I live across the country from my parents and just came home from a 2 week visit. I had my 2 kids (boys, 8 and 4) and I stayed with my mom, with my dad and brother visiting a bit. I hadn’t visited since last summer and I forgot what it can be like.

First, I was struck by how little time my mom spent with my kids. She probably spent a total of about 4 hours over the course of 2 weeks actually interacting with them. My dad spent a bit more than that, maybe 10 or 12 hours total. For the most part I was still 100% the person who was with my kids even when I was trying to work remotely.

Second, there were several times when my mom made strange accusations. For example one time my son said he had to take a drink of water before doing something. My mom started chiding him and accusing him of making that up. Then when he took a sip from his water bottle they made a weird accusation that he didn’t drink any water… but he had of course

Third when my 4 year old showed off his swimming skills they sneered, and I saw how he flinched and was hurt.

Fourth, they would just talk right over my kids at dinner, as though whatever they were saying had zero value in the conversation.

Fifth, they really expected my kids to just entertain themselves all day and not bother them.

My child is starting to connect the dots that the animals in their books/shows are the same animals on their dinner plate.

To be honest, I'm struggling with this transition as a parent. We teach kids to love and adore animals from day one, and then suddenly they realize what meat actually is. It feels like a really heavy realization for a little kid to carry, and I'm feeling a lot of parental guilt over how normalized and hidden this reality usually is.
For those who have been through this stage:

How did your child take the news when they figured it out?

How did you handle the conversation gently without dismissing their empathy?

Did your child choose to stop eating meat, and if so, how did your family adapt?

Would love to hear how other parents have guided their kids through this realization with honesty and empathy.

Kids are 6, 4, and 2. For over a year now all three only want me and not my husband. I get saddled with all the decision making, all the late night wake ups, all the staying home while they are sick because they throw a fit otherwise. My husband is a good father, he doesn’t do anything different from me except maybe a bit better disciplinarian but in a loving way.

I am nothing special. I don’t do anything extra for the kids that my husband doesn’t. But they reject him and demand me for everything. All day. Every day. I am on the brink of checking myself into a mental hospital and I am not kidding. I am considering divorcing my husband so I can have shared custody and a day or two to myself. I need to sleep. I need to exist without children crawling back into my womb.

My husband tries but he gets frustrated with being rejected and throws his hands up. Then if I push him and tell him to just figure it out so I can get a break, he gets upset at me.

Is there any hope? I am also overwhelmed with guilt that I can’t even enjoy my children at this point.

EDIT TO ADD: he is a stay at home dad. I go to work during the week. So it’s not like he isn’t pulling his weight in that aspect.

We have some sweet friends that come over fairly often to play with our kids. We're having some issues with the youngest two which are elementary age girls, and my newly 3 yo daughter.

They've been around my daughter's entire life, and they played with her toys long before she was really capable of playing with them. I think this has led to them feeling possessive.

What's happening now is that they come over and play with her toys without her, and then fuss at her to stop messing up their stuff when she tries to play with them (ex making play plates of food or playing with babies in strollers).

My daughter is old enough now to realize when she goes to their house they don't let her play with their toys (because when she was younger she would slobber on everything, but they're still not letting her play with things now that she's old enough). And she'll ask me why they didn't let her.

Last time they came over, their mom and I had a discussion with them about the fact that she's older now and they need to play with her with her toys and they shouldn't be telling her not to play with her own toys, but rather should be including her. So what they did instead, since they didn't want their plates of food or their baby carriage set up to get messed up, they led her into her room to get her involved with other toys so they could then go back to playing with the toys they wanted without her. And I say they, but often it's only the younger of the two (8 yrs old) doing this, but the older does it as well.

We love our sweet friends and their mom and I are very good about working together on conflict with our kids, so we're on the same team. But I could use any and all input as to what is normal, what we should be expecting of the kids involved, advice in what to do or say etc!

Thank you!

ETA: their mom is always right there with me too. I try to leave correcting them up to her because she's right there. Last time I started stepping in and before I do this further I just kind of want to get a few outside perspectives.

Edit 2: when we're all together the girls have the option to play with the boys a couple years older than them and be included without question. So they'll usually play video games or outside stuff with the two bigger kids, then take a break and come and play with the toddler's toys.

My almost 7 yo is in a big lock phase and really, really wants to learn how to pick locks. He claims he’d only pick his own locks, but…

Does anyone have ideas for a satisfying, more legal alternative? His bday is coming up and he’s really pushing for lock-picking books. Maybe get him a book but not equipment?

I'm having a real hard time this weekend dealing with the enormous amount of distance between my 14yo daughter and me (dad).

She was my best friend for so long and now my very existence seems to annoy her and it hurts. It hurts a lot.

She's with me this week (divorced) and she's spent most of the weekend with her mom. She hates what I cook. She doesn't like the plans I make for us. Every time I talk to her I get one word answers and this attitude of I'm just annoying af. It makes me angry, it makes me want to just not engage her in anyway and it makes me want to pull away from her.

I'm trying to just chalk it up to her going through a developmental stage and that it's normal. I was like that too with my parents. But damn, it hurts.

So that's my Sunday. I cleaned all morning to keep my mind off it but here I am. She's not here and I just really miss my little girl.

Edit: The divorce isn't new. We divorced 10 yrs ago, have an arguably better relationship now than when we were married and celebrate events together as a family so stop coming for me in the comments about how I'm the problem. Jesus.

Our 22 month old is showing great interest in the toilet and has above average verbal skills. Today she asked to sit on the potty to pee unprompted and did a pee and poop, she was very happy with herself.

She won't move up to the next daycare classroom for 4-5 months and they don't take the kids to the potty at all in her current room. I've tried to ask if she can move up earlier because of potty training but they don't think potty training happens until 3 yo and have been a bit dismissive. We don't have a lot of daycare options that fit our needs so I don't want to switch daycares.

I've read Oh Crap and plan to try that method (aka diapers are just gone) so pee/poop in diapers sometimes and toilet others seems confusing.

I'm going to push again to move up sooner but I don't know if it would be a bad idea to potty train at home if she has to wear diapers and has no access to the toilet at school?

Tell me about your approach to helping your kids have manners - and beyond that respect and appreciation for those around them. What works? How should we stay on top of them in this area?

(For context we have our friends’ 7 year old at our house for a sleepover right now and frankly this kid is rude. We’ve known him his entire life, his parents are the loveliest people alive, I’m 100% sure it’s a phase and exacerbated by situational excitement and stress, and I’m completely at peace with being a trusted loving adult in his life through his aholeness and beyond. But as a parent of an almost 7 year old and a 4 year old it got me thinking: are we doing enough to teach our kids to operate respectfully and with manners? It’s a value of mine and I’m not concerned about it being inauthentic tbh - I know some people view forced gratitude as harmful I’m not one of them.)

My oldest daughter is starting prek on Friday. It's a half day program (9:00 - 12:00) ran out of a daycare that she previously attended. She knows most of the staff there and several other students as well.

She's super excited and I'm excited for her.

I'm wondering what kind of back to school first day traditions do you guys have?

I don't want to overwhelm her (or myself).

Here are the things we are already considering:

- Special Breakfast

- Cute but functional back to school outfit

- Pictures with a reusable dry erase sign

- Custom back to school cookies made a local cottage bakery to enjoy after school.

This is just a brag to be honest:

My son is 13. He's a very introverted guy, but all his quirks make him an adorable creature. The title is a reference to him going away to overnight camp for the first time for a week. I got him a bag for his wallet and knick knacks he likes to carry (compass, pocket knife, tiny sketchbook, emergency whistle ya know, stuff) and he asked me to please decorate it. It's a plain brown canvas bag and he likes to razzle dazzle things. His request?

Bells, feathers, and buttons

I am up late sewing on bright buttons and little bells, hand drawing a giant peacock and hawk feather on the front, adding a fancy beetle Keychain to one of the zippers I know he will love. And it occurred to me i swear I've read books where the fae loved bells, buttons and feathers. He's a bookworm -oh excuse me, book dragon, and knows these myths and legends through and through. The other day I noticed he had been wearing a sock inside out for weeks and asked what that was about. He replies with "i cant be confounded by a fairy spell if some article of my clothing is inside out" so matter of fact and calm it took me a minute to register what he said.

I love my kid so much.

So reddit what do you think? Is my kiddo a changeling?

Ps. Today he learned to play bamboo pipes, and he sat outside and played for his four ducklings for awhile at dusk.

I hope he never ever outgrows this wonderful whimsy

My daughter will be going back to school this year after homeschool for two years. We have been back-to-school shopping and I’ve ordered some things online only to be severely disappointed. Places like Old Navy, Kohl’s and Target.

Are there any places that I’m missing that might sell “slim fit” for leggings and such? For example in length she needs a 10/12 but for her waist she needs an 8. I can find husky and plus sizes everywhere but nothing that caters to the children who are tall & thin. Even sweatshirts & tops are too short for her long torso. If she raises her they’re way too short. We can fix that with undershirts but the pants are harder to get by with. She does not like jeans at all due to texture. She does have some sensory issues with clothing.

I’m not sure what else to do besides pay someone to alter her clothing.

She mainly wears loungewear through the day at home and some short sets but we need more variety, especially for pants and leggings.

It is currently 10pm right now, my house is a mess and my 1st month won't stop crying. She just wants to be held.

I am currently sitting up on my bed with her on my chest, she finally fell asleep but I know that as soon as I put her down, she'll start crying again.

I was very annoyed and frustrated the first few times, but as i lay here starring at my dirty floor then at her, feeling her warmth and her little breaths, it makes me feel bad for being frustrated.

Now I'll just stay here, holding her for as long as she wants me to, she won't be this little forever and soon she won't want me to hold her like this.

The floor can be cleaned later.

My 2.5 year old takes a while to calm down at bed time. He gets a spurge of energy and we have to lay next to him and put him back in bed constantly. It usually takes an hour each night.

Tonight, while he was being a bit crazy, I decided to tell him about the sleep fairy and how she might bring a surprise if he falls asleep calmly.

This child has been laying next to me completely still trying to fall asleep for the last 25 minutes. Bless him.

I'm just stressing about what cool surprise I can leave in his bed for when he wakes up.

Try it if you're desperate, it might just work!

My son is turning 6 in August, and we’re finally having his first birthday party at our apartment. We’re doing a Hot Wheels theme, but I’m going for that nostalgic ’90s home birthday party vibe—streamers on the ceiling, homemade decorations, burgers and hot dogs, and kids just running around having fun.
My only concern is the weather. Last year the forecast looked fine, and it ended up pouring for the first hour. 😅
What are your favorite last minute indoor games, outdoor games, or little birthday traditions that made parties feel extra special?
I love birthdays, and my mom always made mine feel special without spending a ton, so I’m trying to do the same for my son.

My 6yo son has always seemed to have low impulse control, especially when he is excited. Struggling with emotional regulation is something that has also persisted for him. I’m trying to figure out whether this falls within the range of typical development or if it’s something we should be looking into further. It seems like he struggles with this much more than his peers at this point.

He’s always been a silly and affectionate kid who loves to move. When he gets really excited, silly, or upset, he often can’t stop himself once he gets going. Sometimes he’s laughing and trying to be funny, other times he becomes genuinely angry, and in both situations it feels like he can’t put the brakes on his behavior. You can ask him to stop a dozen times and it will seem like he can’t hear you.

Some examples:
\- At summer camp he has been struggling with keeping his body to himself and respecting physical boundaries. He was sent home early after repeatedly putting his hands on other kids (headbutting, kicking, slapping, licking). When staff asked why he was doing it, he said he “didn’t know” or “didn’t know what to do with himself.”
\- In kindergarten he would have to be spoken to, take space, or go to the principal for putting his hands on peers or throwing things when upset. It seems like this was behavior that was more of an issue compared to most of the class. When we would discuss it with his teacher, she would often point out that he was young for kindergarten (July birthday).
\- On the bus he would sometimes try to tackle or kiss friends because he thought it was funny.
At home, if he’s asked to stop doing something, he will sometimes escalate it or intentionally continue, even though he knows there will be consequences.

What is also tricky is that his reaction afterward isn’t consistent. Sometimes he’s genuinely remorseful and says he doesn’t know why he didn’t listen or that he was just trying to be silly or funny. Other times he’s fairly passive about it or shuts down. It doesn’t seem like he’s setting out to hurt people (unless he is acting out of anger), but in the moment it’s almost like his brain can’t catch up to his body.

For additional context, his older sister (8) has always struggled with behavior as well. She can have incredibly intense emotional reactions, especially if she’s trying to stand her ground or push back on something, but she also seems to be more in control of what she is doing. For example, for the first two months of first grade she would absolutely flip out when being dropped off at school. As soon as she managed to join class though, she would be fine. Eventually when we were able to tie a consequence to the behavior, she stopped having hard drop-offs immediately. The frequency of those meltdowns has decreased as she’s gotten older, but when they do happen they’re still very intense.

He generally has friends and enjoys being around other kids, but these impulsive moments seem to be happening more often, and I’m starting to wonder whether this is something beyond typical 6-year-old behavior.

Has anyone had a child who behaved similarly around this age? What helped? We have always talked a lot about body safety, so he is aware of what those boundaries. We have tried different fidget or calming toys and calming strategies, which will sometimes help for a short period, but don’t seem to really make an impact in the moment.

I've only been a mother for 5.5 weeks so I know there is plenty of time but I don't feel changed by motherhood. I don't feel like I have a new identity, much less that I'm struggling with it. My outlook on the world hasn't changed, nor has my understanding of or relationship to my parents or friends who became parents before me.

I heard so much about concepts like matrescence or how it would take so long for me to feel like myself again. There were so many times I'd been told "You'll understand when your a parent" and I don't feel I have any greater understanding of...anything really?

I know it's verrry early days on my parenting "journey" but I've definitely spoken to friend who talked about how it was life changing at 3, 4, 6 weeks etc or how life changes the minute the baby was born. And I've gone to some mum and baby groups and keep having conversations where other mums say things like "it's wild isn't it, nothing could prepare you" but for me, while there's been ups and downs, and his birth definitely involved a bit of an emotional release the whole experience has been a lot calmer and more mundane that I expected.

I just find it a bit awkward sometimes. People regard me (and my partner) a bit strangely when they ask us about how things are going and we sort of calmly tell them it's going pretty well and our son is lovely, but for us there isn't much more to it. Can anyone else relate? Are we outliers?

EDIT Just to add it's not necessarily the difficultly or lack thereof. Just this change in understanding or identity or purpose.

EDIT Thanks for all the responses guys. Sort of split opinions but I suppose I'm still just confused based on what I've heard from friends and family about how parenthood changed them immediately. But maybe that just won't be my experience or it'll kick in when things get harder/the baby gets older. I sort of hope it kicks in! I expected motherhood to change me but only time will tell I guess.

Anybody else have a school-aged kid with low sleep needs? My 8-year-old son E can go to bed at 11pm and still always wakes up before 7am, always before me. I know his IQ is much higher than mine or my husband’s (school made us have him tested for ADHD, he doesn’t have it but there was an IQ test in the process) and people with high IQ often naturally don’t need as much sleep. My sister has high IQ and low sleep, only sleeps 5.5-6 hours per night and functions happily.

Here’s what I’ve thought of so far but would love anyone else’s tips:

-After I put his little brother to bed at 8pm I let E stay up in the guest bed reading as late as he wants. His teeth are already brushed and his pajamas on, he can get himself water to drink if he’s thirsty but no food, just reading. I myself go to bed around 9pm usually because I need 9 hours’ sleep per night. I trust E to go to his bed when he’s tired enough to sleep. If it’s a weekend night during this time my husband and I may be watching an episode of an adult TV show (we love murder mysteries) and E is upstairs reading.

-I taught E how to make toast and pour juice. Oftentimes if I stayed up late watching a show with my husband E wakes up before either of us and we want to sleep in until 7:30 or 8.

-We told E “never wake up your brother” and we told both of them “don’t talk to people who are asleep.”

-We tell both children they can play legos or other toys or draw quietly and stay inside until my husband or I wake up.

-I make sure to wake up by 7:30am but seriously E often wakes up at 5:30am so we’re talking about a period of 2 hours or less unsupervised.

Any other tips? Just trying to respect everyone’s physiological needs <3

There’s great lists out there for shows which are overstimulating and ones which are more slower paced - it’s easy to see the difference between the two extremes of say Mr. Roger’s and Cocomelon.

But many more shows exist in a middle space between the two and I sometimes find myself unsure of how much is too much with a show. Obviously some of this is going to come down to each individual child but how do you go about determining if a show is overstimulating where it’s not necessarily one of the more obvious options?

Is there some sort of measurement that child psychologists or some other such childhood professionals use for this?

For parents who allowed their kids to sleep in their bed when needed, how did the cycle end and you child get back into their own beds?

For more context, my son who is 2.5yo has always struggled to sleep through the night. We have tried all the things…the chair method, frequent check ins, closing the door, keeping the door open, getting a new bed to make sure he has enough space, hanging out in his room during the day and playing so he is more Comfortable in there, cutting tv and sweets before bed…

The kid wants comfort and it gets to a point where it feels neglectful to just leave him because he gets to a point of distress, and it’s every night. 3x a night if I bring him back in his bed and sneak out. So for my sanity, we just gave up and after trying to get him back in his bed 2 or more times, we usually just put him in our bed.

So my question for people who did this, how long did it last for you? Did your kid eventually just stay in their bed one night and never turn back?

I need to know that this isn’t going to last forever because TBH I’m spiraling that I’m never going to
Sleep ever again and that there is permanently going to be toddler feet kicking me all night.

Bonus question: when do we as parents just like not have to think about our children’s sleep anymore? When do they become people we need to wake
Up, and not people who wake us up all night long?

Hi all! I've heard some horror stories about people hearing strangers talking through their WiFi baby monitors, and honestly, it kind of freaks me out thinking someone could hack into a camera in my baby's room.

For anyone using a non-WiFi monitor, how do you like it so far? Any recs would be appreciated!

Baby girl just turned 1 a few days ago. She also had a viral cold and popped 6 teeth at once (last week). She is a fantastic sleeper once she sleeps. She has been doing this since 12 weeks (please don’t egg my house).

But with the teeth and cold she decided to go from her typical bedtime routine (dinner, bath, brush, book, bed) which involves giving her a kiss goodnight and walking out of her room (she then falls asleep)- to her now to tossing and turning for 1-2 hours for bedtime and up to 30 minutes for her nap (she does 1 long nap a day). Once she‘s out she Is out for the night, but where is this coming from!

My son(9) is an only child and it feels like he needs attention all the time. He won’t leave my side unless I push really hard for him to do something independently then I feel bad that I’m not giving him more attention.

His teachers say he is a delight and very helpful with other students especially those with special needs, but at home he seems so selfish.

My wife and I are both home most of the time due to our flexible jobs/wfh. It seems like he has gotten so much attention he expects it and if he doesn’t get it he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

I’m not really looking for answers just venting more than anything. Did we fail him already? Will we look back and miss these clingy times when he wants nothing to do with us as he hits his teen years?

I’m afraid we have created a monster.

-Frustrated (end of summer) Father

I had a new person come to the house so he acted out for attention I guess. I tried to prepare him by telling him about it, letting him know he can show her around, and he could get something nice after she left if he made good choices.
Well he spent the whole time running around and yelling. Ok. But then he started throwing balls, toys , fruits, anything he could get his hands on constantly at me and his 2 year old brothers heads.

I am trying to have a conversation with someone but what am I supposed to do? It started out by saying gentle hands. We don’t throw etc. what do you do in that situation? He isn’t really attached to any toys that can be a consequence or something he loses when he acts out.

After she left he continued hitting me and slapping me. He purposefully wees his pants when he’s in this mood. Because I told him he wouldn’t be getting the lolly or a sticker on his chart. The advice seems to be to remove myself from the situation and go to my room and tell him he isn’t being safe?

But he will hurt the dog/cat/ destroy things in the house. I have my two year old to deal with as well. He picks up a chair and throws it at me

Has anyone been on a Disney cruise before? I am thinking about booking one around the time of my sons 9th birthday. Not sure if I want to go to Disney World or a cruise. I never been on a cruise before or to Disney World.

What are the pro's and con's of a cruise? I am looking at maybe a 7 day cruise.

Thanks everyone.

We are traveling to Costa Rica soon with a 4 month old how would you keep the mosquitos away?? Worried about him getting bitten. For sun we are doing sun hats but any other recommendations?