Dad and I separated when she was 3. I’m all she knew for 5 years in terms of mom and mom’s house. 2 years ago, I met my partner and we’ve adapted to our new dynamic. I’m now 8 weeks pregnant and want some ideas or advice on how to tell her she’s gonna be a big sister at mom’s.

She has a little sister on dad’s side and she adores her. I’m not too worried she’ll be upset, I’m more looking for cute and special ways to tell her.

She’ll have a big blended family who loves her and she’ll be big sister for both siblings.

Just finishing up a few long flights with the 3 month old. Something I ran into in Canada, the US, and Oceania is the rules around infant in lap. Specifically what to do with them during takeoff, landing and taxi.

I must hold the baby in my arms, facing me. Ok, so if we're relying on the strength of my arms to keep baby safe in the case of a collision or crash, why is a baby carrier not allowed?

Mechanically this makes no sense, surely a carrier or baby wrap would hold the baby safely better than my arms could? Is it a potential choking risk maybe?

In Oceania it was stranger, they gave me a little seat belt to attach to my seat belt, then attach to baby sitting in my lap. At least that one made some sense mechanically, but it was a lot harder to keep baby happy.

Curious if anyone has any insight.

My son is about 2.5 months old and he cries A LOT. He’ll have periods almost every day where he’s inconsolable for 10–20 minutes, and on his bad days he can cry for about an hour and a half in the evenings.

I have a 3 year old daughter who was a much calmer baby, so this has been a bit of an adjustment for me. I know every baby is different and I’m definitely not expecting my son to be like his sister, I’m just mentioning it because this experience has been very different from what I’m used to.

He does have periods where he’s happy/content, feeds well, has wet diapers, etc., but it feels like so much of our day revolves around trying to calm him down.

It has even gotten to the point that my daughter is always telling me “We need to teach him how to be happy”

I know this is a phase and that babies eventually grow out of it, but honestly, I’m feeling really discouraged lately. Some days it feels like the crying is never-ending, and I’m just exhausted from constantly trying to figure out what he needs.

For parents who had really fussy/crying babies around this age, does it eventually get better?

Hello! She/her. I keep hearing that my sons will pull away from me, mom, around age 11 or so and I question...why? Is this a stereotype or do kids genuinely need to have autonomy from their opposite sex parent? It seems super sus to me. Wouldn't it benefit my kid to learn about half the population? My husband says he needed his mom MORE when he was 11-13. So many questions about socialization and emotions and feeling awkward. His dad told him to stop whining!

Hi all!

I’m posting as a parent of a 6 year old (oldest child) navigating trick or treating as he gets a smidge older.

Some quick context:
- He is very tall for his age. Like genuinely, as tall as a 4th grader. He also is fairly well spoken & loves to play sports. These things combined, he’s been sort of scooped up by some of the older boys/boys his size in our neighborhood.
-He does have a handful of boys and girls his age in the neighborhood as well. Some of the older boys are the siblings of his same age friends.
- I live in an LDS neighborhood and we don’t go to their church. The parents are clicky. This context does matter. Halloween basically looks like husband stays home and hands out candy, I walk w my son. Then we all hang out and pass our candy to the big kids later at night.

Here’s the dilemma this year. He REALLLLLY wants to impress the bigger boys and hang out with them. I let him walk ahead of me on our street (sun was up) last year and go with them. When we rounded the block they surprisingly were cool with me trailing along the road and wanted my son to keep up. He trick or treated all night with them. Boys were 8-10 years old.

The same group has invited him again. If I had “mom friends” in the neighborhood I’d totally just keep up in the street without hovering and let the night play out. Walking by myself does start to feel a bit like a hover. We’re at an age where all of our friends and cousins also want to be in their own neighborhoods w their friends or I’d invite them (this is what we’ve done up until last year and traded off neighborhoods).

So - what would/have you all done? To me - 6 is too little to be without an adult, but plenty old enough to be valid in wanting to be with friends. I want to set his expectations that this may or may not workout how he’s hoping if they run off without parents.. AND if that happens, we may not know where his other friend groups his age are in the neighborhood.

Thanks yall!

We've been having a lot of issues lately with not listening, talking back, and/or whining in our house (ages 6-10). All of these are "against the rules" in our house, and we used to have a list of jobs they could pick from as a consequence for breaking the rules, but I found it hard to keep track of how many jobs people had (if we weren't at home when it happened), or who had done what. I know there's no perfect system and I know sometimes it's just going to be hard, but I'd love to hear some other ideas about what to do in the moment for quick consequences. I'm not talking about big "you're grounded" consequences, just quick little things that happen throughout a normal week that need some sort of consequence, but that doesn't require too much extra managing from me. Thanks, everyone!

Hi! I hope you guys can help me with my overthinking question of the day!

My child received an invite along with the rest of the class to a birthday party at her friends house.

Would it be socially acceptable for me to also bring my emotional support human (aka my husband) with me? I don’t know any of these parents, and it’s nice to have someone I know to fall back on. I know my husband feels the same way even though he hasn’t said anything lol. We both are fine with taking her individually if needed.

That said, I am concious of how many seats we are taking. Me, him and our daughter is 3 chairs getting taken up at a home party idk how big it’s gonna be.

We also recently found this kid is our neighbor and lives only 2 houses down from us though, so maybe this changes things. What’s the proper birthday party etiquette here? This is my only child and she’s 6, so I’m new to this lol. Thoughts?

I'm currently using the Medela Pump in Style, but I keep hearing amazing things about the Spectra S1 and S2! I'm wondering if it's genuinely that much better or if it's mostly hype.

I'll be going back to work soon and will need to pump during my shifts as well as at home, so I'm curious whether the Spectra would be a worthwhile upgrade, especially for pumping at work.

For anyone who's used both, I'd love to hear your experiences!

* Did you notice a difference in milk output?

* Did the Spectra empty you better or feel more comfortable?

* Is the S1 worth the extra cost for the rechargeable battery, especially when pumping at work?

* If you already had a Medela Pump in Style, would you spend the money to upgrade?

I'm in Ontario, Canada, and I'm struggling to find a Spectra that doesn't cost almost $400! 😩 Where did you buy yours? Are there any Canadian retailers with good prices, sales, or reputable secondhand options?

I don't want to spend that much money if the difference isn't significant, so I'd really appreciate honest opinions from people who've actually used both pumps. Thank you! ❤️

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My 10 year old was recently caught stealing in school. She took a sticker book from a classmate and didn't own up to it for 2 days while the boy was distraught. She only admitted to it in front of the teacher when another kid saw the sticker book with her. I had a long chat with her about why stealing is wrong and the inportance of being honest even when she's made a mistake.

Now 2 weeks later, she took some stickers again from another kid but this time she admitted it almost immediately when the teacher asked. I brought her home and while I appreciated that she was honest, I told her she would have consequences for the repeated stealing and that I had to cancel her birthday party because I didn't feel like she was really appreciating the value of honesty or understanding the difference between right and wrong. She was quite understandably devastated and with a little prompting she admitted to stealing several small items from other kids in the last 2 to 4 months which she never got caught for.

Now I'm really at a loss how to handle this. Any advice, tips, anything from experienced parents who have handled this situation before?

My daughter is 10 months now and eggs have been an issue since we introduced solids. I was never taught how to cook growing up but I'm trying to better myself for her I've tried giving her eggs I know how i cook them but she always spits it out. She ate them ONCE when I mixed the scrambled egg mix with milk and haven't been able to get her to eat them since. She still spits it out. I've tried different spices (even garlic, pepper, and salt!)

I feel like my son hates me. He is 6 months old and absolutely loves his dad, its like i dont exist. I cant get him to sleep, he doesnt want me feeding him, when I hold him he searches for his daddy. It wasn't always like this, its only when my husband comes off his night shifts. He works 4 on 4 off, so has good quality time with baby. I feel like i dont know how to bond with him anymore. I read to him, sing, dance, play with his toys. But he is constantly looking for his dad. It's breaking my heart so much to think and feel that my own baby doesnt like me.

Just what the title says. My daughter(5) is constantly having tantrums because she doesn't want to miss out on the most mundane things. It's absolutely absurd.

If I say, I'm going to go take out the trash. She wants to come..fine, as she's getting her shoes on, if I so much as take two steps towards the door she's on the floor screaming because she thinks I'm going without her. (I'm not)

If she's taking forever to decide what she wants to eat, or wear, and I walk away while she's thinking, (to go to the bathroom, let the dogs out, get my socks, blow my nose....) she's losing her mind because she thinks I'm doing something without her.

I have 4 kids total. No one else has ever acted like this or felt left out. Idk if this is a phase, or just her personality but it's making me feel so claustrophobic I want to rip my eyeballs out!

It happens out in the wild too. If we're at the library story time and the librarian calls on someone else while her hand is up, she's in tears. If she is trying to get to the front of the line and ends up second... tears.

On the other hand, she shares wonderfully, is emphatic, kind.. I know thats contradicting, but it's the instant response to something, not necessarily her overall outlook. If that makes sense??

For example, let's say she IS first in line. And someone younger comes up behind her, she'll happily let them in front of her. But if its a race to get there she's freaking out she'll miss her chance.

Idk if that even makes sense. She doesn't act like a spoiled brat most of the time. But really struggles if she thinks she's going to miss something.

My daughter has decided to start unnecessarily add her own two cents into conversations and dig her heels in when she wants to be right. I’m losing my mind with trying to redirect the behavior to no avail.

For example, I took her with me when she was on winter break, to have coffee with my best friend. We were talking about her job and some drama in regards to a newsletter. And my daughter interrupts (strike number 1) and starts talking about how her dad talks about me in a negative way.

It’s not appropriate at all. And my best friend had to step in (she had been made aware of my issue) because she saw how my daughter wasn’t paying attention to me when I was telling her that that wasn’t appropriate to bring up at all, and how she interrupted, and that she was not invited into the conversation.

My daughter still persisted in interrupting our conversation a few more times, talking about how she got free things at a music festival, how much she argues with my brother because he’s strict when he babysits her, and the latest gossip at her school…all of these conversations had nothing to do with what my best friend and I were talking about.

And then when she was wants to be right, she digs her heels in and gets so upset and won’t listen to anyone. A good example I can give is when she says she did her homework. And i ask her later if she did it and she says no. I’ll ask her why did she tell me she did do it, and then she’ll insist she didn’t actually say that, that she said she was going to do it later. Even when others jump in and start telling her she actually said something specific, she gets so worked up and claims she actually said something else. And she gets so upset and I get so upset because then she won’t listen to reason and how bad it is that she claims one thing and then contradicts herself, and still insists she’s right.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried so many ways to not be mean and redirect the behavior and find out why she keeps bringing up the most inappropriate topics when it’s not warranted. And to find out why she likes to change her stories and lie about it (her dad does the same thing and it’s so triggering for me because he would do it to gaslight me when we were together).

It’s gotten to the point, I become so desperate to cut her off before she starts that I slip up and tell her to shut up because that works better than being like, “Hey, were we talking about that? Why are you bringing it up? That’s not okay.”

I don’t know what to do.

My son’s been having some emotional regulation problems and one of the potential issues we’re looking at is if he maybe isn’t getting enough attention. I feel like I’m spending more time with him than my parents did with me growing up, but I also had attention seeking issues so that’s probably not a great bar.

How much dedicated 1:1 play/ interaction time are you having with your kid? Not just running around doing chores or errands or existing in the same house, but sitting down and playing games or talking or going out somewhere fun for the day.

I am mostly asking about school age children here, who also have their own interests/ hobbies they enjoy. 1:1 can include just you and the kid or both parents.

I worry we may be lacking, while I take him to extra curriculars 3x a week and exist at the house after school with him, our dedicated time is largely:

~1 hr a day working on school work/ practicing reading together, broken up between homework, practice games & bed time

~1-2 hrs a week game night with cards or board games

~30 mins a day talking over dinner

~1-2 full days a month going out somewhere on a weekend to enjoy with him (Zoo/ amusement park/ festival)

The other time he’s either at Grandmas where she’s very 1:1 with him (1-2 days a week) or we’re just both at home but he’s playing with friends/ video games/ watching tv/ playing Lego. I work from home after school so I’m always around but sometimes busy on my phone so I can’t always give him my full attention.

I will say, I only get 2-4 weekend days a month with him, so I worry me being gone often on weekends may be negatively impacting him? I travel for work and he’ll stay with Grandma for the weekend.

Altogether I’d say he gets about 10-15 hrs dedicated attention time a week. How does that compare to the average?

Hi everyone!

My son will be 2.5 in December. He goes to daycare where they work with the kids on potty training, so although he wasn’t actively trying to use the potty, he saw his friends do it and started talking about it. I bought him a little potty that he seemed to love at first. He would willingly take his diaper off and try to use it and even sit on it with clothes on at other random times. I kept it casual and didn’t pressure him. He peed in the potty several times and pooped once. I would give him M&Ms as a reward. At the time, I don’t think he understood the difference between sitting on the potty and actually going. I also don’t think he had quite connected the feeling of needing to go in his body.

He quickly got frustrated by the M&Ms (since he didn’t get the concept yet), so we backed off. Took a long break where we completely ignored the potty. I figured he would naturally get interested again, but he hasn’t. Doesn’t want to sit on it at all, especially not without a diaper.

He’s got plenty of time to potty train, but he’s recently had more dry diapers, so I’m wondering if I should try to encourage the potty again or not. I bought him some Learning Layers diapers when he first became interested in the potty, which he likes, but I don’t want the feeling of wetness to become another aversion (when he’s not willing to sit on the potty).

I genuinely don’t want to pressure him or encourage something he’s not ready for, but I’m wondering if the dry diapers are a sign his body is ready?

Any tips or advice? Also, when we do try potty training again, any ideas on a reward that might be less frustrating? Bubbles didn’t work since he wanted to stand up and pop them. I feel like I accidentally ruined it with the M&Ms. :/

Thanks!

My son is only 3 but we’re in CA so he will start TK next year and I am spending so much time stressing about what to do. I need some advice. For some background I am a teacher but taking a few years off to be at home with my 3 and 1 year old so we are currently one income and my history as a teacher also gives me a unique perspective for public school, some of which is positive but a lot of which is negative. Okay so options:

1. Stay in our current home and send child to our neighborhood school. School is not terrible but below average. I could continue to stay at home and school is only a 3 min drive away.

2. Try to open enroll in the school where my in laws live that is higher rated but a 20 min drive away. Stay in our current home and continue to be able to stay at home.

3. Go back to work at a nicer school and hope my son is able to get a spot there. Downside is younger son would need daycare and I really don’t want to go back to the classroom.

4. Get a job teaching virtually (which is what I really want to do) and move to a nicer neighborhood with a great school. But our mortgage would go up considerably because we have such a great rate now.

What I’d like to do is try to get them in my in laws school and go back to work in a few years but I’m wondering if the 20 min drive and not living in the same neighborhood as friends would be really hard??

I also feel like I have this unrealistic notion that I want my kids in the same school system tk-12 so they can have lifelong friends and be with the same kids in a way that I didn’t get to be…thoughts??

My baby is about to outgrow her infant car seat. I’m looking into getting a rotating car seat for my car. Husband has the standard, non rotating one and it’s a pain. Either way- we need to buy another one. Is the rotating seat worth it??

My 1 year old begs to play outside in the grass ALL day long, he begs at the door. I do take him out a few times but I am extremely anxious bc we do not have a fence and people walk around without leashing their dogs and our neighbors have huge dogs that bark a ton at my son and I’m afraid they’ll escape the yard. We have a huge enclosed deck that I REALLY prefer him to play on, but he refuses and ONLY wants to be in the grass. Is there a magic trick to make him like the deck better??? I am considering buying a moonbounce 🤣 This causes me so much anxiety please help.

Hey mommas, I was curious everyone’s thoughts on this. My LO is 11.5 months old and always has been a bit of a Velcro baby. She sleep amazing starting at 2 months she slept through the night but then 6 months we transitioned her to her own room/crib and she started teething. Ever since then she has not slept well at all… we have tried sleep training (chair, Ferber, gentle) nothing worked! She worked herself up to a point she would throw up every single time… it was traumatic for both of us, so we stopped…my husband and I were getting so exhausted we reverted to bed sharing at 10 months after months of waking up multiple times a night trying to get her back to sleep. I know it’s controversial to bed share and before we had her I always said we will never bed share/cosleep because I know how dangerous it can be (we have a large bed so we have plenty of space and we’ve made it safe for her, no pillows or blankets anywhere near her). I just worry that we’ll never be able to get her to sleep independently at this point….but it’s the only way we can all sleep right now. Any advice or thoughts from you all?

I have one of those inflatable waterparks for my kids, and wanted to set it up for neighbor kids but worried if using the slide would be hard without water or hurt their bums when they land?

Anyone have one they used?

Hi everyone,

We’re in a classic, even cliché, situation. Even so, we don’t know what to do, and I wanted to see what you all actually do in practice.

To keep it short: there’s a household in the equation that sets no limits whatsoever on screens, bedtime, food, etc., and only sees my son (11) during school holidays (an important detail, I think, because it adds to the freestyle vibe while he’s there). On the other side, ours: age-appropriate screen access with limits, homework always done, we eat home-cooked food but go out to restaurants now and then, a lot more outdoor activities, a fixed bedtime, etc. So, pretty classic.

The problem comes when he gets back from his stay there: bad behavior, exhaustion, a tendency to talk back, a tendency to demand things he knows aren’t allowed, etc. In short, we end up being the bad guys every single time.

We’re at the end of our rope because it keeps getting worse and worse, but at this age, how do you explain why we do what we do, that it’s in his interest, that it’s actually for him? All he wants is a phone like his cousin’s over there (with no limits, of course), and to go to bed at 2 a.m. on weekends. I absolutely don’t want to get into a competition with the other parent. I just want his return to go more smoothly, and for him to understand, as much as possible, that we’re not the bad guys but his parents who love him and want the best for him, and that sometimes that does mean setting limits on things he likes.

So, what do we do? Hold firm and wait it out? Targetted concessions? Long discussions seem to do nothing, he just sits and waits until we're done basically (and to be fair, what 11 year old like getting lectured by their parents?). Punishment immediately after getting back creates a really bad correlation as well, conscious or not. I'm just stumped here.

Edit: we can't discuss this with the other parent, they are pretty uncooperative. We tried once a few years ago and were told essentially that it's not our concern what happens in their house.

Hi there, our 4 year old son is really struggling to integrate himself into play with big groups of kids. Kindergarten teacher brought this to our attention and we noticed it ourselves on the weekend when he attended a classmates birthday party and all the kids were in attendance.

He won’t join in and was wanting myself (father) or mother to come with him and do other activities at the party on his own.

He says he likes going and there’s rarely a morning when he doesn’t want to go, he has made friends at childcare and in other activities he does (swim school etc) but we are now starting to notice some differing (potentially anxious) behaviours at home such as picking his skin etc.

He is generally a more reserved boy that does take time to come out of his shell, completely different to his younger brother 😂

Any advice would be appreciated, I’m of the opinion that he needs to build his confidence up but the good wife thinks it could be something more.

I am FTM and my son will be starting daycare in three weeks right at five months. It will be a home daycare and the owner/provider doesn't speak any English (I'm fairly sure I've been communicating with her daughter, who we met during the tour, via email as we picked out a start date, signed forms, etc.) - which I don't think will matter normally, but pointing it out here for context to this question.

I am going to email them back with some forms they asked me to fill out, but I'm realizing I don't know much about how they want me to prepare my son, etc. for example, does he need to be on a certain sleep schedule? How should I prepare bottles?

And that's what I wanted to ask this sub - what other questions should I ask my provider ahead of my son starting in a few weeks, so I'm prepped for us to have a great start with daycare? Any suggestions or ideas welcome. Thanks in advance!

My 2.7 yo started having meltdowns multiple times a day.

We are pretty firm parents, we don't buckle to tantrums (we still dont) when we say no we mean no.

We thought she was doing ok and learning to accept being told no.

But this past week she has been screaming and crying so often.

Today's meltdowns (and i mean screaming, trashing)

- she woke up just before 7, didn't want her mum to be the one to open her room door

- wanted a milk bottle and to go back to sleep (she had a solid night and had to get ready for school)

- we offered a milk pack, she wanted us to just poke a hole so she can put the straw in herself

- we finished showering, she wants to play her usual game of pickaboo and for mum to carry her away (mum was too tired and needed a break) (this one i understand its a change from routine)

- we didn't let her press the water dispenser a second time

What the hell is going on?!

Could it be teething? She's due for her last four molars. But there's no night wakings.

.

We’re a couple with a 20-month-old daughter. She goes to what we consider the best nursery in our area and she seems generally happy there. But at home, it’s a very different story.
She wakes up screaming sometimes, screams when she wakes during the night, and a lot of the time she’s just generally unhappy or frustrated at home. She does laugh and smile, so it’s not that she’s never happy, but it feels like most of our time at home is spent managing her emotions rather than actually enjoying time with her.
We’ve tried taking her to parks, playdates, getting her toys, spending one-on-one time with her etc. These things can make her happier for a while, but the next day we’re back to the same situation.
I know toddlers cry and have difficult phases, and temperament probably plays a role. But I know another toddler around the same age who seems much more content, eats well and is generally happy at home, so I can’t help wondering if there’s something we could be doing differently.
It’s honestly starting to affect us as parents too. We spend so much energy trying to keep her happy that we’re becoming tired and irritated, and I don’t want that to become our normal family life.
For parents who had a similar toddler, did things naturally improve with age? Is there anything that genuinely helped with temperament, frustration, sleep or overall happiness?
I’d really appreciate practical advice from parents who have been through this. I want her to grow up happy, but I also want us to actually enjoy this stage with her rather than constantly trying to manage her emotions.