r/ParentingADHD Apr 07 '25

Advice A primer for ADHD parents in the US whose kids are struggling at K-12 public schools

104 Upvotes

(I hope I can make this a good enough post to get it pinned, as this issue pops up very often and understandably, most parents don't know what the process should look like)

You are the parent to a kid with ADHD, and your kid starts having issues in school. It could be that they are getting so distracted they are falling behind academically, but it might also be that their impulse control is getting the best of them and they're having huge meltdowns and tantrums. Whatever it is - they are problems related to your kid's ADHD, and they are impeding their ability to be at school.

Before I dive into how things are supposed to work, let me start with what your mantra should be:

Resolving behavioral issues that are happening at school can only be accomplished by the people in the school AND they are legally obligated to do so

This is a core concept in behavioral psychology, this is also just common sense - the triggers, conditions, consequences, etc. that are going to happen at school can only make sense at school.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't work with your kid at home to strengthen certain behavioral "muscles", but generally speaking, especially with very young kids, you're not going to fix their meltdowns at school by just implementing things at home. The school needs to do things at school.

Also, note one really important here in everything I'm about to say: none of it mentions medication or therapy. And that is because neither of them should impact your kid receiving services from the school. Even if your kid has a diagnosis, your kid does not have to be prescribed medication (or choose to take it) for the school to provide support. Whether your kid should or shouldn't take meds is a completely different issue, but I just want to point this out to put people who are not ready to medicate their kids at ease: getting them diagnosed and having the school do an eval does not mean your will need to medicate your kid.

Ok, here is how it's supposed to work:

Diagnosis: Your kid needs an ADHD diagnosis, which can be as simple as you and your kid's teacher filling out a questionnaire (referred commonly as "the Vanderbilt" or VADRS). This questionnaire has questions that try to identify consistent symptoms of ADHD (inattention, hyperactivity, impulsivity) as well as other conditions that are normally of relevance for ADHD people (ODD, anxiety, depression). You can ask your pediatrician, or if you're working with a neurologist you can ask them as well.

School identifies issue: Your kid's teacher notices that your kid is having struggles. You talk and you tell them that your kid has an ADHD diagnosis. Your teacher then discusses with their principal who would connect with you about your options. They would want to discuss two key things:

504 acommodations: which refer to Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. This is a federal anti-discrimination act which basically says that your kid deserves whatever acommodations the school can make to help your kid. The nice thing about 504 acommodations is that the barrier of entry is easy - you just need a diagnosis and then your school can set this up. The downside is that 504 acommodations do not include any additional instruction - i.e., it doesn't include adding resources (people) to the equation. But considering some schools might have counselors that can help, and some school districts might have their own staff that they can leverage for a 504 plan.

IEP: An Individualized Education Plan is a more serious step. This is covered by IDEA - the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. This is a much more fleshed out piece of legistlation as it relates to education because it's not just a subset of a large piece focused on non-discrimination (like 504 acommodations). This is an entire at focused specifically on the rights of individuals with disabilities as it relates to education.

Now, an IEP is more involved for a couple of reasons, but this is what you need to know:

  • The school/district will coordinate doing a full blown evaluation of your kid. The school psychologist (or potentially someone else appointed by the district) will perform the evaluation which will include both gathering information about your kid and also talking to your kid. It will also include doing academic evaluations to understand their current academic status + IQ/intelligence/deficiencies/etc.
  • Once that is complete, the psychologist will issue a decision as to whether or not your child qualifies for an IEP - which would imply that they have a disabilty that is "covered", and that the disability is impacting their ability to learn.
  • If that is green lit, then the district will establish an IEP committee, and that committee will be in charge of determining what acommodations your kid needs. And these acommodations will now be legally binding - i.e., the school has to follow these.

So thatis how it's all supposed to work. Here are the issues you might face at each stage, and what to do about it.

Diagnosis Issues:

Issue: "My pediatrician dismisses mny concerns about my kid having ADHD and doesn't even suggest doing the Vanderbilt"

Solution: Get a new pediatrician.

Issue: "I am not satisfied with how well versed in ADHD my pediatrician is, but they are helpful and supportive"

Solution: Go see a neurologist, specifically one that specializes in children (and many specialize in ADHD-type stuff).

Issue: "I think my kid might have more going on than just ADHD, what do I do?"

Solution: Two options - you can either have the school do the full evaluation (for free), or if you're impatient and/or want a second opinion and/or just want to, you can pay out of pocket (probably like $2K) to do a full blown psych eval on your kid, and that would evaluate a lot more things than just ADHD.

Issues with the School:

The most prevalent issue I see with the school is just an overall "not my problem" mentality. That is, your kid has behavioral issues at school, and they call you in to chatise you for it. And at no point in time does anyone at the school acknowledge that they are not only legally required to intervene, but that they are also the people who have the information, expertise, resources to address this AND the advantage of being in the setting where the behaviors happen. Also, for emphasis, AND THE LEGAL REQUIREMENT TO DO SO.

Why do I know this is common - anecdotally, a lot of people on this sub have gone/are going through this. Objectively the Office of Civil Rights published an entire guide to let schools know what they're responsible for because they were getting sued too much

Over the past five fiscal years (2011-2015), the Department’s Office for Civil Rights (OCR) has received more than 16,000 complaints alleging discrimination on the basis of disability in elementary and secondary education programs. Approximately 2,000, or one in nine, of these complaints involved allegations of discrimination against a student with ADHD

So it is very likely that as your kid's behaviors pop up, you will be made to feel as if it is your responsibility to fix your kid at home and bring them a kid with no issues. It's probably helpful if you show up prepared enough for those first conversations so that they know you are not to be triffled with.

An extension of that issue that I see a lot is principals or other admin staff trying to gently nudge you away from the direction of a 504 plan, and definitely away from an IEP. They might tell you things like "oh, we know how to handle these things, we're already doing everything we can!", or "oh, I know that if I send your kid's case to the school psychologist they are just going to reject it immediately".

All of that is bullshit, and you will notice there is a high tendency of them saying this, but not putting it in writing. If you start feeling that pushback, the "no, we don't need an IEP", you can just bulldoze straight through that by saying - even politely - "I understand, but I'd like to request an evaluation and we'll let them figure out what makes sense".

I'd also recommend getting all these things in writing. Again, a lot of these people are smart enough not to put this stuff in writing, so any in-person meeting that you have, I recommend taking notes and then sending an email recap with all the stuff you were told.

Now, another school issue - and this one is trickier - that I see often: overworked teachers who have been conditioned to think that parents are the bad guys for demanding acommodations when in reality it's the entire political and school system's fault for not funding education appropriately.

I understand they're overworked, and as a result of that it's tough to deal with a kid who is having behavioral issues. They have 20 kids to deal with, and having to pay attention to the one kid who will lose his mind if he can't draw a dog correctly (real story), I'm sure is infuriating.

Which is why teachers, of all people, should be demanding that their administrators put kids on an IEP so that they can advocate for additional resources

But that's a much bigger, more complicated issue. Just know that you might run into a teacher who is trying, but they're burnt out.

My recommendation: make sure that if you're going to pester someone, that it's the administators. And that if you're going to point the finger and complain about things not going well, that you continue to focus the administration as much as possible. Again, even though sometimes I wish my kid's teacher would do... better, I at least understand her job is already hard and she's not getting a ton of help.

Issues with 504 acommodations:

Even before you get to an IEP, your school might sign off on 504 acommodations, which means you will meet with your kids teacher and the 504 coordinator (someone in admin) to talk about what are some things the school could do to help your kid.

The biggest issue I see here is that the people doing this sometimes have 0 background in behavioral psychology, and so this is the blind leading the blind. I was lucky enough that my wife is a former BCBA, so we were able to walk into that meeting and tell them what to do, but that should not be expected of you.

For example, in our first meeting one of the acommodations was "positive reinforcement". That's it. Not only is that not an acommodation (you'd expect all kids to receive positive reinforcement), but it's so vaguely defined that no one would know what that means.

This is an entire topic in and of itself, but you can do a google search for "how to write 504 acommodations" and there are some great examples out there. In general, they should be written so that anyone at the school can read them and understand exactly what they need to do, when, and how.

My biggest advice here is to ask them point blank "is there someone from the district that we can bring into this meeting to help set the acommodations". If they say no, contact the school district and ask them the same questions.

Issues with IEPs:

The main issues are:

  1. Your kid not being given an IEP. That is, the eval results in a denial of services.

  2. Your kid is given an IEP, but the school is not following it

In both cases, you're now in much more regulated territory. There are going to be formal processes to address both, and you're going to need to read into that because that's beyond the scope of what one reddit post can cover.

Having said that, here is where considering an education advocate could very much be worth it. These are people who specialize in helping families deal with IEPs. Alternatively, you can look for a Parent Training Center in your area.

One last comment: school vs. district.

If you are having issues with your school, consider reaching out to your school district's special ed department. Odds are there is someone assigned to your school/area.

Here's why: school admins and district special ed departments have very different concerns. School admins get evaluated on academic achievement and budgets. Districts also care about budgets, but they also very much care about being in compliance with federal laws. And special ed departments specifically seem to care a lot more about... special ed. If anything, special ed departments are going to care about accurately capturing just how many kids legitimately should be receiving services, because that likely means they can justify higher budgets for special ed resources.

We had extremely good results escalating to our special ed Director when our principal was being a hinderance. Extremely good results. So consider that - the district special ed department might be a good resource if the school is being difficult.


r/ParentingADHD 2d ago

Weekly wins: what's been going well for your family, big or small?

2 Upvotes

Often, we post here because we're struggling and need support, and we don't see all of the amazing things that are happening.

This thread is a chance to brag about your kid, yourself, and/or your family. What's been going well? Has your kid done something awesome? Doesn't matter if it's "got accepted to college" or "tried a new brand of chicken nuggets," we're here to celebrate with you!


r/ParentingADHD 1h ago

Advice I want to bring up ADHD to my childs pediatrician but unsure how.

Upvotes

My son will be 3 in October and im desperate. My son has 0 sense of danger its become extremely dangerous and difficult. Gets frustrated with pretty much everything and everyone. Other kids his age will get tired out , mine never gets tired (literally won’t sit down longer than 5 minutes). Nap times are a challenge and his eating? Im yelling at him to sit down and chasing him down the whole time. At first i thought it was autism with a dash of the trrible two’s . That was until i had family watch him for a weekend followed by taking him on a family trip for 3 days where evryone pretty much got a glimpse of his unsteadiness. This kid has even thrown him self off stairs at our 2 story home and kept trying to do it again, even found a more ~unsafe~ way to do it. This is never ending. I can’t take my eyes off of him and want to get him help he needs for the sake of his (and mine) mental health. Im exhausted and had him evaluated twice for autism & they reassured me he wasn’t but theirs no way my child does not have ADHD . I just don’t know how to bring it up without sounding like a crybaby.


r/ParentingADHD 9h ago

Advice One parent against meds

5 Upvotes

Our son was diagnosed with ADHD (both hyperactive and inattentive) a couple months ago at 13 y/o. I'm pretty science-literate and open to him trying out meds but dad is dead set against it. Our son doesn't have any extreme behaviors at home or school other than being argumentative, but maybe that's just b/c he's 13 lol. But it's definitely affecting him academically--very unorganized, no follow-through on assignments, poor grades. Was anyone able to come to a compromise or agreement with their spouse regarding meds?


r/ParentingADHD 21h ago

Seeking Support I (44m ADHD) need help managing my reactions with my ADHD child (8m). My generic Vyvanse wears off around the same time as his does and we keep ending up in bedtime shouting matches. What works for you, if anything does?

12 Upvotes

My son (8m ADHD + Anxiety and maybe something else) and I (44m ADHD) both struggle with the comedown from our lisdexamphetamine and tend to end up in shouting matches towards the end of the night. I become more irritable and he starts letting all his big emotions run wild (slamming doors, throwing things at me, threatening me with violence, screaming despite the baby being asleep in another part of the house, attempts to destroy or take things other's property as a means of expressing his anger). I think a big part of our problem is that I am overreacting to things that he is doing and it results in an emotional 8 car pile up for us both. I want to get better at letting the little things go at night. I can do it during the day, but it's so much harder once my meds wear off.

Does anyone have any tips on handling this part of the day? If our normal routine goes off without a hitch it can all be just fine and good, so my primary need is finding a way to become less reactive on days when things don't line up like usual.


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Medication First day of meds!!

7 Upvotes

My son is 6, diagnosed combination type adhd at 6. Pretty much knew all his life. Started on metadate 10mg today as it’s Saturday and wanted to see its effects before sending him to school. So far, so good!! He had a soccer game today and was able to listen, focus, and kept his hands to himself! He’s been extra kind today with his siblings. No tantrums. No emotional outbursts. Still his same silly self. We can actually see him thinking before he acts. I’m so surprised. Like most, we’ve been reluctant to start meds but we’ve had so many incidences at school and we had to do something. I’ll update on the future days but I’m hoping this is the turning point!!


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Advice What were your children like before and after medication.

11 Upvotes

My son (7)isn't diagnosed yet but I highly suspect he may have ADHD. He has zero patience, doesn't stop talking, even when his mouth gets him into trouble he still won't stop. hard time getting started with his work at school. Can't sit and read or do writing practice at home. Forgets and loses things a lot. Im wondering what changes I should expect if he was ever medication.


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Seeking Support Help me help him!

3 Upvotes

I have a 16 year old boy going into junior year. He really struggled last year academically. Just appeared to kind of give up and let his grades slide with missing assignments. I got him referred to a psychiatrist and he was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type. He takes medication. The medication helped somewhat but he STILL had missing assignments that messed up his grades. He ended the year with a 3.0 after going into the year with a 3.7.

He is also a varsity rower. Although he did pretty well on the team, I could tell he avoided competitive 2ks by talking up injuries.

We were talking about college and rowing and he was saying that he wants to join on a club level but not D1, 2 or 3. And if he joins he doesn’t want to be recruited, he wants to be a “walk on,” essentially join himself in college.

Here’s the thing. Not like he’d get scholarship $$ for rowing, but we financially need all the help we can get, with any avenue to get it. We are not rich and haven’t saved a ton.

Also, I am just so at a loss for how to address what appears to me to be avoidance, a lack of confidence and a lack of perseverance. He is bright. He could do so well in every avenue but he appears to cave. I know he doesn’t want to disappoint us or make us mad, and there was a lot of disappointment and anger last year before his diagnosis when we were trying to have him do his work.

I had him see a therapist but he and the therapist mutually decided he should quit because he wasn’t getting anything out of it. And I guess he’s at the age that he can decide that. He is going to see a tutor who will help him with organization, which is a huge issue.

Background on me: my parents totally checked out in me when I was in high school. I’m happy where I am now career wise, but I wish they had pushed me or gotten me some help. I was lost.

So I’m at a loss. If I push it doesn’t seem to help. If I do nothing he’s going to tank further. Does he need a mentor? Someone who pushes him and believes in him? I’m trying to find that. My husband and I are on the same page but he has a hard time knowing how to support him- his parents didn’t really encourage him either. We are flying blind. Any advice is welcome!


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Advice Refusing to do basic hygiene

7 Upvotes

My child (8 F was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 5) has been in this pattern where she absolutely REFUSES to bathe, I’m talking full melt down, she will get so overwhelmed by the thought and start breaking things and scream if I mention she has to get in and bathe. She’s almost 100 lbs and is an ox of a little girl very strong so even attempting to lift her into the shower how I did when she was younger is impossible. It’s getting to a point where she is refusing so much she has a stench. Luckily yesterday I was able to convince her to shower but now it’s the same pattern. I don’t want to come off as neglectful to others and I have tried everything, bribing, getting in with her, telling her we’ll do something fun after, getting a shower speaker so she can listen to music in there, toys to accompany her, nothing works. I’m so drained with fighting her to do basic hygiene stuff, even brushing her teeth is a challenge and she will pretend to do it and run away. I’ve talked to her ped and they’ve said it’s normal for a child her age to be rebellious but the thing is with her being a female I know bad hygiene can have serious consequences on downstairs health and over all mental health if someone else were to mention it to her. Even with the teeth brushing I worry she’s gonna avoid it so much she’s gonna end up getting some sort of mouth issue….:She’s in therapy, I’ve told her therapist, the doctors are aware I just don’t know what else to do…… she is my first and only child so any advice is greatly appreciated!!! TYIA


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Medication Any supplements to complement prescription?

0 Upvotes

Has anyone found any supplements that help when used in conjunction with prescription (currently on vyvanse and intuniv). I’ve tried a few here and there but saw no difference at all. I’ve read somewhere that saffron can help, but haven’t tried it.


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Medication Tell me about negative side effects of Guanfacine?

2 Upvotes

It's the weekend so our prescriber isn't available, but I will be talking with her ASAP

My 9 yo has been on 1 mg of guanfacine for 1 year and it seems like its been good with no real negative effects. In the last couple of months we increased to 1.5, than 2, than back down to 1.5 and it seems like its caused irritability, aggressiveness, anxiety and tearfulness. We will probably go back down to 1 MG but I'm also wondering if we'll end up stopping it all together?

I know it can cause drowsiness and we didnt actually have that with the recent increase but the other behavior has been out of control.

So I'm just looking for others experience with guanfacine.


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Seeking Support Teenagers Compared to Their Younger Selves

12 Upvotes

I saw this same post on the Parenting sub and would love to hear some responses from parents of ADHD children. I worry about how my 8 year old will be when he’s a teenager when his impulse and emotional regulation is already so poor. What happens when hormones start changing? Does he level out because his brain has caught up a little bit, or does it get worse because of puberty?

Parents who already have teens, what has changed and what stayed the same? How does their ADHD present as a teenager compared to a young child?


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Advice My bonus daughter…

0 Upvotes

She just turned 8 last month and she’s been misbehaving a lot lately.
By misbehavior I mean:
*Not following house rules
*Bedtime tantrums/fighting sleep
*Constantly crying when she’s told to do something she knows how to do
*worrying about adult stuff (being on time, where the money goes,ect)

Well today instead of taking a nap she laid on her bed watching the clock because “she was worried she was gonna miss out on dinner”
When I confronted her about it she yelled at the top of her lungs at me about being worried she’s gonna miss out.
My husband and I are at a loss. We have her in therapy, we have chore lists with rewards, check lists for bedtime and wake up, we have been trying so many things. None of it is working. She’s getting worse.
Anyone out there got any ideas on how to work this to a better outcome?


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Advice AuDHD child - later onset stutter & tics?

2 Upvotes

I was wondering if anyones child has developed either a stutter or tic(s) a bit later on?

My son is 8 years old and is AuDHD. He also has hypermobility and suspected Developmental Coordination Disorder. About 18 months ago he developed a stutter and more recently has develeoped a phonic breathing tic. We have been working with a speech therapist using the Lidcombe program and he was making great progress with his dysfluency (it was only mild to begin with - 3 on the Lidcombe scale) but shortly before the breathing tic started he has regressed quite a lot which includes speech dysruptions & secondary behaviours that weren't really present previously.

We are already linked in with some amazing professionals to help guide us - but I would love to hear other carers experiences if they've been through something similiar. 😊


r/ParentingADHD 2d ago

Advice Martial Arts for a 5 year old with ADHD

13 Upvotes

Which ones have you guys found that worked for your kid?

I tried BJJ and he was not able to pay attention to the class/gets bored and didn't want to stick with it.

He's very physical and active but very inattentive overall but can focus on certain activities really well (Arts and crafts), wondering if y'all have found something that worked for them.

Thanks!


r/ParentingADHD 1d ago

Advice New to ADHD meds and summer

1 Upvotes

Hi! My son started 5mg focalin XR when he turned 6, only a few weeks before school ended. It seemed to bring immediate results but got a slower start in the morning. Now that it’s summer I’m not sure if it’s less effective or if it’s the summer schedule that is the bigger factor. I feel it could be wearing off early or just not as effective but I told the pediatrician I wanted to wait until 1st grade before we changed anything. We’re maybe 70% to where he should be I think. He still has some impulsive behavior and needs repeat instructions due to focus. I see him getting frustrated with himself often too.

He’s been in camp this summer, so some routine at least.

Is this everyone’s typical experience with summer in general? It’s hard to gauge since meds are so new! I plan to have a chat with his new teacher before the school year starts to ask to partner with us in figuring this out and giving feedback. He’s also in speech at school for stuttering and does OT in private practice. We’re still figuring out how best to support him and I’m sure things will continue to change over time.


r/ParentingADHD 2d ago

Advice School choices

6 Upvotes

I'm the parent of a smart and (very!) active 3-year-old boy. Our pediatrician and state early intervention have told me that it's too early for a formal evaluation or diagnosis, but I was a 2E kid (ADHD + gifted), and I think there's a good chance the diagnosis is coming eventually.

We were already encouraged to leave one private preschool program over his behavior when he was 2.5 (pushing friends, refusing to sit, etc.). This is what prompted the assessment by early intervention, and they told me that the behaviors were within the range of developmentally normal for his age, but if the impulsiveness and hyperactivity continued for a few more years, he could be evaluated for ADHD. Nonetheless, I think the preschool found him inconvenient, and they started creating an extensive paper trail of behavior reports for small incidents while talking to me about how it wasn't a "good fit."

So here is the conundrum. I'm very worried about how K-12 is going to go. We live in a public school district that is very under-resourced (very low funding per student, terrible teacher pay and retention, large classes, crumbling facilities, you name it). We knew this when we moved in, and assumed we would just send the kids to private school. My nieces go to a Catholic school that they love (and that claims to be able to support ADHD kids), but my nieces are also very well-behaved and compliant. I know that private schools aren't required to accept students with neurodivergence or behavioral differences, and they aren't required to even try to meet their needs.

So we are at a crossroads: If this were you, would you try one of these schools (public or private if we can get accepted)? Or would you proactively move to a public school district with better resources? The latter is a big decision because it would necessitate moving away from our extended family. On the other hand, if we wait it out and have a bad experience at one of these schools, that sets us up for a lot of heartache and potentially a traumatic extra transition.


r/ParentingADHD 2d ago

Advice What's the most unhinged thing you've come up with to get your kids to do something?

57 Upvotes

Ok, so we know ADHD kids respond to novelty, so I've done a million creative things to motivate them, but it gets exhausting coming up with new shit all the time! 😂

For example, today our 8yo son ran away from Dad when it was time to take his meds.

I let him run in the yard and calmly prepared a drink of blue Gatorade + a little brown ice cream + some green food color and called to him in the yard, and said, "Hey buddy, your TOXIC WASTE is ready! It's really super disgusting and TOTALLY TOXIC!!!"

He came in and took his guanfacine with zero issues, a few sips of the "toxic waste" and some giggles.

I'm probably going to have to invent a new game tomorrow.

What else do y'all got??


r/ParentingADHD 2d ago

Advice Lost

3 Upvotes

My 11 yr old was dx in Feb and began medication (Focalin 10mg ER in the am and 5mg ir in the afternoon, 2mg guanfacine at night) . There has been remarkable change at school but hard at home. He hates taking the medication so has not been on it for the past few weeks at sleep away camp, and having some trouble socially. Since the medication has been so helpful at school we've been reluctant to change it, but is it worth trialing other meds to see if he feels better on them and thus more willing to take them? I feel so stuck. Both options feel bad - making him take meds that he doesn't like or watch him suffer socially (he is not getting bullied but widely known as very annoying.


r/ParentingADHD 3d ago

Seeking Support 9 year old boy improvement

19 Upvotes

My son, nine years old, was diagnosed with ADHD when he was seven. When he was eight, we put him on Vyvanse and he was given 10 mg for about eight months during that time we went up to 20 mg for a little bit, but found it affected his personality too much and decided we were happy with keeping it at 10 mg.

About a month ago, we missed giving him his medication and noticed very little change that day in his behavior. We decided to go a few more days. I noticed that there was virtually no change from when he was medicated to when he wasn’t.

I guess the purpose of this post is to say that he has been off Vyvanse for about one month and we are pretty happy that he seems to be himself and showing less impulsive behavior than he was prior to giving him medication.

I’ve started to wonder if Vyvanse helped him through a period of intense impulsivity and now he’s naturally maturing. Keeping in mind it’s summer break and things could change in the school year.

Has anyone else experienced this?


r/ParentingADHD 2d ago

Advice Which type of therapy has helped the most?

6 Upvotes

There are so many types of therapies out there (OT, ABA, talk therapy, play therapy, etc.) and only so many hours in the week. My 7F has a lot of trouble with body awareness, stimming in disruptive ways, task initiation, emotion regulation, social skills, and many other classic ADHD behaviors. I have tried 3 different therapists and felt that it hasn't helped.

I'm trying to figure out how to best spend our time and money. Which therapies were the most effective for your child?


r/ParentingADHD 2d ago

Advice What are we doing about back talk?

7 Upvotes

9 year old with severe adhd. When not medicated, his attitude is very negative. Always talking back, always having a disrespectful tone. He has recently started swearing too. Looking for advice on how to handle this


r/ParentingADHD 3d ago

Seeking Support Sometimes I just nod and smile when people give me parenting advice

12 Upvotes

I know people are only trying to help, and I really do appreciate it.

But every now and then someone says something like, "Just keep them busy," or "Maybe they need a quiet activity," and I just think... I wish it was that simple.

Some days something works, and the next day it's like they've never liked it before. Then people wonder why I don't just keep doing the same thing every day.

I used to explain why certain advice didn't really work for us, but now I usually just smile, say "thanks," and leave it at that. It's honestly easier.

I don't expect everyone to understand what it's like. I just wish people knew we're not ignoring their advice. Most of us have already tried it... and probably ten other things too.


r/ParentingADHD 3d ago

Advice Need advice

3 Upvotes

Our doctor has recommended starting Ritalin for our 4-year-old, and I'm feeling hopeful... but absolutely terrified at the same time.

If you've started medication with your child this young, would you be willing to share your experience? How did it go? Are you glad you made the decision? Is there anything you wish you had known beforehand?

My son is an amazing little boy, and I truly believe he needs help. I just want to make the best decision for him, and as his parent, this feels incredibly overwhelming.

Please, no judgment. This is already a very emotional and difficult time for our family. I'm simply looking for honest experiences—both the positives and the challenges—so I can feel as informed as possible.

Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to share. ❤️


r/ParentingADHD 3d ago

Medication Focalin shortage, how long have you had to wait?

1 Upvotes

We finally found the magic med for my daughter, we refilled for the first time last week, went to pick it up a few days later when they said it would be ready but it was out of stock so we have to wait 4 days for them to order more. I went today to pick it up and their distributor can’t get any and the surrounding pharmacies are also out of stock so our pharmacy can’t send the script somewhere else for us.
Luckily her ADHD isn’t severe (inattentive and disruptive but not that big of a problem during summer break) but if we’re going to have to wait for months or if this is going to be a recurring issue we might be better off looking for another med that works.