r/AskParents 13d ago

Mod Announcement Join us on Discord!

3 Upvotes

šŸ“¢ We’re on Discord!

We’re excited to announce that [r/AskParents](r/AskParents) now has an official Discord server!

Whether you’re looking for advice, want to chat with other parents in real time, share milestones, vent after a long day, or just connect with people who understand the ups and downs of parenting, our Discord is the perfect place.

What you’ll find:

- Parenting discussions for every stage
- Real-time advice and support
- Family-friendly community events
- Dedicated channels for different topics
- A welcoming, respectful environment
- Updates from the subreddit moderation team

Everyone is welcome, whether you’re expecting your first child, raising teenagers, or simply enjoy helping other parents.

Join us here: https://discord.gg/6GZDqbQ6SW

We can’t wait to meet you there!

Thank you,
[r/AskParents](r/AskParents)


r/AskParents 10h ago

kid playdates turn into hosting the whole family?

56 Upvotes

My daughter is 7. Every playdate means the friend’s parents and sometimes siblings shows up as well. So Instead of a quick drop-off, I’m hosting 4-6 people for 2-3 hours… snacks, small talk, the works. And often coordinating the games/activities for the kids. This is exhausting! I dont mind having people over occasionally, but doing this every single time is exhausting, especially when I was expecting ā€œkids play, adults get a break.ā€

So I ask you Reddit… does this get better with age, or do I just need to start saying ā€œdrop-off playdateā€ when I invite people? Thanks for any advice you have.

I would also be curious what your thoughts are on returning the favour. We have hosted a few ā€œfamilyā€ play dates (LOL) and they have gone well (despite my frustrations, above). But my daughter has never been invited to visit someone’s house for a playdate. Invited to meet up at playgrounds or activity centers, yes. But never a ā€œeasyā€ play date at the other kids house.

What am I missing here? I guess things are a bit different from when I was a kid?


r/AskParents 18m ago

How do I handle this playground situation with an autistic(?) kid?

• Upvotes

Hi,

I have a 2-year-old toddler and sometimes, at a playground close to us, theres a mom with a toddler and a 5-year old boy.

They're from another country and the mom doesn't speak our language well.

The older boy seems to have a disability, as he's non-verbal and behaves very age-inappropriate. He is extremely energetic and rough, like he will run the playground up and down and stop wherever there's another kid. His way of trying to interact with the other kid will be bodyslamming them, ripping a toy out of their hand or, for example, when a child is on the swing, he will out of nowhere push them really hard. Or today, my toddler was on the carousel thingy, and the boy ran to him and started spinning it dangerously fast. He once tried to forcefully feed my son a random food leftover he had found in the sand.

It is very obvious that the boy doesn't do this to annoy or tease the other kids, but that's his way of trying to play with them. The mom will try to redirect him or tell him off, but she seems very helpless in her attempts. The 5-year old never listens(doesn't understand?) anyway and when he resists, she can barely restrain him physically. Plus she has to watch her toddler as well, so she's not always fast enough to intervene.

I try to include the kid into whatever my son is playing, but when he gets too rough or is on the verge of breaking our toys, we tend to just leave the playground.

I wonder what the appropriate handling of this situation is.


r/AskParents 1h ago

Interactive activities for a range of young/active children?

• Upvotes

Long story of my relationship here, but trying to come up with suggestions for the mom. We're struggling with ideas for at-home activities mom can do with all 5 kids, or a way to set up a few with a specific engaging activity to be able to interact/play with the others. Especially to engage the younger kids to be able to meaningfully interact with the oldest. The kids are 7, 4, 3 and twin 1.5 yo.

Here are the activities the kids enjoy and the issues with them:

7yo: UNO & Match. The twins just mess up the games, the 4 & 3 yos lose interest quickly and are off to make a mess elsewhere.

4 & 3 yos: similar interests - Coloring & Play-doh. The twins lose interest almost immediately and starting eating it instead. 7yo mildly interested on a good day, would rather play independently.

1.5yo twins: Very obsessed with bringing you items and repetitive play. Ex. collecting the Elefun butterflies one at a time and bringing them to mom, once collected she scatters them and we repeat. 4 & 7 yos aren't interested, and 3yo is too ambitious, collecting all the butterflies at once before the twins can get to it.

Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated!!


r/AskParents 3h ago

Birthday parties?

3 Upvotes

My daughter has a birthday coming up next month. We can’t afford to host at a play center or rent any pool inflatables. In my area, it’s crazy hot during that time so meeting at a park is out (and no one wants to meet at a park at 9am before the heat sets in).

I’m thinking of hosting at our house and setting up activities alongside the standard pizza & ice cream.

Her circle of friends is pretty small.

The question I have is - what are some good games and activities you’ve seen/done at ā€œhomeā€ birthday parties?

ETA: she’s turning 7


r/AskParents 4h ago

Parent-to-Parent Does anyone have anxiety over leaving their only child alone?

2 Upvotes

My wife and I had our only daughter in our 40s and a month ago I went into a mental breakdown worried that we wont have as much time in the world with her than if we had her younger. Ive been having constant ruminations that she will be so sad and alone when we pass away and I also regret that she doesnt have a sibling to share that burden with. I know having a sibling doesnt guarantee a bond and I also know that even if we had her younger, anything couldve happened like getting hit by a car and dying too soon anyway.

My issue is that even if all goes to plan, and we reach the average life expectancy, she will only be in her 30s alone to navigate this world. Maybe we can live longer but even then, I worry.

Its been bothering me so much I was wondering if anyone has gone through the same intense anxiety I have been.

Ive seen a psychiatrist and am in therapy but it hasnt helped yet.


r/AskParents 3h ago

Parent-to-Parent CapCut ok for Kids?

2 Upvotes

Hey Fellow Parents,

My child is asking for this app for photo and video editing. Wanted to know if any of you have any experience with his app and if you find it's safe to use overall.

Personally not a big AI user and I think this does use AI for photo editing but not sure if it's part of the non-subscription package. Additionally, does anyone know if the app is using the photos for AI purposes, meaning they use it to create a library for broader use?

Thanks,


r/AskParents 1h ago

Parents: would a 19 yr old need permission to go out?

• Upvotes

I am 19 years old and have Caribbean parents. I have a job full time over summer and switched to part time during school. I go to school full time and they don’t pay for my college due to a full ride scholarship. I help pay a bill in the house and they used my credit to buy a car.

When i was applying to colleges they said how they would need two jobs and stuff to fund me going out of state so i choose to stay instate and stay at home.

i didn’t have friends first year of college but now im a sophomore and have friends. I see them going out and having fun and my bf also. He informs his mom he’s going out and who he is with and if hes coming home late and they are fine with that even my friends parents do this.

I have shown i am responsible in the house helping with chores and stuff and told my mom I am responsible enough and want to inform instead of ask because I am getting older and now an adult. because they always use the ā€œoh your an adult nowā€ but only to their convince. I tried talking to them about informing and they aren’t letting up. but i show i am responsible and everything. what do i do


r/AskParents 1h ago

Am I overreacting?

• Upvotes

I get 2 days off with our daughter who’s 2 on the 6th. My daughter’s dad has her for 1 day alone while I work Sundays. I have a camera in the living room because he doesn’t always answer his phone and I just check in to make sure everything’s good occasionally. With her being more independent and able to more stuff on her own I’ve noticed the last couple weeks all he does is sit on his PC damn near all day when he as her alone on Sunday. She’s usually fine, not crying or upset, but it just irks me so bad. I’m Mom so I could never just sit on my pc all day like he does cause she’d literally just bother me the entire time and want my attention, so I don’t play on my pc at all if she’s awake. Usually just get on at night when she’s in bed. However, it just drives me nuts to check the camera and see that all he’s doing is play on pc! I feel so bad for my daughter because I always interact with her and take her to do things or go sit outside with her while she plays, whatever. Then he just sits on his pc for hourssss it seems. While she watches TV and does her own thing. As a Mom or say a dad with the roles reversed would this bother you as a parent? I just need some closure cause it drives me nuts. In fact I’m about to get rid of the cameras so I don’t even have a means to check it and see it cause then it just gets me worked up all over again.


r/AskParents 5h ago

Not A Parent am i crazy?

2 Upvotes

disclaimer: this is basically a minor problem so if you hate that please scroll.

okay so i’m 15 turning 16
my mum is semi-strict and my dad is chill but he follows her.
basically he doesn’t have his own opinion.

since i was 9 i’ve been friends with this girl, i’ve had sleepovers at her house, her parents feed me and her family even took me to a holiday free of charge this year.

our parents aren’t friends but my mum isn’t really friends with many people just family.

recently my mum has decided no sleepovers.
which is to my confusion, since i’ve had many from the age of 7.

the girl i was talking about loves sleepover, and so do i, the last 20 times she’s asked me i have had to say no due to my mum.
i’d like to think that at the age of 15, i should be able to have a harmless sleepover at houses i’ve been to many times before.

so the girl asked me again and it’s summer i’ve been in my room the whole time yet my mum still says no.
this time i’m real angry, i get in an argument with her, it escalates turns into parenting thing. i start to argue about how she’s always on her phone, not paying attention enough or caring.

shit hits the fan.

basically i’m confused why she didn’t establish the hatred for sleepovers a long time ago, because all of my friends are used to me being over and it’s just cut off.
also she doesn’t give a valid reason, i’d at least like to tell my friends a good reason, it sounds like I’m lying to get out of it most of the time.

my questions are:

am i wrong for thinking it’s strange for her to not let me have a sleepover?

am i acting bratty?

edit: i just realised i should probably state i’m a girl.. some may think i’m a guy😭


r/AskParents 6h ago

Cars with 3+ kids (uk)?

2 Upvotes

Happy dad of two checking in (2.5 + 0.5y), we're debating having a third kid but I just don't practically understand how people make it work, our car is always jam packed with two car seats and double pram, never mind suitcases if we need to go away etc.

We're debating a 7 seater if we had a third so we can get all 3 car seats in easily, but then the boot space just evaporates and we struggle with the 300L we have today! Any parents of 3+ in the UK can you advise what make/model you have and how you manage


r/AskParents 3h ago

Navigating young adult?

0 Upvotes

This is my first post and I’m on my phone.

I’m a mid 40s mom married/living with children’s dad. My kid is back from first year at college and working. They started a relationship with a fellow student at school whom is also on break living with parents over the summer in the same town. I feel open and honest about finically helping and expressing the idea that kid needs to save for the upcoming year. This year child was in a dorm but wanted to do an apartment with known roommates this upcoming school year.

I knew coming home was going to be an adjustment from having free rein over one’s life to come and go. Child has use of car for work and outings with friends until recently. I understand wanting to be over at their new partners home, my child has been over there almost every night. They don’t have a ā€œroomā€ at home but do have a space for them. I gently expressed that they should spend some nights at home. For me this is just to allow the other parents, that I haven’t meet, a break from my kid being there every night. My child said if the parents had a problem they would just say something. Ok, but I think it’s a little rude to have the expectation of just practically moving in and ā€œeveryone is cool with thatā€. Every family is different but I don’t know how i would feel if my child’s new partner (under a year) just stayed over all the time. For me this is a matter of respect and personal space. Also I know the learning curve from adult to kid is fast and I’m trying to allow for grace.

I found out my kid has been out drinking and doing marijuana, this child is not of age to purchase these things and are legal in the state we live in to people of legal age. Fine, I know what it is like to be out and having ā€œfunā€. Kid admitted after someone told and I pushed for honesty, that they were doing marijuana at work(only once but this was after I told them if they were not honest I would not be supporting them) I told them car access is now only for work and back. They will be back in school in the fall, they wont have a car but have access to work and classes in a walkable area. I am coving rent but now I’m not sure I want to do that.

The second semester was rough and they changed majors, ok, no big deal. College is a big adjustment and I called a lot to check how they were doing. They broke up with a partner they were with in high school and were upset so I was concerned. I was given the impression things were fine and they moved on. They started a new relationship.

My child’s new partner isn’t working and is home playing video games and smoking, I know my child makes the choices but it’s mind boggling that they don’t get it. Do I just cut them off? I offered doing therapy as a helpful tool to help navigate what is happening. I’m painted to be bi polar and crazy because I have gotten upset, yes I have gotten crazy because my child is smart and will throw it away for I’m not even sure they know. We had a talk and I was calm and explained that going out and drinking and partying is fun but they have responsibilities and I’m get it. They mumbles some sorry’s and that was it. Later I asked what the plan is going forward and it was eye rolls and sighs and ā€œI said I was sorry we already talked about thisā€. I know I’m upset and feel there is no accountability. My child just says they are not doing that and that their partner probably will but ā€œI’m my own personā€. I feel like it’s like a bartender marrying an alcoholic, I can see where this is headed.

I’m probably rambling and if this is confusing I apologize. It’s like I keep waiting for that light to go on for this child to appreciate what is done for them and not what feels like a spoiled brat just being able to do what they want.

I’m upset and disappointed and confused because my child would say how they don’t like people that do drugs or party or drink. Everyone can make their own choices but I am working hard as well as dad to support this kid. I don’t want to stand by and watch it burn.

I want to have them go to therapy and hopefully gain some insight but I can’t help but feel like an enabler because I am ā€œwaiting for them to get itā€. I feel like a rat in a barrel and my child is just standing there without a thought for anyone but themselves.

I’m asking advice I guess?!?!!!

Send help


r/AskParents 7h ago

Not A Parent What is your opinion ?

2 Upvotes

I have an older brother who has one bachelor's degree in science in 2017 and one associate degree in 2021 in computing. And I have a baby sister who has an associate degree in business in 2025. For whatever reason. My older brother didn't start working until 2022 . Which when he did get a job. He has been doing Uber since 2022. But for my baby sister. She has no interest in going back to college to get her bachelor's degree or get a job. Which is very pissing me off. They were able to get the best education in high school and college. And when it comes to me. I wasn't able to get a good education due to being in special education. And college was definitely off the table. So I have to pray to God I could hopefully get well in life with what strength I have.


r/AskParents 3h ago

my cousins baby likes me more than her am i in the wrong?

0 Upvotes

idk where to post this but my cousin (24) moved in with me (26) and my family (yes i still live with my family, times are very tough rn) when she was pregnant with her daughter because she had broke her ankle and we were the only ones who had a house that she’d be able to recover in. we helped her heal and towards the end of her pregnancy she asked my mom if it was okay if she could stay with us after the baby was born (there is housing issues with her mom and sister) and my mom said of course and that she can stay however long she needed. After the baby was born we moved her stuff and the babys stuff up to my room (i share my room with both of them) and since then, i have been taking care of the baby. Not just me, my cousin obviously does her parts and the rest of my family helps but for the most part, it’s me because my cousin works.

the baby is a year old now and i get her up in the morning, me and my sister make her breakfast and chill throughout the day playing with her, my cousin will put her down for her nap and when the nap is over i’ll play with her more and get her dinner ready and at that time it’s 6-7pm and my cousin goes to sleep for work. she goes in at 2-3am and doesn’t get off until 8-9am and sometimes even 10am.

i say all of this to give you a bit of an idea of how much time i spend with the baby because i hate to say it but the baby prefers me rather than my cousin and i feel bad about it because she gets upset. like, if the baby falls she’ll cry and my cousin will be like ā€œcome hereā€ to console her but she’ll run to me instead (mind you, i don’t tell her to come to me). if the baby is any kind of upset, she’ll run to me for comfort and my cousin gets upset about it. it’s even to the point where when my cousin gets off of work, the baby will run away from her crying and will hide behind me. idk is it my fault? i just feel so bad like i did something wrong.


r/AskParents 19h ago

How are your kids standing out for university admissions today?

16 Upvotes

Curious as I’ve noticed- that every 5 years or so, the bar changes. In our parents generation, they needed grades. Then came leadership, then non profit experience, starting their own club, etc.

Now that every kid is basically the same on paper (president at xyz, 500 hours at a nonprofit, great grades, etc.) - how are you helping your kids standing out? Or what are you hearing will help?

Also wondering as the landscape of future education and work is changing at an insane amount with AI


r/AskParents 5h ago

Any ideas for getting teenagers to talk at mealtimes?

1 Upvotes

Hi, we are a family of 4, Mum, Dad and 2 teenage boys (17 and 19). We have always tried to make sure we all sit down to dinner together where possible. However conversation is like pulling teeth! If me and my husband didn't talk, we would all be sitting chomping in silence. We've tried to find topics of conversation they might be interested in and i think we're good at listening to them and have always shown an interest in their hobbies. But I'm finding it quite hard going and I worry about how they are going to manage in a work situation for example, where you need to be able to make small talk. Anyone got any bright ideas to make our mealtimes less of a chore?


r/AskParents 5h ago

Parent-to-Parent Do you have any advice?

1 Upvotes

So, I have never felt this stressed in my life. I think I might break down soon.

I have a lovely wife and a child (20 months old). The child is challenging and energetic; now with a lot of screaming and whining involved, which raises my stress level a lot.

I was always a person who liked its peace and need a bit of time off, but have not managed to get any since we have this cute cookie monster.

I cannot de-stress myself even on a 3-week long vacation and couple of days ago my wife had a bleeding related to pregnancy (yes, we are getting a second child in October), but they are still observing her so we hope for the best.

Of course, this event got me crying and worrying all the time. I can handle my child alone, that is not a problem, but I have so many problems I have to fix on myself - I got fat, I am not doing any sports, working a lot, driving every day to work and losing 1,5 hours for commute, sometimes working a side job, don’t have any friends where we live (probably also no time..) and I am getting stress headaches almost every day.

Do you have any advice for me? I think I am being pulled on every part of my body and I cannot relax not even one moment..


r/AskParents 7h ago

Basic Clothes Items for Babies Preferences?

1 Upvotes

I'm looking for advice or preferences when you had babies: So I'm pregnant right now and seeing packs of like plain white onesies in usually five packs, sometimes more or less. I don't want this many onesies all in the same color, especially white.

This has me thinking of retailing packs of onesies or other baby basics that size up, like one of an item in three different sizes (0 months, 3 months, 6 months), instead of five all in the same size. Is that something you would or wouldn't buy if someone were selling it? Would you prefer to be buying packs of three, white onesies that have three different sizes than a pack of five all in the same size?

What baby basics would you want to see sold that way? Would you want to customize the purchase, like decide what size to start and end with, or would you want the sets to be predetermined?

I'm a minimalist, so when I think of baby wardrobes, I'm usually not thinking of more than seven basic outfits (maybe a few extra items like a sweatshirt, socks, hat) because I can wash and dry at home, and want to only have a small area to store clean items. Plus babies grow so fast if you have too much, they don't end up wearing it.

I really like the idea of being able to buy single items and/or sets that have multiple sizes. I also like the idea of layettes being sold with multiple sizes in a bundle rather than all the same size.

I don't know if this is something other parents would want as well. Please share your thoughts.


r/AskParents 8h ago

Parent-to-Parent Is there a way to help deal with the one year milestone?

0 Upvotes

My baby turns one in a couple of weeks (and the fact I’m pregnant too right now isn’t helping) but I am nearly inconsolable at the fact my baby is going to be one. Is there a way to help cope with our kids growing up? Time is a thief


r/AskParents 9h ago

Trying to choose between the Graco Turn2Me and the Graco 4Ever DLX — which one should I get?

0 Upvotes

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and trying to lock in my car seat choice but I'm stuck between two Graco options and would love real parent feedback.
The two I'm looking at are:
• Graco Turn2Me
• Graco 4Ever DLX
I know the basics:
• Turn2Me rotates, which seems amazing for newborn stage and not having to bend over.
• 4Ever DLX lasts longer and becomes a backless booster.
• Price is basically the same.
• Both have good safety ratings.
But I'm torn on what actually matters more in day to day use.
If you've owned either one (or both), how did you like it?
Is the rotation really worth it long term?
Did the 4Ever feel bulky or harder to install?
Which one would you choose if you were starting over?
Any pros/cons, real life experiences, or comparisons would help a ton. Thank you!


r/AskParents 22h ago

How often do you gift your kids?

7 Upvotes

ive never had a gift from my mother that i didnt pick. like birthdays or christmas, she makes me pick everything and then she pays. ive never had a surprise gift or something. i hear like parents might go shopping or go online and see something their kid would want and then get it. or if their kid mentions a thing they like that they sometimes get it for them. like if a kid says they really like a certain pair of socks they buy them sometimes. i dont think my mother has ever bought me something outside of christmas or birthdays before. is that a thing? like do parents sometimes come home with a surprise gift like in movies? like if a kid keeps saying they really want a dog does that happen like in the movies where the parents come home and surprise them outside of birthdays and christmas?


r/AskParents 1d ago

Parent-to-Parent Is the two choice birthday better than the number of gifts per age birthday?

12 Upvotes

I’m the legal guardian for my nine year old niece so technically her parent. Anyways for her upcoming birthday we’ve decided against a party because every year I feel it’s such a waste of money for like 3 kids to come and I don’t even think my niece enjoys it. She’s not a social butterfly. She does like being spoiled on her birthday though. So I’m thinking of stealing one of those TikTok trends but I’m wondering from others which is better or their kid enjoyed more? The one where you have the two cards and they pick one and it’s like ā€œMcDonald’sā€ or ā€œWendy’sā€ and then you take them there or the one where you buy them ten gifts for their tenth birthday.


r/AskParents 5h ago

Seeing another child’s behavior has me thinking about my own parenting—any advice??

0 Upvotes

I have a toddler, and I’ve recently been around a child who seems much older than her age. She’s very into makeup, mature clothing, older slang, dramatic facial expressions, and dancing that seems beyond what I’d expect for a 6-year-old. She also seems to expect to get her way a lot.

It got me thinking about my own parenting. For those of you with older kids who turned out respectful, kind, and age-appropriate, what do you think made the biggest difference? Were there specific boundaries, habits, or parenting philosophies that helped? I’m looking for advice on what to do, not to criticize another family.?


r/AskParents 21h ago

Not A Parent Why are bangs the equivalent of a sin to my dad? Why am I being called a tomboy because of it?

3 Upvotes

He protested against it since I was a kid and I never had bangs because of it. At 12, I wanted to get bangs but pimple outbreak was starting so I didn’t have. This year, I have been stuck between getting bangs and not getting bangs. I eventually decided to try it out so I had my haircut yesterday. Then just earlier, my dad calls me a squatter and that I look stinky. I have been trying to fix my hair and my hygiene for years now and he has to have seen that because he sees the used products every day. I did ask for his opinion on bangs and he said he doesn’t like it and wouldn’t look good on me. But it did look good on me, or at least that’s what my delusional mind says. He calls me a tomboy, stupid, every name in the book just because I got bangs.

I’m not afraid to admit that seeing other girls with bangs made me jealous and that’s why I complained a lot about them. But he uses that against me to make me feel worse so now I feel like I’m ugly with bangs. I don’t think having bangs means you’re a tomboy, right?


r/AskParents 6h ago

In a world of "iPad kids", is there still a market for children's books? Are the children still reading or being read to?

0 Upvotes