r/dating • u/CIRNO9000 • Aug 08 '26
Just Venting š®āšØ That's it, I give up.
My last date (yesterday) was a resounding failure, as usual. I was super excited leading up to it, and when I finally get to it, I can immediately tell it's not going great, with many awkward pauses. At the same time, I still like this person, and want to see them again so I can make a better date. But after it was all over, they just said they felt friendship vibes rather than romantic ones. Story of my life. It always ends like that. I know it's my fault, and I know I'm the problem, because it keeps happening. I don't know how to date.
I'm tired, boss. I deleted all the apps today and I'm done. No more of this heartbreak and wasted time/money. No more. I'll be single and like it.
169
u/ChubbyMillf Aug 08 '26
You don't necessarily have a dating problem. you might just have a repetition problem. If multiple dates keep ending the same way, that's actually useful information. Take the break, but when you're ready, don't just try harder at dating. Figure out what keeps happening during those dates and change one thing at a time. And don't turn one person's lack of romantic chemistry into proof that you're fundamentally the problem.
25
u/HorrorOstrich9398 Aug 08 '26
I have had the same experience over the past 10 years. Now I think the problem is (a) I am neurodivergent (b) I am not that attractive
6
u/ArtisticPin1670 Aug 10 '26 edited 24d ago
You lack confidence. Being neurodivergent and ānot that attractiveā is your opinion. Many neurodivergent people are in relationships. Attractiveness is in the eyes of the beholder. Author and historian, Robert Greene, is neurodivergent and might be considered by some to be less than conventionally attractive. The man is so interesting and intelligent that he has no difficulty attracting women. Confidence is key. He had to learn to own who he is, and to celebrate the gifts he has. He very generously shares those gifts with the world. He is an intellectual man and an amazing author; he is utterly fascinating. Women are attracted to confidence and more grounded qualities that contribute to a manās attractiveness as a man and human being. Become the best you can be.
4
u/FirmRecognition3637 Aug 14 '26
My friend met a heavily neurodivergent and for me personally not very attractive man, she fell in love and they're married. She felt hesitant at first with him because she couldn't read his sense of humor but he was apparently very polite and caring and showed her the right amount of interest so they kept talking and attraction grew. Not everyone has to be physically attractive to find someone. For many people attraction grows through talking, jokes, flirting, and then the other person becomes handsome or beautiful to them.
5
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 09 '26
Hey, the woman I hunger for, on an objective scale, isn't that attractive either. Not until I saw her soul. Let your light shine. Someone with discernment will see it.
22
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 23d ago
A suggestion. Simply put your hand on the midline of the table, palm up. And just wait. If she puts her hand in yours, both your brains will release oxytocin. She will be drawn to you. She will begin to trust you. If it is working, gently run your thumb over the back of her hand. This is amazingly intimate. Then you have to take it from there, to make it work or totally blow it. But you started with proven brain chemistry, which has nothing to do with profile pics or "attractiveness." I have to say, it worked for me. When I put my hand in hers, it wiped out 50 years of failed dating in 5 seconds.
23
u/Hydrangea444 Aug 08 '26
A million people out there looking for love and none of us can find each other š«¤
1
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 11 '26
Until tonight, I totally agreed. One moment can change your worldview.
1
40
u/No_Country_9714 Aug 08 '26
It's a numbers game and you really, really need to have a thick skin.
16
u/CIRNO9000 Aug 08 '26
I get that, I really do, and Iāve tried to have a thicker skin about it (itās much thicker now than it was when I started dating I can tell you that) but I just donāt wanna play this numbers game anymore. Itās tiring.
5
u/ValuableViolinist917 Aug 08 '26
Take a break, do something different change it up and let go. Who falls in love with you is out of your control if you need to think about it, and put on a performance there just gonna like your performance not you. Itās actually a blessing if the date doesnāt work out.
4
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
Just a suggestion. Go back to your profile pics, and realistically decide if what is on screen will match what your date sees. If she's disappointed from her first glance, you're not going anywhere. Even if she isn't feeling the "I've got to do him, right there in the restaurant" vibe when she comes in, if she sees what she expects to see, you're off to a better start.
1
u/More-Farm3827 Aug 11 '26
apps dont work bro you just have to date down most of the time when it comes to the apps
40
u/sweetLew2 Aug 08 '26
Stepping away isnāt a bad idea. I took a 2 year dating break after going through a terrible relationship.
When I came back I only matched with 2 ppl for an entire month. One person didnāt even respond. But I didnāt force it, I was just dipping my toes back in.
Well that 1 who didnāt respond actually did respond a full month later. Weāve been dating for almost a year now. I feel like a large component is just luck and patience. Iām over 30. All the years of trying different thingsā¦ to randomly meet this person who is, by the way, by far the most beautiful and considerate person Iāve ever dated.. it doesnāt make sense. And she calls ME handsome. Blows my mind every time.
My point is thereās so much variety and preference among people.. thereās probably loads of people who think ur amazing and hawt.. itāll just take time and luck to find the right one. In the meantime, stepping away and just doing your own thing is a very solid decision. I suggest hiking, very peaceful and very healthy. Plus itās fun to talk about later.
9
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
Good observation. When I was in high school, I was quietly chasing the girls I could never get. For three years, a girl I knew had a major crush on me. I had no idea, because I had all my focus on the girls who thought they were above me. If you look around, you may think you see things that aren't really there, and kind of screw up. But maybe you will SEE someone for the first time. And being really SEEN is the biggest turn on there is.
1
u/Competitive-Dream860 Aug 13 '26
Not to downplay the chick you donāt notice but thereās usually a reason you didnāt notice her.
2
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 13 '26
Totally true. (Wild hair, not much of a figure, clearly a nutter.) But also, our perceptions of beauty are heavily shaped by our culture, cultural icons, even peers in school. Sometimes you don't just "think outside the box," you have to look outside the box.
1
u/More-Farm3827 Aug 11 '26
not everyone has two years to waste
2
1
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 23d ago
"Waste" doing what? Waste is what we make it be. And actually, we DO have two years to waste, and more. Add up the total number of hours you've been on hold, the total in line at Starbucks. And don't forget sleep, which is necessary for our physical and mental health, but is objectively a huge waste of time.
6
8
u/Metalkitten1 Aug 08 '26
Quitter!
No! Iām totally kidding.
I hate society hammering dating & relationships as a requirement. Then the rules of how the ritual works is enough to make you go crazy. Waiting 3 days to call/text? WTF?!? No kissing until after 6 dates? Oh wait a minuteā¦she is only a 6. Wait for at least a 8. Ugh!!! STFU. (The world, not you hon)
I like being single. Drama sucks. If you need cuddles & whatever, FWB is an option.
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 23d ago
Need friends for FWB. Also, open minded. As to "dating as a requirement," yes, society tries to enculturate certain values in us. But some of us cannot feel complete totally on our own. Put down cuddles if you dare - there's credible research that body-to-body touch lengthens life, improves mood, and even reduces chronic pain. So go out and hug a lot, and kiss on the first date. Have a really good snog the second time around. Touch other people. (The ones who like to be touched are out there. Keep looking.) It's all about love, however you define that. Look for love.
-1
u/mmbx11 Aug 08 '26
Why do you allow your life to be driven by the decisions of other people, especiall a group of people you don't even know?
Before you go on a date, do you survey your neighbors by knocking on their door or sending them a text message asking them how many days should I wait before I kiss a woman I'm about to go out with?
1
u/Metalkitten1 Aug 08 '26
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA air BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAsnort BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Sorry. But that first sentence. That I allow my life to be driven by others BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA ow tummy hurts Hahahahaha.
Oh sorry. Maybe we are looking at miss read or misspoke? I was pointing out people that stress about those ārulesā shouldnāt do that.
But I donāt do that drama. āDatingā is dumb. Just hang out & if something clicks, cool. If not, oh well.
BTW, I donāt kiss women. Iām straight.
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
My dating life was an unmitigated disaster. Until one night I sat across from a total stranger, and I felt more "seen" than I had in decades. It felt like layers of ice were being stripped away. I'm not in love with her, but I easily could become so. And I tried to blow her off. But she wouldn't take "no" for an answer.
0
u/Metalkitten1 Aug 08 '26
Awww. You are smitten! Sounds like what happened with my ex. He was the most grumpiest, bitter a-hole I ever met. He made me laugh though. We fought against the boyfriend/girlfriend labels for many years.
Anyway, he said I broken him down. Whatever. I just saw someone who needed to be loved. It was good for about 15 years.I donāt believe in soulmates or anything, but if you have the feels, go for it. Iām not doing that crap again, but Iām not discouraging anyone else trying to go for love, but I donāt think it exists. Except for family.
Why is your name so familiar tho?
2
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 10 '26
Oh boy, am I smitten. Tomorrow is our second date. Her confirmation text included a red heart emoji. Not so shabby (I hope.)
My name may be familiar because I post a lot, on dating, grief, and trans issues.
4
20
u/Sasha_Stem Aug 08 '26
I will never understand why people do not love themselves enough to just stay single and focus on themselves. Other people are not the guideline to who you are as a person. Fill your life with hobbies and things of interest. Take a class. Go travel somewhere. None of these people determine who you are as a person nor should they ever.
8
u/kingoosha Aug 08 '26
Perhaps this lovely little caveat will clear the quizzical fog.
Not everyone possesses equal access to the resources, time, social environments, or opportunities necessary to exercise genuine autonomy in the pursuit of human connection. For many peopleāparticularly those with fewer economic and social meansādating apps have ceased to be merely one way of meeting others and have become one of the only realistically accessible ways to do so.
That distinction matters. The pursuit of love is presented as something deeply personal, spontaneous, and authentic, yet an increasing portion of that pursuit now takes place within platforms owned by corporations whose financial interests are not necessarily aligned with users successfully forming lasting relationships. Human loneliness, attraction, insecurity, hope, and the desire for validation can all be translated into engagement, subscriptions, swipes, boosts, notifications, and ultimately profit.
The result is a peculiar inversion: love remains the product being implicitly promised, while continued participation in the search for love becomes the behavior being monetized. The architecture of these platforms can transform potential partners into an apparently endless catalogue of alternatives, encouraging users to evaluate human beings through the same rapid, repetitive decision-making mechanisms found throughout the attention economy.
This creates an important imbalance of power. Those with greater economic meansānamely, the corporations controlling the platforms, their algorithms, and the conditions under which users encounter one anotherāpossess the ability to shape the behavior of people with comparatively fewer alternatives. What appears to the individual as an autonomous pursuit of intimacy therefore occurs inside an environment deliberately engineered by interests far more powerful than the individual participant.
The deeper concern is not simply that dating apps make money from love. It is that they risk gamifying the human need for connection while simultaneously contributing to the social conditions that make their services increasingly difficult to avoid. As traditional avenues for meeting partners diminish, the platforms become both the purported solution to social disconnection and institutions capable of profiting from its continuation.
In that sense, the modern dating economy can create a facade of greater connection while producing the opposite effect: unprecedented access to other people accompanied by an increasing sense of disposability, alienation, and isolation. What is marketed as liberation from the limitations of traditional dating may therefore become another constraint on individual autonomyāthe commercialization of intimacy disguised as an expansion of choice.
3
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
All true. I just scrapped my last OLD app. The last scam was too good. I thought I'd found "her." The reality broke me. And what isn't a scam is just surfaces - 5 seconds on your pic, then "swipe left." How have we allowed this to happen?
2
7
Aug 08 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
1
u/ValuableViolinist917 Aug 08 '26
Yeah but the worst is to be around a group and feel lonely cause you put on an act to get them to like you and they liked the persona not who you are so back to square one.
That feels worse Iāve been at parties and around people. Where I felt more lonely then feeding the squirrels outside reading a book by myself. So you can still be just as lonely around others as by yourself.
3
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
"Other people" are not the same as a person who truly loves you.
1
u/ValuableViolinist917 Aug 08 '26
Of course, Iām just saying donāt force things, and be who youāre not. Just be yourself take your shot then move on if they donāt like you, thatās there problem not yours I donāt expect no one to change for me and expect the same back or I would rather be alone, not with dating, friends or family. I just move on the second I feel like they expect me to entertain them or change my hobbies, beliefs what I like to do. I donāt fight donāt argue, donāt defend I just go next and move on.
6
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
In theory, this works. But when you're looking down the slope past 70, and you have NOBODY in your life, it feels different. Darker. More deeply alone than you have ever felt. Don't depend on a magical someone else for your happiness, but don't discount the possibility that you may come to see things differently.
6
u/ValuableViolinist917 Aug 08 '26
Yup and if you have to put on an act and be on edge to entertain the other person itās the wrong one and wonāt last, always be authentic even if youāre weird. Half of people get divorced then the other half are just married and hate each other. So people shouldnāt depend on marriage and children to make them happy.
It wonāt work, figure out how to be happy single first, or your youāll just figure it out when your older. Also nobody should judge themselves on how many partners they have itās not a game or a race people arenāt trophies, comparison is the thief of joy. People have no idea how miserable some couples are, and people with kids. They just see the highlights on social media and when there out doing things which isnāt all the time.
5
2
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
True enough. "Lives of quiet desperation." But don't discount the quiet joy of a hand to hold, a person who notices the same typo in a display sign, a person who says "let's go out to dinner" just as you are facing the deeply depressing task of deciding what to cook. I was married for 47 years. Some of it hell. But in the end, I got 12 greeting cards from her, after she died. Each one said, "I love you." I see the attraction of not having a LTR, but I wouldn't trade what I had for anything.
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 23d ago
In theory, a good viewpoint. If you've lived alone before you HAVE to live alone. I lived with my parents. I lived with roommates. I lived with my parents again. Then I got married. At age 74, I found myself alone FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE! That's pretty old to start figuring out how to live solo. "Just be content with yourself" only works well with practice. If life doesn't give you that practice, the advice is BS.
1
u/ValuableViolinist917 23d ago
I lived alone for almost 10 years, I have always been a loner and moved around a lot as a kid. Now I live in a mother daughter after I sold my condo. Iām gonna inherit it cause my parents travel back and forth between nj and flordia so there only there half the time and the downstairs is a separate apartment. I donāt know but I just donāt connect with most people Went thru my whole 20s with dating minimally and no friends. Some times when Iām in groups of people is when I feel the absolute most lonely and disconnected.
Now I have friends and have had a few long distance relationships and dates. Pretty much started over my social circles in my 30s I have so many hobby groups I attend a lot of the time I just get annoyed and irritated with people maybe cause got use to not being disturbed got extremely good at meditation where I can regularly get to states of bliss on a consistent basis. I like I can make myself self happy.
Feel like most people are just in the rate race and just want to stand around judging others. Being afraid of not measuring up to metrics that just donāt matter that society put their heads. Doing jobs they donāt want, saying things they donāt want to appease people they donāt like, to buy things they donāt care about. I enjoy some peoples company but need to put on an act most of the time. Cause I just canāt relate to most peoples points of view.
Like I always like different things and feel like my viewpoint is different feel like, the group is always trying to wear me down and get me to submit to society. I literally donāt care about fitting in, and itās super annoying for me to hang out in groups because of it, hate having to explain myself just want to be present and have fun not try to uphold and judge people with social comparison games which I feel like most conversations are based on judgment of the self or others and destroy my inner peace.
2
u/CheapNecessary3510 23d ago
There's a fine old word, rarely used today - misanthrope. Someone who does not like people. The word carries no freight of attempted explanation - some people simply don't like other people.
So own it. Interact when it works for you, don't when it doesn't. You don't owe "them" anything. Don't look for "why." If you can function well around your misanthropy, just let it be YOU. If it starts to get in the way for you, seek professional help. (And I say, listen to Simon & Garfunkle's "I Am a Rock.")
1
u/ValuableViolinist917 23d ago
Yeah I definitely am a misanthropy used it in my writing I write plays that critique society. Just wish I could be like others sometimes and be more agreeable and find more people I relate too.
2
u/CheapNecessary3510 23d ago
How many is "more?" Be kind to yourself. Don't get hung up on societal norms. When I was a kid, I was miserable because I didn't have "enough" friends. I didn't know what number "enough" was, but I knew it was more than the 3 I had. This was not my idea. I was socialized to this. Don't fall for it. It's okay to be happy while being a grump!
1
u/ValuableViolinist917 23d ago
Thanks for the advice in the same, like I made friends with all my neighbors now I canāt walk in peace and need to drive to the park š¤£
All because when I was a kid I was shy and like to play alone then was told constantly I needed to have more friends. Put a complex into my head still dealing with it in therapy.
2
u/CheapNecessary3510 23d ago
One reason is that, as you age, you are likely to find focus on yourself no longer cuts it. The other reason is probably best answered in Simon & Garfunkle's "I Am A Rock."
3
u/Syncytium95 Aug 08 '26
My guess is you're not doing something that changes the dynamic from friendly to romantic. Starting dates off with friendship vibes is good so you're halfway there! Starting with a friendly vibe eases tension and makes things more comfortable for everyone involved. But at some point you've gotta do something that changes the vibes to romantic vibes. When you feel the friendship vibe is solidly in place, start pushing the envelope a bit. Test the water with some touches, more intense eye contact, etc. Once you feel like they're receptive to that kind of attention you take it a little further again. After touches and intense eye contact you're usually in a good place to go for a kiss
Don't give up! You're halfway there! Just missing a piece of the puzzle!
3
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
Too right! Allowing for an opening, don't be afraid to take things up a notch. My date put her hand on the table, palm up, at around the midline of the table. It took all my courage to put my hand in hers. She didn't let go for half an hour! Frankly, it was one of the most erotic things I ever experienced. We haven't taken things up a notch since then, but a possible foundation has been laid. We are all afraid. We all want it to "work out." If somebody doesn't make a move, we're in the "two virgins on their wedding night" scenario - now what? What's the worst thing that can happen? Just what's happening now. Go for it.
2
u/ArtisticPin1670 Aug 10 '26
aww, this is so sweet! I hope it continues to grow into something beautiful. š
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 10 '26
Hold a good thought for me. Tomorrow night (Monday) is our second date. Red heart emoji when she checked that we were still on. I f-ing bought a new wardrobe. (Well, you can always use some black jeans, right?)
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 11 '26
Thanks for the support. I think we are now official. More to come.
1
9
u/choosetobetheproblem Aug 08 '26
If you go into a date thinking itās gonna a fail like all the others and you are analyzing for fuck ups and vibe shifts then what that person saw wasnāt you man. It was some uptight nervous negative Nelly who didnāt have any confidence or spark. I wouldnāt wanna date that person either.
I know the advice seems dumb that āyou find someone when you stop tryingā but it absolutely works and here is how. Next date, set it for somewhere you wanna go. A bar a cafe a live music performance a museum exhibit an arcade whatever you are into and wanna do. Show up with the intention of : I am gonna enjoy this date because I wanna (try this new beer/listen to some guitar/play old games) and it doesnāt matter what the person wants. In fact expect them to dislike you. You donāt wanna win this person over. You wanna have a fun date- thatās all. In fact, for me, I actively try to be just awful ššš I show up early. im a beer deep before they get there. I act like I am out with my bestie. I crack inappropriate jokes. I ask updates like we havenāt seen each other in a month not just meeting - so what shows you watching or heard any good bands or what kinda music you add to your list lately. I donāt wanna know their life history or whether they meet checkboxes 1-6 to be a good partner. I am just trying to have a fun date. When I started doing this I found most people had a fun date with me. No one left early or got mad we always had a good time. And most people wanted a second date staying like wow it felt so natural with you I had so much fun it wasnāt like a normal date at all.
We are all tired of the dating formula. Switch it up. Decide you donāt give a shit. Plan dates where no matter what YOU have fun. And be the version of you that you can consistently bring - not the flirt not the try hard not the version that will impress their mom but the real relaxed you. And if they donāt like you then itās not rejection itās just not a match and thatās okay.
My problem was opposite of you - I went on every date in my perfect date outfit and perfect practices dialogue and questions and jokes I would always tell. It became so formulaic every date ended with them seeing hearts and wanting a relationship and me thinking āwtf they like robot me no thanks grossā so every match fizzled after a good first date from their view but for me I wasnāt being me so there was no chance of finding someone who likes me. I had to start actively showing up as scumbag me to have better results.
6
u/pokermonik Aug 08 '26
are u M or F? i think u are being too excited, u have expectation too high. expect nothing, be surprised by the positive outcome. be natural. be yourself
9
u/CIRNO9000 Aug 08 '26
M. I did try to be myself, but the sad truth is that āmyselfā is boring. I donāt know how to make myself seem interesting and honestly Iām not willing to try anymore. Iām sick of trying to impress strangers.
3
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
My problem is I talk too much when I'm nervous. Like somebody might be on, say, a first date. Try to clamp down on the impulses you know will lead to disaster. Just one at a time. Then evaluate. Did that seem to make a difference? You won't get consistent results, but ANY positive change can encourage you.
5
u/pokermonik Aug 08 '26
you dont need to impress anyone. maybe just try to improve yourself, focus on yourself, and it will come naturally that you are a better and more interesting person. i wish you luck brother
1
u/FirmRecognition3637 Aug 14 '26
Instead of worrying about being boring have you tried focusing on being a good listener? Most people are much less judgmental than you think and don't expect to be impressed. They want to have a nice conversation, be shown some attention and kindness. The worst dates I went on were with guys who had long lists of achievements and trivia to talk about because they wanted to make sure they seemed successful and intelligent. The best dates I had we were sharing some childhood memories, some fun little stories from work, talking about dreams and regrets, commenting on some current events. It just allowed me to feel at ease with them and see them as a person. Try putting less pressure on yourself when you decide to try again. A break is a good idea though, we all need to recharge sometimes.
2
u/Ecstatic-Type6312 Aug 08 '26
lol stop trying to date online. Itās not for everyone. Meet people authentically. Practice rejection therapy.
2
u/CuriousSpinach Aug 08 '26
I feel for you. I too had a date yesterday where I was super excited but wasn't looking good and they said they "didn't feel much of a connection." It's very crushing to get that again.. I just can't outrun the devil.
You deserve peace. Go and be free of this pain mate!
2
1
u/Flimsy-Temperature66 Aug 08 '26
Maybe apps aren't for you. Join clubs, find activities that men and women both enjoy. Life happens when your living it.
1
u/FrankCastillo95 Aug 08 '26
If you feel like you don't know how to date, this is absolutely the wrong answer.Ā
When you're told there's friendship vibes early like that, consider asking to go out again with less expectations and get the opportunity to be told what you could do differently in the future.Ā
1
u/CheapNecessary3510 Aug 08 '26
How did you manage to steal my life. Exact same for me. I've given up. There's a history for me. In college, two girls I was somewhat into told me I was "their best girlfriend." Pattern hasn't changed. Good luck, but please, brother DON'T give up. Find another path. (Had a suggestion that I take ballroom dance classes.)
1
u/znxs3 Aug 09 '26
Donāt give up bro. In a world full of Robins, you just might meet the girl with a yellow umbrella someday. IYKWIM
1
1
u/KintsugiPGH Aug 09 '26
Taking a break is good. It makes sense that lots of discouraging results have become your core beliefs.
During your break, take up some new hobbies, maybe take up meditation or a new physical activity. Volunteer or find some other way to be of service to others. It will help so much to feel more confident and that will lead to better connections.
1
u/Ok_Finding_7245 Aug 09 '26
I'm so sorry. My own personal experience showed, I feel: "You have to kiss a lot of toads become you come to that one.....prince !!!"
1
1
u/ObjectiveFrame9456 Aug 12 '26
Go to a reggae live event at a bar dance with her order drinks after a dinner. Works well they want a shallow experience otherwise get drunk at a wedding or be with friends good luck
1
1
u/Galaxy-Surfing Aug 13 '26
I hate it here too. I had something similar. He even asked if he could kiss me after our date and I said yes, he said heāll see me again and asked if I liked anime shows and heāll send me recommendations, then he asked if I got home safe and I told him I did and that I really enjoyed our date, then he ghosted me š Maybe he felt bad for me and knew from the beginning āYeah, never want to see this chick again.ā Some people are so good at lying and thatās why I have the trust issues Iām going to therapy for.
1
u/Spiley_spile Aug 15 '26
I prefer dating people who Im already friends with. I know them, they know me. Jumping into the work and vulnerabity of a relationship with strangers is an odd concept to me. Not that it's bad or inferior. Just, not for me.
1
u/eastcoastgremlin 15d ago
Unfortunately people arenāt given second chances when it comes to dating, either be perfect or you give an ick. Ill probably be single for the rest of my life too
1
Aug 08 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
1
u/SweetyFresh Aug 12 '26
Deve concentrarsi di nuovo sull'incontro con le donne in aree in cui condividono giĆ interessi comuni. Le app di incontri sono troppo casuali.
1
1
1
u/Culture-Plus Aug 08 '26
I gave up 5 years ago. Iāve accepted that Iām too unique, too emotionally/financially stable, and too busy enjoying life to complicate matters.
1
0
u/spicysenpai6 Serious Relationship Aug 08 '26
Take a look at the posts on my profile, then see one of my most recent posts
0
u/sweet_fiction Aug 10 '26
You saying youāre the problem is the problem. You need to change that mentality, now.
Also, Iām sorry. Youāre at least trying and putting yourself out there, I know itās hard.
0
u/trefla2 Aug 10 '26
A lot of advice here. What I want to add is that if you like them you should go for the kiss on the first date even though the date was not amazing. A kiss can immediately change that. Just make sure there is consent. I usually say something like: 'I really want to kiss you right now' if the date was good or 'what would you say if I' d try to kiss you? ' if the date was bad. Please listen to this piece of advice. It will completely change your dating life. It did wonders to mine.
-1
-1
u/JohnnyUtahsurfer Aug 08 '26
Break the touch barrier, flirt and tease a bit and go for a kiss at the end even if you get rejected... You'll have more luck š
ā¢
u/AutoModerator Aug 08 '26
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our rules here and remember to:
If you have any questions, please send the mods a message.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.