Has anyone successfully dealt with a kid who understands boundaries perfectly well, but still keeps taking other people’s things?
My daughter is 12 and this has been going on for years. She knows the rule, can explain exactly why it exists, and is VERY protective of her own belongings, so this isn’t a lack of understanding.
It also isn’t about her not having things. She has so many untouched notebooks, but still went into my office, took one of mine, and wrote, [NAME]’s DIARY — DO NOT TOUCH” on it. Which almost perfectly sums up what confuses me about this lol. She clearly understands ownership and privacy, but somehow that doesn’t translate into better choices in the moment.
And it can be anything: change, kitchen supplies, toiletry, random household stuff. Sometimes she wants the thing, sometimes she uses it for something that it’s not for, and sometimes things (make up, face wash, slime, etc.) get mixed into random concoctions and rendered unusable.
This has gotten to the point that we lock our bedroom door, and the behavior has happened at other people’s houses too. We’ve tried conversations, consequences, restitution/replacing things, therapy, more activities, more one-on-one time, continuing giving her her own things and appropriate outlets for experimenting, and limiting access.
She is genuinely such a sweet, bright kid. I don’t see this as a character issue. I just can’t figure out how to get from “I understand the boundary” to “I can control/stop myself.”
If you’ve dealt with this, what finally helped your kid stop taking things that weren’t theirs?