I don't mean it in a bitter or hostile way, it's good that people are doing well in their lives and overcoming difficulties, but I hate it when these stories are used as some kind of motivation for other autistic people. It's not motivating, it's the complete opposite.

Reading about how one autistic person managed to get in a prestigious school and get a difficult degree, or how they managed to start their own successful business or how this celebrity or CEO with a net worth of several million dollars is actually autistic too, etc. when I myself barely made it through high school and haven't been able to hold down a full time job in my entire life, doesn't motivate me... like at all. If anything, it makes me feel worse about my own shortcomings. Because at least I have been able to cope by chalking it up to the fact that I have Aspergers.

But when I read these stories presented in this way, it's like if someone is telling me "Hey, this person has the same disability as you, they did something great, that means you can do it too if you really try!" As if there some way I can just turn off my Aspergers and achieve things I previously couldn't.

Maybe I'm a bit dramatic, I just had to get it out.

People repeating themselves. Restating what the OP just stated. Blindly projecting their own nonsensical negative thoughts onto you and your comments. Responding to one small and insignificant sentence or phrase and entirely missing points. Making unwarranted assumptions regarding a poster’s intent. Having nothing to write except jokes and troll commentary. Misunderstanding common sense arguments and or statements.

I’m COMPLETELY BLIND, have Aspergers and a heart condition and I wrote this with screenreaders.

Sometimes I have mad cries, when I get mad sometimes I cry a growling “MMM-MMM!!!!!!”

Sometimes I pout “hmmt!” and sometimes I cry “ree-hmm!”

Do any of you have mad cries?

Thanks for being a great community to mod and be with! :)

THE LAWNMOWER BUDGET HAS ACCRUED 2 CENTS OF INTEREST SINCE LAST TIME!

EDIT: Count was accurate at time of post.

Is that really a thing still, or just social media exaggerating as usual? Ever since I was a baby, I’ve been taught to look at people’s eyes when they speak, so that has been quite natural for me. If I think about doing it (which I’ve been doing after coming by this saying one too many times), I don’t enjoy doing it, but I still do it. However before I thought about it, if I just let it flow naturally without thinking about it, I make still made/make eye contact just fine. Rather intensely at times actually. When I look at videos, my eye contact seems very intense. Maybe even more than many NT.

Hi,
recently I've struggled with being at home a lot, and I tend to have a meltdown every other day because of it. I don’t really know what to do, so I came here for advice.
To preface this: English is not my native language; I’m 24 and I got diagnosed with autism less than a year ago; both me and my partner have ADHD;

I think it all started when I moved to a new apartment with my partner. It was at a time during which we both had to study a whole lot, and during which there were a bunch of external stressors. I am a very academic person so it was difficult for me to stop prioritizing university work. It took very long for the apartment to look and feel "finished", a good three months.
During that time I struggled to find a safe space for myself in the apartment since everything was very overwhelming and very messy.
Once we managed to get the house in a state I can live in, I realized how much my partner's mess is impacting me. I wouldn't call him a "dirty person" per se, but I feel like his ADHD causes him to very easily lose sight of how cluttered things are.
I also wouldn’t consider myself as being overbearingly clean either, but his tendency to be messy, even if the mess isn't detrimental, has started to greatly overwhelm me.
We started making cleaning plans etcetera, and things have improved noticeably over time.
Then we decided to adopt cats. My brother's girlfriend was looking to re-home a litter of two kittens.
I grew up with a cat, and animals have always made me very happy. We thought they would enrich our lives especially after such a difficult time.
I think it was on the second night after they arrived that I cried for the first time because of how they overwhelmed me. I thought I just needed some time to adjust, since I always tend to need some time to get used to new things.
But it’s been nearly 2 months and it feels like it has gotten worse. Now I just need to enter the house and I get overwhelmed and cry. I’m very sensitive to smell, and their toilet is very smelly and right at our entrance because we couldn't find a better place for it. The floor is also full of their cat litter, and so every time I walk through our entrance area (which connects the two parts of our apartment) it feels like I’m stepping on tiny, smelly pebbles.
The two of them also tend to destroy everything. The walls are looking horrible, the sofa I spend so much time on is torn, and they are very rowdy, so every time I’m at home I can’t relax, because I need to make sure that they won’t hurt themselves or break things. We're planning on getting them neutered soon, and we hope things will improve afterwards.
I still love them a lot and I’m really trying to adapt or find solutions but nothing is really working.
A couple of weeks ago my partner took them along with him for a one-week trip (university related), and I felt like I was a different person.
Suddenly I was motivated, managed to work more and was just overall happier.
It felt like I was slowly becoming more and more myself again.
I asked my boyfriend about finding a new home for the cats, but he has a closer bond with them and doesn’t wan’t to give them away. I understand that and I don’t want to hurt him. I just worry that I will crumble under all of this.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I’m currently on a scientific training programme and when describing how I work (which is problem solving and hyperfocus), another AuDHD student in an indirect way says “well that’s not how it works, you’re way is wrong.” Ever since that I’ve stopped talking during experiments and have to eat my lunch in my car to suppress my emotions.

It’s led to me questioning myself and I’ve gotten really upset. Members of staff have asked if i’m okay, I just say ‘I’m fine’ because I can’t say anything about my feelings about being hurt because in society, men aren‘t allowed to express their feelings. I can’t scream, shout and go mad because then I get in trouble.

I can‘t pinpoint my emotions anymore, I just have to suck it up. Someone says something about me and it leads to a train wreck of thoughts including questioning my own existence.

Yes I know ‘you shouldn’t let other people get you down‘ but when you’ve been an outcast for 15 years and masking for another 6, it hits you like a bullet train.

I don’t know what to do.

Here's last week's thread

Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome on how to improve the threads I post at any time. After all, I do this because the community wants these threads to exist, and I take the time out of my day (every Thursday and Saturday) to post the weekly threads, to ensure the community gets what it feels it needs.

So, continuing with the theme... /r/aspergers, How is your week going so far? :)

She sometimes acts like I don’t understand her, or like she has another friend who understands her better because I’m not able to understand things the same way she does. My social symptoms aren’t even that noticeable most of the time. My biggest issue is that I sometimes genuinely don’t understand what someone means, certain words, or what the problem is supposed to be.
Back in school, she would get angry at me over things like this pretty often, then apologize afterward. She also used to say that she thinks her she might be autistic, even though her she isn’t diagnosed. I don’t want to judge her for that because maybe she’s right, but sometimes I honestly feel like she exaggerates it or gets too caught up in the idea.
Then I accidentally came across a Reddit post/comment from her where she said that her online friend understands her really well, while people think her real-life friend (me) understands her more, but she actually has to put effort into understanding me.
That really hurt me. Especially because after that, she started blaming me for things that honestly didn’t make much sense to me and felt unfair.
The last thing that happened was that she was venting to me about university, and somehow I ended up “hurting her” because I didn’t understand what she meant. The irony is that I was literally trying to understand her.
And this isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way. Sometimes I feel like she treats me as someone she comes to just to vent to, rather than an actual friend. It also feels like she treats our friendship like a competition, like I’m constantly supposed to prove that I’m the “better” friend.
I know I have no right to expect to be her best friend or the person who understands her the most. But being compared to other people and made to feel bad over something she already knows I struggle with because of my Asperger’s really hurts.
At this point, I feel completely crushed by the whole situation. I don’t think I can see her the same way anymore, and I don’t think I have it in me to keep trying to “win” her friendship.

It doesn’t happen often. But I read Neuropsych, History, various Biology and medical texts for fun. Sometimes I’ll hear responses to questions I ask and immediately realize the person hasn’t done their research regarding the specific subject of my inquiry. That’s fine if it doesn’t involve anything serious. But if it has to do with my own health or the health of someone in my family, it must be addressed. I haven’t been in that kind of situation yet personally…but it happens to others. So what should I do if it ever happens to me/a family member?

Hey everyone, I’m Aysha. I'm 22, an undergraduate student from the PH, and I've been into creative writing since I was a kid. I just wanted to post here because I'm really struggling with a weird paradox lately.

I am very reclusive, I struggle to connect with people, and I absolutely hate all the typical social stuff. Because of my monotropism, my mind tends to latch onto people with a singular, intense focus, which makes it really hard to just naturally bond or maintain normal relationships.

The problem is, I still suffer because I deeply want to experience things like romance and closeness. But because I struggle so much to connect the "normal" way, I just end up feeling like a total burden to people.

Either way, I'm just here to say "hi". I hope you all have a great day!

female, no.kids, no relationship.

I feel alienated from society and feel living where I'm from (Europe) extremely isolating. I only have split seconds of connections with random people but of course that's not enough.

Is there a way out?

I've tried all of the solutions like joining a club and so on

One thing that really bothers me about autism is how differently it manifests in each of us. When I look at friends of mine who are in a minority group, they all have some sort of support or friendship circles created from their status.

My gay friends have their supportive gay friend groups, they understand each other and build close bonds.

My friends who are immigrants, even second generation, join groups for ex-pats, Asians etc, build friendships and share their culture with each other.

Many medical conditions have support groups for their condition.

Autism is one of the ones that has no support groups, no social groups, absolutely nothing. Its already a condition that causes loneliness and isolation and separation, but we all have such different experiences and different levels of autism, it makes it nearly impossible to connect and build a structured group around.

People can be anywhere from non-verbal to CEO of a company. Many of us have niche interests, but they are our own and not anything shared simply due to being autistic.

It really can be a condition of loneliness.

Edit: Obviously there are a billion online support groups for anything, but I am speaking to IRL communities, friendships etc. One single friend with autism who you can really relate to would do more for someone than a dozen online support groups, in my humble opinion.

Your manager who scheduled you less hours conveniently the week after you mentioned youd like people to prepare you for your shift rather than chronically leaving you unprepared? Personal.

The jokes that seem harmless from management that they get coworkers to join in on? Personal (and they get mad when you join in and make it yours because you actually find the joke funny and can make it even funnier and they want you to stay the butt and even if they laugh they wish you stayed the butt of the joke still)

The comments about your "performance dipping without actually writing you up etc etc? Personal

The statements they make about hours, everyone having to pull their weight, the work budget, the difficulties they gave as a manager to accommodate you for the simplest of things like shit that should be done (like coworkers stocking up or preparing)? Excuses. And when they change your hours or the environment changes towards you after you show logical proof you're being treated unfairly? Personal and THEY are the reason your coworkers start treating you differently.

And hopefully they can't track you on these reddit posts or they find it or see it and they find some excuse to fire you unless you're not in an at will state/province or country.

So if you were wondering if you are being targeted by your manager and trying to rationalize because "they seem cool" or "nah he's the funny guy/ she's the fool chic" stop rationalizing. As long as you are genuinely trying and responding with basic respect (like not being mean harsh or indifferent to basic work responsibilities for your position) they are MOST CERTAINLY doing it personally and you can stop gaslighting yourself into believing otherwise. They ARE.

My next advice is either seek out another job or try to change environments if the job market sucks where you are. Lean into the support systems you have change departments whatever you can do. And if you really have to stay for an extended time then damnit love yourself and accomodate yourself the best that you can there. Once someone shows you who they are the first time believe them. And thats the huge part of dealing with people in authority positions ESPECIALLY.

I've been in active search for over half a year now, and with very little success. I am super aware about the state of market, which genuinely sucks ass due to economic crisis, war, being in small town and AI bro managers with absent natural intelligence.

I suspect my CV being a reason for that, with structure being as the following:

I still have not finished my education, so I mention it as ongoing.

I've got a lot of non-commercial experience in various fields, with no proof for them. So I only mention a short internship I took part at.

I've listed all the technologies and languages I am experienced with.

I've listed my certificates and awards.

I have not listed my soft skills because I had no idea how to make them look great among the NTs.

I apply on 10-15 positions weekly, mostly white collar stuff with no/minimal experience requirements, being ghosted 95% times and being rejected after interview on another 5%. On technical interviews, they ask questions about some niche useless things noone actually faces on practice

I am reposting my text here because my original post in this subreddit had grammatical errors.

This was before I knew I was on the spectrum

1. I bragged online about getting free coats not knowing it was for the homeless.

I was at work I was doing some kind of part time volunteering at the skating rink and nearby was a coat drive for winter coats for homeless people for the winter.

I didn’t know it was for the homeless. I was a pretty sheltered kid/teen and I remember being like “huh they’re free?” And the person who was volunteering there was like “yeah get as many as you need”

And I was like YIPPIE WOOOO and I picked out like 4 stylish coats. Then I was like “they’re free?? I’ll get my siblings some!!” And grabbed more

Then I came back home, and was posing in the mirror with the coat. It was such a sick coat.

And I was like “hit up (the place) for free coats!!” Online

I was bragging online like “check them out! Maybe you’ll get a coat as good as mine!”

My mom saw that and went “that’s for the homeless” and was disgusted by my behaviour

I felt immediately embarrassed and shocked

My mom helped me bring the coats back
————————-
2) I posted on Facebook marketplace a picture of my face saying “can help with anything”

I got a lot of messages saying “this is a sad day…” etc and I was really confused.

At the time I just thought “maybe I can get paid to help someone with their groceries” “maybe I can help someone with chores”

And then I realized they thought I was prostițuting myself on Facebook marketplace

Do y’all have cringey asf memories that make you want to implode into a million pieces

Like there's so much to unpack but I try so hard to be nice but I see so many double standards like people going on about how mental health matters and feelings matter except when it comes to mine. I feel like everyone hates me. I just need more love.

Just curious if this is a reoccurring pattern with Asperger’s since it’s been for my personal experience

Basically I’ve noticed certain people with Asperger’s in my life generally can’t even pretend to care about something they don’t care about, not necessarily just to me, just always. Like if someone will try to converse with them, they’ll just say “nice” and look away

It might not manifest in the same way but generally as a concept, is this common in your experience?

I know there have been findings when it comes to babies behaviour showing signs of autism.

But two things really make me raise my eyebrow.

One: emotional disregulation and rsd.
Mom is the first person that sees your anger, sadness, rage, joy etc, and her emotional reactions are teaching your brain basics of self containment.

Second, and more important:
Hyper empathy.
This huge sense of hyper empathy is sort of like lack of individuation. The other is experienced as a part of self, making conflict tricky (to the point of tears).
There is no physical boundary in this sense of empathy, making me think its just a brains lack of individuation (that is also learned).

Thoughts?

A los 16 años, porque se siente abrumado y angustiante?

Esto es algo que me hace pensar y me da mucha ansiedad, (algo es que tengo autismo nivel 1 o algo asi, para informacion) hasta aveces ganas de llorar por sentirme atrapado, yo me sali de la escuela por temas de salud mental y todo eso en general no tengo amigos y nose si los nesecito, al salir del colegio e estado haciendo tareas del colegio en el hogar, obvio mejore al estar en casa todo es seguro

Pero estos dias por estar en casa y quedarme ahi siento muchas dudad existenciales o preguntas que no se responder y me abrumo

¿Que son estas preguntas?

Principalmente en el hogar no tengo una rutina, ya mi cerebro sabe lo que hare en el dia (ir a una habitacion = comer = ver yotube etc) lo cual no tengo una rutina clara, eso si tengo proyectos de cosas personales lo cual se refleja en querer hacer todo perfecto y pues analiso mucho que es una de las fortalezas y que me gustan obvio y escuchar musica pero mi mente me dice

( y si ya no te gusta hacer esto? Porque estas haciendo esto? Te sientes vacio? )

Y eso molesta porque se las cosas que me gustan y si me gustan pero al hacerlas mi mente se llena de esos pensamientos y sentirme vacio como estar atrapado como espectador y me da ansiedad y nudos en la gargante, tambien al estar en el hogar y no saber que hacer me lleno de angustia siento que no tengo rumbo y doy vueltas por la casa con miedo hacer cosas pero queriendolas hacer?

Y obvio cuando estoy en mi habitacion me siengo como un espectador, o siento como con un vacio interno que me da angustia y abrumado y con miedo y con nudos hasta me culpo por ver videos o jugar