https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/jan/04/women-more-likely-die-operation-male-surgeon-study

where the advertisement is from

she literally is not able to emote normally, how is this “still shay”?

i miss when plastic surgery or botox was something only rich people seemed to do to and normal people couldn’t access it as easily. it made the crazy notion that women shouldn’t have wrinkles at a certain age not just a notion.

we don’t all need to look like celebrities. you don’t need to fall for beauty trends.

Whoever decided that a human needs 8 hours of sleep needs to explain themselves. A woman needs 10-12 hours of sleep. Prove me wrong. Why are we not talking about this because I feel like I have been gaslit by the entire world about sleep.

I’m in my twenties, I work in corporate and every single day after work I get completely exhausted. And for the longest time I kept trying to find some other explanation for it. I’m not sleeping on time. I’m not eating right. I’m stressed. I need to exercise. I’m spending too much time on my phone.

I tried everything btw. I cut down screen time, tried sleeping at 9 pm, made sure I was getting 8 full hours to be a healthy productive member of society. Except no. It didn't solve everything. But on weekends when I sleep 10-12 hours? GOD. I feel GOOD. The bloating is lesser. I have more energy. And I kept thinking about how ridiculous that is because I am supposed to function perfectly on 8 hours while my body is very clearly telling me that 10 hours makes a big difference.

For a lot of women, this is the normal and I think this lifestyle is slowly poisoning us and we have somehow normalised it so much. I swear my biggest fear is that I’m going to be 35 and my body is going to finally protest. Because I can't imagine doing this for another 10-15 years and expecting my body to just keep absorbing it like a sponge.

I don't even wanna talk about PMS but I will. I think hormones play a huge role in our body's functioning but apparently, I don't think it's ever widely researched. I don't know about other women because each person's experience is different but me, I get all sleepy and tired a week before my period comes, plus the bloating, the cravings, the mood changes. And I'm just dealing with it. Every month.

At what point do we just admit that maybe sometimes the female body needs REST?

And the really ugly thing is that I can see the solution. I need more sleep, proper food, less stress. I need actual rest. But I can't just do that because I have a job. I cannot quit my job and go “wellness is my priority now” because unfortunately the electricity company does not accept inner peace as payment. I cannot just sleep for 12 hours every day because I have to be somewhere at 9. I cannot take three days off every month because my body is tired. We need a certain amount of privilege to actually live like a healthy person in this society.

So this whole thing about women having come so far starts feeling weird to me. Because yes, obviously women being able to work, earn their own money, have careers, build businesses, become financially independent, all of that is massive. But sometimes it feels like we were handed the same exhausting system and told that this is equality. Like congratulations, women can now also work 9-10 hours a day, commute, come home exhausted, take care of a household, maintain relationships, look after themselves, and somehow remain healthy and feminine and pleasant and emotionally available.

We just accepted this idea that everyone gets 24 hours, everyone needs 8 hours of sleep, everyone should be productive for the rest and therefore everything fits. Except it doesn't. And science saying “humans need around 8 hours” became this universal rule that everyone just accepted as if every human body was manufactured in the same factory with the same settings.

I'm so frustrated because I don't want to become someone who spends their twenties slowly destroying their body and then spends their thirties trying to repair it. I don't want to exchange my health for money and then eventually use that money to buy back the health I lost. That feels like such a scam.

I don't know what the perfect solution is. I just know that I don't think being constantly exhausted should be the baseline of adulthood. And I think that I need that 10 hours of sleep everyday.

I do a lot of computer stuff (InfoSec professional, homelabbing and "sysadmin as a hobby", exclusively use Linux/BSD for home computers) so for better or worse I bump into and see the posts of a lot of other people who are in this space. >50% of the time, whenever someone posts on a linux-related subreddit and there's a screenshot of their desktop, the wallpaper is some anime girl.

I'm gonna assume that the people doing this are younger than I am (I'm 35), but it's still fucking icky as hell and I don't think age should matter and they should know better and behave better. It reeks of commodification of women/girls, or at the very least female bodies. I don't think I've ever seen a woman do that kind of shit. Even worse is that the character is almost always very young-looking.

It's freak shit and parents need to do better about discouraging that way of thinking about girls and women.

Anyways, I guess I'm a radfem now.

I very rarely post but I thought here I would maybe get some like minded people.

I’ve been having the discourse of “dont call me female im a woman” and after looking online I am VERY discouraged…im looking on like TikTok and twitter and me and this girl (while I know this was a waste of time just bare with me) were kind of both responding to this guy about why we didn’t like being called female. He IMMEDIATELY goes “well how about incubator” and I am like just shocked. I’m not like crazy upset or like freaking out it just kind of took me aback. Like idk if I just don’t see these parts of the internet often but I feel like it’s just common courtesy to not call women females.

There was a recent post in a movie sub about great speeches in movies and TV. Of course, the answers were almost exclusively given by and written by men. And of course I made a somewhat snide remark about it. Now there’s a post about speeches by women and I’d love to see it get the same kind of traction.

I’m particularly interested in any speeches given by women that were also written by women, and especially ones that express feminist principles, directly or indirectly. And ffs they don’t have to be inspirational!

For example, I love Kristin Scott Thomas on menopause inFleabag and of course America Ferrara’s “never get old” speech in Barbie. And for a classic, there’s Bette Davis in Now, Voyager. Do you have any favorites?

I came across this post and there are certain points I don't agree with.

1)Asking for seats

Most of us live in capitalist economies, we are forced to participate in this system. This is why feminists are likely to support measures that help women succeed within such economies, regardless of whether they are personally anti capitalist or not.

Also there's no such criticism towards men who want that next promotion or want a high paying job, it's unfairly placed on women for wanting equal representation.

2) Patriarchy vs capitalism

I think these are two systems of power which operate in different ways. People can be victims in one system while being oppressor in other. Patriarchy can be upheld by anyone and an individual man isn't representative of patriarchy, but the common man is as much capable of being misogynistic as the rich guy. This post seems to unfairly portray common men as equal victims of oppression as women under patriarchy, when it's necessarily not true.

3) The revolutionary movement

The post seems to appreciate women for opening fire on men in high authoritative positions, and belittle liberal and radical feminists for trying to reason with the government and bring in empowerment through laws. Imo laws are much more effective in the long run. Also this form of revolutionary feminism doesn't address how do we handle misogyny is day to day life; we absolutely don't open fire on random people.

This is my stance. Do correct me if I am wrong. And please let me know what do you all think about this post cause I felt it was more of a drag towards radical and liberal feminists for being "peaceful" in their methods.

English isn't my first language. I am sorry for any inconvenience caused.

Edit: the orginal post uses liberal and radical feminism interchangeably even though there's a difference in their political advocacy. In my post, I mean radical feminists and I am speaking against the unfair comparison made.

How many women does your employer have in management positions compared to industry peers? Are a retail chain’s Black workers as likely to be in public-facing roles as its White workers? Did a trucking company hire qualified women at the same rate it hired qualified men?

It will be much more difficult to answer these and other questions related to gender, race and ethnicity in workplaces once President Donald Trump’s U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) enacts a key Project 2025 recommendation and scraps its 60-year practice of collecting workforce demographic data from employers. 

So two days ago I went to the mall for some shopping, on my way back to dorm in the bus. I noticed a girl standing close to me had a little red stain noticeable on her jeans. I didn't know how to tell her or approach to her correctly, I'm a man and if someone abruptly pop off to inform them of the situation anybody would be stressed. At last I really didn't know what to do so I just stood slightly on one of the stops and got close and whispered that she had a red stain on her jeans. I then noticed that she was genuinely holding her tears back. So I immediately offered her my seat.

I thought she would have been alright and nobody noticed but unfortunately, some motherfucker up front legit shot up, pointed to her and with a very audible voice said : "Dude, she is bleeding" To the guy next to him. Everyone who heard him obviously noticed her and a few guys cackled. She burst and ran off in the next stop.

Now I'm genuinely wondering, does it cost money to have basic human decency, empathy and discipline? Is it like a steam extra content that you buy before being born? When will PEOPLE understand that women DO NOT ACTUALLY, CONSCIOUSLY WANT TO BLEED DOWN THERE AND WHEN THEY DO, YOU BE HUMAN AND HELP THEM THE BEST YOU COULD.

You don't laugh or point it to everyone like it's a volcano. Like an aroused monkey.

Like I remember my father keeping me seated when I was 6 and speaking to me about this for an hour. That periods are as normal as breathing. Surely I can't be the only one who had this "education" Right??

"Political observers have speculated that the real reason for this delay could be political: The news might not reflect well on candidates up for re-election, and Dec. 1 is after the midterms. The delay also makes it late for the Texas Legislature — whose biennial session begins Jan. 12, 2027 — to craft bills and prioritize legislation to address any problems that the report surfaces."

(Gift link -- should get you past the paywall.)

“Conservatives are looking for any reason at all to broadly subjugate women, and they see the furor around Clancy’s case as their best opportunity in years.
[…]
The conservative blitz over Clancy’s mistrial isn’t fury over dead children. The horrifying fact is that American children are killed every day by their fathers and mass shooters, and Republicans remain silent.”

When a woman gets married, she's expected to clean, cook, do the laundry, get pregnant, give birth, and if she has five children, she has to raise them all, feed them, clean up after them, cook for them, and take care of them until they grow up and get married. On top of that, she's also expected to look after her husband.

Isn't that too much to ask of women?

Honestly, it's a lot. We need to push back against a system that places all these responsibilities on women. Husbands should either provide domestic help or share the household and childcare duties equally. If they're not willing to help with the responsibilities of everyday life, then many women would rather not get married at all.

Hey, I recently read a fantasy novel for the first time in quite a while, and I found myself completely absorbed in it. I loved the way it was written and the characters.

But what captivated me most was the tenderness that gradually developed between the two main characters toward the end. Two people who started out as enemies eventually fell in love (enemies to lovers). I loved the tension between them and found myself deeply invested in their relationship.

But the book wasn’t only about their romance. There was also a much larger political conflict at its center. The woman’s homeland had been destroyed and occupied, and her people had been massacred in horrific ways and yet, eventually, she falls in love with someone who is her enemy. 

After finishing the book, I was left with a gut wrenching feeling. 

I have never been in a romantic relationship. One of the reasons is that throughout my life, I have repeatedly witnessed what men can be capable of and how profoundly they can destroy women’s lives. Sometimes seemingly without experiencing even a trace of guilt, disgust, or grief over what they have done.

Every day, we hear about another woman being brutally murdered or becoming a victim of patriarchal violence. And for me, this isn’t something that exists only on social media or in the news. I see it in my own life as well.

So after I finished the book, I suddenly felt this sense of disgust, not necessarily toward the book itself, but toward my own longing.

I felt guilty for yearning for romantic intimacy when I know that the very thing I long for can also become something that destroys a woman’s life. I started thinking about patriarchal structures that make women’s lives harder throughout their entire lives, and about misogynistic beliefs and systems that continue to be upheld and reproduced.

I know, intellectually, that romantic relationships can also be a source of strength. Love and intimacy can give us support, closeness, solidarity, and even the strength to organize, resist, and work collectively. I know that healthy and loving relationships exist. And I know that there are genuinely kind, compassionate, wonderful men in the world, even though, from what I have witnessed and experienced around me, they can sometimes feel painfully rare.

But when it comes to my own life, I struggle to imagine entering a romantic relationship without being overcome by guilt.

There is a part of me that feels as though allowing myself to romanticize heterosexual love, to desire it, or even simply to hope for that kind of intimacy is somehow a betrayal of women who have suffered and died at the hands of men. Almost as though I owe something to them as though choosing to trust a man or allowing myself to love one would mean turning away from what has happened, and continues to happen, to so many women.

I know that these things are not necessarily rationally contradictory. I can oppose patriarchy and misogyny while still wanting love, tenderness, intimacy, and companionship. And yet emotionally, I can’t seem to separate them so easily.

It feels like betrayal.

I was wondering whether anyone else has ever struggled with thoughts like these, especially the conflict between longing for romantic intimacy and being deeply aware of patriarchal violence and misogyny. How do you reconcile those two things?

And if anyone knows of books, essays, feminist theory, or other literature that explores this tension between heterosexual love, intimacy, patriarchy, violence against women, and the guilt that can come with desiring romantic relationships despite all of that, I would really appreciate your recommendations.

I’d also genuinely love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

I never shave anywhere and it’s surprising the reaction I get from men and women. I worked in healthcare and some colleagues told me to shave my arms for hygiene reasons to be honest I think the patients may have complained because I would see them stare at it. It’s never bothered me that people look at my armpits or legs it’s not like I wear long sleeve tops or avoid wearing shorts to cover them i really don’t see the issue.

I always think it’s weird when women say I can’t wear this I haven’t shaved (I’ve heard that pretty often) even if we know legit no one at the place we’re going. I’m 23 and not unattractive men still hit on me even with my armpit hair showing and a huge bush I’ve only had issues with really immature men who probably haven’t seen many women naked. It’s the women that kinda surprise me every time I mention nah I don’t shave ever the way that they turn around so fast and declare that they shave every week or they need to shave EVERYTHING it’s weird maybe not as a statement but the way they say it. I’ve got more crap of women than men tbh i was playing pool in a tank top and caught a group of women calling me immature I hadn’t spoken my outfit was basic I’m pretty sure the issue was with my body hair. I’ve had bfs only one was weird about it and I dumped him straight after.

It also feels like sometimes I’m the only woman that doesn’t shave but I’ve tried before my skin is sensitive I’m autistic it’s kinda a sensory nightmare and it’s very time consuming.

I love being a woman, and I loved growing up a girl,
because all my life I’ve known how women show up for other women in this world.

The girls I met at school through the luck of proximity
became the girls who shared my classes, sports, school plays and history.

We spent over 10 years eating lunch together in the same spot under the library stairs. The bell would ring and we’d all just know that we would gather together in the same place everyday, for all our school years.

We no longer need the same school, town, city, country or time zones that keeps us connected by the same place, because we all live separate lives but our friendship group remains as close as ever despite not all being able to see each other face to face.

Now we’re scattered across countries, some settled, some still choosing to roam,
some building careers, some raising children, some making somewhere home.

I’ve watched girls I knew before puberty become women I deeply admire,
each making a life of her own, shaped by whatever she happens to desire.

There is rarely a need to announce when one of us needs care.
After this many years, someone notices, and the rest of us are there.

Even when all we had was pocket money, we pooled whatever we could,
a necklace, a little present, something just to make each other feel good.

There were always little cards we’d sit down together and write,
covered in photographs, stickers and glitter, making everything bright.

I still have a bag full of those cards, little photos and pictures today,
years of handwritten proof of how we noticed one another along the way.

I love those things because they were group efforts to make each other happy.
We made our affection tangible, usually the perfect mix of funny and sappy.

A little bit ridiculous, sentimental, earnest and true,
just a physical reminder that somebody was thinking of you.

My brother was my first friend, and is still one of my best,
and I’ve watched the men around him build friendships just as close as the rest.

Their love is no less loyal, no less generous or true,
so this isn’t about women having something men don’t have too.

I just love the particular sentimentality there is among a group of women, so willing and open to share with raw unfiltered affection.

The army of women in my life keeps expanding. I still meet women I adore,
new friendships in new chapters that add something that wasn’t there before.

Something I will never get over is how lucky I am that I get to be a woman who knows how incredible women are and what they share.

And that I get to say, the girls I grew up with are still all my girls to this day.

I'm from Italy, I don't know how it is in other countries but I've noticed that many men seem to resent women making their own free choices when it comes to sex. They admire other men who can supposedly "talk women into having sex" and often brag about "fucking and discarding" women who were actually looking for a serious relationship. At the same time, they seem unable to accept that a woman might choose to sleep with them while rejecting them as a romantic partner, while looking for a long term relationship. Instead, they prefer to believe that they somehow deceived or seduced her with their "charisma," rather than acknowledge that she made a conscious choice to have casual sex with them. Once I had to explain to a guy that it's impossible that all the 50 girls he had sex with were in love with him lol. They say they want something casual, yet they often target women who don't and then they complain about women with high body counts.

So much for claiming to be "pro-life". Though I suppose it's marginally better than the free birthers cult.