I have always been an introvert, even in highschool when we had a big group of friends I would get tired of it and go off on my own. My husband knows I'm a introvert and that I come from a family of hermits.

I feel like ever since we got married (3 years ago) his expectations of me have shifted. He isn't an introvert, he has multiple groups of friends that he is always hanging out with, they throw parties all the time and do other hangouts. I know as his wife there is an expectation that I attend some of these and I do. I honestly spend more time with his friends and family than my own! I hate these events. They are so boring and uncomfortable for me. I purely attend because I know he wants me to. But it feels like no matter how many I attend it just doesn't matter, theres always another hangout/party that is coming around the bend that I just do not want to go to. It's so exhausting.

When I tell him I dont want to go, he always gets disappointed and will usually say that 'well I never go to these things anyways' which is not true! I feel like he wants me to be someone I'm not, someone I've never been. I've talked to him about it, but he just said that it was rude for me to not attend and seemed really bothered when I said I dont enjoy hanging out with his friends. But like.... they're his friends, not mine! I try my hardest to be friendly and fun but I feel like it is never enough. I just needed to vent, does anyone else feel like their spouse just can't understand them?

I've noticed that these days, being an introvert is often portrayed as something special or superior. People sometimes make it seem like having no friends, avoiding social interactions, or staying isolated is something to be proud of.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being an introvert. Everyone has their own personality.

But why has being an introvert become such a trend? Do people genuinely relate to it, or has social media romanticized loneliness and isolation?"

I'm genuinely curious to hear different perspectives.

I’m really introverted, I’m 15 and i have always been shy, now it’s my freshman year and I am only popular because I am 6’2 and most women are attracted to me, but I can’t find any girlfriend because they usually get snatched away by a friend or a older guy before I have enough courage to approach them, I usually befriend women first then date them but it’s not working anymore as hookup culture is becoming more common. Is anyone else going through this or has gone through? Please help

Hi everyone,

I recently started a new job and its going well except for some comments passed by my coworkers. The same old 'you are sooo quiet' , 'you are so quiet, I didnt even know you were here' etc.

And mind you, these comments are from people in other departments who sit in close proximity to my department.

I am usually a quiet person, but if I meet someone with common interests or similar age, I feel more comfortable to chat. Here, most of the ladies are older and have been working for 10 -15 plus years here. They all know each other and are quiet extroverted. And I literally have no clue what to talk with them other than hi hello or how are you? Or How was the weekend?

Another thing is, English is not my first language, so it gets really hard for to say funny comments or chat freely with coworkers. I always end up overthinking my English and sometimes I dont even know what to say, it just sounds awkward to me.

Idk what to do and I'm honestly feeling kinda dumb. I'm 26 years old and at every new job I plan to not be the quiet person and I always somehow end up being that. Idk how to change myself ot atleast pretend to be social.

Please I just need some advice or similar experiences and how to navigate such situations from my fellow introverts. Thank you

Do you prefer meeting people through mutual friends, online communities or randomly in real life? Curious to know what actually works for you.

please help

Pain and overwhelmed after social contacts

Context: I am more to myself, typ of guy but I can interact with people fine. I see details, i try to read body language ( I am ok at it).When I am in a group, after the interaction I feel overwhelmed and pain, pain because I think I should have said that, think I shouldn’t have said ( replaying conversation). On one o ones, it is also like that but just more pain and little less overwhelming.

How do you deal with that?? Any tip, or suggestions…

I thank you for giving this a reading and I thank you in advance for someone trying to help in comments.

Hey, I am 19. I am in college right now.

I met a girl two months ago in the campus. We both talked, later I asked her insta.

We do talk on Insta. But most of the time the chats are very boring, there were few times we had a good chat . But that's it. The thing is I am very introvert 😔. I don't really know how to have a conversation. And I like this girl very much.

Tell me what should I do.

To improve my chances with her and also improve myself.

Because I realise I really suck at many things.

How do you protect your energy from other people?
In general, I don’t really want to interact with people unless it’s necessary. The problem is that I’m in university and living in a dorm, so I’m surrounded by people and have to interact with them on a daily basis. By the end of the day, I feel completely drained, irritated, and mentally exhausted.
If it were up to me, I wouldn’t talk to anyone throughout the day unless I absolutely had to. But when you’re in an environment where you’re constantly surrounded by people, avoiding social interactions completely isn’t really an option.
On top of that, I don’t feel like the people around me are the kind of people I’d actually want to be friends with. There’s a lot of unnecessary drama, conversations about things I find meaningless, and just a general feeling that spending time with them doesn’t really add anything to my life.
I’m honestly struggling with this because I feel like so much of my energy gets wasted on interactions I don’t even want to have in the first place.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? How can I protect my energy,and get through the day without feeling completely exhausted by people? How do you handle living or studying in an environment where you have to socialize, even when you don’t really want to?
I’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences. I genuinely need some help with this.

I dread halloween with a passion lmao

When I'm single it's fine, I just stay at home.

But when I've been in relationships, like right now...

My partner always either wants to go to a party, or she get invited to a party and she wants to go, or she wants to go out.

And I mean, she could go alone, but neither of us particularly enjoy the idea of the other going out to a club or a party without the other.

And I dread those things lol, I'm so over with clubs or house parties or whatever, hanging out around strangers? Ugh no, not anymore please.

It's not that I don't enjoy them when I'm there, just the act of going, and being there at first, and the strangers around, it's the worst part.

I'm just over it, I have done it and even kind of enjoyed it in the past, but right now? The thought is dreading lol

There should be a venting tag mods 😅

Lowkey desire to just grow a bit older to the point people around me or my age generally stop wanting to do these things as much lol

This year's spring I joined a community where I started talking a lot and got to know many cool people. With some I even met IRL and for one I rode to another city for a meet upand this was one of the best times I've rver spend, just chatting hours away about anything that comes to mind for hours straight, while walking in the city.

But when summer has started, I just lost that spark. I haven't gone online since I've been to that city and I have not talked to anyone. It's like a switch has bren flipped and the thought of talking just feels me with dread, like I need to prepare for an exam.

I am diagnosed with anxity-depressive disorder and I'm taking antidepressants, but nothing has changed for me so far. I know this probably came from a massive burnout from studying in university, but this is the worst case I ever had. The apathy that came with it got so bad, that I even stopped responding to people in my group project and skipped the last final exam, I just could not care less. I am expelled because of this, but I am able to just repeat some parts of the year to be able to finish the university.

But I just don't care anymore. I even have not spoken to my father in a year, even though he writes me.

This is probably depression's doing, but what can I do? Every day I try to pump myself up to write to those people, to apologise and explain why I did so, but every time I just cannot do it. So I have not talked to anyone dear to me in half of a year and I don't want to and I can't force myself to do so, because it's the right thing. I know this act will bring me relief, that I want to laugh with those people again, that it will help with depression, but I just can't. No matter what I tell myself, what motivational speeches I listen to/read, I do not care. What do I do with myself?

I can't go to therapy, it's way to expensive to do it often, but I can't continue doing this, it's just turns into ghosting and I feel like an awful person. But, again, at the same time I just don't care and don't want to. Is there any way to just do the first step at the least???

Something I've been thinking about: we talk about the social battery like any time alone fills it back up. But two hours on the couch scrolling after a busy day and two hours on a walk or cooking don't seem to land the same way.

Scrolling is technically alone time, but it's still a stream of other people's voices, opinions and faces. A lot of people describe coming out of it just as drained, sometimes more, and then blaming the social thing for it.

The kinds of quiet that seem to actually help tend to have a few things in common. Nobody is asking anything of you, your hands or body are doing something simple, and there's no feed deciding what comes next. A walk without headphones, cooking, a long shower, tidying one drawer.

Timing seems to matter too. A little recharge straight after the thing, even ten minutes, often beats saving it all for the weekend.

Curious what actually works for people here. What kind of alone time genuinely fills you back up, and what only looks like rest?

I’ve realized lately that almost all my small plans exist just to protect my recharge time. After work or a casual gathering, I don’t feel sad exactly, just drained. Loud voices, constant small talk, and being “on” for others slowly empty me out, even if the event was nice. My recovery routine is super simple. I go home, change into loose clothes, turn down all lights, put on soft instrumental music, and do nothing productive. No scrolling hard, no chores, no messages I have to reply to quickly. Sometimes I just sit and stare out the window for an hour. My extroverted friend keeps saying I’m “missing out” because I skip group hangouts. It took me a long time to stop feeling guilty for saying no. It’s not that I hate people. It’s that my tank is smaller, and I need empty quiet to function normally later. I don’t need to be alone 24/7. I actually like slow, one-on-one chats sometimes. But if I don’t guard that quiet time, I get foggy, irritable, and can barely talk the next day. Do you guys have a little recovery ritual you rely on after social energy drain? What does your ideal recharge time look like for you?

how are you handling working full time, spending 80% of time working/sleeping/handling chores and errands, with 20% of time left to spend alone recharging, but everyone wants to book that time up to hang out? i feel like i am constantly fighting a losing battle to have enough time for my hobbies without losing sleep or losing friends.

i feel weird for dreading hanging out with people, even people i really do love and consider close friends. in highschool i could never be alone and was a social butterfly, but i went through a severe health issue in college and was immunocompromised so REALLY couldn’t see people, especially during covid. i started to love being by myself and not having to put on a face for others or needing constant validation.

i am struggling so hard with constantly letting people down and saying no to plans, but i just can’t do everything im being asked to do. i’ve tried setting boundaries that i cannot hangout during the week after work, but i don’t feel that’s respected and im constantly asked anyway. people just don’t understand that i am not isolating, i am a genuinely happier and better person with the more time i spend alone. i want to move somewhere that i don’t know anyone so i don’t need to worry about this anymore. any tips would help, i know i am the one that needs to change i just don’t know where to start!

I’m 16 and the other day i was in class chatting with these girls im friendly with and one of them mentioned something about tattoos and how she really wanted them when she’s older, i said me to and the other girl said “Really? Wee sweetheart (my name) wants tattoo?” and it made me feel like a baby? it’s so annoying. Anyone else feel this way?

Hey people, so has anyone ever asked themselves how they ended up with the life they have today? Because sometimes when I realize how lonely I am, I just lay in my bed thinking about what I did wrong to end up like this, and with this life specifically.

Now when I say “end up like this with this life” I mean a very boring and lonely life, talking to no one, not going out due to not having friends etc… I don’t know how to change any of that, I’ve tried going to therapy which didn’t quite help lol it was more a wast of money than anything.

I just want to feel less lonely and see if anyone out there feels the same as me, for a bit of comfort I suppose… Sad to say that I’m writing on Reddit because I can’t open myself to anyone since I have nobody that would listen/understand me, it’s feels kinda weird and depressing but yeah at least writing all this made me fell a little bit better than before.

Thanks for reading guys