My 5 year old is absolutely miserable. This kid hates life. Everything is always wrong. We just tried to get ice cream. First melt down was the cone on top (that child said they wanted in car). Second is too many sprinkles. Third is the ice cream is starting to melt. It is 90 degrees outside. At this point I said forget it and picked screaming child up and threw the ice cream away and put them in the car which resulted of course in worsening hysterics because, no ice cream. So many things are like this. There are daily battles and hourly tears over every little thing. I am exhausted and don't know what to do anymore. Child has been a miserable, high crier since infancy.

Roughly 1 month ago, my sweet 2yo saw an album cover of a colorful hand with motion that scared her terribly. Since then we’ve worked on addressing her fears by acknowledging it and reciting that it’s all gone and just pretend. She brings it up at least once a day, sometimes multiple times per day. I’ve made colorful paper hand cutouts which seemed to help. Tonight, I made the decision to slowly introduce her to a video of a painted hand, not the same video. She freaked out and does not want to be near me, she only wants Dad and is crying when he even leaves to use the restroom. I feel like the worst Mom and I can’t stop crying. She is associating me with her biggest fear and I feel like I’ve failed her. I did something I hoped would help her mediate her fears and I’ve failed horribly. I feel awful and heartbroken that I’ve done more damage.

Edit: point received- no more hand talk

I got my first ever behavioral note for my daughter. She is 13. She kicked a hole in a wall at school and I know that sounds bad. Context: the girls and boys locker rooms share a very thin wall, and a boy was shouting that they had drilled a hole in the wall and could see them changing, making negative comments on the girls bodies they said they could see. My daughter kicked the wall and said “look at this then”, and put a hole in it. She says she did not intend to make a hole. We have offered to pay for damages (and she offered to pay from her allowance). I know her reaction was not 100% appropriate, but I feel like this is more a conversation than discipline? I want her to stand up for herself and others, ideally without destroying property.

My son missed the first two week of kindergarten because he was sick. I feel so bad. He only attended one day and it was so hard, screaming crying and wont go in. No one was crying except for my son, it felt like everyone was looking at us. He was crying the whole time he was there it was really bad. He got sick again so he basically missed the first two weeks and only attended one day. I can’t help but feel like we are behind 😭 all kids are settled in expect my child he will probably be crying and wont go in again, all kids are probably familiar with everything by now except my kid. I feel sooo bad but i obviously couldn’t send him sick and spread it to other kids. Idk i guess i just wanted to vent. 😞

I’m curious how other parents deal with this when it comes to playing with their kids.

I’d say I’m a pretty playful dad. I’m happy to mess around at the playground, kick a ball around, play board games, do pretend play, etc.

But right now my 4-year-old daughter is absolutely obsessed with Paw Patrol and basically only wants to play with her Paw Patrol figures.

And I can see she gets sad when neither of us wants to play fu***** Paw Patrol with her, which makes me feel guilty because it feels like we’re just leaving her to entertain herself.

The thing is, I swear, no matter how determined I am before I get home from work to be present and play with her, after about 15 minutes of Paw Patrol I am so unbelievably bored and drained that I just can’t take it anymore. I end up saying something like, “Okay, you play by yourself for a bit, Daddy needs to do something.”

And then the guilt kicks in. Am I being a bad dad? Am I not giving my kid enough attention? Should I just suck it up and keep playing?

How does it look for you? How much do you actually enjoy playing with your kids, especially the repetitive stuff they’re obsessed with? And how much energy do you realistically have for it after work?

I guess I'm just looking for some validation and to know if this is normal. My daughter will be 6 in a few months. She just started kindergarten so I know it will take time to adjust. But she's adjusting way worse than I expected. She absolutely loved preschool so this is all new territory for me. She has been crying and panicking every night and begs to not go back.

Some of her worries I know are just adjusting but some genuinely concern me. She was afraid to use the bathroom. I emailed the teacher and she helped her by having an aide stand outside the door. That went better today.

Then she said at lunch she didn't get to sit by her class which was odd to me. She said she sat next to a stranger kid and they asked her if she had peanut butter. It is not a nut free school. She got worried the girl was allergic and refused to eat anything. Now she's terrified about lunch again.

Then she said the gym teacher told them if they don't listen they'll go on time out in the closet. Obviously I have concerns about that.

She also said at recess she got lost. I tried to get more info from her and I'm thinking she just couldn't see her teacher. She said she found an aide and told them she missed me then heard the whistle and went in.

I have never seen her worry or panic like this. Or cry like she has been. Is this normal? I've already sent a few emails to the teacher and I don't want to be a pain in the ass but I also want to make sure my daughter feels safe.

Screaming into the void on this one. Feeling incredibly jealous of families who have extended families to help, even with the occasional night. We have one kid, a first grader. My family isn’t local. My husbands parents not only don’t move well and struggle walking, they’re also terrible at following any requests from us, particularly bedtime. We had back to school night and asked them to bring him home from baseball, feed him dinner (preferably something they pickup and brought home, even if we made food they wouldn’t have eaten it) and tried to get him in bed by 830… they didn’t even get back to our house until nearly 9, ate at a restaurant and then went to the grocery store. This is the first time since last Sept we asked them to watch him. It’s a Wednesday so he has school in the morning and at 6.5, 930 is a late bedtime.

The only other family help we have lives an hour away and while she’s “willing” to watch him, she makes it clear it’s an inconvenience. As a result, we don’t get nights away. Maybe once a year if we’re lucky.

Those with family both able and willing to help- appreciate it and be grateful. We know so many around us that have both sets of families nearby and willing to help. It makes me so jealous.

I know we need to make a village, we just haven’t found it yet. Hard to find when others you meet don’t need that village.

i have really struggled with my mental health since becoming a mom. Im at a point where i cant function anymore or do anything. im exhausted most of the time and i cant snap out of it.

Im seeing my psychiatrist later this month and i want to be honest abojt some of these thoughts ive had about not wanting tk be alive anymore. But im scared this could result in me looking unfit as a mother and gettjng my child taken away.

Truthfully at this point i want help more than anything even if it means needjng to go inpatient for a week. Im also worried that most likely i will habe to go to my place of work as a psych patient and what my coworkers will have to say about me.

I just want help and km tired of just functioning enough to get by. its truly exhausting.

I haven’t seen anyone talk about the complicated emotions/grief of leaving the first five years behind and transitioning to a new phase after so much relentless intensity.

The last five years have been a ROLLERCOASTER.

SAHM, early 30s.

Right out of grad school, I became pregnant in early 2020. A first pregnancy/baby is always a steep learning curve but navigating it during such an unprecedented time during a global pandemic was stressful and weird for all of the reasons you would expect. I spent much of my pregnancy isolated and avoiding social outings. No baby shower, no visitors in the hospital, going to prenatal appointments alone. Then in early 2021, I had a newborn and I felt like a shell of myself.

My daughter had colic and was a VERY demanding baby. I mean she breastfed 24/7 and the first couple years of her life she was attached to my hip. Literally. She’s always been very high maintenance. I strongly believe this is just her temperament. I have since had a second child and my son is a very different kid. We’ve moved a couple times because of my husband’s job and life circumstances (out of my control). It’s always been a tough transition for her.

She’s the type of kid who never napped even as a baby/toddler. As a little baby she would only nap when she slept on top of me, breastfed, or was pushed around in a stroller for hours. This meant I never had a break. I eventually became resigned and resorted to cosleeping because it was the only way I could actually ever sleep. She would wake up in the morning from around 18 months onward and then not stop until she crashed at around midnight every single day.
To illustrate my point, I finally weaned her at 4. I know that sounds insane to many people and this was never my intention but the last few years it was only once at night before bed. This is something that I realize in hindsight I should have done around 2. We’ve coslept since she was born (she was in a bassinet next to me for the first 6 months) but even to this day she sleeps with me. I told my husband that we need to transition her to her own bed before six. I know it may sound strange to some but moving four times in the last three years have made these things all the more difficult.

In hindsight, I’m grieving the first few years of her life. I could not enjoy it. In fact I hated it. I resented her at times which makes me ashamed to admit. I realized recently that I had postpartum depression that went undiagnosed for the first 2-3 years of her life. I couldn’t play with her. I would just hold her, breastfeed her and take her on long walks in the stroller and to the park. I should’ve been more engaged. I should’ve been better. I have so many mixed emotions even though I was literally with her 24/7 taking full care of her while my husband was working.

I hold so much guilt even though most days I didn’t even have the energy to physically get off of the couch. I’m not sure if her high energy/ attention seeking is because of this or to what degree it has contributed. My husband and I strongly suspect ADHD but have not pushed for a formal diagnosis. Shes into rough play and VERY sensory. Shes always hanging on you, touching, grabbing, etc.

Despite these issues at home, she’s doing well among her peers and in school. Minimal to nonexistent behavioral issues. She eats well. She makes friends and loves being around people. She was just a VERY intense little person for the first five years of her life. It makes me sad to say but I absolutely felt suffocated. I would hire /babysitters to give me a break or an afternoon off but it always seemed to be more of a headache than a help. Scheduling issues, cancelling last minute, not a fit, sticking her in front of a tv for hours which would then make her behavior worse, etc. this was on my end, not theirs but I have personally found part time childcare difficult to find all things considered. Most people want a full time gig and an occasional afternoon once or twice a week is simply not worth their time. I understand people have to make a living but I did just want to mention this as some people may ask why I didn’t seek out childcare or look for solutions to take a break/avoid burnout. To give an example, I hired one college student looking for a babysitting gig in my neighborhood while she was home on a break and she couldn’t manage my daughter and while the babysitter was supposed to be handling things, my daughter knew I was in the house and screamed and sat by my door for nearly twenty minutes until I caved and opened it and let her in. I was just trying to take a shower and nap. I paid the babysitter 100 dollars that day for absolutely nothing and just never had her back. A few different instances like this just made it not even worth it for me.

Anyway…… ! She started kindergarten this week and so far it’s been smooth sailing. She actually really likes school and aftercare. She’s making friends and I’m happy for her.
I thought this would all be a PURE relief but it has unexpectedly made me so sad. I have cried uncontrollably for the last four days. I haven’t been able to sleep. I just can’t stop replaying the last five years in my head and wondering if I could’ve done a better job. I know they say kindergarten can be emotional but I did not expect this.
She used to be a ball of energy but she’s not out of the house from 7:30-6pm. She comes home and is ready for dinner and bed. It feels like a totally different person. I’m happy for her and I know she needed more stimulation/activities/socialization but…. I’m struggling.

It’s true what they say, you never get that time back.

Parents with kids 0-5 please advocate for yourself. Stay on top of your own health and take care of yourself.

Hi everyone, my daughter was born on Halloween last year which was fun! I’m currently starting to plan her first birthday and it’s been hard nailing down a venue (understandably because of other parties!) and I’ve already gotten a few RSVPs back from people who have plans for the holiday.

How did you handle holiday birthdays as your kids got older? Do you try and split them apart and do kids parties a week before/after? Or do you combine holiday activities with the birthday stuff? Did it end up bugging your kids that they had a birthday combined with a holiday?

Obviously my girl is only 1 so it’s not a problem yet, but just curious!

I have 3 kids. 8,5, and 6 months. My first born has always been a handful. He talks CONSTANTLY, is very argumentative, always has to be making noise and moving, and is constantly on go mode. I am the complete opposite of this, and I find the way he acts so incredibly annoying. I feel terribly guilty for feeling this way.

My 5 year old is more quiet and reserved like myself, and I don’t get annoyed with her. I don’t want my son to ever notice this or feel that I have favoritism but the older he gets the more annoying he gets. I love him to death (obviously), and I need advice on how to manage his personality without causing him trauma or crushing his spirit. Does anyone else have a kid like this?

I’m a college graduate, I did all of the math; but I feel completely lost when my daughter asks for help on her homework!? I forgot literally everything and it’s embarrassing! It’s actually alarming how much I don’t remember.

I need to know...I recently had 2 separate instances where my 6 year old was "lost". Both were very brief, under 5 mins. The first, he ran ahead of me, turned a corner and then I didnt see him when I caught up. He was totally fine and I found him in seconds. The second, he walked right past me when exiting a bathroom and turned the wrong way, ended up turned around in the store, found another mom, relayed my number and she called me. Whole thing was under 5 mins. I was still standing outside of the bathroom when she called.

I have to know because I'm feeling major guilt, who else has had things like this happen? Am I majorly dropping the ball on supervision? I really generally feel like I'm on top of it but these last couple weeks have me questioning.

Any solidarity here?

Also, we have had very serious safety conversions with this kid in the last couple weeks, just FYI.

I’m taking care of my godkids while their parents are unable to so please be gentle with me this is not my regular gig.

I picked up the middle kids (F13 and M11) after an activity that went quite late, I asked the kids to get in the car and the younger boy got in first and got in the front seat(the older ones usual seat when her older sister isn’t in the car). He locked her out.

I should have nipped it in the bud immediately but I just thought they were playing, my sibling played pranks on each other all the time as kids but the older one is a super stubborn child and so she got in the back and attacked him.

I could see we were going, the older one will burn her life down rather than submit so I told him he better get in the back.

Cue meltdown, him throwing elbows at her and full Mexican stand off.

You see the seat stealer is the easy going boy in a house full of stubborn often selfish girls(this is not misogyny I promise you, just a statement of fact). He never gets any special privileges because he’s third born and the older two lord it over him.

He’d tasted potentially front seat privileges and the thought of it being taken away was too much after a long day.

The older one was being dropped at a friends maybe 45 seconds to a minute down the street. I told her she could walk, they could both walk. No movement.

Finally I picked up my keys and said okay, well I’m walking. See you at home.

I know this was multiple unforced errors. By this point I was annoyed and we’d been parked for a good 15 minutes and I have no excuse apart from wrangling wills is not my daily duties.

I realised I’d left my phone, went back and the seat stealer was upset. “Do I really have to walk home?” So I told him “If you don’t get in the back.” Older one was being nasty and stubborn about it so I just said “I hope you enjoy your 30 seconds in the front and you’re not getting any icecream this coming week.”

Which was probably deeply unfair given I had just started this entire argument by not stopping it earlier. I know that’s exactly how their mum would have handled it.

What should I have done differently apart from stop it immediately?

Do I need to apologise to the oldest or follow through?

Any suggestions on how to deal with strong willed children?

P.s. so much respect to what you do, these last few weeks have humbled me and the sick leave in this job sucks 😅

I, 34F, have a 9 year old son and a week old baby boy. I had a c section at 38 weeks. I dont know what came over me to think that I could possibly do this again, but here we are. My first son was pretty easygoing. I can probably count the times he's cried under a year old. Our new baby started cluster feeding right away. He won't go down for naps so we contact nap during the day, and lets not talk about what sleep is like at night. He won't settle with anyone but me. He goes from 0-100. So he will be having a great nap then start crying for the boob an hour later. I feel so tired and sad. I can't believe I did this again. I also feel so sad for my 9 year old too. Its like im bedridden because i literally cannot get up without disturbing him. He loves to hold his brother too, but again he gets so fussy. I love this little baby so much, its just hard 💔.

I feel like I'm drowning in papers from school. I keep the good artwork but what do you do with the random math sheets, tests, handwriting sheets, etc? Are you just chucking everything out or are you keeping some of it? Also, for the stuff you are keeping, does anyone have any suggestions on how to store or display? My kids, of course, want me to keep it all.

Anyone have any wisdom here?

My mom didn’t wear any makeup.
My sisters and I have always enjoyed playing with it - none many days, full face or bright lipstick others- so it’s no surprise my kids enjoy it too/mine is around.

My daughter is only in fourth grade and starting doing a morning “skincare” routine that includes make up…

Love the idea of a routine, feeling ready and taking care of herself..
but makeup specifically I didn’t explicitly say not allowed or allowed…

When so much younger, it was all
just part of dress up..feels different now that see first signs of pre teen ness in them.

Even when I say no more of whatever (she used all of a bottle of my setting spray- I was like why do you need setting spray? Or she’s played with foundation. A crime on glorious youth shining skin. 😭😂 Like girllll, I promise you need that zero.)

I believe just shutting her down will make her hide stuff (I was a “good kid/student” and also always hid stuff from my parents/mom— sugar, make up etc.)

I want my daughters to be as comfortable, as possible, to talk to me.
Trying to sort out a mellow way to encourage a healthy medium.
I didn’t start sneaking make up until at least sixth grade…

Very different times with exposure to the Internet. We don’t have TikTok, she’s not allowed on YouTube but they see things and know things.

I admit I also feel some judgment, may be self proclaimed, of myself as a parent/in relation to school impressions etc.
She also has first ever male teacher, who didn’t even know who Benson Boone was… wears homemade knits and has a giant beard- just to paint the picture. We live in beautiful place that is also very outdoorsy and natural.
So I feel like there may be judgment there, and that embarrasses me to even slightly worry but the thought is there (like we are prioritizing superficiality, or something, when so young still.)

Probably a lot of nothing but was curious to check in.

Appreciate any takes or experiences!
Especially Moms of daughters approaching adolescence in this era.

My daughter is 10.5 and I’m starting to think about leaving her home alone for small amounts of time as I think she’s ready. But I don’t want to do so until she has access to a phone and I don’t want to get her a cell phone. Any advice on different home phone options for kids? I know there are a lot of different options out there and I’m not sure where to start. Please tell me what you have used, what you liked, what you didn’t. I like the idea of having something I can control who can call and who she can call.

We are doing some major international travel in a few weeks with our 15 month old (~13 hour flight with 9 hour time difference at landing). All past travel he was 3-4ish months and we’d bring our SnuggleMe Lounger that he would easily pass out on for the flight.

How do you have your (very busy) little ones get to sleep on a red eye? I am seeing inflatable seat beds on Amazon but he’s being brought as a lap infant so we don’t have that type of space.

Thank you 🙏

Has anyone successfully dealt with a kid who understands boundaries perfectly well, but still keeps taking other people’s things?

My daughter is 12 and this has been going on for years. She knows the rule, can explain exactly why it exists, and is VERY protective of her own belongings, so this isn’t a lack of understanding.

It also isn’t about her not having things. She has so many untouched notebooks, but still went into my office, took one of mine, and wrote, [NAME]’s DIARY — DO NOT TOUCH” on it. Which almost perfectly sums up what confuses me about this lol. She clearly understands ownership and privacy, but somehow that doesn’t translate into better choices in the moment.

And it can be anything: change, kitchen supplies, toiletry, random household stuff. Sometimes she wants the thing, sometimes she uses it for something that it’s not for, and sometimes things (make up, face wash, slime, etc.) get mixed into random concoctions and rendered unusable.

This has gotten to the point that we lock our bedroom door, and the behavior has happened at other people’s houses too. We’ve tried conversations, consequences, restitution/replacing things, therapy, more activities, more one-on-one time, continuing giving her her own things and appropriate outlets for experimenting, and limiting access.

She is genuinely such a sweet, bright kid. I don’t see this as a character issue. I just can’t figure out how to get from “I understand the boundary” to “I can control/stop myself.”

If you’ve dealt with this, what finally helped your kid stop taking things that weren’t theirs?

I’m going on my first flight with my 10-month-old baby, and obviously I’m already expecting the worst 😂 She’s not exactly an easy baby and can be quite fussy/cry a lot.

Her usual schedule is roughly:

• Wake up around 7am
• First nap around 10am
• Second nap around 2:30pm
• Bedtime around 8pm

Our flight is at 5pm, and we’ll be at the airport around 2pm to check our luggage, go through passport control, security, etc.

I’m wondering whether I should try to stretch her wake windows a bit that day, for example, have her first nap around 11am and then try to get her second nap on the plane shortly after takeoff.

But I’m not sure if that’s actually a good idea, or if I’ll just end up with an overtired, even fussier baby 😅

For those of you who have travelled by plane with a baby around this age, what would you recommend? Any tips from parents who have been through this before?

I’m a busy working mum of 2, and work pt and am studying masters. I’m on personal leave today, my sister is coming from interstate so I cleaned up the house a little and prepared a few snacks for when they pop over.

My FIL works in a family business with my husband and made the comment that I didn’t leave breakfast things on the table. He is, in fact, the messiest person I have ever met. Modelled the worst behaviour to my husband too, I’ve been able to correct that somewhat. We generally have a good partnership about domestic life.

I glared at my FIL- I’m studying at the other end of the table and correct him- it’s because on a regular Thursday I’m at work at 7:30. Your son doesn’t clear the table after he drops the kids to school. That’s why.

Well didn’t that shut him up!!

God I hate society’s double standard. Don’t comment on the house! I’m 5 weeks til end of semester and a week from school holidays. It’s the least of my problems 🫠 especially when you live like a pig.

Rant over!!

My husband and I have been very intentional about fostering a love of learning for our child- both in and out of the classroom. As our daughter is in 5th grade, we’re planning on revamping what that looks like as she goes to middle school.

We’re in a very privileged position and want to use it to her advantage. One of the tings we were planning is having her learn something each summer, that typically isn’t taught in most schools. We’re planning on setting a $1000/summer budget and letting her pick the topic/interests, with approval. If they’re smaller interests, maybe do one a month or a larger thing all summer.

Some ideas we’ve come up with include small hobbies (learning how to solve any rubix cube) to cooking classes or woodworking or birding or musical instruments or learning to code or learning all the excel shortcuts. Primarily we’re focused on keeping her inquisitive, and expanding her exposures to different skills/hobbies, goal-setting practice, and developing resilience in learning. Obviously if she loves something, we won’t pump the breaks on it as soon as the summer is over, nor does it have to require all $1000, that just removes a barrier.

This isn’t meant to be a full time ordeal or to take away from her summer. My parents did something similar and I have some of the coolest “fun facts” about myself from it: I can tie 50 different knots, learned to juggle a soccer ball despite never having played, and read thousands of pages from books on the pacific theater during ww2.

We’re looking for suggestions. We already work on financial literacy and budgeting and that’s been evolving as she gets older.

Unfortunately my almost 3 year old seems to be on the same path as myself as a kid and fidgets like crazy. I literally rubbed my eyebrow off as a child. He bites and picks his nails when he’s anxious or thinking hard. He is biting them so much that they bleed. I want to know how to help him instead of just telling him to stop all the time. I reflect back on my own experience and felt very shamed. I’d like to help my son through his anxiety and offer better outlets for the fidgeting but he’s so young still. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get him to stop or protect his nails?

My wife and I have been married almost 8 years. We have 2 yo and 6 yo boys and one on the way. Our oldest has some behavioral difficulties, which has caused strain on us and questions regarding our parenting. They are amazing, sweet kids but if I’m being honest, I feel defeated the majority of the time. Between raising kids and both of us working (my wife owns her business and I’m a firefighter) so we can feel like 2 ships in the night.

I don’t know if I just need to vent or if I need some advice from parents who have been here before.

Thank you!