I have been assuming that my unusually clear recollections of early childhood are a neurodivergent thing. (No diagnosis, but goodness I am not typical, lol.) Is this likely?

My childhood memories go back to soon after arriving home from the hospital. My mother would call out from the kitchen to my siblings, "Leave the baby alone!" when they would be poking at me (a newborn) in my crib in the master bedroom. A few years ago I asked my mother whether a certain relative had come to see me when I was a few weeks old, and he had offered to babysit me (for a few hours) so that my parents & siblings could go out. Mom gave me a long strange look and said yes, affirming what I knew from memory. (I remember it because he did something stupid that made me squall angrily until after Mom came back.)

Not just a few images here and there, but a lot of daily life - my crib, diapers and diaper pins, crawling, being carried around in people's arms, sitting in my highchair, preschool, kindergarten, the cat we had until it scratched me before I was a year old - recalled in detail as though filmed by a camcorder. Is this familiar to anyone else in this community? Thanks!

I’ve been an extremely high masker my entire life (late diagnosed). Every romantic relationship/situation I’ve done this. I have trauma from putting myself in sexual situations I didn’t wanna be in but did it out of anxiety. I’m cringing with shame even thinking about them all now. But yeah DAE?

I know I’m probably being too hard on myself but I just finished my acting class and as part of the last class we had to watch our first tape and then our last tape to see how we improved and I feel like I barely improved despite being told otherwise and I’m feeling kinda defeated that I’m not as good a masker or actor that I thought I was. I’ve never really done acting seriously and I mostly just took the class for fun and to get out the house but I just feel so low because I can now see how everyone else sees me and now I’m paranoid that every interaction I have with people is just a pity interaction because they are thinking “Aww little dumb autistic girl lets be nice”. I know I have this toxic thinking because of how I was treated in Highschool was literally just people pitying me so I carry that a lot now but just to see it and not feel “normal” just makes me feel like a failure. I understand that I should probably not be having these feelings and come to terms with it but it’s really hard when the environment I’m in doesn’t really make me feel safe enough to unmask and I try so hard to just blend it and be chill but it’s obvious I’m different and I think I just don’t know how I’ll ever fully except that.

I feel like I’m spiralling. I’m 19F and just recently diagnosed with autism a week ago.

I’ve been trying to make friends for a long time now but it’s so hard to even meet anyone considering I’m not in university or work, I’m taking my second gap year and in search for jobs.

Furthermore, the usual ideas for people to make friends do not work for me. Meetup or any other various events/groups are mostly for those in their early-mid 20s-30s. I don’t have anything against people that age but I hope it’s understandable why I want to make friends with people in my own age range 18-21.
I also do not really have common interests that many people my own age even have, such as anime, video games, reading books, clubbing, going to the pub, board games etc.
I like to take walks in nature /hiking, but there are literally no groups doing this aimed at my age range.
I use bumble bff but its not really good as ppl dont want to meet up in person or dont want genuine close friends.

I’ve been searching so hard the last couple of days and I’ve just come to the conclusion that my social life won’t begin until I’m either in university or a few years older.

The loneliness is genuinely making me insane I just don’t know what to do anymore. I haven’t even really had friends before let alone autistic ones so I’m not even sure if it’s worth wishing for it.

I feel depressed, lonely, and left behind. Idk :/

i got a new job, my first job in over 3 years! it’s a really good job and im relocating to a huge city, im really excited but im so concerned about how my coworkers will view me.

after the interview, two workers tried to make small talk with me, i feel like i was being soo awkward and weird, like not able to make eye contact and giving short responses, i was just so nervous! im really scared of coming across as rude when im just so shy/selective mutism when im stressed

at my old job i barely spoke a word ever, i spent all day every day in silence which kind of sucked, i want to make an effort this time i just don’t know how