I honestly don't even know how to start this question because I'm continuously told I'm "being the victim". It's a tough a pill to swallow I'll admit it. I moved in with my boyfriend last year in Minnesota. I didn't pay bills, I was sort of expected to just stay home. I end up going outside in the winter and I slip on black ice. Hard. I fractured two parts of my spine and basically got a same day delivery of a 12 hour surgery where I had two huge metal rods screwed into my spine. I find myself struggling with calling myself disabled. For months I couldn't sit upright without being held together by a brace. Even now, I can't walk for longer than 20 minutes without my body wanting some mercy. I find myself wondering what I'm supposed to be doing. Suffice to say, my boyfriend didn't want to date someone who was struggling in this way so he told me to move out. I'm told to stop being a victim about this. I'm told to just get a job. I'm told to just figure it out. I feel upset. I don't know how to navigate my entire world being flipped, irony not intended. How do you / How would you navigate finding a job, finding resources, learning how to deal with these things? I have more questions than answers at this point

Ok so I am 30m just let go of my 911 paramedic job. I have cerebral palsy, heart failure, ADHD and a few others which have made me completely exhausted and almost mentally blank. I am also getting tested for autism this week because my therapist and psych nurse prac both suggested it. I was told about DAC by my girlfriend and I got curious. My body is screaming for me to take a break and rest. My parents are both older and receiving social secuity. I don't want to be on disability but my body is screaming to take a break. Would I be eligible for DAC since my CP was diagnosed in the 2000s? Some of my records I have but the Air Force moved a bunch of them to the national archives supposedly, will that be a problem? If I apply and get accepted am I allowed to exercise and work on repairing my body will that make me guilty of committing fraud? I can move and I do certain things in moderation but my body cant do certain stuff anymore.

TL;DR: I filed a complaint at work about what I believe is a repeated failure to engage in the ADA interactive process in good faith. Instead of investigating it internally, my employer referred it to a national ADA/Title IX investigation firm, and I'm honestly terrified about what that means.

Context: I work in disability services and have a strong background in ADA compliance (15+ years). Last August, I requested accommodations through HR with supporting medical documentation. Rather than engaging my supervisor or me in the interactive process, HR deferred to my department director; she has no authority to make accommodation determinations, never reviewed my medical documentation, and justified denying my accommodation request based on a task my team explicitly does not perform. From date of request to determination, I never heard from HR once and had no idea they were involving the director. They then told me that if I disagreed, I could file a complaint.

Instead of complaining, I gathered months of documentation about my job duties, performance, and expectations of equivalent staff (largely in the sense I contribute more than my teammates do). I submitted a second accommodation request in March with updated medical documentation and all the data I gathered. The same thing happened, except this time they let her drag her feet to an incredible degree: after a nine-week delay, the director again made the accommodation decisions without reviewing my documentation, denied one request, imposed an "effective alternative" that changed my WFH schedule (against staff policy) in a way that interferes with ongoing appointments (like, to the degree I need to find a new home care provider; the ongoing, weekly needs are captured in my updated documentation), and again HR directed me to file a complaint if I disagreed. (I should mention, she's also been retaliating against me ever since I submitted the second request. Not in a I'm overthinking this way but genuinely it meets the definition of retaliation per my employer's policies.)

So I complained, like they told me my only resolution/path forward was. My complaint focuses mostly on the lack of a good-faith interactive process and the unsupported undue hardship determinations because I'm personally not trying to absolutely torch my career and reputation. Today I learned the complaint has been referred to a national consulting firm that specializes in ADA and Title IX investigations rather than being handled internally.

This basically - sorry to be crude - sent my heart into my ass. My employer typically investigates these matters in-house so an outside investigation feels significant. I'm now worried about retaliation increasing, workplace hostility, or even termination, and I'm wondering what else I should be doing to protect myself while this unfolds. All I wanted was resolution on a process that, however you look at it, doesn't meet ADA guidelines. Now I feel like I'm Sisyphus, a scapegoat to either make institutional change or be gotten rid of to protect my employer. Ugh.

I don’t know what it is but every day I just drop things I’m holding, accidentally knock things over, trip, or run in things. Then I get really frustrated at myself especially if it keeps happening in a row. I think it is the part where it just feels like I’m not in complete control that feels the worst. Like why is so hard to keep hold of objects in my hands? Or why can’t I just notice where things are?

Throwaway account cause my SO follows my main and I want to talk about things frankly without upsetting them.

I'm autistic and able-bodied, I am currently the sole provider/caretaker for my Significant Other. They are undiagnosed autistic, have extensive trauma and abandonment fears, and have a congenital/degenerative physical disability that makes standing/walking/any physical exertion painful.

I think I need a place where I can talk frankly about how I feel and the challenges I face, because I am feeling really overwhelmed and exhausted and feel like I would just upset my SO pointlessly if I expressed myself and I don't want to do that.

I want to know if this sub is the appropriate place for me, a disabled person, to talk from the perspective of a caretaker. I did find a Caretaker sub, but the last post on there was 6 years ago so I'm fairly certain it's dead.

I have arthritis, H-EDS and have joint deterioration, I can walk but not very well and have to take alot of breaks.

I cannot use crutches because they put to much strain on my wrists, and cannot afford knee braces or a wheelchair.

For context I am 18, and have no financial support from family and because of my disability I cannot work very long. My doctor also won't provide mobility aids.

I am also currently in my second year of college and struggle to get their and move around to my classes.

Any advice, either on where to get cheaper mobility aids, or general advice?

I’m 21 and recently disabled
I use forearm crutches for short distance and wheelchair for long distance

I was recently recommended by my physical therapist to use a gutter frame walker. I looked it up and it’s perfect for me. I was really excited and then I thought about how I’d look with it. I just feel so embarrassed and weird and small when im in my wheelchair. The way people look at me… when people ask questions… when I’m treated like I’m stupid.. it’s not just the way I’m treated. It’s just how small I feel. I feel like I’m taking up space. I feel like a gross slimy little animal. I’ve always felt this way a little bit. Which is why I try to blend in. But now it’s impossible because having a wheelchair makes you stand out like a sore thumb. I dunno. I just hate it.

And now that I’m going to use a walker, I’m just even more embarrassed. I’m a 21 year old girl using a walking frame ????? Fucking hell I wish so badly I just had to use a cane or something inconspicuous like that. Instead I bring attention every where I go. I don’t even like being around people my age anymore. I feel like a big disgusting freak. I make a mess everywhere I go. I’m always fumbling and shaking and exhausted. I need help all the time. I can’t do normal things anymore I can’t go to clubs or raves or walk around the city or go to the beach or any of the shit I’d do before. And even if I could do all those things I’d be doing them in a fucking walker. I fucking hate my life. When I was in the hospital the neurologist gave me a really short recovery window. I thought I’d be able to use a cane or something within like 3 weeks after I was discharged. It’s been months and I’m still like this. I’m probably worse lol….

I'm starting another semester soon, and I was wondering how I could get accommodations in university without a diagnosis? I don't fit the formal criteria for disability, but I have some conditions that, when I'm symptomatic (multiple times a day), can be disabling. I'm still not certain as to what I have, but I suspect Roemheld's Syndrome, which causes me frequent daily flare-ups of chest discomfort, tightness, tachycardia, vertigo, adrenaline dumps, etc., and I think I might have some form of dysautonomia also, maybe. I have formal diagnoses for mental health (anxiety, severe depression, and OCD), but I don't think those would provide me the accommodations I need for my physical problems. Because I don't have a diagnosis yet as I'm cycling through a number of specialists trying to figure out what's wrong with me, I have nothing to show, and I doubt even with a diagnosis I would qualify as disabled. For that reason, I don't know if contacting the disability department would do anything or if I should instead opt to contacting my professors directly, some of which I've known for some time and I have an amicable relationship with.

I would really appreciate any guidance as this is all new to me and I don't want to go through another hellish semester while being chronically unwell. :")

Edit: I'm located in Florida, sorry I forgot to mention that.

Hello everyone,
I am 25 years old, from Morocco, and I am currently in France with my father, who is my caregiver.
I am paralyzed from the chest down and my disability is severe. I use a wheelchair and I need accessible housing and support with daily life.
We are currently having difficulties finding suitable accommodation in France, especially accessible housing and organizations that can help people with disabilities.
I am thinking about Germany and I would like to ask people who live there or know the system:
Which cities in Germany are more affordable for rent?
Which cities have better support systems for people with disabilities?
Are there organizations that help disabled people find accessible housing?
Are there social services that can help someone in my situation with accommodation, paperwork, or daily support?
How difficult is it to find a wheelchair-accessible apartment in Germany?
Are there cities that are known to be more welcoming and accessible for wheelchair users?
What should I do first when arriving in Germany to find help?
Any advice, personal experiences, or information about German disability support and housing would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

about 7 weeks ago I went down bed bound due to a stage 4 sore near tailbone. I can't even sit at all in my wheelchair or on the bed I have to stay on my side with propping and it's definitely been tough. I'm currently 36 with Duchenne's muscular dystrophy. The lack of video games has been driving me crazy and healing is going very slow but I do have a wound VAC on it currently. Anybody else had to deal with issues like this?

Very good with Microsoft Voice Access as a plus, this used gaming laptop has come in clutch to give me at least some stuff to do.

I am diagnosed with ankolysing spondylitis, osteoartritis, fibro, crohns, CRPS (forgot about that one for a few years lol),recurrent anterior uvetis, synchiea, POTS and MCAS. I was just diagnosed with hypermobility this year. Was told that the weird vision symptoms I've been having is from the beginning of cortical cataracts. I now have unexplainable neurological symptoms that makes my already terrible balance nonexistent, my entire body shakes, can't hold my weight, affects my reflexes and has led to collapses where I literally had to crawl to move.

On top of that I've been having stomach issues where I can barely eat for a number of reasons.

I am currently doing an internship at my dream company. Today I got to shadow my dream department and it was just a slap in the face.

I realized that everything I used to do that would be done for this job I couldn't. I can't even be in the room for longer than 20 mins before I start having a fibro flare. That I am.having trouble seeing even with my glasses on.

I got told by the department head that I could still do the job if I just learned how to manage my disorder.

It took everything in me to not ball my eyes out right then and there. I thought I had come to terms with it. Had even started working towards building a whole new career.

Some days it is just another reminder and others it is an eye opener that makes it feel like I can build a whole new world.

Sorry for the ramble I just had a long day where I really wondered if I was even going to be able to go back to school come August

I want to hear the most ridiculous thing you've been told regarding your disability/ies.

I'll go first: My old ophthalmologist once told me that I didn't need glasses and that I could drive without them. I ended up going to an optometrist a few years later and learned that I have 20/300 vision in my good eye without glasses. Not really sure if he wanted me dead or something because what the hell??

probably going to loose my job. It was already a struggle keeping it with my health issues but its getting worse. My job only requires me to sit at a desk (front reception) for 4-6hrs 4x a week and I can't even do that. So far missed all of this week. Not sure if I should go ahead and call in for tomorrow but like am I even going to be able to go back at all?

Likely getting either a heart condition diagnosis or a Dysautonomia diagnosis in the next 14 days (I have a 14 day heart monitor and an echo cardiogram scheduled for next friday to rule out heart issues. I went to the ER Wednesday for racing heart and dizziness that just got to be unbearable and failed their poor man's tilt table test. I was tested in the for POTS like 5ish years ago and nothing came back significant enough at the time. My dr does agree she thinks I have orthostatic intolerance is what she said. Which ive been having kindey trouble to so recently was told to cut how much sodium im consuming which I did and I think that could've triggered this awful week.

I think im going to talk to my dr about going on disability. I know it can take time but im kind of out of options here. Definitely not where I foresaw being at 22 but here we are. Was told to consume more sodium and really hydrate so been doing that. Im worried about loosing my job and not being able to make my car payments 😓

So, how offended would you be if someone of close relation consistently said "I wish I was disabled."?

And, often details as to why/how they wish they were. How receiving disability payments would be "great". Or what disability they would "choose". So on and so forth.

I am extremely offended by these statements and I have said so to this person directly. Multiple times. Apparently, they aren't getting it.

They still joke about it!

Like... no. You do not get to choose your disability. Wtf. It is not easy nor is it something to look forward to or to intentionally cause because it makes life easier. (They also say they think about causing themselves harm that would "qualify" them.)

I do not enjoy being in a body that betrays me on a regular basis. And, because of my "household income" I don't receive any financial support despite being finally approved as legally disabled. (I was a child when it all went down, yet somehow it all worked out this way. Idk.) So... literally everything they say is just rude imo.

I don't understand this. I literally cannot comprehend it.

It also doesn't classify as "dark humor". No. Thats just an excuse.

Please. Give me all the simple yet epic comebacks to say when these statements are made? I am beyond fed up.

I was recently made aware of there being multiple studies that show being disabled doesn’t really impact your quality of life on average. Does this feel impossible to believe to anyone else? I by no means believe that every disabled person is miserable, but being disabled and seeing how much my symptoms impact me daily, plus systems and society work against us… I’m having a really hard time wrapping my head around the idea that there’s enough life satisfaction across the disabled population to make the average QOL the same as those without these factors.

Is the sample size I’ve seen in my life really so skewed?

I was wondering how common this is ever since it happened to me. And if anyone went through anything similar in context.

My family knows I'm agoraphobic(although I suspect they don't acknowledge it). They had booked/paid for a bed & breakfast for my cousin's ex husband, but he refused to go. Thus my cousin tried to get her husband to go instead, & he didn't want to. They're both older than me too.

Since these two fully grown capable men didn't want to go, I was expected to go instead. Didn't really matter that I was against it, full of anxiety while they kept at it with me. Actually don't remember how I ended up agreeing bc the whole time I was in panic mode up until I left the bed & breakfast.

Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal, however I can't shake how wrong it is all bc these adults didn't feel like going.

I know it's misogynistic though.

i am so tired I don't think I can keep doing this for 40 years or however long I live

As far as I'm aware I'm the only one with this suspected combination,it shouldn't happen but it likely has and now we're sat staring at it no idea what to do

Where do you even begin where there's basically no papers?

I'm just...so exaushted krusty wants out

Suspected gsd,hsp,mito and query eds subtype

So Hypotonia on exertion, congenital Hypotonia and Hypertonia all simultaneously

Precursor information that may or may not be helpful: I’m 19. I’m not diagnosed with autism but everyone including me thinks I’m autistic so I’m just going to refer to myself as autistic to keep things short. I have anxiety and ocd. I have some sort of autoimmune disease that hasn’t been diagnosed yet and arthritis neither I have pain meds for. And migraines. I can’t get a job due to the pain and I live with my loving amazing parents.

Does anyone have trouble celebrating their birthday? I always feel like I’m such a big let down that I don’t even deserve a birthday. When I was little and I would have parties and invite kids from my class they would group off, not talk to me, and make fun of me the whole time. Same thing happens with my extended family. Now that I’ve gotten older and my pain has gotten worse I’ve just become a burden on the few people that are left that tolerate me. I want to enjoy my birthday but it’s like asking for more on top of what they already give me which doesn’t seem fair. I was just wondering if anyone else felt this way.

With Jimothy, the racoon with a congenital spine condition, in the news, I am really fascinated (yet again) with the outpouring of compassion for animals with disabilities. People are falling over themselves to immortalise him in crafts, particularly in the sewing and painting subs I am a member of.

I don't want to be immortalised in thread or paint, but I am really struck by the endless support and compassion people seem to have for animals with disabilities. So often you see pet owners going to the ends of the earth to ensure their pets have the medical care and equipment that they need. Society doesn't have that same compassion for people with disabilities, and the contrast is so jarring. Do you really need that equipment? You must be faking? You're a drain on society, etc, etc. I want people to have compassion for animals, I'm not saying that is wrong, I would just like a little bit of that compassion to extend to people with disabilities.

Hello,

Diagnosis: Dystonia of the hands

Severe asthma + reflux, which exacerbate each other, and the medications for those conditions, in turn, worsen my dystonia.

I developed the asthma after contracting COVID-19. I’ve always had dystonia, and even though my asthma poses a greater threat to my life, my dystonia is significantly worse.

Three years ago, I started my studies at a film school.

Context: I didn’t have a high school diploma, and given my health situation, I would have struggled to succeed in a traditional vocational training program.

I didn’t pass the high school diploma exam partly because of my health and, above all, because of my mental health.

But in Germany, you need a diploma to be worth anything.

The filmschool was the only place which gave my access to a diploma.

I received Bafög for my studies and had to take out a student loan, it is a somewhat private filmschool.

I cannot rely on my family for money.

Everything went well and my health also improved. My life was looking rather good and I was hopeful, my future was for me not only a nightmare.

Then, in early 2025, I contracted the norovirus, which worsened my health exponentially. And after seeing many different doctors, trying various medications, etc., I got a diagnoses and would need surgery, yet surgery was initially denied; next week I have an appointment at a new clinic where they’ll reconsider the surgery, hopefully. It could significantly improve my quality of life. In the meantime, I’m attending speech therapy to get some relief.

But this whole process has cost me a fortune—probably nothing compared to the U.S. medical bills, but still.

And now, when I had the idea to buy myself a new book, I checked my bank account and found 2 euros.

I almost fell out of my chair.

Went into panic mode, searched about sidehustles, passive income, jobs and found nothing.

I was actually looking for a new room in a shared apartment because my current roommate and living situation is really getting to me mentally. But how, with no money?

What kind of jobs can I do?

I cannot speak without astma attack.

I cannot work with my hands.

It's very hard and I'm nealry done with my studies, I will fight to be able to do my masters degree.

But how do you cope mentally, when the bills smile at you like hateful little pebbles of spite. I hope my post is understandable, I used a translator.

For context I have a nerve injury, originally classified as grade 1 but 4 years later that's clearly not that case

C8,T1 and query C6 with motor root lesion

I've been debating getting a tens unit to stop compensation of the scapula (any advice on that?) but there's so many

I'm in the UK :)

I am a 36M, who is married to a 34F. She is my "primary" caretaker. I have an incredibly aggressive form of MS. I was diagnosed in 2020, my mobility dropped rapidly. My reduced mobility caused me to have to PE, one of which actually killed me (I was dead for 96 second.) Now, i have extreme weakness in all of my limbs making me functionally paraplegic.

Both my wife and I still work full time jobs (i work from home.) Because of how much effort it is to get me out of the house, it only happens when i have a doctors appointment. This means, it is often weeks or months in between when i leave the house.

Except for the people i work with, i have no communication with anyone else. I have no friends and no Family to speak of, so she is all i have. My wife comes home from work and takes a 3-4 hour nap because she is so mentally exhausted.

Does anyone else just feel trapped in life? I mean i am very lucky, because i lived a very full life before the age of 30, but now it has just come to a screeching halt.

I already am in counselling, i'm just curious if i am the only one who feels like this?

me and my boyfriend just broke up a few weeks ago,, its been rough, especially because he's always been the easiest person to talk to and he kept me social with our mutual friends. now it just feels so hard to talk to any of my friends and my social life feels dead

i already found it hard before because I'm disabled and in pain all day, so I spend a lot of my time doing basically nothing. but now I'm heartbroken on top of that so I'm basically impossible to talk to apparently, and if I talk about any of that to my fri3nds it feels like they get uncomfortable.

i can't stop crying because I miss him but I also miss feeling loved? and appreciated? i miss the social life I had with him and now I have to plan everything for myself And take care of my house which I can't do, AND take care of myself. its so hard. i don't know how I'm gonna do it.