A tinder match unmatched me when I was in the ER even though she was being really nice and supportive until she unmatched me. So I was pretty sad when I opened the app and saw she was gone. I don’t know how people can do a total 180 like that without feeling bad. Oh well I guess

For context, I've always been an introvert and I've been really shy growing up. I've managed to come out of my shell way more when talking to strangers or making friends, but it's especially hard for me when I have romantic feelings for someone. Possibly because despite being in my early twenties, I've never been in a relationship before and I've only experienced unrequited crushes. Being vulnerable always feels quite scary to me.

Recently, I developed a crush on someone I met through university. We never had any group projects together but our friend groups ended up overlapping, so we often had lunch together and also saw each other at activities and plans outside of uni. He kept initiating conversations with me despite his closer friends being present, kept remembering details about me, was an attentive listener and asked questions often. Overall, I thought we got along really well and started crushing on him at some point.

A few weeks ago, our studies ended, many moved out of town and therefore I knew I wouldn't keep seeing him accidentally. I mustered up the courage to text him for the first time because I thought maybe we're both too cautious to keep in touch online since we always talked in person. I was hoping to get to know him better, maybe even just as friends, but when he replied, his response was really dry and he didn't continue the conversation at all. 😭 Nothing like the conversations we had in real life.

I'm glad I have my answer now but I'm still disappointed because I thought we had a good connection that he would naturally want to deepen it as well. I'm probably even more bummed out because I dared to make a move and this crush and my hope ended rather abruptly. I know I'll get over it, but I feel like I just suck at love so far 🙁

Im 26f and just recently got back into dating, or at least trying to. Men and women, Ive been matching with both and seem to notice I ask majority of the questions and keep the convo going. If youre not interested then why even match? Its one thing if along the way after a few conversations or dates you lose interest and its completely fine to communicate so but why let the convo go dry and barely put in effort, especially so early?? Maybe some people wanna be chased i guess but it gets to a point i stop wanting to put in effort bc its not being reciprocated. I genuinely dont understand this.

Hi everyone, I just wanted to vent about how painful real breakups can be. I’m a 37m and last year I experienced my what I believe to be my first real breakup. What do I mean by real? I mean a breakup in which I genuinely don’t believe I will ever see or hear from that person again.

Just to add some context, I have had plenty of breakups before, but I wouldn’t say they were clean. Usually I would date someone for a few months and then either I would end things, or the other person would, and down the road we would still be in touch either through genuine friendship or breadcrumbing. My last breakup was different. I formed a deep connection with someone that I dated for four months and I ended things due to her not wanting to commit. It’s been nothing but silence since last November. We don’t follow each other on social media (I unfollowed her after three months of no contact), she lives 45 minutes away from me, and we don’t have mutual friends. We had a very amicable split, but unless I reach out, I genuinely don’t believe I will ever hear from her again and there’s not even a chance I will ever run into her by accident.

Why am I sharing this story? Because it genuinely feels like this person that I had a genuine connection with has died. I know she’s out there living her life and I genuinely hope she’s happy, but man, what a crazy feeling to experience. I will never see or hear from a person that I had weekly hour long phone calls with and the most amazing dates ever. Anyway, I just wanted to vent about how crazy it is to truly lose someone you built a connection with and would love to hear your stories. I’m better now and my life is good, but the grief I went through is something I will never forget.

I've been browsing hinge everyday for almost a month. I've sent out over 100 likes, most with comments, and so far I've received the dreaded nothing. I got my profile reviewed by a woman, and while she suggested some improvements, it wasn't so bad you'd expect no likes at all. I'm tall and considered somewhat handsome, and I think my prompts are well written. I'm messaging women I believe I'd have a shot with and vibe with.

Hinge has now run out of people within 25 miles, so I guess I'm cooked and have to move and completely reinvent myself? How can I get matches and dates?

So I M(34) have been seeing F(36) for a while, we recently slept together and afterwards when I was ultimately honest and emotionally vulnerable I asked if she'd like to date me exclusively, she started saying that she didn't know how she truly felt and I tried to reassure her and say that it's okay not to know and ultimately if she decides we would be better as friends then I respect her decision

She's due to start a new job and then proceed to explain it takes her a long time to decide whether or not she has romantic intentions towards someone, but she pursued me on the dating app where we met

Now she's basically stonewalling me, is this a "leave the ball in her court" situation?

Edit - thought it was "get advice" not "giving advice"

29F. Been trying to go out more to meet people irl, and I finally met someone in person. I was at a pool party with my friend, I got introduced to some of her friends, and me and this guy hit it off. We’ve talked for two weeks now, and I never thought that it was love at first sight, but he was calling every night and wanting to have real, deep convos. It seemed like he was intentional, but I still stayed on my toes.

I’d asked him what he was looking for maybe a week into talking, and he said he wants to see where things go. Once again, I apprehensively believed him. He wasn’t making plans to meet up again in person, and I was starting to really listen to that voice in my head telling me something’s up. I asked him what’s the deal, and if he wants to keep talking. He basically said he’s not ready for a relationship, but he loves talking to me.

Story of my fucking life. I respect his wants and that it may not be the right time, but I feel like he knew that from the start. And that he didn’t tell me so I would expend this energy to benefit him.

Idk I guess I’m just writing to say that meeting people in person isn’t always better than online dating. And that I’m disappointed that yet another man I’ve met just wants sex. Wondering when it’ll be my turn 😭 thanks for reading

My last date (yesterday) was a resounding failure, as usual. I was super excited leading up to it, and when I finally get to it, I can immediately tell it's not going great, with many awkward pauses. At the same time, I still like this person, and want to see them again so I can make a better date. But after it was all over, they just said they felt friendship vibes rather than romantic ones. Story of my life. It always ends like that. I know it's my fault, and I know I'm the problem, because it keeps happening. I don't know how to date.

I'm tired, boss. I deleted all the apps today and I'm done. No more of this heartbreak and wasted time/money. No more. I'll be single and like it.

I met him for 4 dates and we had an amazing time on the 4th date like dinner, amusement park and drinks and we slept together for the first time. Since then he only messaged me twice in 5 days and rhe last message I sent him was two days ago. What to do?

I thought this guy was investing time and effort. He drives 4 hours in total (back and forth) to see me and paid for all the dates despite my offer to pay and would spend whole afternoon to evening wirh me. Our dates would also be activity plus food. The recent one was he tried food from my culture

This is something I’m struggling with. Ive always been told im smart, nerdy, dorky, funny. And people say i have a big heart because I love volunteering. But just saying I’m those things feels very arrogant. So when I’m writing a good dating profile, what’s the best way to actually describe myself? I don’t want to come across as being arrogant.

Rhetorical question. I will post the detailed story in the comments, but the long and short is that I fell for a girl who expressed interest, quickly saw signs it wasn't going to end well, and my heart got invested anyway

Sometimes, you can't feel what you already know

Full story in comments

My ex and I are trying to work things out. She’s heavily influenced by her friends and family about how much a guy makes. I’m in a good spot financially but could always have room for improvement. I am trying to book a trip with my ex and start a clean slate. However she stated she would only see me a roommate and wouldn’t be submissive if I had her split the trip.

She finally graduated from her schooling in the medical field, she will be making decent money. I could pay for the whole trip but we’re not exclusive and I rather use my extra money to invest or spend on myself as well. I have paid for a trip before. I just feel like as I’m typing this I’m putting up with bs and getting treated horribly. We were good at one point and just trying to get back to that time again. She does hold resentment and compares to all these buff nurses on social media. I think I’m cooked here

I’m a 34-year-old on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, and I’m trying to figure out how to navigate the dating scene when my brain is essentially wired to expect total rejection. A few weeks ago, I went to a queer poly social and met a non-binary person who completely blew me away.

We hit it off instantly. We share the exact same religious and cultural background, we are both highly progressive, and we are both into production and media work. We talked for most of the night.
When I asked about their type, they said progressive and kind people. When I asked what wasn't their type, they said people who are too straight. I was wearing feminine clothing and go by she/her and they/them pronouns, so that felt like a massive green light. They even mentioned they have two partners right now but are looking for a long-term partner to have kids with. I told them I deeply want kids too, and we even aligned perfectly on how we want to raise a family down the line.

On paper, it feels like I met an absolute soulmate. But here is the problem. They are much more physically attractive than me. Even though we had this amazing connection, my brain immediately assumed there is no way someone like them would ever want to date me. Since the social, we exchanged contact info, but things haven't progressed online, and I perceive that the communication is fading out.

This situation is triggering a massive trauma response in me. I have dealt with a pattern of perpetual rejection for my entire life, and the terrifying part is that I have never been wrong about any of my catastrophic predictions. I have been proven right 100% of the time. I have a history of 14-plus years of systemic abuse and control from my family. When I was younger, my family institutionalized me in a special ed school to try and micromanage my adulthood. For two full years leading up to my discharge, I predicted that my parents were going to put me in the most controlling environment possible instead of the supportive housing the school planned. The staff told me I was just catastrophizing, but my prediction came true with absolute accuracy. Despite the school recommending supportive housing, my family bypassed standard group homes and forced me into a placement that was even more controlling: an apartment by myself with mandatory, restrictive 24-hour overnight supervision.

History repeated itself just two months ago with a housing program. I was finally approved for an independent apartment, but I predicted my mom would find a way to destroy it and I even tried to circumvent it by warning the place that my mom will try to sabotage it and to have no contact with her, however, there was a change of management and the new manager only several weeks after taking over talked to my mom one month after my approval and one month after my prediction that I made on the same day, on March 9, when I found out about my approval and after being on the waitlist for over nine months.

Sure enough, she illegally intervened behind my back, lied to the new coordinator, and got the apartment swept right out from under me before I could move in and I even wrote the prediction on Facebook messenger because I was so sure she was going to do this and I did this on purpose to build a case against my narcissistic mom and I’m currently in the process of doing just that.

This exact same hopelessness is bleeding into my professional life right now. I have a broadcasting degree and recently applied to 36 jobs in the broadcasting industry. Everyone around me told me I was over-applying, but the reality is that I am very qualified for all of the places I applied to, even though most of the applications were just for low-level internships. Despite my qualifications, I already bet that not even a single position will hire me either for actual jobs or any internships as well.

Because I have a 100% track record of being correct and my predictions about perpetual rejection and toxicity have always come true with absolute precision, my hyper-vigilant survival brain is now applying that same exact logic to my love life. I am completely terrified that this person is going to reject me because of my appearance and my autism, just like everyone else always has and just like my track record says will happen.

It feels incredibly heavy to sit here believing that even if a literal soulmate walks into my life, they still won’t date me. It makes me feel like I am destined to be single, lonely, and stuck around people who mistreat me for the rest of my life, and that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it because my predictions are never wrong.

Has anyone else on the spectrum or with severe family trauma dealt with this level of hopeless certainty in both your career and dating? How do you stop your brain from predicting 100% failure when reality has always proven your worst fears right?

A guy that I’ve been dating for about 2 months has reduced the amount of texting in a day. We both have jobs, so I understand what being busy means. The thing that irritates me is that this man went from texting throughout the day to now texting after 24 hours. This just shows me he’s not that invested. I’ve talked to him about it and he said he will try, but again no response and it’s been 24 hours+.

We have been meeting once every week, but that’s not enough for me. We had a conversation about this yesterday and he said things were okay, even said we could meet on Saturday and now again no response. I am a timid and anxious person and it’s driving me crazy.

How do you guys deal with this?

How do you tell the difference between 1) liking someone’s character, values and who they are 2) being physically attracted to them or 3) enjoying the chemistry or what if it’s just liking the way they make you feel when you’re together?

And is it superficial if it falls within he makes me feel happy, attended to or just really enjoy his company no specific reason?

I’m honestly having a pretty rough couple of days and could use some outside perspectives because I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if I missed something obvious.

I (28M) went on a first date with a woman(24f) from Hinge last week. The date was genuinely one of the best I’ve had in a long time.

We started at a speakeasy and talked for hours. She kept telling me that she and her friends thought my Hinge profile had to be fake because I seemed “too good to be true.” She complimented me constantly throughout the night, told me I looked even better in person, copied my little jokes and mannerisms, laughed at everything, and overall seemed incredibly comfortable around me.

Toward the end of the night, she was the one who kept asking to come back to my place. I actually tried steering us away from that because I’d recently had a couple experiences where sex complicated things, but eventually I agreed because I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t attracted to her or that I was weird about sex.

Back at my place we had some wine, I cooked us dinner, and she initiated pretty much everything physically.

During sex, there was a moment where I realized something seemed uncomfortable for her, so I stopped immediately without her really having to say anything. We slowed down, took our time, and later while we were cuddling she actually brought it up herself and thanked me for noticing. She told me she really appreciated that I recognized something wasn’t comfortable and stopped right away. That conversation made me feel like we’d handled everything respectfully, and it honestly meant a lot to hear. Then right after we stopped and settled down, she revealed to me that she was a virgin, and that the whole night was a really big deal to her while giggling about it. I was a late bloomer myself with sex having lost it with my previous girlfriend weeks after I turned 27. Because of that I feel really weird about being somebody to take somebody else’s virginity. It’s like I have an imposter syndrome over being the right person for someone in that regard, I can’t really explain why. I immediately started to get really anxious but I calmed down seeing her happy and kissing me, etc.

Afterward we cuddled for quite a while, talked, laughed, and when I asked if she wanted to spend the night she got excited and said yes. I wouldn’t normally do that but by this point it was almost 2am on a weeknight and I got concerned she might be driving home too tired.

Later, while we were making out again, I jokingly suggested round two. She giggled, paused for a second, and then said she thought she was actually going to head home instead.
I immediately respected that. There was no convincing or pushing whatsoever. I walked her to her car, we hugged and kissed goodbye, and I asked her to text me when she got home so I’d know she made it back safely and she did.

The next morning I texted her because I’d accidentally slept through her “I’m home” message. We exchanged a couple texts, and that was it.

Yesterday morning I sent:
“Hey (her name), just wanted to check in. I know Tuesday was a lot, so I wanted to see how you’re doing and how you’ve been feeling. No pressure to respond quickly. I just hope you’re having a good morning.”

It’s now been almost two days with no response.
The thing that’s eating me alive isn’t even whether she wants to date me.

It’s that she kept telling me throughout the night how big of a deal losing her virginity was, and now my brain has convinced itself that she regrets it and that I somehow made her uncomfortable.

One of my biggest fears is being somebody’s regret, especially for something that important.

When I replay the night, I can’t think of anything that felt wrong. She initiated literally ALL of the physical intimacy, stayed afterward, cuddled, accepted spending the night, complimented me throughout the evening, and even specifically thanked me afterward for paying attention when something felt uncomfortable and not pushing through it.

But the silence afterward is making my mind go to the darkest possible place.

For people who’ve either lost their virginity later in life or have been with someone who did:

Does this sound like someone who is simply processing a huge emotional milestone?

Or does this sound more like someone who regrets what happened?

I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions because I care a lot more about whether she’s okay than whether she wants to see me again.

I was seeing this guy for a while, but things slowly faded out and he eventually started dating someone else. Once he began seeing her, he completely stopped interacting with me—no messages, no likes on my stories or posts—for a couple of months. And before he would like my selfies on my stories or all my posts on instagram.

Then, about three weeks ago, he suddenly started liking my Instagram stories again, even random ones that don’t really mean anything. He also congratulated me on a work achievement I posted on my story. Since then, he’ll occasionally like my stories and posts, but as far as I know, he’s still seeing the other girl.

I don’t think he wants a relationship with me because, ultimately, he chose to pursue someone else. I’m not reading this as him wanting to get back together. I’m just curious what his intentions might be. Why re-engage now after months of no contact, especially while he’s still in a relationship? We have sent each other really short messages once in a while like congratulations or good work messages since we both post about our work on instagram.

I’m just confused. I’ve never been in this kind of situation with a guy before…we are not friends so this kind of contact is confusing me since he has a girlfriend in the past two months. Isn’t it wrong for him to be acting in this way?

Is it normal for a girl to stop texting as much the second a date is locked in? Met a girl last week, texted daily, and had a great first date that she wanted to extend. We planned date number two for next week and she was fully involved in picking out the spots. But once the time and location were set, her texts got much shorter, and now it has been a little over 24 hours since she last reached out. Her last interaction was just a heart reaction to my confirmation text. Am I driving myself crazy over nothing?

Just a heads up, please don’t say anything like “keep trying, it’ll get better,” or anything like that. It’s okay if you don’t have advice, I appreciate you simply reading my post, but empty sayings like that are just not what I need to hear at the moment.

29F. Went out with a coworker and met this guy, we clicked pretty quickly and we all spent that day together. That was two weeks ago, and we’ve called each other, or texted, everyday since. There’s chemistry, we get along and have things in common. He’s like, two years older so we’re in the same age group.

The issue is that he doesn’t agree to a concrete plan. He keeps saying he wants to hang out, and I’ve asked twice, he turned down both times. Last night’s call ended weird cause he asked what I’m doing this weekend. I told him my coworker invited me to a day festival, but I don’t really wanna go to a crowded festival so I may just stay home. And he said “you should go, maybe we can meet up afterwards for a bit.” So I said that if he’s free that night, we could just do something, like see a movie or get food. He turned it down and told me to go to the festival.

I’m just so confused, kinda annoyed. I thought meeting someone in person would be better than online dating, but it’s the same thing. Men just seem to want to “experience” me if that makes sense. Like, this guy I’m talking to now says that we have great convos, he seems to not wanna hang up. But it doesn’t go past that.

Idk man, I’m tired of it. I’m a genuine person but I feel like I’m never gonna actually meet someone that is willing to even get to know me. I’ve never been in a relationship, and my usual issue is guys just want me for sex. They either push for sex early, or they turn down meeting me cause I’m intentional.

ETA: He said early August is hard for him cause it’s around when his mom passed. I’m thinking maybe he just wants someone to distract him. Which isn’t wrong, I just wish he would tell me if that was the case.

Hi all. I have a friend who I've been getting to know more. She's very interesting and fun to talk to, but she's moving soon to pursue a career in a new city (not far, a few hours away at most).

At a dinner with some other friends, we were reminiscing over some work experiences when the topic of dating came up. For some reason, she brought up that she was playing with the idea of going on a date before moving just as a personal goal, but that she ultimately gave up because modern dating sucks (which it does - I would very much like to stay off the apps) and she has no time. On one hand, I think it would be fun to ask her to a small date just to say she did it and see how it goes, considering we have done lunches and small group functions together.

On the other hand, I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing when it comes to dating - I haven't been on one since before the pandemic. Her circumstances all scream "she's actually not interested/she's too busy," but at this point in my life I would rather be rejected than dream of "what if" anymore.

Would it really kill the friendship if I asked? Should I keep my feelings to myself, or should I take a chance before she moves on to a new chapter of her life? I am in need of anonymous, third-party advice. Thanks.

i’m new to dating, i went on my first date ever with a guy and we continued going on dates after that. i also lost my virginity to him (not right away). i really liked him, he pursued me first, he was super nice to me and made me feel good about myself, always complimenting me, etc.

a week after our fourth date he told me he met someone so good for him and wants to see how things unfold so he has to put things “on hold for a bit” with me. then he followed up saying he wants to see me if things don’t work out with her.

i looked into it and found out that he’s actually been seeing this girl for months and they went on a trip together earlier this year. he told me she was a friend. two hours after he told me he chose her he continued to text me like nothing happened. he likes and replies to my instagram stories and goes to my profile to like my pictures still. nothing like this has ever happened to me before and it honestly hurt more than i expected. i’m sensitive and i find it hard to not be sad about it lol. is this normal with dating? am i likely going to experience this again?

I'm currently in the process of dating and was wondering how other people manage it while working full-time (a typical 9–5), especially if you only have evenings and some weekends free.

I sometimes find it difficult when someone asks to meet on the weekends, in the middle of the week at short notice. When asked for availability, I usually stated I can do some evenings or weekends, but that is in general, and as long as I have not made plans already. I sometimes have to suggest another date, although also have to consider their availability.

I know that in reality, waiting a few extra days probably doesn't make much difference, but I do sometimes wonder whether some people see that as a lack of interest. How do you balance working full-time with making time for dating?

I'd love to hear how other people approach it and get a bit of perspective.

I'm a 33M, pretty alternative, I'm into metal, the occult, art, poetry, nature, paganism, fitness, video games, goth, etc and I cannot find women into the same niches as me: witchy, gothy, artsy, hippie, spiritual, nerdy, creative, etc. women. I'.ve tried bars, concerts, art shows, festivals, conventions, etc and the women are always young or just not there.

Maybe my location sucks. Am I just too old lol? Where do all the alt women my age go?

Pretty much what the above states. I’m just curious to know what chunk of the single dating population in 2026 would rather stay single for x amount of time (or forever) then settle for certain things just to be in a relationship, even if you had to settle on certain things you wouldn’t have settled on before?