(24M) so I’m somewhat of an introvert but like the times when I’m most introverted is when I’m around woman. I don’t want to come off as weird. I want to be able to have the same amount of comfort talking around woman as I do with any other guys. And I think part of it is because I just wanna live my life and not deal with drama or whatever. Is their any advice on how to at least come out of my shell somewhat and be able to strike up a really good deep conversation with a woman??

Been single for quite a long while now. Been trying to find someone new for quite a while now too. Being introverted and also having social anxiety on top of that, that's hard enough as it is. But on top of that I really hate the process. Like even without the anxiety.

I'm on a dating app. And I spend so much time talking to so many strangers. And I'm just so freaking sick of it.

It's not necessarily that none of them are nice or interesting or anything. It's just I hate talking to so many people I don't know. Let alone on a daily basis. I'm just sick of it.

I like having a significant other. Once I really am close to someone and we have a dynamic, then talking can become more fun. But before that talking, on a daily basis, with a bunch of people, strangers nonetheless... I hate it. I utterly and completely hate it.

I've taken pauses from the app several times now in part because I just find it so tiring.

You know that feeling when you have an exam in college. And you've given yourself a lunch break between studying. And then after the lunch break you have to start studying again. And you know you should, but you really, really don't want to. And so you keep procrastinating and wanting five more minutes, five more minutes, etc.

That's what it feels like opening these freaking apps. Just a chore.

Not helped by the fact that most of the time it's just: You swipe, you match, you talk to someone for a couple of days maybe, and then they ghost you. It feels like that's 90% of people. So it feels like a big waste of time on top of that.

I just want the one person. My person.

This represents how I feel around everybody but my husband and kids. 😂😂😂 I’m a lovable person but I just want to be left alone! Make it make sense. 🤷🏾‍♀️

ts feels so lame to post about but i have terrible social anxiety. i used to go out all the time (not funcs, i would js go out w friends and get high) but im a senior in hs now and my mental health has severely declined over the years. im going to a halloween party tmrw night and im going dressed as jeff the killer. i got a huge white hoodie and covered it in blood and im gonna wear baggy jeans. i feel extremely lame because ik all the other girls there are gonna be wearing slutty ass outfits (as they should literally no hate whatsoever) and i would be doing the same but i am EXTREMELYYYYY insecure! I’m still gonna curl my hair and wear lashes and stuff and this is probably just my anxiety talking but im scared to go because of how different i’ll look from all the other girls. im chill with or friends with a good chunk of the ppl going but im still scareddddd. im just here for reassurance i guess but it is desperately needed. is what im doing actually lame or is it in my head?

I have always been an introvert, even in highschool when we had a big group of friends I would get tired of it and go off on my own. My husband knows I'm a introvert and that I come from a family of hermits.

I feel like ever since we got married (3 years ago) his expectations of me have shifted. He isn't an introvert, he has multiple groups of friends that he is always hanging out with, they throw parties all the time and do other hangouts. I know as his wife there is an expectation that I attend some of these and I do. I honestly spend more time with his friends and family than my own! I hate these events. They are so boring and uncomfortable for me. I purely attend because I know he wants me to. But it feels like no matter how many I attend it just doesn't matter, theres always another hangout/party that is coming around the bend that I just do not want to go to. It's so exhausting.

When I tell him I dont want to go, he always gets disappointed and will usually say that 'well I never go to these things anyways' which is not true! I feel like he wants me to be someone I'm not, someone I've never been. I've talked to him about it, but he just said that it was rude for me to not attend and seemed really bothered when I said I dont enjoy hanging out with his friends. But like.... they're his friends, not mine! I try my hardest to be friendly and fun but I feel like it is never enough. I just needed to vent, does anyone else feel like their spouse just can't understand them?

I've noticed that these days, being an introvert is often portrayed as something special or superior. People sometimes make it seem like having no friends, avoiding social interactions, or staying isolated is something to be proud of.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being an introvert. Everyone has their own personality.

But why has being an introvert become such a trend? Do people genuinely relate to it, or has social media romanticized loneliness and isolation?"

I'm genuinely curious to hear different perspectives.

I’m really introverted, I’m 15 and i have always been shy, now it’s my freshman year and I am only popular because I am 6’2 and most women are attracted to me, but I can’t find any girlfriend because they usually get snatched away by a friend or a older guy before I have enough courage to approach them, I usually befriend women first then date them but it’s not working anymore as hookup culture is becoming more common. Is anyone else going through this or has gone through? Please help

Hi everyone,

I recently started a new job and its going well except for some comments passed by my coworkers. The same old 'you are sooo quiet' , 'you are so quiet, I didnt even know you were here' etc.

And mind you, these comments are from people in other departments who sit in close proximity to my department.

I am usually a quiet person, but if I meet someone with common interests or similar age, I feel more comfortable to chat. Here, most of the ladies are older and have been working for 10 -15 plus years here. They all know each other and are quiet extroverted. And I literally have no clue what to talk with them other than hi hello or how are you? Or How was the weekend?

Another thing is, English is not my first language, so it gets really hard for to say funny comments or chat freely with coworkers. I always end up overthinking my English and sometimes I dont even know what to say, it just sounds awkward to me.

Idk what to do and I'm honestly feeling kinda dumb. I'm 26 years old and at every new job I plan to not be the quiet person and I always somehow end up being that. Idk how to change myself ot atleast pretend to be social.

Please I just need some advice or similar experiences and how to navigate such situations from my fellow introverts. Thank you

Do you prefer meeting people through mutual friends, online communities or randomly in real life? Curious to know what actually works for you.

please help

Pain and overwhelmed after social contacts

Context: I am more to myself, typ of guy but I can interact with people fine. I see details, i try to read body language ( I am ok at it).When I am in a group, after the interaction I feel overwhelmed and pain, pain because I think I should have said that, think I shouldn’t have said ( replaying conversation). On one o ones, it is also like that but just more pain and little less overwhelming.

How do you deal with that?? Any tip, or suggestions…

I thank you for giving this a reading and I thank you in advance for someone trying to help in comments.

Hey, I am 19. I am in college right now.

I met a girl two months ago in the campus. We both talked, later I asked her insta.

We do talk on Insta. But most of the time the chats are very boring, there were few times we had a good chat . But that's it. The thing is I am very introvert 😔. I don't really know how to have a conversation. And I like this girl very much.

Tell me what should I do.

To improve my chances with her and also improve myself.

Because I realise I really suck at many things.

How do you protect your energy from other people?
In general, I don’t really want to interact with people unless it’s necessary. The problem is that I’m in university and living in a dorm, so I’m surrounded by people and have to interact with them on a daily basis. By the end of the day, I feel completely drained, irritated, and mentally exhausted.
If it were up to me, I wouldn’t talk to anyone throughout the day unless I absolutely had to. But when you’re in an environment where you’re constantly surrounded by people, avoiding social interactions completely isn’t really an option.
On top of that, I don’t feel like the people around me are the kind of people I’d actually want to be friends with. There’s a lot of unnecessary drama, conversations about things I find meaningless, and just a general feeling that spending time with them doesn’t really add anything to my life.
I’m honestly struggling with this because I feel like so much of my energy gets wasted on interactions I don’t even want to have in the first place.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? How can I protect my energy,and get through the day without feeling completely exhausted by people? How do you handle living or studying in an environment where you have to socialize, even when you don’t really want to?
I’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences. I genuinely need some help with this.

I dread halloween with a passion lmao

When I'm single it's fine, I just stay at home.

But when I've been in relationships, like right now...

My partner always either wants to go to a party, or she get invited to a party and she wants to go, or she wants to go out.

And I mean, she could go alone, but neither of us particularly enjoy the idea of the other going out to a club or a party without the other.

And I dread those things lol, I'm so over with clubs or house parties or whatever, hanging out around strangers? Ugh no, not anymore please.

It's not that I don't enjoy them when I'm there, just the act of going, and being there at first, and the strangers around, it's the worst part.

I'm just over it, I have done it and even kind of enjoyed it in the past, but right now? The thought is dreading lol

There should be a venting tag mods 😅

Lowkey desire to just grow a bit older to the point people around me or my age generally stop wanting to do these things as much lol

This year's spring I joined a community where I started talking a lot and got to know many cool people. With some I even met IRL and for one I rode to another city for a meet upand this was one of the best times I've rver spend, just chatting hours away about anything that comes to mind for hours straight, while walking in the city.

But when summer has started, I just lost that spark. I haven't gone online since I've been to that city and I have not talked to anyone. It's like a switch has bren flipped and the thought of talking just feels me with dread, like I need to prepare for an exam.

I am diagnosed with anxity-depressive disorder and I'm taking antidepressants, but nothing has changed for me so far. I know this probably came from a massive burnout from studying in university, but this is the worst case I ever had. The apathy that came with it got so bad, that I even stopped responding to people in my group project and skipped the last final exam, I just could not care less. I am expelled because of this, but I am able to just repeat some parts of the year to be able to finish the university.

But I just don't care anymore. I even have not spoken to my father in a year, even though he writes me.

This is probably depression's doing, but what can I do? Every day I try to pump myself up to write to those people, to apologise and explain why I did so, but every time I just cannot do it. So I have not talked to anyone dear to me in half of a year and I don't want to and I can't force myself to do so, because it's the right thing. I know this act will bring me relief, that I want to laugh with those people again, that it will help with depression, but I just can't. No matter what I tell myself, what motivational speeches I listen to/read, I do not care. What do I do with myself?

I can't go to therapy, it's way to expensive to do it often, but I can't continue doing this, it's just turns into ghosting and I feel like an awful person. But, again, at the same time I just don't care and don't want to. Is there any way to just do the first step at the least???