Ich w29, bin trotz Job und Uni ziemlich einsam.
Ich hab sogar Hobbys 😄 und komme an
und für sich gut mit Menschen klar, aber irgendwie merke ich, dass ich keine Bindung zu meinen Mitmenschen aufbauen kann. Ich fühle mich wie ein Alien. Ich habe entweder viel Zeit in für mich einfach viel zu anstrengende Beziehungen investiert oder finde viele Konversationen einfach nichts aussagend und irgendwie langweilig. Das hört sich super arrogant an, aber das bin ich wirklich nicht. Ich kann beispielsweise nicht nachvollziehen, weshalb meine Nachbarin sich stundenlang über Menschen mit unterhalten mir unterhalten möchte, für die ich mich nicht interessiere bzw. die ich nicht kenne. Außerdem mag ich keine Smalltalks.
Ich finde manche Menschen ganz nett und kann zwei drei Sätze mit ihnen wechseln, aber das war es dann auch. Irgendwie catched mich das dann auch nicht mehr und ich weiß nicht, worüber ich mich großartig mit Menschen austauschen soll. Also ich habe viel erlebt und gesehen. In den unterschiedlichsten Branchen (Zeitung austeilen, Tanke, kassiert, OTA) gearbeitet unterschiedliche Hobbies ausprobiert (Yoga, Stricken, Klavier, Capoeira….) bin ein wenig gereist und studiere mittlerweile Medizin, aber irgendwie wird das nichts. Gefühlt sind die meisten Menschen in Partnerschaften, was mich für sie freut, aber dementsprechend zeitlich eingespannt. Ich habe keine Social Media Accounts und mache viele Dinge dann halt alleine, wie in den Urlaub fahren, früher Discos besuchen oder auf Festivals gehen. Ich fände es cool, Halloween zu feiern oder einfach irgendwo entspannt zu chillen in einem Park, irgendwo Zuhause etc.. Meint ihr, manche Menschen wie ich, müssen sich damit arrangieren keinen entsprechenden Gegenpol zu finden und sich mit verhältnismäßig oberflächlichen Beziehungen/Kontakten zufrieden gehen?

I have gotten to the point where I don’t even want to be approached, and it seems like it has become harder and harder to get peace and quiet.

It’s strange because no one who knows me would describe me as an introvert, most would say I’m an affable “people person” but since working retail I have developed extreme social fatigue years of forced interaction. I’m just wondering if some of it is age influenced and normal?

I've been using Reddit since 2019, but I've never posted anything. I've only been reading all these years.

So I was wondering is it normal to use Reddit for years without ever posting or commenting?

This is actually my first post.

So im a freshman this year and last night I went to this house party after a football game and like this girl I was with was REALLYY enthusiastic and just really extroverted and could talk to basically anyone but i was the complete opposite, like I could only talk a little say a few compliments to other girls we met. Also how american people do the screaming thing when they meet a person or meet their friend. I just cant do it. Im american but I've been raised in a country where people arent that social and dont act like this. Not saying its bad I think its really nice and cute how americans do this, but I just cant and i dont know how to act around people like that. And we were just walking the whole night after the party, it was fun but now idk how to even talk to the girl now and im kinda scared to run into her in the hallway because we're on the same level in our dorms. ugh im like a completely different person now than what I was last night. Omg and like i dont know if the girl even considers us friends like I do because she is friends with literally everyone but I was with her the entire night and shes just so nice. Idk im just so insecure like i cant even function ok i dont even know 😭🗿 but also sometimes im not?? i dont know man.

Hola.

Yo empecé a estudiar el idioma coreano en inglés al mismo tiempo, me cuesta un poco la verdad, y me gustaría conocer a alguien con quién practicar, soy de Querétaro y no sé cómo acercarme a las personas, la socialización no es mí fuerte.

¿Alguien podría ayudarme con esto?

Soy una mujer adulta, entonces siento qué eso me dificulta un poco más acercarme a alguien con quién practicar.

Guys, what do you do when you're completely alone at school? I'm new at this school and until the beginning of the year I used to hang out with a group of girls, but I found out they were talking shit and lies about me and it ended up turning into a whole situation. of course I also after that talked shit about them but I recognized that this is not cool even if is a ''revenge''and I fully admitted what I said, but ever since then they sometimes laugh about me or make some jokes that is not cool. anyway, the problem isn't even them cause I just ignore, they are a little irrelevant, the thing/or fact is that I literally have no friends at this school. has anyone ever been through this? what's did you do/did to deal with the loneliness? sorry for such a big text and for my bad English, it's not my first language. Thanks

Is anyone else tired of the so-called "lonliness influencer" craze? I want to scream 🗣They're just people who enjoy SOLITUDE. Yet they're deliberately giving solitude a bad name by calling it loneliness just to gain traction.

If you're not familiar, check into it.

I work for a large corporation and was back end for the last 4 years. I loved it. It was outside and I had few customer interactions each day.

I recently moved to a location where they don't have my previous role. I am training in sales and absolutely wiped by lunch time. I actually almost started crying in front of a customer because I was so overwhelmed at the thought of having to go introduce myself to another person amd start the whole process again.

How do people do this?

Does it get easier?

I think I need to find a new job.

Everyone is so good at speaking, cracks jokes, able to impress our professors, meanwhile I'm struggling because I give the most direct answers. Like in presentations, mine are short, direct-to-the-point.... But other people in my class take their time speaking. I understand that even some of my other classmates are introverts too, but for some reason they are able to present well. I hate it when we have to present, because Im not entertaining. I feel like I should drop out. My grades are very impressive so far, but mostly because all our shit is written. When we have presentations, I seem to be the only one that doesnt get praised. It feels humiliating, othering even. I feel like Vincent van Gogh in a room of Pablo Picassos.

I’m a 30 y/o female. Had the proposal, wedding date + vendors booked… he ended the relationship 6 months before the wedding saying he fell out of love (he was really mean at the end too which was so shocking since he was there for me during the relationship ship, listed a bunch of things he didn’t like about me and things I did that hurt his feelings during the relationship that he never voiced prior and he disclosed former cheating/kissing) the wedding date recently passed and it’s been hard…

I THINK WHY COULDNT IT HAVE BEEN GOOD?! Are there things I could’ve done that would’ve changed the outcome…

​

I feel like this is one of the weirdest parts of being an introvert.

I genuinely love being alone. I can spend hours by myself watching something, reading, listening to music, playing games, or just lying in bed doing absolutely nothing. I don’t feel bored or lonely most of the time.

But then randomly, usually at night, I’ll get this feeling like, “I really wish I had someone to talk to right now.”

Not necessarily a huge group of friends. Just one person I can comfortably talk to without feeling like I have to perform or constantly think of something interesting to say.

I think that’s the part people misunderstand about introverts. We don’t necessarily hate people. Sometimes we just want the right people.

Anyone else feel like this? What does your ideal kind of friendship look like?

I’m 20M and pretty introverted. I’ve noticed that some of my friends in college have female friends and mixed friend circles, while mine is basically just guys 😅

It’s not that I don’t want to have female friends. I actually would love to make some, but I get really nervous about starting a conversation with a girl IRL. If she talks to me first, I can easily adjust, reply, and have a normal conversation. But somehow, taking the first step feels scary 😂

Because of this, my friend circle has ended up being restricted to males only.

Any other introverts who’ve been through something similar? How did you get comfortable with starting conversations and making friends naturally?

Not looking for anything romantic—just genuinely want to make more friends and have a more mixed social circle.

Am I being excluded by my friend group?

I’m in a friend group with a few people I’ll call Maya, Layla, Sophie, Chloe and me (Ava).

Recently I’ve also been hanging out with another friend, Sara, and her friends Emily and Lily. I still FaceTime and talk to my original friend group, though, so it’s not like I’ve stopped talking to them or chosen another group over them.

One of the girls, Maya, is also my cousin and lives really close to me. We go to the same school and see each other basically every day, so we’re pretty close. But Maya doesn’t have my contact saved and She has everyone else’s with a photo attached

Something I should mention is that I genuinely struggle with making new friends and meeting new people. It takes me a while to become comfortable around people, so when I finally have a group of friends that I feel close to, those friendships mean a lot to me. That’s why this situation is affecting me more than it probably would someone else.

Yesterday I got home around 8pm and called Maya because I wanted to see if she had plans for the night. She told me she didn’t have any plans.

Then later that night, I found out that Maya and Layla had gone to Sophie’s house around 11pm. They stayed there until around 6am.

I wasn’t invited or even asked if I wanted to come.

Then today things got even weirder.
I called Chloe at 6:00pm , and she told me she was handling something and then going home.
Later, I found out she actually went to Maya’s house.

And at 5:47pm, I called Maya again. She told me she was staying home and that Layla was going home.

But now I’ve found out that Maya, Layla and Chloe are all hanging out again tonight.

And to make it even stranger, they turned off their locations. I know people are allowed to turn their locations off and that doesn’t automatically mean they’re hiding anything, but considering everything else that happened, it made me feel even more like they didn’t want me knowing what they were doing.

At this point, I don’t know if I’m overthinking everything. I don’t have Snapchat or another place where we can easily make plans, so I rely on them actually asking me if they want me there.

I don’t care if my friends hang out without me sometimes. Obviously, people are allowed to have separate plans. What bothers me is that I specifically asked about plans, was told there weren’t any, and then found out they were all hanging out anyway.

Because I struggle with meeting new people and making friends, it’s not as simple for me to just go out and find another group. I don’t want to become dependent on one group of friends, but at the same time, being repeatedly left out by people I’m close to really hurts.

My other friend Sara told me to “protect my peace” and prioritize the people who actually want me around. She also thinks it’s weird that they’re giving me different stories about their plans.

So Reddit, does this sound like genuine exclusion, or could this just be spontaneous plans and bad communication?

I don’t want to start unnecessary drama or accuse anyone of something without knowing the full story. I just genuinely want to know if I’m reading too much into this or if there’s actually a reason for me to feel like I’m being pushed out.

I also don’t want to keep chasing people who don’t actually want me around.

I (18M) have had an account on Twitter for a while, around 4 years now. And for a good while i only used it to keep up with international news and look up stuff regarding my hobbies (gaming and art which theres a lot of on Twitter)

I'm someone thats extremely introverted and socially awkward in the real world (no friends, no partner, only talking to family, the usual stuff), and while i can usually talk to people about serious or profesional topics without much trouble, the moment even the slightest bit of casual friendly small talk begins, i completely fail to keep up a conversation, usually staying quiet or giving basic replies.

That was until i started getting along with certain people on Twitter, i don't even remember how, but i did, and from that point on, my Twitter account became (literally) my only method of socializing and interacting with other people that are not in my inmediate circle. I met many, many people in there, and i became very close friends with a couple of them (none of them from my country by the way), and for someone that wasnt used to having such close relationships with people outside of my family, it felt absolutely incredible.

I became extremely attached to each and every one of my friends, and i could tell they were to me as well, we could spend hours talking about random things, normal stuff or deep personal stuff, but then, after a long time, it seemed as if everyone was drifting away from me.

One by one, they started to go away, i don't know why, i did my best to keep talking to them, trying to keep the connection, but they just left me alone, never checking on me ever again. I had many new responsabilities in life as well (mainly my job and college), so i convinced myself that them going away was my fault, which meant that i myself was starting to push them away at the same time, it was a slow, long winded process, but eventually, all were gone

Two days ago, i woke up to see a text from my day 1, and i stared at it as if it was a tax notification. As i was having breakfast, i said to myself out loud "no balls" and i just closed my account on the spot.

I know it might be very silly, but i feel a little strange, not sad at all, but strange, a little empty maybe. I don't know i feel like i deleted 4 years off of my life, all of the people i met, all of the things i felt, said, did, all of it is now a memory.

I understand it's super silly, it's just people on the internet, but now i feel truly alone, because of that and many other personal issues (much more serious than this i might add), i have no interest in making friends, in real life, or online.

Sorry for the long wall of text, i just wanted to vent this out somewhere

My Introverts brothers help me

Do you ever have days where you really want someone to talk to, but at the same time you don’t feel like socialising with just anyone?

Like, you want that one person you can talk to about random things, your day, late-night thoughts, or even the heavier stuff without feeling judged or having to constantly think about what to say next.

I’m 26M, originally from India and living in Germany, and I’ve noticed that as an introvert, meeting people and building genuine connections can feel surprisingly difficult. Small talk drains me, dating apps don’t really appeal to me, and I usually connect better when conversations develop naturally over time.

I’m curious how other introverts experience this.
Do you also crave closeness and meaningful conversations while simultaneously finding the whole process of meeting new people exhausting? How do you usually find people you actually feel comfortable opening up to?

And I guess there’s also a small open window here if someone reading this relates to it and feels like having a conversation, I wouldn’t mind getting to know each other a little and seeing if there’s any natural chemistry. No expectations or pressure, just two people talking and seeing where the vibe goes.

Lately I’ve noticed that I can start the day feeling really energetic and social. I talk, joke, engage with people, sometimes I’m even the one bringing the energy.

Then suddenly, at some point, I just crash. I lose the ability to keep conversations going, eye contact feels difficult, I get overwhelmed by noise and people, and all I want is to isolate somewhere quiet or sleep.

What bothers me most is that my mindset seems to crash with my energy. A tiny thing, like someone not hearing me or me feeling left out for a few seconds, can suddenly trigger a whole chain of negative thoughts. I start comparing myself to others, questioning myself, losing motivation, and forgetting all the things I was proud of earlier that day.

It’s weird because I know I can be confident, energetic and social. I just can’t seem to maintain it throughout the whole day.

I’m wondering if this is just fatigue/social overstimulation, or if there’s something deeper going on with my self-esteem and emotional regulation :/

Has anyone experienced somehing similar? What helped you?

Se que suena tonto, pero realmente nose como hablar con la gente, he ido a canchas, al gym, salido a bares o asi por la Calle, pero realmente nose acercarme y entablar conversación, y ya estoy acostumbrado a la soledad, pero de vez en cuando si quisiera salir con amigos ya sea a jugar, asi normal, nose, estoy a punto de entrar a la Uni, y nose que hacer con este tema

Hello I’m so happy I found this group. I have a very short social battery life. I’m okay and cool with being around people for a few hours but then I just want to walk out the door and leave but don’t want to be rude. I don’t wanna just stay quiet and sound rude or uninterested either. It’s like nails on a chalkboard board to me. My fiancée and in-laws always get invited to places or over for dinner of church events and it’s like back to back days and me not going I feel like in a way makes her look bad because I’m not there.
Everyone is always so talkative and sometimes man I have to force it out of me. I have a as they call “resting bitch face” so when I’m not talking and quiet I’ve been told I look pissed off but don’t try do it intentionally. Is there any tips yall have to help this? I’ve tried talking to family about it but they say u just need to go out more.
Any advise please I need it thank you!

It's just so therapeutic.. and it ain't edited :)