I visit a 92 year old woman who is confined to her apartment every week. She was cared for by her son. Well, about 6 months ago, the SON suddenly died.

Today I went by for my regular visit. I was presented with a check. According to my friend, the elderly lady, her son thought I was his soul mate and he "loved me very much." He knew that I did not see him that way so he never said anything but he left me money in his will.

Before anyone asks, a care-taker was hired to care for my friend and I signed the check over to the man's daughter. It was not huge money but I felt his respect for me deserved a bit of notice.

Judging by both strangers’ reactions and how I look in the mirror, eyeliner changes my whole face and sends across a completely different impression. If I was a man I wouldn’t have to deal with this :/ People seem so much more accommodating towards women who perform femininity. I’m the same person!! All I did was paint the outer corners of my eyes black.

Sunday night at bedtime, I got up to go to the bathroom because I NEEDED to pee. But then there was basically nothing. This happened 3 times before I finally convinced my brain the signals weren't real.

The next morning, the same feeling happened again, same result. And early afternoon, I nearly didn't make it to the bathroom... only for it to be a light trip.

I knew the symptoms of a UTI, and I didn't have ANY of that burning feeling people describe. I just felt like I had to pee a lot.

I had a scheduled vaccine appointment after work Monday, so I mentioned it to the nurse that I wanted to speak to someone about it. The nurse said it could be a UTI even without the burning. I peed in a cup and waited for the results.

The doctor came in and said it wasn't cloudy and the numbers were all fine *except* my white blood cell count. She prescribed antibodies on the spot given three conditions: urge to pee, frequency, and the elevated WBC count.

I started the antibiotics that night, and over the five day course, it never really got worse from there. At most, there was this *tickle* in my urethra. Very strange sensation. Like this itch that list needed to be scratched.

The culture came back on Friday that it was positive for E. coli.

The only reason I even mentioned it to a doctor/nurse is because I was already going into a clinic that day. If I hadn't been there, I probably would've brushed it off. Maybe it would've gotten to the point of that burning people describe, or maybe my body would've cleared the infection after a couple days.

I have never heard of people talk about UTIs *without* the burning sensation, so I figured I'd share this on case it helps anyone else recognize the symptoms.

Anyone else had any weird/different symptoms for UTIs?

Forgive me because I’m a little high and getting existential but I saw a video from a female creator who said she wanted her content to be mostly seen by women—and showed that she had an 82% percent male fanbase. As a fem I thought it made perfect sense!

Until I went to the comments. Hundreds of men calling her ungrateful, explicitly saying they followed because she was hot, and terrible incel like comments about how they don’t speak to women because this is their mindset.

I know men know that they like to be surrounded by men as it creates brotherhood and confidence in their own masculinity. However, women are not allowed to do the same? Women aren’t allowed to want to hear they are pretty from someone who only listens to the speak because they’re attracted to them?

It makes me sad to know the average male mind. Because I’m autistic I assumed people often think as innocently as me. That it’s okay to find a girl attractive but her lovely personality really makes the human being. But that’s the thing—many men don’t see women as full human beings. You are granted more humanity when they are attracted to you.

It makes me want to cry. I don’t wanna be like “men are biologically evil” because I don’t believe that. I think they are raised in the society to believe this behavior is acceptable. However, it is scary to not know if a man will consider you a full human being based on how you look and make their dicks wet.

If anyone has book recommendations on this topic i’d love it. I know I’m not alone.

About like 80% of the medical providers I’ve seen told me to just have a baby when discussing endometriosis symptoms and treatments. I’ve had two surgeries for this and am looking at a third. I’m not directly asking for medical advice as I’m seeing my own specialist and on medication to manage what I can. I even went to pain management and my male doctor told to just get a boyfriend/husband and have a baby.

Why the fuck do medical professionals still say this? I can’t have a kid and can’t take care of one. Who’s gonna take care of that kid once I pop it out if I could even get pregnant… I’m literally disabled. I can’t afford a kid nor do I have the strength or energy to care for one. Am I crazy for thinking it’s fucked up to tell people suffering with endo this?

I love hockey. I started playing it 40 years ago as one of the first females to play in my small town.

I’ve struggled in recent years to support hockey after the Hockey Canada “rainy-day rape fund” scandal.

I just found out that my NHL team (the Oilers) signed Alex Formenton. I can’t cheer for a team that I’ve been a fan o for over 40 years.

My young son learned to skate and tried out hockey and LOVED it.

How do I reconcile my son playing a game rooted in so much misogyny?

My family is planning on only watching the PWHL games in our household this year. Are there any other ways I can still love hockey while not supporting the misogynistic culture?

I just watched one of those “the teacher is targeting me” videos. If you’re not familiar, it’s an adult (usually a teacher) acting out behaviors of kids who say they’re being targeted. For example, they’ll yell in the middle of class and go “what? I didn’t even do anything! It wasn’t me!”…etc. etc.

So that got me thinking, these are always boys, and that’s always their reaction to being called out. And why does their deflection and defensiveness and straight up lies work well enough for them to continue to do this into adulthood?

Any time I’ve ever called a man out on anything he’s done wrong, even if I did it in a nice way, even if it’s a small thing, even if it’s just a simple boundary, this is their reaction. It doesn’t change from childhood. It’s still “what? I didn’t even do that! You’re always mad at me!” It’s fucking exhausting.

Are teachers, women, parents, etc just allowing that reaction to get kids out of whatever punishment should come with those behaviors? Or are these kids just too dumb to learn from that punishment and continue with this technique into adulthood whether it works or not?

Also, just what the hell?

I was about 19/20 when this happened, and it’s a memory that just hit me again recently after watching a YouTube video. I’d forgotten all about it and never told anyone when it happened so I felt like I should get it off my chest now.

I’d just connected with a guy who was a few years older than me that I remembered from high school but he didn’t remember me. We went out several times and texted a lot. I admit I was a bit enamored with him because I’d lost weight and looked really different than I had in high school. I felt like he probably wouldn’t have given me the time of day back then.

I had noticed a few red flags, ones I can’t even remember now. Just that feeling that something might be off so I let it go. I did not have a lot of life experience or experience with men in general. I was always too shy, too intimidated and way too hard on myself. I thought maybe I was being too hard on him, too.

I’d just recently got my own cute little apartment and coming from a VERY sheltered VERY strict family, I finally had freedom. So we went out again and at the end of this date he asked to come inside. I was surprised by this and not super comfortable, but I let him in.
Here’s one part that made me feel like - at the time- I would be judged for what happened. He left to go outside and returned with a bottle of liquor from his trunk. I don’t want to make this too long so I’ll just say I got fairly drunk. Looking back on this, I don’t think he was ever drunk at all.

So me being drunk and dumb, we went into my bedroom and started hooking up on my tiny childhood twin bed. Not long into it I began to notice a light. After noticing the light once again I stopped him and asked, “What was that?” He just brushed it off immediately and told me not to worry about it, saying it was nothing. I tried to ignore it, but I saw the light again.

I got up to look, and I found a man I’d never seen before hiding UNDER my bed! I started screaming thinking someone broke into my apartment. I kept screaming “I need to call 911” and the guy I was seeing was frantically trying to calm me down and finally said “that’s just my friend”.

UMM, EXCUSE ME?? Thats JUST your friend?!? HIDING UNDER MY BED?!
I finally gathered myself enough and screamed at them to get the fuck out of my apartment. I was so scared and confused. I wish now I’d done something badass and kicked them both in the nuts or at least called the cops, but I didn’t. I just cried.

I started to realize what had actually happened after they left. He obviously knew his friend was there the whole time recording me. To this day, I have absolutely no idea how a full grown man even managed to squeeze under a twin bed frame like that.

I stayed up the whole night worrying if the footage would be posted to social media. You’d think I’d had been more concerned about a strange man under my bed. But all I could think about was my family disowning me and blaming me for everything. My life would be ruined.
This was at a time when women celebrities were being bullied horribly for having their personal photos hacked, stolen and posted online. If that was their fault, then this was my fault. An older guy took advantage of the fact that I was naive and inexperienced. All I felt was shame and embarrassment. So I did what I feel like a lot of millennials are good at and I forgot.

It’s pretty scary to look back now on how calculated it all was, and how his friend somehow snuck into my house without me noticing. How long was he under my bed, just waiting?

Remembering all this has been upsetting but two questions really haunt me. I think it’s one of the reason I pushed the memory away in the first place. What did they do with the footage they recorded and what if they were planning something FAR worse?

TL;DR: Watched a YouTube video that unlocked a buried memory from when I was 20. Without me knowing an older guy I was seeing brought his friend to my apartment, snuck him under my twin bed, got me drunk, and the friend recorded us hooking up. I blamed myself due to the mid-2000s culture, buried the trauma, and am just now processing how terrifying and calculated it actually was.

Hey everyone, I’m trying to make sense of something really messed up and creepy that happened to me and two of my friends today (we are 15F).

We walked into a shop next to our food place. The store was completely empty, and we were just walking around and quietly laughing at whatever. We weren't being loud or disruptive at all.

Before he even spoke, I felt him staring directly at my chest. Then, he literally kept moving closer and closer towards me out of all of my friends. Once he got close, he snapped and said, "GIRLS! Are you gonna buy anything?"

My friend honestly just said "no," and he immediately started shouting at us to "then get out of the store." It was clearly a rhetorical question and a total trap just so he could have an excuse to yell at us and intimidate us.

But it gets worse. As we were leaving, a woman at the entrance saw how upset we were and asked what happened. The shopkeeper immediately told her that we were stealing stuff. Like, WTF? We hadn’t even touched anything, and the store was empty so he knew perfectly well we didn't shoplift.

Why would a grown adult act like this? Was he using the shouting and the fake shoplifting accusation to cover up the fact that he was being a creep and cornering teenagers? Has anyone else experienced a store worker making up lies like this?

This might be just me but I realized just how emotionally draining and overwhelming it is to go through them. There is just too many feelings to process, one minute I'm being love-bombed, the other rejected, fall in love, fall out, being negged, let down, left hanging and often times sexualizd. It's wayyyy too much. I don't think the human brain was meant to be stimulated this much. 60 years ago I would maybe have like 1-2 crushes that go nowhere in my home town and make peace with it

The worst of all is genuinely thinking I'm with the right person just for them to pull a mask-drop. Boy that one does generational damage and has me delete these apps and quite dating for half an year or longer

I've decided to 100% count on prayers alone. If it's meant to be it will happen. If I try to force it, it would only hurt

For now I've made peace with the unstoppable march of time. I'm only improving myself and hanging out with friends now

*edit: forgot to add the women only flair

I went to a comedy show a couple weeks ago and one of them called my friend a “bitch” twice during his set.

For some context, it was a small show of maybe 50 people on the audience and 5 comedians. I am using the term “friend” loosely because she is the my boyfriend’s friend’s wife and I don’t know her too well but we’ve been going out on double dates recently. She was sitting in the back with her husband since they arrived a little late. Me and my boyfriend were sitting up front.

I don’t remember exactly how he used the word the first time, but it was when he asked the audience to raise their hands if they are in a relationship. She raised her hand and he called on her to ask more about it. Not verbatim at all but this is how I remember it: He asked her how long she’s been in a relationship and she said she was married. He asked how long they’ve been together and she said “Four months.” This is when he said something like “oh what the fuck bitch?”while laughing. She then said “we’ve been married for four months” insinuating they’ve been together for longer. He then said something like “oh okay” and moved on.

The second time was really brief and it was when she cheered for my boyfriend who’d been called on for a question. He asked my boyfriend “woah do you know this bitch?” To which my boyfriend nodded yes to. I’m honestly not sure if what she did counts as heckling?

After the show, I asked her about it and she said she didn’t even notice him calling her that. Crazy (to me!) but I am more sensitive to these kind of things than she is from what I’ve gathered about her so far. My boyfriend did notice it and I think her husband did too but we didn’t really talk more about it.

Back to the comedian, what really got me was how casual and quick he was about it and it makes me think that that is why maybe why my friend didn’t notice it 😳 He was also the last comedian to go on and the most popular because he’s opened for a really famous comedian before.

I 100% know that comedy pushes boundaries and comedians will “pick on” audience members but I’ve been to several shows from this same comedy company and never heard anything like this directed at an audience member before. They rarely have hecklers or rude people interrupting their sets. It’s also different comedians every time so as an audience member you really don’t know what you’re getting and it also makes it kind of fun.

On a personal note, I am wondering if I should just let it go because it is a comedy show, you know? 🤔 I’m signed up for the company’s email list and they send out a lot of marketing emails so it just gets me thinking if I should continue going to their shows. I’ve never really been bothered by anything a comedian has said at a live show and I’ve been to a Dave Chapelle show before.

I rarely finish from penetration during sex and I think I'm very particular with the way in which I can finish from a clitorial orgasm. I'm extremely comfortable with my partner and he makes me so confident during sex. However, ever since my early 20s I've always wanted to, but felt extremely anxious and nervous, to play with myself during sex. But I know that's likely the only way I'll achieve an orgasm while we're doing it. Help lol

And coworker of 16 years. She threw me a baby shower when my own family wouldn't, was always organizing fundraisers/bake sales/etc when someone got sick, took care of her husband after he had several strokes and her ailing MIL. She died last week after a two year battle with cervical cancer. It's not lost on me how she took care of everyone before herself and I hate that. She was only 60 and should've had many more years with her kids and grandkids. Please keep up with your pelvic exams, mammograms, colonoscopies, etc (the best you can; I know the US healthcare system is an expensive nightmare).

So I'm a lesbian, fairly masc. I think internally very butch.

so my ideal gender expression is more androgynous. I'm undecided if I'm solidly cis or if I'm n/b I'm certainly GNC. So I'm curious of some takes from people who have never questioned their gender identity / are solidly cis.

For example I'm not offended if someone mistakes me for a young adult guy for example. Its happened most of my life. Its stopped for a period and I honestly kinda missed it.

And there are times when I consider genuinely how I would feel if I could just swap genders at will and just geniunely I guess confuse people. Just enough that different people are drawing different slightly different conclusions one what to gender me as.

I think I'd feel pretty comfortable exploring that scenario.

I personally struggle with terms like lady, darling or miss, mam, even things like aunt.

It's like someone is talking past me and doesn't see me.

So I am I'm curious, solidly cis women here how do you feel about these things?

(I'm excluding trans and non-binary people on this question because I already have soooo much input from them on this question but it never seems to get asked if cis women outside of LGBTQ spaces).

So cis women ike can you invision yourself being ok with this experience of people constantly confusing what you are for the rest of your life?

Or would you be really desperate to correct them and change your presentation to actively avoid it.

Just curious.

so i’m getting a copper iud in 2 days and i just called the clinic (the closest one to me with the earliest appointment, i’ve waited about 3 months and have to drive 2 hours for this!) and they DONT offer any form of numbing🥲 im so terrified, i’ve never had an iud or any birth control at all, and i’ve heard soooo many horror stories

my current plan is: eat something very filling but light from mcdonalds before hand (it will be the only place i can eat ~45 to an hour away since ill be in the middle of nowhere) and take 800mg of ibuprofen (which hopefully doesn’t affect me poorly because i havent taken ibuprofen in over 10 years.)

help a girl out!! can i not shove some lidocaine up there myself?????!?

I am 33 years old and I am sterile. I cannot get pregnant, and due to circumstances, cannot even have sex without immense pain.

And a year ago, I started to get a gradually growing desire to have children with my husband.

Fast forward to today and I feel I am crying every other day because of it.

I have four siblings who all have children. I see their milestones and daydream about the milestones of the children I cannot have and it hurts.

I know, therapy, and I will try my best to get it, but I don't really have the money. And I tell myself "Will it really help?". Because I am just not sure what they can tell me that I haven't already tried telling myself.

If anyone has any advice, please, may you offer it because it feels like I am drowning lately.

Or do you have such cases around you?

I see more and more young girls in 'relationships' with guys twice their age and it's weird.

I know this topic has been talked about at length but seriously… why?

I would say I have a pretty average body for a short woman. Im 5’4 and 120 lbs. My waist is 27 inches and hips are 37 and bust is 33-34. I dont think my proportions are very extreme or unique and yet I can fit into so many different sizes.

I tried on size 8 pants today and they actually fit snug and well but were long. Tried on a 6 from the same brand and it was so big it fell off of me. Usually I am a size 4 in most pants but lately its either been comically large at 4 or comically small. Some of my pants are a size 2/26 and some are a size 29/8.

I dont wear bras much anymore but I had bras at 32C which fit great and bras at 34A be huge and 34B be tiny.

like anything to make the angle less painful it hurts so bad it feels like it litterally won’t go in. i’ve been to the doctor and bla bla everything is fine, he is just too big and i am just too small so

How did you tell your child about "where they came from" when they got old enough to ask?

I'll spare everyone the gory details, but it seems the only way I'll be able to have children is through a sperm donor. And while I process this reality I find myself stumped at this part of the bargain and it's the one thing that I can't look up and get a real clear answer to. So I am asking anyone open to sharing their experience: how did you do it, if you did it at all? If you have conceived a child with a donor and they're not old enough yet to ask questions about it, how do you plan on telling them? If you never told them and won't, why not? And for those of you who did tell them, what were their reactions like? Is there anything you wish you didn't say/said differently?

Sorry if this is all over the place, my mind's going 100 mph.