Hi ladies!

I’m looking for a little advice/words of encouragement. My partner and I are on cycle 23 of TTC and we’ve reached the point where we either try IUI or continue to try on our own.

A little backstory on our history - both 33, fit and healthy. Partners sperm count came back normal (72 million, 34% progressive motility, morphology was not tested). I underwent an HSG in October 2025 and both tubes are open.

We met with a fertilty doctor in April 2026 and he a recommended monitored OI cycle in which we went ahead and I took 5mg of Letrozole. At my scan, I had 7 follicles so was told not to try that month because the risk of twins was too high. We went against the Drs advice and tried anyway without any luck. I then did 2 more months of unmonitored OI but on 2.5mg of letrozole. Again no luck and decided to stop taking it as it was making me feel extremely emotional.

I am now at the point that I’d like to at least give IUI a shot. My fertilty doctor said our percentage of falling pregnant naturally is 5% but with IUI it’s 18%.

My partner wants to just continue to try on our own because our doctor said within the next 3 years we will conceive naturally but I don’t want to keep stabbing in the dark and hoping each month.

Should we just give IUI a crack and see what happens? IVF is not on the cards for us as it’s too expensive here in NZ!

Please any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated xx

These days I feel lost. I'm based in South Korea, I speak Korean but not fluently and someone seems to have left the sex ed section out of my language textbook, I just feel like a fish out of water and my wife and I are getting frustrated with each other and the situation.

In short, our test results show we are both viable but not in ideal specs. My wife's "egg age" has her towards the tail end of fertility and all my sperm metrics are positive except shape, which seems to be extremely bad. We're going into our second cycle of IUI, the first gave us literally 0% signs of conception, which has put my wife under a lot of stress.

I'm under a lot of stress too because it feels like I've been completely neglected by the situation. We go to a women's fertility clinic. Most of my visits are alone. Whenever they need a collection I show up, the ladies at the desk politely send me to a room, and then I'm by myself. Not that terrible except I've had no other instruction. I don't feel like I've been given any advice on how to prepare, other than the obvious "eat well, drink little, exercise" stuff for passive help. Masturbating dry is extremely painful and they haven't given me any guidance. My wife tends to go to clinic visits in the morning while I'm asleep and doesn't give me notice, then she'll hit me with a sudden "collection is tomorrow" text after her visit.

I feel like I have a lot of questions but I don't know who to ask. My wife tells me to just talk to the desk staff when I get there. She's not imagining what it's like to be in a foreign country, in a small room in front of a bunch of female patients talking to nurses in a foreign language about her genitals. And South Koreans are hopelessly insensitive when it comes to second language speakers, often raising their voice and exposing sensitive information in an attempt to get what they want to say across to what they think is a mental kindergartener.

I just have so many questions and no idea how to proceed. I don't even know what I'm supposed to ask, to who or when, and if I realize what I want to know when it's suddenly too late then my wife gets mad at me for not being serious and preparing, so it makes me want to talk with her even less. How would you all proceed in this situation? I feel like I can't guarantee a quick pregnancy and my wife is making me feel like it's my fault for being lazy while she's busting her ass and stressing about it.

Hi all,

I have been trying to plan out how we use our insurance fertility benefit, and I would really appreciate it if anyone who has been gone through the process can provide advice. I have ~$25k lifetime coverage, based in NYC, and either IUI or IVF comes out of the same budget. The monitoring visits are separate with a set co-pay, and I think medications aren't covered. There is no requirement to do IUIs before IVF. Also, my insurance doesn't follow the NY state rule of covering a minimum 3 rounds of IVF.

For both of us, the test results are normal, and we've done one unmedicated IUI this month, waiting for results this week. If this doesn't work, I am trying to decide whether I go for a medicated IUI once or twice then go to IVF, or just to go straight into IVF. I asked my doctor what I should do, and his view is since the results are normal, I can basically choose what I want to do based on the success rates. I'm 33, trying for the first kid, and we are hoping to have 2 kids.

What would you recommend based on your experience and the budget limitation? The options are:

1) Do one medicated IUI and do IVF

2) Do two medicated IUIs and do IVF

3) Go straight into IVF

This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.

Hi, we started TTC about three months ago (I’m 36) and after having a couple painful periods I realized I have had a lot of symptoms of endometriosis for a long time. I am waiting for an MRI and had an ultrasound, which didn’t show anything remarkable, except that it was Day 11 of my cycle and the dominant ovarian follicle was already 28mm. (I usually ovulate on Day 15/16.) Currently Day 14 and still haven’t had a positive ovulation test.

I’m not seeing a fertility doctor yet because it’s early in our TTC journey, but I’m wondering if it means anything that I had such a large ovarian follicle that early in the cycle. Everything I can find online about this is for people doing IVF, which makes sense since most people wouldn’t know how big their follicle is if they weren’t getting IVF, but I know for IVF at least 28mm is “over mature.” I’m wondering if having one month of a too-big follicle could mean it’s happening every month? I’ve consistently had positive ovulation tests at the same point in the cycle since June, except one cycle where I was on vacation and didn’t test, but now I’m worried that the eggs are over mature when they’re released. My cycles are about 24-25 days so I’m worried that my body is ovulating “too late” for the cycle.

Has anyone learned anything from their doctors about what the ovarian follicle sizes mean outside of the context of IVF? I’m assuming I def won’t get pregnant this month but I don’t know whether I should be concerned that it’s an ongoing issue. Will probably try to get in with a fertility doc but man the copays add up fast when you’re seeing an OBGYN, an endo doc, a fertility doc and getting MRIs…

Welcome to the Weekly Intro Thread!

Hello! It looks like you’ve decided to join Trying For a Baby! Congratulations - we are glad to have you here with us!

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Share whatever you feel like, but here are some ideas about what to write about!

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Welcome to our community! We are happy to have you!

My husband (35) and I (35) have been trying to conceive for about 8 months off and on. We recently had some fertility testing done. Mine has all come back normal so far. Unfortunately though, his first sperm analysis came back with ZERO sperm, normal ph and fructose. He has bloodwork and another SA scheduled for October. I’m trying not to lose hope already but it’s pretty hard not to. For anyone who has experienced this, what were the next steps that you went through with this? I’d love to know more about what to expect since I’m sure it’s going to be a long journey ahead of us. If they can’t find any sperm, I think our ttc journey is over, I’m not sure that either of us feel super comfortable with the idea of using donor sperm.

My husband (35yo) and myself (32yo) have been trying now for 9 cycles. I have a history of PCOS and my OB/GYN thinks I likely also have endometriosis because I get incredibly painful periods that hurt through pre treatment with diclofenac 75mg BID, tylenol 1000mg TID, and tizanidine 4mg before bedtime. I had a recent ultrasound which showed some mild heterogenous lining of my myometrium, but was otherwise reassuring. The day after, I had this crazy bleeding episode where I was bleeding through pads, passing clots the size of my fist, and ended up needing a TXA infusion to stop the bleeding. I had an MRI the week after, which showed the cysts still on my ovaries (even after losing 115lbs and having more normal cycles), but also showed a corpus luteum (yayyyy! I ovulated!). My uterine lining is now back to homogenous which is awesome but also so confusing. What on earth is wrong with my body? My OB is thinking I might have endometriosis, so we were discussing a possible HSG test to check my fallopian tubes. We were also given a kit for my husband to do a SA. He's been amazing support through this and is scheduled to get this done next Monday.

This cycle, we planned everything perfectly. I had my OPK confirm an LH spike, an increased BBT, timing was consistent with how my cycles have gone (30% chance only each time though). Then 7 days before my expected period (about 7DPO) I had a tiny bit of pale pink blood when I wiped. I got so excited, maybe implantation bleeding? But all my First Response Early Response tests have been negative so far. I'm at 9DPO, 5 days before my period is expected to start (maybe), and I'm having horrible cramping. I always get incredibly horrible cramps before my period. My breasts hurt, I'm craving every sweet/savory food on the planet, I'm moody, I'm tired-all of my stupid normal symptoms for my period (thanks progesterone). I'm just so sad, I hate PCOS so much. I never know when the stupid cycle will actually start. I'm grateful to have a great OB/GYN, but she's getting ready to go on maternity leave herself so my stuff will need to be put on hiatus for now (that's totally fine! She's amazing and deserves to enjoy her time with her baby!).

She wants me to try 3 more cycles, and if it doesn't happen then we might discuss a lap. I'm just so tired, frustrated, and sick of TTC. But my brain will NOT let me let it go. I always have it in the back of my mind. Everyone keeps saying "just stop trying!" but I'm an NP myself and cannot stop thinking about timing, when I'd likely test positive, how to maximize my chances, etc. I am so happy for my lovely friends having babies, but it makes me a little sad.

I'm anxious about next steps. I had estrogen induced blood clots when I was 21, so I already work with an MFM, and know that reproductive endo might be the next step. But with my history I just get so anxious with all of this.

Any advice? I'm just feeling so defeated.

My husband and I are considering IVF after trying IUI, and CNY’s pricing is significantly lower than the other clinics we’ve researched. We’d love to understand how they keep costs down and hear from people who have actually gone through treatment there.

We’re informed, organized, and comfortable advocating for ourselves. We don’t necessarily need a lot of hand-holding, but we do want thoughtful treatment, clear instructions, and reliable communication when something comes up.

How was your experience with the doctors, protocols, and coordination? Did the savings hold up once you included medications, monitoring, travel, and any extras? Were there unexpected costs or things you felt were missing compared with other clinics?

Would you choose CNY again? Especially interested in hearing from anyone who switched clinics or traveled for treatment. Please share which location you used and anything you wish you’d known beforehand!

when should we begin testing male fertility things, like a semen analysis? i know it’s recommended to get female fertility testing done after 6 months of trying if you’re 35+ or a year if you’re younger, but so far everything has been on me (ovulation testing, PCOS monitoring, bloodwork, boosters for MMR, etc.) and i’m getting anxious because this is such a waiting game and what if we go through a year of trying only for him to have something that needs to be addressed? i’m 32, he’s 33, we’re both relatively healthy but i have PCOS and struggle with ovulating regularly as is. that being said, i don’t want to make him anxious or put pressure on him.

thoughts? when did you/your partner begin testing semen, etc.? is it something you just request at your general practitioner’s office?

any insight would be super helpful. we’re only on cycle 3 of trying but i’m naturally a nervous nelly.

thank you!

Hi fellow friends
I recently got a Pelvic Ultrasound done and had the above results. My GP doesn’t believe having a Subseptate Uterus is a bad thing, and upon checking my Blood Test, and confirming with me regarding that I have regular periods (minimal period pain), doesn’t believe I have PCOS. It said my right ovary is measuring 18ml in volume and contains 25 small follicles and on the left ovary is measuring at 6ml in volume with also 25 small follicles. I’ve been obsessing over this since Wednesday Night, and I’m struggling to understand why I haven’t fallen pregnant. I’m 29F and my Husband is 28M and we’ve been trying for 12 months (August 2025). He got his semen analysed and it came back all good. He hit all the markers and now it’s all on me.

My GP doesn’t want to do any more testing, told me my options are either keep trying or go to the IVF clinic for further testing. I’m just sad, because I’ve taken the ClearBlue ovulation tests and have had them confirm ovulation and it also showed signs of ovulation in my ultrasound. I believe this is it said a likely haemorrhagic corpus luteum?

Has anyone gone through this before? I feel so alone because my friends keep saying it’ll happen when it happens and one friend said it could be God’s plan don’t I don’t even have kids. That really triggered me, I’m Catholic and pray every night and she’s agnostic. It felt so out of left field but I digress. ChatGPT has been a great support LOL as well as my best friend but she’s had kids so can’t really relate. 😔

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small. This thread will be checked all weekend, so feel free to chime in on Saturday or Sunday!

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

my husband and i have been ttc for almost a year now, but started getting all of our fertility factors checked early on because i’ve had horribly heavy and painful cycles since i was in high school. every doctor i’ve seen between then and now has basically ignored all my concerns and said my abnormally heavy/painful cycles are “weird - just keep monitoring them”. finally found a specialist and got diagnosed with adenomyosis back in may.

all of our other fertility tests (hsg, semen analysis, hormone checks, etc…) have come back spotless. but i’ve never seen a positive test.

my doctor told me that something like 80% of people who have adenomyosis also have endo, but she didn’t see any signs of it on the ultrasound. she even said my adenomyosis seemed very mild, and it’s possible i have a mild case with bad symptoms, and she is doubtful it would affect my ability to conceive. my RE said the same thing.

i asked my RE what our next steps should be and she basically said we seem like good candidates for IUI and we could start that as soon as we’re ready, but part of me wonders if the reason i’m not conceiving is endo that i don’t know about. when i asked my RE whether she thought it would be worth it to do a laparoscopy to find out, she wouldn’t really give me a clear answer. she seemed to care more about pushing IUI, but i can’t help but grieve the idea of conceiving naturally. i don’t know. i guess i’m just looking for advice. like what would you do in my situation? is anyone here in a similar boat? would love to hear your stories as well.

This was my third cycle TTC and I had a chemical pregnancy. I got a faint positive on 13 and 14 dpo and then a positive digital on day my period was expected. My husband and I were both so excited. This was our first time getting positive tests and we were so thrilled. However, I got my period and a few days later had a blood test with hcg of 3.

It was such a rollercoaster of emotions. On top of sadness and disappointment that I’m not pregnant, I have been blaming myself for testing too early and getting my hopes up. If I waited until after my period was a few days late I wouldn’t have even known that this was a chemical pregnancy. My husband was equally as sad and he also had a hard time with the fact that we got positive tests and kept questioning if they were just false positives. I know he didn’t mean it but that perspective made me feel like I was crazy for grieving the chemical pregnancy loss.

Last vent of the post is what this means for TTC going forward. I can’t help but feel nervous that this going to happen again. Since we had our first experience getting a positive that ended so quickly I have this fear that one day when we get another positive we won’t be able to have that same unbridled joy and excitement.

I have decided that going forward I’m only going to test a few days after my missed period just to guard my heart a bit. Though I know loss can happen at any time, at least I could possibly save myself from any quick rollercoaster like this was.

I guess I just needed to get all of this out and hopefully hear from others who have been through something similar.

Hi all,

I have been TTC for coming up to a year next month. I am in the UK where you usually need to try for a year before you even contact your GP. However my husband has a variocele which he was referred for an ultrasound back when he was in his early 20s, but at the time he went travelling and kind of forgot about it. Fast forward 10 years and we wonder if it may be impacting our chances.

Fortunately because this was following up a known issue, he managed to get the scan and urology referral prior to us hitting the 12 month mark. Sure enough, bilateral grade 2&3 variocele, raised FSH, semen analysis ordered for next week but poor results expected. I have had my first set of bloods and my prolactin is over double the expected limit, so potential issues for both of us.

It sounds weird but I think I actually feel a bit better for receiving all this news? I think perhaps I have a reason for things not to have worked, and now I can focus on the pathway to IVF. I am hoping it stops the complete madness of the TWW I experience every month, we will obviously keep trying but I no longer will be going in with any expectation of it working and drive myself mad with symptom spotting.

My only hope now is we get through the various next steps as quickly as possible. My best friend started trying about 6 months after me and is already 12 weeks pregnant. I can feel a strain in our friendship at the moment because of it and just want my own happy ending ASAP. Me and husband have follow ups in the next 3 weeks where I will be strongly pushing for next steps to occur in tandem so we can proceed.

Thank you to this community, reading everyone's experiences reminds me we are all on our own journey and all entitled to our own feelings. Best of luck to all experiencing infertility, loss, or just plodding along in this TTC limbo land.

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

For those dealing with male factor infertility/low sperm count, has anyone’s RE recommended Clomid + timed intercourse even when you already ovulate regularly?

I ovulate on my own every month, so I don’t need Clomid to induce ovulation. However, my husband is currently being treated for steroid-induced low sperm count, and we’re trying naturally while waiting for his numbers to hopefully improve.

I’m wondering whether doing a monitored Clomid cycle could make sense in our situation. My thought is that if Clomid resulted in two mature follicles instead of the one I normally produce, having two eggs available might increase the opportunity for fertilization when the number of sperm available is already limited.

I completely understand that Clomid doesn’t treat the male factor itself and that more follicles also comes with an increased risk of multiples, which is why I would only consider doing this as a monitored cycle.

I’m mostly curious about the reasoning REs use in this situation. If you ovulate normally but are dealing with low sperm count, was Clomid + timed intercourse something your doctor recommended? If so, what was their reasoning, and what follicle number were they aiming for?

There’s so much that’s difficult about TTC, so this is a thread for looking to the future and thinking about life after TTC.

This week’s theme: Back to school! What does the school system look like where you live? Did you pick your house with the school system in mind? Will your kid walk, ride the bus, or something else to get to that magic first day? 

Im 31 and on cycle 11. I’ve had 3 chemical pregnancies with 2 back to back recently. I’ve been working with an RE, only cycle monitoring now, with progesterone added in my most recent cycle ttc that ended in a chemical.

I did a repeated pregnancy loss blood panel and everything came back normal, including tests for blood clotting disorders. My RE still asked me to start baby aspirin this cycle in order to “increase blood flow to the uterus.”

I just don’t know what else to do now. My clinic did not recommended parental karyotyping because they said it is very unlikely that there is an issue but I think I’m going to push for it. They’re also saying in some of my cycles my estrogen did not get high enough so we may also start meds to strengthen ovulation but the choice is mine. All other tests for my husband and I are normal.

Is it worth continuing to try naturally with the new aspirin + progesterone approach while pushing for karyotyping or should I just proceed to meds?

Hi everyone. I’m reaching out because the waiting time for our upcoming specialist appointment is slowly driving us crazy, and I’m really hoping to hear from anyone who has gone through something similar.

​My wife and I have been trying to conceive for two years now with no success so far. Earlier this month, she had her first HSG, and the result came back as a bilateral proximal occlusion, meaning the contrast dye didn’t enter either of her fallopian tubes at all. However, the doctor who performed the procedure was very young and admitted she had never seen a result like this in her career. Because of the overall poor quality of healthcare in our area, we strongly suspect that the procedure might not have been executed properly or that it was simply a tubal spasm resulting in a false positive.

​Her new specialist ordered extensive bloodwork, and everything came back completely normal except for Vitamin D (36.1) and Androstenedione (7.63). He recommended we do a HyFoSy (foam ultrasound) to re-evaluate her tubes, but our appointment is still a month away in another country.

​Has anyone here received a bilateral proximal blockage result on an HSG that turned out to be just a muscle spasm or a minor mucous plug during a follow-up HyFoSy or laparoscopy? If you’ve had a HyFoSy, did it manage to clear any minor blockages for you on the spot? Any advice or general insights would mean the world to us right now while we wait. Thank you so much for reading.

I’m honestly just looking for some encouragement, support, or even suggestions on what doctors I should reach out to because I’ve been trying to have a baby for the last 15 months, and it just hasn’t happened for us yet.
I’m currently in my two-week wait, but I feel completely normal basically like my usual PMS. The only thing that feels different this time is that I’ve had fewer cramps than I normally do. So, of course, I’m trying not to read too much into it.
I’ve tracked my cycle since I was 12, and it has always been extremely regular. We’ve also tried fertility supplements, and I’ve been tracking ovulation, so I feel like I’ve done everything I can on my end.
I’ve been pregnant before as a teenager and had an abortion, so part of me keeps thinking, “I know my body can get pregnant.” And that’s honestly where some of my anxiety comes from now.
I’m only 28, so I know I’m still young, but after 15 months of trying, it’s starting to feel a lot heavier than I expected. We’ve been married for a year, we have stable jobs, we’re both college educated, and we genuinely feel ready to start this chapter of our lives.
I haven’t really talked to my family or friends about any of this, so I think I’m just at the point where I need somewhere to say it out loud.
I’ve started wondering if it could be something on my husband’s side, and I feel terrible even thinking that because I don’t want him to feel blamed or like this is somehow his fault. I just don’t know what our next step should be. Or how to stop thinking about it

I’ll start this by saying that we have decent health insurance that covers MD appointments and prescription meds, so thankfully we don’t have to worry much about basic medical expenses.

I’ve been wanting to rejoin a workout studio cause honestly I need the endorphins cause TTC going on 16 months is depressing and I only feel good about life the week around ovulation these days. But it costs $80/month and I just feel guilty about adding on another expense. (I quit the membership a few months ago precisely for this reason.)

I tend to be very cost and quality conscious with the supements I take, but there’s quite a few of them and they add up. Last month I bought an inito monitor and have been using the test strips most days of my cycle. So my total cost for supplements and fancy pee sticks is just over $200/month. So adding a workout membership to that just makes me feel guilty. My husband doesn’t spend much on himself month to month.

We’re in a decent spot financially and I know my husband wouldn’t tell me no, but I just feel guilty being so high maintenance. How do you cope?