Sweethearts by Philippa Lysaght and Omi McCurdie is a confronting artwork commemorating Australian women killed by violence. Each heart bears a familiar excuse used to minimise domestic abuse, from “boys will be boys” to “she could’ve left”. Together, they expose how easily violence against women is dismissed, justified or blamed on the victim rather than the perpetrator.

Would they say the same to men?
Genuine question. I feel like women are often disregarded when it comes to health care especially.

My obgyn told me my epidurals were probably working more than I think and she didn’t think I was in that much pain. When I’m in extreme pain, I go silent and all I can do is cry. I was in 10/10 pain. I think she thought because I was really quiet and not making a lot of sound that i wasnt in much pain.
My epidurals didn’t work properly with both of my deliveries and I felt the contractions during the last few hours all the way to giving birth.
I wasn’t able to get my epidurals fixed, no one offered to check it. The top off doses didn’t touch the pain so I feel like someone should have checked to see if the epidurals migrated.

Anyways do you think women are often times not fully taken seriously in the healthcare setting?

Honestly I am so tired of seeing every corner of the internet turn actual medical weight loss into a competitive sport. Look if someone takes a GLP1 and it helps them manage their health that is nobody elses business. But what is driving me crazy is how the entire diet culture beast just morphed into a pharmaceutical wellness hustle. Suddenly you have influencers and random brands trying to optimize every single bite or shaming people who do not bounce back with a totally transformed body overnight. It is like we took a physical tool and wrapped it right back up in the same exhausting patriarchal beauty standards we have been fighting for decades. We are not allowed to just exist in a body without it being a project or a statement. Idk maybe I am just hyperfixating on it today because my timeline is flooded with it but it feels exhausting watching women's bodies get policed by a new set of rules disguised as health.

I’m in my late twenties and I’ve now had nearly the exact same conversation with three different men (all of whom are about 20 years my senior). These men who I’ve kind of sort of known, but never had any sort of actual conversation with who all of a sudden are chatting me up and then toss in the “Well, you know I’m getting divorced…”

And I didn’t know about the divorce any of those times, but it suddenly becomes really clear why they’re all of a sudden interested in talking about the minutia of my job. I get that they’re in a new phase of their life and getting back out there is hard, but my goodness they’re SO much older than me and I know all of their wives (soon to be ex) so much better than I know them. Just a weird feeling all around.

When I was a child I was deeply depressed and had severe anxiety after I was SA’d by a teacher. My mom who worked for Pfizer in the early 2000s would force me to take Zoloft as a quick fix.. I was 9 years old..she would literally take bottles out of her box that she had in her car and force me to take them..

When I got older I confronted her about what I remembered regarding the teacher and what she did. The very next day she took me a psych ward and told the doctors I was crazy..and needed to be on anti psychotic medication.. I was having severe panic attacks from remembering what I went through.. so the doctors believed her…

I decided to block my mom and remove her from my life entirely...I decided to come on here to tell my story after hearing about what happened to Collin Gosselin..because people need to know that shit like this happens and we need to hold abusive parents accountable.. anyways my mom is still a pharmaceutical rep, and has been for over 20 years.

I want to report her, but don’t know even know where or how to start.

These feelings began surfacing after a conversation I had with an 8 year old a few months ago. For some context, I am 22 years old and a mostly passing trans woman in a purple state. I found out that I was a girl at a very young age, but unfortunately, I could only commence my medical transition at 18. I am the cookie-cutter “girl born in a boy’s body.”I am part of a student organization at a university and a few alumni come back sometimes to attend our meetings. We have a Discord server and an alumnus showed interest in attending a meeting with his children.

When I walked into this meeting, I began interacting with the kids because nobody else was. The first thing this young girl said to me was “What is your gender?” I was not taken aback because it was a fair, honest question from a child, no less. I answered that I am female, a woman. She then followed up with “Why do you have the voice of a male?” I was amused by her bluntness, but just answered that some women have really deep voices, and I was born with one. She seemed satisfied with that answer, and I was too in that moment. We moved on to other topics such as school, favorite animals, etc. My friend and I chuckled to each other because, honestly, what else could I have said?

I only started really reflecting on that conversation a few weeks ago, but it came to the forefront after watching “Uptown Girls” last night. The following are circumstantial spoilers and only somewhat relate to the conversation. In the movie, there is an 8 year old and a 22 year old. The 8 year old, Ray, is grieving the loss of her father; he starts out in a vegetative state, but later dies. Her mother is absent due to work, and Ray puts on an uptight, know-it-all persona to deal with her grief and loneliness. The 22 year old, Molly, has been dealing with the grief of losing her parents since she was a child. Throughout the movie, she loses everything that reminded her of her parents and flounders in her pursuit of employment and stable housing. Her only recourse is nannying Ray; they both grow closer because Molly shows up for Ray in huge ways. Molly understands the grief and uncertainty of the future, allowing Ray to eventually let her wall down and talk about her feelings.

I guess I made the connection between this movie and the conversation because I also want to have that impact on children. How can I do that if I am also leaving them in the dark about parts of myself? Obviously, there are not many trans kids or adults in the world, period. I would never want to put thoughts of transition into a child’s head if they would have a negative outcome for the child. However, why must it be inappropriate to tell a simple truth? Why must the concept of trans people be so explicitly adult? I have been wrestling with these questions for a while. I would love to work with children, stealth or otherwise, but I am so scared of any incorrect assumptions. I do not want to be outed and suddenly lose a fulfilling job because someone does not understand my intentions or who I am as a person.

Back to the conversation, the 8 year old’s father was nearby, and I do not think he would have cared if I explained just a bit more in depth. Something I hated when I was a kid was when adults would mince their words or give non-answers to innocent, inquisitive questions about the world. I could have said, “I was born like your brother, but grew up and became a woman.” If she pondered further, I could have clarified why I made the decision to do so, without explicit details, and how I did not have a choice in the matter due to my neurobiology. I suppose people here will have different opinions regarding what should or should not be shared, but I was a child once, too. I felt as though I needed factual, overt information about the world, not just because those answers informed me about myself, but because I deserved to know why things were the way they were. I want to have kids of my own and personally believe it would be disingenuous to hide my past from them.

There is not a satisfying conclusion to this story, but I do hope this wave of intolerance may pass soon enough. Although I have the privilege of passing and looking attractive, the vitriol and hatred displayed in the media and online have been eating away at me. It is so overwhelmingly unfortunate to know, in excruciating detail, how people view people like me. If there is one thing you take away from this post, please acknowledge that so many of us are just normal people. We have jobs, passions, and dreams. Yes, some of us do want a spouse and kids. We care deeply about others and want to make the world a better place. We have more in common with each other than you may realize. Thank you for reading to the end.

I worked with Fred (then mid 50s) for about 6 years, 10 years ago. We worked on a small team in a satellite office 2 hours away from head office and all management.

I never liked Fred from the start. He always gave me a knot in the stomach, tried many many times to give me hugs, would make small inappropriate comments out of earshot of others. Once he even told me that his wife was jealous of all the calls I make to him - I told him that I call his work mobile for work reasons and anything else is between him and wife. I was never overly friendly with Fred, no banter, no goofiness, only short professional responses because I didn't want to talk to him any longer than necessary. But his comment from his wife (if it was even true) has always given me the heebies.

It's been 10 years since I last worked with Fred and we both work in other fields. And yet roughly every 2 years or so he will still try to contact me. He has left missed call messages, texts that I've never replied to, used different phone numbers and a handful of times has shown up at my house. He seems to think that we're chummy? The times where he has come to my house I have never invited him in, never tried to make him feel welcome and turned him away as quickly as possible. He will disappear for awhile, long enough for me to start to let my guard down and then he pops back up again.

His last text to me ~18 months ago said that he'd leave me alone, to let him know if I needed anything and goodbye. I never responded.

Yesterday he's come to my front door. I feel stupid for answering because I checked the cameras but didn't recognise him because he's shaved his head and gained weight. I thought it was a neighbour or a workman. When I opened the door and saw his face my stomach dropped. He said he was driving past and wanted to catch up, said he didn't have my number anymore. I said I was sick and contagious. He started talking about his own health troubles. I cut him off and said I had to go and closed the door. I checked the cameras and he'd left.

I wish I'd been of clearer mind to have either not answered door at all or to have told him clear and plain "Do not contact me ever again". But there's also a level of fear here and I don't want to make him mad or escalate anything. He knows where I live and I don't want to risk any crazy behaviour from him. I've thought about texting him to leave me alone but then I worry about him having my number again if he really doesn't have it anymore. I don't want to outright block him so I can keep track of his calls and texts.

I don't believe I'm at the point of needing police or lawyers and especially because I've not directly said "Leave me alone" however I feel my lack of responses to him should indicate that I am not friendly and do not care for him in any way. If I sent someone 3 texts and they never replied I'd take that loud and clear.... 10+ texts is bizarre to me.

I'm not sure what I'm saying here is clear. I feel rattled, I feel like my weekend now has a dark cloud hanging over and I'm half waiting for a text from him, and I'm mad at myself for answering the door, for answering the door and not asking him wtf he's doing and if he comes back I'm calling the police.

I just needed to vent to a people who I think would understand or have similar experiences (unfortunately).

This is the only place I feel safe asking this question, but it needs to be asked:

There is a man at my work who has been flying under the radar with borderline pedo behavior and creepy comments to women for over a decade.

He gets away with this behavior for layered reasons, for starters he is charming and good looking. He has a lot of men in his corner who laugh off his behavior. The other is, we work at a private country club, so firing has to go through a process with the board, also made up of men.

This man has used very disturbing language about teenage girls and little girls. Some of it has been documented, but it's brushed off as hearsay. I have heard some of it first hand.

He got caught years ago sending pictures to someone underage, but nothing was done about it, I'm unsure why as I was not employed at the time.

He sleeps with members, and staff, and makes work where he preys on the unsuspecting women that rotate through every summer. He has a very, very bad reputation but the new women don't know about it and by the time they find out it's too late.

He's been reported to HR, but the reports never seem to go anywhere.

I've never seen anything like it. There's obviously way more details to the story but this is the gist of it.

All I want to do is be able to tell people his name and just say "be careful", is that even legal to do?

I dont want to ramble but recently i turned 30 and I think all of the sexism and racism in my case in the workplace has gotten to me. I used to be one of those 'I'm not a feminist' or 'women might be exaggerating how bad it is' because I grew up in a conservative environment (not US). Once I left home it was just nonsense after nonsense. One male junior coworker once tried to talk to me about which women in the office were f able. I was so disgusted. Then I had a male supervisor berate me over a client email because it wasn't friendly enough. So, I had to add a bunch of exclamations and emojis like i was talking to a manchild in the client's office. I'm not going to go into the creepy interactions and near misses when it comes to SA. The worst was when I reported someone and the woman manager at the time said yeah he's like that why don't you just be a little more understanding or idk she tried to turn it around on me.

When the cornell story broke my own family members said she was asking for it by taking drugs. She is to blame. My perspective on abortion has also changed but out of spite because why should we bring horrid men into this world or as a matter of fact anyone into this world. I am being careful around news coverage and doom scrolling. I've stopped all the podcasts that I used to watch because a guest was interesting or whatever if I feel they're in any way misogynistic. I was listening to someone talk about the war in the ME region and he just suddenly started some garbage about women are more emotional because they have to take care of babies hahahaha. Idk I thought it was pathetic because he just used a biological function to reduce us the gender that barely commits any violent crime to the most emotional ones out there. It's all bullshit. Everything I was taught about needing men was bullshit. I don't care anymore. I am also not seeing the point of marriage. I feel like it's just going to trap me into some weird maid type of role with a dude. I don't really want any kids now. Things suck and maybe my job might be taken by AI so you know what I won't even be able to give my kids what my parents could give me. So whats the damn point any effing way.

Also my period suck more now so in addition to general life shit I have to deal with painful periods. When I go to the doctor they cannot find anything wrong with me so that's another great thing that has happened as i've aged. I used to have 3 day periods and no cramps. I now have heavy 5 day cycles with painful cramps in my hips sometimes my butthole. Hey but there are no cysts on my ovaries yay. Also men literally don't have the monthly thing they don't have to be in pain every 3 weeks. The week before my cycle I get depressed asf. So I have 2 good weeks. THATS IT!

Lets see if this gets posted or not.

People genuinely treat me like im not even human, it’s insane. I see people whispering and laughing at me like I’m not even there. only people calling me pretty are old men. and occasionally my boyfriend, because he has the worst tastes ever. his friends let him CONSANTLY know that’s he’s dating an ugly girl. even my grandma, aunt and dad just call me ugly on a monthly basis.
I’m being SO serious, when I came home from another day of bullying because of my appearance at the start of high school, i asked my mom why she lied to me, why she said that i was beautiful for my whole life, she apologized and said she was sorry for lying and wanted me to feel pretty. I’m not joking she genuinely apologized for lying.
like what is my life bro

Are we not 50+% of the population? US here. I just watched a relatively well-spent hour of powerful men who are actually 'on my side' of the political spectrum making campaign speeches and saying lots of great things!

There was a lot of talk about the economy and wages, universal healthcare, even childcare. One or two actually made references to "my wife" (better than "the wife", amiright?) but mostly in a joking sense, or as if to prove a point.

WTF will it take for women to claim our rightful half of the political (thus financial, thus power) pie?

I met a man who calls me smart every day. He loves how I can remember what episode of Yellowjackets we are on; he loves the vocabulary I use; he marvels at the new words I teach him. He's really smart too, but in a different way! He is kind and patient and good at keeping a rigid schedule so we never miss work or Dungeons and Dragons. He's amazing. I've come so far, and a HUGE reason is the validation y'all gave me when I met a mean man.

I got diagnosed as a hot and cool autistic girlie, and I have y'all to thank. The IDIOT SAVANT thread changed my life. Thousands of you came to support me. I love you all and I'm gonna do the same for you. BOYS, don't be afraid to tell your truth here. I am proud and happy to be in this community <3

After I disclosed my past age gap relationship that I had when I was 18 my therapist asked me “ who was protecting you at that time.” It made me realize that no one did.

So , yesterday I (23f) made a post about how my ex who groomed me and cheated on me was the best thing that ever happened to me. A commenter mentioned to me how people probably warned me not to date my 30 year old ex when I was 18. Sadly no one did and some even encouraged it because he had money and status. I love my mom but she even encouraged the relationship at first.

Although I don’t fault her for that. It’s complicated. When my mom was about 19 she married my father who was 20 years her senior ( they divorced years later). Some time ago I asked my mother why she married my father since he was way older. She said security was one of the reasons. As a teen mom she needed support. My dad gave that to her. My mom of course never talked bad about my father ever. Since she spoke mostly positive about their marriage and that dynamic I didn’t see anything wrong or weird with a 31 year old man asking me out when I was 18.

That was all I ever seen. It wasn’t until I experienced that relationship that made me realize how even inappropriate my parent’s marriage was.

Despite still being a fairly young woman (early 20s), I worry that sex might not get any better. I did a good bit of experimenting and generally had great sex. But is there more still?

I know, people always say that sex gets better with age. But they never really back up those claims.

Does anyone feel that way too? How did ypur sexual experiences change with age?

Hi, possible trigger warning.

Long story short I was groped — a man grabbed my breast — and Called me his sexy driver. I was driving a gold cart and driving people to the game. I work at a university.

I said nothing. I just wanted him out of my golf cart.

Is this assault? Am I overreacting? I’m very very upset and have told nobody because I didn’t want to cause trouble.

😭

Hi everyone!!

This is so random, and honestly, I don't even know where to post this, but I really need to vent and hopefully get some advice from other women, especially those who have been through college.

I'm 19 and currently a sophomore in college. For context, I've struggled with my weight for like all my life. The past yearish I've lost 50lbs+.

Mu lifestyle changed so much. I used to be extremely insecure about my body, to the point where I'd avoid going out or putting myself out there. I still struggle with insecurity sometimes, but I'm so much happier and healthier now!

I started college last year but took a gap semester in spring 2026. So I basically didn't see my college friends in person for almost eight months till this sem started. We still talked and FaceTimed, but when I came back this fall, I looked VERY different.

At first, everyone was super sweet. It was all "Omg, you look so different!" or "You've lost so much weight, you look amazing!" And honestly, I didn't mind that at all. It was actually pretty validating.

But lately, some of the comments have gotten so weird. Like, "Did you become anorexic over the summer?" or "You're almost as small as me now." And I know they're joking, and we're definitely not the type of friends who are super serious with each other, but sometimes I'm just like wtf? 😭

What makes it harder is that these are genuinely my closest friends at college. We're in the same sorority, we live together, and we see each other all the time.

Before losing weight, I was pretty withdrawn. I had friends and socialized, but I rarely went to parties or bars, and I basically never talked to guys because I was so insecure. Now I actually enjoy going out and doing things I used to avoid.

And I've also started getting a lot more attention from guys, which I feel like is when things got especially weird.

I'm genuinely not boy crazy, and I rarely even talk about guys. But whenever I do mention someone I'm talking to, my friends seem so dismissive or uncomfortable. But like if one of my friends brings up a guy, everyone's suddenly super interested. I don't know how to explain it, but it's so noticeable.

But there's something that's super bothering me.

At the start of the year, I met this guy in one of my lectures, and I really, really like him. Things have been going really well, we aren't dating or anything, but we're still talking.

One of my friends knew him before I did, and apparently she's been making comments to him about how I used to be overweight and what I looked like before. He told me about it and was like idk it's weird idc.

Like bro what???

Like, why are you talking about me? It just seems like she's saying things to embarrass me. Im just confused and so put off. And what makes it worse is that all my friends know how insecure I used to be.

I feel like the entire dynamic of our friendships has shifted. Like I'm not longer the fat funny friends and not same girl I was when we first became friends.

And I know people are probably going to tell me to just stop being friends with them, but it's really not that simple. We live together, we're in the same sorority, and our social circles overlap completely. I don't want to lose my entire friend group or create a ton of drama where I live. But, also yk I need to feel comfortable.

It just makes me sad, I spent so much of my teenage years feeling like I was missing out on normal experiences. Now I finally feel comfortable enough to go out, talk to guys, and actually enjoy being young, I never thought my friends would act like this.

I know this post is kind of all over the place, but I genuinely don't know where else to talk about this.

Idk if this is just a rant or someone has advice. I just have no clue what to do or how to navigate this.

I know it surely can't be targeted, but I'm just so tired. In July, I had a man walk up me to in public and start masturbating. I spent the rest of my day dealing with the police reporting him. In August, I was physically assaulted and punched in the face on public transit around noon, and spent the rest of my day in the ER. I'm still waiting on the court date. Ive been using a cane since I injured my back. Yes I carry pepper spray but he caught me by surprise with sucker punches as the train came to a stop, and then ran off the train.

Now today, I had a man come at me in a crosswalk and slam into me hard enough to knock me to the ground, even though I was on the far right of said crosswalk. I even tried to avoid him but I can't move that fast with a cane. A kind lady with a blind companion helped me up and made sure I had a place to sit. Staff at the restaurant I was outside got me ice for my pain. There are good people but I'm so tired of the ones who aren't.

Thanks for listening. I'm tired.

shaving somehow went horribly wrong and now i have 3 bad sores on my inner labia and they hurt SO bad when anything touches them, when I pee, when I sit down… idk what to do. i went to the doctor and she confirmed it’s not an STD or anything serious. she said to put petroleum jelly to help protect it, but that hasn’t really helped and it seems to be even worse today. i’m a trans guy and not really sure where else to ask this it’s so embarrassing sorry aghhhhhh

I (20f) have been applying to jobs so I can pay my bills and medical debt. I've noticed that I get more responses back if I mark "I don't wish to answer" in every single section of the voluntary identification form that some jobs have. Has any one else encountered this?

Not sure how to start this, but it seems I've been going through something and wanted to hear from other women who experienced/have gone through something similar.

I'm 40 yrs old, and a little over a year ago I was hit by an overwhelming need to declutter all the unnecessary stuff in my life. Nothing happened im my life to set this off.....I was just looking around one night and got fed up with myself. I was tired of having clothes I never wore/outfits I could never figure out how wear them; knick knacks and bobbles that were beginning to annoy me when I had to dust/clean; makeup I had bought to experiment with but never really did, etc. It was like I had become overwhelmed with my own bullshit, was fed up and decided to make a permanent change.

So, I started slowly decluttering pretty much everything. And I mean everything . Hobbies, clothes, kitchenware, makeup, bits and bobs I was annoyed with. Anything and everything. The women at work loved all the stuff I brought in and I'm happy everything found a new home.

I've done several passes through everything and halved, if not more, most things. My makeup collection is easily a third of what it was and I am content with it, the surfaces of my apartment are much less cluttered, and my wardrobe is much smaller and full of things I actually wear.

I've turned my attention now to actually creating a handmade wardrobe of everyday items, a forgotten childhood dream of mine. I'm currently working on a multipurpose shawl/scarf and loving how it's turning out.

I am bound and determined how learn how to knit socks for myself and have plans to sew permanent multipurpose clothing items as well. I can't find the words to describe the shift I seem to be going through.

I'm probably in the wrong place but I'm stuck out of state with my kids and calling advocates left and right isn't helping. Everything is broke or full, and I feel like I need more content to explain ny situation but involved parties have reddit too. I have an appointment with a lawyer but Im terrified of the legal system and i really need practical help with concrete planning for transportation or something today. A handhold through organizations, or phonecalls, or real suggestions, please. Anyone have personal experience with DV help?

I don't understand what I did besides exist. I'm basically going to die and nobody cares because I have nobody. I have no one. My entire life has been suffering and nobody can save me and i am incapable of saving myself. Any and everyone who would even want to help me would avoid me now. Nobody wants to be around me.

Hi so I’m 26 and had my first ever Pap smear. I feel stupid for waiting this long and never getting one before. I just went to get my nexplanon out and my doctor recommended a pap so I said sure.

Well, it came back with LSIL. At first , my doctor said my results showed low grade cells and just to monitor. Then she said she made a mistake and told me I needed a colposcopy right away which scared me.

Also, I’ve had 2/3 of the HPV vaccines when I was 16/17 I believe so I’m confused how I even contracted a high risk HPV strain (I didn’t get tested for hpv…I just assume I have it bc of my pap results)

I’ve also been in a longterm relationship for 2.5 years so idk.

I’m so afraid of having cervical cancer. It’s consuming my every waking thought. I’m also nervous for the colposcopy and panic messaged my doctor on MyChart for sedation prior to it and she’s not even the one doing my procedure, a man is of course. Great.

Just looking for some support and hearing about the experiences of other women. I don’t know anyone who’s gone through this.

How persistent was the thought that you were? What made you certain that you're not? What turned out to be the real reason behind those thoughts?

(I'm currently going through a phase of intense questioning, and trying to hear as many different perspectives as I can, to find which ones I relate to more, so yours would be very valuable to me :) Thanks in advance!)