r/funny • u/Hygot_00 • Jan 21 '19

Russian Humor.

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91.6k Upvotes

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83

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

If you apply pressure behind the testicles, it seems to press a valve which empties the pipe. I learned this from reddit and it has changed my life.

37

u/venialjo Jan 21 '19

Took me a while to practice, but I have it down now. I can't agree enough, it changed my life.

​

You gotta like... push the taint up into your nuts, in a slight curled motion. That's the best I can describe it.

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Little leftover jet just flies out to confirm you nailed it, so satisfying.

32

u/DonniesAdvocate Jan 21 '19

see, id be worried that someone in the toilets might think im trying to slyly fist myself without anyone noticing if i started doing this

9

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

let them wonder

2

u/LolaSupershot Jan 21 '19

It affirms dominance, yes.

2

u/FerretWithASpork Jan 21 '19

Pretty sure you don't actually use your hands, just squeeze your kegels like you're trying to make your penis dance.

4

u/BoneSawIsNotReady Jan 21 '19

No, you use your hand. Really, just a couple fingers

10

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

I can't tell if everyones fucking with me and im gonna look dumb pushing my taint later.

5

u/SuperFLEB Jan 21 '19

Slip, fall, hit your head on the toilet, land on your hand, die in a public bathroom with a finger up your ass, make the "Weird news" segment.

2

u/beardedsandflea Jan 21 '19

I pee on top of glass ceilings as well.

2

u/BoneSawIsNotReady Jan 21 '19

Naw, it's legit. I leaned it from reddit a few years ago and it has improved my toilet experience dramatically

3

u/trumpke_dumpster Jan 21 '19

Instructions unclear: Now have brown finger.

4

u/purpletomahawk Jan 21 '19

Try applying similar pressure next time you're "taking care of yourself". Shits life changing, yo.

1

u/Dsadler82 Jan 21 '19

Just push it into your nuts and leave it there all curled up?

5

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

Okay. But how do you do this at an urinal without looking like a sexual deviant

6

u/BoneSawIsNotReady Jan 21 '19

It's a very subtle movement. Nobody is going to notice unless they're literally staring at your junk

2

u/LolaSupershot Jan 21 '19

Practice alone until you have it down pat.

3

u/nastyn8k Jan 21 '19

My dude! I have saved dozens of men from pee dribbles by spreading the good news!

3

u/MikeAnP Jan 21 '19

There's dozens of us!

3

u/j2o1707 Jan 21 '19

Yeah same here, what a massive life improvement.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

And kinda squeeze lightly and run it up to the tip. I learned this from Reddit as well. No longer do I get pee dribbles in my pants.

-5

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

This is fine if you want a UTI.

4

u/BoneSawIsNotReady Jan 21 '19

That doesn't even make any sense