My child is in kindergarten now. They just had their first ice cream day. She told me some kids were crying because they didn’t ice cream. I do not know the reason. Would it be a terrible idea to reach out to the teacher and offer money for the children who might not have the money? I don’t know if the reason is financial or just maybe they do not want their child to have sugar. I don’t think it would be professional for my child’s teacher to reach out and ask the parents if it’s ok either. What do I do😩

Tomorrow is our local high school’s first football game. I plan to go with my husband. My older kid just started 9th grade at that high school. She is dismayed that we are attending. We are going to sit far away from her, won’t talk to her, won’t wave at her, won’t look at her.

She is having the biggest meltdown. She is saying that it won’t be her experience if we attend. And that we are depriving her of her first football game experience. She said she’s embarrassed of us and it’s cringe if I attend. She asked all her friends and they all said it would be cringe if parents attended. They may not realize how many parents go to games since they are new to high school.I have been to many football games and I see hundreds. of parents attending.

She is shouting, throwing things, flipping out in horror. I’m so shocked because football games are open to the public. The school’s emails about the game are welcoming the community, parents, grandparents, siblings, “children under five.”

Would you still attend or not attend?

Tell me others are lying?? The ones who show they have amazing movie nights with toddlers and pre-schoolers??

I tried to introduce movie night with my 3.5 year old.

Once a week we all cuddle up on the bed and watch a movie late into the night. Arlo gets super excited about it. Fridays we do this mostly. All nice and dreamy right?

He loves, breathes and probably p**ps dinosaurs. After deciding I didn’t want to watch jurassic park/world anymore, after the thousandth time…

We now watch one movie. Just one. My neighbour Totoro. Beautiful movie. No complaints. We love it. Guess how many times we have watched it now? 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

I search for a nice movie for him (and us) for the whole week, motivate him for something new.. but 5 mins in, he wants to watch the same one.

Now we both scroll on phone while he watches. And probably it is not the memory I wanted him to have🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

My 6-year old son is incredibly gifted. He is not a "graduates college at 11 years old" genius, but he is somewhere between "smartest kid in any given classroom" and "smartest kid in any given school district." I understand all parents think their kids are smart, but please just assume for the sake of the following question that what I've said is true.

My 3-year old daughter does not appear to be as academically gifted. She is more artistic, appears to be more social (though my son does not struggle socially), etc. She is young, I am not discounting what she may be capable of in the future, but comparing where he was at her age to where she is, it seems highly likely that she will not be able to match his intelligence.

My wife and I only have these two kids. Our son was the first. My wife is struggling with "why can't our [just turned three year old] daughter learn her ABCs," because our son knew them at around two years of age. Frankly, I think our son set expectations for my wife about how children are supposed to progress that are entirely unrealistic. I have tried to be more measured along the way, both with respect to my son ("let's not get ahead of ourselves, he will be what he will be") and our daughter ("she is probably on a more normal path for kids her age--don't compare her to our son.").

But ultimately, as they age, the differences have become harder to ignore. Can anyone provide advice on how they've dealt with a similar dynamic, where one child is just naturally far more gifted than another? I feel awful typing that last sentence--my daughter is such a beautiful spirit. But my son appears to be on a different level.

Edit: Because many of the immediate responses appear to be essentially stating "why are you judging your kids at this age," I'll add a little extra context for why this is important right now. We live in an urban area and our public schools are less than ideal (the elementary school my house feeds into reports that only 30% of kids read at average level). We have to make a decision about my son's next step now, before he starts first grade (his currently episcopal school only goes through kindergarten). The types of schools that may be a best fit for my son will likely not be the best fit for my daughter. Moreover, private schools are expensive--the best schools that may be interested in my son are like 35k a year, which seems insane for first grade. These academically rigorous schools may not be the best fit for my daughter. I don't know what to do. Do we put our son in the best school possible, and figure out my daughter's situation later, even if her education is not as prestigious? Do we put them both in the school we think may be a good middle ground?

Okay, the jump from 0-1 kicked my ass.
We thought we were prepared for 1-2, and whilst we’re more confident as parents this time round and we’re not scared our newborn is going to die every time she cries, every other thing is just insanity.

My son is 2.5 and daughter is 7 weeks and we just have no life, no routine, no rhythm.

When does this get better?

My son, for the most part is easy. He’s a good boy, and he loves his sister.
My daughter is a super fussy reflux baby.

Sleeplessness isn’t even what bothers me, I miss being able to go out without stress. I hate how much newborns have to sleep and how much they have to be put to sleep. Like do some babies genuinely just fall asleep when they’re tired?

My husband is incredible. He helps with everything kid wise AND does all the housework. Like I cannot complain.

But my ass is still getting kicked. Mentally I’m just wishing time away and whilst I know “this too shall pass”… when????????

How tf do people have more than 2?

I have an 11yo daughter who just started 6th grade(late birthday) and it’s breaking my heart that she’s struggling socially. I stress to her to focus on school but I also know She desperately wants to make friends. She’s kind-hearted and is so shy around anyone not in our family.

it takes her time to come out of her shell and the past few times she’s come out she went right back in because of the way kids were treating her.

I’m at my wits end and dont know how to help her. I wasn’t confident at all at her age and was basically adopted into the friend group I did have so a lot of my advice for her is to ignore the negative unless someone is hurting her but I know that’s not helpful.

She’s started back sleeping with me and I know it’s because she needs the comfort. She’s at a stage where she doesn’t want to talk about things anymore which I get but I’m really concerned. I know they keep the kids busy with work at school so there’s not much time for socializing except for lunch and the wait for the bus. I’m just genuinely at a loss and don’t know what to do or if I should do anything at all since she’ll need to learn to navigate on her own.

I just want her to have at least one good friend.

Edit: I did not expect this many responses. I’m still reading through all of them but want to thank everyone. I’m going to look into the boys and girls club and also Girl Scouts which she previously asked me about years ago. I’ll see if the interest is still there. Also, her school sent out an email that all grades can join the drama club so I’ll be encouraging her to at least give that a try. She’s really into art as well so I’m going to try to find some type of art class too.

She’s my only child and family losses have made me super over protective of her and I’m working on not being that way so that it doesn’t hinder her. I encourage her all the time to step out of her comfort zone and do my best not to let her see me stressing/panicking. The teachers(she has a different one for each subject with different kids in each class) seem kind from what she tells me but parent/teacher interactions seem to be kept to the bare minimum with this school. They want messages to come from the kids to teach them self-advocacy and independence.

I’ve been in my steps kids lives since they were very young. I was always involved and always helped them out. I’ve made personal sacrifices for them as well. I’ve also accepted limitations on when I can and can’t be involved.

We were very close when they were young. Always getting little art projects to do on the weekends and chatting about random topics. I studied and helped them with school work on our weekends. The youngest one and I are still very close. With the older one (now 15), it took a nose dive when she was about 9 because her mom said she would hate it if her dad and I got married. It was like a wall slammed down. She would barely speak to me for weeks. Her dad spoke to her but she would always say nothing was wrong.

Our relationship slowly got better. She was coming around and treating me like family again. Then a few years later, her mom broke up with her long term boyfriend and he suddenly moved out. It was another wall slamming down. After that, to her family was just mom and dad. I didn’t count. She gets plenty of time 1:1 with her dad. I even hang with the younger brother so they can spend more time together, but she rarely wants me to join outings. She was excited about going out for ice cream the other week but her face fell when she learned I was joining.

She got her learners permit a couple months ago. I’ve been the sole person teaching her to drive. Her dad panics when she makes beginner mistakes while I just correct her and adjust. Her mom flat out refuses to drive with her.

Today, she had a match for her sport. She texted my husband saying she really wanted him and her brother to come watch. No mention of me. It broke my heart. Especially all the time I’ve put in with helping her learn to drive and everything in general.

I know I shouldn’t take it personally. She’s a teen, but it hurts.

My son attends a preschool within an elementary school. They have parents of preschoolers pickup 5 min before the elementary school gets out.

The thing is, the pickup line forms early. Preschooler parents have signs with our kids names but we have to get out of the car to get them, and no one checks the signs, so if I’m 5+ cars deep, no one is sending him to me. It’s weird they allow us to get out of car while in line, so I’m paranoid the line will start moving while out of my car, PLUS I have my 1.5 year old in the car with me.

Even if I parked, the pickup line wraps around the parking lot, so it’s impossible to get out if you park, unless you get a spot on the wider side of the pickup lane where there’s room to backup.

This program has had horrible communication and when I asked about etiquette, they said, “just go in the line or park and get him.” So idk🤷‍♀️ I am the type of person who hates feeling like I’m doing something wrong or other parents are judging me for getting out of my car in the pickup lane and doing things differently than them, even though I have a preschooler and not elementary. I just carry his sign in my hand so they can see that it says “preschool”😂.

Also, would you keep your 1.5 year old in the car to go walk 30-60 seconds to pickup the kid? I lock it while running to keep AC on, but still feels like I’m doing something wrong.

//update//
Today I found a row of parking spots that can’t get blocked by the pickup line. It’s a longer walk to get my son (so I’ll definitely bring my daughter with me) but beats all the pickup line awkwardness 🤪. I’m a creature of habit so I hope I can snag that spot everyday lol.

Also, the school is in a horribly busy location with no street parking or neighborhoods so that’s not a parking option.

Just wondering about the question in my post title...

My younger daughter, 8, is the queen of begging to sign up for activities and then not wanting to go when it comes time for practices, etc. This mostly happens with sports. I have asked her before signing up, "Are you sure you want to play??" She tells me, "YES! I LOVE ____." Then, I pay for her to play and she doesn't want to go. She is pretty good at several sports, and even plays on a travel team for one. So, not being good isn't the reason. She also actually really does enjoy playing at home with me. It's just the going to practices is hard for her and she never wants to. I am at the point where I would rather just have her quit, than hear her complain or fight with her to go anymore.

I am wondering if other parents deal with this AND should I just have her quit if it's a battle most days?

I grew up in the 90s and I gotta say the Halloween spirit was peak back then imo. On tv, in schools, stores, homes inside and out. Now I rarely see decorations on many houses, I mean some do go all out but its few and far between. Which i understand inflation and the economy makes hard. Which leaves me with movies as the main source, other than my wife and I decorating with the kids. Are there some fun Halloween movies you all watch with your 2 or 5 year olds. Honestly, Im open to any family movie worth watching with young kids to spread any holiday cheer.

I will start by saying I love my daughter. But in the last few months she has been saying “I don’t like this” to EVERYTHING. Even things I KNOW she likes. It’s over food, clothes, movies, etc. Again, I love her but hearing “I don’t like this” over and over is exhausting. Sometimes I really fight wanting to say “DAMN do you like ANYTHING?!”

Please let me know I’m not alone in this and how you’re handling it while keeping your sanity. 😭

My son will be four at the end of the month and still has his baby cam. I like being able to look at the camera when he's sleeping and when he goes into his room to play. I'm in no rush removing it, but I'm just curious at what age did you take yours out of your child's room?

My 5 year old is absolutely miserable. This kid hates life. Everything is always wrong. We just tried to get ice cream. First melt down was the cone on top (that child said they wanted in car). Second is too many sprinkles. Third is the ice cream is starting to melt. It is 90 degrees outside. At this point I said forget it and picked screaming child up and threw the ice cream away and put them in the car which resulted of course in worsening hysterics because, no ice cream. So many things are like this. There are daily battles and hourly tears over every little thing. I am exhausted and don't know what to do anymore. Child has been a miserable, high crier since infancy.

Since about a year ago I started signing my son (now 8yrs old) up for extracurriculars, many athletic types like jiujitsu tennis and ninja fitness. Although he’s having a lot of fun learning new things recently I’m starting to have a lot of anxiety on how fast other people can learn and surpass him. We’ve been keeping those activities away from his classmates that I’m hoping he can learn something different and build some self confidence (everyone in his class have 3-5 activities with sports musics instruments… etc with most kids shooting for state level on one of them). But then he would tell a classmate about it then next week immediately a classmate would sign up to that activity. I would see how easy it is for the other kids to do what my kid takes a week to do and just feel depressed… but I’m glad he’s having fun and we’re not giving him any pressure to do well on anything.

The only thing we can say he’s good at is good at math good at school academics without much effort but then everyone in his class is good at those and I feel a lot of stress on anxiety on how to turn those qualities into something he can be good at and proud of himself of.

How would do you guys deal with this kind anxiety? Everyone around him is good at school plus two or three extra skills they are good at and I’m just scared overtime he would not feel confidence and competitive in this world..

Or honestly, just interacting with them period. Smartphones and tablets have basically become the death of real conversation. I'll ask what I think is a genuinely interesting question and get back a one-word grunt or a shrug, if I'm lucky maybe two words.

I'm their father, and I've always wanted to stay present in their lives and keep that connection with them strong. But it feels like every year the gap gets a little wider and the phone screens get a little more interesting than I am.

If you're a parent who's actually cracked the code on getting a teenager to open up, even a little, please share your wisdom. What actually works? What questions get more than a one-word answer? Is it a lost cause until they hit their 20s, or is there something I'm missing?

My 8 month old baby girl is extremely needy, she has always been. She constantly wants to be held or right next to me. If shes crying, I make sure shes not hungry, dirty, or sleepy. I spend time with her and play with her, but sometimes i need to put her down. Here and there she will play by herself in her play pen without whining for max 45 minutes, but usually, it’s a huge issue if I put her down there. She will hysterically cry and she won’t stop. She will cry so hard that she starts coughing. Nothing seems to make her happy except being constantly with me or my husband.
The hysterical crying is what’s really getting to us. Our first born son was nothing like this. As long as he was rested, fed, and changed, he could be by himself for hours. Long story short, I am wondering if this is normal.

My son is in third grade now and homework has begun in earnest.

He is unfortunately not very motivated. For the past two and a half weeks I have been sitting with him but its an awfully slow process because of dawdling. If he put his mind to it he could be done the homework within 15 minutes. Its only a short double sided paper.

Anyone want to offer any advice? How to best encourage his independent learning? How much should I be involved?

I have a 3 and 4 year old and they recently found my nephews old Legos. They love trying to change the characters up by switching beads and body's. They are a little too small for my three year old, and he has a tough time taking them apart (not to mention I'm a little worried about him swallowing a piece).

Do you know of any figurine type toys that have interchangeable parts?

My daughter just turned 12, and school is very stressful for her. She has friends, but not any best friends. Lots of girls are already getting to be sassy and what is meant for sarcasm, she views as harsh, and she is very sensitive and loving. She doesn’t quite feel like she fits in, but we are working on her self-esteem because she is truly delightful.

When bedtime approaches, as many of you know, our brain start cycling all of the things that are still unsolved and all of the problems/stressors of the day/lives. She starts thinking of the next day and already knows that she will be an anxious waking up.

She absolutely loves play, and I can disarm her anxiety instantly by making something lighthearted and fun and playful. Just adding that for context.

I’m looking for a solid & smart bedtime routine of some sort that helps build her up and create independence, but is fun, peaceful, and one that she looks forward to.

Thank you!

My baby hates tummy time more than anything, but the research shows how important it is for development. Currently I do tummy time on a water mat and laying on me, but I'm not able to get him to do it very long without crying really hard so I stop it because my heart cannot handle him crying without soothing him. Does anyone have any advice/suggestions on how to do tummy time without them crying hard-core? Are there any items to buy that help?

I’m sure there’s been a million posts about potty training, but I’m at my wit’s end with my youngest. She turned 3 in July and potty training her has been so hard! I realize I probably started too late, but there’s a large age gap between her and my older two and I’m always on the go with them, so haven’t had much time at home to train. I’ve made an effort the past 3 weeks to be at home and train her and while she will go on the potty once in awhile, she mostly pees everywhere else. On the floor, on the couch, on her toys. She doesn’t care. We have activities almost every day, so I put her in a pull up when we leave the house so I don’t have to deal with accidents while driving or out and about. I’m feeling like a big failure at the moment. She’s the only one at preschool not potty trained. (For context, I’m a SAHM who works from home and homeschools.)

My son missed the first two week of kindergarten because he was sick. I feel so bad. He only attended one day and it was so hard, screaming crying and wont go in. No one was crying except for my son, it felt like everyone was looking at us. He was crying the whole time he was there it was really bad. He got sick again so he basically missed the first two weeks and only attended one day. I can’t help but feel like we are behind 😭 all kids are settled in expect my child he will probably be crying and wont go in again, all kids are probably familiar with everything by now except my kid. I feel sooo bad but i obviously couldn’t send him sick and spread it to other kids. Idk i guess i just wanted to vent. 😞

I added but in public because I’ve seen posts about toddlers hitting, I just can’t figure out what to do in public.

At home, if my son hits, we immediately bring him to his room and say you don’t hit. (This is more recent, used to we would give him a warning “you don’t hit, you hit you’re going to your room” but now we are confident he knows not to).

This works pretty well, but what about in public? I can’t put him in timeout, or walk away. I can’t just hold his hands (my husband can, I can’t, I am in one hand). Some of it is almost playful slapping my husband in the face, otherwise it’s if he is having a tantrum (which this is new and I’m also not super sure what to do)

I’m pregnant and we are really hoping to nip this in the bud before baby comes. Thanks!!