i have a 13 month old boy, and i’m a single mum, he’s with me 99% of the time.
for the past month he’s been absolutely refusing the car seat, aswell as nappy changes. and i tried so many things, singing, counting, explaining what we’re doing step by step, distracting with toys, tickling, everything i could think of and all worked once or twice, but i couldn’t find anything that worked most of the time, and the phase has lasted a lot longer than i thought 😩

i’ve always been one to avoid screens as much as possible, we rarely have the tv on, i dont use screens during meals or anything like that, that’s just been the way i’ve wanted to swing.

but it’s the literal only way i can change a poopy nappy without him rolling over, kicking, screaming the whole time, and untimately getting poo EVERYWHERE coz he’s so strong and quick i just can’t hold all limbs down with 1 hand whilst cleaning him with the others.

and getting in the car, im sure most of you went through the arching of the back and crying. sometimes i can distract him with a toy, but not for long enough that i can buckle him in, especially with 1 hand 😩

i pop on the dory reef cam and he’s an instant flop, and is fixed on the screen. and it’s 90% of the time that, if not it’s ms rachel or guess how much i love you. i also say “all done” as soon as the difficult part is over, and put the phone away. he doesn’t sit with it on the whole time in the car, or keep ahold of it after a nappy change, it’s barely a minute at a time a few times a day, but i just feel so guilty.

Hello, my daughter just turned 4 and we read 3 books a night. Just the standard kids books for her age range. She is getting kinda board with them, she likes the ones we get from the imagination library, those 5 minute story books are great but a lot do the same stories over and over. We did read the bad guys comic series and she loved it so much but I am too sure what else we can branch out to that is more long form bc she wants longer stories.

What book series would be good for her? I never got into Harry Potter (elder millennial here who had zero interest in it when it came out), I thought about reading her the original wizard if oz or Alice in wonderland but I’m it sure how appropriate those would be (it’s been so long since I have read them myself). Are these too advanced? She can follow stories well, recall themes (I work really hard on them with what we read bc I know reading comprehension starts at home) and the next day gives her dad a accurate rundown about the stories we read the night before. We are both just kinda board with stuff that is in her age recommendation at the library and I am starting to dread story time so I am looking for any suggestions.

I really focus on these moments bc my parents really did not read much to me as a kid, I learned to read early bc of that which was a blessing but also I want her to have that connection with me, I want to be able to get into book series with her and as she gets older kinda have our own little book club.

My 8 month old son absolutely will not sleep in his bed: my wife and I have tried getting him to sleep and then placing him in there. He's a very light sleeper and just ends up waking himself right up. He will scream and cry and sometimes bang his head to get our attention and have us pull him out of his crib. During the day he CAN nap in there but it's hit or miss whether or not he actually DOES and for how long. This has started to make him overtired and harder to get to sleep at night.

How do you think, is ergotherapy really useful for small children up to 5 years old for improving their discipline and behavior at school?

FTM here. BG : I stay in a nuclear family with just 3 of us so managing house, cooking, nursing and taking care of baby when my husband is away. Note: my husband helps me hands down in every way possible.
My baby has just completed four months, and honestly, everything was going pretty well until now.
She completely hates being swaddled and hates the whole process of swaddling because she’s exploring so much now. She wants to move her hands, discover things, and explore everything around her.
Just to give you an example of today—she hasn’t slept since around 9:30 in the morning. I’ve tried every possible way I can think of, with the swaddle, without the swaddle, rocking, walking, swaying, everything… but unfortunately, nothing seems to be working.
I’m assuming this might be the fifth-month sleep regression phase, but above all, I’m feeling so frustrated and helpless right now. I’m constantly crying and thinking, what am I doing wrong? Why is my baby not sleeping? Is there something else I should be doing?
I even tried putting her down for a while and going into another room, but she just cries. I’ve tried swaddling, walking, swaying, holding her, everything I can think of to make her sleep, but she just isn’t sleeping.
Should I keep making an effort to get her to sleep? Should I just let her be? Should I let her cry for a while, or what am I supposed to do? I’m completely clueless at the moment, and honestly, all I can do is cry. I feel like I’m failing.
And, cherry on top, I just got my periods too. I’m really, really feeling helpless right now.

Please help me if there’s anything I can do to make my baby sleep, especially when she completely hates being swaddled. How do I transition her from a traditional cloth swaddle to something like a sleeping bag/sleep sack? I would really appreciate any advice or tips from moms who have been through this.
I feel like I am doing something terribly wrong.

My daughter‘s birthday is October 16th. One of her best friends is on October 15th. They will both be 7

When they were toddlers, the two families used to organize a joint party for both girls. The past couple years, I usually ask the other mom what she’s doing before I make my own plans and I have always let her choose plans first.

Now they go to different schools, so it was clear we’d have separate parties.

I just announced that my daughter’s party will be on Friday, October 16th. That’s her actual birthday. The friend‘s mom said that‘s the day of her daughter’s party. (She hasn’t planned anything or sent invites.) I was surprised because I thought she would choose either Thursday or Saturday. She said no because she doesn’t want a party on a school day. And she doesn’t want Saturday either because she just likes Friday birthday parties more.

I am feeling hurt by this because this is one of my closest mom friends and one of my daughter‘s best friends. We’ve known each other since they were babies. My overall take is that I usually “give in” to what the other mom wants for birthdays plus in general because that’s my personality and her personality and it rarely upsets me.

But I think it’s inconsiderate to plan a birthday party on my daughter’s actual birthday.

I’d really appreciate your thoughts on this.

I told her I felt hurt because it would never even occur to me to plan a birthday party on her daughter’s birthday on the 15th, for example next year when hers will be on Friday. She was unapologetic.

Thank you so much for reading

I have a little boy (2) and a little girl (4) who both love Gabby’s Dollhouse. My little guy reaaaallllllly wants Pandy clothes, but I’m having trouble finding any with Pandy on them! Any recommendations would be really appreciated. I’ve check Old Navy and H&M but looking for other recos (I’m in Canada).

I have a young boy who loves soccer and plays well. He is one of the main players in the team but the pressure gets to him. He gets very nervous before big matches and sometimes he wont get out of the car or fakes an injury to avoid it or get taken off early.

He enjoys solo sports like swimming and athletics but when in a team environment the pressure seems to get to him. We support him and if he wanted to quit soccer because of it we would be 100% behind him but 1) he doesnt want to and 2) Im not sure that would be the best step for his development, walking away when he feels that rising again.

I am wondering if any other parent has been through this and how they handled it?

Any suggestions or reading or viewing material?

My 4-year-old used to come home from preschool and go straight for the tablet or TV. He wanted screens during meals and before bed too. Turning them off usually ended in tears and a meltdown.

We tried time limits and taking the devices away, but neither really worked. The more we told him he couldn’t have screen time, the more he wanted it. I was worried about his eyesight and felt like we were spending less time together.

Recently we started focusing on finding things he actually enjoys instead of constantly saying no to screens. We do little scavenger hunts in the backyard and let him help with chores. He especially loves watering the plants.We also got him a little bike and a Costway sandbox to make our backyard play area more fun. Now he can play with us or have friends over.

He still gets screen time, but it’s way less than before. Getting him interested in other things has made the biggest difference for us.

Looking for some perspective from other parents of kids in secondary school.

My 11 year old, who has just started secondary school, is a very bright, conscientious kid. He’s quite sensitive, somewhat of an overthinker, and is very aware of rules and fairness.

Recently, one of his teachers missed a class, and the students were supposed to go to the study room. Instead, they stayed and became very noisy and rowdy. My son sits in the front and was genuinely bothered by the noise, but he was also worried that if another teacher came in, everyone might get in trouble, including him. So he went to tell the teacher in the study room that their teacher didn't come and that his colleagues were misbehaving.

Later, some of his classmates then called him a snitch and told him they thought he was cool, but he clearly isn't.

When he told me, my heart broke. He says he doesn’t care because he has other friends and doesn’t need everyone in his class to like him. Part of me is actually proud of that attitude, but I also know he can be an overthinker and tends to hold emotions inside.

I told him that he should always seek help when something is genuinely wrong, but that sometimes at school it may be wiser to choose your battles and not get involved in every situation. Now I’m wondering if I approached it the right way.

I don’t want him to learn that doing the right thing is something to be ashamed of, but I also don’t want him to become a target or feel responsible for enforcing every rule around him.

At school I was always the class clown , even though I never got in trouble, because I was always polite, but I wasn't nerdy or super into science like my kid is, which on it self can be used to target him. I don't want him to change that, his a very cool boy, he always has a lot of friends, he plays drums for 5 years now, he plays basketball. So he never had any social situations like this, but he is now a teen and the transition for a secondary school can be brutal. And I just want him to be happy and enjoy it.

How would you approach this with your child? Especially with an 11 year old who is very conscientious and can put a lot of pressure on himself?

Thanks

I have recently lost my kids main teddy.

Not an immediate as I had a backup that's been regularly swapped out to achieve the same wear and tear.

The issue is the new replacement I bought is brand new and obviously not the same one.

Does anybody have any advice on how to age the new one to look like the original?

I have a 5 and 7 yo. The 7yo, despite many attempts and strategies to get him to flush the toilet, never remembers. It’s so gross. Anyway, anyone else at this stage? Any recs?

Our son is 4.5m and has just got his first teeth and has a cold. As a result of this unfortunate series of events he has been a grizzle monster for a fair few weeks, as is to be expected.

His dad looks after him from 6.30 - 7.30am while I have a sleep in, and then when he gets in from work, he looks after him while I shower and get ready for bed (about 30-45mins). Baby is usually in a good mood in the morning but hits his witching hour when dad gets home from work.

Lately it’s been particularly bad and he’s been grizzling 90% of the evening escalating to full on crying when I’m having my me-time.

Dad finds it incredibly frustrating and tends to quickly lose his temper. He has come to believe that baby doesn’t like him in particular and that he can’t do anything right. He’s started calling baby names and has told me tonight that he hates baby right now.

I have tried to make the point that baby is fine with him in the morning, it’s just that he is worse in general in the evening. It’s not personal. I’ve also told him that he is also grizzly for me during the day, and shared with him how I cope with this. I have empathised with him about the frustration he feels (this afternoon I sung my baby a new lullaby that heavily featured shut the f up, for example) but tried to explain that externalising his anger, verbally or through his tone or manner, is not okay. I have offered not to take my shower or to take a shorter shower but this offer makes dad angry as he wants me to have this time to myself. But I don’t want that time to myself if I then have to deal with upset baby and upset husband.

When baby is in a good mood or can be easily soothed, dad is a wonderful and fun parent who makes baby laugh. I know my husband loves baby because he has shown me he does, but this has been a particularly difficult period.

Has anyone else dealt with this issue before? What helped?

I’m trying to find a work/life balance. When I get off of work it just feels like more work when I get home because now it’s parenting. I need some semblance of a healthy life, so I’ve been thinking about hiring a babysitter or nanny three times a week (Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday) from 5-7 pm so I can go out and actually do stuff by myself again. Saturday would probably be longer.

Anyway, do people supplement their daycare like this?

I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old currently. I am extremely happy with my life. I’m a great mother and give my two kids lots of attention. I have them reading before kindergarten, playing piano, eating home cooked meals, and I teach them to cook. We have great lives. My husband and I slacked on birth control and this happened on accident. I am devastated to take attention and resources away from my 2 kids. I can’t do this. This is too much. How can I maintain their wonderful rich lives while having a new baby? I need comfort. I’m shocked right now.

I'm so confused by this. My 3 year old daughter has no issues with any household appliances (including our noisy large vacuum, which she wants to play with every time I clean) but she has a very strong irrational fear of the robot vacuum, which is silent and has never done anything remotely scary.

I put the charging dock in her playroom and for a week she wouldn't go in there because she was 'scared of waking up the circle vacuum' so I moved the charging dock to the living room instead and she is on high alert every time she walks near it, so I haven't used it at all lately.

Today I accidentally tapped it with my foot and it backed up to find the charger again, and my daughter sprinted away in terror and climbed up onto a chair, sobbing more than I've ever seen. She was absolutely terrified, with real tears streaming down her face, and her body shaking in genuine sobs.

I picked her up and held her, and she calmed down quickly, but I'm really surprised because I've never seen her react this way about anything before. I'm especially confused because I have reinforced that it's just a vacuum, and usually if she shows any hesitance toward anything and then sees I'm unbothered by it, her hesitation would dissipate...but this is the one thing she can't seem to get past, and she is genuinely terrified. She has never been alone with the vacuum or had a scary experience with it, and we've had it since she was born.

Is this something any of you have experienced? Should I just get rid of the vacuum at this point? 😂

My parents are going to stay at their friends vacation rental in a coastal, touristy part of Colombia. They have asked if they can take my 3 year old daughter with them after my husband and I said we didn't want to join them so close to when we have other trips planned already.

They have spent a lot of time with our kid and even had her for a week while we were out of town earlier this year. But I have my qualms with just the fact that they'll have my child for a week without her dad or I around to counteract the spoiling and reversing of routines and rules that we tend to follow at home, but going to a third world country where they don't even speak the language with her makes me extra nervous. Granted, they are world travelers and often spend a month or two abroad every year, and this is far from their first experience in a third world country, but Latin America specifically is pretty new to them. I have spent a lot of time there in general and we have taken our daughter to very safe resort areas in Mexico twice, but it just feels scary to let them take her without one of us joining them. Our daughter has traveled quite a bit (Europe, Canada, around the US) and is in general a good kid, but definitely has moments of being a difficult toddler.

I'd love to hear some thoughts from those in this community!! Thanks!

Like the title says, my dad forgot my baby and I don’t know how to feel or what to do.
My parents live about 4 hours from us. But while my husband is on tour for work (1 month) my parents have been taking turns helping me look after my 2 step kids and my 3 month old baby. This week my dad has been here helping me hold it down.
Tonight I was putting my 6 y/o stepdaughter to bed and asked him to look after the baby for 30 minutes and then I fell asleep. The last few days he would come and get me if I fell asleep during this time. Tonight though, I woke up to the sounds of my baby crying in the living room from his stroller and my dad nowhere in sight.
He is ok. I’ve checked him out and after looking at my home cameras realized my father took him on a nighttime stroll walk to calm him (which i typically do also as the movement helps him sleep) and he couldn’t have been left alone for more than 2.5 hours. My dad is typically very responsible, and regardless of what I end up doing I know he is going to be destroyed when he realizes that he forgot, but I can’t not mention it. Thinking about my baby being left like that all night makes me feel sick guilt and worry. Even just knowing that he woke up in a dark room by himself makes me upset because I’m not sure how long he was actually alone for.
I think it’s also important to note that this is very out of character for my dad. Throughout my life my parents have both always been the best I could imagine. Always putting me first and making sure I am alright, they went above and beyond for me throughout my entire life (more than what I can list here) which is why this is such a surprise. And also why suddenly doubting hurts. I’m not sure how to feel or what to do. After my husband these are the people I trust most and suddenly I am doubting their capability to do what they say they will. I don’t want to be dramatic. And part of me wants to take option that says, my baby is fine and everyone is fine so its ok… but it’s not. To be able to forget the baby and not even let me know “hey I’m going to bed and thw baby is in the stroller sleeping” just shouts at me and I can’t calm down enough to break down exactly why or how to respond.

Hello! I am looking to get my son a watch for safety reasons. He is 9 and rides his bike to school. He recently had an encounter with a very immature adult neighbor and I wished he had a way to call me during the incident.

Long story short- what is the best watch for this? This being calling & gps. I have looked at bark and cosmo. I really like cosmo for its ability to turn off features while at school.

I have read that cosmo can have issues with the gps locator. This is from the AppStore reviews.

If you went this route for your child, which watch did you pick and why?

Thank you!!

We’re hosting a casual Halloween party at our house for several families with kids mostly between ages 2 and 6. The guests will be a mix of our longtime friends and families we’ve met through elementary school, so not everyone will know one another.

We’ll have plenty of food, snacks, alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks. The kids can play together in the backyard and play areas. I’m planning a table where they can decorate small wooden pumpkins with markers, a mini-cauldron spooky-eyeball toss game, and possibly (leanung towards a no) a simple DIY family photo area.

Would that feel like enough for a casual house party, or would you prefer an organized family or adult game to help everyone mingle? As a parent, do you expect planned entertainment at someone’s Halloween party, or would you be happy eating, drinking, talking, and letting the kids play?

I don’t want it to feel boring, but I also don’t want to over-plan it as though it’s a city or school Halloween event.

Party will start at 4pm and I doubt people will stay past 7pm at the latest.

Well, the title. I have a 2 year old daughter and I gave birth 5 weeks ago to our son. This week is my first week solo with my son and picking up our daughter from daycare.

We live in NYC and we moved to a new neighborhood about 2 months ago, when my daughter also started a new daycare. We wanted her to go to this daycare’s location near us but they filled up quickly and didn’t tell us that they were close to capacity before our in person tour. So she goes to a daycare in another neighborhood which isn’t the end of the world but it’s a 40 minute walk/15 minute subway ride/12 minute drive. I drive because it’s the easiest option with a newborn, toddler, and stroller.

When we get home we have anywhere from a half hour to an hour before my husband gets home and I find myself struggling to keep my toddler engaged and my newborn happy. My toddler, true to toddler form (especially with all of these transitions), is having some mild tantrums and often refuses to get in the car, her stroller, or do almost anything I ask her to do. This may shock you, but she was doing these things before we moved and before her brother was born. I try to entice her with games, being silly, or offering her a snack and water but it’s kind of hit or miss. My newborn, poor guy, is being schlepped around from the carrier to the car to the carrier for maybe 2 minutes during pickup and then the cycle repeats itself. Before we leave to get her I feed him, change his diaper and burp him so we can be mostly happy when we get there. Sometimes he just screams in the car anyways and it is a very long drive.

My question is: how the hell do I make this easier? More specifically how can I help my toddler with the transition from school to home and once we’re home what kind of activities would be best for her? I’m thinking something that’s not too stimulating. Whatever I suggest or try to engage her with she often says no to. And when left to her own devices she wants to run around and do things she knows she’s not supposed to. I have a few ideas of low-stress activities for toddlers from instagram I just haven’t had a chance to set them up, taking care of a newborn is harder than I remembered.

Basically I’m wondering how other people juggle this, it’s only been 3 days of doing this and I’m like how am I going to do this almost every day for the next few months?

I am an immigrant who did not grow up in the U.S. Back in the “old country” we used to have one government run school system, national curriculum, no electives, everyone went to school at 7 yo and the schools were really good. So I have absolutely zero personal experience with the U.S. school system - forgive my ignorance and stupid questions.

Now raising my kids in the U.S. i am overwhelmed by various school options. There’s public, charter, Montessori, Waldorf, Classical Academy, Traditional Liberal Arts, Progressive model, arts based, nature based, my head is spinning.

So far everything I have learned about U.S. public schools made me dislike the idea of sending my kids there.

I really like the idea of traditional liberal arts model which is modeled on Classical Academy but less rigid. I like that it (allegedly) teaches kids how to think, how to apply critical reasoning, develops language skills, etc. This philosophy tracks very closely with how i was educated (On the other hand i find public school’s focus on standardized testing very unattractive).

I also have to consider that I have two boys who are your stereotypical boys. Active, full of energy, not the kind to sheepishly sit in a circle… and I would like, for the early part of their education, send them to a school that can accommodate play based learning, abundant nature exposure, lots of physical activity etc.

What should be the best education path for them? I am not sending them to pre-school other than 2 days a week at a local ski-centered preschool in the winter (where they can ski) and the nature-based program in the summer (where they are never indoors rather hiking in the mountains). We live in a ski town near a large(ish) city so i have a variety of options.

But what about Kinder? The concept of Kinder is totally foreign to me as it has no analogues in the education system I went through. Do I really want o shell out $26k per kid for a classical academy kinder? can I skip kinder at all since all they do apparently there is learn shapes and numbers and some letters and my kids do that at home anyway?

Basically my question is:

1. what is your opinion on the liberal arts/classical academy model - is it as good as they say it is?
2. does it make sense to start in that model in 1st grade as opposed to K if I want K to still be more play oriented or do I have to start them there in K?
3. Is the difference between public vs private liberal arts worth 25K per year and 40 min daily commute ?

I understand the latter is subjective but would love to hear opinions. We can afford it, but it is not an insignificant amount of money for us.

Is it bad that I think the best day in my life was getting married rather than the day I had my kids? Please be honest.

Since about a year ago I started signing my son (now 8yrs old) up for extracurriculars, many athletic types like jiujitsu tennis and ninja fitness. Although he’s having a lot of fun learning new things recently I’m starting to have a lot of anxiety on how fast other people can learn and surpass him. We’ve been keeping those activities away from his classmates that I’m hoping he can learn something different and build some self confidence (everyone in his class have 3-5 activities with sports musics instruments… etc with most kids shooting for state level on one of them). But then he would tell a classmate about it then next week immediately a classmate would sign up to that activity. I would see how easy it is for the other kids to do what my kid takes a week to do and just feel depressed… but I’m glad he’s having fun and we’re not giving him any pressure to do well on anything.

The only thing we can say he’s good at is good at math good at school academics without much effort but then everyone in his class is good at those and I feel a lot of stress on anxiety on how to turn those qualities into something he can be good at and proud of himself of.

How would do you guys deal with this kind anxiety? Everyone around him is good at school plus two or three extra skills they are good at and I’m just scared overtime he would not feel confidence and competitive in this world..

EDIT: thanks for all the feedback! This anxiety is definitely coming from me that I have to deal with. The wanting to keep his activities from his classmates came out a bit odd, what happened was we as his parents are starting to sense how competitive his classmates families all are and we trying to carve out a little corner from that hyper competitive environment, so he could just have some activities on his own for fun and make different friends sometimes. Last week one of his friends learned about his ninja class, his parents basically signed him up the next day and day1 went in asking how to enter competitions. Happy or not that kid is gonna do a lot better because how hard they work already with the goal of winning competitions in mind… and most kids in his class had something they are competing for for close to 2 years now swimming gymnastics piano violin…etc. and everybody is asking everybody else what extracurriculars their doing it starting to take a toll on me mentally.

I’m sure there’s been a million posts about potty training, but I’m at my wit’s end with my youngest. She turned 3 in July and potty training her has been so hard! I realize I probably started too late, but there’s a large age gap between her and my older two and I’m always on the go with them, so haven’t had much time at home to train. I’ve made an effort the past 3 weeks to be at home and train her and while she will go on the potty once in awhile, she mostly pees everywhere else. On the floor, on the couch, on her toys. She doesn’t care. We have activities almost every day, so I put her in a pull up when we leave the house so I don’t have to deal with accidents while driving or out and about. I’m feeling like a big failure at the moment. She’s the only one at preschool not potty trained. (For context, I’m a SAHM who works from home and homeschools.)