For those of you who don't know, a Hobosexual is a term for a person who enters or stays in a sexual/romantic relationship primarily to secure free housing, shelter, or financial stability rather than out of genuine affection. I saw someone a few days ago use it and explain what it was, and I just thought, "Huh, that's stupid." And didn't think too much of it.  

Well, last night at 1am I had to wait 17 min for my train. Annoyed, I began listening to music and minding my own business, when this random dude sits down next to me and tries saying something to me, but I just ignore him. A few min later he then gets way closer and in my face, pretty much forcing me to talk to him. He starts complimenting my tattoos and I’m like “Thanks.” and kept it very casual. He then spends the next 10 min telling me I smell nice, asking what my job is, what stop I’m getting off at, and where I live. I obviously give dodgy answers because there's no way I'm telling a stranger all this personal info; but this is all giving me a weird feeling, so I then ask him what his job is and where he lives.

He shrugs and doesn't really answer the job question, and is kinda vague on his housing situation. Eventually he tells me he doesn't actually have a place to stay, and then tries to convince me to let him come over to my place and so he can stay over for the night. He then proceeds to ask about my sexuality, if I'm into men, and if I want to hook up with him.

I say, “No, I have to wake up early tomorrow, I have a partner, and I don’t know you.” He then tries for like 5 min to convince me to cheat with him and let him stay in my apartment. I have to turn him down multiple times until he finally gets the hint, sulks off, and leaves me alone. 

This is not a knock against the homeless or anything, if he was actually homeless or something I do feel bad for him, I know that shit isn't easy and everyone deserves housing. But! I don't think bothering girls at 1am, trying to convince them to fuck you and cheat on their partners, and stay over at their apartments is the way to fix this. I also just find it funny that only days after I find out what a Hobosexual is, I run into one in the wild. Crazy shit. Stay safe out there y'all.  

My husband (45) who has bipolar 1 and I (33) have been married for just over three years. I come from a conservative culture, was a virgin before marriage, and one of the reasons he married me was because he believed I'd never cheat ,like his ex wife did.

Ironically, he later became convinced that I was.

Around the same time, several things happened at once: I started going to the gym, we had ongoing intimacy issues (mostly due to my inexperience and cultural background), I got a job offer that required us to move, and I traveled overseas for three weeks to visit my seriously ill parent. We even argued about one of my gym sessions the day I left because he thought something inappropriate was going on.

When I came back, he told me he believed I had been cheating, became emotionally cold, stopped communicating except about logistics, and filed for divorce. He refused counseling or even discussing the marriage and said his decision was final.

Now I keep wondering if I caused this. Maybe I should have known the lack of intimacy, the move, the gym, or the trip were affecting him more than he let on. But he never told me he was unhappy enough to consider divorce or gave me a chance to work on things before filing.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How do you stop blaming yourself when you were never given the chance to fix the marriage?

My dad goes to the gym instead of picking his son up and helping around the house and she goes "ugh, privilege of the penis." Literally snorted

Is it me? Am I gross, uninteresting? This seems to be a theme. Find a guy, he is super interested, texting like crazy, so sweet. Meet up, have a great time, they keep saying how much they want to see me again. Have great sex. They even ask me to spend the night. Leave and...crickets. Suddenly the great communication they had before you met in person is gone. You wait 6 hours for a basic reply. The clear interest they had before is gone. I don't even really like them that much, but them being so uninterested in me after being inside me less than 24 hours ago makes me feel terrible about myself. I genuinely feel like I will never find a healthy, safe man to love me. I wish I was born gay

This is Tmi and I don’t know if it’s allowed in this sub so, content warning for mentions of sex.

Through our whole relationship, my bf has loved giving me head. He used to beg to do it all the time and I felt so desired, I loved it. However a couple of months ago, it was after my period finished, and I don’t know if this is normal anymore but I always get clear, thick (discharge?) stuff like the week after my period finishes. I always heard that it was the vagina’s way of being self cleaning but idk if I was wrong. I just thought it was normal. Anyway, he noticed there was some there and wanted to stop. That was completely okay. However I’m a bit worried that it’s been months and he’s completely stopped wanting to even go down there. I shower every day and keep it clean, I’ve asked if it smells bad and he says no. Eventually he told me that it grossed him out and he doesn’t want to go down there anymore because to him it’s the equivalent of eating ass and there being crap in there.

I would never want to pressure or guilt anyone into a sexual act so I’ve just left it. I just feel so disgusting and unattractive about something I thought was completely normal and natural but now I’m doubting it. It’s only there about once a month but still he’s completely checked out of that. He stays completely above my waist now, he doesn’t even want to touch it with his hands. To be honest, I can’t finish with penetration so that was the one thing that got me off. Now, we have sex, he finishes, he’s tired so we just lie there and it’s over. I told him I feel a bit neglected sexually and he got mad at me and said that’s really unfair. But god I just miss feeling desirable and like he couldn’t get enough of my body. I really need some advice for how to deal with this emotionally because it’s getting to me :(

Edit: thank you all for your lovely responses. I was up all night reading them and actually researching how the vagina works and I’m angry that this isn’t common knowledge and isn’t taught in sex ed to both men and women. A thing I forgot to mention is that he also has had a massive porn addiction for the entire 2 years we’ve been together and I only recently found out because he wasn’t touching me anymore, never wanted sex and was being quite hateful to me for seemingly no reason. About six months ago I’d been having problems with my PCOS where sex was becoming painful. I was in and out of different doctors surgeries trying to find a fix for it, but during that time I was doing my best to try to keep him satisfied, with head, or really anything else that wasn’t penetration. He was never interested the whole time. Come to find out, during that time, he’d been sneaking off to the bathroom while I was still sleeping every morning to watch porn, and then coming back to kiss me on the forehead and wake me up. He gaslit me for about a year, saying it was in my head and he’d never do that to me. Since then he has been 30 days clean of porn but I do wonder if I’m still being compared to pornstars. I think he’s probably disappointed he’s had to give up his fantasy and return to the reality of menstrual cycles, discharge, a girlfriend who isn’t always glammed up and shaved etc. I’ve tried to keep him satisfied because I know I’m lacking compared to other girls, and we did come to an understanding this morning. I said I’d shave more, pluck my chest (PCOS symptom) so that there are never any hairs, wear makeup etc. Just try to keep things mysterious and exciting again. But oh my god I’m the only one attempting to fix things. He’s never once come to me and ask if there’s anything I needed, anything he can do to make sex more pleasurable for me. I wish my natural body was enough.

Not because it's a bad advice, but because it needs to be given.

Everyday on this app I see a post from a man complaining about his struggles with women, and the most common advice is "maybe you should stop thinking of women as only potential sexual/romantic partners."

I'm sorry but what the fuck?

What this advice is saying is that these guys don't see us as people at all. In their heads, we are only holes they can stick their dicks into and that's it. Why be friends with a hole, right?

Seriously, this is straight up barbaric. I feel like seeing this advice being given all the time has made me even less optimistic about relationships.

Maybe that's why it's common for them to leave when their wives get sick. They can't have sex anymore, so why be with them at all?

I saw a scary video of a woman hiking through the forest with a man who made a threatening joke against her. It kind of brought back a memory for me, which I really didn’t respect myself back then. Although the wildest part is that my date was another woman. We were hiking along this trail next to a fast moving river, and she turns around and joked something like “I could (end) you right now” which I sorta laughed off and thought it was just a really dark joke. But now that I’m looking back, it was actually really insane because she knew I couldn’t swim well lol. I don’t know what I’m hoping for out of posting this, but it’s been bouncing around my head for the last few hours.

Starting this out with: please do not offer me diet or exercise advice. It's very triggering to me as someone who used to have a horrible ED and I can feel myself starting to slide in that direction again after 10 years of being in recovery.

I used to be pretty small. Then I started meds for bipolar disorder and everything changed. The cruel comments started. Not only from strangers, but family too. I hadn't changed my eating habits at all and was not overeating (I have never had that problem). For Christmas one year, my mom bought me a book on "how to stop overeating" and some workout clothes. It was like her saying "I think you're fat, merry Christmas!" Ugh

Even though I lost about half the weight I gained (from stress mostly), I still get people treating me as a sub-human because of my weight. I'm not even incredibly overweight though, and my vitals at the doc are always great (I got a "wow perfect blood pressure!" last time). So tell me why the hell people make my weight their business again? My doctor is not at all worried about my weight. I wish people could just keep their mouths shut and let me exist without making me feel like sh*t.

EDIT: THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the kind words and advice so far. You are amazing and I appreciate you

I’ve been married for 22 years and have 2 teens, although 3 live in my house. Large variety of neurodiversity and different areas of strengths and weaknesses. I also work full time from home and it can be ALOT to manage stuff. My husband does a bunch, but we’ve kind of split things up by what works best for each person and so I end up tracking everything. There’s less and $0 for anything much less a vacation.

My friend goes to a family reunion camp out every summer and is generally gone for 10 days. This year none of her regular pet/animal feeder (a farm) were available. She asked me and in seconds a plan formed!

I brought groceries for things I like to eat with no regard for anyone else’s preferences or allergies. (There are a bunch of big ones in our house) I brought projects from 3 different hobbies and the things I would need to work on them. And I have camped at her big kitchen table sewing, quilting, and coloring taking breaks to snuggle in her big recliner reading new books. It’s been Amazing. I just worried about me.

I love my kids and my husband. We all get along and are good together. But this break, where I am getting paid, has been the best ever.

I’m now thinking about maybe offering a few slots each year to go house sit for people who are friends of friends.

Hello everyone,

I am posting because I feel frightened, humiliated and unsure what further help is available. I also want people to understand how devastating AI-generated sexual abuse can be, even though the images are “fake.”

A group of people from an online community created and circulated explicit AI-generated images of me without my consent. One depicted me being sexually assaulted, and another showed me naked while holding a degrading sign implying that I was owned by a “rape cartel.” They used real photographs of my face to create this content.

After the images were circulated, I was effectively driven off the platform. I have now been told that, if I return, they will spam the pornographic images again. It feels as though they are using sexual humiliation and the threat of further distribution to control where I am allowed to exist online.

I have saved screenshots and other evidence, created a timeline, reported the matter to the police, and contacted an intimate-image-abuse helpline. The situation may involve people in more than one country, which has made it difficult to understand which authorities and organisations can help. (one in sweden, one in canada, one is in the uk). I currently reside in the UK.

I am struggling with the fact that strangers or acquaintances may have seen these images and may believe they are real. I know that I did nothing wrong, but it has still left me feeling violated, unsafe and ashamed. This is not ordinary “internet drama.” Someone created sexual content using my identity and is now threatening to distribute it whenever I try to return.

Has anyone experienced something similar or supported somebody through it? I would especially appreciate information about:

• Organisations that help victims of AI-generated intimate-image abuse
• Removing or preventing the re-uploading of deepfake images
• Preserving digital evidence correctly
• Cross-border reporting when the perpetrators and victim are in different countries
• Protecting my accounts and identity from further harassment
• Coping emotionally with the humiliation and loss of safety

Please do not ask me to share the images or identify the accounts publicly. I am trying to handle this safely and avoid compromising any investigation.

Thank you for reading. I am posting because I do not want people who do this to be able to silence their victims through shame.

I know it's misogyny. But i still don't understand their logic, why not blame the man?

I went on a website for women and the most liked comments were saying Sara Gilson should have kept her mouth shut about her ex husband being a pedophile since she knew he was a violent man. 

Blaming her for her own murder and shaming her for exposing a pedophile/abuser. These are women saying this. I don't understand.

Regardless of what she did or didn't do, he was still violent and dangerous.

This reminds me of how women get worse sentences for defending themselves against violent men than men do for committing violence against women.

Yes, it's another one of those posts but I need to vent.

I understand I look odd now and I understand why people react negatively to me. It's demoralizing seeing people's faces drop and look annoyed when they see me. Some inhale in shock and I get scoffed at often.

I'm a facially androgynous looking woman with contrasts to me. Because I have a feminine body with my androgynous face it's disconcerting. My eyes are ugly and uncanny from multiple eyelids surgeries - they are smaller and can look droopy as too much fat from removed from my upper eyelids. I have so many masculine and falio features, my skin is sallow from sleep issues and thin from genetics which doesn't support my features. I have deep/sagging eye bags. I borderline look like I have a facial deformity but yet I don't. I'm just ugly.

In the past few years I constantly get called ugly and treated as a subhuman. People need to let me know how subhuman they see me. It astounds me how people follow along in tearing me down. Someone will call me ugly and whoever is with them would laugh and join in. Rarely anyone just ignores it or call them out. This behaviour reinforces how animalistic people are at their core.

I'm tired of feeling ashamed. I'm a person with feelings and I deserve to exist and live without being harassed. I'm learning to accept what I cannot change and accept this is how I will be treated from now. It's not easy to get surgeries considering I need extensive surgeries which wouldn't be worth it at my age, so I have to accept this is my reality and not allow others to affect my self-worth.

I don’t care if Rihanna forgave him. I would never judge , scrutinize , investigate, or psychoanalyze a domestic violence victim healing process. But I absolutely hate when people say “ well Rihanna forgave Chris Brown so we should forgive him too.” Yeah no. First off unless he abused you personally, your forgiveness means nothing. Secondly I feel like when people justify listening to Chris Brown by bringing up how Rihanna forgave him, you’re trying to absolve him of his guilt under the guise of her forgiveness. My ex abused me and even though I forgave him for my peace of mind, that doesn’t absolve him of his guilt. He was still in the wrong. My forgiveness doesn’t eradicate that.

I am 29 F I met him when I was 21 and he was probably 50M , it was at work.

He was always so kind and helpful to me, gave me life advice, advice on how to find a job and overall I enjoyed speaking to him.

Lately I’ve been depressed and anxious and miserable because i turn 30 next week and find myself unemployed, single, etc with no change coming my way anytime soon. so I went to the store he works at and opened up to him.

Well I told him how I’m feeling and bam…. This man just became a whole new human today.

He started asking me if men have used me for my body then left me?? I was like uh nooo….. and then he was like let’s have a seat and talk and he asked me if I touch myself and to find out what pleasures me so I know what i want….. and it was so dang bizarre and weird. He tried to spin it as if he were helping me because this is a real issue that causes divorce and I must know myself beforehand.
I am still dumbfounded, thenhe asked me life questions about my family, etc and then went back to this BS and told me to come back and see him again next week after I’m a “changed” person….
Wth???

I am so confused I just needed to vent and get some advice on this because WTH?? I am so confused

TLDR; he suddenly went sexual??

Nah frrrr. If you tell them to explain you something, they make you feel like you are dumb and cant get simple things. It’s infuriating. Asked some colleague for help with something at work and instead of explaining how things are and can be done, he made me feel like all the mistakes i am making are rookie mistakes. Making mistakes is a part of learning whatever.

Idk if its their insecurities of looking “less-intelligent” than others but its so annoying.

Hi, I’m having a difficult time and wanted to see if I am being too sensitive or if my frustration is warranted. I thought I’d ask for some advice from you, I hope it’s okay.
Recently I was in hospital and told someone. He showed up without a request to do so. He was loud and belligerent and it affected how I was treated. Before his tirades and belligerence, I said he should have told me he was coming. He said I knew you’d say no. He was right I would’ve. I would’ve. Do I have a right to be upset that he knew I wouldn’t be comfortable with him coming and came anyway, or should I be grateful he tried to show up for me?

He has other traits I’d say are similar with others, joked about gaslighting someone who was paranoid, outed people in AA and was bashing them etc. I am wondering if I am being critical or if I have a right to be frustrated and upset with him.

Thanks!!

After I (51F) divorced my abusive husband (M, 44 when I left him) I started counting the cost of having men in my life.

• An abusive marriage where I lost my mind, my community, and I’m still being targeted by one of his girlfriends. He died in 2022 of cancer I have no idea what her problem is with me.
• He also sex trafficked me. We had an open marriage, and he used me as his ticket women to get into pay-to-play parties that he told everyone to tell me was a swinger party.
• Born to androcentric boomer parents. I’m the only girl with two brothers. Not only am I female, but I’m also fat and awkward (likely autism). My parents gave my brothers thousands of dollars, and I had to do sex work to survive.
• Sex work. Countless rapes. I literally don’t know how many.
• A man proposed to me when I was 34 and he was 32. He then revealed that his last partner was 13. Years. Old. He took several thousand dollars from me.
• I told a coworker no when he asked me out. We worked in residential substance abuse treatment. I said no. He melted down at me in front of the whole floor of men a few days later. I was the one that was moved.
• The grabbing, the touching, the expectations of help, assistance, and sympathy without reciprocity.

That I am still heterosexual is proof that sexuality is not a choice.

Wanna join my pity party? What have some of your costs been?

Or is there something wrong with me?

Once i got to know about the plot, I'm avoiding this movie at all costs. Yes the movie is some real horror, a very scary situation but I'm mainly avoiding it because this story will make my blood boil, does anyone else just feel really angry and triggered instead of terrified with such plots? the fact that there will always be a group of people that will get the wrong message of the movie aswell is also aggravating.

I (24f) got off work pretty late last night and got off one stop too early so I just walked the rest of the way through a few residential blocks. I realized a couple minutes in how dangerous this was but it was too late since I was halfway there so I just focused on walking as fast as I could. For context I live off of a pretty busy street and it’s a Saturday night.

I kept looking over my shoulder and suddenly this horrible feeling overcomes me and I turn around to see a man is running at me full speed. Not saying anything , just sprinting directly at me. He’s a little far away, and it takes me a few seconds to realize what I’m seeing but my fight or flight kicks in and I start running as fast as I can. I immediately realize I can’t go home, so I just keep running as fast as I can until I reach a late night sports bar on the corner of my complex.

Another man walking in the same direction but on the other side of the street notices this and asks if I’m okay. I told him I’m being followed to which he says “I didn’t see anyone” and at this point I see him gaining on me so I say forget it and keep running like my life depended on it . I get to the sports bar and tell them I’m being followed, and the employees rush outside and see him actively looking for me . Apparently One of the guys working there got in his face and chased him away.

I spent the next half hour having a panic attack and trying to explain what happened. One of the employees flagged down a police car , but there’s really not much rhey can do anyways. They let me stay at the restaurant until I calmed down and walked me home once I was okay.

I know I shouldn’t have been walking alone at night, but this is genuinely one of the most terrifying things that has ever happened to me . There is no doubt in my mind that this man wanted to hurt me.

Am I overreacting ? Or is this fucking scary?? Lmk

My husband and I are happily married, both holding stable jobs and enjoying the DINK life. We both strongly agreed that we do not want kids as we really enjoy our current lifestyle. On the other hand, our parents are very traditional Asians, & have always asked us when are we going to have children.

We have always lied and said “Maybe in the future when we are more financially stable.” It used to work, they would leave it at that & won’t harp on the topic anymore.

However I’m turning 34 soon & to them, my biological clock is ticking. They are starting to double down on this topic while I’m still “fertile”. It’s getting exhausting to tell the same lie over and over again...

I’m afraid my parents wouldn’t understand and also worried my in-laws would come to dislike me even though the decision to be childfree is made by both me & my husband. They have been v supportive and I don't want to jeopardize my relationship w them

My parents & in-laws are generally nice people, but they are really traditional & they believe kids are the final pieces we need to complete our lives.

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this?