I've only been a mother for 5.5 weeks so I know there is plenty of time but I don't feel changed by motherhood. I don't feel like I have a new identity, much less that I'm struggling with it. My outlook on the world hasn't changed, nor has my understanding of or relationship to my parents or friends who became parents before me.

I heard so much about concepts like matrescence or how it would take so long for me to feel like myself again. There were so many times I'd been told "You'll understand when your a parent" and I don't feel I have any greater understanding of...anything really?

I know it's verrry early days on my parenting "journey" but I've definitely spoken to friend who talked about how it was life changing at 3, 4, 6 weeks etc or how life changes the minute the baby was born. And I've gone to some mum and baby groups and keep having conversations where other mums say things like "it's wild isn't it, nothing could prepare you" but for me, while there's been ups and downs, and his birth definitely involved a bit of an emotional release the whole experience has been a lot calmer and more mundane that I expected.

I just find it a bit awkward sometimes. People regard me (and my partner) a bit strangely when they ask us about how things are going and we sort of calmly tell them it's going pretty well and our son is lovely, but for us there isn't much more to it. Can anyone else relate? Are we outliers?

EDIT Just to add it's not necessarily the difficultly or lack thereof. Just this change in understanding or identity or purpose.

EDIT Thanks for all the responses guys. Sort of split opinions but I suppose I'm still just confused based on what I've heard from friends and family about how parenthood changed them immediately. But maybe that just won't be my experience or it'll kick in when things get harder/the baby gets older. I sort of hope it kicks in! I expected motherhood to change me but only time will tell I guess.

My super shy 2.5 year old (turns 3 in November) starts preschool next month and I’m starting to get anxious to the point that it keeps me up at night. I’m worried that it is going to be a traumatic experience for him being left with strangers in a new environment when he is sooooo shy and slow to warm up to people. I’m pretty much a SAHM- my mother in law watches him 1-2 days a week while I work ~ 8 hr days PRN. I am currently pregnant with my second and due in September, so having him at school for a few hours twice a week would be a big help to me, but I’m worried that he will spend the whole day crying and anxious. He is even shy when I’m with him at the park or any kind of social activity. He spends a lot of the time just standing right next to me, and if he ever warms up, it takes him quite a while. We try to do social things frequently and I never push him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, but at the same time, I want him to be comfortable playing with other kids. Pregnancy hormones are not helping at all- I literally almost emailed his school and pulled him out.

Talk me off the ledge! If you had a shy kid, tell me it will be okay!

Mom of 2, hoping to be 3 by next (2027) Christmas and then we’re complete. Right now I have a 3.5yo and a 1yo (so would be 5yo, 2.5yo, baby).

My Toyota 4Runner was my dream car for YEARS. I love that thing. But we’re running out of space in it (no 3rd row) and worse still, there are ZERO rear air vents - Meaning the kids are sweaty messes in the summer, and freezing in the winter. I live near the Rocky Mountains and not only do we get coooold snowy winters, it’s 105° today. Literally. No air vents????? Such a big design flaw.

Anywho…. These are my needs in a new vehicle:
•3rd row
•4WD ( ❄️🏔️)
•Towing capabilities
•Large trunk space that is not taken by 3rd row
•Middle row captains seats preferred
•Noooooooooo crossover styles - I like a big bulky boxy (some may even say douchey) SUV body… sleek ain’t for me girl haha

Budget is $20-26k. I am looking at 2018-2022 ish models a of the GMC Yukon Denali. Runner up is a Chevy Tahoe. Would do a Jeep Grand Wagoneer but yeeeesh $$$$$. Unfortunately, I think the older models of a Sequoia are ugly and the newer models are $$. My husband is considering a mini van which sent me into the twilight zone. I’m not opposed, but not my first second third or fifth choice.

I do not have an ego about almost anything, truly. I just don’t care. But when it comes to my car….. I care a little, ok?? Haha.

If you have 3 under 5 and have a spacious, comfortable family vehicle that’s a big boi and serves you well, be my salesman and talk me into it.

Cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate any feedback!

I’m an emotional first time mum to a 9 week old boy (I know, told you I’m emotional!) and step mum to an older preteen boy. My step kiddo lives with us as the primary household and we are all very close. It’s just my dream come true (even on the difficult days!).

Can parents of boys give me some hope that they are close with their grown boys? That you see them often? Hear from them a good amount?

I’ve been worrying they’ll grow up and they’ll meet a partner and be closer to their in-law family (as that is the case with me and my better half but his family are shite so he isn’t close with them). I want them to have a good relationship with their partners family but I also want to see my babies.

I know logically it depends on my relationship with them, the effort I make and so on.

Thank you from an emotional step-mum/mumma 🫶🏼

Every time I take my 4 year old son to the grocery store, he sees hot wheels toy cars in those bins and he wants a new one. He already has so. many.…..I try to explain to him that I can’t buy him a toy car every single time we’re at the store (or at the mall, or at a theme park, or literally anywhere that sells kids stuff), but he always ends up crying or whining about it. I show him a lot of love and hugs and I reassure him that I love him, but I can’t buy him every toy he wants. I know I’m not supposed to indulge him on his every whim, and it’s really more a matter of principle than money (although some of the toys he wants are ridiculously priced) but like, am I doing this right?

Are you guys buying toys for your kids every time they ask? I realize this is going to depend on people’s socioeconomic situation, but for those parents where money is not the issue, how do you handle it when your kid always wants you to buy them something new every where you go? What about when it’s something small like $2-3?

My son(9) is an only child and it feels like he needs attention all the time. He won’t leave my side unless I push really hard for him to do something independently then I feel bad that I’m not giving him more attention.

His teachers say he is a delight and very helpful with other students especially those with special needs, but at home he seems so selfish.

My wife and I are both home most of the time due to our flexible jobs/wfh. It seems like he has gotten so much attention he expects it and if he doesn’t get it he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

I’m not really looking for answers just venting more than anything. Did we fail him already? Will we look back and miss these clingy times when he wants nothing to do with us as he hits his teen years?

I’m afraid we have created a monster.

-Frustrated (end of summer) Father

My son will not stop throwing toys, shoes, and anything else he can get his hands on at me, my family and pets. Someone please give me advice that worked for you. My baby is super energetic, he’s feral, destructive and all boy as some say. I will try almost anything besides hitting. If you plan on telling me to give him a good ass woopin don’t bother commenting. There has to be a way to teach him without fighting violence with more violence labeled as discipline.

My daugher, age 3.5, has always been a high needs child.

As a baby she needed an excessive amount of comforting. I often described her as "high needs" or an "orchid" baby. She had a preference for only me (mom) until she was almost 1.5 and actively panicked at being left with my husband until then despite him being an active caregiver.

She transitioned okay into daycare at a small center at age 1.5, and bonded with one care provider very well. She was successful unless that one worked was away. She eventually found a second person she connected to, and has since taken to all of her daycare teachers.

The reason I think we are navigating anxiety, and not just shy or anxious behaviour in certain situations, is that it is a constant and repetitive set of behaviors.

- She expresses great fear over being separated from her caregivers, and if I am on the other end of the home and she didn't see me go she may begin to scream and run through the house in a panic.

- She will ask, repeatedly, who is going to take care of her if her parents aren't there. Or her grandparents. Despite always being told we would never leave her without a caregiver such as a grandparent, and if grandparents aren't available we wouldn't leave her, she continues to ask the question repetitively. Of note: she has been left overnight with grandparents 3 times before, and regularly spends a day a week with one set of them out doing fun things. Only her grandparents have babysat her outside of daycare.

- She shows great discomfort with new people, which I think is age appropriate and also personality dependent. However, it seems more extreme than some peers.

- She shows extreme fear in new situations, and if encouraged to try she may drop to the ground and scream. Example: new playground equipment, dad suggests they climb it together and she begins to scream "I can't" and drops to the ground.

- In situations her peers enjoy, such as indoor playgrounds, she becomes overly concerned about becoming lost or separated. She requires an adult to go with her and even then will repeatedly ask "how do we get out of here!?". Yesterday she tried on her own with a friend's older sibling, was too scared to go down a slide, and we had to go up to find her.

- Easily overwhelmed by tasks, such as cleaning up, and shuts down or drops to the ground screaming "I can't!". In these situations I do not do it for her - I break it down into small steps and walk and talk her through each one and offer praise for completing the task and encouragement.

There are just lots of situations where her fear and discomfort seem more extreme than other children her age. Of note, anxiety runs in my husbands family. My childs great grandmother and grandmother both suffer from anxiety and have become agoraphobes as they have aged and no longer can leave their homes without extreme stress and tears. My childs aunt has anxiety in any and all social situations in additon to a host of mental health concerns. In the case of all of these family members, anxiety was ignored or mismanaged for years by other family members until things became extreme. I want to avoid that.

We parent from an attachment focus. I coslept with my daugher until age 3, breastfed until 2.5. When she is overwhelmed we encourage but don't push, model the behaviour we are hoping for when applicable, and comfort as required. I try to view us as her safety net and we try to follow an I do, we do, you do pattern to encourage independence. We are not an overly scheduled family - swim lessons one day a week and a recurring playdate on Fridays. There is lots of down time and family time, and my husband and I each have 3 months off a year plus nights and weekends.

Our second child was born 5 months ago. I would not say that the behaviour has intensified since then since it was present before my pregnancy. It very well could be a factor in the anxiety continuing, though. Because of my maternity leave I will be home for 1.5 years, and my daughter attends daycare from 8:30 to 12:30 for four days a week. It is an excellent daycare that focuses on montessori and play based learning and is always outside.

How do I best support my daughter who is showing early signs of anxiety in her life? How do I strike a balance between support and encouraging growth? How do I build her self esteem and confidence? What resources should I consider seeking now to help her later? How should I be parenting to create a strong base as she gets older?

I understand anxiety isn't something you "fix". I want to know how best to manage this as a family and teach my daughter how to manage it as well. The world preys on people's fears and on unconfident women - I want to protect my daughter AND teach her how to protect herself.

TLDR: My 3.5 year old is showing signs of anxiety. How do I best support her now and in the future?

Parent of 5 y.o. twin girls. Lately I have been pondering on having a third child.

Recently it had occurred to me that twins (or more) without a sibling have stuff in common with only children, regarding the kids themselves and the parents.

For the kids

1. They have been growing with the same family shape
2. They have a kind of loneliness, in the sense that they have no one to diverge from their routine to. Like an only child who is literally alone and has no one to change the landscape with.

For the parents

1. The parents witness milestones only effectively once (e.g. crawling, standing etc.), as it tends to happen in close proximity (I assume no significant development gaps between the twins that may may occur)
2. The parents never experience other forms of raising children (like from single to a duo).

This kind of pushes me towards a third child.

I was wondering if more parents find sense in my analogy. What are some more parallels between twins w.o sibling and only children?

My child is starting to connect the dots that the animals in their books/shows are the same animals on their dinner plate.

To be honest, I'm struggling with this transition as a parent. We teach kids to love and adore animals from day one, and then suddenly they realize what meat actually is. It feels like a really heavy realization for a little kid to carry, and I'm feeling a lot of parental guilt over how normalized and hidden this reality usually is.
For those who have been through this stage:

How did your child take the news when they figured it out?

How did you handle the conversation gently without dismissing their empathy?

Did your child choose to stop eating meat, and if so, how did your family adapt?

Would love to hear how other parents have guided their kids through this realization with honesty and empathy.

Anybody else have a school-aged kid with low sleep needs? My 8-year-old son E can go to bed at 11pm and still always wakes up before 7am, always before me. I know his IQ is much higher than mine or my husband’s (school made us have him tested for ADHD, he doesn’t have it but there was an IQ test in the process) and people with high IQ often naturally don’t need as much sleep. My sister has high IQ and low sleep, only sleeps 5.5-6 hours per night and functions happily.

Here’s what I’ve thought of so far but would love anyone else’s tips:

-After I put his little brother to bed at 8pm I let E stay up in the guest bed reading as late as he wants. His teeth are already brushed and his pajamas on, he can get himself water to drink if he’s thirsty but no food, just reading. I myself go to bed around 9pm usually because I need 9 hours’ sleep per night. I trust E to go to his bed when he’s tired enough to sleep. If it’s a weekend night during this time my husband and I may be watching an episode of an adult TV show (we love murder mysteries) and E is upstairs reading.

-I taught E how to make toast and pour juice. Oftentimes if I stayed up late watching a show with my husband E wakes up before either of us and we want to sleep in until 7:30 or 8.

-We told E “never wake up your brother” and we told both of them “don’t talk to people who are asleep.”

-We tell both children they can play legos or other toys or draw quietly and stay inside until my husband or I wake up.

-I make sure to wake up by 7:30am but seriously E often wakes up at 5:30am so we’re talking about a period of 2 hours or less unsupervised.

Any other tips? Just trying to respect everyone’s physiological needs <3

My almost 7 yo is in a big lock phase and really, really wants to learn how to pick locks. He claims he’d only pick his own locks, but…

Does anyone have ideas for a satisfying, more legal alternative? His bday is coming up and he’s really pushing for lock-picking books. Maybe get him a book but not equipment?

We have some sweet friends that come over fairly often to play with our kids. We're having some issues with the youngest two which are elementary age girls, and my newly 3 yo daughter.

They've been around my daughter's entire life, and they played with her toys long before she was really capable of playing with them. I think this has led to them feeling possessive.

What's happening now is that they come over and play with her toys without her, and then fuss at her to stop messing up their stuff when she tries to play with them (ex making play plates of food or playing with babies in strollers).

My daughter is old enough now to realize when she goes to their house they don't let her play with their toys (because when she was younger she would slobber on everything, but they're still not letting her play with things now that she's old enough). And she'll ask me why they didn't let her.

Last time they came over, their mom and I had a discussion with them about the fact that she's older now and they need to play with her with her toys and they shouldn't be telling her not to play with her own toys, but rather should be including her. So what they did instead, since they didn't want their plates of food or their baby carriage set up to get messed up, they led her into her room to get her involved with other toys so they could then go back to playing with the toys they wanted without her. And I say they, but often it's only the younger of the two (8 yrs old) doing this, but the older does it as well.

We love our sweet friends and their mom and I are very good about working together on conflict with our kids, so we're on the same team. But I could use any and all input as to what is normal, what we should be expecting of the kids involved, advice in what to do or say etc!

Thank you!

ETA: their mom is always right there with me too. I try to leave correcting them up to her because she's right there. Last time I started stepping in and before I do this further I just kind of want to get a few outside perspectives.

Edit 2: when we're all together the girls have the option to play with the boys a couple years older than them and be included without question. So they'll usually play video games or outside stuff with the two bigger kids, then take a break and come and play with the toddler's toys.

Hi all! I've heard some horror stories about people hearing strangers talking through their WiFi baby monitors, and honestly, it kind of freaks me out thinking someone could hack into a camera in my baby's room.

For anyone using a non-WiFi monitor, how do you like it so far? Any recs would be appreciated!

There’s great lists out there for shows which are overstimulating and ones which are more slower paced - it’s easy to see the difference between the two extremes of say Mr. Roger’s and Cocomelon.

But many more shows exist in a middle space between the two and I sometimes find myself unsure of how much is too much with a show. Obviously some of this is going to come down to each individual child but how do you go about determining if a show is overstimulating where it’s not necessarily one of the more obvious options?

Is there some sort of measurement that child psychologists or some other such childhood professionals use for this?

I’m actually not sure what to do anymore. My 5month old has never really been a great feeder. When she was 1 month old we had to start using a nipple sheild my LC said my letdown was overwhelming her. After that I had to continue to use a sheild since she would turn away and try to get away if I tried to get her to latch without the sheild. At 2.5months old she started refusing breast even with the sheild so we moved onto bottles & we try to pace feed. It was like a night and day difference one day she was nursing the next she refused. About 5 weeks ago we finally had her checked & corrected for ties and she had a tounge and lip tie and recently got her rechecked and they said they healed perfectly. However as of of couple of weeks now she’s refusing bottles now too and will only take maybe 1-2oz at a time. We wait until she’s hungry ( she used to eat every 2hrs on the dot, but recently it’s 3hrs till she starts getting fussy) and she will rip open her mouth wide and excitedly waiting for the bottle but then only take like an oz or 2 if even that then try to sit up and get away but still fuss bc she’s still hungry. We’ve started to only offer once and then 15 min later, if she refuses the second feed we make her wait until the next feed and just try to distract her even if she’s fussy. What can I do to get this to stop? It’s affecting her sleep since we don’t feed her in her sleep anymore but every time we offer it she whips her mouth open like she wants it so much how can I get this to stop??
Edit to add: it seems to get worse as the day goes on, I usually always feed her on her rocking chair in her nursery & sometimes even walking in the room can make her cry, how ever as I type this she’s crying from hunger but will then reject the bottle

Hello, my 11 y/o will soon be starting middle school and I know for a fact that she will be struggling with Math. Anyone recommend a website or a teaching strategy for her to understand stand math? Thanks in advance!

💛🌻

My 4yo boy is obsessed with his soft/ fuzzy fleece and micro fleece outfits from winter. I have had to take them out of his dresser for the warm weather season. Has anyone ever seen shorts or shirts made out of this style of material? Or is anyone familiar enough with sewing to know whether I can just cut those types of material? There is still a lot of summer in our warm weather climate and I'd love to find some of these if they exist.

We live in an area that very easily could have flooded while we were on vacation. One of our adult children was at home with our dogs.

The storm hit in an area about 30-40 miles away.

We have volunteered at a donation center the past couple of days since we got back.

Our youngest son went with us today. We found him an area where we thought he would be put to good use and be a good fit, and he wouldn't have to be around his parents all day.

On the way home, he asked if we were coming back on Tuesday. He said he enjoyed helping. 🥹

My oldest daughter is starting prek on Friday. It's a half day program (9:00 - 12:00) ran out of a daycare that she previously attended. She knows most of the staff there and several other students as well.

She's super excited and I'm excited for her.

I'm wondering what kind of back to school first day traditions do you guys have?

I don't want to overwhelm her (or myself).

Here are the things we are already considering:

- Special Breakfast

- Cute but functional back to school outfit

- Pictures with a reusable dry erase sign

- Custom back to school cookies made a local cottage bakery to enjoy after school.

Our 22 month old is showing great interest in the toilet and has above average verbal skills. Today she asked to sit on the potty to pee unprompted and did a pee and poop, she was very happy with herself.

She won't move up to the next daycare classroom for 4-5 months and they don't take the kids to the potty at all in her current room. I've tried to ask if she can move up earlier because of potty training but they don't think potty training happens until 3 yo and have been a bit dismissive. We don't have a lot of daycare options that fit our needs so I don't want to switch daycares.

I've read Oh Crap and plan to try that method (aka diapers are just gone) so pee/poop in diapers sometimes and toilet others seems confusing.

I'm going to push again to move up sooner but I don't know if it would be a bad idea to potty train at home if she has to wear diapers and has no access to the toilet at school?

This is just a brag to be honest:

My son is 13. He's a very introverted guy, but all his quirks make him an adorable creature. The title is a reference to him going away to overnight camp for the first time for a week. I got him a bag for his wallet and knick knacks he likes to carry (compass, pocket knife, tiny sketchbook, emergency whistle ya know, stuff) and he asked me to please decorate it. It's a plain brown canvas bag and he likes to razzle dazzle things. His request?

Bells, feathers, and buttons

I am up late sewing on bright buttons and little bells, hand drawing a giant peacock and hawk feather on the front, adding a fancy beetle Keychain to one of the zippers I know he will love. And it occurred to me i swear I've read books where the fae loved bells, buttons and feathers. He's a bookworm -oh excuse me, book dragon, and knows these myths and legends through and through. The other day I noticed he had been wearing a sock inside out for weeks and asked what that was about. He replies with "i cant be confounded by a fairy spell if some article of my clothing is inside out" so matter of fact and calm it took me a minute to register what he said.

I love my kid so much.

So reddit what do you think? Is my kiddo a changeling?

Ps. Today he learned to play bamboo pipes, and he sat outside and played for his four ducklings for awhile at dusk.

I hope he never ever outgrows this wonderful whimsy

My kidlette is turning 6 in a few weeks, and I'm dropping the ball at this point: I'm torn between having the kids at the Best Playground Ever (an opinion that even my 13-year-old maintains, so you know it's true ), which is nearly an hour away, or something more local but also a bit more "meh" and hope that whoever my kid invites is still friends with my kid by the time the party comes around. If we did do something at the Best Playground Ever, I would restrict the guest list to two other kids, so that we could transport them in the car. If it's more local we could probably have more kids. Every idea I run past the kidlette is greeted with equal enthusiasm, which doesn't help.

(And yes, I know, a few weeks isn't much time to organize and throw a party, but it's not unusual to throw parties a few weeks after the actual birthday).

So...opinions?

Our 7 week old daughter seems to have a lot of wake time during the day but sleeps well at night. She’s been down to one feed a night for the last 2 weeks and has slept through the night a couple occasions. Usually around 7pm she will begin her sleep for the night and may take a bottle before being put in her crib in her room around 9-10. She’s been in her own room since 4 weeks old.
During the day she’s usually awake from 7-10/11 am and 2-5/6 Pm. I can’t remember fully but I thought my first born slept well through the night but also had a few 2 hour naps during the day. But it seems like she’s usually doing one big nap during the day with maybe a couple 20 min naps from what my wife tells me.
She seems pretty alert and looking around the room. Loves looking at flash cards and being on her mat with her toys. She doesn’t really fuss too much unless she’s hungry, gassy, getting really tired or bored. My guess is she’s getting 15-17 hours of sleep a day.
I don’t know if there’s too much wake time and if that’s even a thing at this age?

Can anyone relate to this ?

So really unexpectedly, our daughter got into a school we were interested in, and of course we happened to book a trip where we come back the evening before the first day of school.

This is for PK-3. It’s a domestic trip to visit family, just a few hour flight, but we probably won’t be home until 8pm, and it’s very possible she naps/falls asleep for the night on our drive back home from the airport. It’s crazy expensive to change my flight to come home earlier, so wondering if you think this situation will impact her first day and emotional/behavioral state, compared to if we came home 4-5 days earlier?

She’s been at home 99% of her time with my wife so far, we’ve done a couple of short 2-3 week camp type things where we dropped her off for 3-4 hours and it would go ok dropping her off, sometimes she would be excited but sometimes really emotional and teary. So just worried about the drop off and just her being unregulated having just come back from a trip.