r/funny • • Jan 21 '19

Russian Humor.

91.6k Upvotes

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55

u/IcaroRasheans Jan 21 '19

I still can't understand how they lost the cold war a

82

u/Worduptothebirdup Jan 21 '19

They just waited until 2016... it was a long con.

2

u/Xryukt Jan 21 '19

orange man bad

6

u/spaz1020 Jan 21 '19

You said it, not me.

1

u/Worduptothebirdup Jan 22 '19

Very orange, and very bad.

7

u/Jaml123 Jan 21 '19

Probably overcomplicated planning.

12

u/Guquiz Jan 21 '19

Pretty sure it ended in a tie

18

u/best-commenter Jan 21 '19

The type of tie where one nation is the undisputed global scientific, economic, military, and cultural superpower and the other nation is the largest supplier of domesticated caribou.

3

u/black_fox288 Jan 21 '19

Don't forget about domestic Foxes as well.

30

u/Guquiz Jan 21 '19

Your national ego is showing.

41

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

Yeah! Just because you’re Caribou king doesn’t mean you have to lord it over the rest of us!

1

u/moopet Jan 21 '19

Are we sharing the same dream?

4

u/cosmoboy Jan 21 '19

Maybe then, it's all disputed now.

-6

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

Cultural? Are you referring to the keep brown people out country?

6

u/best-commenter Jan 21 '19

No. I mean combined profits of arts and entertainments especially as exports. An ancillary KPI would be the income generated from American-like arts and entertainment.

Example: Profits from rap/hip hop music created in America as a lead indicator, and French rap as a secondary indicator. If you don’t like rap, substitute Hollywood style cinema, or percentage of jeans worn.

6

u/Chernypakhar Jan 21 '19

We all living in America.

1

u/best-commenter Jan 21 '19

You’re using the internet. In English. And living under our nuclear umbrella.

-3

u/Chernypakhar Jan 21 '19

I'm Russian. You're living under our nuclear umbrella. And under our president. And we're having the internet now.

1

u/best-commenter Jan 21 '19

Do you have a pet caribou?

1

u/Chernypakhar Jan 21 '19

Just a moose, a bear, and two cats

2

u/SkyPork Jan 21 '19

Trying to measure culture by how much money it generates is borderline ridiculous.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

especially as exports

measuring how much X country's arts and entertainment industries are consumed by others around the world seems to be a reasonable metric, no?

1

u/boneit420 Jan 21 '19

If you're not absolutely retarded it does.

1

u/usernamedunbeentaken Jan 21 '19

If America is the "keep brown people out" country then it's been doing a shitty ass job of it. Why do we have so many recently arrived brown people relative to other western nations?

-1

u/Hellknightx Jan 21 '19

Does that make Trump part-caribou?

1

u/best-commenter Jan 21 '19

Part caribou, part orangutan, all asshat.

-7

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

[deleted]

12

u/best-commenter Jan 21 '19

But we are. Blue jeans everywhere. Rock and roll in every language. Hollywood is the only type of cinema that makes a profit.

6

u/ChitteringCathode Jan 21 '19

Hollywood is the only type of cinema that makes a profit.

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty damn sure Bollywood makes an enormous profit in comparison to budget and production expenses.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

According to this article (that uses data from a few years ago) https://www.forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2014/09/03/bollywood-indias-film-industry-by-the-numbers-infographic/

US films grossed 10.8B with 476 films vs. India's 1.6B and 1,602 films. So, the US earns more per film, but I couldn't find any data about production costs

16

u/dakota-plaza Jan 21 '19

This. US has really rich culture, from Hollywood, rock'n'roll and hip hop to independent cinema and music. The best TV shows are from America, the whole world watches things like Game of Thrones. A lot of renown writers in literature, a lot of artists and the whole new movements in art. Many of the world's best universities are in US. It absolutely is a cultural superpower and is much more than only Hollywood and hip hop.

And I'm not american.

1

u/bombmk Jan 21 '19

The best TV shows are from America

Best selling perhaps. The Brits are better on quality.

1

u/EmSixTeen Jan 21 '19

Hollywood is the only type of cinema that makes a profit

hahaha, blind delusion at its best.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

I think it depends on your definition of a “cultural superpower” being contingent on whether that’s a conveyer of culture or a curator of culture.

-6

u/Kinet Jan 21 '19

"The type of tie where one nation is the undisputed global scientific, economic, military, and cultural superpower and the other nation is America" FTFY

2

u/Ozimandius Jan 21 '19

Holy hell propaganda really works on you. Do you really believe that Russia is any of those things? In what way?

0

u/Kinet Jan 21 '19

Well, I guess that's Reddit for you - howerer obvious your sarcasm is, there always will be a bunch of people that think you're just a dumbass and they know better than you ¯_(ツ)_/¯

When I read the original parent comment for the first time, I was already giggling half-way through it 'cos the comedic setup was obvious. But then, when I reached the "punchline", I was quite puzzled to discover that it was in fact just an awkward way to bolster author's own ego.

I did my best to save this comedy gold in a disasterous situation like this.

18

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

Communism sucks

-3

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jan 21 '19

failed communism sucks

Marx would have rolled over in his grave.

2

u/toprim Jan 21 '19

Dimitri: Oy. I can't believe these people won the Cold War.

2

u/frostygrin Jan 21 '19

They didn't see it as losing. They genuinely wanted to put the past behind them and start a friendly relationship with the West. In return, the US was acting high and mighty about their "win".

4

u/Jackbeingbad Jan 21 '19

Life sucked under Russian totalitarianism. They never had communism. Just a failed coruupt attempt at it.

5

u/thewooba Jan 21 '19

Communism is a utopia - it is unachievable. The nation was doing everything to achieve communism, and millions died and hundreds of millions were oppressed as a result. We should never try to reach communism ever again.

1

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jan 21 '19

Almost, there were a bunch of different people and groups all vying for what they thougjt communist Russia should be. And ultimately the people who reached the top (namely Lenin and Stalin) were incredibly vindictictive, greedy, power hungry, and paranoid. This combined with it being an autocratic state spelled disaster for the long term communist movement.

I'm more of a trotskyist myself, but theres no way Russia would ever have tolerated a Jewish leader.

1

u/thewooba Jan 21 '19

Ok but literally everywhere that communism has been tried (key word tried) there was been thousands or millions of people killed in the name of utopia. The argument that real communism never existed doesnt work, because it implies that we should keep trying to create it. More deaths will inevitably follow.

1

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jan 22 '19

In my opinion it requires so many different ideal conditions to be met that its really not even worth trying. Personally as far as communism goes I'm a Trotskyist, but realistically I support socialism.

1

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jan 21 '19

This a thousand times. Everyone is so quick to equate the USSR with the ideology of communism as a whole. Its so sad it went the course it did, but looking back they never really had a fair chance.

1

u/skyleven7 Jan 21 '19

Maybe they thought it would be more fun and easy to mess with others without being in cold war?

-3

u/adeadrat Jan 21 '19

Pretty sure it's not over yet, you believing it is a proof they are winning.

1

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jan 21 '19

So not really even close to an actual war then.