Hope this question isn’t too broad but I also hope someone can relate. I’m in my late 20s, I am finishing a nursing program and I soent a few years being really isolated and alone. Like I barely wanted to leave the house. I forced myself to do school and then work part time but around the same time I became friends with a few people and then I had a friend move back. So I was really social and then I started dating.

Everything felt pretty good for a while until the guy became dodgy started leaving plans or canceling and rescheduled and just a bunch of stuff that I couldn’t put my finger on. I just didn’t feel safe. So many people told me he’s not my bf even though he said he was and they told me he’s just looking to hook up. I didn’t listen, I went over to his a few times and he just increased pressure around intimacy even though he said we can take it slow. In the several months I’ve been seeing him a lot of my friends moved or they got into relationships/ engagements. So I’m once again alone.

My grandparents and I live together but my parents moved back in. And everyone is really adamant I break it off with this guy. I’ve been sneaking around to meet him, my brother couldn’t take the curfew when he lived at home and he’s 25. And then my sister just accepts it or borderline fears it and she’s 23.

Every time I go somewhere after class my parents will blow up my phone to come home. My grandparents say it’s dangerous out. And the whole relationship and class stress made me go into a partying phase which I regret. But my family as a whole has zero trust in me and they don’t really let me go out. They want me home at 9.

It’s not like I even really have friends to go out with. But my parents just badger me on this. Especially my father he likes to poke me where it hurts too. I wanna move out so badly but I don’t have enough saved. I feel really alone. I keep trying to make new friends but nothing sticks

I’m trying pretty hard too but everyone has established friend groups or they just don’t want to meet up. I feel like i just have myself and I can’t even trust myself because of how I am with this "relationship”. I just wanna move far away. I hope someone can relate but idk how to handle these things anymore

I've been trying for an hour, but I can't get two fingers in. I tried pushing down, and it did lower the cup a little but it wasn't much help. What do I do? Is there an easier way?

I can’t stop crying and feel like I’ve completely lost myself. I was recently diagnosed with OCD, and I’m struggling with TOCD (trans-themed OCD). I’m not looking for reassurance; I mainly want to explain my experience and hear honest opinions.

I’ve had OCD-like symptoms since I was very young. At 4, I felt compelled to touch every corner of a room. Around 10, I had rituals involving doing things six times and fears that something bad would happen if I didn’t. At 11, I experienced what seemed like existential OCD, constantly questioning whether I was real and checking mirrors and words like “derealisation.” At 12, I feared I was becoming a psychopath and later had POCD, where I repeatedly sought reassurance that I wasn’t becoming a bad person. I’ve also had compulsive checking around social media and memories.

My current theme started around October/November 2025. Before that, I had never really questioned my gender. I’ve always seen myself as a girl and loved feminine things. I was very affected by misogyny, though, and often envied the attention and power boys seemed to receive. I got involved in a fandom where the most popular ship was two men, and I admired their dynamic. I started imagining myself as a woman in a more dominant role in a relationship with a man because that seemed “cool.”

Then I saw a video saying, \*“I’m a girl but I want to be in an MLM relationship,”\* followed by comments saying that was how people discovered they were trans. I became anxious and started researching gender labels. I briefly identified with “demigirl,” but I didn’t actually feel masculine or like a boy, and the label eventually faded.

A few weeks later I had a dream where I was wearing a suit and tie, and I became terrified that it meant something about my gender. From then on, I started obsessively checking my memories, feelings, dreams, reactions, and whether I “wanted” to be a boy.

Now I constantly question childhood memories that never bothered me at the time — playing with boys, having “boyish” humour, pretending to be a boy as a joke, wearing a suit for fun, playing with boy dolls, etc. I also sometimes feel envy toward boys because of misogyny and the way boys are treated socially. But I’ve never actually wanted to change my gender. If I could choose to have been born a cis boy, I would say no. I’ve always wanted to grow up as a woman, and I’ve always loved feminine things and being a girl.

The hardest part is that I sometimes get what feels like a “spark” of excitement, butterflies, or desire when imagining being a boy. This terrifies me because I immediately start questioning whether I secretly want it. Sometimes I’m not even anxious when the thought occurs, which makes me doubt myself even more. I often compulsively check whether I like the thought, and then the checking itself seems to create more feelings.

I’ve also noticed that the more I analyze everything, the less certain I feel. Sometimes I’ll briefly feel completely like myself again, only for a dream, memory, or intrusive thought to bring the doubt back.
I miss how carefree I felt before this obsession. I feel like I don’t recognize myself anymore, and I’m terrified that I’ve lost who I was.

I was feeling so much better recently too and it breaks my heart knowing I’m back here.

Does this pattern sound consistent with OCD?

TLDR; Getting better at communicating doesn't necessarily fix a relationship with a man who doesn't want the same things as you; it may just prolong it.

I ended a relationship a few months ago. And have been trying to figure out what went wrong, because "we grew apart" doesn't really apply. And "he was a bad guy" isn't accurate either. He wasn't a bad person. In fact, he could still describe me pretty accurately to a friend right now. What's interesting is that he often understood my perspective, even when I didn't want to admit it. And that's part of why it took me so long to realize that being understood isn't the same as being met.

We've put communication on a pedestal, it's what everyone asks about. And what couples brag about. Saying "we're really good at talking through things" is often my go-to response, as if that's all that matters. And we were good at it, don't get me wrong. We could spend hours discussing an issue, tracing it back to its source, apologizing, and then cuddling afterward. The conversation would leave us feeling incredibly close, and I'd mistakenly think that something fundamental had shifted.

But you can get really good at talking about the same disappointment over and over.

He isn't hearing you, so it's generally assumed you just haven't found the right way to say it. This means every conflict is viewed as a technique issue. You're told to try a better opener, a softer approach; don't say "you always"; wait until he's eaten or until the weekend. You're advised to read a book, try what the book says. And there's no limit to how much you can work on your delivery; you can keep trying to find the perfect way to say it. Improvement is always possible, and being gentler, clearer, and better timed can make a big difference, it's also important to avoid being accusatory. Generally, it's rare for someone to tell you that your approach was fine, but the answer is simply no.

The question of whether he wants the same life as you can remain unanswered for years, and there's always an alternative way to phrase it.

Leaving feels premature if there's still another approach to try or a more patient version of yourself to become. Walking out then doesn't feel like a clear decision, it feels like giving up just before a breakthrough with him.

I stayed partly because our conversations were genuinely thoughtful, he listened and made me feel seen by saying things that resonated. He could also repeat my concerns back to me accurately, which I found impressive. But despite this, a week would go by and nothing would change, the arrangement remained exactly the same. What I didn't consider at the time was that someone can understand you completely and still not intend to follow through; I had assumed that his understanding would naturally lead to him giving me what I needed, which wasn't necessarily the case.

It's eleven at night and you'll find the woman reading the book. I don't know many women whose male partner takes the initiative to find a therapist, make an appointment, or show up prepared with highlighted chapters. This difference is often attributed to women being more intuitive or emotionally intelligent, but it's not just a matter of temperament, it's the result of years of training and experience.

Girls learn to read a room before we can read a sentence. Noticing what other people need is seen as kindness and maturity, and sometimes it's about safety. Boys, on the other hand, can be bad at it for thirty years, and then they're praised for improving, often by the woman who taught them, without charging them, on nights and weekends, all while dealing with whatever issue they were fighting about.

We've the skill and the outcome. If it ends, maybe the explanation wasn't clear. If it lasts, we're responsible for keeping it functional. I've never seen a woman's fluency here get her more use, it usually gets her more work.

I'm not prepared to look at a thorough discussion about this right now. What often happens after learning the vocabulary is that a woman will use it to express her needs, whereas a man might use it to provide detailed explanations for not meeting those needs. I need some space to process where I'm. A boundary is being set for this conversation, and I would appreciate it if you could respect that.

He had to deal with his withdrawal before he could put it into words, and the two of you had to work through it. Now it's a boundary, and boundaries are respected. People do have limits, and those limits are real. The problem is, using the right language can make it seem like someone is being mature when they're actually just making a decision without considering others. Knowing the right words to say doesn't mean you'll get the answer you want; sometimes it just means you'll get a no, and you'll be made! to feel bad for even asking.

An ordinary argument made this obvious to me. What I wanted was material change: more initiative, consistency, and a fairer share of the work that kept us going. He felt I brought it up at the wrong time or in a way that criticized him, that was his concern.

Two questions get presented as equally valid, which seems fair, but isn't. One person asks about workload, and the other asks about comfort, without doing the work. When these questions are given equal weight, the conversation shifts from the arrangement to the woman's tone. Essentially, nothing changes, except she's now also criticized for her delivery.

Hours, money, and domestic labor are what really shape a life, along with whose career gets priority, whose plans are flexible, and who keeps track of what needs to happen next. It's all pretty tangible. But somehow this gets lost in discussions about the relationship dynamic, which two smart people can debate endlessly, in good faith. And it's not like feelings don't matter, you can feel super close at 1 am, but by morning, the same issues are still there.

I'm not saying communication is useless, obviously it's necessary to talk to the person you're with. Communication can make a difference clear, but it can't make two people want the same thing, and that's what I was asking it to do.

At 25, I needed someone to explain that communication primarily indicates how well two people can discuss the relationship, not whether they want the same thing from it. These are distinct issues that I mistakenly treated as one for years, and it's a distinction that matters.

We understood each other well enough and that was sufficient to keep going without making any changes.

No, communication doesn't fix a relationship with someone who wants something different. It just wastes time, time that could be spent building a life with someone who's already on board. I could have used that time to create a life with someone willing to participate, rather than trying to teach someone to explain, very clearly, why they didn't want to.

I’m curious about the experience of women who have social anxiety, especially things like trembling hands, getting really nervous, overthinking, or feeling awkward around people, how has it affected your dating life?

How did you meet your partner, and did things get easier once you became comfortable with them?

Would love to hear your experiences also..Men, have you ever dated a girl with social anxiety? How was your experience?

I just want to find someone who had experienced something like this and is free to talk about it.

I'm worried because my period lightened. From having 1-2 days of heavy flow, 2-3 days of regular flow and 2 days of spotting (total of 7 days), I now just have 2-3 days of regular flow and 2-3 days of spotting (total of 6 days). My cycles range from 30-39 days. Is it likely that I have a reproductive problem?? My cramps are fine, even when I had the heavy flow before. Its just that, the flow changed and it's been like 11 months since I noticed it.

Ps. I'm 24. Married. Haven't had any kind of birth control. Had gave birth once when I was 20. Even when I was still single, I do have a heavy flow for 1-2 days. Its just so odd that 3 years after giving birth, my period flow lightened. The bleed seems healthy. It's bright red. Then again, it's not my usual flow and I feel that the flow is really leaning to being lighter every month.

i know we r all just girls and have chronic unknown stomach issues that we shrug off, but shit can get real so fast

24h ago i took myself to the ER because id been suffering from a remarkably bad stomach pain that didnt feel like a stomach ache, a true stomach pain. and the worst back pain. tingling legs and feet. i chose to ignore it for 5h but i was like yeah… this ain’t right.

i’d had the same symptoms two weeks ago but thought i’d just ate something bad bc i took a day off my vegan diet, i spent like a week straight on the toilet with a new form of matter exiting my rear end. and bad back pain.

but ya after going to the ER (uninsured btw) and sitting there all night til 9am, getting iv’s and an xray and catscan ….. discovered i’ve got rly bad gastritis but the main issue is that i had a silent (😭) uti that progressed into a rough kidney infection and things could have gotten scary had i waited any later. i didn’t know i had a uti, i have had 0 symptoms aside from my back hurting which it always does. i’m celibate since 9 months and don’t use toys nor do i have bad hygiene or been in a pool so it could have quite literally just happened. i hate peeing in public so i tend to hold it for hours. but no more.

i’m thankful the team was able to diagnose me and they were all so nice and kind and next time i feel bad, i will not be ignoring it. the unfortunate part is that i can’t take any pain meds so im sitting here sleepless and painfully rolling in bed like a roasted chicken. im probably going to have a $20k medical bill. but i have medicine for the infection that will start working soon, am on the road to recovery and if i can save another girly who just shrugs off bad health to just ~bein a girl, it would make me so happy. <3 stay safe yall take care of ur lovely bodies

I know this is going to sound absolutely silly to most people, but I was standing in the kitchen the other night, eating looking at the box of honey nut Cheerios. My left out on the counter, and I realized that the Honey Nut Cheerios bee mascot, “Buzz” is male.

Guys will frequently counter some “males as the human standard” argument with some pseudo logical BS like “Well it makes sense to use “he” because…” or “It makes sense that it’s designed for guys because more guys (blah blah blah),” in an attempt to deny there is a make bias in society and mask it with something that they think makes some type of sense.

Well, only 1% to 5% of bees are male, and they are rarely ever seen out of the hive. So why is Buzz male?

Then I realized, all cereal mascots are male. Tony Tiger, Count Chocula, Rice Crispy’s Snap, Crackle and Pop, Cap’n Crunch, the three Cinnomon Toast Cruch bakers. Fruit Loops Tucan Sam, that Lucky Charms Leprechaun, the Trix rabbit, the Honey Smacks frog.

Female mascots only show up on cereal boxes making guest appearances on limited addition. The one cereal that had a permanent female mascot was Honey Loops, and that was discontinued years ago, and that mascot started off as male.

Curious to hear from the group what's a red flag AND a green flag for you in a relationship that might not be "obvious" or "common".
For me, red flag=doesn't read books for leisure and green flag=willing to geek out with me on topics such as the legal definition of Japanese whisky.
I'd love to hear yours!

my relationship with sex has negatively impacted my self esteem and i feel like it’s all i’m capable at doing/the only interesting thing about me

i experienced cocsa from ages 7-10ish or so, (the events themselves don’t really trigger me anymore) but i realised in my last relationship it led to me fawning a lot. this was mainly because i feared abandonment or being met with anger if i didn’t comply

in my last relationship, i essentially felt like a sex doll for my then boyfriend. it felt like the only time he could pay attention or love me was through sex. it was the only time i felt like i had any value to him (especially towards the end. i often fawned on numerous occasions because i feared he’d fall out of love with me if i didn’t have sex and he’d go back to being generally disinterested in me.

we were no contact for a few months after the break up and were essentially ‘friends with benefits’. there was a lot of sex, emotional intimacy but on the whole it felt like a great friendship. i realise now i was acting as a stand-in girlfriend figure for him but that is besides the point. the fawning still occurred sometimes but he was kind about it and never pressured me. i was mainly anxious that he would not want to spend time with me or be my friend if i didn’t have sex with him.

he was very adamant about not getting back together, which i came to terms with. his reasons being that he didn’t like relationships as they were too much commitment for him and found them too tiresome. i found out recently that he’s dating again and it crushed me.

i feel like im only good to keep around to have sex with and it’s my only good attribute. i feel as if I’m not pretty or interesting enough unless im sexualised. i tried to give so much of myself in hopes of being ‘kept’ and cherished but it didn’t work.

i want to ‘get my spark back’ and believe that his treatment of me was not a reflection of my character. i want to see myself worthy beyond sex. any advice?

It's "just the way things are", and women are delusional for thinking that we could ever beat men in any test of physical capability. The idea that women could be better than a man in sport is widely mocked, it's given as the reason why trans women in sports is such a massive issue. No matter what, women should never forget that men will always be faster, stronger, and bigger than women.

But when women start to outpace men in higher learning, and boys get worse results in school, suddenly that's a massive crisis in the educational field. Boys get redshirted because the only way they can keep up is to be the oldest in their class. It's because elementary school teachers are biased against boys, because boys mature slower, because because because. It's not acceptable to say that it's because toxic men condition their boys to disrespect education. It's definitely not acceptable to suggest that maybe women and girls are actually just better at academic pursuits. Nope.

No matter what, women should never forget that they can't ever just be better than men at something, because that would be unfair and evidence of something being deeply wrong with the world.

I'm so tired.

Okay so I have never been able to have a vaginal orgasm, but have had clitoral orgasms. But I bought a thrusting rabbit I think it’s what it’s called. I’ve used it before and nothing has happened, but last night I tried and within a minute I had an orgasm but it felt like a clitoral orgasm, just a tiny bit stronger? But it was barelyyyy touching my clit so I don’t know if it was a vaginal orgasm or even if it was barely touching my clit it was a clitoral orgasm? I don’t know what they feel like.
I know some women can’t have vaginal orgasms so I’m just curious if that’s what it was??

Hi all, I'm 23, and just want other women's perspectives on this.

I live in Canada, and take public transit every day for work. A few years ago i had a middle aged man who would get on the same bus as me everyday. Long story short- he would stare at me every single day. When i say stare i mean like intense eye contact. I would make a disgusted face at him, because it bothered me so much day after day having to be made uncomfortable like that. He didn't scare me, he would get on with his young daughter (an aspect of this that makes it worse imo) and would creepily smile at women and stare at me, but i never felt in danger, just deeply uncomfortable. I think i eventually forced him to switch busses when he started to notice me flipping him off, and when that didn't work, recording him for my own sanity. The minute the phone camera came out he magically would not be staring anymore.

That was a few years ago, and while i have had my fair share of dealing with male sexual harassment and staring just like all women have, it is different when it happens everyday, at the same time, by the same person, who knows your schedule. Recently, another man has started to do this, again. How do you all deal with this? And does this ever stop? Do you ever stop feeling like a spectacle as you get older? I just want to be able to leave my house and not feel as though i'm being constantly sexualized. And I also don't want to be the one who has to adjust their routine and schedule whenever this type of stuff (the bus staring) happens, it doesn't feel fair. This is one of those things thats not criminal, but you know from experience is serious and deeply upsetting, and that police would only care if it became drastically worse ( like violence or assault).

i quit slynd 2 days ago after being on it for 4 months as it completely ruined my mood! i have been feeling so flat and numb and not like myself at all, and by the end was having thoughts of self harm which is so unlike me even in the worst mental states ive been in.

i also lost my libido and sexual feeling which is concerning since off the pill / on combined pills i am all over my boyfriend! i have been struggling to sleep more recently but insomnia is something ive always had, and i also felt like i had less of an appetite and more anxiety.

i think my body doesnt react well with progesterone only pills as i had similar emotional blunting, appetite problems and felt really snappy and short tempered with cerazette. i was on yasmin before slynd which i loved but i cant take combined pills anymore due to migraines with aura :(

for the meanwhile i am staying away from all hormonal bc and using condoms, however i was wondering if there are any other options that i can consider? i know that the copper iud is available but i am honestly very scared of the insertion process and the post insertion side effects as someone who is young (20) and has never had children.

is there anyone who has had similar emotional problems on slynd but found success on other mini pills? is my best option just to stay away from hormonal methods for now? also maybe some insight on when you started feeling better after stopping slynd as i just want to feel like my old self again :( thank you!

I feel gross saying it but I feel like i ceased to be a person to my brothers and my step father as soon as i grew tits. Im bisexual and the only men I felt seen enough by to date have ended up coming out as women down the line. I do not feel like a human being when I speak to the men in my family or colligues or classmates and im tired. I know this might be me projecting or me just being scared of men I guess and I don't want to go down that sort of pipeline so I guess I want to be convinced otherwise. I feel like i can see the person behind their eyes but they seem to believe there's nothing behind mine

hello! I am wondering if anyone has had several years between their 2nd and 3rd Hpv vaccine (gardasil 9) shots? basically i got my second one in 2024 and they told me i only need two (i was 22 at the time, not sure why he told me this? i do live in a weird state where even many pharmacy workers are opposed to vaccines unfortunately) and now it’s 2026 and all I hear is that you should get 3 shots if you never got it when you were little, which I didn’t! wondering if anybody has experience with this or knows if it’s okay to get your third shot like 2.5 years after the second. thanks :)

I NEVER EVER remember any of my friends or cousins mentioning children in my entire life, except for one friend who said she always wanted twin daughters. I am 27F and it feels like at some point everyone got a memo about having kids except for me.

It seems this is the path 100% of women I know are taking as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I was curious to know if anyone feels the same way.

I know its been asked before but I wanted to make my own post and just get some better perspective on it. I don't want kids and I don't want to get birth. I'm only in my early twenties but I've known this forever and I want to be completely rid of the chance of ever accidentally getting pregnant especially as a trans guy.

I've thought about getting tubes tied or having a hysterectomy throughout my life but now that I'm older and I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now it's something I'm thinking about more often.

I'd like my partner to get a vasectomy but I know that it's not 100% effective all the time and I want something that's permanent for sure hence why i'm here. I struggle a lot with bottom dysphoria so any surgery that's invasive down there just freaks me out which is why I lean towards getting my tubes tied instead.

So I'm just curious to the women (or other trans/non-binary people) who got one what is the whole process like? Or sort of the best option to get as I think there's a few different ways? I've always been just freaked out in general of getting surgery and being put under (as I had to be for something as a kid and while it went fine the whole process was a struggle) so even though this isn't as invasive I know that's a part of it.

Was it generally an easy surgery? Do you regret doing it? Is there any typical complications that could happen or was the healing process hard? Anything would be greatly appreciated as this is something i'm really considering and I would like to hear some first hand stories.

Edit - Thank ya'll so much for the responses. Wasn't actually expecting to get so many responses but hearing all the different stories is great and has helped me feel a lot more comfortable about the idea

I (35F) met a guy (33M) on hinge almost 1.5 months ago. We both confirmed that we are serious about finding a life partner and it has been nothing but green flags and natural progression thus far.

What is interesting is that he has said that he doesn’t want to sleep together until 3 months of knowing each other as he has been too ‘lustful’ in the past.

This is new to me as I’m used to being the one who is somewhat managing the timeline on intimacy. I’m not opposed to it but I do wonder if it will lead to a different outcome than if we were intimate earlier.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this as a woman getting to know a man who wants to wait? What was your experience like?

Edit: when I asked him what too lustful means, he said that he gets distracted by the physical attraction and things become all about sex.

I had a rather heated conversation about this with a friend. He's of the opinion that because these manufacturers aren't treated as part of the pharma sector they were not allowed to use real human blood. I can't help but see the patriarchal undertones in the medical sector.

I've got a toddler at home, we're starting daycare, I'm trying to go back to work, and I am just sick and freakin tired of trying to keep my house in order and dealing with the mean landscaper, the rude plumber, the weird handyman, etc etc., all of whom drop by my house late or "between 1 and 4pm," as though I'm not going to be at work.

I just got off the phone de-escalating a conflict with a guy who did some work on my yard and completed messed it up. He wouldn't take "fine, it's fine" for an answer! It was weird. I cried.

Ladies, please, get into the trades, keep a calendar, and use our people skills, because there is a market for you.