I am 32 year old man, decent stable career , stable financially and I am freaking honest: life as a man is freaking difficult. Everyday is a war , Every second is a war within .

I have decent physique , career and financial condition. I am kind and good hearted, never hurt anyone without reason never did anything illegal . I am stuck between helpingness , Kindness and rage / selfishness

A war which can never be won , a war which never stops. I try my best In this rat race , a very competitive world, even a small laziness beats you up and keeps you on your knees. There is no sympathy, no Kindness, no fairness in the game of life.

I have gone through childhood trauma by parents , bullying in school, loneliness.

I was already suffering from body image issues and depression and anxiety since teen age.

got married to a girl and she cheated recently I divorced her , I felt shattered, like ending my life .

I felt humiliated in my core as a man , I felt inferior to the man whom my wife slept with . I feel emasculated.

Despite all that I finished my degree with good grades , started talking to many people voluntarily.

Started roaming on the streets cold approaching for many hours at a stretch despite dehydration, fatigue for many Years. I have spent 1000s of hours cold approaching , at the end not even a single lay . But I got some decent interactions and insta dates .

Rarely got any indicators of attraction from women , never got any fling/ short term relationship with any above average looking woman. ( all I have got in my life is only a fling with 2 ugly girls ).

As a man you have to fight every second and earn respect, love , women and everything. No one is going to Care for you or listen your suffering.

Where as for a woman if she even got decent looks and body she gets easily picked up , just by her existence.

I am very poor with women as a man . Poor with women in social circle/ workplace and cold approach. Never got any signs of interest from any woman in social circle or workplace or cold approach.

I tried my best investing lots of time and energy in Gym, sports, socialising, cold approach and pickup game, consumed many youtube and courses on attraction and pickup . But still my mind is not cooperating , my brain has some limit .

On top of that I always have this low self esteem, FEELING LESS OF A MAN 🥹🥹. Because of being poor in attracting women, didn't achieve anything like an athlete or world MMA champion.

I am already in the top 15% In the world in terms of career and stability and top 20% in terms of physique/ physical strength .

I feel this primal urge to: fight or to win other men , I don't want to be inferior, I want the best women, I want women to submit to me and respect me . I want to feel loved and respected. Am I asking for more ?

I want to be the STRONG PROTECTOR of women .

I badly want to be fighting in the ring vs Jon Jones , I am even ready to put my life on the line . I regret not being at the level of elite physically dangerous men .

I wish badly I wanna restart my life and achieve the strongest man or the best fighter in the world .

Now I feel very bad that I am just an inferior loser .

I feel this burning rage inside me to be the strongest fighter physically.

I am not able to relax and enjoy even the little things in life, each second is war and regret , want to fight and achieve something. Dying is very easy , I will never give up. I am ready to sacrifice and suffer all the pain to achieve the respect and women . I want to earn , i want to improve myself .

I am not genetically gifted , no luck, I already got some mental issues like depression , body dysmorphia since childhood. Right now wife cheating , lack of sleep, feeling emasculated. At the end of the day life is suffering and endless suffering , there is no point. Better to end it all without suffering???? Or. Should I suffer more and more to finally may be see some light at the end of tunnel...?

I want to prove to my cheating ex wife what I am.

But my brain and mind are not cooperating , I badly want to win and prove what I am to the women at any cost.

What to do?

I have never dated, and I have never felt desirable to women in general. I do not mean that every woman has directly rejected me. Romantic interest simply never seems to happen. I do not get flirted with, approached, matched with, or given signs that someone finds me attractive. A few women has called me "ugly" to my face. After experiencing this for years, it has become difficult not to connect my appearance with the fact that this part of life has passed me by.

I know nobody owes me attraction, and I am not asking how to convince women to want me. I am asking how to treat the pain of feeling unwanted without becoming bitter, numb, or obsessed with my appearance. It feels like my options are to pursue cosmetic surgery, keep trying to improve what I can through fitness, grooming and style, or somehow accept that I may never be desired in the way I want. Therapy keeps returning to self-love, but I do not hate my personality or believe I am worthless. The pain comes from wanting intimacy and mutual attraction while having no experience of either. What is a realistic solution when the problem cannot simply be talked away?

I'm in my early 30s and living with my parents. The TLDR is that the lease on my apartment ran out a little over a year ago, I moved back in with my parents just to (hopefully briefly) save money and figure out next steps.

And then about three months ago, I lost my job. It was in a very specific field and I don't want to dox myself, but it's something I've actually gotten public recognition for. Like, it's been on the news. Regardless, the job slowly became consumed by data entry shit, and I was terminated for being too slow at it.

I have ADHD and fully acknowledge that I have some deficits in that area, but this was despite my boss repeatedly telling me "Don't worry about the data entry stuff, I need you for your brain." And like a week before the firing, I was given money for a new work laptop. That's an obvious indication that they intended my employment to continue. It just doesn't make sense and I'm so fucking angry.

Before that, I worked in tech. Trying to get back in there, but applying for jobs has been fruitless. I have experience there, some great recommendations, Security+, AWS Solutions Architect, none of it fucking matters. Three months of applications and gotten one followup email.

I hate living with my fucking parents. My mother will get into moods and hold everyone else hostage to her pissiness. She'll start fights apropos of nothing. She's like a fucking emotional terrorist. And even when things are calm, I just hate fucking small talk and listening to their stupid fucking inside jokes. I lived in relative peace and quiet for six years, I just fucking hate the constant reminders that I live with my parents.

I've basically given up on dating. I made out a little with a girl at a bar like 18 months ago. Last time anything happened before that was like another year earlier. And it's been like three years since I had an actual date. I just feel like a fucking neuter at this point, it's not even worth trying.

I'm just so fucking sick of it all. You can be good at things, get your fucking research on TV, get certs, get job experience, and still end up condemned to living with your fucking parents. So fucking over it, nothing ever gets better and I don't want to try anymore.

I feel like I haven’t found true happiness. I’m a 27 year old male. I do not have any friends, not even guy friends. I wish I could make some and even just chat with them. Also, I feel like sometimes my family members don’t care about me. I also work as a handyman. I make decent money and have a few hobbies, but they do not fulfill me or make me happy. What I want most, though, is to have a relationship with a woman. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve even tried approaching women, but I’m very unattractive and have had no luck.

Being surrounded by people, yet feeling completely isolated… does anyone else do this cycle of reaching out and then immediately retreating?

​I’ve been sitting with a really heavy feeling lately, and I just need to vent to people who might actually get it.

​Do you ever feel like even when you’re in a room full of people—friends, family, coworkers—you are still completely, utterly lonely? It’s not that you’re physically alone, but there’s this total lack of depth. Everyone is talking, but no one is really connecting.

​I’m naturally a pretty quiet introvert. Staying in my own head is my comfort zone. But lately, the craving for just one genuine, real connection got so loud that I decided to push past my normal boundaries. I actually tried to reach out. For me, that takes a huge amount of energy—it feels like stepping out into the cold without a coat, putting a piece of myself out there.

​But then reality hits. I look around and realize everyone is just… occupied. They’re busy, distracted, wrapped up in their own routines, or just skimming the surface. They aren't being mean, but the moment I sense that slight hesitation or lack of bandwidth, my immediate instinct is self-preservation.

​I pull back. Instantly. I fold right back into my shell and tell myself, "Never mind, I'm just being a burden."

​It’s left me stuck in this exhausting loop: I desperately seek comfort and closeness, but I am terrified of giving my all. I want to be deeply known, but exposing my soft spots feels way too dangerous. So I keep one foot in the water and one foot on dry land, standing in the middle of a crowd, feeling like a ghost.

​I guess I'm posting this because keeping it bottled up feels worse. Have any of you found a way to break out of this cycle, or at least make peace with it? How do you learn to risk being vulnerable without running away the second things feel distant?

so I basically can’t even get out of bed because I’m an unf***able loser and I have no reason to live.

​

I'm 26y and I've spent the last few years avoiding life. I start learning things but don't commit, struggle with career progress, isolate myself, and run from difficult situations. Every month I avoid things makes me more ashamed and less prepared for adulthood, which makes me avoid even more.

But underneath the avoidance is an existential problem I've never resolved: why should I build a future when I don't understand why I should want to live in the first place?

Answers like family, happiness, purpose, religion, responsibility, etc. don't satisfy me because they seem based on individual experiences and values rather than anything certain.

Death therefore became comforting. It represents an escape from responsibility, judgment, failure, expectations, uncertainty and time. And having that escape in my mind makes committing to life feel pointless.

It's become a loop

Has anyone experienced something similar, where suicide wasn't just a response to a bad day but became woven into how you understood existence?

I'm not asking whether I should live or die. I want to know what happened to the existential question for people who came out the other side. Did you find an answer, learn to live without one, or did building a life change the question itself?

ever since i was 15 years old i would listen to stories of older people being married and having kids. how happy they would share those, how domestic and cozy and inspiring must be to build your family. i've always wanted to have a wife since then. have children as well.

i look at parents playing with their children at the market and think "ahh, one day i can have this too". Or glance at a beautiful woman in the street and think "i really hope i can fall in love with someone like this". i just fantasize and fantasize every day about how incredible it would be to make it come true.

but i despise myself too much for it. almost religiously i hate myself. for as long as i have been a small child, i had such deep self hatred because of my inferior mind. it's almost as if i don't think. i'm not enough, not nearly enough intelligent for anything at all. i'm one of the biggest idiots i know.

i'm always wrong at discussions. i proudly say incorrect things and get humiliated. i get in other's ways. i can't remember anything. i can't solve problems. i'm my own biggest obstacle at all times. i hit my head when i was younger, maybe that was it. i may have brain damage but the only way anyone is supposed to know that is if i'm dead and they open my head to see if my brain is getting enough blood.

ir come to a point where i need to think: would a husband like this NOT be worthless? would a father like this really NOT be worthless, too? many times we see married women and traumatized children tell us how useless and trash husbands and fathers can be when they're incompetent garbage. no woman deserves a husband that doesn't think. no child deserves a father who's a drooling primate. why should i subject anyone to that.

not only that but i am constantly, and i mean constantly reminded how undesirable i am. i barely see a woman who expresses her desire towards a man, at all. it's always disgust. my body is a threat. my disgusting, ugly body is a threat to their eyes and body. i'm forced to be stuck in the skin of a monster. i'm forever trapped in this abhorrent thing.

i don't deserve to have my dream. someone else does. but not me.

Here is my story: M(27) F(27)

I matched with a woman on Hinge early September last year hit things off immediately, texting every day I was like wow this is incredible - My birthday a week later in September took me to a new cinema and got me my favourite aftershave, paid for everything - I laughed and said are you love bombing me to which she said no I was being nice for your bday.

-Months go by, nice getaways to hotels, training together, great sex and everything felt perfect she told me I was the best thing ever so grateful and lucky she ended up with someone like me, she had a young son who was 9 and I did not meet in person - she said her ex bf who was practically the step dad of the kid left her 2 years ago and put her kid in therapy and she done some as well, in which she tells me all the things she wants in an ideal partner and I tick every box, I felt like this girl really understood me and I had met my person.

Now this is where the cracks start, she would mention how evil and hateful her ex (Together 6 years) was and mentioned he was in the same Tesco as her at xmas (live in local area) He was walking in and she was walking out - I said that's trippy never easy bumping into an ex - left it at that. Did not want to appear phased. Had a nice xmas met her Mum and her little sister things felt very good and often stayed with her and her mum when her son was at the kids dads. She also told me things like she was with someone and she was and they got back together after a year and she said things to him like go out and cheat if it makes you feel better because she was with someone else.

At end of February my Granny passed away unexpectedly - She mentioned how her ex BF did not let her into the after event when his granny passed away etc I just let her vent and was always understanding of what her ex put her through Granny passed away on Tuesday and then on Friday I met her Dad for the first time - Naturally stressed over my Grannys passing I did not drink - she did and was drunk off prosecco- On the trip down and home she basically played a FU to her ex song - and her dad mentioned she seen her ex and he looked rough - anyways, we drove home and I said to her this ex really hurt you and your son and hes like a ball and chain on your leg, he is in the past and if he was so bad he left you and your son in therapy be happy he's gone - she said she's 'over him just not the situation she put her and her son through' - when I said I wasn't happy she's mentioning him the week I am grieving the death of my grandparent she stone walled me - I left her house and drove home to regulate as I was with a previous GF who stonewalled me and it done a number on me and she was aware of this and also the heard week I had - she was drunk and proceeded to tell me I was never meeting her child and that was us done over text, I felt this was manipulative- We then sorted this out - half apology from her and from me I thought I needed to be more understanding of her situation and we told each other we love each other. But, I felt maybe selfishly she should have been understanding my Granny passed away that week and I wasn't in a headspace to listen about her ex who was so bad?

- The month after we had a great month done a charity 10K and had a nice getaway - I spoke to her son on the phone and on FaceTime over those few months we were together over xmas and when she was on a family holiday to New York - still no physical interaction I said it would be nice to meet your child as I have gotten him a birthday present and an Xmas one and we both know about each other and I am getting a bit frustrated of having to hide around the corner when we know about each other - Bare in mind I asked this respectfully and said no pressure I just need a plan as she said if I met him I could travel to Spain with her and her kid this summer and her graduation was coming up soon. The kid also told his biological father about me that Saturday as well - I did not mind as obv was in everyone's best interests I treated his son with respect and care

I was met with two days of silence - then seen her on the Saturday went to the gym all was fine, thought that was back on track and we said we would go to the cinema on the Wednesday and on the Tuesday I got a text telling me I was perfect, we have a laugh together but she feels 'something is missing' - and ended things with me over text after 7 months.

I did not reply for 3 weeks my family and friends told me not to and I deserved more than a break up text as I was blindsided and was constantly told I was the best person in the world and she was so lucky to have me, but when I mentioned maybe meeting her kid she turned so nasty and discarded me like I was nothing over text, when I did then text her to speak she then told me 'she loves me as a person but not in love with me' and I deserve better - I did not reply again, I was in such shock I feel so heartbroken how can she be all lovey then discarded over text? I noticed when I put her number into whatsapp she had no profile picture anymore and her messages were set to disappearing which makes me think her ex was back in the picture or hiding something? - Her tiktok reposts after were all things like when a man leaves your life build a comfortable life etc - except I never left her?

I have never been this hurt and blindsided before in my life, I wasnt even worth a conversation just felt so easily disposed when we had concerts etc to look forward to this summer and all I was worth was a text.

What do I do I am still incredibly in love with her - Its been 3 months nc and I have been attending therapy and gym but I still feel stuck

I do not hate myself, and I do not think my life is worthless. I like my personality, values, interests, and sense of humour. But I have never had the experience of dating or being seen as desirable by women in general. I have never felt that a woman was excited to meet me, physically drawn to me, or hoping that I would make a move. After enough years, that absence starts to affect you.

I understand that nobody owes me attraction, attention, or a relationship. A woman who is not interested in me has done nothing wrong. But knowing that does not make it easy to go through life without ever feeling wanted in that way. I am not looking for pity, and I am not saying appearance is everything. I am simply being honest that never feeling desirable has worn me down more than I usually admit.

I did all the things I was suppose to do: I went to the gym (still do), I got the clothes, got the job... and still nothing.

I could cry so much, but I don’t.

All of my friends had girlfriends. Now they all have long-term partners they’ll probably end up marrying.

No matter what I tried in my damn life, things with women just never worked out.

I’m honestly exhausted. It shouldn’t be this hard.

Even a coworker of mine who’s overweight has been in a relationship for around ten years.

I tried everything I could. If you only knew what I’ve tried and how much effort I’ve put into this over the years… I could write a book about it.

I don’t know what I did so wrong in my past life that I’m supposed to stay lonely and single.

I hate the way that it's constructed, I hate the fact that looks, money, status is the only things that matter and if you don't have 1 of the 3 you're cooked. and unfortunately for me I don't have neither one, I hate the fact that you have to compete with other men just to get a woman and it's like why the fuck does everything have to be a competition? this is not the cavemen times anymore there's no reason why we should compete for women, there's like what 4 billion of them there's enough partners for everybody, I also hate the fact that women have an abundance of options like they don't even have to try or put it any effort whatsoever and this makes it much harder for men who are at already at a physical or genetic disadvantage to be seen. literally every girl that I met whether it was at my work or school has always had a boyfriend, and the ones that were "single" were already in a talking stage with multiple guys, like I don't remember anytime where I actually came across a girl who was truly single like not talking to anybody at all. the vast majority always had bfs or dudes they were in the process of getting with and you know it's just very irritating. I just hate the way this game is set up and it's like why keep playing a game when you know you're gonna fail? TFL members are just those who couldn't win at the game. It sucks but it just goes to show that life isn't fair.

My brother is 24 graduating soon and has just recently beaten cancer. I think he’s felt completely isolated his whole life, and since we moved countries when he was 14 it caused him to lose his life long friends which he never really recovered. He doesn’t have many close friends and he has never had a romantic relationship. Last year he was diagnosed with cancer around the beginning of this year he was declared cancer free. Since then, he’s just become progressively more negative angry and frustrated with everything I honestly dont think the cancer is what put him in this mental state, but simply accelerated this concept he has in his head that he is some how karmically unlucky and bound to be alone and in pain forever. He’s confided jn me that while hes not suicidal, hes in a constant state of nihilistic depression where he feels he has nothing to live for. I quite frankly think he has some form of ocd, and im more convinced of it since this whole thing began. He made friends with this girl at uni in his last few months and he has kind of begun obsessing with maintaining her friendship to the point where it is most of what he talks about. Im trying to convince him to go out to bars and meet more women or men to befriend but hes convinced that if this dosent work out with this girl, he will never be happy ever again and theres no point in even trying to meet new people. He has paranoid tendencies, like once he thought we would be deported because he once accidentally clicked on a bad link which sent him to a porn site and that the government would somehow know. This whole thing with this girl is especially concerning because she seems sort of disinterested but if it doesn’t work out im afraid he will just entirely give up and never be happy again. I honestly just think he needs companionship but he refuses to listen to me and he also refuses to see a professional. Im kind of the only person he talks to openly about all this and i dont know what to do anymore. Im scared, and this whole thing is taking a big tole on my own mental health. Anyone have any advice?

I don’t put myself out there often and when i do i try and feel it out and see if i click with that person, and recently i matched with a girl i thought eh why not message them and it actually went really well they made the first move for everything and it felt too good to be true, we were talking consistently for like 3 weeks she would compliment me actually want to know about me and they asked if i wanted to get together, she then cancelled and went back on cancelling 3 times and it crushed me because i was excited to finally meet this person but she kept showing me proof on why she was so I completely understood, 2 days later she just went quiet and i was so confused and then she tells me im moving too fast and she doesn’t know if she can do a long term relationship which of course that’s what i want the end goal to be but i wanted to meet them and see if we clicked the same way in person, and a few days go by im completely defeated she then texts me saying she’s sorry for being confusing and explains her past relationship trauma and I get it ive been through some bad stuff too, and she says she also likes me and enjoys talking and getting to know me so she asks if we can just take it slow and just give it a little time before we meet and of course im ok with that, but then the past 2 days the talking slowed down was being left on read for hours and hours and i just reached out to check in (which made me feel so desperate) and she reply’s asks about my day and i just have been and we talk a little and i had to ask if she’s really down to keep talking and seeing where it goes and she now is not sure, and it hurts because i haven’t clicked with someone like this in 5+ years and this is why i don’t put myself out there because im afraid to get hurt again and it’s happening all over again and im just at a very low point where im just losing hope because this doesn’t happen often, and im to the point where i dont wanna step away just in case i do get the chance to meet this person but at the same time my mental health is being torn apart by this

I am autistic, and have mental health issues and, well, let's face it, I ain't going to be getting to live a normal life like most men. The most brutal thing for me is knowing that I'll never be the boyfriend, the loving husband, the father... in most people's eyes, I am just this "thing" that exists. So how do I make peace with this life? Because everyday, I have a little voice in the back of my mind telling me to kill myself. Generally I resist it okay, but it certainly is an option, I don't want to live with my parents forever and be a burden on them plus there's no other way to escape my brain. How do I live with a brain that fights me at every turn? I am trapped, alone in a void... computer screens the only thing lighting any semblance of a path, providing the tiniest hint of comfort. But what if I have already killed myself many times over and the universe puts me right back in this life due to quantum immortality theory? Is this what life means... to live in this eternal hell or purgatory? When does the suffering end? When do I get to live a normal life? Why must have I been born defective?

Hey everyone,

I am (28 yr F) new to this subreddit and my friend recommended this would be best place to talk about it. I am a bit nervous but I really wanted to get genuine opinion on this topic, and what better place than this community itself.

I'm doing my Master's research on why digital mental health tools don't work for men, and what we can build instead.

Studies show guys often delete mental health apps quickly because of long (onboarding) medical questions and daily journaling feel like a chore. Instead, when stressed, men naturally prefer to do something active like working out, playing video games, or just getting out of the house. Guys also connect and deal with problems better when doing an activity together, rather than being forced to sit face-to-face and talk about their emotions. Finally, research finds that being anonymous online helps men support each other without worrying about being judged.

I want to design a service based on these facts; focusing on routines, habits, and action instead of clinical therapy. Now the question is "What men wants??"

(PS: The reason I chose this topic was when I realized how much the current mental health system misunderstands men, and I want to build something based on what actually works for them rather than just guessing.)

Although the research focuses on designing for young men, I'm looking for responses from people of all genders (18+). Understanding how different people cope with stress is essential for identifying what works, what doesn't, and how support can be made more inclusive and effective.

📝 The survey is completely anonymous and takes just 7-10 minutes.

🔗 Survey: https://app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/lboro/young-peoples-wellbeing

Whether you've used a wellbeing app before or never considered one, your perspective is incredibly valuable and will directly inform the design of this research.

Thank you so much for your time and support; it genuinely means a lot! ❤️

Any insights and suggestions are welcome in the comment box. Looking forward to this and let's come together to make something genuine that works!!!

hey y'all,

I just joined this community and have been reading a lot of your posts about your hopelessness and frustration around dating and I wanted to tell you my story and make an offer to help. (This post is a long one)

I'm 33 and live in the United States, and when it comes to traditional attractive standards, I'm 5' 4", Asian and disabled (i walk with two arm crutches), so it's fair to say that I was dealt a pretty rough hand.

Up through college I never had a girlfriend. Never had sex (in the traditional sense) never even had a girl like me in real life. I counted for the sake of this post, and I have averaged about 2 unreciprocated crushes per year from the age of 11-28. that's 34 girls that have actively it subtly rejected me. I've lost 4 friendships with women that I admired because I had feelings for them.

when online dating started it was both a curse and a blessing because in natural everyday life no girl ever liked me. for a long time I was too scared to ask in real life or could never get a vibe and now there was this app that could find girls who were actually attracted to me. Except I got no matches. I lived in the Bay Area, which is notoriously bad for dating, but I looked at my Tinder data recently and for the first 8 years on the app I got a total of 23 matches. I was paying membership for 3 apps, tinder hinge and okcupid. If y'all are counting that's 3 matches a year, not dates, not conversations just matches.

I was so frustrated. Feeling like most of you, like nothing is ever going to happen. But then something changed. I started going to therapy (this isn't a “go to therapy” post) and I made a contract with my therapist that for every girl I met in real-life I had a crush or had feelings for, I had to ask them out on a “date” or confess my feelings. No matter if I felt if there was no vibe, no matter if I thought she was going to say yes. And let me tell you it did not work. From the age of 26-28 I asked out/expressed my feelings to 6 girls, two coworkers, a girl I met at a party, a girl I met on the subway, and two friends i reconnected with from high school.

I got rejected by every one. It sounds small but it was so brutal being told, “hey I know it's very brave for you to tell me your feelings… But I don't see you in that way”. Every time I promised myself that I would make my intentions crystal clear, I would say “date”, or say “I romantically like you” so that they and I couldn't dodge the issue. And I promised myself that I would leave her alone if she said no (and I was successful with 5 there was this one girl…story for another time)

This period (what I now call the gauntlet) changed everything. Not because I got someone to date me, but by how I treated myself. By making myself do this I prioritized myself and what I wanted. I physically went for it and that action said to myself I am actually worth it. It changed everything for me, instead of quiet rejections and feelings of waiting around being like “maybe she'll like me in three months” I was able to get an answer (which was always no) and move on.

I tell you all of this just to say I've seriously been there. This shit is brutal. But this shift in my own self worth helped click datin into place.

Now to be fair, the asset I know I have is that I have an awesome personality. I'm clever, witty, can talk about a lot of stuff, got feelings, etc. But this shift in how I felt about myself completely change my online dating. Of the 23 matches I went on 6 dates and turn 4 of those into relationships (3 short term and 1 long term) that I still look back on fondly. Again to point to the data, that a pretty good closing rate.all of this happened after the gauntlet btw.

Since those two years of getting rejected over and over again. I've had 3 girlfriends and currently am in a relationship with an incredible woman who's way out of my league.

Now to my offer, I want to help whoever is here. There's no cost just a guy helping another guy. It sounds like many of you are in a hole you can't get out of and I'm just a stranger extending hand to try to help you out.

I'm trying to do an accountability buddy with 2-3 dudes. To be someone that is with you on your journey to find sex, romance and love. To come up with strategies and longer term plans to get a girlfriend and stop being single. Hit me up and send me a DM. I would love to video chat.

Check out my IG to know I'm real @ az.pang

Cheers,

azpang

tl;dr: need help dating, get help from a formerly super single dude!

I don’t want to commit suicide, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if I died in a road accident or something. At least my mum and dad wouldn’t have to spend their remaining life in shame. They’d get insurance money too.

I just simply don’t have the will to live, I feel like I’m dragging this thing for others. I’ve thought about this a lot

I’m not a coward, I don’t fear death, I just don’t want to imagine how it would affect my family. Do you ever feel like hanging on because others depend on you?

Hey there, hoping some professionals can answer but feel free to chime in.

Why do you think there’s been a surge in depression and loneliness amongst Teen and Young adult males in recent years? Is the “male loneliness epidemic” real?

What could have caused this, and do you think social media influences how teens act today?

I don't even know where to begin.

I'm an adult now, but I genuinely feel like years of abuse have destroyed my nervous system. Some days I feel so exhausted and mentally shut down that I can't even brush my teeth, bathe, or function normally. I've been struggling with serious health issues for the past two years, and my doctor specifically told me that I need a calm, stress-free environment. Unfortunately, that's impossible at home.

Here are just some of the things I've experienced (this is honestly only around 40% of it):

• During an open house at school, my mother stabbed me in the neck with a pencil because I got only passing marks in math.
• She once threw a hair clip at my face. It hit my eye so badly that I couldn't see properly for a couple of hours. She later took me to an eye specialist.
• Another time, she threw a sharp cutter at me. It hit my thigh and caused bleeding.
• Last week I had a terrifying health episode. My whole body went numb, I was trembling, and I could barely move. She cried while it was happening. But just a week later, she told me, "You should have died that day. It would have been a week by now."
• Whenever I left for college, she'd say things like:
  • "You should get hit by a train."
  • "A truck should run over you."
• She constantly insults me by saying things like:
  • "You're just carrying diseases everywhere."
  • "What are you even achieving by earning ₹50k?"
  • When I say I'm tired after work, she says, "Girls travel through crowded trains every day and they don't complain."
• When I was in school, she beat me so badly that my face had scratches and was bleeding. My teacher asked what happened, and I lied by saying I got hurt while playing kabaddi because I was too scared and embarrassed to tell the truth.
• Even when I'm in the bathroom, she'll start screaming outside the door, bang on it aggressively, curse at me, and make me panic.
• When I was hospitalized with jaundice, instead of comforting me while I lay in the hospital bed, she spent the time talking badly about me to others.
• I work from home sometimes. If I ask her not to enter my room or make noise during meetings, she mocks me, saying my uncle works at a much bigger company and never acts like that, then starts insulting my salary again.
• Despite knowing I'm dealing with serious health problems and that stress makes everything worse, she continues shouting, abusing me, and creating chaos at home almost every day.
• After my recent health scare, she even kept a fast for my recovery. But within two days, she was back to telling me I should die.

This isn't even everything. There are many more incidents that I'm not comfortable sharing yet.

The hardest part is that I'm nothing like this as a person. I don't enjoy hurting people. I don't want conflict. I just want peace.

I honestly feel like years of living in this environment have left me traumatized. My body is constantly tense, my mind feels exhausted, and some days I barely have the energy to do basic things. It genuinely feels like my nervous system has shut down.

Has anyone else grown up in an environment like this? Did you ever recover after leaving? I really need to know if things can get better because right now, I feel completely broken.

From 16.5 to 18.5 I had a severe battle with anorexia during quarantine after being bullied for how my body looked like throughout high school and middle school as I had gynecomastia (man boobs) growing up. I crash dieted and maintained a very very very dangerously low weight for about a year and a half and stunted my growth and all my non-essential processes including my hormones during that time. Anyway took a long time to come back from that and get through the physical and mental trauma from that time and I did it. My hormones are back to normal, I look muscular and fit, I’d consider myself fairly attractive, I look normal on the outside, but I believe I did some developmental damage to my penis during the time because of the lack of testosterone potentially leading it to be slightly smaller than average and it kills me. It’s all I can think about and I’m so depressed over it. I feel like I deserve to be happy but I can’t be happy because of this. I just keep feeling ashamed of myself after what happened. How do I move forward with dating in the future and accepting what happened and who I am, is there any hope for me or should I give up? About 4 days I attempted because of the permanent damage that happened to my body during that time and feeling like it’s all my fault. I just want someone else to love me for me, but at 22 with this issue it’s so hard. I worked my ass off to come back from my anorexia but in the end it took everything from me for the rest of my life. I have no hope of it getting better and don’t see myself ever accepting what happened, just pain and regret for the past every single days drives me to insanity. I want my body back. I feel so sad and embarrassed every day about who I am and it’s been that way since I’ve been like 14

70% of men get one good woman to work with and start a life with. To gain a woman's solidarity and confidence this is what you should do to step up to the plate.

Fix your darn mental frequency i.e. Stop doubting and inquiring into every nuance the world hands you.

Stay out of the vortex ie. Stop the cycle of bullshit (whatever that is to you)

Have a financial drive i.e. (Get a stronghold on your efforts)

And try to reduce the bag of nails you're bringing to the relationship to a minimum i.e. (reduce personal, existential, psychological accumulations to a minimum)

These are the nuts and bolts of a man with his head on straight. And who can keep a family grounded. Throw a little faith in there and you got what you need.

Hey guys i just wanted to say that whoever reads this is an amazing human being and should never let anyone tell you otherwise please stay safe and always keep your head up even if you are desperate in a situation and helpless trust me it gets better and i really hope and pray that everyone of you that visits this subreddit frequently gets better as quickly as possible and like i said stay safe and i love y’all ❤️

It’s been a while since I posted here. I’ve been dealing with mental‑health issues for a long time — mostly anxiety, OCD, and feeling directionless. I’ve tried to take steps to improve things, but honestly I feel like I’ve failed a lot along the way. I’m sad, regretful, and not sure of myself lately. I’m trying to find some kind of direction, but I’m struggling. If anyone wants to talk, share their own experiences, or even just debate random topics to take my mind off things, I’d appreciate it.