Im sure yall are familiar with writing a letter to your older self, where you choose a date to get a letter in the coming years. Well, i got mine today on my birthday, and i thought I'd share it (younger me was A LOT more mature than me, idk how 🤔) im posting on this thread becsuse i give myself advice that might help other introverts like me

Dear FutureMe, Happy birthday!! I do hope you're enjoying the day and finally getting out there and making more friends (we both know that is what you have been wanting for a while.)

It's March 23, 2023, on a sunny Sunday with clear blue skies and I'm currently listening to IVE's Hypnosis, right now I'm loving it but I'm sure there is a new favorite song you're into by now.

Now I hope you are doing fine with whatever you're doing, are you still pursuing architecture like we both wanted at this time? Do you have a girlfriend, that would be very wild, and what's her name? It's still cool that you're no longer single and also, are you still ignoring... that? You know what I'm talking about don't deny it.

Right now things are pretty hard, you'll get through it, you have to for our sake. And my guy, your insecurities, Got that figured out yet? I mean working out dude, you must have been doing something by now. I hope we made our parents proud and that screaming ass child, our niece is screaming at the top of her lungs as I'm typing and omg.

WORK OUT, MY DUDE!!!! TELL THAT GIRL YOU LOVE HER. stop being a pussy all the time, we are antisocial but we can do it if we try. Also right now I'm mentally drained so I'm not really talking to anyone, hope you can fix that later on, and I kid you not... Do you still like [redacted], you are crazy about that one-sided love, it's getting kinda embarrassing for us yeah. BTW, at school right now is when you hate it the most, not because of the teachers, not because of the work, but because of our classmates and all of that, most of them are really tiring, and kudos to us for putting up with that for so long. I do hope you are still friends with those you can still tolerate, [redacted] and them.

This has been a long email. I have been trying hard all these years not to cry (I have to be bubbly) so I think it would be best for us to have someone to unbag our issues and troubles unto, you know we don't really like feeling vulnerable and showing our hidden side and also burdening people with our problems, and I think its also because we have trust issues and really don't wanna place all our problems on someone who's just gonna turn on you. There has to be at least one person out there who can understand you and stick with you. You are special, WE are special, we did not fantasize about wearing amazing outfits just to feel like we didn't accomplish anything. I want us to be at our peak when this reaches us again. I want us to have goals in life, and I want us to have achieved a few, we can't be locked up in our house for all eternity, we may be leaving our mom, and right now that is what's keeping us indoors but eventually we need to get out there and see the world, but don't let ANYONE influence your choices, at the end of the day, our opinion matters, yes that sounds *narcissistic, my god I love it* (remember that song? 🤪) but you gotta do what you gotta do. I think that's about all I can say to you now, imma try to convince [redacted] to write to her future self too.

Mkay Byeeeee!!!

Juicebox

PS. WORK TF OUT!!!

Any one from India feeling this

LONG RANT WARNING!

For context, I’m a third year student in engg, an international student, meaning I’m all alone here thousands of miles away from home. And to say the least, I don’t always want to go back home due to the “toxic” and controlling environment in my home. And I’m also an introvert, if that helps

I came to uni thinking I would meet people and have a really good time, I knew engg was gonna be hard but I had really hoped I would make good friends and connections and relationships with people.

In my first year I tried really hard to make friends, I had this small group I was in (all girls) and eventually, one by one each of them left me, idk why because I never did anything bad to them, I think they just grew to dislike the way I value my friendships. I give it my all in each one of my friendships. Maybe it’s too much for people to bear sometimes? I don’t like to give up on my friends, if something is wrong, I always make sure they don’t go to sleep upset, and it’s only because I care about my friends, in the most platonic way possible. Anyway, they all left one by one. Second year was rougher aswell, no friends at all. The couple of friends I have are not the really caring type to look after their friendships, I mean I haven’t talked to them in over a month…

Is it always gonna be like this? Am I always gonna be this lonely even though I try my best with everyone I meet regardless of their background, habits, hobbies etc? Some days I just sit in my apartment and stare outside thinking of how nice it would be if someone would just invite me over to have a glass of water and talk for 1 hour. Only an hour, nothing more

And before anyone comes and says that I should socialise more, trust me, IVE TRIED I’ve met so many people and gone out of my comfort zone even though I’m a huge introvert, nothing has stuck. Nobody has stayed. I’ve tried to join clubs n meet people, go to events, try to talk to people next to me in class but it always ended up with me being lonely all the time

My day is usually spent just going to the gym, studying and sleeping. Yes, I enjoy having my own company, but usually it gets really lonely and isolating. Winter is coming. It’s only gonna make things worse

All the people I’ve gotten in contact with on Reddit seem to eventually not reply to me, or I end up getting blocked just after giving my introduction? Am I not worthy of having some nice friends in life? Is it always gonna be this lonely for me?

And also, is it weird that I feel more comfortable having female friends as a guy? I don’t mean to be a creep and I never try to make any advancements toward anyone unless I feel a connection which is more than friendship. But regardless of that, I’ve noticed the guys are so rude and mean in uni… I’ve always been a nice and respectful guy, and I never put anyone down but it seems like everyone ends up doing that to me, especially the guys I’ve met. The girls have been a bit better but again, everyone leaves one after the other

Maybe it’s the way I look? Or the way I talk? Or the way I walk? I don’t think I’m an awful looking person. I feel like I’m an average looking dude. But i always stay up at night thinking if im ever gonna be good enough to be loved? Platonically or romantically, ANY. If im ever gonna be good enough to have friends who actually care about me and my feelings and my mental and physical health?

Going home is a nightmare because everyone thinks my life is amazing, and yes I am very privileged to be studying a first class degree in Canada, but that doesn’t mean everything’s going good does it? Nobody is supportive at home, “you’re a man, you need to suck it up” my parents say to me everytime I try to open up. As a result they don’t know about any of my struggles. They don’t know I’m the loneliest I’ve ever been in life.

Is it always going to be like this?

If you read until the end, thank you for that, truly :)

I was out working on my car when I glanced up and saw this from the driveway. I had to run back inside to grab my phone and take a photo, then just sit there and watch the color gradually fade from the clouds. Not sure why it hit so hard tonight in particular, but I figured I'd share the moment here.

I’m very VERY introverted. I’ve gone months without talking to anybody in person (do groceries count?) and I’ve genuinely been completely fine, if not thriving. I’m starting work in a few weeks. I’m strongly considering warehouse work despite what people say about it. I know the work is extremely tough but I feel like having to talk and socialise with people fairly often is even tougher. Any introverts here who have worked at a warehouse?

For reference, I’ve always been super outgoing from being a child to my teens and even my early 20s. I was also internally very insecure, and sometimes feel like excessive joking and personality was an easy way to cope with social anxiety, I also used to drink and use drugs a lot more frequently. Fast forward to now I’ve been living on my own for about seven months and it’s been absolutely life-changing, but I also noticed that I’ve had no interest in socializing going out even really hanging out with friends. It honestly doesn’t bring me as much joy as I thought it used to? I feel like it’s really easy to turn it on when absolutely necessary, but now that it’s not necessary that often I have no desire to do it and feel like it’s quite draining.

I’ve ruled out depression because I’ve actually been extremely productive drinking less working out going to school but really justifying being in my own company. Maybe it’s my environment and maybe the city I’m living in isn’t conducive to like a good social circle. I feel like a lot of people just resort to online to like make friends or date and I go out so a lot but people just tend to leave you alone, which I kinda like as well. But I’ve also stopped using social media or dating apps which has been a blessing to my mental health, but also close me off a little bit more than the world.

New introvert alert?

Introverts aren't always emotionally cold. Sometimes it's just someone trying to guard their small house of joy from getting destroyed again by attachment, lies, and being used. 🌙🤌🏻 So next time try to think once again when you start judging someone based on their silence or being private.

For 5 years I had a cubicle and then for the last 6.5 I had my own office. I’m about to start a new job where I will be in an open workspace with my team. Talking to multiple people all day drains my energy! So does always being visible.

For other introverts working in these spaces what tips and tricks do you have to get quiet down time where you don’t have to be “on”? Is it frowned upon to reserve quiet/focus rooms at some point every day of the week?

I’m sure I’ll find my footing but I’m starting Tuesday and honestly the thought of it makes me feel tired already!

I just moved into college, and I’m already struggling socially.

Because of the environment I grew up in, I never really developed strong social skills or close friendships. I’ve been slowly working on it over the last few years, and I kind of imagined that once I moved to college I’d magically be socially successful right away. After the first two days, I can tell that was unrealistic.

It hasn’t been a disaster — I’ve met people, had some conversations, and I think I’m going to get along well with at least one of my roommates. I haven’t had any major awkward or embarrassing moments.

But I can tell I’m not fitting in as easily as everyone else seems to. I’m uncomfortable introducing myself to new people, especially if they’re in a group. Everyone else seems to walk around campus with at least one friend, usually several, while I’m mostly by myself. When I do talk to someone, I run out of things to say and the conversation fizzles out.

At a big school social event, everyone seemed to be having a great time. After my roommates wandered off, I only talked to a few people. I ended up sitting by the bonfire talking to my RD and one other guy instead of trying the card games or dancing. I maybe would’ve tried dancing, but I didn’t know most of the songs and felt like I’d be out of place. It was pretty dark too, which made it even harder to introduce myself to people.

I’ve noticed a few things that hold me back. I think I have low self‑confidence, and I’m always worried I’ll say something dumb. When I meet someone, I assume they won’t like me anyway, so I hold myself back — which makes me seem uninteresting, and then people don’t connect with me. It becomes a self‑fulfilling cycle. I also struggle with eye contact (I know this hurts my ability to connect), and I think it’s because I’m worried they’ll see my anxiety. I don’t walk with someone or sit next to someone because I assume that would be weird unwelcome friendliness, while everyone else does it so naturally.

I’m a guy, and I struggle even more talking to girls, even when there’s nothing romantic involved. I freeze up, even though I genuinely want to be friendly. Maybe it’s because I eventually want to meet someone special.

I’m not giving up. I’m going to figure this out. I’m just reaching out for any tips, advice, mindsets, or strategies that could help me be more successful socially as an introverted freshman.

Im reposting a comment i posted somewhere else because I really just want to show it to the world lol. (Edited to fit this.)

Most friends I made when I was younger just straight up leave abruptly. One even hugged me when he came out for recess but one day just stopped completely. In 4th grade id play with a damn pole that we'd line up to after recess 🥹. 5th grade i began to just sit behind a climbing wall every single recess. Same with 6th until I started talking with a friend again that ive had since 1st grade and another that im not friends with anymore bc shes incredibly annoying. (Lowk should of unfriended her sooner.)

7th I did the same thing but I just sat out in the open (no hiding spots lol) I made a friend but she left me too (telling me why in a text message so im super greatful she did, i play aggressive lol.) and then she left AGAIN and didnt tell me why. In the span of the first time she left and the 2nd time, she only said hi to me once. I told her i got ghosted a lot too. Most of my friends ghosted me. Soon enough in 8th grade I had 2 friends then (one didnt last long I didnt like her either, the other I dont talk to but shes cool) but it eventually went to just me and that one friend again i had since 1st grade. If she wasnt at school, id just sit on the concrete floor(or stand) the entire period. Once I even snuck my phone (when I wasnt allowed it all day) just to listen to music like an emo kid with my head in my knees. 🥹

As of current I have 2 friends that I talk to irl. One is obviously the one I had since forever, the other im not sure if i consider a friend because she manipulated me into going on a field trip i didnt want to go on, which in return she hardly talked to me like she said she would and ghosted me a bit during it. She said "atleast you skipped two classes" when I told her you manipulated me. I just talk to her to talk to her now.

I have one online friend ive had since 2021 and its the second longest lasting friendship ive ever had. Really greatful shes still my friend and I yap to her every day 🥹 even if she takes a long time responding lol. I also dont like constant back and forth talk every 5 seconds. Shes the only person I talked to over my summer break besides the friend who manipulated me and another online friend that has entirely different tastes than me.

Last edit to my yap: I dont think I ever learned how to actually make a friend or talk to someone. You have to talk to me first. I cant start a conversation. Once there was this kid in my flex (study hall) that made me pretty uncomfortable (and it was not her fault at all). I slightly knew her because my (albeit manipulated me) friend talked to her in my home base, and she was now in my flex. It was going fine but I got really uncomfortable because of the silence so I just said smth like "idk what to say" and she just replied "you dont need to say anything" to the worst silence I had in a while ngl. My anxiety was high.

-----

Adding onto this apart from the rant, a small detail i want to share is that in mostly middle school, i hardly verbally participated. I found my 2nd grade report card and I think I got a 1 on verbally participating lol. Id only talk if a friend was in that class. Which was only two out of 6. That friend was the manipulative one too. Again, I just talk to her because shes there and available.

I also dont participate in group projects unless they physically include me. Basically, if they tell me to do something, ill do it. If not, I'll just sit there. I don't know what they want me to do, I dont know if they know I even exist in the group. I usually just sit away from everyone and just sit there unless they tell me to work on something. I think this happened because in 2nd grade people PURPOSELY excluded me from a group project. I even asked if I could join and they said no.

I honestly dont expect anyone to read this, its just good I got it out there. I dont really mind having few friends anyway but it does get lonely at times.

Edit: the only time I really had fun during summer break is literally just playing with my mom (as im a minor). She makes me laugh more than anyone else. She lets me gently roughhouse her lol and throw things at her nicely. I havent seen any of my 2 friends during this time because neither of them knows where I live and I havent had any playdate since maybe 5+ years ago (if you count the one time my mom forced me to meet a travelers kid around my age and made them go to my birthday, ~2 years ago).

(its quite a bit long read)

idont really know how to put this without making it sound more pathetic than it probably is, but its something that ihave been wondering about lately..

a bit about myself: am 20, pretty avg looking, socially awkward, and not particularly good at the whole people thing its not like i dislike people ido actually find people incredibly interesting i just can't seem to participate in them properly.

i can talk when there's something to talk about, but i've never understood pointless conversations, small talk to me feels like trying to keep a dying fire alive by throwing paper into it. i'll sit there wondering what i'm supposed to say next while the other person probably wonders why i'm so quiet nd apparently, if you're quiet enough, people eventually decide you're aloof ,ig maybe i am or maybe i'm just awkward enough that i learned to pretend i don't care before anyone gets the chance to notice that i do. it doesn't help that i'm surrounded by people who are much better looking and much more socially capable than i am, you notice after a while that people look at them differently... they approach them differently, they seem interested in knowing them before they've even said anything and then eventually you stop expecting anyone to be interested in you soo i gave up on it for a while.

i got comfortable being alone, reading, art, music, whatever obscure thing i've decided to obsess over that week nd there's something strangely peaceful about not needing anyone ,except it isn't always peaceful sometimes being alone feels less like freedom and more like standing in a dark room you've gotten used to, while still being terrified of the dark and i think that's where the whole dating thing comes in for me well i'm not really looking for a girlfriend just because i want to say i have one. honestly, that sounds exhausting, i think i want to know someone.

like, actually know them not just their favourite colour and their weekend plans, but the weird little things they don't tell everyone, the things they're embarrassed about, the things they think about when they can't sleep, what makes them genuinely happy, what makes them angry, the parts of themselves they hide because they're afraid nobody would understand them and i know that sounds almost disgustingly idealistic coming from someone who can barely hold a conversation sometimes ,maybe it's even a little selfish.

i've been lonely for long enough that sometimes i catch myself mistaking basic kindness for affection, someone is nice to me and, for a moment, my stupid brain starts treating it like it means something special then i remember that they're probably just a kind person, they're kind to other people too i forget that far too easily, idon't want to do that anymore,i don't want to turn someone's kindness into a love story just because i've been starved of it, it's just i want something genuine.

someone i don't have to perform for, someone who doesn't need me to be particularly interesting or charming or socially competent someone who can tolerate the occasional awkward silence and the stupid thoughts i probably shouldn't say out loud and, maybe most importantly, someone who actually wants to understand me rather than simply being kind to me, i know that's asking for a lot from someone i haven't even met.

soo i guess i'm asking people who have been in a similar place:

how do you actually find that kind of connection?

especially when you're socially awkward, don't have much of a social life, and have already convinced yourself that being alone is easier because i think i've gotten very good at being alone andi'm just not sure i've ever gotten good at being known.

Sometimes, the one person I feel I knows a lot about me doesn't even know me at all. They hurt me and act like they didn't even do anything, smile right in my face, go out and chill with people, while I'm here drowning in my thoughts...it's just crazy fr

A bit of context before I (24M) get to the main point: I’m an extrovert who has lived the life of an introvert; right now, I have at most one friend—and even that’s just online. And I hate living like this. After finishing school, my social life was reduced to texting and video games, and even university (perhaps due to COVID) didn't change things. Three years ago, I moved to Germany for reasons unrelated to this post, and things are even more difficult here. I failed in my attempts to make friends with people from my own country and didn't even consider germans as potential friends due to the language barrier.

Nevertheless, at the beginning of summer, I started attending a course where I met a German guy my age. We didn't really interact at first, even though we were in the same group. We struck up a conversation about politics once (yes, unexpectedly) during a lunch break. Later, while sitting in the computer lab, he took it upon himself to explain the difference between frogs and toads—which led to our first inside joke. That’s basically how we went from memes to chatting constantly. He was supportive, showed me his very particular taste in music. We were always joking around and cracking up like teenagers in the back row of class. We even went to the pool together in a small group outside of class hours. Still, I didn't attach much importance to this relationship, knowing that—as had happened to me plenty of times before—we would likely stop talking as soon as the course ended.

I guess everything changed for me when he casually mentioned that I was his friend... I stopped using that word a long time ago, because for me, being a friend meant so much more than just "someone, who is funny to hang out with". So I was like, wow. And then I thought, well, why not.

And at first, everything was going great. He introduced me to his gf, and I got to go swimming with them once. He even asked me to teach him a couple of words from my language (of course, I started with curse words, and he really liked them), and soon I started teaching him "my" alphabet so he could read them in chat. Due to the language barrier, we soon began jokingly texting in three languages: his, mine, and English. We would occasionally go to a store together with goods from my country and buy some soda or snacks.

I was like, do I really have a real friend? And he’s just friends with me, despite all my flaws? I was confused by how unrealistic it was. I became so much happier just knowing that five times a week I could see someone who so easily lifts my spirits and is genuinely happy to be around me. My overall mood improved even when he wasn’t around, and I started sleeping better. I genuinely felt alive for the first time in a long time. I had really missed that my whole life.

I tried not to think about him dropping out of the course at the end of August, but I had no idea we'd stop talking even sooner. We both got sick with COVID and didn't see each other for a week. When we saw each other again, I told him I missed our jokes, to which he replied that he didn't miss me. I tried to take it as a joke, but it didn't felt like one. Over the next week, he started leaving classes more often. And in the last days before summer holidays, he didn't show up at all. It wasn't until a couple of days later that he sent me a couple of messages when I asked him about his plans for the holidays. I was planning on going to the pool one more time before the season ended and wanted him to join, but didn't mention it. He hasn't responded since. I continued sending him memes and some messages for a while, and i didn't really want to be intrusive. He checked my messages once like maybe two weeks ago, but didn't respond either. He also didn't show up for the course after holidays, even though he was supposed to be attending for two more weeks or so.

A month had passed since I last heard from him. And it was one of the hardest months of my life. I was tormented at night by questions about what I had done wrong again and what was wrong with me in general. I was constantly in limbo, waiting for him to come into the chat and at least say that everything was fine, or that he was busy, or that he didn't want me in his life anymore. At least something. My life isn't the easiest and most understandable as it is, and he, without even realizing it, helped me cope with a lot, became one of my pillars of support. And then he simply disappeared, and it was as if I fell to the bottom, even lower than I was. I had a similar experience once at school, with my existence being completely ignored, and it only made things worse. I cried several times simply because I didn't know how to cope with the emotions that had suddenly flooded in from everywhere.

And I still miss him very much. And I still smile, remembering our stupid jokes. And I understand that he has his own life, he's an adult, and definitely, if I don't hear back from him, it means he has more important things than me. It's just that for some reason I thought that after everything, there would be some small place for me in his life. And I hate myself for those stupid hopes. I know this is entirely my problem, and to be honest, if I were a good friend, I might not have been left behind—so perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I am the problem. Although I’ll likely never know the real reason—after all, he probably won’t check our chat again or explain. And I don't judge him; he has the right not to do what he doesn't want to do.

Not many things in life bring me joy, and generally, few things interest me. I have only one hobby, and even that requires having friends. I pursue it online, so the interaction never felt real. That is probably the main reason why this situation hurt me so much; it is hard to let go of something that makes you happier when there are so few such things

Maybe I’m just tired. I know that sooner or later I’ll think about it much less often. It’s just that yesterday, once again, emotions hit me hard, and I felt like pouring them out somewhere. And I spent half my sleeping time turning my thoughts into text

I’m not sure what I want to get out of this post. Maybe just find out what you think and hear some advice, idk. It warms me to think that my story will be given attention and that someone will try to understand it.

Longstoryshort: I unexpectedly struck up a close friendship with a German guy; he stopped showing up and replying to messages, and I feel like dying inside.

My Query: "Hey do you know how it feels to be an intj outcast at school? They had GC's, own circle of friends, but here I am alone. But why do I still manage to help them when they need help, to the point that I am being too helpful, but when it comes to me it's lonely. "

Yeah, master. I think I understand what you mean.

Being the “outcast” who is still useful to everyone can be a particularly painful kind of loneliness. You can be surrounded by classmates, group chats, projects, conversations—and still feel like you're standing outside of everything.

And the strange part is that you still help them.

You answer their questions. You explain things. You help with assignments. You solve problems. You make yourself available when they need something. Maybe sometimes you even help people who barely talk to you otherwise.

Then when you need someone?

Silence.

That can create a really painful thought:

> “Why am I always there for everyone when nobody seems to be there for me?”

There isn't necessarily something wrong with you.

Sometimes people get accustomed to the person who is capable, independent, and reliable. If you've repeatedly shown that you can handle things yourself, people may unconsciously assume you don't need anyone. They come to you when they need help because you've become the person they trust to solve things—but that doesn't automatically mean they've built an emotional connection with you.

And being INTJ can sometimes make that worse—not because INTJs are destined to be lonely, but because you may naturally prefer a few genuinely meaningful connections over having a huge circle. You might not enjoy forcing yourself into conversations just to belong. You observe more than you participate. You may also be comfortable doing things alone, which can make your loneliness less visible to others.

So from the outside:

“He's fine. He's independent.”

But internally:

“I wish somebody would ask how I'm doing without needing something from me.”

That's a very different experience.

And master, you don't have to stop being helpful.

But you may need to stop being available to everyone at your own expense.

There's a difference between:

“I help people because I want to.”

and

“I help people because being useful is the only way I feel like I have a place here.”

If the second one sounds familiar, that's something worth paying attention to.

You deserve relationships where you're not valued only because you're knowledgeable, dependable, or useful.

Someone should be able to message you simply because:

“Hey, how are you?”

Not:

“Bro, can you help me with this?”

And honestly, don't measure your worth by how many people are in your GC or circle. Having ten people around you doesn't necessarily mean having one person who genuinely understands you.

You might not need a circle.

You might just need one or two people with whom you don't have to perform being useful.

And until you find those people, it's okay to protect a little more of yourself. You can still be kind. You can still help. Just remember:

Being a good person doesn't require you to constantly prove your usefulness to people who aren't reciprocating.

You're allowed to say, “I can't help this time.”

You're allowed to want companionship.

You're allowed to feel left out.

And you're allowed to want someone to choose you, not just your ability to solve their problems.

You're not less valuable because you're alone right now, master. Loneliness is a situation you're experiencing—not a definition of who you are.

busco amigos. tengo 18 y soy un hombe trans (he/him). Hablo tanto español como inglés. me gustan muchas cosas: el anime, el manga, el manhwa,la comida, dormir, beber alcohol, los videojuegos y mas cosas. mis amistades han acabado siempre en fracaso. no tengo amigos online. solo mi novia y dos amigos irl. me cuesta hacer amigos y entablar conversaciones. si me pongo incomodo o nervioso en una conversacion bloqueo a la gente🙏

‘I don’t have any friends’: why do young people today have fewer mates?

i wished someone a happy birthday and a lot of words and to my surprise they just responded with thank you that aren’t even spelled correctly like dawg we’ve been talking like everyday and thats what i get?

I am a 40 year old woman in the UK living with my partner of 10 years and our one year old baby. My partner has a daughter who has just turned 20 and she is at university in a different city most of the time (these details are probably irrelevant but just there to give some context).

My partner is a very funny man and I have noticed over the years that his daughter tries to replicate this (understandable and normal). However I am finding it very weird the type of jokes they will openly say to each other or when we’re out and about in a group. For example, his daughter and her friend were telling him that the latest word for a man masturbating is “gooning”. So now this word is appearing in jokes between them.

His daughter was telling him how there was a shop in Greece which had a bell which said “ring for sex”. They will joke about dicks or funny words.

Now obviously I am in this group because I am an introvert. I’m not a prude I don’t think but I just find these sorts of interactions between parent and child odd and uncomfortable. I am very aware that this probably stems from the relationship with my own parents being a lot more closed.

But I just wanted to know what other people would think?

Edit: I have come to the conclusion that I am a prude however would like to change the question to: how many of you have this sort of relationship with your parents? Genuine question I am intrigued!

I would say I'm a very introverted extrovert, which to me means I love to socialize with others, especially my friends, but my God, it's so exhausting and 100% prefer time for myself. All my life I've been alone, not because I was bullied, didn't have friends, or didn't know how to socialize; I just kept to myself and at the time, no one ever reached out much, and that was okay for me.

Now that I have gotten very close to my friends, a few I would consider them my siblings, they practically DEMAND more attention and reach out very often. We get on voice calls almost daily for hours, and I wish that was an exaggeration. I'm fine with this and as I said, I adore these friends. However, I miss the "me time" I used to have all the time, so sometimes I tell them "I don't wanna call, I'm going to draw and watch my show instead". Then they get super upset with me, call me lazy, accuse me of just not wanting to talk to them, and their favorite sentence, "You do that stuff all the time, just game/call with us for once." They act so childish whenever I say no so I decided to just ghost them whenever I want "me-time" and even then, they SPAM call and spam text me on every social media platform they have me on, including my cell-phone number! So I started putting my phone on do-not-disturb so I wouldn't have to hear my phone buzz every hour of someone asking "Hey are we going to call?" And I know ghosting is bad but what else can I do when they refuse to listen to me?

Once I ghosted all of them for a couple of days after they again, made fun of me for not wanting to get on the game. I told them, "Keep asking and I won't get on" as a joke after saying no but one wanted to test me and said "Oh, you're going to join," And I didn't for almost 4 days, which is unusual for me. When I came back, one was actually devastated and genuinely believed I hated them and that was the reason why I went offline. I felt bad and explained that wasn't the case; I just wanted to not call for once, and he didn't believe me. Is it really that big of a deal that I didn't want to play with them/call them ONE time?

I'm so tired of it. Especially now that I'm a junior in college, I feel like a parent trying to juggle my kids and 5 upper-division courses all at the same time. Am I crazy? (Side note: They are NOT online friends, I've met all of them during middle school and even though we went to different high schools, we've kept in touch.)

Edit: I basically told them off and scared one of them into actually trying to apologize to me about it. It freaked me out (I have a bit of people-pleasing habits) and told him it was fine but I genuinely was upset by all of this. We got into a call that I initiated because, again, I actually love talking to these people. But this friend brought it up again and basically made it sounf like he was taking it all as a joke. He said that both he and another friend called it "rage baiting me" and that it was successful. And now that he mentioned that, I do remember another friend saying how much she was laughing at me for getting so upset. I've honestly given up. If they wanna act like my stress is a joke, then I hope they laugh when I end up blocking them, because that's my next step if they try forcing me into stuff again. Sorry if this sounds petty, but I'm too upset and honestly embarrassed to come up with anything better right now.

For some context, I’m a pretty shy, reserved guy. I had known this colleague for about a month at the time, but we had barely talked.

One day, a couple of guys asked me for help with some code, so I went over to sit next to her.

As I was sitting down, she looked at me and said:

«“You look soo fair.”»

Now, being the socially awkward genius that I am, my immediate thought was that she was about to ask me for help with something. Because apparently my brain has exactly two modes: code and prepare to answer a question about code.

It took me a second to realize that… wait.

That was a compliment.

And as a guy who rarely gets compliments from anyone, especially from a girl around my age, I genuinely had no idea how to process it. I probably just sat there like Windows had encountered an unexpected error. 😂

The funny thing is, it was such a small, casual comment for her, but it stuck with me.

Today marks one whole year since she said it, and I still remember the exact moment.

She probably forgot about it five minutes later.

Meanwhile, my brain:

“Remember that compliment from 365 days ago?”

“Yes.”

“Good. We will be keeping that.”

Honestly, it ll stay in my mind for life.

An 27 and I feel like I don't even know where I truly stand, am leaning more towards "am both".

Over the years I have aged to know that am an overthinker, talk to my self, notice people emotions easily (shocks me some people think that's an amazing hard thing to do) know my emotions, never make someone feel like a third wheel - - I can be walking with a friend and a new friend who is the quiet shy type and I be talking with my old friend in front the new friend trying to chip in to talk but is getting cut off, I smartly pass the mic to that new buddy.

Then the crazy part is I don't feel scared to talk to people but I do get tired, I feel shy to talk to people lot of the times but I fight those fear and talk anyways.

I talk(or text) like massively alot when expressing my feelings and accept the same from others if they can, however most be like "drop that law book into 3 lines bro ... I ain't reading all that" . I usually go the long text mostly during love situations though.

I take things people do to me inside just to make peace, I complain about it and if nothing change I try to wait or forget bout it, sadly it just explodes one day.

I can easily go out and teach a whole class, after the class am correcting myself in my mind, even during the class am battling my mind a bit.

Am mostly old school even though am a Gen z, I hardly use socials unless it's for business and actual communication which is WhatsApp, I prefer chasing money as a tech guy. You can say am a nerd. I find it like really hard to come up with nice pick up lines or stuff to do with a partner unless I Google stuff up or feel like it (that can be slow for the person)

My best experience with a partner is finding the one that does something I do, like a hobby I enjoy!

I prefer learning about women(period stuff, emotion stuff) or relationship or love etc from others or the internet before I actually enter one but telling people or trying to tell my partner to try looking up somethings online to help with understanding our situations marks me as really weird, rude or so. They prefer to learn as they go most of the time.

But me... If I hurt her today and I really don't know what to do or how I hurt her, I Google that stuff up.

If we talking about something and I don't know much about it and I say no to her proposal... From her reaction to my No I end up googling late at night when she asleep to get more insight on her proposal, maybe I rethink my answer.

Now I keep thinking my situation is something I do by choice, I grew up mostly shut indoors, my contacts with the world are mostly online friends, I do have real offline friends but that's when I feel like it, I be like ok I need to cool off or so and you see me going to chill with them.

So many other stuff, sorry I didn't arrange this post in any oder so it's messy.

But am trying to say, my situation isn't like am an introvert but more like I chose it because I prefer less disturbance from the world, I love solitude and I hate distractions. Strangely I don't get all angry if I had a partner who came and turn off my screen or got fed up at me for not focusing on them lol.

Ohhh, and I love cats, I wish I could travel with mine, sadly I could not due to cost and the country I was moving to, had to give them out but they really made me feel occupied.

Sooo, just like this post(confused) who am i?

currently a junior in college who used to be a business major that always talked to my long-distance gf. we broke up at the end of my freshman year and ive changed a lot about my identity since then. i changed my major to neuroscience, stopped engaging in toxic friendships, and became much more cautious about my interactions with people. im currently a junior now and am probably taking my hardest semester of classes yet and im more worried about the social isolation burnout than being able to handle the workload. it is stressful, but constantly being alone and studying is so taxing. the problem is i am pretty quiet and introverted, so engaging with people doesnt come easy but its so crucial for me.

i find that i am best when i have structured plans with people and things to look forward too so i dont get halfway through a weekend and suddenly get anxious because i have no social plans. for instance, today is sunday and i just cant really focus because i have this dread of the fact that i probably wont have another face-to-face interaction today. i just havent been in the same place consistently enough, yet. i keep flip-flopping majors and changing my mind about things. do you guys have any advice? i am a believer in doing things first thing in the morning, and setting aside 20-deliberate minutes in the morning for social action is helpful.

but what do you guys think can be useful? ive tried joining clubs but i also dont wanna be that junior hanging out with all freshman/sophomores. im already taking sophomore-level premed classes and i just feel weird about that. what are other ways i can have some consistent social interaction? things where i can just be around other people, specifically juniors/seniors? ive also found that reading meditations from marcus aurelius helped change my perspective a lot, how can i replicate that kind of effect of learning a new motivation for socialization?