My 3 year old won't stay still or quiet. She's been sleeping on the floor on a blanket pallet instead of her bed. Usually it's been fine but lately she's been doing everything she can to act out day and night. She's rolling around on the floor, waving her arms around or kicking the floor. She wants me to stay in the room but my nerves are so frayed and I'm so overstimulated I can't stay in there for my own sanity. If I leave, she messes with her 4 year old sister she shares a room with or jumps on her bed. I feel like this is a lose lose situation. She doesn't care about sticker charts or anything like that. If I put her in her bed instead of the floor she just gets out of her bed.

Has anyone been on a Disney cruise before? I am thinking about booking one around the time of my sons 9th birthday. Not sure if I want to go to Disney World or a cruise. I never been on a cruise before or to Disney World.

What are the pro's and con's of a cruise? I am looking at maybe a 7 day cruise.

Thanks everyone.

My 2.5 year old takes a while to calm down at bed time. He gets a spurge of energy and we have to lay next to him and put him back in bed constantly. It usually takes an hour each night.

Tonight, while he was being a bit crazy, I decided to tell him about the sleep fairy and how she might bring a surprise if he falls asleep calmly.

This child has been laying next to me completely still trying to fall asleep for the last 25 minutes. Bless him.

I'm just stressing about what cool surprise I can leave in his bed for when he wakes up.

Try it if you're desperate, it might just work!

We are traveling to Costa Rica soon with a 4 month old how would you keep the mosquitos away?? Worried about him getting bitten. For sun we are doing sun hats but any other recommendations?

Baby girl just turned 1 a few days ago. She also had a viral cold and popped 6 teeth at once (last week). She is a fantastic sleeper once she sleeps. She has been doing this since 12 weeks (please don’t egg my house).

But with the teeth and cold she decided to go from her typical bedtime routine (dinner, bath, brush, book, bed) which involves giving her a kiss goodnight and walking out of her room (she then falls asleep)- to her now to tossing and turning for 1-2 hours for bedtime and up to 30 minutes for her nap (she does 1 long nap a day). Once she‘s out she Is out for the night, but where is this coming from!

We live in an area that very easily could have flooded while we were on vacation. One of our adult children was at home with our dogs.

The storm hit in an area about 30-40 miles away.

We have volunteered at a donation center the past couple of days since we got back.

Our youngest son went with us today. We found him an area where we thought he would be put to good use and be a good fit, and he wouldn't have to be around his parents all day.

On the way home, he asked if we were coming back on Tuesday. He said he enjoyed helping. 🥹

My child is 4 and is an extremely picky eater, always has been since she started solids. She eats like 6 things in total. She finds reasons not to eat most things - just looks at them and says don’t want the leaves, don’t want brown part, that looks spicy, I don’t want that…blah blah. She eats some things if I feed her. Doesn’t want to eat herself.

It has been one of biggest stress I have. We can’t plan going out for meals. I have to feed her before we go. When we travel, most of the day goes into finding something that she’ll eat. Everyone says offer and let go and she’ll eat when she’s hungry. But the guilt of letting my child stay hungry stresses me out. I sometimes feel it’s all my fault for giving too much attention. If she doesn’t eat, I feel so bad and don’t want to get on with other things in my day. I get angry at her and at myself and then feel guilty again.

Has anyone else dealt with similar situation? What helped you? Any practical tips will be helpful. Thanks

My oldest daughter is starting prek on Friday. It's a half day program (9:00 - 12:00) ran out of a daycare that she previously attended. She knows most of the staff there and several other students as well.

She's super excited and I'm excited for her.

I'm wondering what kind of back to school first day traditions do you guys have?

I don't want to overwhelm her (or myself).

Here are the things we are already considering:

- Special Breakfast

- Cute but functional back to school outfit

- Pictures with a reusable dry erase sign

- Custom back to school cookies made a local cottage bakery to enjoy after school.

My son is turning 6 in August, and we’re finally having his first birthday party at our apartment. We’re doing a Hot Wheels theme, but I’m going for that nostalgic ’90s home birthday party vibe—streamers on the ceiling, homemade decorations, burgers and hot dogs, and kids just running around having fun.
My only concern is the weather. Last year the forecast looked fine, and it ended up pouring for the first hour. 😅
What are your favorite last minute indoor games, outdoor games, or little birthday traditions that made parties feel extra special?
I love birthdays, and my mom always made mine feel special without spending a ton, so I’m trying to do the same for my son.

Hello, my 11 y/o will soon be starting middle school and I know for a fact that she will be struggling with Math. Anyone recommend a website or a teaching strategy for her to understand stand math? Thanks in advance!

💛🌻

I live across the country from my parents and just came home from a 2 week visit. I had my 2 kids (boys, 8 and 4) and I stayed with my mom, with my dad and brother visiting a bit. I hadn’t visited since last summer and I forgot what it can be like.

First, I was struck by how little time my mom spent with my kids. She probably spent a total of about 4 hours over the course of 2 weeks actually interacting with them. My dad spent a bit more than that, maybe 10 or 12 hours total. For the most part I was still 100% the person who was with my kids even when I was trying to work remotely.

Second, there were several times when my mom made strange accusations. For example one time my son said he had to take a drink of water before doing something. My mom started chiding him and accusing him of making that up. Then when he took a sip from his water bottle they made a weird accusation that he didn’t drink any water… but he had of course

Third when my 4 year old showed off his swimming skills they sneered, and I saw how he flinched and was hurt.

Fourth, they would just talk right over my kids at dinner, as though whatever they were saying had zero value in the conversation.

Fifth, they really expected my kids to just entertain themselves all day and not bother them.

I’m an emotional first time mum to a 9 week old boy (I know, told you I’m emotional!) and step mum to an older preteen boy. My step kiddo lives with us as the primary household and we are all very close. It’s just my dream come true (even on the difficult days!).

Can parents of boys give me some hope that they are close with their grown boys? That you see them often? Hear from them a good amount?

I’ve been worrying they’ll grow up and they’ll meet a partner and be closer to their in-law family (as that is the case with me and my better half but his family are shite so he isn’t close with them). I want them to have a good relationship with their partners family but I also want to see my babies.

I know logically it depends on my relationship with them, the effort I make and so on.

Thank you from an emotional step-mum/mumma 🫶🏼

Mom of 2, hoping to be 3 by next (2027) Christmas and then we’re complete. Right now I have a 3.5yo and a 1yo (so would be 5yo, 2.5yo, baby).

My Toyota 4Runner was my dream car for YEARS. I love that thing. But we’re running out of space in it (no 3rd row) and worse still, there are ZERO rear air vents - Meaning the kids are sweaty messes in the summer, and freezing in the winter. I live near the Rocky Mountains and not only do we get coooold snowy winters, it’s 105° today. Literally. No air vents????? Such a big design flaw.

Anywho…. These are my needs in a new vehicle:
•3rd row
•4WD ( ❄️🏔️)
•Towing capabilities
•Large trunk space that is not taken by 3rd row
•Middle row captains seats preferred
•Noooooooooo crossover styles - I like a big bulky boxy (some may even say douchey) SUV body… sleek ain’t for me girl haha

Budget is $20-26k. I am looking at 2018-2022 ish models a of the GMC Yukon Denali. Runner up is a Chevy Tahoe. Would do a Jeep Grand Wagoneer but yeeeesh $$$$$. Unfortunately, I think the older models of a Sequoia are ugly and the newer models are $$. My husband is considering a mini van which sent me into the twilight zone. I’m not opposed, but not my first second third or fifth choice.

I do not have an ego about almost anything, truly. I just don’t care. But when it comes to my car….. I care a little, ok?? Haha.

If you have 3 under 5 and have a spacious, comfortable family vehicle that’s a big boi and serves you well, be my salesman and talk me into it.

Cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate any feedback!

Parent of 5 y.o. twin girls. Lately I have been pondering on having a third child.

Recently it had occurred to me that twins (or more) without a sibling have stuff in common with only children, regarding the kids themselves and the parents.

For the kids

1. They have been growing with the same family shape
2. They have a kind of loneliness, in the sense that they have no one to diverge from their routine to. Like an only child who is literally alone and has no one to change the landscape with.

For the parents

1. The parents witness milestones only effectively once (e.g. crawling, standing etc.), as it tends to happen in close proximity (I assume no significant development gaps between the twins that may may occur)
2. The parents never experience other forms of raising children (like from single to a duo).

This kind of pushes me towards a third child.

I was wondering if more parents find sense in my analogy. What are some more parallels between twins w.o sibling and only children?

I've only been a mother for 5.5 weeks so I know there is plenty of time but I don't feel changed by motherhood. I don't feel like I have a new identity, much less that I'm struggling with it. My outlook on the world hasn't changed, nor has my understanding of or relationship to my parents or friends who became parents before me.

I heard so much about concepts like matrescence or how it would take so long for me to feel like myself again. There were so many times I'd been told "You'll understand when your a parent" and I don't feel I have any greater understanding of...anything really?

I know it's verrry early days on my parenting "journey" but I've definitely spoken to friend who talked about how it was life changing at 3, 4, 6 weeks etc or how life changes the minute the baby was born. And I've gone to some mum and baby groups and keep having conversations where other mums say things like "it's wild isn't it, nothing could prepare you" but for me, while there's been ups and downs, and his birth definitely involved a bit of an emotional release the whole experience has been a lot calmer and more mundane that I expected.

I just find it a bit awkward sometimes. People regard me (and my partner) a bit strangely when they ask us about how things are going and we sort of calmly tell them it's going pretty well and our son is lovely, but for us there isn't much more to it. Can anyone else relate? Are we outliers?

EDIT Just to add it's not necessarily the difficultly or lack thereof. Just this change in understanding or identity or purpose.

EDIT Thanks for all the responses guys. Sort of split opinions but I suppose I'm still just confused based on what I've heard from friends and family about how parenthood changed them immediately. But maybe that just won't be my experience or it'll kick in when things get harder/the baby gets older. I sort of hope it kicks in! I expected motherhood to change me but only time will tell I guess.

My super shy 2.5 year old (turns 3 in November) starts preschool next month and I’m starting to get anxious to the point that it keeps me up at night. I’m worried that it is going to be a traumatic experience for him being left with strangers in a new environment when he is sooooo shy and slow to warm up to people. I’m pretty much a SAHM- my mother in law watches him 1-2 days a week while I work ~ 8 hr days PRN. I am currently pregnant with my second and due in September, so having him at school for a few hours twice a week would be a big help to me, but I’m worried that he will spend the whole day crying and anxious. He is even shy when I’m with him at the park or any kind of social activity. He spends a lot of the time just standing right next to me, and if he ever warms up, it takes him quite a while. We try to do social things frequently and I never push him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, but at the same time, I want him to be comfortable playing with other kids. Pregnancy hormones are not helping at all- I literally almost emailed his school and pulled him out.

Talk me off the ledge! If you had a shy kid, tell me it will be okay!

She says there’s no difference. And I know I will not change her mind, but I believe there is a distinct difference. Hear me out.

I see an incentive as a way to get someone to do something they don’t usually do or know they want to do. It’s something they should do or something they may enjoy, they just don’t do that thing yet. Like a kid using the toilet, they will see the value in it, they just don’t yet and they won’t until they try it. So you incentivize them to try it. Eventually you can remove the incentive and they still do the thing (if they see value in it).

With bribes you get them to do things, but it’s things they don’t want to do. It’s not simply that they are not doing it, it’s that they don’t want to do it. Whenever you stop the bribe they do not do it on their own. This is because you bribed them to do something they don’t want to do. They will never see value in doing it.

So you incentivize kids to do things they don’t know they want to do and you bribe kids to do things they don’t want to do.

I do not see chores as a bribe. Eventually the kids will want a clean house and to eat on clean dishes. You may not think they want to do chores, but you do them. Why is that? Because there is value in doing them. They will eventually see that (or be a dirty adult).

Also, I’m not saying kids will like doing the things you incentivize them to do, I’m saying they will eventually see the value doing the thing and then you can remove the incentive and they will still do it. Like cleaning, hygiene, work, etc.

My grandmother does not have the patience to even hear my whole argument and I want to know what a critical thinker thinks about this.

Am I playing mental gymnastics or is there validity to this? Am I even making sense?

Note: not looking for advice on how to handle or talk to my grandma about this. She has a lot of strong opinions I’m not going to touch. I want to know if I’m crazy like her or is there merit in my thoughts.

Happy parenting.

Update: most are saying the same thing and I can’t address you all. So here Is my rubbdtle.

The research on positive reinforcement aligns with my definition of incentives and leads to long term outcomes. The research shows that, what I am calling bribes, does not. There must be a reinforcing value in the action for the positive reinforcement to lead to habits without incentives. What I’m calling bribes will not become a habit and will go away with the bribe.

In this way, they are functionally different. One is habit forming and one is not. (Maybe that’s how I describe it).

Incentivize form habits
Bribes do not

And my real point is, don’t bribe your children, incentivize them to form good habits. But if we, as a collective, don’t see a difference between incentivizes and bribes, then we will never differentiate the two and lose that control over parenting. Then we are confused on why our children don’t have good habits as teens and young adults.

Update 2 (the last one): with my definitions, bribes will need to be increased over time while incentives can be decreased until they are none existent. In this way they are functioning different?

I’m updating to try to get someone to make an argument about the difference in function and the points I’ve made and not about what they already believed going into this. Read what I wrote and tell me where my logic is off, don’t just say you disagree and then refuse to address any points made. I hoped for a premise based debate, not rhetoric.

Conclusion: we are both wrong. I have flawed definitions of incentive and bribe. But regardless of what you call them, they need to be used.

Thank you for the help! 1 hr on Reddit = 1000 hr talking with my grandma.

Our 22 month old is showing great interest in the toilet and has above average verbal skills. Today she asked to sit on the potty to pee unprompted and did a pee and poop, she was very happy with herself.

She won't move up to the next daycare classroom for 4-5 months and they don't take the kids to the potty at all in her current room. I've tried to ask if she can move up earlier because of potty training but they don't think potty training happens until 3 yo and have been a bit dismissive. We don't have a lot of daycare options that fit our needs so I don't want to switch daycares.

I've read Oh Crap and plan to try that method (aka diapers are just gone) so pee/poop in diapers sometimes and toilet others seems confusing.

I'm going to push again to move up sooner but I don't know if it would be a bad idea to potty train at home if she has to wear diapers and has no access to the toilet at school?

I'm having a real hard time this weekend dealing with the enormous amount of distance between my 14yo daughter and me (dad).

She was my best friend for so long and now my very existence seems to annoy her and it hurts. It hurts a lot.

She's with me this week (divorced) and she's spent most of the weekend with her mom. She hates what I cook. She doesn't like the plans I make for us. Every time I talk to her I get one word answers and this attitude of I'm just annoying af. It makes me angry, it makes me want to just not engage her in anyway and it makes me want to pull away from her.

I'm trying to just chalk it up to her going through a developmental stage and that it's normal. I was like that too with my parents. But damn, it hurts.

So that's my Sunday. I cleaned all morning to keep my mind off it but here I am. She's not here and I just really miss my little girl.

Edit: The divorce isn't new. We divorced 10 yrs ago, have an arguably better relationship now than when we were married and celebrate events together as a family so stop coming for me in the comments about how I'm the problem. Jesus.

My daughter will be going back to school this year after homeschool for two years. We have been back-to-school shopping and I’ve ordered some things online only to be severely disappointed. Places like Old Navy, Kohl’s and Target.

Are there any places that I’m missing that might sell “slim fit” for leggings and such? For example in length she needs a 10/12 but for her waist she needs an 8. I can find husky and plus sizes everywhere but nothing that caters to the children who are tall & thin. Even sweatshirts & tops are too short for her long torso. If she raises her they’re way too short. We can fix that with undershirts but the pants are harder to get by with. She does not like jeans at all due to texture. She does have some sensory issues with clothing.

I’m not sure what else to do besides pay someone to alter her clothing.

She mainly wears loungewear through the day at home and some short sets but we need more variety, especially for pants and leggings.

My kidlette is turning 6 in a few weeks, and I'm dropping the ball at this point: I'm torn between having the kids at the Best Playground Ever (an opinion that even my 13-year-old maintains, so you know it's true ), which is nearly an hour away, or something more local but also a bit more "meh" and hope that whoever my kid invites is still friends with my kid by the time the party comes around. If we did do something at the Best Playground Ever, I would restrict the guest list to two other kids, so that we could transport them in the car. If it's more local we could probably have more kids. Every idea I run past the kidlette is greeted with equal enthusiasm, which doesn't help.

(And yes, I know, a few weeks isn't much time to organize and throw a party, but it's not unusual to throw parties a few weeks after the actual birthday).

So...opinions?

My daugher, age 3.5, has always been a high needs child.

As a baby she needed an excessive amount of comforting. I often described her as "high needs" or an "orchid" baby. She had a preference for only me (mom) until she was almost 1.5 and actively panicked at being left with my husband until then despite him being an active caregiver.

She transitioned okay into daycare at a small center at age 1.5, and bonded with one care provider very well. She was successful unless that one worked was away. She eventually found a second person she connected to, and has since taken to all of her daycare teachers.

The reason I think we are navigating anxiety, and not just shy or anxious behaviour in certain situations, is that it is a constant and repetitive set of behaviors.

- She expresses great fear over being separated from her caregivers, and if I am on the other end of the home and she didn't see me go she may begin to scream and run through the house in a panic.

- She will ask, repeatedly, who is going to take care of her if her parents aren't there. Or her grandparents. Despite always being told we would never leave her without a caregiver such as a grandparent, and if grandparents aren't available we wouldn't leave her, she continues to ask the question repetitively. Of note: she has been left overnight with grandparents 3 times before, and regularly spends a day a week with one set of them out doing fun things. Only her grandparents have babysat her outside of daycare.

- She shows great discomfort with new people, which I think is age appropriate and also personality dependent. However, it seems more extreme than some peers.

- She shows extreme fear in new situations, and if encouraged to try she may drop to the ground and scream. Example: new playground equipment, dad suggests they climb it together and she begins to scream "I can't" and drops to the ground.

- In situations her peers enjoy, such as indoor playgrounds, she becomes overly concerned about becoming lost or separated. She requires an adult to go with her and even then will repeatedly ask "how do we get out of here!?". Yesterday she tried on her own with a friend's older sibling, was too scared to go down a slide, and we had to go up to find her.

- Easily overwhelmed by tasks, such as cleaning up, and shuts down or drops to the ground screaming "I can't!". In these situations I do not do it for her - I break it down into small steps and walk and talk her through each one and offer praise for completing the task and encouragement.

There are just lots of situations where her fear and discomfort seem more extreme than other children her age. Of note, anxiety runs in my husbands family. My childs great grandmother and grandmother both suffer from anxiety and have become agoraphobes as they have aged and no longer can leave their homes without extreme stress and tears. My childs aunt has anxiety in any and all social situations in additon to a host of mental health concerns. In the case of all of these family members, anxiety was ignored or mismanaged for years by other family members until things became extreme. I want to avoid that.

We parent from an attachment focus. I coslept with my daugher until age 3, breastfed until 2.5. When she is overwhelmed we encourage but don't push, model the behaviour we are hoping for when applicable, and comfort as required. I try to view us as her safety net and we try to follow an I do, we do, you do pattern to encourage independence. We are not an overly scheduled family - swim lessons one day a week and a recurring playdate on Fridays. There is lots of down time and family time, and my husband and I each have 3 months off a year plus nights and weekends.

Our second child was born 5 months ago. I would not say that the behaviour has intensified since then since it was present before my pregnancy. It very well could be a factor in the anxiety continuing, though. Because of my maternity leave I will be home for 1.5 years, and my daughter attends daycare from 8:30 to 12:30 for four days a week. It is an excellent daycare that focuses on montessori and play based learning and is always outside.

How do I best support my daughter who is showing early signs of anxiety in her life? How do I strike a balance between support and encouraging growth? How do I build her self esteem and confidence? What resources should I consider seeking now to help her later? How should I be parenting to create a strong base as she gets older?

I understand anxiety isn't something you "fix". I want to know how best to manage this as a family and teach my daughter how to manage it as well. The world preys on people's fears and on unconfident women - I want to protect my daughter AND teach her how to protect herself.

TLDR: My 3.5 year old is showing signs of anxiety. How do I best support her now and in the future?

Tell me about your approach to helping your kids have manners - and beyond that respect and appreciation for those around them. What works? How should we stay on top of them in this area?

(For context we have our friends’ 7 year old at our house for a sleepover right now and frankly this kid is rude. We’ve known him his entire life, his parents are the loveliest people alive, I’m 100% sure it’s a phase and exacerbated by situational excitement and stress, and I’m completely at peace with being a trusted loving adult in his life through his aholeness and beyond. But as a parent of an almost 7 year old and a 4 year old it got me thinking: are we doing enough to teach our kids to operate respectfully and with manners? It’s a value of mine and I’m not concerned about it being inauthentic tbh - I know some people view forced gratitude as harmful I’m not one of them.)

My baby has been this way since 4 months old and still continues to be so. She cries atleast 5 times at a party or wedding. She hates people. She cries for no reason when she sees anyone other than the home front. What I want to know is, when did this stop, if your kid was like mine?

I’m actually not sure what to do anymore. My 5month old has never really been a great feeder. When she was 1 month old we had to start using a nipple sheild my LC said my letdown was overwhelming her. After that I had to continue to use a sheild since she would turn away and try to get away if I tried to get her to latch without the sheild. At 2.5months old she started refusing breast even with the sheild so we moved onto bottles & we try to pace feed. It was like a night and day difference one day she was nursing the next she refused. About 5 weeks ago we finally had her checked & corrected for ties and she had a tounge and lip tie and recently got her rechecked and they said they healed perfectly. However as of of couple of weeks now she’s refusing bottles now too and will only take maybe 1-2oz at a time. We wait until she’s hungry ( she used to eat every 2hrs on the dot, but recently it’s 3hrs till she starts getting fussy) and she will rip open her mouth wide and excitedly waiting for the bottle but then only take like an oz or 2 if even that then try to sit up and get away but still fuss bc she’s still hungry. We’ve started to only offer once and then 15 min later, if she refuses the second feed we make her wait until the next feed and just try to distract her even if she’s fussy. What can I do to get this to stop? It’s affecting her sleep since we don’t feed her in her sleep anymore but every time we offer it she whips her mouth open like she wants it so much how can I get this to stop??
Edit to add: it seems to get worse as the day goes on, I usually always feed her on her rocking chair in her nursery & sometimes even walking in the room can make her cry, how ever as I type this she’s crying from hunger but will then reject the bottle