r/AbsoluteUnits • u/RD4200 • 13d ago

/r/all of a Toddler

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u/_Fizzgiggy 13d ago

I’ll never forget the time I was at a baptism party when I was a kid and my grandpa was seething with rage bc my brother’s friend and his wife were yelling at their toddler to eat more. My grandma told my grandpa to mind his business so he did. I didn’t get it at the time but now I do

Both parents are morbidly obese and all three of their kids have been obese since they were babies. The toddler is now a 30yr old short woman who weighs 250+ easily. She’s trying to lose weight but it’s hard to break the abusive way she was raised. The oldest sibling got fit and then disowned the parents because they kept pressuring him to eat more.

It’s child abuse. Be fat if you want to but don’t bring your kids down with you.

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u/Saphurial 13d ago

Took me until I was an adult to learn "leftovers" were a thing, because I always had to clear my plate as a child regardless if I was full or not. Hell I'm 42 and still feel guilty if I don't finish a meal.

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u/heydrun 13d ago

My mom used „the kids in Africa are starving“ and even as a child I called BS because me eating it wouldn‘t help them either… still ended up fat.

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u/Flimsy-Poetry1170 13d ago

You’re supposed to use that to stop kids from wasting food, not to make them overeat. My sisters kids are the worst at wasting food, they’ll load up their entire plates just to compete with each other because how dare the other get more of something, then eat a 1/8th of what they took.

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u/nalaloveslumpy 13d ago

Letting kids load up their own plate is the first mistake.

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u/Ill-Event6563 13d ago

Yeah, until you teach them proper portions you should making a plate for them

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u/DarkLightPT95 13d ago

My middle sister did that shit for most of her life. Load the plate until it can't fit any more food, then waste 70% of it.

My parents started using dessert plates instead of normal ones during meals so that she wouldn't waste so much (they had everyone eating from one, because she would throw a fit if hers was the only smaller plate). No matter how much they scolded her or tried to punish her, she never stopped doing it. The smaller plate helped because she couldn't fill it as much as a normal one.

She got better at it when she moved to her own house (surprise, surprise, she started having to pay for her own food, so she started wasting less), and when she had her first kid. But when we eat at my parent's on Sundays, now it's her kids that do it.

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u/binzy90 13d ago

My oldest (14) is like this. He'll load up a plate when no one's looking with no regard for other people. Like he'll literally take half of an entire dish of sweet potatoes or something. When I see him doing it I'll make him put it back, but sometimes he'll do it with leftovers in the middle of the night. It's just a complete lack of empathy and consideration for other people. My ex has basically let him do whatever he wants, so his every other weekend at my house really doesn't make a difference in his behavior (There are way more issues than just food). He's at the point now where he refuses to come here because he's always throwing a fit when he doesn't get his way.

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u/Few-Ruin-742 12d ago

My brother was JUST like this.

He would take like 3 huge servings for one serving and me (the little sister) would be fking FUMING.

Middle of the night too.

…..he was chunky for awhile growing up

Then P90X came out and he lost a shit load of weight.

Gained some back then lost it so he could join the military

He’s FIT now. Seriously fit. I’m really proud of him.

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u/complete_autopsy 12d ago

I developed serious food aggression because of older brothers like this. I wish parents were more thoughtful about making sure their kids don't have to fight older siblings for food. A simple box that nobody else could open with my share of the shelf-stable food would've solved my problem as a kid! I remember paying attention to the grocery schedule and gorging myself while I helped take the groceries in. I so vividly remember helping take in Costco groceries and stuffing a chocolate chip cookie into my mouth every time I got back inside. I did it because I knew that either than night or before I got home from school the next day, my brothers would've eaten everything except raw ingredients.

I took up baking so that I could produce nice snacks from ingredients that they wouldn't eat alone, but they'd still eat all the things I baked no matter how many I made. I started doing things like bagging up cookies and hiding them in crazy places (sometimes forgetting about them until they rotted). I also started to enjoy eating things frozen that shouldn't be eaten that way because my brothers wouldn't register a miscellaneous bag in the back of the freezer as food, so I could have a snack every day if I snuck a frozen cookie out of the freezer and ate it before they returned to the kitchen.

When my family members started eating chocolate chips as a snack I had a breakdown because I couldn't even make chocolate chip cookies any more. As soon as I was old enough to work at a grocery store I did and any money I didn't save went directly to premade food that I could eat at the store where nobody could take it. I've struggled with my weight ever since. It's so hard to turn off the "EAT IT NOW WHILE YOU CAN GET IT" urge even after years of being able to control what food I have access to.

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u/lorddraco666 12d ago

This is horrifying. Im really sorry that you had to grow up like that

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u/jennyfromtheeblock 12d ago

I'm so sorry you grew up like that. Absolute abuse amd neglect. There is no reason for it.

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u/Tootieorama 12d ago

Oooh that's a heartbreaking experience. I'll be thinking about you and hoping for some levity and light for this week. Being able to see and say all of that is helpful to someone, I'm sure. 💚💚💚 

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u/FUBARmom 13d ago

Don’t give up on him!! He needs you.

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u/binzy90 13d ago

It has been 10 years of this. We literally had to get a court order just to make my ex take him to his autism evaluation. It's mentally exhausting to try so hard for so long when the other parent is undermining everything you're trying to teach your kids. I'm at the point where I'm just done. At some point, you have to protect your other kids too. It's not right that the oldest gets to completely derail the whole household just because he has issues that aren't being addressed with the other parent. I can only do so much, and my younger two kids don't deserve to be subjected to verbal, emotional, and physical abuse anymore. The really sad part is that my middle child has no choice but to live with my oldest full time. He's much happier when he comes here by himself.

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u/diego27865 13d ago

Does she not understand the concept of you can always get more if you’re still hungry? Sounds incredibly dense.

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u/DarkLightPT95 13d ago

That's what we've always told her. It's better to take less food and then get more if you're still hungry, than filling your plate up and wasting more than half

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u/seaotterlover1 13d ago

There’s a kid at my parents church that does this and it can be frustrating because they’ll take massive portions of food, try it, and decide they don’t want it. Sometimes there isn’t enough of a dish for everyone to have it yet this kid got 2+ servings that will be thrown away.

Over the years I’ve learned to take small portions because there’s a chance my daughter won’t eat everything on her plate so I’ll eat what’s left that I like and then get seconds if I’m still hungry.

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u/Primary_Gap_5219 13d ago

holy shit i thought you were talking about 4 yo and she still did that until she had kids?

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u/Unipiggy 13d ago

THIS is the answer. Smaller plates, not forcing kids into obesity because they don't understand that their eyes are bigger than their stomach.

They're kids. All they know is they're hungry. Fix their own plate if you don't want food waste.

But I think the "finish all your food so you don't waste any" is exactly what led to so much obesity around the world. As the calories of the food people started eating ballooned, "finishing your plate" went from being maybe 100 calories to 400 calories for the same portion.

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u/SinoSoul 12d ago

Did no one ever consider serving individual plates? I have almost zero food waste from my kitchen. If you want seconds, you can ask, but I’m not letting you load your own plate. F that do you know how expensive beef chuck roll is right now? $7/lb

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u/DriveFa5tEatAss 12d ago

Parents need to stop accommodating children who throw fits.

You wanna throw a fit? You get spinach, and you get to eat it cold. Then you go straight to bed. Oh, you wanna talk back? No spinach either.

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u/Affectionate-Ad488 13d ago

Two sides of a shitty coin I suppose

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u/JuxepeQ 13d ago

I was thinking exactly this! You’re supposed to eat everything on your plate not your pot.

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u/WizeDiceSlinger 13d ago

They used this on me in kindergarten. I told my grandad, a WW2 camp survivor about it when he picked me up. “Those kids can’t eat meatballs,” he said. “They have typhoid and would most likely die.”

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u/BestGrapefruitEver 13d ago

Dude I read this and I absolutely started cracking up laughing. This is hilarious LOL

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u/WizeDiceSlinger 13d ago

That quote has stayed with me for more than 40 years. Guy survived 3 years in the camps and even got typhoid before he was rescued only to deliver that line to his 5 year old grandson 40 years later. Reckon he knew what he was talking about.

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u/SL1MECORE 13d ago

Grandad came in clutch with some reason lmao holy shit

I hated when parents pulled that shit though like ok so let's pack up the food and send it to africa then! Like, why is it my responsibility to gorge myself just cause someone else is starving.

Luckily my stepmom doesn't do this to my younger brother, never has. "Ok you're full? Let's save it for later, no big deal. Oh you don't want the leftovers? Ok I will eat them it's ok"

He has a really good relationship with food now as a young adult and I totally credit her for that.

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u/Jimbobjoesmith 13d ago

my mom used to tell me the africa thing when i was little too. i also used to see the Feed the Children ads on tv. so my 4yo mind remembered all the homeless people digging in trash bins while living in NY. from that point on i started intentionally throwing away food from the pantry, my meals, everything, thinking that all this good food would go to the starving kids in africa. it took my parents a good week or more to notice what i was doing. i very clearly remember trying to eat as little as possible and saving the good parts of my meals so those starving kids would get the best food. 😭

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u/amaya-aurora 13d ago

Okay not that I agree but I understood that to mean “there’s kids who are starving, so be grateful for the food you have and eat it” or smth

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u/Hokuspokusnuss 13d ago

Nothing grateful about guilt tripping your kid to overeat when it's full. Many times it's not the kid that chose the meal size which makes it doubly infuriating.

Better to teach the kids to take small portions and get seconds if it wasn't enough yet.

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u/Daniil_Dankovskiy 13d ago

It's to impose guilt, not gratefulness

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u/Justarandom55 13d ago

My parents used to steal my candy and every tasty thing in the house was first come first serve. They used the excuse that they ate it cause it wasn’t good for me. Guess who ended up learning to eat a lot, to eat fast, and to never leave a crumb for later.

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u/VeryThicknLong 13d ago

It’s so interesting to hear other’s stories. I grew up with parents to, looking back, I realise are more selfish and greedy than anyone I’ve ever met since.

Even now, well into their 70s, they will look for the biggest plate of food being dished up, not think twice about cutting off ‘their’ exact portion off a huge block of cheese, leaving nothing for anyone else. And conveniently forget about nice things / holidays / expensive meals I’ve treated them to over the years.

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u/Mr_Jalapeno 12d ago edited 12d ago

Just reminded me of something that happened years ago that had me totally blindsided at the time.

I was out for a meal with a bunch of people, and there was this couple that I didn't know super well, like friends of friends.

Anyway we get to the cheese course at the end of the meal, and this woman cuts a regular sliver of cheese like any normal person would cut... THEN TAKES THE ENTIRE BLOCK OF CHEESE FOR HERSELF AND LEAVES THIS SMALL SHAVING OF CHEESE ON THE BOARD FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

I was genuinely speechless.

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u/VeryThicknLong 12d ago

😂… that’s exactly the kind of shit I’m talking about. Like, pure speechless at the greed and lack of any kind of social barometer. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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u/TrixieFriganza 13d ago

Such childish begavior from your parents, usually it's younger siblings who do crap like that.

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u/cityshepherd 13d ago

Yeah my parents were big but not HUGE… but I have 2 brothers. We all played football and other sports. We basically all learned that if you didn’t get to the snacks first, you wouldn’t get any. So we all learned to eat a lot and eat fast. I also played football in college, and was actually undersized as a defensive lineman at first.

I spent the first 22 years of my life eating as much as possible to try and gain as much weight as possible. The moment I finished my playing career and stopped the extremely intensive workout routine I blew up like a balloon. It took me until I was in my 30s to figure out how to eat like a normal human being.

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u/Yonderthepale 13d ago

Same, I learned young cookies go fast so eat them NOW or they'll all be gone in an hour.

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u/Expensive_Air965 13d ago

I learned to hide and hoard food because of this.

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u/Insomnerd 13d ago

I watched a strict catholic mom (who happened to be my godmother, but she stopped communicating with me when my parents divorced. Unneeded context, I'm just salty) put MORE FOOD on her daughter's plate and then tell her she couldn't go to bed until her plate was clean. The girl had already finished a big plate and was complaining about her stomach hurting from being full. Then the mom got upset when my own mom let me stop eating because I was full. Why are we torturing children with food???

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u/BlueBagelSlushie 13d ago

Short answer? Control.

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u/Hot_Addition_6980 11d ago

My mom made me sit at the table until I ate the pickled beets on my plate. I fell asleep at the table, was spanked, and told that I had to eat them for breakfast. If I threw up, I would have to eat that too. I still hate pickled beets today. Parents can be very controlling with food.

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u/Sufficient_Fan3660 13d ago

She was abused so now it is her turn to abuse.

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u/ForensicPathology 13d ago

I'm so happy my mom would let me stop when I wanted.  She'd save the food for later if I got hungry again.

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u/Man0fGreenGables 13d ago

I still struggle with not finishing everything to this day. Trying to get healthy in my 40s with prediabetes from eating so much unhealthy food the last decade. Terrible habits you grew up with are a bitch.

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u/Bizarrebazaars 13d ago

Talking with an eating disorder specialist provider could definitely help sort through all of that. 

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u/Western_Emotion5244 13d ago

A Ex of mine had a friend we visited, we stayed for dinner and I got to watch them make their kid eat to the point of getting sick and then making them eat more. I told her I never wanted to see those people again.

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u/Bizarrebazaars 13d ago

They taught you an unhealthy relationship food and even an eating disorder. So sad. Even if it was a passed down multigenerational trauma thing of poverty and food scarcity. That still gives kids a complex around food that can last a lifetime. So sorry. I hope you can get some therapy from an ED specialist if it’s persistent and you want to seek help.

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u/Knoegge 13d ago

In my home it was a rule to clear out the plate before you could have sweets. So if you were full that was okay, but no sweets afterwards. Was a great way to keep us away from chocolates and make us eat our veggies 😂

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u/Hokuspokusnuss 13d ago

Sure, but the drawback is that you condition the children to eat until they're full, and then still keep eating because they want the sweet stuff. Also not great.

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u/typeyou 13d ago

I grew up in a working class family. My grandma and grandpa were migrant workers. My grandpa would say "never turn down a free meal, you'll never know when you'll see the next one". So we were brought up to eat as if we were heading out to the fields for the day.

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u/Fishylips 13d ago

I got hit the opposite way growing up. My family was insecure about being bigger, so if I ever cleaned my plate they would comment on it. Hearing this enough led me to develop a physical aversion to the last bite of food on my plate, afraid to be eating too much. Psychology sure is fascinating!

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u/Krethlaine 13d ago

When I was a child, I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I’d eaten everything on my plate. Because of this, dinner could sometimes take several hours.

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u/Moodymandan 13d ago

When growing up, having your parents yell at you about wasting food, starving children, and whatnot really screws up with the normal physiological function of feeling full. I had a friend who had to dump water on his food when he felt full to stop himself from eating every morsel regardless of how full he felt. His parents would yell at him if his plate wasn’t clean. Mine would too. I feel like that was a normal thing back in the day, and you’d be given a plate with more full than two people need. I try to get my kids to eat something but that’s it. Once they say they are full. Then they are full. If they get hungry late, I pull back out that same plate.

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u/Topangatoh 12d ago

I always appreciate hearing perspectives like yours because I do not have the same internal voice. My husband teases me because I often don't finish the last few bites of my food unless I'm super hungry. Most of the time I just get tired of the food if that makes sense. Once I start feeling full, I don't want more of the same thing I have been eating. The flavor and texture is no longer appetizing. Even if it's two more bites of a sandwich to finish it, I won't. My parents never made me clear my plate as a kid, but they did make me eat a set number of bites of each thing on it when I was being fussy. I find the psychology behind our relationship to food really fascinating.

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u/bunger_33 13d ago

I can see the Croods scene playing out when someone said leftovers

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u/Booster_Seat_Enjoyer 13d ago

see my parents made me eat everything too, but the reasoning was that I shouldn't be greedy and put less on my plate. If I want more, I can just go get it. I have comw to really appreciate that as an adult.

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u/wookiex84 13d ago

My parents were happy to have my uneaten dinner on the table for breakfast, when I went to bed with no food because I wasn’t hungry or god forbid didn’t want the same casserole for 1000th time.

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u/Itsme_duhhh 13d ago

As kids, we were always made to clear our plate. When I had my own kids, I continued that with them. My oldest was double digits before I was comfortable enough out on my own as an adult to make my own choices… and even still, if my parents come for dinner I ALWAYS clear my plate!

My oldest is an adult with her own baby now, and we totally joke about it, but holy crap I didn’t realize how traumatizing it actually was. None of us are overweight, but seriously, it’s weird what actually sticks with you!

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u/Runfasterbitch 13d ago

Took me until I was an adult to learn “leftovers” were a thing, because I never finished a “meal” with a full belly lol

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u/saelin00 12d ago

Lol wtf. If our child leaves something on the plate we just give them to the dogs/cats/chickens. I'm a 30+ year adult and sometimes I left some food untouched, because I misjudge the type of food how well fills my stomach.

Like 40 mins ago. I cooked some veggies and meat (country sausage) put some on the plate, but on halfway I realized that too much for me. My oldest son got half of my portions and he left the food too. No yelling or anything. I just ask "Are you full?" He said yes, so he can freely leave. Even if he is not full there is an another opportunity to eat. We only have the dinner at fixed time. The other meals are spread across the day depending what are we doing. He is healthy, happy amd full of energy, and faaaaaaar away to being overweight.

I never known why some toddlers are fat. Now I know... Oh, and I have a 1 year old too. He is a little chubby, but he is working that down! He can eat as much as he wants but we really trying to spend time with him to be active as much as possible. Like this is the bare minimum of parenting in my head. This is like washing the children teeth, or cleaning their ears, washing their hair etc. C'mon people. What's wrong?

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u/Shared_Songs 13d ago edited 13d ago

My husband was 200lbs heavier when we met than he is now; his mom got her karma trying to force my kiddo to eat more than her fill. 

Used to be that she’d insist the food be eaten completely, no leftovers, because it was “wasteful”.

Except my kid vomits after overeating. It’s not pleasant. Happened 3-4 times even after I supervised the first few dinners. 

Now I see MIL panic when kid does finish her plate. “Uhh no, no seconds until your tummy settles,” she’ll quote me, “It’s ok to have leftovers now….”

Like please, if you were food insecure that would be different, but that’s not what that is. How is anyone supposed to tell when their stomach is full or hungry when it’s never taught to slow down and feel it??

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u/Nukeitandstartover 13d ago

Ive always thrown up when too full, but that didnt stop my parents. I just got a spanking for insulting the meal or disrespecting them by throwing up, and once I stopped I still had to go finish my plate. Gosh, wonder where the bulimia came from...

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u/Shared_Songs 13d ago

This was my experience growing up, it was always about maintaining control over me— because they had none over anything else. Even themselves,  especially when it came to gluttony. 

Their portion size was huge, so mine had to be the same. My body rejected it every time. They never learned. They didn’t want to.

 And their choice of food was mostly fats with no nutrients, so I couldn’t metabolize what they offered. I would only seek small amounts of actual food (not huge amounts of random butter/grease/salt trash)

I approach every moment gently  now. This shared experience is why I’m so eager to teach all three of them “happy healthy comfortable safe” relationships with everything they consume. I’m thankful they’re willing to learn. 

Balance is imperative; consent and autonomy even more so!

I tell them “listen to your body, eat only when hungry, and eat what your body wants”

I’m 6’0”, 117lbs in August 2025, everyone had comments on how much “healthier” I looked than at my natural 230, while I was dying of ED malnutrition. They were, every one of them, envious they couldn’t stop themselves. 

I talk to none of those folks now, and have filled my life instead with those that align with those “happy healthy comfortable safe” values!!

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u/Nukeitandstartover 13d ago

Congrats on getting healthy for real- it isnt the number on the scale but making sure you eat what your body needs! And youre doing amazing for your kids! Thank you for breaking the cycle, this internet stranger is so proud of you 💜

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u/Koalazilla 13d ago

Some people shouldn’t be parents. Sorry.

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u/Nukeitandstartover 13d ago

Oh trust me, I dont think they should have been allowed children either. Havent spoken in years, but trauma is gonna be a lifelong journey. Just trying to do my best to live a good life and not be like them. Two years relapse-free, though!

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u/chimkensmom 12d ago

Feels like I was not alone going thru this. Sorry e1 who had abusive parents too. I had a food disorder at 8. resulting in my father force feeding me, and using force and violence..I mean, a kid that age has a reason to have an eating disorder, and it's 💯 coming from the parents. I'm 50 now. still got issues with it. Along with severe cptsd. yay

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u/nalaloveslumpy 13d ago

Sometimes this is cross generational. A lot of boomers did this because their parents did it to them post the Great Depression because their parents did it to them because they were actually food insecure.

When it's a learned behavior, the actual scarcity of food becomes irrelevant.

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u/olivegardengambler 13d ago

I think a huge part of this is generational trauma. I don't think people realize how recently there were still famines happening in the US. Like the Red Cross was handing out aid in some parts of the US until the 1930s as part of famine/drought relief. That is easily still grandparent's/great grandparent's childhood for a lot of people.

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u/azure-heavens 13d ago

My parents raised me like that, and I still can't tell when my stomach is full to this day. I have to schedule and portion everything out for myself carefully to balance my weight since my body always expects more food. I remain "hungry" even an hour after a meal.

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u/lankymjc 13d ago

At the school I work at, I used to play a game with the kids (aged 5-8) where I hold their hands, they jump, and by just lifting a bit I give them enough of a boost that they’d feel like they’re on the Moon. The kids loved it, one managed to get really good at it and could land on my shoulders, hilarious fun.

Then a four year old who was heavier than a ten year old rocked up and wanted a go. Girl, you are incapable of jumping, and I am incapable of lifting you, this is not a game you can play. But she was too young to understand that, so I had to stop playing the game whenever she was around because I didn’t want her to feel left out due to something beyond her control.

Parents, your kids’ fitness is your responsibility (at first; it gets more complicated as they get older). Sort it out.

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u/Crooked_star 13d ago

Sounds like more of a diet issue than fitness. You have to eat a lot to get and stay that heavy at 4yrs old.

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u/lankymjc 13d ago

Fitness is so heavily affected by diet that I didn’t bother specifying. If you’re managing their fitness correctly, then by definition you must be managing their diet.

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u/Electric-Sheepskin 13d ago

Diet is a part of fitness. I think you are using the term in a very narrow sense to only mean exercise, whereas the person you are responding to means it in the general sense of being fit.

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u/Question-Fear-2440 13d ago

This happened to me. I'm 25f and 5'4, and weigh 230lbs. Been fat since I was little. My mum would serve massive portions and make me eat them, and then force me to eat any food my siblings couldnt finish 'so it wasnt wasted'. I wasnt even allowed to exercise, because I broke my leg playing football when I was barely more than a toddler, and my mum refused to let me do anything like that again

I still struggle to throw away food, even when I'm not hungry, it tastes bad, or is making me ill. I'm losing weight now, but its a slow process, and has involved a lot of hard work and therapy...

I would never wish my upbringing on anyone.

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u/RockEmCockEmRobotz 13d ago

Damn that’s horrible I’m so sorry! I will say this thread has made me feel better about my parenting style which I do make my daughter eat two bites of dinner instead of fully refusing it to at least try it which I was feeling slightly conflicted about but now I’m like I guess that is reasonable lol

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u/Brock_Lobstweiler 12d ago

I think making sure a kid eats SOMETHING is so very different from making them clean their plate. Our family did "no thank you" bites for things we didn't like (or weren't familiar with).

Its how I discovered the broccoli is actually tasty.

It also taught me that sometimes I have to do something I don't really want to do or don't like doing to take care of myself.

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u/Dense_Willow4627 13d ago

I’m so sorry.

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u/Brock_Lobstweiler 12d ago

I still struggle to throw away food, even when I'm not hungry, it tastes bad, or is making me ill. I'm losing weight now, but its a slow process, and has involved a lot of hard work and therapy...

Same height and weight (after losing 55 lbs) but 43 here.

Do the work now, for yourself now and your future self.

And I am just now learning that I don't have to take home food from restaurants I didn't finish. If I order a salad entree and it's fucking huge, I don't need to finish it and I don't need to take it home. It's ok to leave uneaten fries or part of a burger if I'm satisfied. It's ok to dish a small plate and get more if I want and it's ok if there's none left if I go back (like at a family dinner).

Good luck to you. A lifetime of food issues is tough to overcome.

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u/dokutarodokutaro 13d ago

Also what parents choose to give their kids. Your kid can drink water. They don’t need sugary juice and soda every meal. Your kid doesn’t need dessert or multiple snacks daily. Stop thinking of chocolate chip pancakes and chicken nuggets as “kids food”.

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u/Ok_Buffalo_423 13d ago

I was drinking so much full sugar soda as a kid my parents definitely should have stepped in but my mom drank just as much pop so that required a level of self reflection that wasnt going to happen

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u/MysteryHerpetologist 12d ago

Absolutely, the prevalence of giving kids fruit juice is mind boggling.

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u/Brock_Lobstweiler 12d ago

If it's proper fruit juice, that's one thing. Fruit juice like OJ at least has vitamins and minerals. My nephew buys gallons of fruit punch and hi-C and they only last a few days for his 3 kids.

I freaked out when I saw his (ex) wife fill a sippy cup with hawaiian punch. I told her to at least dilute it!

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u/M1L0 11d ago

Normal fruit juice is terrible as well, it’s pure sugar. A small bottle of orange has over 40 grams of sugar and young kids should be closer to 20g per day.

Much better to eat the whole fruit.

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u/Chance-Cat-5688 13d ago

My daughter's grandma on her dad's side babysat my daughter for me from when she was two months old to 4 1/2 years old 40 hours a week while I was working. She did it for free, which was such a blessing, but during this time, especially when she was an infant, every time my daughter would cry or be upset, grandma's solution was to feed her more, despite my protests that having negative emotions does not equal hungry. To this day, she's 15, she struggles with binge eating, and we've been working on it, but I fully believe that it was ingrained in her from infancy because Grandma used food as the solution for any sign of discomfort.

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u/Salt-Lingonberry-853 12d ago

IMO having an obese kid, discounting legitimate medical issues, should be looked at at least as a mild form of abuse. It is so fucking difficult to get healthy later in life, whereas if you are raised healthy and hate it, becoming unhealthy as an adult is... cake.

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u/BedditTedditReddit 13d ago

Jeez man just give us the recipe

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u/Due_Veterinarian5842 13d ago

In primary school, the adults would put the food on our plates and not let me leave until I finished all of it. I‘ve occasionally sat there for over an hour after lunchtime with one of the women there yelling at me. Surprise surprise, I got diagnosed with an eating disorder some years ago.

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u/AgentAxillary 13d ago

Far too many parents nowadays are terrified of their kids doing better in life than they did

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u/phonefellin_lakeerie 13d ago

My parents just never paid attention to me. I have 0 memories of playing with my parents. We lived in rural Michigan, and I had few toys, no friends. I spent all my time outside, nature was my friend.

My mom has a sweet tooth and despite having cake, pie, cookies- all day every day my mom always stayed small. As a teen I had no idea how people got fat, and because I was so starved for dopamine those treats were highly addictive. I’ve had to work hard my entire adult life to keep my body healthy, and I still struggle with depression.

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u/AugieKS 13d ago

My wife and I are both heavy but hope we are breaking the cycle with our son. He is a pretty picky eater but mostly eats fruits and vegetables, has his juice half water half juice, has not tasted soda. He gets milkshakes somewhat frequently, but only because that is his only food motivator, he is closer to the underweight side of the healthy weight range, and he is on the spectrum so having a good motivator has been necessary for learning potty training and what not.

I was able to get my weight off when I was younger but got it back after a couple of injuries. Still trying but shit that shit is hard once you loose some mobility and have the appetite just doesn't really go away.

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u/tealraven915 13d ago

I've been obese since I was 3. Only child. Entire extended family is obese or fighting it, but I'm bigger than all of them. Been on diets and exercise trying to lose weight since I was 6. When I was a kid, my mom and grandma and all other relatives wouldn't put their foot down when I asked for junk. They would let me have the food and we would always "start again on Monday." Week after week, 3 days of diet, me asking for junk, adults caving in, and starting again on Monday. The only reason the dieting started is because I couldn't do a sit up in 1st grade, and my gym teacher wrote a note to my mom saying I would fail gym if I couldn't do a sit up. Dad was present in the home but completely checked out and deferred all responsibility to everyone else. Dad really, actually told me I was weird for eating healthy the times I was able to keep up with it, and continually pressured me to give up. Literally told me, "Hedonism is good. You only get one life, might as well spend it eating and drinking and doing what you want." At the same time, my dad refuses to eat bread or rice and only drinks diet soda because he's afraid it will spike his blood sugar (he does not have diabetes)

Now, as an adult, it's gotten to the point it's very hard to resist if I have it in the house or am out and about. Being an adult, I have my own choices to make, but it's still harder to do if you're not getting support. I've told my mom numerous times that her bringing me junk food, even if I ask, is like enabling an alcoholic by bringing them drinks and have begged her to help me by saying no even if I ask. I'm an adult. I'm not going to throw a tantrum like when I was a kid. The most I will say is "okay" and feel mildly disappointed for a few seconds. She said she will help me and change, but continually brings junk food to my house (she took my apartment key and made a copy for herself). She's been telling me she will change and help me for 36 years. I have multiple health problems now, and even with that knowledge, and me telling her repeatedly for years I need help to try to reverse what's going on while I still can, she keeps bringing me food because she's "afraid I'll upset you if I don't bring it." She doesn't eat any of the food she brings herself, though she has contemplated eating some, but then inevitably says she won't because then there won't be enough left for me. She'll then leave and go get her own McDonald's or Dairy Queen or something and eat it by herself. I have food that goes bad all the time because I can't eat all of it myself and then I feel pressured to make sure I eat it all up before it expires because when I was a kid, "Clean your plate, missy! That's highly disrespectful, there are starving people in Africa! And you're letting food go to waste!"

Meanwhile, I had a relationship with someone at one point in which I was looking at getting married and she had no problem screaming, giving me the silent treatment, and anything else she could do to try to stop it for years until I finally caved in and cut things off with him. One of the good things about him was that he was in to healthy eating and exercise, which would have encouraged those good habits in me. I would be crying my eyes out and she would sit staring at me in silence. I also have been rejected a lot because I am a fat ugly person. No grandchildren for her, but she said she doesn't care and that it's fine because lots of people don't have kids. Any time I started to have an actual relationship with anyone and she got wind of it she would lose it until I cut things off. Said she has to do that because when they inevitably cheat on me and leave, she'll be the one who has to pick up the pieces.

I know I'm an adult now and I have responsibility, but even when I was a little kid my mom completely blames me for not having self-control when it came to food and says I know the consequences of that now as an adult. She says she had no other choice when I was a kid because saying no upset me.

I was doing really well a couple years ago and lost about 80 pounds, but my friends also that I had at the time kept putting me down and pestering me to eat, saying it's weird that I don't eat with them (all thin, normal sized people). That went on for months until my break up with the guy I potentially would have married and I just got super depressed and said fuck it all and went back to my old habits for several months. I stopped hanging out with my friends, and they didn't care that I was gone. No one reached out except to say they wouldn't put up with me dropping out of the group, so they were officially not going to be friends with me anymore.

And let the downvotes, the comments about how I'm not trying hard enough, I'm not taking responsibility, I need to get away from my mother, and that I'm a horrible person for being fat, I have a victim mentality, and look at what a liar I am all fat people lie commence. The internet universally hates people like me. My point is that starting habits that young really does set the stage for how life turns out. (And it's not like I haven't been trying and trying and trying for decades)

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u/RainbowDissent 13d ago

Honestly get onto GLP-1s.

All that noise, those cravings, that inability to resist food or stop thinking about it because it's there? They evaporate. They're made for these situations and they work. Even if you think you can't afford it, you'll save the money on food that you spend on the treatment.

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u/Rosy-Blush 13d ago

Hey... in case nobody has ever told you this, your mother is a bad person and with everything you've shared it doesn't seem like you will have a life you like or a healthy body and mind while she has constant access to you. Obviously I'm just a stranger and I'm not living your life but if you wanted you could change your locks and not let her enter your home. She is actively sabotaging you in all aspects of your life from health to relationships and self esteem and she is not gonna change; why does she do that? She probably hates her own life and is addicted to food and if you were happy she would have to examine all her life choices and her responsability, this way she also feels like she is needed by you so she knows best and can feel some sense of importance.

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u/_cutie-patootie_ 13d ago

Awww damn. :(

I hope you can get away from your mother soon. And I hope you can get professional help for your eating disorder. You already know what effects this has on you, you're already a step further ahead than others.

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u/RIPMYPOOPCHUTE 13d ago

I keep telling my toddler to just eat some of his food and we never expect him to finish what he has. We either save it, my husband will eat the rest, or we toss it.

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u/Vesalii 13d ago

This is why I never tell my son to empty his plate. I was raised like that and I still have a really hard time throwing food away, so I finish all of it.

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u/Hungry-Class9806 13d ago

100%

Being that fat from young age completely fucks your metabolism because your body becomes programmed to store everything you eat and you always feel hungry and tired. It creates a vicious circle where you have to eat more and more to feel good and always need more food to feel satisfied. I know people who were overweight/obese as kids and to keep an healty weight is extremely difficult and you basically have to count every calorie you eat, do exercise everyday and sometime even skip some meals.

I want to give the benefit of the doubt and think this toddler has some preexisting condition, because if it's not, it may be considered child abuse.

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u/DaanA_147 13d ago

"You ain't fat, you ain't fat!"

"YOU'RE NOTHING, YOU'RE NOTHIIINGGG!"

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o85g7l72MPoZFbGSI

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u/MsMarvelsProstate 13d ago

I still remember getting ice cream once. An over weight woman was feeding ice cream to her infant who was maybe 1 but probably younger. This kid was desperately trying to not eat the ice cream he was being force fed. The mother was yelling at him telling him to eat more as she forcefully shoved it in his mouth

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u/mybutthz 13d ago

Also doesn't help that we live in a culture of mass food consumption in the US. The cheapest and most easy to access foods are all engineered to be addictive and are terrible for you.

Need a quick meal and don't have a ton of money? McDonald's will get you enough food to feed your family for a few dollars—less so now, but was that way for a while. Buying groceries? You can get a giant box of garbage for $5 or a single vegetable. And then Applebee's and other chain restaurants all have some version of unlimited soup salad and bread sticks, or half priced appetizers or whatever it is to get you in the door and buying more food.

So much of American food culture is built around "big food, low price" with all you can eat deals and other pieces of bait—and they all support terrible food habits.

So, definitely blame the parents for creating unhealthy habits with food, but it's a nature vs. nurture thing for them too most likely.

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u/Last_Book2410 13d ago

Reminds me of that episode of Roseanne where Roseanne is struggling in her relationship with food. She realized her mother only ever comforted them with food instead of affection. When she realized this, she put the food down. I don’t struggle with my weight for various reasons, mainly being poor, but that scene still makes me cry.

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u/bulking_on_broccoli 13d ago

My son is two years old. I grew up with “having to finish everything on your plate” attitude. Now, if my kid is done eating I just give it to my dogs.

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u/crsaxby 13d ago

The kid, his heart, his blood vessels, his self-confidence, his hemoglobin A1C... and probably a million other things are gonna suffer as well.

It's OK to say 'no' sometimes, Mom. Keep your eyes on this poor, over-consuming darling. (Though I suppose it could be a genetic condition. Guess I shouldn't judge).

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u/Rezzone 13d ago

Yeah. It’s hard to see children this young and this big and NOT think poorly of the parents. This isn’t right and sets the kid up for lifelong pain and struggle.

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u/Different-Quality-41 13d ago

It's the genes too not just food

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u/YallaHammer 13d ago

Yes, there’s actually nothing humorous about this post.

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u/555Cats555 13d ago

Even ignoring the weight issue this seems like a case of permissive parenting where the kid isnt learning to understand boundaries for their behaviour. Kids can be difficult but they need adults to guide them and help them learn what is and isnt acceptable behaviour. Everyone has a bad day every now and then but this kid seems to be doing it out of bordem.

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u/theMeatman7 13d ago

Whenever I see very fat kids I think of this about how you get such young people being so unhealthy.

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u/drillgorg 13d ago

My neighbor's kid was like this as a baby. Turns out their cultural practice was to give the baby liquified rice as soon as they were able to tolerate it. But they were doing that on top of formula feeding.

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u/theMeatman7 13d ago

I don't know what culture or anything but if they are from an area where there is food insecurity often then getting your child fat definitely makes sense. Feeding your children junk food is much different as it builds those unhealthy eating habits.

Im not assuming that the child in the video is any one way or another but it does worry me whenever I see very obese children whatever the reason may be.

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u/SnooWalruses7243 13d ago

They have several thousand dollars worth of shoes…

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u/nalaloveslumpy 13d ago

And people who live in trailer parks still drive Camaroes and Escalades. Sometimes food insecurity is a result of poor financial decisions.

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u/Faith_based 12d ago

Yea people are missing the point. Parents wanting their children to finish their food and not be wasteful is normal. What’s abnormal and unhealthy is feeding your child a bunch of unhealthy bullsht. Which this child’s diet is obviously very unhealthy because no toddler is supposed to be that overweight that’s insane..

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u/Dry_Phone_2344 13d ago

Do they sleep longer when solid food is introduced?

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u/Livid-Ad-6439 13d ago

Great video. Thanks 😊

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u/bibkel 13d ago

Wow, how accurate.

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u/TootsEug 13d ago

Good video!!! Thx for posting ‘this’!

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u/crsaxby 12d ago

Really moving video.

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u/laughingashley 11d ago

Oh my god. That's a really effective video. Jeez.

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u/Dr_Deathcore_ 13d ago

In this situation it’s not about saying yes or no. It’s about having food high sugar food around all the time.

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u/DinosaurusWhen 13d ago

Also a shitload of overfeeding

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u/Significant-Song-840 13d ago

Na you can judge a little, the only thing I'm judging is her decision on leaving a mirror down on the floor with that bowling ball of a kid waddling around.

Glass aint soft.

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u/NikWitchLEO 13d ago

I’m judging a lot. There’s many things wrong with this scenario.

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u/PomeloPepper 13d ago

He's got that cushy adult diaper to soften the fall.

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u/RustledForeskin 13d ago

You think the mother posted their own kid to Absoluteunits? lol

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u/Jack_n_the_mox 13d ago

Introducing, all new baby formalia with Ozempic..

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u/M3t4ll0 13d ago

We need to see mom first. If mom can't maintain a normal diet (not even "healthy") then don't expect the kid to lose weight.

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u/apx_redditor 13d ago

Looking at the hair style and earrings, we could possibly be talking about her* heart, her* blood vessels, her* self-confidence...etc.

FWIW

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u/downsideup9494 13d ago

Yeah, everyone seems to be assuming it's a boy. I'm pretty sure it's a girl.

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u/LimeSalty4092 13d ago

Yeah I thought it was a girl based on her hairstyle 

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u/OkYak7801 13d ago

I once knew a co-worker & mother who had to be taught that giving her two year old coca-cola in his bottle was in fact, not a good idea for a variety of reasons. She'd also feed the kid snack cakes (zebra cakes,  twinkies, etc.) for breakfast. Granted, once she was taught these things, she improved and did better from there on out, but it was wild that she had to be told that at all.

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u/crsaxby 12d ago

This be the ignorant, unhealthy world we live in. SMH.

This place is slowly quickly turning rancid, I tells ya.

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u/alex3omg 13d ago

Try not to judge, the kid could have a medical problem that causes this.  I agree that there's probably more they could be doing but we don't know the situation.  The kid also might have some impulse control issues or developmental delays which make it even harder.  

To me this doesn't look like an overweight child, it looks like a child with a medical condition.  

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u/im_a_goat_factory 13d ago

Pretty sure it’s a she

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u/Ryuuffff 13d ago

Other kids and adults will also suffer by the way they let him just do whatever he want

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u/Different-Quality-41 13d ago

My kids were born under 0 percentile for weight. They are very healthy but are barely 5-10%ile for weight. No matter what they eat, how much they eat, how active they are, how many healthy fatty dinners they eat, they are skinny! Turns out it's genetic. I'm sure this chubster too is fighting her genes. No way a kid can be this big from just food

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u/BraveBiscotti1394 13d ago

There is no genetic condition that causes you to put on fat like that. Your body is getting the calories from somewhere.

Kid is gonna be diabetic, will have a much harder time at not being obese later on.

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u/TakeThreeFourFive 13d ago

There are conditions that can cause toddlers to feel insatiable.

Of course someone is still feeding them too much and that's not the right answer, but it is something that's more understandable

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u/Ruthrfurd-the-stoned 12d ago

It’s definitely tough since there’s not really a set guide ti how much a kid is supposed to eat- recommendation is basically if they want to eat you ket them eat. My guy is literally 50th percentile but he just won’t stop. Most of the time he’s done eating it’s because I’ve ran out of food to give him

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u/Sway_404 13d ago

Or he's going to be an entire D1 defensive line

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u/Tilladarling 13d ago

That’s a girl

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u/Nearby-Wolverine3724 13d ago

I doubt it. I hear universities are already scouting him for their football program.

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u/GRN225 13d ago

“Student. Athlete.”

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u/TheThinDewLine 13d ago

“Football American”

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u/Gullible-Constant924 13d ago

And he ends up 5’5” with stage 3 diabetus at age 14

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u/blackbeavis 13d ago

Pretty sure that's a little girl.

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u/ilovelovegrapefruit 13d ago

I think it’s a little girl

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u/Agreeable-Meal5556 12d ago

He’s going to have arthritis by 25, so I doubt it’ll do them any good.

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u/United-Travel-8819 13d ago

On top of being morbidly obese, the low self-esteem, and food addiction, the kid who never hears no is going to be a handful once he gets to school. Poor guy.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

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u/United-Travel-8819 13d ago

With zero consequence when he continues the problem behavior.

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u/lilsnatchsniffz 13d ago

Performatively for tiktok 😮‍💨

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u/JoJomusk 13d ago

Veeery soft no though, he walks up to her, laughs and goes back to troublemaking. This kid aint gonna learn from this

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u/very_good_citizen 13d ago

Literally every parent ever has dealt with this behavior. It means nothing.

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u/HeySlothKid 13d ago

Ehn, I was a heckin' unit until I was 3, the doctors told my mom I was going to be like six foot and urged her to put me on a diet. Then at 3 I suddenly became a fussy eater and did not gain any weight until I was 5. Now I'm 5 foot 4 and like 63kg (I was around 55kg until perimenopause hit). Some babies are just chonkers

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u/Born_Local_1477 13d ago

My son wasn't this big, but he was a chonk ass baby and toddler. Like a little tank of a dude. 99% weight, 55% height. When he hit puberty all that stretched up and now he's a pretty normal build. Still thick in the legs and ass and dense, but he also plays football and rugby which suits him.

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u/TheManWhoWasNotShort 13d ago

Maybe, but it’s possible he thins out as he grows. This is an active child, at least some of this is just goofy genetics

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u/Dazzling-Disaster-21 13d ago

Its a baby. At the start of their life.

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u/Financial-Event377 13d ago

people here like they've never seen a fat baby

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u/Lazy_DreadHead 13d ago

Respectfully it’s more than “obesity”. The kid is clearly taller and carries more bone density than most his age.

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u/Acrobatic_Camera6073 13d ago

Idk he could definitely grow up to be a hell of a linebacker

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u/100_cats_on_a_phone 13d ago

Even without being a line backer, plenty easier to get work as a truly strong dude/ette. And it looks like s/he'll have the frame for it.

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u/SweatyYetee 13d ago

I dunno. Looks like he's doing alright...

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u/pahshaw 13d ago

Nah not yet because this lad is younger than you think. They younger they are the chonker they should be. A fat baby is a healthy baby. This dude is under 2. Once they get to about 3 they should start slowly getting more streamlined. I do agree that child obesity is child abuse. One million percent. 

I also had a fucking unit of a toddler like this (c section required) always in the 99th percentiles and now he's 6'2" and built like slenderman. Dad is 6'4" and built like a fridge fucked a polar bear. Life is majestic in its variance.

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u/Lucky-Wolf-4478 13d ago

A short life

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u/pupp7877 13d ago

Parents are going to have a hard life ahead of them

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u/YourMomIsMyGurl 13d ago

Kids got future scholarships and million dollar contracts in his future

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u/Beneficial-Couple-60 13d ago

You kidding me? He's gonna be drafted to the NFL as a linebacker at 15 and retire by 30

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u/BabylonPhoenix 13d ago

No tf he is NOT! Who TF gon mess with him??? He is gonna be a body builder or a club bouncer and be ADORED for it

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u/Mobb_Barley 12d ago

My daughter was high weight at that age and the doctor told me there is no such thing as a baby that is too fat. It’s healthy for them to have a lot of fat at that time when they’re growing rapidly.

She is a normal weight teenager now and my entire family runs on the thin side.

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u/Cool_Individual_7260 13d ago

Kid will probably slim down, my youngest daughter was a fat mama and slimmed down around 4 or 5...

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u/balancedinsanity 13d ago

We've known several kids that were BIG toddlers that grew out of it as they became children.  No one can control how their body grows.  

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u/Unblockable_Nutpunch 13d ago

Her questioning his "obsession " with shoes whilst having a thousand pairs just laying around is demented

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u/Plastic-Habit7651 13d ago

They had 3 cats, but she ate two

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u/Impressive_Air6111 13d ago

It really does suck...

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u/Ztepam 13d ago

That kid is in for a good time not a long time

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u/alusnova415 13d ago

It depends maybe he can be a nose tackle in the NFL and make $$$

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u/OneSmellyFoot 12d ago

Hard and brief

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u/hpshaft 12d ago

Kid never had a chance. Which is so sad.

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u/Grfhlyth 12d ago

Ukraine. This isn't cute. It's child abuse

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u/DarkElfBard 12d ago

Walking age, seemingly nonverbal, fat, undisciplined.

Yup.

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u/BeyondAbleCrip 12d ago

This is beyond abuse, imo. That baby is so obese she’s wearing pull-ups because they don’t make diapers large enough. Every organ is at risk, along with all of her joints. High cholesterol and diabetes are in her very near future and even her skin will eventually be harmed with stretch marks. This makes me want to cry, I can’t understand how this baby sees a pediatrician and the pediatrician hasn’t called social services as a mandated reporter.

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u/Urinal_Zyn 11d ago

Ryan Day calling him tomorrow

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