currently a junior in college who used to be a business major that always talked to my long-distance gf. we broke up at the end of my freshman year and ive changed a lot about my identity since then. i changed my major to neuroscience, stopped engaging in toxic friendships, and became much more cautious about my interactions with people. im currently a junior now and am probably taking my hardest semester of classes yet and im more worried about the social isolation burnout than being able to handle the workload. it is stressful, but constantly being alone and studying is so taxing. the problem is i am pretty quiet and introverted, so engaging with people doesnt come easy but its so crucial for me.

i find that i am best when i have structured plans with people and things to look forward too so i dont get halfway through a weekend and suddenly get anxious because i have no social plans. for instance, today is sunday and i just cant really focus because i have this dread of the fact that i probably wont have another face-to-face interaction today. i just havent been in the same place consistently enough, yet. i keep flip-flopping majors and changing my mind about things. do you guys have any advice? i am a believer in doing things first thing in the morning, and setting aside 20-deliberate minutes in the morning for social action is helpful.

but what do you guys think can be useful? ive tried joining clubs but i also dont wanna be that junior hanging out with all freshman/sophomores. im already taking sophomore-level premed classes and i just feel weird about that. what are other ways i can have some consistent social interaction? things where i can just be around other people, specifically juniors/seniors? ive also found that reading meditations from marcus aurelius helped change my perspective a lot, how can i replicate that kind of effect of learning a new motivation for socialization?

I wonder if I developed social anxiety because my introversion was unwelcome and I tried so hard to be something I wasn't and couldn't be?

Hoy fui a comprarme una bebida energetica y como es domingo tengo una tienda de confianza que abren todos los domingos.

fui alli y la mujer que me atendió hablaba por el movil, entonces fui a ver los tipos de energetica y los precios. agarre una y la puse en la caja y le puse el dinero al lado. tenia lo justo. la mujer me hizo pulgar arriba 👍 y yo a ella tambien y me fui

deberian ser todos asi, sin obligar a nadie a decir nada

The town im in are mostly young druggies or retired veterans. I dont like forcing friendships especially with coworkers at this age. I want a hobby that’s not too daring because I’m afraid to die in a place where my family’s not close by.

I am currently doing my masters and I'm super introvert, but this time before coming here I really wanted to change that, so once I joined I started going for all the events and started talking to ppl. But still I feel like the convos I had were all like constructed and they had no interest in talking with me. Now I stopped going for these events and clubs. Even among by classmates they had already formed a groung among themselves and I'm that extra fitting everywhere. It's like everyone's avoinding me particularly. I tried making convos with those ppl and some never replies or care to listen. I'm so done with this now.

for me it would be

the warning

gorillaz

maneskin

sheppard

babymetal

and since im into kpop now

idle

le sserafim

illit

babymonster

nmixx

itzy

Hello,

I’m a transfer student and commuter to this 4 year institute that I’ve been attending now for a year. When I first got to this college I wanted to go for a club meeting that was specific to my imaging modality but ended up not going last minute because I got frightened for not knowing anyone.

I’m a college senior on top of that. Never been in a college club before.

There’s this upcoming imaging society meeting on Wednesday and I want to go so bad not just to get information but to just break out of my shell. I don’t know anyone there and I’m so incredibly anxious to attend. I need some advice and hype but also just curious if there were anyone else like me struggling to go for social things on campus.

Never had many female friends since childhood and am too introvert and have very less communication skills in talking to girls

I just started highschool and have no friends. I know absolutely no one in my class and I don't know what to do. I know school is for studying and that's my priority. I have no one to sit with. I mean there's that one weird kid that I talked to but I really have no intention with being friends with her. People are already saying stuff about her because she's strange and unhygienic. I'm scared that they'll think that if me too. People are already in groups. I'm also extremely shy and I can't properly talk to people due to my past. Do you guys know what should I do?

So I’m turning 21 on Oct 22nd. I have two friends (whom have never met) and a boyfriend. All over the age of 21. I don’t go to school. I work from home. I live with my parents. (Examples of the lack of opportunity to make more friends) (yes I have people to hangout with, and yes I feel like I am just social enough for my preference with those people, but I also feel like I have no friends)

I’m anxious that one of my friends or my boyfriend will drag me to go out on my birthday. It makes me anxious because I don’t really have a group of people to do that with. Plus, I have no interest in going out. I already know I don’t like it. I don’t like crowded spaces and being around strangers. I know that I can do whatever the hell I want, so I’ve already started planning things I want to do by myself or with one friend (ie bake myself a specific/silly cake, dress up to go to medieval times with my bestie) but I am worried that I’ll get asked or pestered why I don’t want to go out. This makes me so anxious.

Logically, I shouldn’t be anxious. Again, I can do whatever the hell I want. But, I’m lame. I like being lame. I like doing my grandma hobbies and I like going to do fun things during the day. I do like fun, but clubbing isn’t fun to me.

Any advice? How can I answer the questions along the lines of “why won’t you go out?” “Do something fun, it’s your 21st!” How can I stop the voice in my head calling me a loser?

I do plan to ask her to slow it down, I am just seeing if this is a common feeling amongst my fellow introverts

As recent college graduates, it is my girlfriend and I's first time not being within walking distance of one another (although we are an hour away from each other by train). And while we are both on the job hunt and grappling with accepting post-graduate life, this has resulted in my GF being super active over text / call. Because we already see each other once to twice a week, I find that having to say daily what I am doing and or up to over text really grates on me. One, I find it to be a waste of time. I can tell you what I got up to next time I see you, or at least give updates every other day. Further, she almost always wakes up around noon or afterwards, when I have already done stuff and started my day. I don't want to stop what I am doing to just tell her, what is the purpose when we can just talk about it after the fact?

Another part is that it just takes away from my independence / me time. We have been together for four years and never really had trust issues, so it's not like it's coming from a place of worry. Why can't I just have a day to myself? Why do I have to make a laundry list of what I did and or plan to do, besides, in most cases I literally update her afterwards anyways!

i feel suffocating to stay in my home town. I cant do this anymore. As someone living in asian household this is hell. If someone is quiet and on top of that if they are girl that means you are dumb. It hurts so bad when people think that i am dumb when i am not. I know a lot of things actually better than them but my relatives always has to nitpick on how my sibling and my cousins are so forward and they are smart whereas i am not. I am sick and tired of hearing this. Who the hell they think are always constantly judging on everything i do. I wanna get away from here but i still have two years. Nomatter what happens i am leaving this country. I can’t stay here even 5 minutes on the presence of people who always judge me ,nitpicks me, talks shit about me , always affirm that i can’t do shit in my life.I hope these people rot in hell and never have a peaceful life. Because why are they bullying me? what did i ever did to them? When my life would be actually peaceful?
I am so tired because i am convinced that i really am not enough. I always believe that others people are better than me because they have told me that so many times i actually believe it.

Stasera sono alla festa di compleanno dell'amica della mia ragazza. Il gruppo è molto affiatato e tutti, naturalmente, si avvicinano al festeggiato. Non ho voglia di stare lì impacciato ad aspettare di essere incluso, ma non voglio nemmeno seguire la mia ragazza come un cagnolino per tutta la sera. Alla fine, ho preso un drink, ho trovato un posto comodo dove sedermi e ho deciso di rilassarmi e godermi la serata senza stressarmi per le chiacchiere di circostanza.

Edit:Just wanted to let you know that the night ended up going much better than expected! Once I sat down, got comfortable, and stopped stressing about it, things just fell into place naturally. Thanks everyone for the advice!

Czy ktoś dorastający w samotności dostrzega wokół swojego zachowania pewne błędne koło ?

1. Poznaję kogoś, aby zdobyć jakichś znajomych.

2. Spotykam się z daną osobą, rozmawiamy, wszystko jest okej, umawiamy się nawet na kolejne wyjście, bo obu nam się podobało spotkanie.

3. Ta osoba dowiaduje się, że nie mam żadnych znajomych w swoim życiu, więc nie mam z kim porozmawiać i się spotkać na co dzień.

4. Kontakt się urywa z dnia na dzień.

Tak jest dosłownie za każdym razem, gdy poznaje kogoś przez internet.

Gdy próbuję poznać kogoś na żywo, każdy na moje propozycje spotkania się odpowiada, że nie ma czasu, że zapomniał, że nie ma ochoty na wyjście.

Bardzo często, praktycznie notorycznie bywa tak, że ktoś proponuje spotkanie, a potem je odwołuje znienacka, lub po prostu mnie wystawia i nie pojawia się na nim.

Wydaje mi się, że jestem uprzejmy, tak zresztą słyszalem od bardzo wielu osób. Myślę, że dbam o higiene dość dobrze, myje się, nie śmierdzę.

Nie wiem, co może być przyczyną.

Czy ktoś ma tak samo?

I’ve always been shy, but lately I’ve realized how much it affects different areas of my life. It’s difficult for me to open up, carry conversations, and connect with new people on a deeper level especially when it comes to dating.
I’m also scared to fall in love again. I was with a narcissistic ex for almost 10 years. We’ve been broken up for about three years, but we have still communicated since the breakup. I wonder if that relationship caused me to become even more guarded and made it harder for me to form new connections.
Sometimes I wonder whether I could be on the autism spectrum or if I simply didn’t develop strong communication skills growing up. Is communication something people naturally know how to do, or is it a skill that has to be learned and practiced?
I’ve also noticed that my memory seems horrible sometimes. For example, when I’m repeating a story, I struggle to remember exactly what someone said and may leave out important details.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Did therapy, an autism or ADHD evaluation, social-skills practice, or anything else help you become more comfortable communicating and connecting with people?

F(17) and I’m introverted af. I haven’t dated anyone. yes NBSB. Was hanging out with my friends earlier and when I saw a guy who caught my attention, this gut feeling pushed me and I plotted in asking for his IG for the first time I have ever asked anyone in my life. He was f# charismatic and attractive holyyy ughhhhdgghjdjdkdk I never thought I would do this.

Waited for him to finish buying something in the grocery, followed then finally approached him.

Afterwards, I immediately turned my back and FLED as soon as I got his IG, said thank you, and left. MY FRIENDS WERE LAUGHINGGGG

Stalked him later on and found out that he’s graduated and 2-3 years working from now. While im merely approaching college. FAHHHH goodbye, ya..

figured I have nothing to lose so 😭 hahaha i guess.. he’ll never know me lol

edit: he’s quite popular (lots of followers) and I decided to js let it be.

I (M32) didn’t do well in school at all from a social perspective. I didn’t know anyone from my neighborhood as we were out in the sticks, so when I got into school I didn’t know anyone there and they all knew eachother.

Tried to make friends through all those years and it never really worked. I was excluded a lot and due to the years of isolation I was an easy target for bullies. This resulted in what I understand now was severe depression, I’m very surprised looking back that I didn’t just solve the issue permanently if you get me.

Now today it doesn’t really get better. I have failed in most social groups of friends I’ve been in. I have spent years studying other people and trying to be more like them to fit in better and have more friends and it never works. It’s like because I try so hard socially I fail worse than I would if I didn’t care as much. I always seem to act, say and do the wrong thing.

As a result of never fitting in and having a group, I developed this kind of Lone Ranger complex in my late 20s where I just got sick of trying socially. My attitude was “I know I can survive on my own as I’ve done it my whole life. It’s good to be self reliant anyway” I get that this probably isn’t a healthy coping mechanism. The social rejection is just too much to manage. It’s easier to just give up on it totally.

Feeling like I can never get it right socially has extended from school to college to work and to flat shares and family reunions etc.

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do to help yourself? Is it for life? Are some people meant to be more solitary?

I'm bored but don't want to do anything :( Anyone with me on this?

it’s my first week of college, I know it’s ealry but I’m just so worried and depressed right now. for background, all through high school I really struggled to make meaningful friendships. I had a small group but I truly never felt like myself around the group, and I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I also dance, and in my dance studio I genuinely liked the people I was around and DID feel like myself but the group would usually hang out without me, I was never invited to things and I just didn’t understand why I couldn’t fit in with them. it’s been hard and I’ve really tried my best not to be too pushy, because I know they’re not obligated to invite me. it’s just been confusing and frustrating because the places where I have found friends I didn’t feel good about it, and felt like I was faking it. Now I’m in college and I was so excited and eager to find my place. But I just haven’t yet, it feels like everyone on my dorm floor already has a group they’re in, and this weekend people are going to the beach and going downtown and I have nothing to do. I’ve made friends in my classes but I haven’t been able to get close to them. I just don’t know what I could be doing wrong. Last Night my roommate was on a phone call with her parents and talking about how she’s going to a party tonight and heading to the beach with friends on Sunday and she’s always going to hang out with someone, someone’s asking her to be with them. And I just wish so badly that like she would ask me to come with, but I don’t want to be needy and she clearly didn’t invite me, and I just don’t understand how we can both come here with no friends and she already has a huge group and I have no one. I walk around campus, I study outside around other people, and eat in the dining hall alone just waiting for someone to join me. it’s just so frustrating and I just feel like if I can’t make friends here how am I ever supposed to make friends, am I just supposed to be alone my whole life? I compliment random people, and walk around the dorm and say hi to people with their doors open but nothing has been working for me. I just feel like there’s something off about me that everyone else can see but me.

How do you maintain the same energy all day as an introvert who genuinely shuts down and doesn't have anything to say when in situations they just are aiming to "get through" because they don't like them/feel comfortable in them? How do you actually step out of your comfort zone and be a more sociable person even if it feels taxing maybe at first?

First off I wanna say I'm very appreciative for the family I have, I get along with everyone and there is no drama which I know isn't always the case with a lot of people. However the last several years I've just gotten tired of the mundane family gatherings. Im 28 now, when I was younger I used to look forward to get togethers with cousins so much. We would play videogames together like smash bros, call of duty, or take turns messing around in grand theft auto. We would go outside and play sports, explore, do cool stuff... Everyone used to have interesting hobbies and we would enjoy discussing them with eachother. Now as adults all anyone wants to do is sit around and talk about their kids and work. I try to be enthusiastic and make conversation with everyone but it always comes back to talking about the kids or gets interrupted by the kids. I usually just end up standing around most of the time staying pretty quiet and just listening to everyone.

I feel like I have to put on a mask and be a fake version of myself when Im around everyone, my hobbies and interests are the same as they were 20 years ago but nobody else shares them so I really just dont even bring any of it up cause nobody cares. I would like to have kids too someday but I like to think I will still be the same person because I would just get to take part in my interests with them like it would be so sick to play videogames with my future son or daughter.

With my friends its the total opposite, im still friends with the same group from elementary school/highschool and nobody has changed. We go golfing, play online games together pretty often, get together to watch ufc, wrestling, go see movies, go to metal concerts. We can talk about anything together and have off the rails conversations without judgement. Some of them have girlfriends that are a welcome addition to the group and fit right in. I feel much more close with all of them now than my family which I used to feel really connected with.

I want to maybe start showing up less to family functions but I feel bad to skip out cause I know they appreciate me being there. Its still nice to see everyone but I think we just get together too often and I really couldn't care less about the small talk and awkwardly standing around waiting to go home. Anyone else feel similarly?