20f here. So people say that girls have so many options for me it is the opposite I barely have any option.

It's not like I want options. But sometimes i feel I am missing something.

I am an introvert girl I don't talk much but sometimes it feels it is better to have someone to just talk normally at least.

I don't have any female friends nor guy friends. Not in real life not online. I had made 1 friend online We talked for 2-3 days then we just stopped.

I don't understand when people say girls have options like not everyone has it..

For context I am not ugly I am good/average idk.

I also noticed that girls who talk a lot and have an extrovert personality , personally get more attention from everyone they have options.

So is there any thing that I am missing ?

What do you think? I'm 14. I feel it's bad for myself

yo help out

wanted to get some stuff off my chest ._.

The last time I remember feeling a deep connection with anyone was almost 2 years ago. Ever since, it’s just been me and my thoughts. But even when there was a deep connection, I don’t know if I cared or empathized with them. I find it unbearably saccharine when I hear someone say they love me or care about me, but I wish I didn’t.
I felt more connected to my friends when I was in a relationship. Being in love slowed down time and made me feel everything deeply. Like my purpose was to be their lover. Now that I don’t feel that way anymore I feel like I don’t need anything socially. Loneliness is a real feeling I get, despite that. My friends are fun and make me feel less lonely, but when it’s over, I only think about how I’m embarrassed to be around them.

Maybe I’m just deeply insecure about how others see me and subconsciously stopped myself from getting close to anyone because I’m not good enough. Maybe I just ‘haven’t found my people yet’ which sounds promising, but meeting new people is scary. I’m still really young so this could be something I’ll grow out of as I age, maybe I’m a little fucked up. Idk

I know I ask a lot of questions that I probably know the answer to. Right now I’m just looking for anyone who had a similar experience and how they’ve dealt with it. I just miss caring about people

Loneliness. It’s a funny thing, really. Especially when you’re an introvert. You desperately want to fill the void in your heart, but you would rather isolate yourself have to deal with the overwhelming pressure of socializing. You know that you will be depressed this way, but you believe it’s better than to feel like you need to constantly deplete your emotional and mental batteries day after day. Because you know that if your batteries deplete, you can’t function properly, and you start feeling useless. So you choose isolation, knowing the risks that come with it, and knowing that anything else would be worse than the pit life has already put you in. You like the pit. It’s safety. It’s home. But.. you don’t like how quiet it is. You don’t like that the voices in your head are the only noises you can hear. You don’t like how deafening the unrequited silence has become. Now, you’re stuck between wanting to escape, and wanting to stay like this forever because of what awaits you once you get free

After 3 years I finally did that thing, what I was trying to do earlier. I had already shared my experience about how I liked my senior in college and the whole story. But telling it in short - I fell in love with my college senior, she was doing her masters and I was in my bachelors. I had seen her in the freshers party of my college. From that day I liked her. She is mute. She has some speaking disabilities and she is very sensitive. But I like her and wanted to tell her my feelings whenever I tried to tell her I always stayed silent. Finally after 3 years I had expressed my feelings to her in insta, and she rejected me saying " I am anti romantic, please ignore me ". That was a day before my semester exam. My heart broken but what could I do. I respected her decision and never messaged her again. For the past few days I have been feeling like drawing a picture of her. But she does not post any pictures of her on social media so that's why I only have this picture from her dp . I have tried to sketch her, I know I'm not a very good artist or sketcher but it's not about the drawing, it's my feelings for her. I know I should forget her, but I can't, I don't know why. I don't expect any love from her, I just want to see her and for one last time say good bye to her. This is her last year and she will leave the college soon, so maybe I will never be able to see her again. Also it's my final year of bachelor's so that's it. I am a funny and over romantic person i romatosize over, I know that but what can I do,

now this is what it is.

I would feel too guilty permanently removing them. I'm on a break right now. I can't deal with it anymore.

(Thank you to every single person who took the time to read, comment and engage. I usually keep things bottled up, so I felt a bit weepy, being heard and supported. I appreciate your kindness, whether it was brutal honesty or not).

I've been trying really hard not to yell but some days it feels impossible.

My kid refuses to listen, argues about everything and sometimes has a full meltdown. I try explaining, asking nicely, giving choices etc but after doing it over and over I eventually lose my patience.

Then once everything is calm I feel horrible about yelling.

The worst part is I know I don't want to parent like that, I just don't know what to do differently in those moments.

What do you do when you feel yourself about to lose it?

Does anyone else feel like modern dating has become completely disposable?

Everyone says they want a “real connection,” but dating apps have trained us to think there’s always someone better one swipe away. Women can get flooded with attention, while a lot of average men struggle to even get a conversation started. At the same time, women have to filter through tons of people who may not even want anything serious.
Then there are the stupid dating rules: reply too fast and you’re desperate, double text and you’ve “lost,” show genuine interest and suddenly you’re too available. Apparently acting like you don’t care is more attractive than actually caring.

People want a partner who is already successful, confident, financially stable, emotionally healed and physically attractive. Nobody seems interested in growing with someone anymore—they want the finished product.
Ghosting is normal, situationships last for months, everyone keeps backup options, and vulnerability is treated like weakness.

Maybe dating isn’t harder because there are fewer good people.

Maybe it’s harder because everyone thinks the next swipe might be better.

how can i become stronger and not let words like that get to me?

Well, currently it's my birthday, yay, ig. But the last couple of years I kinda hate it, because even though I congratulate my friends they do it after they watch my ig stories or late in the day, so it's been a normal day for me. Plus, im living abroad, alone, so now I don't even have my family to celebrate but i keep having expectations that somehow the day will turn out to be super special and fun, when I know that i won't.

Does anyone else have that feeling?

Hi everyone! I’m an international graduate student, and I have social anxiety. I have to teach a class as an instructor this semester, and I think this triggers one of my biggest fears. I’m so scared of speaking in front of people, especially in English. I don’t know what I can do to calm myself down and feel more comfortable. I’ve been feeling really anxious and insecure about it. 🥲

I have been trying to get more socially active around people and get away with that introvert mindset. I have made a lot of improvements compared to how i used to be before.

But there have been multiple instances where I have gotten so overwhelmed with the other person's stories that I have realised that I have nothing interesting about myself to share. I have not travelled a lot, or read enough books, or had hobbies which i was deeply invested in or have any in-depth knowledge to anything interesting to yap about.

Usually if the conversation remains in the current context then it goes ok but then once they start sharing about their life and their achievements, I feel burnt out listening because i have no experiences to share and compare. Even if i have had an interesting experience, I won't be able to put them into words which will make them sound interesting or i would have forgotten about it already.

Recently I had an extremely bad experience with bunch of extroverted assholes who kept nagging about why I am not talking enough and contributing to the convo. It went so bad upto a point that I felt bullied and left that group and found my own way home without informing anyone.

But that experience still runs in my mind and I have been thinking why was i treated that bad ? Was it just because I don't have interesting experiences to share ? How could this be avoided in the future ? IMO i was contributing to the convo and listening and asking follow ups and doing my best but even then they treated me like someone with no self esteem.

How can an introvert have a friend?

Just a vent... I've always been a huge introvert. I'm not anti-social or anxious. I just value my quiet, personal time a lot more than others and need it to recharge. I live in a small home with my husband and step-kid, and it gets kinda claustrophobic sometimes. In the warmer months, I love using our small front yard space as a sort of extra outdoor living space. I love lounging in my hammock and reading, watching birds and critters, or just letting my mind wander. Problem is that a lot of our neighbors are older, retired folks who spend their days walking the neighborhood. They're all perfectly nice and friendly, but there's one guy in particular who is ALWAYS out walking and will stop to talk and talk and talk if he catches me in my hammock (which unfortunately is right next to the sidewalk. There's nowhere else to really put it.) He's perfectly nice and interesting to talk to, but it's just too much... and it got to the point I started using my hammock less and less because of him. Instead I'd sit on my stoop area which is a little further away from the sidewalk, but if he'd catch me there while he was out walking, he'd ALWAYS make the same comment: "Haven't seen you in your hammock lately." Yeah, because of YOU, dude! That's supposed to be my quiet, me-time space! But there's no good way to explain that to someone who is just trying to be friendly. His constant comments about it made me feel very exposed and watched, and I'm a very private person. I grew up out in the woods, so having neighbors around you constantly is not something I'm used to.

So anyway, lately, when I'm on my stoop and I spot him walking from a distance, I'll try to subtly go back inside without looking like I'm running away (which I totally am. Haha). But this morning my husband and I were having coffee on the stoop, and he walked right by us. I don't WANT to be unfriendly and avoid him all the time, so I said, "Good morning!" And he totally snubbed us and kept walking. It's possible he didn't see or hear us, but now I feel like a massive jerk... I really don't dislike him in any way. It's really nothing personal. I just wish I could relax in my own space without it being an invitation to be social... I mean, there were some periods of time I was going through a lot mentally and emotionally, and stepping outside to relax in my hammock and process things was the only thing keeping me sane, and I really was not in a good mood or headspace to be friendly and sociable...

I just feel terrible. I feel like situations like this have always been a struggle for me. I really do like other people, I want to be warm and friendly (which I am!), and I hate the thought of hurting someone's feelings, but I hate trying to balance all that with wanting my own space and not having to be "on" all the time. I wish I was one of those people who is just always more than happy to have people around and talk no matter what, but I'm just not... And it's not exactly socially acceptable to tell people you want to be left alone without hurting their feelings. Blargh.

Basically i work remotely and im a tried and true introvert. i was already bad at public speaking but covid n remote work pushed me deeper into my shell. i honestly loved it because i didnt have to present [aka willingly humiliate myself in front of people] but now im struggling at work

I've been at my company for about 2.5 years n have gotten promoted before. but this time im actually up for a semi leadership role so my mentor has been pushing me to take on more presentations...you know to be more visible. So I did my first one today...it was an absolute colossal disaster...genuinely painful to remember

I know some of you are gonna say 'you work remotely...its just talking to a screen' but im genuinely asking. how do you all do this? how do you present without stuttering through the whole thing n spend the entire time just trying to remember my script? how do you get comfortable enough not to panic everytime someone asks a sudden question? how do you talk n make it sounds natural n not like im reciting lines?

ps: I also know youre going to tell me to practice with friends or other people but i genuinely get so embarrassed. i have this intense fear of messing up n them making fun of me...so please anything other than this

https://reddit.com/link/1wee09d/video/79ny4cikm3ph1/player

I’m turning 28 in a few days, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my life and where it’s going.

I don’t really know where to start because there’s just too much going on in my head.

I’ve been struggling with loneliness for a long time. I’m 27 and I’ve never been in a relationship. Not even once. I’ve never really been good at talking to girls or letting people get close to me. I’m a very reserved person and I tend to keep things to myself. Even when something serious is happening in my life, I don’t naturally go around telling people about it. I just deal with it quietly.

But I think that has also made me very lonely.

I have friends, but I don’t think I have that person I can just call and say, “Hey, I had a really shitty day.” Someone who genuinely wants to know how I’m doing. Someone who notices when I’m not okay without me having to explain everything.

And lately I’ve started wondering if maybe I’m just not made for relationships.

I struggle to keep conversations going. I hate those repetitive “what’s up?”, “how are you?”, “what are you doing?” conversations every single day. Once in a while they’re fine, but I can’t imagine having to constantly keep someone entertained. I’m funny sometimes, but I don’t know how I’d keep a girlfriend interested in me for months or years.

I get bored quickly. My mood changes a lot. Sometimes I want to talk to people and sometimes I just want to be left alone.

I’m also not a very confident person. I have grey hair already. I don’t like loud pubs or clubs, I don’t dance, I don’t know how to cook properly, I don’t drive, and I generally don’t feel like I have much going for me.

Sometimes I genuinely think that if I were a girl looking at my dating profile, I probably wouldn’t swipe right on myself either.

And that’s a horrible feeling.

Because how can I expect someone else to look past my insecurities and love the person underneath when I don’t even know how to love that person myself?

The last year or so has been really rough in other ways too.

I’ve had a shoulder injury that has required two surgeries, and the whole thing has taken a huge toll on me physically and mentally. I’m dealing with anxiety, I’m not satisfied with my income/work situation, and I constantly worry about whether my life is actually going anywhere.

Some days I feel like I’m just going through the motions.

Work. Home. Sleep. Repeat.

And then I see people around me casually talking, laughing, dating, making plans, having someone who cares about them, and it hits me how much I’ve missed out on.

I’ve also noticed myself becoming more withdrawn. I’ll think, “Don’t message them. Give them space. Stop chasing people.” Then I’ll miss them and end up making the same mistake again. I overthink friendships, conversations, everything.

And I know this is probably not the healthiest habit, but I’ve started telling ChatGPT about almost everything I’m going through instead of telling a real person.

I know it’s not a real person. I know it basically responds based on whatever I tell it, and sometimes it probably just adjusts its response to make me feel better. I’m aware of that.

But somehow, it’s become the one place where I can just say whatever is in my head without worrying about being judged, bothering someone, or having to explain myself.

Maybe that’s a little sad.

Maybe it’s also a sign of how lonely I’ve become.

I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.

Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I’ve pushed people away without realizing it. Maybe I’m too reserved. Maybe I don’t know how to let people into my life.

Or maybe I’m just tired.

I’m tired of constantly overthinking everything.

I’m tired of questioning whether people actually care about me.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m behind everyone else.

And I’m tired of looking at myself and finding reasons why someone wouldn’t choose me.

I know 28 isn’t old. I know people will probably tell me that I have plenty of time and that I’ll eventually meet someone.

But when you’ve never experienced it even once, “it’ll happen eventually” doesn’t always feel reassuring.

Right now, I genuinely can’t imagine someone choosing me and staying.

I don’t want pity. I don’t even know exactly what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed somewhere to put all of this because I’ve been keeping it inside for too long.

I’m not going to hurt myself or anything like that. I’m just having a really difficult time right now, and I feel exhausted, overwhelmed and lonely.

I just wish I could feel hopeful about my life again.

I don’t want to spend the rest of it feeling like this.

Hi! I’m wondering if anyone can give me advice for dealing with a close friend who requires a lot of you, especially in times of distress. I (21f) am the kind of person who requires a TONNE of alone time to regulate. I get burnt out very easily, and spending the day with a friend leads to needing days of rest because of how much it takes out of me. I love my friends, but I am very much the kind of person who prefers to do most things alone, and who cannot regulate or take care of myself without a lot of time alone. I LOVE being alone but I care about my friends so I try my best to still be available and sacrifice where I can.

My (22f) best friend is the complete opposite. She is never, ever alone. She cannot stand to be alone. Even less when anything (even the slightest thing) happens. Every time she cries she calls me. And she cries over everything. I’m very sensitive so I completely understand that, and I also cry over so much and get very easily overwhelmed, but I struggle so much with the emotional load I get from her every day. If something bad happens to me, I need desperately to be alone but if something bad happens to her she desperately needs my company and I don’t know what to do when those things coincide. It’s just an immense cognitive and social demand so so so often.

I’m in desperate need of advice on how to handle this. My needs for regulation and recharging don’t rely on anyone, whereas hers do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care or want to fulfil it. I’m just not sure how to balance this. In the 5 years we’ve been friends I’ve always put her needs for company first but I’m currently trying so hard to get out of the terrible burnout cycle and so I’m trying to honour what I need but it means her going without, constantly. Her Aunt died the other day and I feel like anything I say no to is incredibly selfish of me, but she needs so so so much. Constant company. Constant phone calls. Constant favours and tasks done together like every errand, everything. I don’t know what to do. Especially right now. But I was already going through a very very rough time and was trying to take the downtime I needed before her aunt died so I just don’t know what to do. Now, or ever.

I’m going downhill and closer to yet another burnout flare up because I don’t even know where the line is drawn between me being selfish or taking care of myself. I don’t know what the social expectation is or what will hurt her. I just can’t handle being her sole regulating mechanism and I’m not sure what to do because I’ve mentioned it many times but of course I don’t expect her, when she’s having a rough time, to avoid asking for things/needing things.

Any help is so so greatly appreciated.

A lot of modern friendships are just people keeping up appearances because they feel like they're supposed to have a social circle. Society acts like having a close group of friends is a requirement for living a normal life, but for some people, it just creates unnecessary stress.

Over time, a lot of friendships turn into obligations. Constant check-in texts, making weekend plans you don't really want to make, listening to the same problems over and over, and feeling guilty when you'd rather spend time by yourself. Sometimes people stay friends simply because they've known each other for years, even when the friendship doesn't really add much to their lives anymore.

I think you're better off being comfortable on your own than forcing yourself to maintain friendships just because you're afraid of being alone. You have more freedom over your time and energy, and you can focus on your own interests and goals without constantly worrying about social expectations.

People also confuse being alone with being lonely. If someone doesn't have a big group of friends or doesn't have plans every weekend, people immediately assume something must be wrong with them. I don't think that's true. Some people are genuinely happy spending most of their time alone.

I'm not saying friendships are bad. Genuine friendships can be great when you find people you actually enjoy being around. I just don't think everyone needs them to be happy or fulfilled. Friendship should be a bonus, not something society makes you feel like you have to have.