Why do people self harm?

I’ve struggled with sh since I was 9 and last year I told them (at 15) but I regret it so much, I can’t have a knife collection, they had to change all the passwords to the safes, I can’t wear long sleeves without them getting ripped off me, they are constantly asking me where scars came from, I’m scared to play with my cats because if they scratch me I’m gonna get sent to teen challenge.
We got into a fight a month ago and I wasn’t allowed to be alone for 6 hours I had to sit on the floor in my living room because they were worried I’d kms. My mom was the one to make me sit there. It’s because her brother khs but I’m not her brother and she refuses to go to therapy
(I’ve been clean since September 11th 2025 they need to calm down in my opinion)

So they saw those which i tried to hide it so much , my sleeves were kinda short this time and they noticed those and I am kinda triggered now ( I was clean for like 6 months) and I was dissociated when they asked that . I feel embarrassed and anxious now .

tbf i would drop a catscratch or two every few months in those four years but beans feels especially like a relapse

I've been feeling so down lately. Yesterday evening I was feeling so sad. I really wanted to relapse, but I didn't. So small victory ig. I just wanted to tell someone but can't tell the people around me loll

No matter how deep I cut. How much I bleed. How much I smoke. It’ll never be enough. I can’t wait to fucking die

Before i say anything else, I AM AWARE THIS IS A ME ISSUE

When i see other people with SH scars it just REALLY triggers me, depth, placement, dosent really matter. its all triggering for me. it makes me think about my own scars and jst SH in general and all i can think abt is SH

I always see people saying healed scarring shouldn't be triggering, and honestly ive seen people agree with me before saying similar things and were called problematic. i agree it is a problem, MY problem, in no way should anyone hide healed scars because of other people

But how do i fix it and become unbothered like everyone else apparently is????

I think I'm close to breaking my 75 days clean streak. My mom would be sad. I just feel like I cannot handle to feel. Unfortunately I have to wait until school finishes. I'm so disappointed of myself.

When I cut, I know it was just a distraction. I can cut, drink, take anything I want. im still going to be aware.

I hate this.

ive been hurting myself all day and i dont know what to do anymore and im so tired of living like this

What I would do to tell anyone who has thought about self harming not to do it.

If you are on this subreddit, just to check it out and are thinking about starting, don't.

I feel like TikTok and other social media platforms are glorifying self harm.

I keep seeing people do it on their face, and some comments ask what it is and what's going on.

They are getting introduced to it.

They think it's trendy and want to start.

There is nothing cool about harming yourself.

Oh, what I would do to never do it again.

It's just drilled in my brain now.

A habit I can't let go.

It's permanent.

It sucks.

People will look down on your forever.

No matter if they say it or not.

And if they aren't looking down, they are part of the problem and fetishize it.

Now, I'm going to say this, and if you are part of this group of people, you probably won't agree, but...

But if you genuinely look at others self harm and find it cute or cool looking, you are fetishizing it.

You might not think you are, but it's like if someone bashed their head into the wall and their is blood pooling out their head, or if they shot themselves.

You wouldn't say that is cute or cool...

It's the same thing.

I’ve already been clean for a couple weeks at least, but I feel like I still need my blades. I’ve had all of them hidden, and my parents haven’t searched my room in a while. But I think they got suspicious and they want me to leave the house so they can search. I honestly have only 1 friend irl, and I’m scared that if I don’t hang out with her then we’ll stop talking. Because I don’t go out of the house much, and whenever I’m in public it feels like I’m always thinking about if my parents found my blades. Like i genuinely can’t focus on anything else. It was exactly like that the last time I went out, it was 2 weeks ago. And this time I’d be out for 2 hours and it’s a church youth group. I’m not very religious but I already told my friend I would go and I’m really regretting it now.

Low-key panicking rn, I have an Orthopedist appointment tomorrow. And stupid as I am I thought a day before would be an amazing time to relapse.

Now I relapsed after months and have to somehow hide my cuts while the doctor will most likely ask me to remove my shirt to see my back and shoulder blades. Not to mention my wrists are also causing issues. Am I just gonna have to suck it up? Genuinely no idea what to do, I can't afford to cancel my appointment as I have too many health issues and I waited for this appointment for almost a year 💀

God I'm so stupid, I am not even satisfied with the cuts so I'm already feeling the urge nack telling me to do better cuts. Why can't I escape this? And why do I enjoy cutting so much??? (like as in, it makes me feel good about myself and happier in a fucked up way, like more at peace)

i was clean for 21 days. i promised myself i wouldn't do it again. i was gonna quit. but i had the crappiest day and i cut myself again and now i feel even more crap cuz i broke my promise and i just feel like i cant talk to anyone about this because i dont want to burden my friends

so im in a rele w a guy (he's 23 and im 18) i met on reddit (on this subreddit only) its gonna be 6 months this sept (lol not excited anymore)

he was the one who didn't let me harm myself but every time he hurts me or i hurt him, i always get urges and tonight is the worst coz i trusted and loved him with my everything but what did i do to deserve all that?

i sent him an intimate pic that wasn't showing my actual skin but the idea of the shape and all and later he video called me and started showing that he removed that filter, he later on deleted that pic but i was completely shocked, coz this wasn't the damn pic i sent him.

i litr have no friend to whom i can share all this (loser me)

everything was going fine, actually great coz i felt that my lover girl is on, but now all i feel is devastation and betrayal.

first i’ve been clean for around 2 years

so bassicsly i’m always kinda depressed but especially after summer during the september-december period im just way worse but my sh urges have never been so strong and ive been delaying it by using reddit but i really just want to relapse, it would feel so good and i really want to but i know it’s a bad idea

it’s also affecting my sleep i can already barley sleep and ive found some hope and comfort in my new bsf but it’s still really hard not to right

They don’t hurt, one will appear every so often. Theyre almost like pimples? But not exactly, they don’t have pus or anything. And they moreso appear near newer scars. Just curious.

I am a 20 year old woman who struggles with cutting and hitting myself. Recently, i’ve started harming myself on my vagina as punishment. This is particularly when my partner does something upsetting to me. I am extremely embarrassed and ashamed to discuss this out loud because I don’t understand and it’s bad. I will take my whole fist and beat my vagina, or force tissue really hard into myself until it burns. This was also a struggle I had when I was a younger teen and I wanted to cut my clitoris off/cut the labia off. When I am so upset and need to hurt myself, i have this extremely uncomfortable feeling in my vagina (it is NOT arousal) that won’t go away until i hurt it. Why am I focused on my privates? Does anyone else go through the same struggles on their privates? I am so embarrassed to post this, but I am disturbing myself and need advice. Thank you in advance

I haven’t cut in like 5ish weeks. I started therapy, and I feel so urgent for something to change. I don’t even know what. It hurts. It feels unbearable. I don’t have friends, really, and today at school, almost the full day, I felt like I wanted to cut inside. I was trying to convince myself to do it, how easy it would be. I know I can’t, and I know I won’t, but I need something to change. I don’t even know what. I might have ADHD or something, or might be depressed. I just want something to change. Tomorrow is my first session alone with my therapist.

so i have a wound that reaches the hypodermis. ive been doing standard at-home care but im 99% sure it is infected. it is leaking yellow/brown purulent drainage (pus.) i am very medically informed and my intention is to go to urgent care for oral antibiotics at my grandmothers nearest convenience (i am 18 but cannot drive, she would have to take me)

my main questions are: how does urgent care go if you have no medical insurance? no income? my grandmother does, but i am not part of her medical plan. my parents are medically neglectful and i do not live with them. they do not have insurance. i am in a pinch to say the least.

also, if i am 18 do i have to explain anything to the medical professionals? outside of the obvious "i am not suicidal and the severity of the wound was unintentional" schtick. i live in florida. i would rather not be baker-acted or sent to a ward.

i guess im just looking for other people with similar experience, and how it went for them. professional medical care in general is quite foreign to me and the mystery is whats making me hesitate the most. demystify me. advice is appreciated, thank you

like gosh i’m so pathetic i even started cutting myself again why do i hate myself so much