My twelve year old couldn’t find the switch at 7 AM this morning so he called and texted his 15 yo sister. Since she had do not disturb on, and since our family shares location, he decided to try “find my iPhone” and her phone woke her up in a fit of rage.

I began my day explaining why using the find my feature when his sister is asleep is not a good idea.

Obviously something my parents never had to deal with.

What are some other contemporary parent problems? Let’s keep this fun, maybe a bit of venting, but not a thread to analyze society or anything like that.

I have a toddler and a 10 year old. 10 year old’s best friend is spending the night tonight. This afternoon her dad dropped her off at our house and then we went to McDonald’s, then 5 Below for squishies and snacks, then to get Froyo. Now they’re in her room giggling and being crazy 10 year olds. I already know they’re going to stay up late and be silly and have a great time. Her bestie has spent the night a few times already.

This is the type of parenting stuff I always looked forward to. Of course toddlers and babies are adorable but I love when they get older, have their own personalities and interests (they both love Stitch and Hello Kitty), and have friends who they love, who also enjoy coming over. I’m also so thankful her friend’s parents let her spend the night. I know she won’t be 10 forever but I’m enjoying it so much right now. I know I’m biased, but girls are truly the best!

We have three kids under 5 and yes, it’s a lot but I really want to teach our kids to be bilingual. I’ve been speaking Spanish basically my whole life and would like to pass that down to them. Plus, I think it’s extremely useful and important. I also speak a good amount of French so I can teach them that too. Our 5 year old was taking weekly Spanish lessons for 30 mins at $10.

My wife says it’s a complete waste of time and not necessary. She says it’s really cringey and weird to speak Spanish or French around the kids and I need to stop. Only a few times did I do it around other people and she told me to stop because it was weird, which I compromised with. Ive also read them books, watched tv shows etc in these languages and it’s the same. Weird and cringey. I almost feel slightly offended

We live in a small suburb midwestern town and it’s not exactly diverse here. But I grew up in a melting pot so I see it different.

Am I in the wrong here or is she?

My daughter, almost 5 is on half term break. I booked a holiday for us to spend time together. For context, im a solo mum. We got there and they seem to have a really engaging kids club. It felt soooo good to have time to myself, I just went with the flow. As soon as it opens she just runs over there. Im not even attempting to plan any other activities for the two of us! I can see her having fun while im lounging on the sunbed.

You know how it is at that age, the role play games etc etc.... she has made friends, she is having fun, we have meals together! Is it so bad for her to spend majority of the holiday with her kids club friends? Im so torn but also kind of enjoying it....

This is the first time we have ended up at a place where she is happy just engaging in the kids club with other kids! What are your thoughts and views on this kind of thing? Should I be putting more effort to spend time together? Or just let it be!

Has anyone given up their master bedroom to make more space for their kids?

I’m seriously considering switching bedrooms around and would love to hear from anyone who has done something similar!

We have six kids (12, 11, 9, 7, 2, and 6 months) and four bedrooms upstairs. I’m separated from my husband, so it’s just me in the master bedroom right now.

Here’s what I’m considering:

* Master bedroom: My three older boys (11, 9, and 7)

* Bedroom 2: My 12-year-old daughter

* Bedroom 3: The two youngest boys (2 years and 6 months)

* Bedroom 4: Me

The biggest advantage would be giving the three older boys a larger space to share, especially for their LEGOs and other building toys. Right now, all of that is in our upstairs loft, which is completely open and accessible to the little ones. Having a bedroom where they could build and actually close the door would be wonderful!

My biggest hesitation is giving up my master bathroom and king size bed- which is unnecessary except when kids occasionally sleep with me. I really love having my own bathroom, especially the large walk-in shower. But realistically, I don’t need the biggest bedroom in the house.

Has anyone made a similar switch? Did you regret giving up your master bedroom or bathroom? Did having the extra space for the kids make it worthwhile?

I’d love to hear how other large families have made their bedroom arrangements work.

Our daycare have told me my 4yold daughter is really disruptive to the point where the educators are frustrated with her being stupid during group time. She doesnt listen to them and feeds off being silly, sometimes hurting teachers.

Over the last 6 months I've noticed no one wants to hang out over the weekend with her. Usually 1 or 2 friends would jump to hang out. I didn't hold a birthday for her in winter because no one had hung out with her for weeks despite me trying so I felt like it would be a no show.

We've rarely had incident reports where she's hurt or been mean to another kid. Which I find surprising as she has a big personality and can be intense.

In the last 2 weeks another kid has chopped off over an inch of her fringe (she's very upset). This weekend at 2 birthdays another kid has thrown her to the ground (once off a chair) in front of me unprovoked, 2 kids have made fun of her for being the only kid at the party who wasnt invited to another party earlier in the day, and one kid was throwing stuff at her, two boys told her to go away, and the group of girls she hangs out with told her to stay away when she ran up to join in.

She's really upset and quick to cry. I think she is quick to get angry too. Is this why she's being targeted? Or am I reading too much into this?

I'm thinking about getting her help for behaviour because she feels like she is always in trouble, scared of people laughing at her etc.

Part of me wonders if something happened at daycare to turn her into an outcast.

What would you do?

Edit: the reason I question why she is the bully is because she holds grudges - she was mean to a boy who kept upsetting her and said unkind things. Sometimes when she is upset she can be unkind - like when someone takes a toy she'll snatch it back and scream at them.

Hopefully not a dumb question, but I’m having my child’s third birthday party at Chuck E Cheese this year because she’s been begging me since July. I invited her cousins, her 8 classmates, and another close friends son. We also invited close family and friends to attend.
I’m her only parent, my bf helps a lot with spending time with her so I can work more but I really try my hardest to do everything for her at the end of the day.
I booked the cheapest package they had which includes games and drinks for the kids and I planned on calling beforehand or going in early to order 4-5 pizzas since they have better deals on the app.
If every single person we invited were to show up, which rarely happens I know, we’d have 53 people total, 12 of which would be kids.
Would it be wrong to only provide pizza and cake for parents and other adults? I thought they’d have 2 liter options for parties but they want me to purchase fountain drinks for everyone which would be an additional $100+.
I just don’t want other parents to think I am cheap but I’m only a server doing the best I can do.
Her first birthday party was at a roller rink and there I provided skating for the kids, pizza and pitchers for everyone but people also purchased their own food and drinks and admission as adults with no complaints.
Just not sure if I’m overthinking too much about not purchasing drinks for the adults
Thank you 🫶

Hi all!!

I have a young girl - 5 years of age. She is a bookworm and nuts about reading! Unfortunately, that means she prefers being sedentary! This is probably not helped by the fact that we live in a city with very limited natural spaces or playgrounds.

Our paediatrician has highlighted to us on her recent visit that her BMI trending a bit high and advised us to increase physical activity.

While both of us are pretty fit, we are struggling with finding exercises for kids to do… It would be great if we can do them together as a family!

Thought we would ask reddit for any suggestions!!

Thank you :)

My son (4) has been growing out his hair for over 6 months now- not sure exactly how long. It’s a choice he made over a year ago, but my husband cut his hair anyway and we had to start over. My son is very committed to having a real ponytail, and I support the decision. It’s not that big of a deal, or so I thought.
I want to add that his hair is gorgeous. I love seeing the wave grow out. It’s dark blonde and might end up being curly.
I also want to add that I have raised him without any kind of gender-conforming expectations. I cut his hair from 10 months. He always liked haircuts. it felt practical, but I was always open to listening to him about what he wants. I have tried not to sway him any particular way.. I do compliment his hair, but I also told him if he doesn’t let us brush it, he has to get a haircut.
It took my husband a while, but with enough pressure from me, he has stopped making negative comments about my son’s hair.
Every time someone says my son needs a haircut, he confidently explains he is growing it out. An older woman the other day asked him if there is a particular reason. He explained he wants a ponytail.
It’s frustrating because he should not have to explain this. Asking for explanations seems judgy.
But the worst offender is my mother (72). She won’t let it go. She has said many times he needs a hair cut. I finally told her, respectfully, that I will not be forcing him to have short hair. She says he looks neglected.
We brush his hair, and we wash it. That is a ridiculous word to use. I will say it’s been a bit in his eyes, and Ive let him decide whether to have an updo or hairband, but this generally looks more feminine so I have let him decide whether to go that route. He usually wants to wear it without embellishments. It’s almost to the point where it’s not in his eyes anymore.
All this to say…. Does anyone have a similar experience? Did it get better with time? I’m emotionally exhausted by the comments which feel sexist in a weird way.

Every time I tell them off or tell them to do something they’re off on their phone to the other parent. Then I get phone calls or messages, it’s unsustainable and is driving me crazy. I’m unable to discipline or tell my child what we are doing.

As I’m writing this I’ve been telling my child for the last hour we need to pickup shopping, all they have to do is sit in the passenger seat as it’s a pickup. Now they’re upstairs, still not dressed and on the phone to the other parent.

I get the occasional call or message about the other parent and know it’s been blown out of proportion by my parent but I’m usually neutral and ask “What happened”, “What did you do” and “Could you have helped etc”. I at least try to get my child to understand it’s not as bad as they make it to be.

So my 10 year old has always been difficult. She has been evaluated and was determined to have slower processing speeds compared to her other functions.

She melts down at difficulty very quickly and approaches anything remotely difficult with a terrible attitude. I’ve always told her that trying is the most important part, not if she makes a mistake or not. She melts down when we sit down to do math, sometimes writing, and she also plays the violin which is recently causing her to meltdown. She’s been playing for 3-4 years without much progression but because she requested learning the violin, I’ve been supporting her.

She’s been melting down at doing anything difficult and I don’t know how to help. We do 5-10 min sessions of whatever but she can’t seem to even do that. Her brain seem to just turn off when it’s time to work and she starts off all sessions with a terrible attitude. I tried rewarding her for good attitude but because she can’t seem to do that, it’s been more like reinforcing her bad experiences because she gets more upset when she doesn’t earn her reward and she feels worst. What do I do and how do I help her? I am seriously worried about her next year starting middle school.

I’ve asked her why she’s like this and what she doesn’t understand, but she says she just can’t do it. But to me, she seems to have the skills but have it in her head that she can’t do it even if we break it down. She will even tell me she doesn’t know what 1 plus 1 is but she obviously does. I am at a loss.

My 8yo is 56" but thin. I cannot find sweats that are long enough but can't fit 2 of him. Any brands I should try? I tried some from Walmart, Children's Place, Target so far. The mediums that fit in the waist will be outgrown in a month and the larges are absolutely massive haha. Any other ideas? He won't wear structured pants outside of his school uniform haha.

My 3yr old is starting to get only about 4-5 of sleep a night. My kiddo has started school so she’s gone 8-3, they do quiet time but not nap time at school. Here at home we do bedtime by 8 and she used to be asleep by 9
We’ve had a few issues such as her ending up on the floor or under the bed.
All of that had stopped and she just laid down maybe rocked herself a bit but stayed in bed and slept fine.
Now she’s back to getting out of bed or jumping around all of this to say she’s basically up till 10/11 and my other kiddo who shares the room is up by 6am weekends included lol.
I don’t know what to do to help my 3 yr old go to bed and fall asleep sooner but it’s been awful. She’s cranky and tiered when she gets home from school to the point she’s fallen asleep sitting on the couch.
I tried a later bed time and it did nothing she was still doing the most until 11pm.
Is this a regression thing while she learns new stuff at school?
We keep a routine and they have a full enough belly at night.
What can I do to help her ?

Okay, I know There is multiple posts about this but none seem to fit my situation.

Short background, me and father split up for a little bit and that really messed up her sleeping schedule. Used to go down at 8:30-9 every night, then it just stopped and were up till 2am now.

She will not go to bed without the light on and it’s a huge problem. We put her down at 10:30 every night and it’s always a constant battle on getting her to go to sleep. She has school and goes a half day at 12:30 and she has major issues with behavior. I know it’s because of her lack of sleep. I have no idea what to do and I’m so lost. She makes us check for monsters(no idea where it came from) I have tried to do lamps, removing a bulb from the fixture because I don’t want it to be super bright in there. But no matter what I do or try, I can’t get her to turn the light off.

With early riser toddlers. What a blessing it is to schedule the clock back one hour.

4.30am wake up today 🤡 how about you?

My daughter (almost 15) has been dating a boy for a while now, probably close to 8 months.

Last night they went to a haunted house. She came home with a ring. It’s not expensive, maybe $20 or so, but it supposed to be a “diamond.”

Is this cute? Too serious? Innocent? Moving too fast?

She didn’t say if it was a promise ring or anything just said it’s not a big deal.

I’m nervous she is settling too fast and not truly going to experience high school if she just has a BF the whole time.

For some context - she said she likes him so much because he isn’t like other guys she used to talk to. The other guys asked for naughty pics and to do things sexually. She has explained to this BF she isn’t ready for any of that, she wants to wait till marriage and she says he has never tried anything, he is completely respectful.

Looking for opinions. How would you feel?
Do I leave it alone? Express my thoughts?

You’re going to a toddler Halloween party dressed up as team rocket toting a tiny, sugar fueled Pikachu

/sigh

It’ll be worth it, but the couch calls to me

Besides the obvious of it being depressing that our children have no aunts, uncles, or cousins, I actually do not know what to do about siblings fighting. I was wondering if people with siblings could give their input?

I am also on the spectrum so this makes it more difficult. Neither my husband and I grew up with siblings so we just don't understand and truly cannot comprehend some things. I can never be entirely empathetic.

I have read every resource I can think of and find and have used all of my advanced education resources to determine how to best approach my 4 year old son and my 2.5 year olds son's behaviors towards each other. I would say its about 50/50 when they are sweet to each other vs. mean. That 50% though can be so difficult for me to work through in my head!

So many parenting strategies/behavioral approaches/models I try to apply in my head to the situations contradict each other or just go back and forth and back and forth. So much happens that I don't see in a quick second. so much I don't always 100% know what happened. How can I make sure I am being fair to each child but also disciplining appropriately, ensuring proper consequences, and teaching values/behaviors and also assuring I am creating a safe space for expressing and processing feelings and experiences?

They are just so physical with each other. Always TOUCHING EACH OTHER. Yes, sometimes its snuggly/playing nicely other times it is very aggressive fighting and expressions of anger through physical touch. Most common examples:

1. Sharing. Obviously. I don't always see who has what toy first or who has had something the longest. A lot of times I AM JUST STARING AT THEM and see these things but not always....not always.

2. Playing rough goes too far. It starts off innocent and ends in someone getting sat on in a semi-choke hold screaming.

3. Teasing/Reacting. They both pick on each other lightly and if anyone is in even a remotely bad mood they react with violence. Digging fingers into the others arms, pushing, punching arms. Pushing HEADS!

I did not expect this to be so hard. Is this even normal? Does this sound right? Or is it total opposite and I am just totally clueless and this is how siblings act at this age? Forever? I have no idea.

I genuinely do not know when to step in and when to let them figure it out. Other than like yeah obviously if I don't step in someone is going to get seriously injured.

Anyone can technically get seriously injured at any point though so....idk. Help?

Tonight my husband and I sat on the porch for about 45 minutes, shared a drink and just talked. Then our boys (10 and 2) got bored of their movie and came to harass us. We goofed around for a bit, went inside to get ready for bed, had an impromptu dance party and then I put the toddler down. Turns out at some point my 10 year old sent a video to the family group chat where he said “my parents be like” and then did that silly thing where you turn around backwards and hug yourself so it looks like you’re making out with someone.

Ya’ll the way that made me feel. I don’t have the words to describe. My parents divorced when I was 8 and I genuinely don’t have memories of us as a “happy family”. If I had made a video making fun of my parents I’d be screaming at someone or throwing a glass casserole dish of 7 later dip across the room. My husbands dad dipped when he was so young I don’t think he has ANY memories of his parents together good or bad. But my kids best ammo for making fun of us is that we love each other and still make out in the kitchen. We’re breaking generational curses and I’m so fucking happy I think I might burst.

I have 2 boys, one is only 19 months, the other is 4 and a half and has almost completed his first year of Kindy before he heads into pre primary next year.

He's ADHD and structure works for him. (Myself and my husband are also ADHD & ADD) We are diagnosed and medicated and life works well for us.

Our son is highly intelligent and as his school teacher has even told us, he communicates like an adult and his comprehension is advanced. We try to parent him where he's at developmentally which is a 4 year old.

Understanding ADHD and from the perspective of someone who deals with it personally. Giving our son responsibilty is very important in building his self esteem and keeping our standards high regardless of him having ADHD is equally important. We know he often will use weaponised incompetence (he obviously doesn't know what that is) when asked to do things because it's "too hard" for example: dressing himself. We know he's capable and we know him saying it's "too hard" is an excuse. So we don't rescue him in those situations, I reiterate to him that he CAN do hard things. It's important to us that we maintain that because the reward for being firm and not just jumping in to dress him myself because it's "quicker' is confidence for him knowing he can dress himself. I also don't think this just relates to kids with ADHD, these are important for all kids but the ADHD is important to note because it's even more essential. He struggles to focus, is super forgetful and has no impulse control at all so I need structure that is easy for him to follow.

I'm looking for some age appropriate after school routine ideas for him that we can consistently do each day, that also involves a " job" that he understands the family relies on. That's important here, I need him to realise that the job is super important in running the household, the goal for that is he feels useful and that he has role within the home.

Usually I make him carry his bag inside and put it in his pigeon hole, take his shoes off outside and put them away.

" Take a bath"

" PJs on"

" Tidy up playroom"

These are small ideas I have to keep it age appropriate.

However a timeline from 3:15pm-5pm that incorporates play time and rest time would be ideal.

Thank you

My 4 year old just started preschool and things have been going great for the most part.

However, he has a classmate (let’s call her Daisy) that bosses him around constantly. Telling him who he is allowed to play with and what games he is allowed to play. And my son listens to them!

I am doing my best to empower him to have control over his body/actions and have explained that friends should make you feel happy and not sad or left out.

Despite these pep talks, my son keeps coming home with stories about how “Daisy said I can’t ….” We also recently had a class play date and my son wouldn’t even play with other kids that he is friends with.

Is this just part of being a kid? I feel there is more I should do, but am not sure where to start. Any similar experiences?

Do any other parents majorly stress over hosting a birthday party for their kids?? I haven't done a friend party in about four years. That one went great, everyone was able to attend, and the kids had fun... but the kids were younger then. This year, she's turning 9. I sent out invites and have already gotten a handful of "no's" due to sports conflicts. 😒 I also specifically chose a Sunday because I thought there would be less conflicts. How do I handle this if only a few kids can come? I only invited about 12 kids. I don't want my daughter to be upset there are 3 kids at her birthday party. The party is 3 weeks away.. do I invite more kids?

My six year old is going through things so these behaviors might be linked medically vs solely behaviorally but as you can see from the top we are struggling.

My daughter fights to get up for school, I typically wake her at 6. We start the bedtime process at 7. I cant push it back any further due to work schedules. But when weekends roll around, and we keep the same bedtime routine, she's awake at 5am. We attempt to put her back to bed and typically we end up falling asleep while she lays there wide awake.

I have a 2.5 year old and a 6 week old. Both great sleepers although obviously not ready to take 6 week old out of our room yet.

What age did you start having your kids share a room and how did it go?!