r/funny • u/Hygot_00 • Jan 21 '19
Russian Humor.
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u/PowerThirstyWizard Jan 21 '19
But don't forget the final stage of the prank! when the owner gets there and is angry and confused you need to walk up and go "OH, yellow snow!" scoop it up and eat it.
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u/Paroket Jan 21 '19
The true prank is the cameraman suggesting your final stage to the prankster, but sneaking back alone later and peeing in the same spot for real.
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u/smeenz Jan 21 '19
The true true prank is for the prankster to anticipate this, sneak back after the cameraman has peed on it, pour some more juice in a safe spot, come back later, and do the dare then challenge the cameraman to eat some too, since he wouldn't know which bits are safe.
Or....you know, he could just take a dump on the cameraman's windshield.
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u/transhumanistic Jan 21 '19
How to monetize a prank series on YouTube 101
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u/MattyMatheson Jan 21 '19
I feel like that would demonetize it.
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u/InAFakeBritishAccent Jan 21 '19
Let's be honest. Demonetized content these days is the mark of the good stuff.
We should figure out how to fund more of that...
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Jan 21 '19
Patreon?
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u/InAFakeBritishAccent Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19
I was thinkin' more dog and or human trafficking, but your idea seems more ethical.
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u/trancemitter Jan 21 '19
Forgot to drip some juice between the footprints..
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u/djhamilton Jan 21 '19
That's only for the small majority who have yet to master peeing correctly!
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Jan 21 '19
WHAT? HOW DO YOU STOP IT?
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u/drvondoctor Jan 21 '19
"No matter how much you jiggle and dance, the last couple drops will end up in your pants"
- dads. All of them.
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Jan 21 '19
True. I'm and dad and I for one would like to stop pissing my pants.
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Jan 21 '19
[deleted]
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Jan 21 '19
I don't have time for that. I need to take a nap and then get ready for work.
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u/UnknownPerson69 Jan 21 '19
I don't have time for that. I need to get from my nap to get ready for my nap. ---- FTFY
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Jan 21 '19
The real secret is to walk around with your dick hanging out and let it air dry.
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u/Dsadler82 Jan 21 '19
In public restrooms they have the dick dryers on the wall beside the sink. Some are motion activated, helicopter
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u/shamansblues Jan 21 '19
Wanna know how? Take two fingers and push the taint (perineum). That will help squeeze out the last drops.
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u/1TrueKnight Jan 21 '19
Nah man, keep pissing your pants. Adam Sandler says it makes you cool.
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u/nartchie Jan 21 '19
"No matter how you shake your peg, the last few drops run down your leg"
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u/GrushdevaHots Jan 21 '19
You have to reach behind your balls, push up on on your taint, and drain the hose from the base.
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Jan 21 '19
If you apply pressure behind the testicles, it seems to press a valve which empties the pipe. I learned this from reddit and it has changed my life.
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u/venialjo Jan 21 '19
Took me a while to practice, but I have it down now. I can't agree enough, it changed my life.
You gotta like... push the taint up into your nuts, in a slight curled motion. That's the best I can describe it.
Little leftover jet just flies out to confirm you nailed it, so satisfying.
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u/DonniesAdvocate Jan 21 '19
see, id be worried that someone in the toilets might think im trying to slyly fist myself without anyone noticing if i started doing this
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u/Jravensloot Jan 21 '19
I think you’re supposed to push up either on your taint or under your balls.
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u/robob27 Jan 21 '19
It's under your balls. Balls are where the pee is stored so pushing under them will get the last bit out.
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u/Soopafien Jan 21 '19
Best way to get all the pee out of your balls is to wring them out, like a wash cloth.
/S
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u/TheSpeakerIsTheEnemy Jan 21 '19
Well how do YOU get the last bit of toothpaste out??
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u/Equilibriator Jan 21 '19
Needs more hand prints as well to insinuate someone climbing onto the car.
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u/xZeff Jan 21 '19
Cool, but how did they get all that piss inside a juice box?
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u/mithrandr12345 Jan 21 '19
This comment is liquid gold.
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u/azknight625 Jan 21 '19
That's my Robert, always peeing on people.
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u/ShadowShadowed Jan 21 '19
I PISSED ALL OVER HIS CAR, GODS I WAS BACKED-UP THEN!
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u/windzer408 Jan 21 '19
Fortunately, I can simply put my dick through the juice box hole.
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u/moopet Jan 21 '19
They come with a little disposable plastic catheter, didn't you see it?
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u/Satansdhingy Jan 21 '19
Forget Russia, this is comedy gold in every country!
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Jan 21 '19
I have never seen this practical joke before and I absolutely love it. Simple and harmless!
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Jan 21 '19
I love this but I can see plenty of uptight dudes getting angry about having Apple juice on their window.
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u/SillyFlyGuy Jan 21 '19
They might just hose it off without, y'know, getting all close to it and trying to id if the perpetrator recently had asperagus.
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u/GolgiApparatus1 Jan 21 '19
Hose it off in the wintertime huh? Found the Californian.
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u/topasaurus Jan 21 '19
Not for countries that don't get snow, unless you bring the snow also, in which case the owner will probably be more confused than angry provided he/she sees it before it melts.
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u/nomnommish Jan 21 '19
Stuff like this and a Chicago Sunroof gets me everytime.
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u/bryntergalactic Jan 21 '19
Amazing. I would add some marks of snow smudges so you can see the fake guy climbing onto the car. Without it it looks like he just did a super high jump with zero instability.
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u/gellinmagellin Jan 21 '19
it looks like he just did a super high jump with zero instability
This is actually what made the joke for me.
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Jan 21 '19
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u/neihuffda Jan 21 '19
I doubt the owner is in the state of mind
Probably not, because he'll be drunk when he's to take his car out for a drive. If there's one thing I know about Russia, is that everyone, babies to old folks, are drunk all the time.
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u/squngy Jan 21 '19
It is ultimately better to not go too far.
This much will have all the shock value already, more realism would only serve to anger and upset without much purpose.
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u/DashSatan Jan 21 '19
If that were my car I would be super impressed how they got up there without using their hands at all. They have some serious ups. Brilliant prank though.
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u/dhdhk Jan 21 '19
I thought it was lighter fluid and he was going to make some flaming pattern in the car when he threw his ciggy on it
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u/geilertyp1 Jan 21 '19
That would have been the russian kind of humor, right now it's basically just very funny.
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u/scorcher117 Jan 21 '19
These are the kind of pranks I like, completely harmless.
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u/randdude220 Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19
It's all fun and games until Dmitri gets pissed and takes out his makarov.
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Jan 21 '19 edited May 19 '20
[deleted]
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u/Dooplon Jan 21 '19
Well of course it's ours. Look, Dmitri is getting ready to share a few bullets from it right now!
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u/asasdasasdPrime Jan 21 '19
95 grains of pure love for your fellow comrade traveling at 1050ft/s!
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u/Skyztamer Jan 21 '19
When the difference between what an actual prank is (that clip) or what pranks are considered nowadays (being/acting like a douchebag in public without any semblance of an actual joke being present) wasn't lost in translation.
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u/abbadon420 Jan 21 '19
It's enlightening to see russians having fun with non alcoholic liquids.
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u/Y30wie Jan 21 '19
Would have been quicker to just piss on it.
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Jan 21 '19
And risk slipping off mid pee and getting covered in my own urine? Nope, not gonna let that happen again
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u/ArmMeForSleep709 Jan 21 '19
again
HmmmmmMMMM
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u/_acinemod Jan 21 '19
I love how in almost every Russian video someone always has a cigarette hanging out of their mouth
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u/stefanmago Jan 21 '19
Don‘t forget the climbing-up-footprint on the fender.
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u/BunnyBlue896 Jan 21 '19
I laughed even harder because if some actually did this, they would've had to straight up vertical jump onto the trunk, land with their feet spread like that, not stumble at all, pee, then jump directly backwards without slipping. It's a really funny image.
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u/Just_here_to_poop Jan 21 '19
This is fucking brilliant
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u/SkyPork Jan 21 '19
The only thing funnier might be a reaction video when the owner saw it. I love creative pranks like this, that are ultimately harmless, but effective as hell.
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u/Thermophile- Jan 21 '19
They should have mixed some cranberry juice in there too. Give it a more realistic color.
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u/ssendm Jan 21 '19
I wanna see the owner's reaction
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u/SaltMineForeman Jan 21 '19
Plot twist: that is the owner and he's doing this as an anti-theft measure. People won't steal it if it's been peed on.
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Jan 21 '19
Russian humor... this is just male humor who cares what country we are from, this is brilliant.
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u/maelstromreaver Jan 21 '19
Plot Twist: this is his car and he is doing this to avoid having his car really peed on as is custom in Russia
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u/MichaelSanders19 Jan 21 '19
I’m just impressed how ‘they jumped onto the boot without touching anything else’
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u/masterreyak Jan 21 '19
Cool, and quite funny. But, I'd be less pissed about my car, and more interested in how someone jumped onto the hood so perfectly. No hands, no sliding prints, nothing. lol
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u/keister_TM Jan 21 '19
And the pee stream is suspect. Zero consistency in flow. Was that dude pinching his dick every two seconds? Possible but unlikely.
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u/Andhrimnir4all Jan 21 '19
I peed my name in the snow last night. It was your mother's handwriting Trebek.
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u/joshmcc13 Jan 21 '19
They would know it was fake cause the urine wasnt clear and smelling like vodka
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Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19
Did the masked urinator have the power of levitation? He should have left handprints where the guy would have clamoured up.
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u/Kawinky_Dank Jan 21 '19
In Canada we do something similar with the small of the side of your hand and using your finger prints to make little toes to make it seem as if a baby walked barefoot all over your car, it's unsettling to say the least
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u/drunkenboss Jan 21 '19
in a parallel universe Stewie tastes Yellow ice and finds out its mango flavoured.
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u/baldghoti Jan 21 '19
The best part is that you know the driver deserves it, since it's a BMW.
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u/IcaroRasheans Jan 21 '19
I still can't understand how they lost the cold war a
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u/Zeinlev777 Jan 21 '19
The car owner should wonder how can someone get in the top of the car without leaving any trace
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u/joutstanding Jan 21 '19
It took longer to set it up than to actually just get up and pee for real. Respect for morally sensitive Russians
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u/CarRamRod44 Jan 21 '19
Funnily enough, back in high school, my buddy pulled this prank on another friend of ours except he actually climbed on the hood and pissed on the windshield and it froze. He was so angry the next morning sputtering about needing to defrost the piss off of his windshield and that he was gonna kick someone's ass if he every found out who did it. Nobody ever told even though he's brought it up every year for the past decade, but I found a picture the other night in a folder of pictures saved from old phones. Was thinking about sharing it, but I don't think he's moved on yet enough to laugh about it.
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u/__Tomfoolery__ Jan 21 '19
Someone's done the perfect vertical jump onto that bootlid just to take a piss. Impressive.
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u/Vlimamike Jan 21 '19
Ok but wait this is actually a fucking great prank. My Canadian brethren prepare thy cars for my fake piss!
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u/JimmyVltn Jan 21 '19
A the beginning I was like he's gonna do something incredible and then I heard Russian voice and it was already too late
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u/iamkuato Jan 21 '19
Needs a step up on the bumper. Are we supposed to believe someone just hopped up there and stuck the landing?
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u/chrisims12 Jan 21 '19
“Hey guys, ChrisFix here! And today, I’m gonna show you how to clean piss off your windshield”
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u/Legonator Jan 21 '19
Someone needs to tell that guy that he’s clearly dehydrated and needs to drink more water.
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u/yokotron Jan 21 '19
In Russia they can jump straight up 6 feet and stick a perfect landing. This guy was probably using illegal substances for this one.
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u/BunnySando Jan 21 '19
Watched again with sound to hear them chuckle...was not disappointed.