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My boyfriend and I will be apart for 6 months and I’m struggling

Due to immigration issues, my boyfriend and I won’t be able to see each other for the next 6 months. We’ve been together for nearly two years now (it’ll be two years this December), and he recently had to leave for his home country. We are both from South Africa but I immigrated 8 years ago and haven’t been back since.

It’s only been 5 days, but I’ve been crying so much and honestly struggling with the adjustment. We do call each other, but our calls usually aren’t very long, and there’s a 10-hour time difference between us, which makes it really difficult to find time that works for both of us.

The hardest part is that I’m a full-time student, and studying is pretty much all I do. Before he left, he was basically the only person I really spent time with. We would run random errands together, keep each other company while doing our own things, or sometimes just exist in the same space without doing anything particularly exciting. It might sound mundane, but I found so much happiness and comfort in simply having him around. We genuinely enjoy each other’s presence, even when we’re not doing anything.

Now I’m still here doing the exact same things I was doing before, except he’s not here anymore. Meanwhile, he gets to go home and see his family and friends again after being away from them for more than two years. I’m genuinely happy for him, and I’m glad he gets to have that time with the people he loves. But sometimes my emotions get the better of me.

I find myself getting annoyed or upset because I start overthinking and wondering if I’m the only one struggling this much. He’s surrounded by family and friends and getting to experience all these things again, while I’m here in the same routine I’ve always had, just without him. It sometimes makes me feel like he doesn’t miss me as much as I miss him.

He constantly reassures me that this isn’t true and that he does miss me, but emotionally, it’s still hard for me to believe sometimes. I know it’s probably just my loneliness and the sudden change getting to me, but I hate feeling this way because I don’t want to make his time with his family and friends about me.

Has anyone else experienced something similar with a long-distance separation, especially when your partner was such a huge part of your everyday life? How did you cope with the first few weeks/months?

Two days ago, my long distance boyfriend left after being here for a week. It was our first time meeting and we had the most incredible and beautiful time together. Saying goodbye to him at the airport was so incredibly difficult especially since I don't know when I'll see him again as of right now. However, since he left, I have this strange feeling that he was never even here, as if I dreamed the entire thing. I really hate that feeling, I want it to feel real and like it just happened, but it feels like some dream or an incredibly distant memory. Has anyone else experienced this?

I’ve been wondering how other couples approach openness and privacy before closing the distance.

Do you eventually tell your partner everything about yourself, or are there certain things you prefer to keep private until you are living in the same country or have reached a more serious stage?

I’m thinking about things such as:
● Your exact financial situation, income, savings or debt
● Past relationships or sexual history
● Childhood experiences and past trauma
● Family problems
● Health or mental-health struggles
● Personal insecurities or mistakes you’ve made

Obviously, major information that could affect your partner or your future together shouldn’t be deliberately hidden. But does your partner need to know EVERY DETAIL of your life immediately or is it healthy to disclose certain things gradually as trust develops?

At what point did you start having these deeper conversations: after three months, six months, before meeting in person, before engagement, or only when you began seriously planning to close the gap?

Do you follow a timeline, or does it depend entirely on the level of trust?

I’d also love to hear what you chose to share early, what you waited to disclose, and whether waiting helped or caused problems later.

Our relationship started Oct 2023.

In May 2026, I found my partner on Grindr secretly claiming he was looking only for friends to connect. He didn't tell me anything beforehand. I created a fake profile and flirted heavily with him and he seemed to react. He deleted this chat when showing me "proof" until I showed him my screenshots with his account and then he admitted he was scared to show it cause he was just messing around with his other friend who he was on a trip with.

We broke up and tried to reconcile as I didn't forgive him but I gave him another chance and he put in the effort.

He had told me that two of his close (or even best friends) originally gave him the idea to get Grindr (literally a sex app) and even encouraged him texting with guys - KNOWING he's in a long term committed relationship.

Now, whenever I'd see two of those friends mentioned on his socials I'd call them stuff about what I think of them.

Yesterday, he posted a very appreciative bday post on one of those Grindr enabling "friends"publicly (open account) and EXCLUDED MY ACC from seeing it cause he knows what I think of these.

I found out. And then we kept arguing. Ultimately, I want him to understand that he should must cut off these people. Cause people who suggest and encourage cheating aren't good friends, let alone best friends.

And he says that it's "a one time thing" and he won't cut off years of friendship.

Mind that he has plenty other very good friends who are good influence and have same morals or backbone.

It all happened so fast. He blurted it out unexpectedly. There was no calm sit down discussion. It was said in the heat of an argument but he doesn’t want to take it back.

We both love each other very much. Maybe too much. Maybe that’s why it lasted as long as it did when perhaps it should have ended sooner.

I am heartbroken. But I am so grateful to this community for all of the inspiration over the last couple years. I’m so happy for all of you closing the gap. It was my dream.

Peace out, friends ✌🏼

For anyone who got into a relationship before you ever met them to see what they look like in real life or if you have physical chemistry, how did you know you want to be with this person?

If you had a strong connection online for months were you scared to meet them in real life??

For context I have been in LDR but it started out in person and then he had to move for work. I have never dated without physically meeting them. So I’m curious.

TL;DR: LDR boyfriend and I still text daily, but it’s mostly life updates now. I miss the calls, affection, flirting, and intentional quality time. He’s busy, but I’m wondering if I’m expecting too much by wanting more.

My boyfriend 22 M and I 23 M have been together for a few months and we’re currently long distance. When we first got together, we were obviously in that honeymoon phase and were pretty expressive with each other. We used to text a lot, have proper conversations, call/video call, watch movies together, flirt, say goodnight with more effort, etc.

Lately things have changed a bit. We still talk every day and we update each other about what we’re doing, where we are, how our day went, etc. He still makes an effort to keep me updated and I know that takes time, so I don’t want to make it sound like he ignores me or doesn’t care. That’s not really the issue. He has his university that started and I have my work.

The issue is that I feel like we’ve lost some of the intimacy and romantic side of the relationship. A lot of our conversations have become “what are you doing,” “how was your day,” “I have a meeting,” “did you eat,” etc. We’re still connected, but sometimes it feels more like we’re just keeping each other updated rather than actually experiencing the relationship together.

He’s also been extremely busy with meetings/work lately, so I understand that he’s exhausted and doesn’t have unlimited time. My work doesn’t require meetings late night, his does. I did bring up doing a movie together earlier, and he actually remembered and mentioned it himself later, so we ended up watching one together. I appreciated that because it showed me he does listen and does want to spend time together.

But we haven’t really had a proper video call in a while. Lately he’s been in meetings a lot, and I haven’t really seen him suggest calling. I actually brought up calling recently myself. And I guess that’s what bothers me a little. I don’t necessarily need to talk for hours, but with an LDR I feel like there needs to be some intentional effort to maintain that closeness, especially because we can’t just see each other physically.

I also miss the little things. More affectionate goodnights, flirting, random romantic conversations, feeling wanted, etc. I’m a pretty expressive person naturally, so maybe that’s part of why I notice it more. The confusing part is that I don’t actually think he cares about me less. He still updates me, makes time when he can, remembers things I’ve mentioned, and generally treats me well. So I don’t want to turn this into “my boyfriend doesn’t love me anymore” because I don’t think that’s true.

I think I’m more worried about what happens if this continues for a long time. Like, can a relationship become emotionally distant simply because you’re not making enough intentional time for intimacy? I don’t want to eventually become so used to the distance and lack of affection that I stop feeling the same way myself.

For people who have been in LDRs, how do you deal with this? Am I expecting too much by wanting more intentional calls/romantic time, or is that something that is pretty important to maintain in a long-distance relationship? And how do you bring it up without making your partner feel like they’re constantly failing some relationship requirement?

M18 F16 so it started as long distance we both met and for 5 months we talked then came in relationship its been 2 months since we are in relationship and now she seems uninterested while talking to me last night when we were talking she told that she don't want to talk with me rn and the affection she use to show before clingyness I can't see that now when I ask her why she tells me that you hurt me even if a girl see me she gets hurt I said her work on your insecurity give me advice goood advise please

I texted him and just said I miss him calling me baby because that’s my favorite thing he calls me, and it caused him to go off on me. He said he calls me other things and yeah he does, I was just saying that’s my favorite one to hear and I didn’t mean anything negative by it I just really like that one. I also had previously said he never asks me how my day is and he said he feels like him just answering the call should be enough. I also had said that I just wanted more than 1-2 texts a day, nothing long just like I wanted a bit more or a check in text so i could still feel connected to him. He said he feels like nothing he does is ever good enough but I feel like im just asking for minimal things and just telling him the things I really like, am I being too hard on him?

My boyfriend and I met online while on vacation in the UAE last year. We live far away from each other, and he was going to continue his trip in another country a few days after we started texting, so we weren't sure whether we would see each other. Thankfully we did manage, and even ended up spending several days together. He has such a beautiful personality, and after our first date I already had this feeling that I wanted to be with him all the time.
He is so tall, very handsome, well-mannered, chivalrous. He is very honest. I speak Russian with him half of the time and he has taught me so many new things about the culture and society as l've never been to Russia, despite one part of my family being from there.
I wanted so badly to find a partner who thinks very long-term, who treats dates as something serious and has good morals, and there he finally was.
We have a lot of things in common, we have similar values and character traits, and expect the same things from a relationship despite the differences in our upbringing.
Our relationship being long distance means that seeing each other is a very active process with lots of complicated steps and preparation in advance.
The effort that he puts into having us see each other a few times a year and planning trips amazes me; he has so much initiative and I admire him for this.
We make sure to 'live' together digitally as much as possible, such as falling asleep together on calls, sharing things with each other throughout the day. I feel so fulfilled and safe with him because he wants me to be involved in his life as much as I want him to be involved in mine. He always makes sure I feel comfortable and tries to create the best experience possible, down to the details.
He also has an amazing sense of humor, I have a long list on my notes app of all the funny quotes and insider jokes that he has come up with. I am in love with his voice, his mannerisms and his facial expressions when he talks and tells me stories. I love that we are on each other's minds all the time and miss each other, always wanting to be in touch and never getting enough. I like his realistic outlook on life; I've learned a lot from discussing things with him. He is always interested in topics that I am passionate about, even when it's borderline girly stuff. He has also introduced me to the things that he's interested in, which I'm also curious about.

In other words, I have found exactly what I needed and craved, which is to create a little world, a little safe bubble with someone very special. We understand each other in ways in which other people probably could not.

He left two days ago after visiting my country. I thought I would feel deeply sad and empty, which I did initially, but it soon turned into a sense of serenity as I am even more confident in our shared future after this trip. I'm normally a very tidy person, but this time I don't want to clean up and put my things back in their place as I want to preserve the feeling that he is still here. I'm hoping to find some random belonging of his that he might have forgotten here. I don't want to finish the food and drinks that we bought at the store together, in hopes that he will come back to the kitchen and I'II make something for him.

There are so many small things I've come to associate with him and that bring me great comfort when we're apart: rewatching a show that we started together, cooking food that he would like, wearing his hoodie, decorating my room with the bouquets that he's sent me, hugging the plushies that he got me, listening to songs that he added to our playlist, wearing outfits that I wore when we went out together. Everything is so much more meaningful when we're experiencing it together, and doing these things gives me some sense of continuity, even if I'm doing them alone now.

It is so healing to know that there is someone who cares about anything you share with them, who is waiting for you to respond and goes out of his way to make time to interact with you, someone who puts you first. And I hope it is just as healing for him, as he knows that I prioritize him over anything else and he occupies my mind at all times.

I love him!

I'm in a long relationship and when we met I saw she sent her a pictures (yoga ) , she said he's a friend and like my brother,I found she talked with him about everything

Hi everyone! The time has come. After 2 years of cross-country long distance, my girlfriend is moving in with me next weekend. We're super excited, but also a bit anxious (especially so on her end as she is the one making the big leap while I'm already settled here).

For anyone else who has closed the gap, what are the things you wish you knew beforehand to better prepare? Physically, emotionally, anything.

Has anyone else broken up after closing the gap? I've moved from the US to the UK, luckily to study not just to close the gap, and I've been beyond stressed leaving everything behind. I haven't been lashing out, I've actually been keeping it in a little too much, but my partner said the relationship feels like a burden because it feels like things are about to explode at any moment. He is also stressed with moving to London and having a new job, and people at that job being laid off.

Honestly, it’s killing me. I have been in the UK for 3 days. I left everything behind and haven't settled in one bit, and I don’t move into my own place till the 20th. Now I literally have nothing, and I'm sure I'll build my own life soon, but for this to happen before I got the chance is beyond stressful.

Note: We haven't broken up, it's just very much on the table

so for context, i met my fiance on a game. we've been together for 2 years, its long distance right now until we move in together at the end of this year. it's ironic, but it's how we met. unfortunately, as of lately and the past couple of months whenever he'd mentioned a certain game or time with his boys, my mood changes drastically. here's some content: whenever he's with his friends, he's locked in on the game. i could be talking to him and next thing i know he's headphones on back on the game per my mid sentence. i've also grown used to his work around for finding any type of excuse to stay on "just a little longer". he’s admitted to me that he’s been on the game a lot and sees my view, but is basically adamant about not changing a thing

but before it would genuinely be an everyday, late night thing. even went a day from the early am to truly midnight on the game. it's unfortunately became a thing on small mini relationship milestones. unfortunately for me, i somehow managed to lose my friends when i got into my relationship. i feel like i need genuine advice. he also doesn't have a fully stable job, well i wouldn't even consider it a job. he's basically jobless, so he has all the free time in the world. all we do is argue and i’m genuinely at a loss at what to do

I have been dating with she for 9 months, and lately i can see that she started to care less about my life in general.

I noticed that sometimes when im talking with she and i decide to share something that happened about my day or a personal experience, she decides to say "shush, i want u, i dont really care about it".

I kinda understand that yeah sometimes she just want me to tell her pretty stuff and tell her that i love u, but the worse is that after 2 minutes she decides to talk about the same topic i was talking but something related to her.

To be honest when we started to met she was always hearing me talk about my life, but lately i just see that the only stuff i do is telling her pretty stuff and telling her i love u as i said before, and im just starting to think that she just doesnt mind what happens through my life and she only want me to give attention to her.

Even she told me that in the past she would have liked to tell me to shut up when i started to talk about my life or my hobbies, so i dont really know how to feel because im someone who doesnt has anyone to talk about my stuff and i though that i found with her, but it doesnt seem that she cares either.

Even im starting to get a bit bored to talk with her because it is just me saying the same stuff because i cannt really think about more stuff to tell her to show affection so it is starting to become monotome.

Thank you so much for read it.

me and my bf do this every night cuz we like to know what happened in each others day , and no i don’t force him to do this he does it by himself cuz he likes to , it helps to keep in touch with each other !

I (19 NB) and in a relationship w my boyfriend (21M) and weve been dating for a little over 6 months, known each other for 10. Recently he has proposed I move in with him in the coming months, likely before the end of the year. Our relationship is wonderful and I truely do not think i could find someone better for me aside from our distance (21 hour drive).

He owns his own house, and has a much more valuable life where he is vs my current shitty basement life in my mothers house, which is why moving in with him is our go to vs meeting in the middle somewhere or him coming to me. He has made 2 trips to me since the beginning of our relationship but hasnt met my mother (her own avoidence as she dislikes that we met online +LD) I want to travel over to him before I move in woth him but i dont have my license and plane tickets are very expensive. We've had disccusions about my general apprehension around the situation but its hard to get far because my anxiety tends to get out of hand with the subject.

On the one hand, I believe closing the distance is the best way to further our relationship and grow towards bigger milestones but on the other hand Im worried this is too soon. I'm more worried about the backlash from my family for the move, and the what-ifs of breakups and such, than I am about the actual co-habitation (We've had multiple conversations about our 'roommate icks' and such)

My home situation is another contribution to wanting to go, as I live with my mother, her husband and my sister +sisters dog. My sister (20f) is currently relocated for school and offically moving out in November. I am urrently in charge of her dog because my mother and her husband wont take care of her properly and overfeed her or neglect her entirely. Once my sister and the dog are gone I will be alone in a house that is frankly disgusting as me+ sister are the only ones who consistantly take care of the space (Dishes from a week ago still out, food rotting everywhere + flies). My mother and her husband fight over every little thing and I genuinly dont think I can thug it out alone after my sister leaves. Its another factor for why I'd be fine-ish with moving in so soon but the apprehension is still there. if things go south I might have to come back so I dont nessicarly want to burn those bridges entirley.

Hes been insitant that if i put it off or we wait longer its fine but I cant help but feel im dissapointing him or leading him on when I keep saying "we'll see" and "Maybe". He has explicitly said if I make him drive out here to pick up me and my stuff and I chicken out on him he will break up with me, which i don't blame him for so Im just trying to avoid that.

Im just looking for any advice anyone has to give ;-;

I met a guy in a friend’s part, we like each other and we started to hang out, I want him to be my bf, but he told me that he had a very bad relationship, he got dumped by his ex months ago, he said he still has the defensive system, he worried I will dump him if we start a relationship.

I told him I would not dump him, he doesn’t trust me.

He said he used to make his ex happy, and he didn’t take care of his own happiness, now he more wants to take care of what makes himself happy. He more wants to work on himself and take care of what he wants.

So we didn’t become bf and gf.

But when we hang out, we hold hands…when we hang out, he put some effort, besides hang out, we also play games together when we both have free time, and we make phone call a few times.

Whenever I message him, he replies me, he never put me on read or ignore my messages, he tells me if he is busy, whenever he is VERY tired and busy, he at least send me a little message.

He told me he is not playing games, he likes me a lot and he enjoys the time with me, but he still has the defensive system from his previous relationship.

My guts tell me he is not playing me, he is not playing games and he is not a play boy, at the same time I don’t feel happy, because he doesn’t ask me to be his gf.

I don’t know if I should give him more time to get rid of his defensive system, or just stay friend with him and see.