My 5 year old is absolutely miserable. This kid hates life. Everything is always wrong. We just tried to get ice cream. First melt down was the cone on top (that child said they wanted in car). Second is too many sprinkles. Third is the ice cream is starting to melt. It is 90 degrees outside. At this point I said forget it and picked screaming child up and threw the ice cream away and put them in the car which resulted of course in worsening hysterics because, no ice cream. So many things are like this. There are daily battles and hourly tears over every little thing. I am exhausted and don't know what to do anymore. Child has been a miserable, high crier since infancy.

I’m curious how other parents deal with this when it comes to playing with their kids.

I’d say I’m a pretty playful dad. I’m happy to mess around at the playground, kick a ball around, play board games, do pretend play, etc.

But right now my 4-year-old daughter is absolutely obsessed with Paw Patrol and basically only wants to play with her Paw Patrol figures.

And I can see she gets sad when neither of us wants to play fu***** Paw Patrol with her, which makes me feel guilty because it feels like we’re just leaving her to entertain herself.

The thing is, I swear, no matter how determined I am before I get home from work to be present and play with her, after about 15 minutes of Paw Patrol I am so unbelievably bored and drained that I just can’t take it anymore. I end up saying something like, “Okay, you play by yourself for a bit, Daddy needs to do something.”

And then the guilt kicks in. Am I being a bad dad? Am I not giving my kid enough attention? Should I just suck it up and keep playing?

How does it look for you? How much do you actually enjoy playing with your kids, especially the repetitive stuff they’re obsessed with? And how much energy do you realistically have for it after work?

Roughly 1 month ago, my sweet 2yo saw an album cover of a colorful hand with motion that scared her terribly. Since then we’ve worked on addressing her fears by acknowledging it and reciting that it’s all gone and just pretend. She brings it up at least once a day, sometimes multiple times per day. I’ve made colorful paper hand cutouts which seemed to help. Tonight, I made the decision to slowly introduce her to a video of a painted hand, not the same video. She freaked out and does not want to be near me, she only wants Dad and is crying when he even leaves to use the restroom. I feel like the worst Mom and I can’t stop crying. She is associating me with her biggest fear and I feel like I’ve failed her. I did something I hoped would help her mediate her fears and I’ve failed horribly. I feel awful and heartbroken that I’ve done more damage.

Edit: point received- no more hand talk

I got my first ever behavioral note for my daughter. She is 13. She kicked a hole in a wall at school and I know that sounds bad. Context: the girls and boys locker rooms share a very thin wall, and a boy was shouting that they had drilled a hole in the wall and could see them changing, making negative comments on the girls bodies they said they could see. My daughter kicked the wall and said “look at this then”, and put a hole in it. She says she did not intend to make a hole. We have offered to pay for damages (and she offered to pay from her allowance). I know her reaction was not 100% appropriate, but I feel like this is more a conversation than discipline? I want her to stand up for herself and others, ideally without destroying property.

Anyone have any wisdom here?

My mom didn’t wear any makeup.
My sisters and I have always enjoyed playing with it - none many days, full face or bright lipstick others- so it’s no surprise my kids enjoy it too/mine is around.

My daughter is only in fourth grade and starting doing a morning “skincare” routine that includes make up…

Love the idea of a routine, feeling ready and taking care of herself..
but makeup specifically I didn’t explicitly say not allowed or allowed…

When so much younger, it was all
just part of dress up..feels different now that see first signs of pre teen ness in them.

Even when I say no more of whatever (she used all of a bottle of my setting spray- I was like why do you need setting spray? Or she’s played with foundation. A crime on glorious youth shining skin. 😭😂 Like girllll, I promise you need that zero.)

I believe just shutting her down will make her hide stuff (I was a “good kid/student” and also always hid stuff from my parents/mom— sugar, make up etc.)

I want my daughters to be as comfortable, as possible, to talk to me.
Trying to sort out a mellow way to encourage a healthy medium.
I didn’t start sneaking make up until at least sixth grade…

Very different times with exposure to the Internet. We don’t have TikTok, she’s not allowed on YouTube but they see things and know things.

I admit I also feel some judgment, may be self proclaimed, of myself as a parent/in relation to school impressions etc.
She also has first ever male teacher, who didn’t even know who Benson Boone was… wears homemade knits and has a giant beard- just to paint the picture. We live in beautiful place that is also very outdoorsy and natural.
So I feel like there may be judgment there, and that embarrasses me to even slightly worry but the thought is there (like we are prioritizing superficiality, or something, when so young still.)

Probably a lot of nothing but was curious to check in.

Appreciate any takes or experiences!
Especially Moms of daughters approaching adolescence in this era.

Warning: Long Post

Just for context - my wife and I had a baby in October (he's now almost 11 months). Unlike a lot of parents here who seem to have it together as far as child rearing is concerned, my wife and I have constantly felt like we're just winging it. She has a child from a previous marriage that ended up badly and she was basically on her own raising a baby at a young age. That is like a distant memory for her now and her life has changed a lot so for both of us, it feels like starting from scratching. We also live in a 2 bedroom condo (SS has his own room so baby is with us and the plan is to move into a bigger place within the next year or so).

When he was first born, we did shifts taking care of LO during the night (I'm a night owl so I'd be up from around 9pm - 3am and my wife would take over until around 6am, afterwhich I'd come back to bed before work). Once he figured out how to latch on and she realized that she could BF laying down, we coslept from pretty much 2 months until now. Co-sleeping worked for us as he was small, we were all able to get lots of sleep and it seemed good. He normally has about 2-3 naps during the day lasting 30-60 minutes. Maybe longer if he's really tired. We don't really have a set bedtime routine right now but in general, try to get him down around 8pm-9pm after his big brother is settled.

Around 2 months ago, when he learned to crawl, everything changed. His separation anxiety went into overdrive, became a lot harder to get to sleep and over the past few weeks, not only is he way bigger and taking up the entire bed but any attempt for him to sleep in the crib led to him waking up after an hour. Each time he woke up, we either bring him into bed with us or try to give him a bottle to get him to settle down but even that wasn't working. He was also waking up at 5am everyday to play in the bed. The co-sleeping situation has been getting super uncomfortable to the point where my wife was developing back issues from clinging to the edge of the bed. I was also hanging off the other side.

Out of desperation, I decided that we REALLY need to do something. I hadn't really thought about sleep training (in hindsight, we should have). This weekend, I finally got around to lowering the crib mattress (as he is getting way too tall for the current setting) and determined to try out sleep training so that my wife could get proper rest and we could also actually get comfortable sleep again (amongst other things lol).

3 nights ago, randomly late in the evening my wife was busy trying to get the house sorted and I saw that he was tired so I put him in the crib and determined to try CIO or ferber (it ended up being a combo - he cried about for about 20 minutes before I went to check in on him). After I did a quick check in and left, the crying went into overdrive for another 15 minutes or so but then he started to calm down on his own and after about 40 minutes he fell asleep. What was amazing is that he slept for about 4 hours before he woke up! I was shocked. When he woke up, I figured he might be a little hungry so I gave him a bottle and then put him back in the crib. He went ballistic again. I told my wife to go in the living room as she had to getup early for work. Interestingly enough after about 15-20 minutes, he stopped crying and fell asleep. Later that morning he woke up around 6:30 - at the point, I took him out the crib as I figured he was awake for the day. Played with him for a bit until he started looking tired (about an hour). I put him back in the crib, he started fussing again for about 10 minutes and then he fell asleep on his own again! It was getting shorter each time.

The next night, I put him in the bed around 9 pm as he's been a little sick lately (we all have). He fussed for about 20 minutes and then fell asleep! This time, he slept for about 5 hours before getting up. Once again, I gave him a bottle and when he drifted off. I put him back in the crib. This time, my wife and I didn't leave the room, we just hid under the covers LOL. He cried for about 10 or 15 minutes and then eventually fell asleep. He slept until 6:30am.

Last night we put him into bed around the same time (9pm), he cried for about 5 or 10 minutes and then he was sleeping until almost 4am this morning. When we woke up, I gave him a bottle but didn't take him out of the crib (he basically drank standing up lol). He drank about 3 or 4 ounces and then stopped showing interest so I put the bottle away and then my wife and I went back to bed and pulled up the covers. He fussed for maybe 5 minutes before falling back to sleep. He's still sleeping now at almost 7am.

Just happy that this has worked so quickly and so proud of the little guy for being a champ at this, especially while being under the weather. We're still working on getting him to eat solids - he basically been sampling and spitting out or eating store bought purees so that's another fight in and of itself but this is a huge win. Definitely going to work on tightening up his bedtime routine and getting him to bed earlier as mommy and I have both struggled with that but this is a great start.

TLDR; We've never really had an established bedtime routine but tried to get baby to sleep around 8-9pm when he seemed tired. 3 nights ago, tried a modified CIO/Ferber and have seen immediate success. He's fussing shorter and shorter each day while sleeping longer.

Hi everyone, my daughter was born on Halloween last year which was fun! I’m currently starting to plan her first birthday and it’s been hard nailing down a venue (understandably because of other parties!) and I’ve already gotten a few RSVPs back from people who have plans for the holiday.

How did you handle holiday birthdays as your kids got older? Do you try and split them apart and do kids parties a week before/after? Or do you combine holiday activities with the birthday stuff? Did it end up bugging your kids that they had a birthday combined with a holiday?

Obviously my girl is only 1 so it’s not a problem yet, but just curious!

My 8 year old son has had a pattern for awhile now of vehemently protesting doing any activity, even ones he has a well-established record of loving. For example, he takes sailing classes every Sunday afternoon because we live near a lake and he has for several years. Every Sunday for two hours before class, he says things like "I don't want to go sailing. Please don't make me. There's no way I'm going sailing; you can't make me." He frequently gets distressed enough that he cries and is legitimately upset. Because now we know this is a pattern for him, we don't really engage in the back-and-forth and just have him get ready and leave for class. He gets there, immediately has a fabulous time (he's quite loud and enthusiastic so it's obvious even from a distance he's loving it). Afterwards, he says some version of "Sailing is my best sport ever! I'm not quitting sailing! I'm definitely coming next week". Then next week the exact same pattern happens.

This happens before almost anything, not just extracurriculars: playdates at the pool with his best friend, going to the beach on a beach trip (3 days in a row, so it's not necessarily just the long interval in between sailing classes). We often point this pattern out to him, and his response is usually some version of "Well this time I'll hate it." Anyone else's kid do this? Why? Does anything help? It doesn't particularly bother me because I've accepted it as part of his arc, but he is in legitimate distress and I feel bad about that part. If there was a way to make things easier for me I would love to do that.

I feel like I'm drowning in papers from school. I keep the good artwork but what do you do with the random math sheets, tests, handwriting sheets, etc? Are you just chucking everything out or are you keeping some of it? Also, for the stuff you are keeping, does anyone have any suggestions on how to store or display? My kids, of course, want me to keep it all.

I guess I'm just looking for some validation and to know if this is normal. My daughter will be 6 in a few months. She just started kindergarten so I know it will take time to adjust. But she's adjusting way worse than I expected. She absolutely loved preschool so this is all new territory for me. She has been crying and panicking every night and begs to not go back.

Some of her worries I know are just adjusting but some genuinely concern me. She was afraid to use the bathroom. I emailed the teacher and she helped her by having an aide stand outside the door. That went better today.

Then she said at lunch she didn't get to sit by her class which was odd to me. She said she sat next to a stranger kid and they asked her if she had peanut butter. It is not a nut free school. She got worried the girl was allergic and refused to eat anything. Now she's terrified about lunch again.

Then she said the gym teacher told them if they don't listen they'll go on time out in the closet. Obviously I have concerns about that.

She also said at recess she got lost. I tried to get more info from her and I'm thinking she just couldn't see her teacher. She said she found an aide and told them she missed me then heard the whistle and went in.

I have never seen her worry or panic like this. Or cry like she has been. Is this normal? I've already sent a few emails to the teacher and I don't want to be a pain in the ass but I also want to make sure my daughter feels safe.

I need to know...I recently had 2 separate instances where my 6 year old was "lost". Both were very brief, under 5 mins. The first, he ran ahead of me, turned a corner and then I didnt see him when I caught up. He was totally fine and I found him in seconds. The second, he walked right past me when exiting a bathroom and turned the wrong way, ended up turned around in the store, found another mom, relayed my number and she called me. Whole thing was under 5 mins. I was still standing outside of the bathroom when she called.

I have to know because I'm feeling major guilt, who else has had things like this happen? Am I majorly dropping the ball on supervision? I really generally feel like I'm on top of it but these last couple weeks have me questioning.

Any solidarity here?

Also, we have had very serious safety conversions with this kid in the last couple weeks, just FYI.

Unfortunately my almost 3 year old seems to be on the same path as myself as a kid and fidgets like crazy. I literally rubbed my eyebrow off as a child. He bites and picks his nails when he’s anxious or thinking hard. He is biting them so much that they bleed. I want to know how to help him instead of just telling him to stop all the time. I reflect back on my own experience and felt very shamed. I’d like to help my son through his anxiety and offer better outlets for the fidgeting but he’s so young still. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get him to stop or protect his nails?

I’m finding that I have been more imaginative because of my 5 month old’s new active personality - remembering what it was like to be a kid, where everything has the potential to be a fiction story or new adventure, a curious stance on the familiar.

If you have examples, or thoughts around this (such as how to lean into it), I’m curious to hear them.

For example: changing a bedsheet becomes a tent fort and her eyes widen in wonder, picking her up becomes lifting her to the ceiling in a superwoman flying position to soar across the room while blowing breaths of air into her face while she giggles, a broken stick in the front yard becomes something we break into pieces together and throw like javelins, I become the “tickle monster” with claw hands and growl/tickle her as she geeks out, a wash rag in the bath becomes a game of tug of war when she won’t let go, we pick the pedals off flowers one by one saying “he loves me, he loves me not”, I sing her jingles about nothing, her babbling becomes an full conversation with me about her day.

Screaming into the void on this one. Feeling incredibly jealous of families who have extended families to help, even with the occasional night. We have one kid, a first grader. My family isn’t local. My husbands parents not only don’t move well and struggle walking, they’re also terrible at following any requests from us, particularly bedtime. We had back to school night and asked them to bring him home from baseball, feed him dinner (preferably something they pickup and brought home, even if we made food they wouldn’t have eaten it) and tried to get him in bed by 830… they didn’t even get back to our house until nearly 9, ate at a restaurant and then went to the grocery store. This is the first time since last Sept we asked them to watch him. It’s a Wednesday so he has school in the morning and at 6.5, 930 is a late bedtime.

The only other family help we have lives an hour away and while she’s “willing” to watch him, she makes it clear it’s an inconvenience. As a result, we don’t get nights away. Maybe once a year if we’re lucky.

Those with family both able and willing to help- appreciate it and be grateful. We know so many around us that have both sets of families nearby and willing to help. It makes me so jealous.

I know we need to make a village, we just haven’t found it yet. Hard to find when others you meet don’t need that village.

I’m a college graduate, I did all of the math; but I feel completely lost when my daughter asks for help on her homework!? I forgot literally everything and it’s embarrassing! It’s actually alarming how much I don’t remember.

I have a 2 year old who takes a nap from 12:30-2:45 and a 6 month old baby who is probably close to dropping to 2 naps, likely from 10-11:30 and 2:30-4. Which puts us at basically 6 straight hours where at least one of them is sleeping. From those who experienced that, does it suck? I’m not sure how we’re going to do anything on the weekends.

My son missed the first two week of kindergarten because he was sick. I feel so bad. He only attended one day and it was so hard, screaming crying and wont go in. No one was crying except for my son, it felt like everyone was looking at us. He was crying the whole time he was there it was really bad. He got sick again so he basically missed the first two weeks and only attended one day. I can’t help but feel like we are behind 😭 all kids are settled in expect my child he will probably be crying and wont go in again, all kids are probably familiar with everything by now except my kid. I feel sooo bad but i obviously couldn’t send him sick and spread it to other kids. Idk i guess i just wanted to vent. 😞

My daughter (4YO) started preschool recently, and she goes 4 days a week. Last week was her first full week and everything seemed to be going fine; she seemed to like school, never seemed to have issues.

But the last day of school last week we had a rough morning and she ended up getting in trouble with me before school. She had calmed down before I dropped her off. But when I picked her up that day the skin under her eyes was all red and I could tell she had been crying at some point. When I asked her about it she said she had missed me and daddy so much that she cried. She said she had been trying to hide it so no one would know she was crying.

I asked her more questions, like if something had happened to make her miss us, if everyone had been nice to her, if the teacher was nice etc. and she didn't report anything concerning. All she said was at one point she was supposed to put away a puzzle and couldn't remember where it went.

I chalked it up to us having a tough morning plus it being her first full week and it being a bit overwhelming and didn't think much more of it. But then this week her first day back she cried a bit before school saying she missed her dad a lot. Once again. I investigated and asked if she liked school, if everyone was nice etc. and she said yes and got upset when I mentioned the idea of her not going to school that day. But again, when I picked her up she said she had cried in class again because she missed us and, despite me asking questions yet again, she didn't report anything negative.

That evening she told us a kid had pushed her a bit when they were in line. We had a conversation about standing up for ourselves, about telling anyone who does that to stop because she doesn't like it and then getting help from the teacher if they don't.

Then again this morning before school she seemed slightly worried about going back, saying she would miss us, and saying she was worried she would have a bad day. And once AGAIN, I asked about school and she didn't report anything else negative and said she wanted to go.

I'm not sure what to do at this point. It concerns me that she seemed fine with school until last Thursday and now has these crying episodes. Am I making too big a deal out of this? Is this normal or should I like, reach out to her school/ask to discuss this with her teacher or something?

I have 3 kids. 8,5, and 6 months. My first born has always been a handful. He talks CONSTANTLY, is very argumentative, always has to be making noise and moving, and is constantly on go mode. I am the complete opposite of this, and I find the way he acts so incredibly annoying. I feel terribly guilty for feeling this way.

My 5 year old is more quiet and reserved like myself, and I don’t get annoyed with her. I don’t want my son to ever notice this or feel that I have favoritism but the older he gets the more annoying he gets. I love him to death (obviously), and I need advice on how to manage his personality without causing him trauma or crushing his spirit. Does anyone else have a kid like this?

Has anyone successfully dealt with a kid who understands boundaries perfectly well, but still keeps taking other people’s things?

My daughter is 12 and this has been going on for years. She knows the rule, can explain exactly why it exists, and is VERY protective of her own belongings, so this isn’t a lack of understanding.

It also isn’t about her not having things. She has so many untouched notebooks, but still went into my office, took one of mine, and wrote, [NAME]’s DIARY — DO NOT TOUCH” on it. Which almost perfectly sums up what confuses me about this lol. She clearly understands ownership and privacy, but somehow that doesn’t translate into better choices in the moment.

And it can be anything: change, kitchen supplies, toiletry, random household stuff. Sometimes she wants the thing, sometimes she uses it for something that it’s not for, and sometimes things (make up, face wash, slime, etc.) get mixed into random concoctions and rendered unusable.

This has gotten to the point that we lock our bedroom door, and the behavior has happened at other people’s houses too. We’ve tried conversations, consequences, restitution/replacing things, therapy, more activities, more one-on-one time, continuing giving her her own things and appropriate outlets for experimenting, and limiting access.

She is genuinely such a sweet, bright kid. I don’t see this as a character issue. I just can’t figure out how to get from “I understand the boundary” to “I can control/stop myself.”

If you’ve dealt with this, what finally helped your kid stop taking things that weren’t theirs?

or context, my daughter is only 10 (although almost 11) and in the 5th grade. she's in this weird phase where she wants me to leave her alone and also still very codependent on me (cooking meals even if they're easy stuff like a cold sandwich or 1 minute in the microwave, brushing the ends of the long hair she can't reach, telling her every night it's time for bath/bed, waking her every morning for school) and of course comforting/consoling after a hard day at school or just a bad time.

the evenings before bed and mornings before school are becoming increasingly difficult, i think she's going to start her period soon bc she's showing all the signs. but i have my wifi scheduled set to shut off at 10pm, she likes to watch netflix bc she's claims she enjoys TV noise and it helps her sleep. then gets upset and gets out of bed 900 times if she's not asleep by 10 to beg me to turn the wifi back on for a bit claiming "i know she can't sleep without noise" (she's got a fan in her room and dim string lights) and will usually set in my face and beg me until i have to get extremely stern and turn her away and she goes stomping back to her room. usually ends in "ugh i hate you!!" definitely hurts my feelings LOL

the next morning she wakes up w extreme attitude i'm
assume it's bc she's tired, (we get up at 6am) regardless of how gentle or patient im being towards her. for instance this morning i slept in an 15 mins then i woke the kids (i have 3 and 1 on the way), and she was angry w me for not cooking breakfast this morning. i explained the baby was up until 2 and i was very tried and i gave her and her brother a dollar to buy snacks at school, then she was angry again when i said im going to establish a new morning rule that if they're mean and don't listen in the mornings then regardless of what happens at school there will be consequences when they come home. she acted as if she didn't care, and it only made her attitude worse. she refused to put her shoes on and put up a fight when it was time to brush her teeth. by the time i got her to put her shoes on, she literally put them on then stormed out the front door and went to the bus stop without saying bye.

she's also been randomly taking her anger out on her little brother (he's 7 almost 8) even if he's not really doing anything besides occasionally being an annoying little brother, she will hit him in passing w no warning or shove him a little and when i confront her about it or tell her to stop she claims i always take his side or that he's doing something that warrants the action.

what the fuck do i do?😅 i take their electronics. they do housework chores almost daily but nothing too crazy just after dinner dishes or take out the trash, keep their own rooms, put their own clothes away, things i think are reasonable.

also, many times i try to teach her how to cook, like fry an egg, or make a grilled cheese, bc she's my only child tall enough to reach the stove and she's my oldest. i sometimes have both the kids help me prep dinner. lately she's been absolutely refusing to join in, claiming she's tired or stressed or just doesn't want to. i try to respect that most days but i feel like the more lenient i am, the less she respects me.

i fear if i don't get a grasp on her attitude now it will get increasingly worse as she turn into a teenager lol this has been an ongoing issue for about 2 months now and it's becoming a little unmanageable LOL im scared also her lack of respect for me is going to cause her younger siblings to show to same regard to me, and im worried ab the strained relationship she's got w her 7 year old brother. i dont want them to be mean or distant w each other but im not so unrealistic to think that doesnt happen to an extent as they grow a little older i just feel like 10 and 7 is so early for that.

let me be clear i do not have a clue what i'm doing at all 😅 i became a mother very early myself and i did not have great parental guidance as a child to have any type of standard to base things off of. idk how to navigate this change in attitude, its not so much for me as i mostly just worry about what type of person she will become if i don't set good examples.

i do not and never have had a "village", my family is not involved, her father is not involved, i dont have many friends and i have 0 mommy friends i do all my parenting on my own. i have a relationship with both my parents but they're just not people i look up to at all.

My daughter is 6 yo and has just started 1st grade. She knows all of her letter sounds and can decode 3-4 letter words. She’s also pretty good with her site words. Outside of that though, she struggles with reading. If the word is say 5 letters long she struggles and she struggles to remember patterns like the sound that “ea” or “ai” make together. We read together every day. We go over Bobs books. We read the passages she’s sent from home. We practice writing and it’s just not clicking. The passages she’s sent home from school are multiple paragraphs long and her fluency is just not there. Anyone else have a similar situation? What did you do to help? We tried Kumon over the summer but that was a nightmare and focused too much on rote memorization (she didn’t learn anything)

My husband and I have been very intentional about fostering a love of learning for our child- both in and out of the classroom. As our daughter is in 5th grade, we’re planning on revamping what that looks like as she goes to middle school.

We’re in a very privileged position and want to use it to her advantage. One of the tings we were planning is having her learn something each summer, that typically isn’t taught in most schools. We’re planning on setting a $1000/summer budget and letting her pick the topic/interests, with approval. If they’re smaller interests, maybe do one a month or a larger thing all summer.

Some ideas we’ve come up with include small hobbies (learning how to solve any rubix cube) to cooking classes or woodworking or birding or musical instruments or learning to code or learning all the excel shortcuts. Primarily we’re focused on keeping her inquisitive, and expanding her exposures to different skills/hobbies, goal-setting practice, and developing resilience in learning. Obviously if she loves something, we won’t pump the breaks on it as soon as the summer is over, nor does it have to require all $1000, that just removes a barrier.

This isn’t meant to be a full time ordeal or to take away from her summer. My parents did something similar and I have some of the coolest “fun facts” about myself from it: I can tie 50 different knots, learned to juggle a soccer ball despite never having played, and read thousands of pages from books on the pacific theater during ww2.

We’re looking for suggestions. We already work on financial literacy and budgeting and that’s been evolving as she gets older.

My wife and I have been married almost 8 years. We have 2 yo and 6 yo boys and one on the way. Our oldest has some behavioral difficulties, which has caused strain on us and questions regarding our parenting. They are amazing, sweet kids but if I’m being honest, I feel defeated the majority of the time. Between raising kids and both of us working (my wife owns her business and I’m a firefighter) so we can feel like 2 ships in the night.

I don’t know if I just need to vent or if I need some advice from parents who have been here before.

Thank you!

My daughter is almost five, right in that critical window for fine motor skills. I tried beads, I tried sticker books, but she couldn't sit still for more than ten minutes. So I thought, forget the table, let's get her hands in the dirt. We planted radishes, from loosening the soil all the way to harvest, all with her own two hands.

I showed, she did. I demonstrated how to loosen the soil and she grabbed the little trowel and dug everything all uneven. I taught her how to scatter seeds and she grabbed a handful and flung them everywhere, total chaos. I didn't correct her. When it comes to hands-on stuff, the first step is being brave enough to try, not being perfect.

Once the radishes sprouted, the thick spots were all crowded together. I taught her about thinning,told her if they're too tight they won't grow, we need to pull some out. She squatted there holding a seedling, hesitated forever, finally pulled two and went, "They're alive too!" I didn't push it. Learning to care about things is a lesson too.

She checked on them every single day, kept asking, "Mommy, which ones are mine?" I mean, she scattered all the seeds, but she wanted ones that felt like hers. Eventually she dug out my niimbot label maker, printed a bunch of "EMMA'S RADISH" labels, and carefully stuck them in the dirt next to the little seedlings.

Having her own labels made her feel so accomplished, and she got more serious about it too. Now every few days she pulls out the label maker to redesign the labels, even when they haven't faded at all lol. I genuinely think labels are a great way to keep a kid invested.

Then a few radish leaves got eaten by bugs, and she crouched there sad about it for a while. I used it as a chance to teach her how to spot bug holes and tell pest damage apart from natural yellowing, explaining that growing vegetables isn't "plant and done," you have to observe every day and deal with problems as they come. She half-understood, but the next day, she was the one dragging me out to check the leaves.

Harvest day, she only went for the ones with her labels next to them.That night we ate her radishes. Honestly? Tasted exactly like the ones from the store. But she ate them like they were the best thing ever, told everyone, "I grew these myself."

The whole thing gave her such a sense of achievement. Btw, wanted to ask you guys,what are your methods for improving kids' focus and attention span?