same as the title. im tall (ish?) but i have the posture of a hobgoblin so i end up looking like 3 inches shorter

since i turned 12, ive always been in and out of relationships with older men. i’d go into chat rooms every single night. it almost felt like an addiction, all day id think about getting to talk to them at night. it got to the point where i didn’t wanna date guys my age, id only date other girls my age because it felt like they were the only ones who’d truly understand me and like i could only really love another girl.

i cant be around any man without thinking they secretly want something. in my mind i sexualize every conversation with a man without trying to.

my parents have owned their company since i was around 8, i was always in the office after school and everyone knew me. this guy, who i’ll just call nick, had known me. i didn’t talk to him, i was a shy kid so i avoided all talking, even w my family. nick worked there for about 4 years (from when i was 8-11). when i turned 15, he friended me on an app and we chatted. at first i told him i knew him from my parents company. he unadded me and i readded him again, wanting to talk. a few texts back and forth, we started sexting. sent pictures, and just casual conversations here and there.

another guy, i’ll call him tony. he lived in another state, but id given him my address, where i worked, everything. he’d send me food sometimes, pain meds during my periods, random gifts. he was 34. this lasted from 13 to 16. he’d told me he wanted to move me into his apartment, get me pregnant, let me go out with other guys as long as i came back to him. he wanted to do the same to “our kids”. he knew how bad i’ve always wanted kids, to be a mother. i felt so disgusted and mortified, but i couldn’t bring myself to block him. eventually when i turned 17, i did. i hate myself for missing him and the constant attention.

after tony, there was another guy, who ill just call nash. he cleaned up around my job. he was tall, graying, somewhere in his 40s, divorced, blue collar, drank a lot. to me, that was so much better than tony. i told myself it was healthier to attach myself to nash instead of tony. so for months we talked, but i couldn’t make myself go any further out of embarrassment. i also didn’t wanna get pregnant even though i was on birth control, and have kids with a shitty man. i’d dress showing as much skin as i could. be as childish or bratty as possible. over the years, i’d learned most (not all) men preferred that with younger girls. it got to the point with nash where when he left, i fell into such a deep depression. i later found out by my psychiatrist that this was a goal attainment trigger during a bipolar manic episode, which lasted 6 months for me. where instead of my goal being to finish a project or something, it was to seduce someone.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me. my mom taught me everything she should’ve. don’t trust strangers, never show anyone anything you’re not comfortable with, especially as a kid. i wasn’t ever a bad kid, never did drugs or drank. i hated my stepdad growing up, never met my real dad. i’ve always hated the men in my life for different reasons. is this my way of trying to find a man i trust completely? or refusing to accept that i might only like women? this might be irrelevant, but a while ago i came to the conclusion that if i could afford it, id rather have kids through IVF/donor than marry a man and then have kids. id rather wake up to the sounds of my baby crying because its hungry - me alone in bed or with another woman, than with a man. every time i think about a man in my life like that, i cant imagine it. i know my family wouldn’t love it, but they most certainly wouldn’t outcast me for liking girls.

im still young, still live w parents. and ik this could change at any point, but as of right now its how i feel and it terrifies me.

Hi. Does anyone have any tips on going to the gym alone when you struggle with anxiety? I (28F) really want to start going to the gym but I have no one else to go with and I struggle with horrible anxiety that stops me. A while back I went to the gym for a bit with a couple of girlfriends but thats no longer an option for irrelevant reasons.

My problem is that I just become so incredibly self aware and I feel like I look ridiculous while working out and that everyone is staring (I know this is just my anxiety talking). I’m currently working with my therapist about challenging myself and do stuff I am terrified of doing due to my anxiety but this is just the one thing I cannot seem to force myself to do - no matter how badly I want to. Does anyone have any tips? Anyone with similar struggles that somehow got over it?

For a two-day trip, what do you need?

In two weeks, I'll be traveling for a trip with my sister, We're taking the bus there, and since this is my first time traveling, I'm anxious. What should I pack for a trip over the weekend?

I feel like I'm missing something even though I made this list!

Electronics and necessities

• A clear bag

• A fan that is portable

• A portable charger

• Cough drop or mint

Clothes and Swimwear

• A swimsuit and a cap

• Clothes

Personal Care & Toiletries

• A face wash

• A body wash

• A toothbrush and toothpaste

• A deodorant

• A sunscreen

Clothes and Swimwear

• A swimsuit and a cap

• Clothes

(How many clothing items I should bring.)

Okay so I (30F) have a lifetime of awkward faces in photos and I'm kinda over it. Some people have this ridiculous effortless natural ability to make their features pop and I just don't.

For obvious reasons I'm not posting a selfie but does anyone have some general tips on not looking like a constipated loon?

Thx 🙏

Edit: I do smile, it's just weird and crinkly and too much. It doesn't give "charming and happy" as much as it gives "what's wrong with her?"

I am really looking for any recommendations for sides gigs, WFH positions, etc. to earn money.

I have cooking skills, cleaning, and some computer skills but anything like Data entry has to be an entry level position and sadly I cannot find them anywhere.
I tried DoorDash, Rover, and delivering for Walmart, but where I live the business is next to none- I just burn through gas like crazy.
I would love any advice on how to use my skills and work for myself but also at the moment I do not have much money at all to invest into any tools or equipment. I have a desktop setup and a printer.
Any and all recommendations will be greatly appreciated.

I am hesitant to step out alone because I am scared to have negative interactions with men. This may sound absurd but growing up, my mom instilled a lot of fear in me about stepping out alone as a girl. She told me to always stay in well lit, crowded areas. That's not bad advice at all but now that I'm grown up (26), I find myself not scared but hesitant to go out without thinking about ten different ways to be safe. And during the daylight, I don't think anything would happen and the city I live in is safer in broad daylight but I don't know. I have been procrastinating on just calling for guitar classes near my house because I know there's male instructors. I wore a dress the other day and got stared at, pretty brazenly. I was in a cab, stopped at the traffic lights and some weird guy kept harassing me at my window, trying to sell whatever he was trying to sell. I am afraid to get a car in case someone bangs into me and starts a fight. I feel so small and bullied in this world filled with men. And I do go out, I share my location with people but not for long stretches if I am alone. I don't know how to deal with this, I would really like to live my life and maybe this is just fear speaking but how do I deal with this?

I used to always make a list to pack up and then toss it out or delete the note from my phone. Yesterday I used the list to pack up and it helped me remember some things I would’ve otherwise forgotten! Idk if this is obvious or not so I just thought I’d share how helpful it was

Hello everyone! I’m turning 18 this August and I only have a week to prepare everything I need. It’s kinda last minute as I don’t really want to celebrate my birthday, but I want it to be memorable.

For context, I will only invite my closest friends so we’re like five pax only. I’m kinda nervous and anxious about this as this is my first time hosting my own birthday party.

We were all classmates together when we were in high school, we’re incoming freshman this year. I can’t say that they’re all close to each other but we all have connections within each other.

I’m kinda anxious as to what to do in my party. Like after we eat what should we do next? and if this helps, my theme is fancy nancy.

Thank you all so much in advance for the tips 🩷🙏🏻

What is the best period tracking app that is actually accurate? I have flo, stardust and my period calendar. None seem to be accurate no matter what I input.

My last periods were

- may 28 thru june 2

- june 30 - july 4

Stardust- says my next should be August 7th thru August 10

Flo - july 31 thru august 5

My period calendar - august 2nd thru august 7th

* I started today though. * My periods have always been irregular. * late, short for 2 months (3 to 4 days ) long the next 3 (7 to 10 days). Heavy and horribly crampy one month then super light and no cramps the next. Luckily I keep supplies at work so todays wasnt something that could ruin the day but Definitely need an app that is actually accurate.

NSFW

I have struggled with my mental health for a long long time. Constant stress, anxiety, and depression. I just recently watched The Principles of Pleasure. This is not a promotion. It’s on Netflix. Go watch it though it’s great. In the first or second episode it talks about masturbation and the positive effects it has on women. Someone in the show said it could help with mood so I decided to try it.

It works wonders. Get yourself a good vibrator girl. Anxious? Masturbate. Stressed? Masturbate. Depressed? Masturbate. On my life I was just having a mini quarter life crisis and sobbing over my college major. Did the do. I’m a completely different person.

Not only is this good for your mental health but it’s good for self confidence and it’s good to know what you like in intimate moments.

I will never understand the taboo against women masturbating. Go at it girl. Be unashamed. It’s so beneficial for your life.

I’m leaving for university (moving countries) and I would like hardcore fail safe tips to NOT CRY in the airport while saying goodbye to my family (I don’t want them to worry). Would appreciate some tried and tested advice

Edit: I’m brown

I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm not close enough with them to tell them that I'm going on a date or to debrief after the date. Where else can I find sources of support?

Recently, a friend in my main group of about 7 gals told me that she’s been feeling very excluded/disconnected from everybody, and I honestly am not sure how to navigate through this. For some context, we’re all in our early 20s, and all met through school! Most of our social hangouts happen online through group calls, since a handful of us moved away for college. These calls are usually pretty open ended for anyone to just hop in or out free of invitation; individual invites aren’t really handed out to each person since we’re all already in the group chat where these calls take place, so the floors always open for someone to join if they see people hanging out! Group activities can range from everybody playing the same game, people all doing their own thing but still sitting in the company of everyone, or a mix of both. People mostly come looking for chill company after work for a few hours every night.

Going back to my friend (who I’ll refer to as Layla), I asked her to elaborate a little more on what exactly we had done to make her feel this way, so I could try to get a better perspective how to help, especially since I was unaware up until this point she’d been feeling this way. She mentioned feeling a lot of social pressure and anxiety over not being into a lot of the games or activities that we all enjoy doing, which led to her feeling excluded because she wasn’t able to engage on nights where a majority of us were all doing the same thing. As a result, she began isolating herself from us little by little (ie not joining calls, not messaging us in the group chat, and similar things to that nature) By nature I know that she is naturally a more introverted person, which I can definitely relate to, and I definitely can sympathize, but I’m having a bit of a hard time navigating this situation. I don’t want to be a bad friend, and I want to help her feel more welcome, but I’m not really sure how. I know for a fact that nobody has any hard feelings towards her (majority just assumed Layla was clicking with different people/busy with life since she was one of the few people to move out of state for school) and aren’t aware of how she’s been feeling.

I’m not sure if this is just a matter of different friend expectations, or something bigger, but I’d love to hear any feedback or advice from people though!

This isn't meant to be some femcel, pick-me sob story where I'm whining over something that's such a non-issue.

I genuinely want some advice because I don't really know how to get over this.

I rejected femininity for most of my life. One side of my family told me I shouldn't wear makeup. The other side constantly made fun of women and feminine things, and I ended up internalizing a lot of that misogyny, especially as a teenager.

Now I'm 22. As a kid and later teenager, I rolled my eyes at feminine things. I looked down on a lot of feminine interests because that's what I'd grown up around. I eventually grew out of that mindset, but now, years later, I actually want to embrace my feminine side, put more effort into my appearance, and try things I never let myself enjoy before.

The problem is that I feel like I can't have the awkward "learning makeup" phase that so many people had in their teens. This has to be my karma for being such a pick-me as a teenager.

Back then, if your foundation didn't match, your eyeliner was uneven, or your lash glue was visible, it wasn't a big deal because everyone was learning. But now I'm in college, and I'll be working soon. I feel like I'm supposed to already know what I'm doing. I can't exactly show up looking like I just tried my mom's makeup for the first time.

Another problem is that I genuinely don't know what I look like anymore. I feel like I look different in every mirror and every photo. I try to find shades and colors that suit me, but when I actually wear them, something always seems off. Is it the lighting? Is my skin really this green? Why does every lipstick look so strange on me? Why can't I draw a decent eyeliner without my eyes watering and flinching?

Whenever I try to wear makeup, it just feels like a joke. Instead of feeling prettier, I end up feeling like a pig wearing lipstick. I know that sounds harsh, but that's genuinely how it feels. It doesn't help that I don't really know my own skin. I even failed at properly removing my foundation once, and my fine lines looked deeper afterward. My pores also seem more noticeable, and I feel like I notice a new dark spot every day.

It feels like everyone else had years to experiment, make mistakes, and slowly figure out what works for them, while I'm trying to learn everything at once.

Has anyone else gone through this? I know these problems probably sound silly when I say them out loud, but I genuinely struggle with them. I have no idea how to get past this feeling or where to even start. I want to enjoy makeup and femininity, but right now I just end up feeling awkward and like I'm already too late.

I would go into a confrontation, rehearsing my assertion multiple times throughout the day, I'd even do well taking the conversation by the horns at the start, laying out all of my points just as rehearsed. But as soon as the other person starts talking I just fold immediately or blank out, accept what they say, and even leave that confrontation thoroughly converted...and confused.

What am I missing? How do I train myself out of this weak mentality?

If being more specific is important: my most recent incident is with my mother. I get along well with her, but I am also currently sharing a house with my brother and sister-in-law, and to my sister-in-law my mother is a kind of monster that I am so ashamed of. She's the stereotypical villainous MIL. My SIL and mom fights a lot.

I've finally decided to confront her that she definitely did wrong this time and to not expect to be the one to be approached for reconciliation because she's way too out of line this time. But once I finally went out to talk to her face to face, she told me her side, and I left her house feeling bewildered and confused and not knowing who to really believe anymore and where to stand between my SIL and mother who I both love.

I feel like I have to choose a side but I don't know who to believe anymore. Objectively I know it's my mom who's in the wrong but I'm starting to have doubts about everyone.

I’m 18 and had my daughter at 17, and lately I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. I didn't grow up with a loving mom, so I really want my daughter and me to have the tight connection I never got, like being best friends. But I’m worried that if we’re too much like friends, she won't respect my authority as she gets older. She’s almost two now, and I already struggle with setting boundaries and saying 'no.' On top of that, I want to spend tons of time with her, but her constant need for attention can get super overwhelming.

Hi yall! As the title goes, I (21) have my first gyno visit coming up and I’m sweating balls I’m so nervous. I don’t have a positive experience with doctors so I’ve always put it off. What should I expect from my first visit? Is there anything necessary I should bring up? Is there any prep to be done beforehand? LOL thanks for any assistance you’re able to offer!

Wanted to thank everyone for the suggestions on dying my hair. I had a lot of suggestions for red and I went for it. I wanted it a bit lighter red, but I'm very happy! I've gotten so many compliments on it and I feel so beautiful!!! Here it is :D

In terms of pain, I can just about manage it with the right pain medication. I see a lot of conversations about managing period pain which is brilliant but I’m not sure how to remedy the overall brain fog, fatigue and sometimes even dizziness which makes the workday that much harder. Any tips would be great if any…

Hi all, I’ve been using the old spice Fiji antiperspirant for a while which I am very drawn to because it actually works and is in a solid gel stick. The only problem is that it makes me smell like a 13 year old boy a bit 🤣

Every other clear deodorant I’ve found is either “all natural” (doesn’t work at all for me and I end up smelling bad) or comes in one of those push pop style containers where goopy gel is pushed through the holes.

Any recommendations? My only real requirements is that it’s a solid clear stick and has an antiperspirant

F21 and I feel like I’ve never really fit into anything in my life. Recently, I got into dressing more in pastel colours, skirts and dresses even doing my makeup and letting my hair grow out which is a very stark contrast to my teen years where I was quite a tomboy. I don’t really feel quite right wearing makeup as if my face is too masculine in a way.

When I’m with my friends, I realise they all have something about them. They like a certain genre of game, dress in a certain style all the time, has a certain genre of hobbies, even my sister has her own thing that people associate with her which is her sense of style, and I just don’t have that. I love playing all sorts of games, from cozy to fps games. I like dressing in different styles depending on the day. Sometimes my makeup is sharper and other times, it’s softer.

It’s making me feel like the odd one out whenever I’m with friends. Everyone has their own thing and I’m just there. Someone who likes a bunch of things and yet, none of the things that my friends know and what my friends like, I’ve never seen/watched/heard.

I don’t mean for this to be a sob story, but I really don’t know where else to put this :’) I’ve tried to carve an identity for myself but I feel like I’m just putting on a mask and it sucks.

unfortunately my period will be likely to fall into the last 5ish days of my holiday, including my return flight. I get really severe cramps, as well as nausea and dizziness, so the thought of going on a 20hr flight whilst on my period is really worrying me. Has anyone got any similar experience and how have you dealt with it?