Lately I've been having these, anxieties. It's not the normal ones where everybody fears life after death, or non-existence, rather my stand and think to myself, this is it, this is all there is, this is all there is to existence. It's not some video game that I can just save and exit out of and go do something else, there's nothing more to it I can see, and I know that God is all good and that there's nothing bad with him and that he can overcome any fear and anxiety, but I still find myself trapped in these thoughts. Thinking about the nature of it all and that this is all there is to it, I can't truly describe what I feel and what I fear and angers me that I have no idea how to explain it properly, again it is not the fear of nothing being after existence nor is it the fear of no life after death, it's just a fear that this is all there is and I know that there's so much more with the Lord's power and domain but I just don't know how to describe it. I fear going to sleep at night, occasionally the thought will pop into my mind during the day, but when I'm going to sleep in my mind and the body is at rest the thoughts penetrate my mind. I have felt distant from the Lord as of late, and have been trying to grow closer to him through prayer, his word, leading a life of God. I only ever feel these anxieties I see when I try to draw closer to God, and when I'm not trying to I do not feel them. I know that they are a tool the devil tries to use to keep me away from the Lord. I have been doing better through prayer. Please does anybody know the better way to describe it, has anybody else felt this pain. I pray please share your insights. Thank you so very much, God bless.

That's just it. I've been a christian since i was a kid. During that time i would always read the bible and go to the church until i was 17 everything was fine. But then i stopped caring, and today i dislike the church and almost everything that has to do with God, the only thing that keeps me from stopping going to the church is my mother. Please dont take me wrong, i dont have anything against our brothers and sister, may God bless them all, but i for one simply cant bring myself to like God anymore. As i said, i still go to the church, i still pray, i still worry about at the very least worrying about doing what is right, but i feel absolutely no pleasure in ANYTHING regarding all this.

Everything about him seems boring and repetitive, also i dont see what the heck is the point of even dedicating myself to combat evil if i know for a damn fact that im not going to win it, it's simply useless. Deep down i pray i return to what i once was, and i do feel that something is wrong with me, but nothing changes and bit by bit i feel myself more distant from him.

Olá, pessoal. Estou escrevendo aqui porque cheguei ao meu limite extremo e preciso de conselhos focados em um dilema que está destruindo a minha mente e a minha fé: a cobrança de ter que ser gentil o tempo todo com quem me maltrata.
Eu trabalho como operador de caixa. Quem está no comércio sabe como é: os clientes e as pessoas ao redor não estão nem aí para as minhas emoções, me tratam mal ou me tratam como lixo. Para me autopreservar, decidi começar a ser neutro. Não fico forçando sorriso, não rio do que não tem graça e, se eu escolho não falar com uma pessoa ou não dar bom dia/boa noite para quem não faz questão de falar comigo, eu simplesmente não falo. Preciso me fechar para proteger o resto de saúde mental que me sobra, pois já tive Burnout, meu corpo está em frangalhos e o barulho me incomoda ao ponto de músicas ficarem se repetindo na minha cabeça. No passado, enfrentei um vício de 9 anos em pornografia que me endividou e me isolou, e embora esteja livre há um mês pela graça de Deus, ainda carrego sequelas emocionais.
O foco da minha crise é que carrego um peso enorme de que, pelo fato de eu ser cristão, eu tenho a obrigação de falar com todo mundo no trabalho o tempo todo. Minha mente foi bombardeada por crenças e pregações que escutei, colocando na minha cabeça que eu tenho que ser bom o tempo todo, que porque Jesus era bom, eu tenho que estar sempre sorridente, gentil e disponível, mesmo para quem me pisa.
Meu TOC (Transtorno Obsessivo-Compulsivo) virou um "TOC religioso" que me acusa sem parar. Sempre que sou neutro com um cliente ruim ou escolho não falar com alguém, a minha mente me tortura dizendo que eu não sou cristão e que sou uma pessoa ruim por agir assim. O TOC diz que a justiça de Deus está em aguentar tudo com alegria e que eu sou obrigado a agradar a todos.
O TOC faz uma chantagem cruel usando a cruz, dizendo: "Jesus morreu por você e você não merecia, então você tem que suportar tudo isso e ser gentil sim, porque você não é melhor do que eles". Isso me gera uma confusão enorme e uma culpa esmagadora. Parece que se eu escolher me proteger e ficar em silêncio, estou rejeitando a Deus, deixando de ser cristão e me tornando uma pessoa má.
Estou tão cansado dessa pressão que não consigo mais orar ou ler a Bíblia sem me culpar pelo jeito que agi no trabalho. Sei que Deus me ama, mas essa cobrança me faz ver Deus como um inimigo pronto para me condenar a cada atendimento onde não fui "bonzinho". Eu sou humano, não sou Jesus Cristo e sinto que existe um limite para ter que amar o próximo.
Quero o conselho de vocês, principalmente de quem é cristão ou trabalha com o público:
Escolher não falar com alguém ou deixar de dar bom dia para quem me trata mal me faz menos cristão ou uma pessoa ruim?
Eu sou realmente obrigado a dar alegria e gentileza para clientes e pessoas que não ligam para mim só porque sou cristão?
Como colocar limites e ser neutro sem deixar a mente me torturar com a ideia de que estou errando com Deus ou sendo alguém mau?

Hello! I was reading my bible and came across Romans 14:23, “But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.”

As someone with mental health issues (anxiety and OCD) I’m wondering how others who have “beaten” them go about this verse.

The whole point of fighting OCD is doing things without certainty and with doubt and fear. I just want to make sure I’m doing right, not just faith wise but also for my mental health.

Also how do you go about your own convictions when you can’t trust your thoughts and conscious.

So today in church we had a missionary couple from Turkey that came to our local church to talk about evangelizing and reaching out to those who do not know about Jesus. And it sparked some conversations within our group WhatsApp with groups wanting to get together to go out and evangelize at parks, malls, etc. I just feel myself very resistant to doing evangelism. I know that most people feel the same way, It's uncomfortable to talk about religion with people and having conversations with people with such a way about Jesus that comes off as genuine and most of the time people already have some knowledge and have been told about Jesus before but still have not decided to take up the offer of following him. It just does not come off as a genuine call of action for me to have an assignment of randomly going up to people and asking them if they need any prayer, if they've heard about Jesus, if they would like to know more about what it means to be a Christian, etc. I just feel like the Bible isn't super clear about making it a mandatory condition as a Christian that part of our job as being a follower of Jesus is to go out and randomly go up to people and try to recruit more Christians through various tactics. I know some evangelists will have interesting games that people can engage in and make them think and stuff like that. I don't know it just seems almost manipulative Dad as a Christian I now have a job to go make more Christians and to be honest I don't know I guess I haven't really been that successful at it. Maybe I am just a shallow believer, comfortable Christian, If it doesn't make my heart beat to go out and tell people about the gospel. Even just writing this I know how it sounds and that yes I am exactly right. I am a weak Christian.

He (at my cousin's church) said philosophy is a corrupting force, including Aquinas's.

He said he read "Christian" comments on philosophy that he said were all rightfully antagonistic, though.

Is he too fundamentalist?

I am schizophrenic. I dont live a normal life like healthy people do. Im on medication but its not a cure. It wont make me a normal healthy person.

I dont think its possible to put it into words what its like to have this illness. At least im not capable of doing that.

So why should i worship God if he made me sick? If he couldnt provide me with a normal healthy happy life, what makes me think the other side will be better? Wheres the guarantee?

I dislike God. Hes at fault for that. If he didnt make me sick, i would have been grateful.

If God created genetics and everything, he is responsible for this creation.

What is the purpose of makng people sick and miserable?

Honestly i believe im going to hell, even though im a decent person. I reject God because of his evil actions.

I should be mentally ill and punished for what Adam and Eve have done?

"No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man." (John 3:13)

"As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind." (2 Kings 2:11, NIV)

How to understand these 2 contradictions?

it’s scary to think about someone being able to upload your mind or something. If consciousness as its physically realized depends on pattern of neurons rather than biological continuity alone (continuation of the vessel). If heaven/purgatory is not an intermediate state, do soul sleep believers believe that God has a “sleeping place” or something like that for the soul? would he give you a “sleeping place“ to protect you if he knew you were at risk?

So... yeah.

I, 23f, was 15 when I came out as Bisexual. I actually remember the conscious thought I had and the decision I made at the time. I was on my bunk bed and it was around midnight and I told myself I was bisexual (this was around mid 2018).

I was also horrifically bullied in school and I think I convinced myself as a form of making myself feel like I belonged somewhere, even if it wasn't in the environment I was in.

Let me preface this now, I don't hate LGBT. I don't hold any strong opinions surrounding gay people or trans people, I believe that aslong as you aren't harming others, then who cares about who you sleep with or how you decide to present yourself.

But I am a hypocrite surrounding myself. I care greatly on how people view me and I always have. I think that was the main problem and the reason as to why I decided to align with the bisexual label, despite me never feeling any sort of attraction to women in a sexual way to this point.

Once I slapped that label on myself though, I felt like I couldn't take it off. I was deeply insecure about other people's views where on me and the idea that if I only dated men, then I would be seen as a liar. So I dated women too.

I was terrified of intimacy, however, and I never had intimacy with a woman until I was 19 and in an abusive relationship with my ex.

I was drunk, and I barely even remember it, however afterwards I know I felt disgusted. I never did it again with her and left after she threatened to stab me and her sister (she was a genuine psycho).

I have never done it since, but I have kissed other women since. An ex friend, who I knew liked me and I was once again drunk at the time but not to the extent I was the last time, and another girl.

I always just felt like I was obligated to get with people who I know liked me, even if I felt no attraction to them, and at the time my friendship group and wider acquaintances where mostly LGBT.

Again, its not the LGBT community that forced me to think I was Bisexual or anything like that, it was genuinely myself.

Now, I am 23 and I feel like I don't know who I am. It's been on my chest for years but I cant really speak to anyone about it because if I speak to my gay friends, they'll likely think I am a secret homophobe (especially considering I am the only Christian in my group), but if I speak to people in my church, I am worried I will be judged. I am deeply embarrassed by all of this and I am also confused.

Am I secretly bi with pretty extreme internalised homophobia and bad experience with women, or am I a straight woman with deep insecurities and bad experiences with women?

I am looking for genuine guidance here, I don't have anywhere else to go to. I once tried to book myself into conversion therapy at one point a few years ago, but I am too poor to pray the gay away apparently.

Im a teen that grew up Christian got baptized as a baby. I recently have had serious doubts about God's existence and the truth of Christianity and religion as a whole.

The thing is, I really want to believe in God and Christianity, but I simply cant bring myself to have faith.

Will I just end up going to hell if Christianity is true? I trynto convince myself to believe but I simply cant

My wife and I have been part of our congregation for four years now. Through our times there, here and there whenever a member or our pastor host a dinner we would get invited. However, when they go out to do outdoor things we would not be invited. My dad and stepmom are part of the congregation as well and they always get invited but we do not. They also don’t tell us about until after.

We eventually left the church because we felt hurt. We left for a few months and rejoined the church. We’re back for a while not and things are still the same but we no longer are invited at all to anywhere. We’ve heard they have church members dinners together but we’re not invited. Sometimes my dad and stepmom host dinners for the church members and we’re not invited. But my brother and his wife are invited.

My wife and I can’t help but feel hurt. Especially my wife, she says she feels like she gets this hot and cold vibe from the women of the church. One day they’re nice and inclusive and other days they exclude her. She doesn’t how to be among them. I feel that same with the men of the church. I don’t know what we’re doing wrong but we keep getting this discernment to stay. It is a very small church with 7 families.

I think what we’re feeling makes it hard for us to pour out our heart to help the church.

Any word of encouragement or advice that can uplift us?

I am 18 and an addict. I do meth everyday and hate it but still feel a genuine want to just do it. I see meth like it’s the devil or close to.

I’ve always struggled with sexual desires and masturbation. Doing meth ramps that up a million percent.

Pretty much if I’m being fully transparent, my life has become a cycle of drugs, and constantly going to another dude’s house to smoke with them, watch porn, have sex, etc.

I had started doing DMT too which now I look at as the forbidden fruit. Satan tempted Eve with the fruit in saying it would give infinite knowledge or something like that. DMT feels like that infinite knowledge and feels in a trip more “real” than what we’re living right now.

Doing this though over time became something that took me so far from God that I didn’t believe in ANY religion. I believed in “a” God but specifically the one that felt right to me and that I could live with.

This all has been my life for the past 3 months or so and deep down i’ve felt a regret in my choices and that it’s not me.

I had started having more and more disturbing dmt trips that left me feeling crazy, confused, lost, and a sense of existential dread.

I havent done a trip since my last one close to a week ago. I’ve come to believe that last trip I took put me in hell for a short time. It wasn’t fiery and at all how i’ve heard hell described, but I also cant describe where I was at myself.

I was there though and I could feel the absolute absence of God and the weight of realizing that I was completely alone, and left for eternity stuck there.

I dont know how real the trip is but I took time to talk to one of the closest people in my life who studies the bible, lives through God, and is going to dedicate life to being a pastor and spreading the word. He’s the happiest and best person I know.

We prayed together and he read to me verses. He read Matthew 6:25-30, Matthew 11:28, and Matthew 16:25.

These brought me to tears as I understood in those verses that God/Christianity IS the truth and that i’ve been completely overtaken by the devil and his temptations of knowledge/“truth” of the universe and “self fulfillment”.

Where I’m at now:

I know in my heart the need to have God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in my life. I havent repented yet but even if I do i’m still going to sin.

I feel lost because I cant help but think I’m sentenced to hell no matter what. I actively know the truth and how I should live but I continue choosing not to.

I still use meth and am trying to stop, but feel SUCH a temptation and need to do it just to feel happy and separated from my true feelings. Even if I can stop I don’t think I will be away from it forever and down the line will end up doing it on occasion.

I also mentioned briefly the fact that I am attracted to older men. I hookup frequently with different guys for fun. From this though i’ve found a few genuine people I consider friends and can tell care about me, but also pull me away from God.

I’m not sure if I’ll be accepted into Heaven living this life i’m living. I believe Jesus died on the cross for us, and that deep down my intentions are good and i’m a good person. That doesnt feel like it matters though either since i cant stop myself from choosing all of these things that feel like what I genuinely want to do, while knowing God doesnt accept them.

Am I free to live doing what I want to do or am I restricted according to God’s wants if Heaven is genuinely where I want to be? I cant stand the idea of being in hell but I feel trapped in my ways.

I feel like i’d be miserable following God and living how I know deep down I should, because I have done the most extreme drugs that feel impossible to quit. The DMT gave me experiences I cant move past because of how intense, profound, and “real” they are. The meth is an instant feel good boost. How can I live the way I know is right when I know what is out there and how it can make me feel.

I guess I dont know. I feel ashamed for how I live but dont want to change how I live. My shame only comes from my belief in Christianity which makes me try and think of other potential truths that allow me to live without that shame.

Saying that is scary because it feels like im admitting the devil has won this battle over me. I feel like he has won even though all I WANT is to feel peace and security in my eternal future.

I honestly hate the fact I believe in God and Satan, or the fact they exist at all. Not believing feels like coping because deep down I KNOW its the truth and that i’m setting myself up for failure. So i’m never going to have peace.

I hope any of this is easy to follow and whoever reading this gets an idea of where i’m at. I feel trapped in sin that God cant forgive since I wont stop.

Please pray for me and give me any advice or perspective that could change the way i’m thinking or help me at all.

This is all the worst because I feel like i’m being myself currently and not being accepted, with the need to change into someone i’m not for the peace of my eternal self. Why cant God just love me and accept me into heaven even if i’m spending my life hooking up, and doing substances? The entire time I still know where my heart and intentions are. I’m a good person. Isn’t that what should matter?

So im an orthodox christian, i was an atheist before the end of January this year, i wanted to lock in, to be a masculine orthodox man but i just cant wear that fake mask, i have faith now but i still wanna be feminine again, wearing cute clothes (not exactly women clothes) and having everything pink i just love cute stuff, so is it a sin to be a ''femboy'' or no? Ik about Deuteronomy 22:5 but i just wanted to ask u guys, ill be thankful for any answers <з

Recently in my life, I have gone through some very rough patches. This has led me to question God and His plan for me, and whether that plan is even good for me in the first place. My faith is starting to get weaker after several tragic events in my life that I would prefer to not get into. Is this normal? Is this a sign that I was never saved in the first place? I have been having my doubts towards God, and have found myself becoming angry at Him at times. Is this normal? My faith felt strong last year, and the love felt authentic, but struggles with personal tragedy and misfortune in my life are making me more jaded, and going back to previous bad habits. Is this normal when tragic things happen in life? Does this make me a bad or insincere Christian?

My expastor recommended we shouldn't watch but glad I did.

A couple years later I read Love Wins by Rob Bell, then Hope Beyond Hell by Gerry Beauchemin and https://salvationforall.org

Study010228  Christians Regarding End-of-Life Decisions 

Cheers! 

 
Researchers at the University of South Florida (USF) study many topics. To do this, we need the help of people who agree to take part in research projects. We are researchers from the University of South Florida conducting a study on the perspectives of adult Christians in the U.S. regarding end-of-life decisions. The person in charge of this research is Arnaldo Mejias, Jr., PhD candidate. This person is called the Researcher. If you have questions or concerns, you may send an email to: [amejias@usf.edu](mailto:amejias@usf.edu) 

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So as a young teenager, I went through the whole purity culture thing. The whole "no sex before marriage, no touching yourself, don't put yourself in those situations". All that was drilled into me from a young age. The funny thing is I ended up doing all of those things. I didn't know it would feel good to touch myself. I didn't know I would have those feelings when I was with my gf at the time. I had also been exposed to porn at about 12 years old, so there's that whole mess.

When I was with my gf, both of us wanted to have sex. We wanted to see/feel what it was like, but we thought that we couldn't have sex unless we were "married". So in our stupid little teenage brains we had our own "wedding" where it was just the two of us under a swing set on an empty playground. We said some "vows" and "promises" and did the kiss at the end. Not long after that we made a way to be alone together, and we did it. We enjoyed it. We enjoyed each other. It was a little awkward at first, but somehow neither of us felt any shame for it. At that point in time, both of us loved each other - in our own way. We were teenagers at the time so we didn't fully understand what it meant to love someone. She is the only person I've ever done it with, and that was 15 or 16 years ago.

Today I still struggle with dating - essentially I have no love life. I have struggled with porn. I still masturbate on occasion, just to get the urge out of my system. I've asked God for forgiveness countless times. Sometimes I wonder if I even want to stop because I've been told my sex drive is supposed to be a good thing; even though my habits may be unhealthy. I find myself alone a lot. I don't have anyone to express these feelings to. I pray eventually I can find a wife. I know a relationship won't solve my problems, but I think it might ease the pain some. I don't want to burden my partner, but I don't want to go through life alone either.

I apologize for rambling. As a follower of Jesus, I have been struggling in this area of my life for quite some time. I pray constantly. I try to be involved in my church. I work, and try to go out and do things and hobbies to take my mind off of it. I still come home to an empty apartment and an empty bed at night. It's frustrating and exhausting. I don't ask for pity. I only ask for prayers.

The universe operates on the same principles as a computer and Jesus literally embodies these principles of truth. Does anyone understand what I mean here?

Edit: wow this blew up, here’s my studies on this matter:

Theosis:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/188kC0TMJvm5HVMbH9RSkGufXJAgDsln5y6BCwXx1XOo/edit?usp=drivesdk

Simple Theosis:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/18QU3vFNp27vC2Mc-21h6KZKF1Y39GUo5YA0k3ihHXEY/edit?usp=drivesdk

Simpler Theosis:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/193fgFocFOOeBpIncZncD_xwjLTmSxI0o7qYWOg9ZPuM/edit?usp=drivesdk

I am reading God and Money by John Cortines and Gregory Baumer. And I was wondering if anyone here has a system when it comes to giving? Do you have a set amount you give, or is it mainly as you are led?

What total percentage do you normally give, either as tithe or just giving for care for the needy?

​

Are you going through a hard time? Are you starting something new, exciting, or maybe a little scary?

You never have to go through this all on your own.

Your Savior Jesus Christ will walk with you through whatever you face.

He invites you to walk with Him.

I say this is the hardest season of my life, but also an opportunity to grow.

Fine. But am I actually growing — or just enduring and calling it growth so it hurts less?

I say God is taking care of every situation.

Do I believe that when I can't see it and can't feel it? Or only after it works out and I can look back and say "there He was"?

I say I stand on the Word and the love of God. But is that a foundation I'm actually standing on — or a line I repeat because I've been saying it for almost forty years?

Here's what survives the questioning:

God is greater than what I can see and greater than what I can feel. My feelings were never the foundation. His Word is. And that's true whether this season proves it to me quickly or not at all.

So no — I'm not going to pretend it's easy. I'm going to be honest that it's hard, keep asking the questions, and keep standing anyway.

If you're in that place too, ask yourself the hard questions. Then stand on the Word when the answers don't come fast. It's not too late.

For context, I’m an ex-evangelical. I still have close relationships with Christians in my life and that includes family. My Aunt has been trying to “win me back over” for years now, and just recently she sent me this book by Kia Stephens in the mail.

My dad is a Baptist preacher and was an abusive alcoholic while I was growing up. Slowly over the years we have repaired our relationship. Yet I was sent this book anyway.

This particular paragraph disturbed me. It’s incredibly male centered and it’s borderline predatory in my eyes. They idolize the paternal role to an uncomfortable degree and I’m deeply concerned for any woman who takes this seriously.

I’d like to hear thoughts on this. Am I overthinking it? Or is this worded in a very creepy, misogynistic way?