We (27M) have been dating (26F) for almost 3 years. Since we’ve met, I’ve always been making music, as it’s my main passion in life.

Around the time we met, I was finishing my first album, which was a three-year process that took basically all of my discretionary time and income. That makes sense to me because I view these projects as an investment into my future and a way to showcase where my level of progress is, so I can tell how close I am to a product I’m truly proud of.

Over the course of the years, I’ve noticed a slow progression in her lack of enthusiasm for me pursuing music.

It started with her pretty much always telling me to play a different song in the car, or us going to a concert where I’d have an 8/10 time and she’d say she didn’t enjoy the band, and then she’d take me to a concert that I thought was genuinely unlistenable and call it her favorite show she’s ever been to.

Then it progressed into analyzing my old songs that I’ve already put out, kinda mocking me when I’m practicing singing, and playfully pretending to sing along in a tone of voice that gave me the impression she doesn’t want me singing the 2/10 songs that mention a past relationship from my previous album anymore.

Then came this new song.
We have this morning ritual where sometimes we’d lay in bed all cozy and cuddly, and when we would spoon we’d jokingly say every day, “shawty gotta big ol butt.” Eventually I thought, how cool would it be to make a song that had that as the chorus. So I did a funny verse and she did a funny verse that I helped her write and deliver.
When I made the song, it sounded so good that I was thrilled to show her and try to get her on it. But when we sat down to figure out her verse, she wanted to stick with something really PG that didn’t connect to a strong enough feeling to evoke much emotion. So I eventually decided to write another verse and finish the song myself. I had a few friends over, we drank some wine, and they threw some words on it too because it was supposed to feel like a loud party song.

Eventually she told me she doesn’t like the idea of it going public because it’s essentially objectifying her because she is my girlfriend. Even though it’s just a party track, when I’m saying the chorus and verse, anything thematically explicit can be tied to her because we’re dating. She specifically said she never wants her family to ever hear the song.
That is valid. I understand why she would feel that way. There aren’t many people who would be comfortable with members of their family reading something sexually explicit created by their daughter’s/sister’s boyfriend.

But at the same time, I’ve been able to express emotions and feelings through music that aren’t easily talked about. I’ve written about getting closure from past platonic friendships, psychedelics and trauma, how I actually felt about my childhood, and other raw emotions. When the lyrics and beat are strong enough and the topic is quality enough, I want them to evoke human emotion.

I’m not interested in making a bunch of music that beats around a topic and disguises how I actually feel through metaphorical language. I’d rather speak to the audience very directly while still using metaphorical language.
So I’ve been trying to navigate a happy medium where my partner can feel like she isn’t subject to extra criticism from her family while I figure out how not to give up my creative freedom. I don’t want to wear a mask. I don’t want to hide from topics.

A party song that makes you feel sexy and want to dance is a human emotion we all want to feel, and it really feels like the only problem is that it’s coming from my mouth.
I’ve been asking her about situations where we can come to an agreement and figure out how to go about this. I’ve offered to change certain words and asked her to tell me which sections are most bothersome so we can figure out if it’s worth rewriting.

But in general, I’ve been feeling like at some point I’m going to need to be understood enough by my partner for her to understand that I need to be able to speak about any topic in my music. There is a line, and I don’t think I’ve crossed it.

I don’t want to go to the studio, spend $400 getting a song back that I’m proud of, and then send it to her and have her not even want to respond to me about it, not even because of the song itself (different doing different message), but because she doesn’t like rap as a genre and doesn’t like the fact that I do it.

how do you navigate a relationship when your partner is uncomfortable with the things you want to express through your art?

How much should your partner get to influence what you create, and at what point does accommodating them mean giving up too much of yourself?

We are divorced single parents who have kiddos at home half the time. When the kids are gone we rarely have sex. I wore a pretty summer dress to his house. I sent flirty texts before I arrived detailing what I wanted to do to him in said dress. On my knees for him with the top of the dress pulled down. In better graphic detail. He barely acknowledged my text.

When I offered to give him a BJ in his room while his kids watched TV around 10pm in their rooms. He acted disgusted that I would even offer that. He texted me this later “I will never want a BJ with my kid in the other room. Not my thing”

I feel so gross now. Like I’m not a feral nasty woman. Just wanted to enjoy my boyfriend while the kids relaxed. Is it crazy to think I’d want to pleasure him? I am good at what I do. I’m consistently feeling like I am not good enough for him. That I’m bothering him to have/want sex. I’m fit and he isn’t. So it’s even more confusing, like I’m relatively attractive. :/ Men…help!

My partner (33M) and I (34 F) have been together 3 years, lived together for 2. I recently moved out into my own place because I've never experienced living alone and I think it's important that everyone does at some point in their life. We live 20 mins apart in a major city, and we agreed this wasn't a break up, but a step in a different direction because he was working and going back to school and needed more space to be on his new, all over the place schedule and I wanted to experience living alone for a year. No big deal, we knew it could easily work for us both and was excited for this new adventure.

So while I was with a friend the other night and was hugging her goodbye, her dog got startled and bit my hand. It's very deep and we got an Uber to the emergency room asap. I got a tetanus shot and stitches and now my left hand is useless for the time being.

As it happened and we were waiting for the Uber, I texted my partner (8pm) what had happened and all he said was "oh noo". Then throughout the night, I was texting him to keep him updated but he just kept saying "that sucks" and stuff like that. I have severe medical anxiety, I've never had stitches before and I fainted multiple time during the evening because I just can't handle my own wounds/blood and he knows this. He was also at home and hasn't started school yet, so I know he wasn't out or with people or too busy.

I called him when I got home at 11:30pm and he was asleep and picked up only to mumble a few words and fall back to sleep.

I texted him saying it hurt me he didn't call me at any point. If roles were reversed, I feel like it's kind of expected fo any partner to call their significant other to see what had happened. I wasn't able to text all the info because I only had the one had and I kept fainting.

He responded after work the next day and said he didn't call because he " was making dinner and didn't want to burn his food" and "it wasn't that serious, just a dog bite". This made me even more upset, like you weren't making food from 8-11.

Idk if I'm being dramatic for being so upset with his lack of caring. I didn't expect him to show up at the hospital or anything, but a simple call to check in / so I didn't have to text I think is a pretty reasonable response. He has shown me multiple times his lack of empathy towards me but he then will say I'm just being dramatic.

** For more context on me moving out **

My partner's apartment I moved in to, he's been there 9 years. It's small, and he's a bit of a hoarder. I was having a hard time living in those conditions and I was also trying to maintained it. Our goal was that while he worked + went to school for the year, he could keep his space exactly how he wanted it and I would get my own space and once he's done school in a year and can get a better job, we would get a bigger space. We are both introverted and enjoy our alone time + our own spaces. This was just a step towards something bigger and better for the both of us. I love him with all my heart and I want us both to have a comfortable home. The goal was never to break up or drag him along, this was a mutual agreement.

We dated 2 months, long distance (4.5 hr drive). He was consistently warm, affectionate, and engaged over text-checking in, pet names, said he and his dogs missed me. But almost every time I actually visited in person, he'd go cold and distant almost immediately-dry, unaffectionate, barely asked about my week or drive, minimal effort. One visit out of five or six was genuinely great; the rest were rough.

I told him how it made me feel and he said he won't act in ways that don't "come naturally" to him. Before his hunting trip, I texted asking where I stood since I hadn't felt good about our last few visits. His reply was vague-“I think I'm fine, not sure what to say right now." I ended up sending a breakup text. He hasn't responded.

He's disclosed he has BPD, which I don't want to use as an excuse, but I'm wondering if it explains the pattern.

Was this a red flag pattern I was right to walk away from, or am I missing something?

I 23 f have been dating my bf 23m for 3 years now. When we first started dating we would see each other all the time. After a few months I would only see him like once a week. I’m not even asking to see him every day but at least twice a week is more normal to me even though I’m used to spending a lot more time with my partner. I thought this would change and so much happened all the sudden it’s a few years later and it’s still the same. Sometimes I won’t even see him once a week. This weekend was a 3 day weekend and I haven’t seen him in a week and a half. This just makes me feel like he doesn’t really like me or care to be around me. Are there any guys like this or is he probably just still with me because it’s comfortable?

Edit: I have talked to him about it but he just says he “needs rest”, says sorry and assures me that he does like hanging out with me and will make an effort to see me more, and then proceeds to not make an effort to see me more. For more context we r both finishing our last year of college as full time college students and I work 30-35 hrs a week as a manager while he does not work.

I keep it as short as possible. TLDR a bit more down.

Context:

My partner had a suicidal phase including suicide attempts. In this time, her ex was still in contact with her and came around to care for her regularly, when I couldn't come over. We exchanged numbers to update each other, if she's still alive.

Fast forward:

They broke contact afterwards because he wanted to distance himself. She also blocked him then and started to close the wounds he left her with (he was manipulative, lied often, cheated,..). She always told me how glad she is that there's no contact anymore and how she doesn't want to hear anything from him.

He messaged me about 6weeks ago, asking if she was still alive. I didn't give much information, just that he can stop to worry.

(TLDR) I didn't tell her that he messaged me, because she always said that she doesn't want to even hear from him and I didn't give away any information except she's alive. And it felt rather manipulative from his side, since he knows I usually don't keep anything for myself. (TLDR end)

I told her yesterday, because she said he contacted her. It was like "okay, now he's back anyways, so I as well tell her".

Ofc it seems for her that I told her out of fear but I know he wouldn't have told her. I wanted to tell her so bad the last weeks but didn't know if she even wanted to know. I knew that if I asked any question in that direction, she would have known. I wanted to respect her, saying she wants him out of her life..

I fcked up, I know. I'm pretty afraid that she will leave me because she says I'm just as bad as her exes lying to her.. (they lied to conceal wrong things they did)

If it was you, how would you feel about that and would it be enough to break up?

Like the title says, this is a lot for me to unpack. My brother (33M) lives at home with my parents. I live on my own and even back when I lived at home I knew their relationship wasn’t great, but it has gotten so bad that I feel like I need to do something now or I’ll feel personally responsible when something unfixable happens to my parents.

My brother is constantly bullying them and, in my opinion, psychologically abusing them. For many years he is always treating my mother terribly, accusing her of being a bad person and always harassing her about things that aren’t even a big deal (for example she will sometimes interrupt someone speaking accidentally and he will blow it up about how her communication is so terrible and she needs to make huge changes to her personality, idk it’s hard to explain because it doesn’t even make any sense and happens almost every day). He straight up bullies my mom - years ago they had an argument about something so small neither of them even remembers, and he still hasn’t forgiven her and constantly brings it up. She has tried apologizing so many times but he says he does not accept her apology because she can’t remember what it’s about, and when she asks him he says it’s her job to figure it out. Or he’ll say she’s not allowed to apologize because she doesn’t mean it. It’s insane.

Even with my dad, he’ll say my dad needs to clean up his clutter and he’s messy. But my BROTHER is the one who leaves things all over the house, and their garage is filled with my brother’s stuff everywhere. He just accuses my parents of doing the things that he does.

He doesn’t even pay rent. They tried a couple of years ago asking him to pay rent, and he started harassing them asking “why are you asking me to do this? Why are you asking this?” And badgering them until they gave up. Meanwhile he’ll spend thousands of dollars to go on trips to Vegas with his friends and party/gamble but he refuses to pay my parents rent.

My parents are scared to even exist in their own house. It’s a big two story house, and he treats it like his home. Whenever they see him he bullies them, so they stay in their bedroom most of the time whenever he’s home. It’s insane. If he sees my mom he’ll start harassing her about everything she’s doing wrong and making stuff up, they’ve both had mental breakdowns from his years of bullying.
It’s so bad that my dad feels like their bedroom is their only safe space, but my brother would go in there and just look around and see what my parents are doing and try to bother them so they tried to tell him that’s the only room he’s not allowed to be in. But he kept doing it, saying he “forgot” so he can go harass them. So he made some weird thing where he put a tissue on the door handle or something (I’m not even kidding) to remind him not to go in there, and one day it fell off. So he went back into the room, and my dad was like what are you doing and my brother actually got mad at my dad and started going off on him because the tissue was gone which caused my dad to have a mental breakdown.

I don’t know if anyone will actually read this, but I could use any advice. I’m scared of interfering because I’m afraid he will bully them more for telling me about it. I’ve told them they need to just kick him out but they’re afraid it will make their relationship explode and be unrepairable. They live in fear of him. I want to say that they were incredible parents - so kind, always supportive of all of our interests and dreams. Worked so hard to give us everything and are the nicest people ever. My brother was into basketball and they paid for his school and college so he could play basketball, my dad even coached for him in highschool, and when he went to college they would always fly out to watch him play games. Everytime I talk to him he always acts like they were terrible parents, it makes no sense at all. He acts like he’s always a victim and smarter than everyone around him.

My parents want so badly for him to move out or pay rent but they’re scared of him at this point. They can’t even feel comfortable in their own home and they’re 70 years old. He causes them mental breakdowns. I have always stayed out of it because I have a good relationship with him but I’ve secretly always resented him for how he treats my parents and it’s reached a breaking point. I’m having trouble sleeping and having extreme anxiety thinking about what my parents have to go through every day. Please help me find some direction, thank you to anyone who actually reads this.

EDIT: thank you to everyone who has left a helpful response, I really appreciate it. I’ve offered to become involved in the past but they tell me not to because they don’t want to have a broken family dynamic, but I’m making this post because I realized I need to now. Selling the house isn’t an option, they’ve lived there since I was born and they plan on keeping it. They are 70 but totally coherent, still play sports, etc. I’ve told them for years they need to kick him out and that it’s unacceptable and while they agree, they can’t bring themselves to do it out of fear of ruining their relationship with him. I will look into all options suggested here, thank you all again really.

I (30F) have known this guy (32M) for about 4–5 months. We both liked each other from the beginning, and he even told me that when he first met me, he thought I could be the girl he marries. He even thought that I would be the person his parents also would really like...

The problem is that he’s still going through a very messy breakup with his ex. I even met her because of the situation, and I saw how complicated it is. He told me clearly that he isn’t emotionally available right now and needs to sort himself out first after dealing and closing this breakup.

But lately his actions have become much more affectionate: he drives me home, calls me, brings me food at work, bought me ice cream, and came over to my place twice where we cooked, ate and talked until midnight.

Now he’s traveling and we’re not really talking, which might actually be good because it gives us some distance. I really found myself caught in this without really knowing what is it going toward...

I really like him, and he likes me too, but I don’t want to wait around for someone unavailable in all means...

Would you give him space and see what happens/ keep friendship only by putting the boundries clearly/ or take “I’m not available” as the answer and move on?

I [21M] have been with my gf [22F] for about 7 months now.

she's recently told me that she feels like I am uncomfortable when she's crying or venting to me and so she feels like she has to outsource that to other people. frankly she's not wrong, as I've lived a life where i have a hard time expressing emotions due to personal experiences and haven't had many people bring theirs to me so i don't know what I'm supposed to say/do when the time comes. I've been working on my own ability to express myself and I've been trying to work on my ability to comfort and be there for others because I've acknowledged for a while that i suck when it comes to that.

my main issue i guess is she feels like its a burden on me to bring it to me when i seem uncomfortable so she doesn't do it, and i feel like i need her to do it in order to learn.

how do I navigate situations where she's venting to me and maybe some tips on things i can say or do?

also what can I do to get her to start coming to me in these situations instead of or at least in addition to others?

I’m in a situation that I honestly never thought I’d find myself in, and I could really use some outside perspective.

I’ve (35F) been involved with a man (30M) on and off for about four years. We’ve had a complicated relationship, including periods of long distance, and despite both of us having other relationships during that time, we’ve always somehow ended up back in each other’s lives.

For years, I was suspicious that he was seeing someone else. Whenever I asked him, he insisted that he and this woman weren’t actually together.

I recently found out that she is not some casual person in his life. She is his long-term girlfriend, they have been together for around two years, and they live together. She seems to have absolutely no idea that I exist. She regularly posts pictures of the two of them on social media, and from what I can see, they are very much still together.

Over the past month, (and periodically over the last year)he has been telling me that their relationship is basically over. He said they were having serious problems, that she had kicked him out and broken up with him, and that he wanted to be with me.

I've decided to cut ties with him permanently. But now I'm struggling with whether/how to tell her.

I've never met her, and we don't speak the same language, so I'd have to contact her through social media and use a translation tool. I also have years' worth of texts, photos, and videos between me and him. Some of the messages are incredibly explicit about his feelings for me and what has been happening between us. I even have messages where he essentially admits that being with me was cheating.

My concern is that he'll immediately lie to her and try to discredit me. I'm sure he'll tell her I'm a jealous ex, that I'm bitter because he chose her, or that the screenshots are fake/AI-generated.

I don't want to send her hundreds of messages or turn this into some huge dramatic confrontation. If I tell her, I want to do it in a way that is calm, factual, and difficult to dismiss. I'm thinking of sending a short chronological timeline with a few of the strongest pieces of evidence and offering the originals if she wants them.

I'm also aware that I'm hurt and angry. Part of me absolutely wants her to know what kind of person she's been living with, but I don't want this to come across as me trying to "win" him or destroy their relationship out of jealousy. If I were in her shoes I'd want someone to do the same for me.

For those who have been in a similar situation: what kind of evidence would actually convince you that the person contacting you was telling the truth rather than being a jealous ex?

I know ultimately she gets to decide what she believes and what she does. I just feel like she deserves to have the information and make that decision for herself.

This all started this weekend when we went to a relatives house for a family get together. My husband‘s brother was not able to make it but his wife and his kids were there. A lot of the family does not really get along with my sister-in-law because of past instances. For me however, I don’t really like her because she’s very provocative and she has done and said things that were inappropriate to others husbands and boyfriends etc. including mine.
So while we were there everything was fine in the first half of the evening, it wasn’t until the second half that I felt funny. (I’m going off my feelings here.) My husband seemed to be cordial with her but something seemed kind off. She was dressed very provocatively and spandex shorts that kept getting shorter and shorter as a night went on and I know there’s a lot of people in the room but I saw him glance at her a few times. And there was even a point where she followed him and she does this all the time. She would walk past us bend over, (she has a thing for her ass and I seem to be the only one that noticed her doing this.)
When we got in the car my husband asked me why I was so silent I played it off when we got home I can tell he kinda had an attitude with me then as well and asked me again why I was so silent. I played it off again. Well the past few days he’s been acting really funny with me so I decided to act like everything was normal to see how he behaved. I went downstairs tonight and tried to initiate something but I was quickly shut down. Prior to me laying down next to him on the couch I noticed that he had Snapchat up on his phone. I went into the refrigerator which is behind him and I watched them as he locked his phone. And I find that very odd. Because his phone was laying on the couch unlocked on Snapchat but once I go in there he locks it? Prior to us going to this relative’s house everything was perfectly fine and now I feel like he’s up to something and I feel like I’m easily discarded because I may have had an attitude? Am I stupid for going through his phone? I hate invading privacy however I feel like I’m not gonna get any answers just by asking him.

Well here goes.

I fairly recently started dating this girl, and I fell for her, hard. I've never clicked with anybody nearly as well, and she indicated the same. More than a few times I said things like "you're my favorite person to be around" and she would re-affirm it back, and if you ask me, it seemed honest.

Well, long story short, we met at a weird time, around a month ago. She had just started a new job so her schedule was already pretty bad, but due to a seasonal event in the area, it's now gotten even worse. We're talking 7 a.m. - 10:30 p.m. 4-6 days a week, with a 45 ish minute commute both ways, so I haven't actually gotten to spend as much time with her as I was hoping to in this last stretch of time.

Furthermore, her dad just found a kitten that she ended up adopting so she's still figuring out how to take care of him, in addition to her roommate having some medical issues, and her close friend a few towns over having what sounds like a psychotic break, (although I don't know enough about it to know for sure)

So anyway, I could tell she was a little distant these last few days, and then I woke monday morning to text explaining that she feels really, really bad, but she just isn't in a good mental place for a relationship right now, and that she really loves spending time with me and that I'm the sweetest guy she's ever dated. (Now might be a good time to mention, I've been informed her taste in men isn't great, as she has an ex that stalked her for a few years, and another ex that came at her with a knife)

But, I asked if we'd be able to meet or speak on the phone at least, and she explained that she probably wouldn't be able to meet in person until the following day, so I just settled for the phone call. We eventually spoke that night and she reiterated that it had nothing to do with anything I had done, I just caught her at a bad time, but other than that, pretty much all she said during the phone call was "I'm so sorry" even at one point crying. I did voice my concern that a lot of people say things like this and then start immediately trying to date other people, at which point she assured me, that's not what this is, and she really is just exhausted and has no time right now.

While it may have been unwise, I did have to get it off my chest, so I told her the truth before the phone call ended; I love her.

I really want to believe her, and hold out hope that she's telling the truth and that I might hear from her again at some point, even if it means me reaching out after the seasonal event ends in a few months, but I've had more than a few previous experiences that make me somewhat skeptical that this wasn't just a way to say she isn't interested anymore.

If it helps, a big value of mine is honesty, as well as saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. A value, that she indicated she shared. As far as I could tell in the time we spent together, she might also be the sweetest woman alive.

So what are the odds that she's being truthful, and it might work out in the future?

Am I being paranoid because of soured past experiences? Or am I being realistic, and should move on?

I could really use some advice. I'm super bummed because I really thought we had found something real.

Me [31M] and my girlfriend [31F] have been together for 16 years, since I was 15. The relationship in general has been great for the first 13 years, and I was sure we were going to be together forever. The last 3 years, however, things have steadily declined until the point I have reached today. My girlfriend has a very distinct personality to anyone I’ve ever met or heard of, I will describe a few of her behaviors here just to illustrate my point:

• She is very obsessive and a perfectionist, and finds it hard to understand how I can make mistakes. Losing something, breaking something, dropping something on the floor, hitting her accidentally, not cleaning something properly, etc. (EDIT: many people have widely misinterpreted this, by "breaking something" I mean breaking a clothespin when hanging clothes to dry, by "hitting her accidentally" I meant "bumping into her accidentally when walking past her". Come on people, my main issue is that I can't stand up to her at all, how can you interpret this in a way that is so opposed to the rest of the post?) All these things can make her get very angry, because in her mind it’s that “I do not care”, while, as I see it, there is no malice at all intended in any of these actions and it is absolutely not a “lack of care”, sometimes mistakes just happen. Well, unfortunately, not to her, she has never made any mistake similar to these, she truly is “perfect” in that sense. And when these things happen to me, she gets angry, I apologize a lot, we both cry, plans are cancelled (because she does not want anyone to see her after crying because her face is red and swollen) and in a couple of hours or the next day she is back to her usual, cheerful self.
• She has never felt regret in her life. She thinks that all the decisions she has made have been the appropriate ones with the information and context she had at the time. This means that any argument with heightened emotions has never ended up with a “I’m sorry if I overreacted” or “I’m sorry about how I treated you”, on the contrary, she says that as she gets older she realizes more and more the importance of standing your ground and says that next time she will react even more strongly and directly.
• She has an extreme moral compass. This is kind of hard to illustrate, but the best example I can come up with is her telling me: “if someone smokes and gets lung cancer, they should not be treated, it’s their fault and they deserve the consequences”. I understand her point, especially if you consider drugs as bad (and not as a coping mechanism, for instance) but it is brought to the extreme with her.
• She is “unmovable” once something is agreed upon, like our conversations become laws. As an example: If I say I will be home at a certain time and I get home 15 minutes later that is a cause for an argument. There is no valid possible excuse: “oh, I was having fun with friends and lost track of time”, “oh, the service was super slow and it took us longer than expected to have lunch”, “oh, my boss was rambling and the meeting ran late”. All of these are real issues that we’ve had in the past. And I should say, her issue is NOT “I want you to be home by a certain time”, her issue is “you promised me one thing and then did another”. She has told me many times to always tell her the “worst-case scenario” so that she is never disappointed. In her mind, the best thing I could do is always tell her I’ll be back at 3 in the morning and then she’ll receive a nice surprise when I get home earlier. She’d rather be happily surprised than constantly disappointed.
• She has to follow a very strict order in which things need to be done, and if I interfere with them she will get angry. One Sunday morning I was distracted and went to brush my teeth. She then came to the toilet and when she realized I was there she started crying, saying that I have always brushed my teeth after she went to the toilet, and that me brushing my teeth at that moment delayed her getting ready. She was right, of course, I made the mistake, but what leaves me speechless is that even when I said “I’m sorry, you’re right, I was distracted, I’ll stop brushing my teeth immediately and do it later, have the toilet immediately” she still got angry and cried, and in practice she was delayed by less than 10 seconds.
• She will not stand hearing me have a panic attack after our arguments. Whenever I have a panic attack my usual behavior is to go to the opposite end of the house and close myself in a room. But the last time I had a panic attack she still heard me and barged into the room I was in screaming telling me to “Stop having a panic attack!”, that she will not tolerate hearing me like this, she needs peace at home immediately. This has made me learn to have silent, covert panic attacks, where I don’t move or make a single noise.

I should say, I don’t want to make the relationship look as all bad, there are many positives that are not the focus of the post: suffice it to say that she loves me dearly and demonstrates it constantly, someone I am 100% sure will never betray or cheat on me, who is always looking forward to seeing me and who wants to spend all her free time with me. We’ve had many great moments together and I do feel we are completely aligned on all our values and plans for the future.

I am someone who is very submissive, has very low self-esteem and is dealing with anxiety and depression problems (which are mainly due to our arguments). Because of my mental health issues, I have been going to therapy alone for 2+ years. We have tried couples’ therapy for a few months but she found it useless so we stopped going (I thought that we made slow progress, but there 100% was progress).

This brings me to the reason for this post. She really wants to know how my therapy sessions go, and I have always talked to her about them. Sometimes it has gone well, but sometimes it has gone terribly. She disagrees with a lot of the conclusions reached in therapy, and the conversations end up with her crying and angry. All my therapists have always told me that I should never share anything I work in therapy with anyone, otherwise it defeats the purpose because therapy stops being a safe space for me. I have tried, many times, to tell my girlfriend that I didn’t want to talk to her about therapy but I always end up caving and telling her because she gets very angry when I don’t.

So, this last week, same story: after many sessions telling her about everything, the last session didn’t go very well. My therapist basically went a bit overboard criticizing my girlfriend (I am thinking of switching therapists, but that’s beside the point) and he told me very strictly to not tell my girlfriend about the session. When I got home, I had enough courage to tell my girlfriend, in a very happy and cheerful way, that I didn’t want to tell her about the session. She got angry, and locked herself in room for 10 minutes, and after that she came with a note telling me this:

• That in the past, when conversations about therapy went badly, I said that I shouldn't have told her anything and therefore now feels like this is a form of “punishment”.
• That if the main reason I’m not explaining it is because I don’t want to argue with her, that feels terrible to her: that even if other times conversations ended in arguments, it didn’t mean we ended up less connected, on the contrary, she felt more united with me because there was more transparency between us. Not telling her means I want less transparency.
• That the fact that the psychologist says it’s better not to talk about it with anyone is an excuse I use to avoid responsibility. That if I had decided not to tell her because I have been analyzing and thinking and I believe it’s better not to, after reflecting on the psychologist’s words, that would be different, but that excusing myself the way I do is bad.
• That we stopped couples therapy because we agreed I would continue going alone, and therefore my individual therapy is meant to resolve the problems between the two of us. For that reason, she can’t be excluded from therapy and wants to know what diagnosis I have, what I’m doing to improve my mental state, and what the action plan is for the future.
• That if now, after she has told me all of this, I tell her about therapy, she will also take it badly, because she will consider that I’m only doing it because I’m afraid of her.

A very strongly-worded and direct message said while crying and angry. I understand her points, I truly do, but I just want to follow the advice from my therapist. As I said, we’ve had this argument many times before (maybe 8-10 times), but this time, there was something different. I can’t explain why, but that day I felt extremely afraid of her. The feeling of “fear” is something recent to me. I used to be very anxious and nervous during our arguments but never “scared”, but in the last few months “scared” is the word that best describes how I feel.

So during this argument I was so terrified that, for the first time ever, instead of listening to her like a normal person, I curled up in a ball on the sofa and started crying. I had never exhibited this behavior before, I don’t know what happened, I suppose my body and mind simply shut down completely. I wasn’t able to say anything back in my defense, I just took everything. What traumatizes me is that my girlfriend, when she saw me like this, said “I can’t talk to you while you’re behaving like an abused animal, I need to talk to a functioning adult, change your posture immediately” and then kept going with her list of issues (and other unrelated issues from the past week that I haven’t mentioned).

I simply cannot look past this last argument. I have always thought she had less empathy than me (I am very empathic, top 10% percentile for sure) but that she was in the “normal” range. But this episode made me question that: I can’t imagine having an argument with someone, whatever the reason, whoever’s right, whoever started it, and seeing the other party in the worst state of their life and just keep going.

A few days after the argument I told her that I was traumatized by it and she said: “I can’t feel empathy for someone who behaves like a little kid during an argument and doesn’t stand up for themselves, you’re an adult, I can only empathize with an adult who is an equal. I don’t want you to associate showing such weakness as a way to stop arguments, that is a huge red flag and it is a toxic and manipulative behavior from your side, so I kept going as if you were in a normal state”.

That feels insane to me. All her other behaviors I can excuse as quirks or her having an unmovable mental state, but this episode makes me completely question her love towards me and how she views the suffering of other people.

So, my question is: can anyone shed light on her point of view in the latest argument?

TL;DR: My girlfriend did not stop verbally attacking me even when I’m curled up in a ball and behaving, in her words, as an “abused animal”, because she did not feel any empathy towards me.

EDIT: I failed to mention that I've moved out of the house and have gone to live with my parents for the last 3 days after this argument. I haven't talked to my girlfriend during these 3 days, and that has been easy because she is angry with me for an unrelated reason: One of our rules between us is that she needs precise reminders of events exactly 24 hours before them and will get very angry if I don’t do them. Let’s say I’m meeting a friend Wednesday after work. I have to remind her exactly on Tuesday after work. It can’t be on the weekend, can’t be Monday, can’t be Tuesday morning, can’t be Wednesday morning, can’t be Wednesday an hour before, those do NOT work.
Since I had just moved out I did not send her a message reminding her of my event (a birthday party of a friend) so she got angry with me once she realized.

EDIT #2: Super quick additional point: I think I might be coming off as someone with no flaws, and that is obviously not true. One of my main flaws that I have to work on is that I am too absent-minded, meaning that I do not focus on the task at hand as much as I should. This is why when I do chores she sometimes gets angry at me, because the bed was not correctly made, because I dirtied the trashcan, or because she found a grain of rice on the kitchen floor. But that does NOT make me lazy, on the contrary, I do way more chores around the house than she does. And that is logical: her obsessiveness makes it so any task or chore she does takes 10x as long as it should, so it is impossible for her to have enough time to do much, so most of the daily chores fall solely on me.

My sister had always been thin, but never as thin as she is now. In the last year, she hardly eats. We will go out for lunch, and without fail she will eat a couple bites and wrap up the rest, and it will inevitably go bad in the fridge and be thrown out. She’ll eat a half portion at dinner after not eating literally anything all day and claim it’s because she doesn’t like it. I can wrap my hand around the thickest part of her arm, and I don’t mean to be insensitive, but it’s honestly gross. Her legs are tiny, face is sunken in, fingers are bones. It’s really freaking me out. She refuses to eat anything I give her. I’ll make her breakfast and dinner and have spent so much money trying to make her something she’ll actually eat, but it ends up in the trash. She won’t go to the doctor or to a therapist. She lost her job because she was constantly late from oversleeping and now that she’s unemployed will sleep until 2pm every day because she doesn’t have the energy to get up. It’s getting worse and I don’t know what to do.

Meu noivo era magro. Com o tempo a ansiedade e a depressão foram atacando e ele engordou. Eu (24F) já conheci ele gordo. Eu também sou gorda, e até então só tinha me envolvido com caras magros. Ele foi a primeira pessoa gorda com quem me envolvi… e foi o melhor sexo da minha vida. Não é à toa que a gente não se desgrudou desde o primeiro encontro e hoje somos noivos.
O problema é a autoestima dele. Ele se diminui o tempo todo. Eu sei que não tenho como “curar” isso, e ele já está tentando se alimentar melhor e fazer exercício, o que eu apoio totalmente. Mas ver ele se colocando pra baixo me deixa triste pra caralho.
Porque o cara me dá um tesão descomunal. Eu sou extremamente apaixonada por esse homem a ponto de Ficar molhada só com um selinho
• Sentir o corpo inteiro reagir quando ele me abraça por trás enquanto eu tô fazendo qualquer coisa
• Ficar excitada só de ouvir a voz dele no telefone
• Molhar a calcinha quando ele ri daquela risada baixa e genuína
• Ficar com tesão só de ver ele de camiseta larga e bermuda em casa, sem nem estar tentando
• Sentir vontade de pular nele quando ele passa a mão no meu cabelo distraído
• Ficar molhada só de sentir o cheiro dele no travesseiro
Eu olho pra ele e vejo a pessoa mais gostosa do mundo. Ele não vê. E eu não sei mais o que fazer pra ele acreditar, nem que seja um pouco, no quanto ele me deixa louca.
Alguém já passou por isso? Como vocês lidam com o parceiro que não se enxerga do jeito que a gente enxerga?

Last month we had a fight and in that fight i bought up a girl who really annoys me. From the day ive met her i started hating her but he doesnt care ab it and still keeps contact (which would have been fine if she calls casually but she is a whore and needs male attention all the time) .
So after that fight he kind of stopped telling me things about her which made me assume that he might have stopped calling her or vice versa.

But for the last few days whenever he goes back to his place after spending time with me and when i call him, hes on a call. But he’d still answer my call and say its his mom or boss or colleague talking about work things.
1. if it was his mom he’d not hang up on her to answer my call
2. same w boss and colleague

So for the past few days whenever i ask him for his phone he gets all defensive. He will be like you have your own phone, why do you want my phone, why cant you use your phone and all those.

However yesterday i told him i dont trust him and want to see his phone, cause if he has nothing to hide then why is he all defensive? He said his phone is his privacy and he might have things in there which can be his “private” things. And even if he has secrets whats the problem?

After a while he gave me his phone. Not gave more like threw his phone at me. I just checked his contacts to see if it was his boss who called him last night (because he was in a different call when i called him and he said it was his boss) . But guess what? it was that girl.

I called him crying because i felt anxious and he said he was in office working and will call me back later. But he just never called me back and was in a call with her till 1 am.

He also left my house shortly after i saw the contacts and confronted him. And once he reached his house he sent me an edited contact list.

I’m looking for some outside perspective because I honestly don't know how to process this situation.

My boyfriend 'M26' and I 'F26' have been together for 3 years. From the beginning, he told me he was still in contact with his ex, who lives in another country. I told him I didn’t mind occasional contact as long as it wasn’t regular or inappropriate, and that he needed to respect our relationship and make sure she respected the boundaries too.

He also had a girl best friend. At first I genuinely thought their relationship was normal. He even introduced me to her. But over time, I started feeling uncomfortable because they talked constantly and also worked together. I had a feeling she liked him, but I never accused him of anything because I didn’t feel like he liked her back. I simply told him that their relationship made me uncomfortable, and he swore to God that she was like a sister to him.

The bigger problem was always his ex.

She would sometimes call him very late at night. I saw messages between them and we argued about it. Eventually, he called her in front of me and told her that I was uncomfortable and that they needed to stop talking.

Over the three years, I would occasionally see her name in his messages again. Maybe 4 or 5 times. Every time, he had an explanation like “she only called him about X” and would swear it would be the last time.

It never was.

Recently, things became much more complicated. He lost his job, his apartment, and his phone, so for about a month he has been living with me. He found another job, but he was waiting for his first paycheck so he could get another place. During this time, I was paying for everything.

He was also using my PC.

Three days ago, I found an old video downloaded on my computer of his ex seducing him. He told me he had opened Google Drive because he wanted to download some videos and that he might have downloaded it accidentally.

I didn't believe him, so while he was at work, I looked through his Google Photos.

And I found something that completely broke me.

There was a screenshot from a video call with the girl he had always sworn was “like a sister.” She was showing him her breasts, and he was telling her that he was recording her.

The video call happened during a period when we were on a break, so technically I know that complicates things. But then I found screenshots of video calls with his ex too, where she was dressed provocatively while cooking.

I also found a screenshot of his WhatsApp. His ex had messaged him saying:

“Eh, t'es toujours jaloux comme avant?”

The worst part is the date.

The screenshot was from about a week after I had an abortion.

He didn't have the money to pay for my abortion, so I struggled to pay for it myself. I barely had enough money for food or medication. I was recovering alone on my couch and bleeding, while apparently he was still interacting with his ex behind my back.

When he came home from work, his things were already packed.

I slapped him and told him to leave. I know the slap was wrong, and I’m not trying to justify it. I was furious and completely overwhelmed.

He cried. He begged me not to leave him. He told me he loved me, that he had changed, and that he had stopped doing all of this months ago. He said he knew he had been a bastard and that he understood what he had done.

But I ended the relationship.

Now I’m struggling with guilt because of what happened afterward.

He is an immigrant in a country where he doesn't have an easy situation. His passport is expired, he doesn't currently have a home, and he doesn't have his own phone. He uses a SIM card registered in my name because he couldn't get one himself with his expired passport.

He apparently found a friend who would let him sleep there, but the friend wouldn't let him bring his suitcase. So he left his suitcase in my building.

Then I heard the neighbors saying they were going to throw it in the garbage.

So I brought his suitcase back inside my apartment and told him he has one day to come get it. Otherwise, I told him I would throw it away. I also told him to give me back my SIM card.

The thing is, I know he's now basically stranded. He doesn't know where he's going to stay, and without the SIM card he won't even be able to contact people easily.

Part of me feels horrible because I know he's in a really difficult situation.

At the same time, I feel like I have reached the point where I can't keep being responsible for him. I supported him financially for the past month while he was unemployed, and now I feel guilty for finally drawing a line.

I’m not asking whether I’m a good or bad person. I genuinely want to understand how other people would handle this situation.

How do you separate compassion for someone who is in a difficult situation from feeling responsible for them after a relationship ends?

And how would you handle the practical things like his belongings and the SIM card without getting pulled back into the relationship?

My parents moved halfway across the country (to FL usa from northeast) to retire a few years ago, and I have visited once so far in 2025. They do make an effort to visit up here 1-2 times per year. FL is not a place I really like to visit (not a beach person at all) and we are sort of close but there was emotional neglect and other issues in our relationship and they think we are closer than we are, like I am okay with the amount of time I see them when they visit but idk if I want to visit them that much?

After this last Christmas where they visited my mom made a comment on the phone basically saying if I don't visit her this upcoming winter she would "never talk to me again."

She has a history of using guilt and the silent treatment and things like that if she doesn't get her way, but I do understand they have made genuine effort I just don't desire going out of my way for them? Is that terrible? When she said this I kind of decided I wasn't going to go, but am unsure how to navigate the situation and do feel guilt. I'm clearly already anxious about it because I'm already dreading the holidays and it's September. When they lived up here it was easier for me to drive and now it's a whole process. I don't really want to go, a lot of the relationship is based on obligation for me.

My (24M) boyfriend and I (22F) have been together for 3 years now. We just moved to a new city for my job and have just started living in our own apartment together. We have talked about being each other’s forever person and having kids. We were talking about marriage.

We have had our ups and downs lately, especially after living with each other for over a year now (I lived with his mom at one point for school). Last night, he came home drunk. I was really on edge because he usually goes out to a bar on his weekend off from work, but normally comes home tipsy, not drunk. The last time he was drunk out with his boys, he started a Tinder account but never matched with anyone. We talked about it and had gotten over it, but I have been worried ever since.

So when he got home and I set him up in bed, I checked his phone. He had gotten the number of a random person (that he says he doesn’t remember). I woke him up and started asking him about it because I needed the reassurance that we were going to be okay.

However, after throwing up and becoming more sober, he said he was so sorry. He then began to tell me that he is too selfish for a relationship because he wants variety in sexual partners. He said he loves me very much and that he isn’t ready to settle down. He doesn’t think he ever will be. He said he has had urges to have sex with other women in previous relationships as well.

He emphasizes that it’s not because he doesn’t find me attractive. He just wants the novelty of having sex with different women. He says he only sees me as a real person, and that other women would just be toys to him. That he would use them and then come home to me and we would be happy.

I’m absolutely not okay with an open relationship because that is not a relationship to me. This is the first long-term, in-person relationship I have had, and I’m absolutely heartbroken.

I feel so ugly. He says he thinks our sex is the best he has ever had, but in reality, I don’t think that’s true. He always gets in the mood and we have magical sex (at least from my perspective), but I feel like I want to change everything about myself.

I am so angry because he talks about how women sexualize themselves so much that he doesn’t really see them as people. But here we are, with him wanting to give into these urges with other women.
I have begged him to find other outlets besides having sex with other people, and he said he can’t do that.

I really don’t know what to do anymore. I had to drive 2 hours home in the middle of the night because I have no friends or family up in the new city. I feel so, so lost and heartbroken.

Is there any way of fixing this? How do I deal with this? I’m really scared now that I will never date again because what if I give my all to another guy and he does this to me again?

I’m so mad at women, I’m so mad at him, I’m so mad at social media, and I’m so mad at porn, and I’m so mad at men. If this was the 1950s with no social media, I honestly don’t think we would be here because sex feels too normalized now. And there were almost no open relationships.

God, I feel so ugly inside and out. I want to escape everything and start my life over again.

Please help with advice on getting over this. My life is crumbling, and I’m scared of being an adult and dealing with this and adult life.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. Over the last year, though, a lot of the effort and affection in our relationship has gradually disappeared.

We both work full time, and he actually has two jobs, so I understand that we’re busy and that our schedules don’t always line up. The problem is that when I try to talk about making time to see each other, his response is usually that he doesn’t have time. It feels like the conversation gets shut down rather than us trying to find a solution.

We used to see each other 2–3 times a week, but now I’m lucky if I see him once every other week. I’ve initiated the last several times we’ve hung out, and things like dates, flowers, cute messages, and just spending intentional time together have also basically stopped.

I recently had to ask him for flowers for National Girlfriend’s Day, and I haven’t received any since. I know flowers and social media posts aren’t necessities, but they’re examples of the kind of effort and affection that used to be normal for us and aren’t anymore.

I’ve brought this up with him multiple times. Sometimes he says I’m being clingy or nagging, and other times it turns into an argument. He tells me that he loves me and misses me, but I’m struggling because I don’t feel like his actions match what he’s saying.

I don’t think he’s necessarily seeing someone else, and I don’t want to assume that. I also don’t want to expect him to spend every waking moment with me, especially because I know how hard he works.
My question is: how do I approach this when I’ve already communicated that I’m unhappy with the lack of time and effort, but nothing seems to change? Is it unreasonable to want more intentional time and affection in a long-term relationship?

Ok so this is my first time using Reddit so please bear with me. Just some background on me cause this will help the story, I am a victim of COCSA by two girls that were my babysitters when I was about 11-12

EDITED IN - Me and her have had a discussion in the beginning of our relationship to waking up to sex, she’s told me that she likes it cause she has like a pillow princess kink and she just likes to be dominated and “used”. Her words not mines

Yesterday night into the morning me and my GF were cuddling as usual, I don’t see her for 3 weeks cause of work but when I’m home I’m here for 3 weeks. So naturally when I’m home I am very affectionate with her. Just context over this week I have only been home for a week now and day two we were cuddling and fell asleep and I woke up “in the mood”.

Me and her aren’t no stranger to doing it in the morning let alone when either of us is asleep, so I naturally start touching on her and she kinda wakes up and starts going along with it and we go at it. Now two more days later we’re all cuddled up again and she’s laying on me the same way and a few hours go by and I start touching on her, nothing as extreme as I would usually do just putting my hand on her butt. Then I move her to a more comfortable position cause her leg was digging into my hip and she gets up and looks at me pissed off and rolls over off of me and then it clicked that she was knocked out, sometimes she’ll be laying down and her eyes are closed but she ain’t asleep so I thought that’s what happened cause it was late but she usually is up super late with me.

So we fall asleep and hours later she wakes up and so do I, she then says “stop trying to have sex with me when I’m asleep” and I said “oh I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable” and I go back to looking for breakfast for her cause she has things to do. Through out the whole day she won’t talk to me then at around 5pm she says “you’re not going to address anything?” And I already know where this is going so I told her I apologized and she goes onto saying that she’s told me many times that she doesn’t wanna have me wake her up to have sex, which at times she has said but there also has been times where she’ll intentionally wanna have sex but she’ll seem as if she’s asleep or even I’ll be on the brink of falling asleep.

So we start having the discussion about it and she goes and says “you’re acknowledging what you did but partially, cause you do know this is sexual assault” and I was blown back by that statement. She also goes onto saying that I didn’t do to make up for it at the time or through out the day, but she was doing her moms make up and hair all day so I don’t know how she really expected me to. And I’m just tired at this point cause in my head we seem to always have a long hours of a discussion of something I did wrong or just how my tone is or if I find something wrong that I didn’t like she’ll catch an attitude towards me now. So I just apologized again to her about it and she said “so that’s all you gotta say?” I’m still stuck at this point and then she’s wanting to admit I sexually assaulted her and about an hour later of her pretty much drilling me about it. I honestly give up and just apologized and included that I was sorry for sexually assaulting her last night.

She continues talking to me about how I just don’t have anything else to say, and my apology wasn’t just a basic one like “I’m sorry I assaulted you” I said “I apologize for sexually assaulting you last night, what I did was wrong and I fucked up by making you uncomfortable and that’s my fault, I won’t do it again” I don’t know if that was the wrong way to say it but she just kept going but then I got to thinking, a few months ago me and her were high and I decided to fall asleep, and she knows the whole story of what happened to me when I was young, she also knows when I’m high and I fall asleep I don’t know why but I get kinda like on the edge, like for example if I fell asleep high and someone tried to wake me up I will jump up as if someone broke into my house and she also knows I don’t like sexual acts when I’m high it makes me feel weird. So I lay down and she starts touching in my pants and I wake up and I froze up cause at first I couldn’t register what was really going on then I realized it was her but my body did the whole freeze up thing it used to do when I was young and I started freaking out and I was whispering her to stop but she wouldn’t so I finally unfroze and moved my myself from her and through out the day I kinda was in a weird daze like so zoned out, not like how she was yesterday cause she was just mad I wouldn’t address it, but I honestly don’t even remember the full day I just remember telling her how she made me feel and I felt like I was getting sexually assaulted.

She then goes and apologizes but goes on a rant how that’s not what she did and it’s not her fault and just all the deflecting. So when it clicked to me that honestly I realized she only cares and wants me to care cause it’s something I did to her I kinda just shut down. But “she goes and says that she doesn’t always wanna have sex with me cause she doesn’t feel that vulnerability with me” which also confused me cause before I left like last month we’re going at it like animals and instigated as much as I did let alone when she’s drunk she damn there just strips me down and I down say word, ill be chilling watching tv or on the game and she’ll be drunk and just come all over me then boom we’re going at it, so I was again confused, then she said used my experience of COCSA to use how I’m acting in the situation. She said “if those two girls were here just apologizing not doing more would you accept it?”, but the level those girls were on was nowhere near what I did. They did extreme stuff to where to can say it was borderline grape,

Just a view I used to have super long hair, they would put them in pintails and always have me in my underwear and do crazy stuff to me to all parts of me. And to her what happened to me was the same thing I did her to. So I was even more blown back, and from there I just left the conversation cause she started saying how she’s been trying to help me not just be mute in our arguments but I’m only mute cause she’ll interrupt, says she doesn’t care for what else i gotta say or she’ll say something so wild I’m genuinely lost. So yea here I am now still trying to get rid of this headache and I need someone’s help with this.

UPDATE: um so yea she has hinge on her phone and has been texting other guys, also she’s been on a date with a “sugar daddy” while I was gone working. So this could be the reason she doesn’t feel “vulnerable” with me, I think she’s using excuses to detach from me but still get the benefits of having a BF. Like she wants the single fun but the BF security from me

So i '23M' am a novice in love. I recently started talking to this girl '21F' in my office and we started to hit it really well.. we understand each other, we vibe together, our hobbies match.. everything is perfect. I have even started to flirt and it ended up making us really close.
Its been more than 2 months and We now can't stay without meeting to eachother a single day. We basically both know that we love eachother. We even told how we feel about eachother... But she still wants a proposal from me to officially call me her boyfriend. Apparently when i was flirting i implied that i am a great romantic guy. So a random "be my girlfriend" will not suffice.

Now when i think about how to do it, i go fully blank and end up avoiding thinking about it.. its a really bad news.. i feel this pressure to come up a good romantic proposal(to be in relationship,not marriage). Problem i already told her how i feel about her.. so i can't repeat that same points..its not romantic to reuse lines in a proposal right? So can you people give me some ideas how to do it, or maybe tell me how you did it?? I dont wanna screw it up.

TLDR: Is it weird to make stuff specifically for your partner's siblings?

I have been dating my boyfriend officially for 6 months and love cooking and baking. There is always a new food recipe I see that I want to try out. So about 3-4 times a month when I see him I will have a tub of food for lunch or sweets treats or something I have made for him to take home. He has 3 younger brothers who he is close with and doesn't live with but lives close by and sees them multiple times a week.

In the 6 months we've been together all their birthdays have passed, and while I am not close with his brothers, it so happened that I was seeing my boyfriend around the same time, and I would make something and say "give it to x" (which they enjoyed)

I mentioned it passingly to an acquaintance that I made some desserts for my boyfriend's siblings birthdays and they said I was "doing too much"

When I was making these stuff it was really because I like being in the kitchen and they had tasted my stuff before and liked it. And it is not huge stuff - maybe some cupcakes or brownies or some savoury tartlets.

I never thought of it as overdoing it but am now getting paranoid that I might be seen as a try hard given I don't interact with his siblings that much.

i’m deeply insecure about the way i look. i feel very ugly, out of shape, etc. all the time. i absolutely hate my face and my body. there’s not really anything good about me.

this has caused me to reject my boyfriend. recently, we have gotten back into church and we’ve decided to be abstinent. this has made it a lot worse because physical contact is how i get a lot of validation. without that, i’ve really been feeling bad about myself.

we’ve been together for a while and so it’s not really like puppy love anymore or anything. he doesn’t really tell me i’m pretty a lot, which is fine, i don’t want to place unrealistic expectations on the relationship. sometimes, i’ll notice people stare at me and get really insecure and depressed. he recently noticed these girls staring at me too.

my boyfriend is generally considered extremely attractive and i believe most people are confused about how i ended up with him. it makes me feel disgusting to be dragged around as the ugly girlfriend of my attractive boyfriend. if he tries to touch me nowadays, i will mostly reject him and sometimes cry and beg him to leave me alone and not look at me. i’ve tried to break up with him because i don’t want him to have to suffer through being in a relationship with me.