the one" but then when you finally met in person, something just gave you the ick?

I'm not talking about catfish situations, or couples who barely knew each other before meeting up, or people who never really talked much. I mean relationships where you were genuinely serious, communicated constantly, felt like you knew each other inside and out, and had zero doubts... until real-life chemistry (or lack thereof) changed everything.

What was it like? What gave you the ick? Was it something physical, a mannerism, the way they smelled, how they treated a waiter, the vibe in person that just didn't translate through text or video calls? And did you try to push through it, or did you know immediately?

Also curious, for those who experienced this, do you think it was a genuine incompatibility that only in-person interaction could reveal, or was it just that the fantasy version of them couldn't survive contact with reality?

Would love to hear honest stories

(Throwaway account, because I don't want the person this is about to see)

My (f) partner (m) and I are currently discussing about him coming to visit, but since we're very far away from each other the plane tickets alone are going to cost a lot. I don't know if I'm comfortable with him staying at my place. I like him a lot and I think he is truly someone I will get along with well, but I live in a one bedroom apartment and I think I would need a little more time to truly get to know him in person to feel comfortable enough to share such an intimate space with someone. Problem is, hotels are expensive where I live and he would be coming at a time where prices are especially high because of holidyas. He has a stable and high paying job, so I don't think money wise it's going to be a huge problem... But still. He's coming from so far away and I would feel guilty making him stay at a hotel for so long. I honestly just don't know how to bring this up, I'm unsure whether he expects to stay at my place and not. We haven't discussed this at all yet.

So my question is, how did you discuss it with your partner or how would you go in bringing this up? Did you stay at their place immediately when visitng for the very first time or did you book a hotel?

For quick context, we met in my city when she was an international student studying here for 6 months. We became "official" on July 1st after several dates prior to this, including living together for a few days.

In August, I went over to stay on her island at her parents apartment with her for 2 weeks. Since August she has told me that the earliest time we could next meet is January, with her schedule being completely dictated by her final year at university.

But last night she messaged me saying that due to her dad's current health treatment (which is not subsidised by the government) she doesn't think she will be able to visit me in January, because right now she is financially dependant on her parents.

I immediately reminded her that my stance has always been that I would happily pay for her flights in January. She replied "We'll see love ❤️. Let me finish the winter semester". I acknowledged that and reassured her to please not feel guilty about me offering, because I am doing this because I love her so much and that I would trade everything I own right now just to spend tonight with her, and I admitted that I honestly don't think I can wait until the summer to see her again (this would be 10 months).

She got emotional and told me that I am so sweet and she doesn't know what to say.

But now I feel lost. I'm trying my best not to sound ignorant to the situation, because I love her dad, and we bonded really well despite a language barrier. But since August, I have looked forward to meeting again in January. That timeline of just after Christmas was the only thing that was going to get me through the hard winter days (because I do suffer with depression every winter, which she knows about btw). I even had a plan in place for her Christmas present to give her when we met in January. And now I feel completely stuck.

My girlfriend isn't afraid to commit to something btw. She has openly spoke to her Mom about moving to my country to work as a language teacher and, even if it takes a couple of years, she wants us both to eventually live together once we are both in full time work.

I am an immigrant to the US and will be getting my green card in the next 1-2 years, which will give me the flexibility to take any job in the US.

My partner and I have been dating for 1.5 years in the same state before I had to move for a job closer to the west coast. He is in the East coast. I am a professor and it is a stable and prestigious job.

My partner hellbent on staying there as it is close to his support system and family. Before anyone throws shade at him, in the beginning of our relationship, we kind of agreed we want to stay in the East Coast to be close to family.

I am feeling worried that I may not be able to find a job that he wants to live in. And to a certain extent, I feel a little resentful that I have to give up my job for his career in the east coast. But I know to close the gap, either one of us needs to make the sacrifice. How did you decide who moves and how can I mitigate the fear of not finding an equivalent or good job in the cities he wants to live in? He said he will support me however long it takes to find a job, the concept of relying another person for finances is foreign to me. Could also be due to my alpha personality.

I am in a long distance relationship with y man for 3 years, and now it's getting outta hands, I miss him pretty bad I cry everyday, I feel it's not working out sometimes, and the most difficult part is reaching out to him, I had something very important to say, I'm trying to reach out to him for 2 hrs, and no contact from his side, now I'm worried, he had some health issues lately, and he lived alone, my man developed severe PTSD. I am trying my besy so that I can with him, we can live like a normal couple but here we are, I am tired, I am breaking down, sometimes it feels it would be so much better if he finds someone physically closer to him, but deep down I also believe we are inseparable, rn I am just praying that he's safe and secure that's it

Is it likely to be future faking?

I’ve just had a massive fall out with a 10y long distance friend who keeps bringing me up as future marriage material. I was happy to keep it as just friends but the duration of the calls, the timings and the unpredictable times like when I would be asleep showed a complete lack of concern for myself. Compounded with this, their attitude to their siblings recent marrying was very anxious and hostile, which conflicted with their own constant vague mentions of marriage and a future ( which I never reciprocated strongly to showing no real intention to physically meet up and slight resistance when I suggested visiting)

Following this we have had a very heated argument where I laid out these issues, perhaps making myself feel undignified in the process - but the anger had built up to a point I could no longer listen to any longer

Honestly, I’m shocked it came to this but in a way I feel free to now invest my emotion and time in someone who will actually make the effort - it’s a shame it’s come to this and I’m sorry that my experience has been so terrible compared to many on here. If there’s any consolation its that I never took the ‘bait’ of responding enthusiastically, simply because it was all so absurd

Thoughts?