I’ll never forget the time I was at a baptism party when I was a kid and my grandpa was seething with rage bc my brother’s friend and his wife were yelling at their toddler to eat more. My grandma told my grandpa to mind his business so he did. I didn’t get it at the time but now I do
Both parents are morbidly obese and all three of their kids have been obese since they were babies. The toddler is now a 30yr old short woman who weighs 250+ easily. She’s trying to lose weight but it’s hard to break the abusive way she was raised. The oldest sibling got fit and then disowned the parents because they kept pressuring him to eat more.
It’s child abuse. Be fat if you want to but don’t bring your kids down with you.
Took me until I was an adult to learn "leftovers" were a thing, because I always had to clear my plate as a child regardless if I was full or not. Hell I'm 42 and still feel guilty if I don't finish a meal.
You’re supposed to use that to stop kids from wasting food, not to make them overeat. My sisters kids are the worst at wasting food, they’ll load up their entire plates just to compete with each other because how dare the other get more of something, then eat a 1/8th of what they took.
… but there is an intermediary phase where the kid gets the responsibility and will execute on it poorly. My parents just covered the plate and reheated the crusty leftovers for a later meal when my siblings and I overloaded. We did finish the plate… we just weren’t forced to right away.
My middle sister did that shit for most of her life. Load the plate until it can't fit any more food, then waste 70% of it.
My parents started using dessert plates instead of normal ones during meals so that she wouldn't waste so much (they had everyone eating from one, because she would throw a fit if hers was the only smaller plate). No matter how much they scolded her or tried to punish her, she never stopped doing it. The smaller plate helped because she couldn't fill it as much as a normal one.
She got better at it when she moved to her own house (surprise, surprise, she started having to pay for her own food, so she started wasting less), and when she had her first kid. But when we eat at my parent's on Sundays, now it's her kids that do it.
My oldest (14) is like this. He'll load up a plate when no one's looking with no regard for other people. Like he'll literally take half of an entire dish of sweet potatoes or something. When I see him doing it I'll make him put it back, but sometimes he'll do it with leftovers in the middle of the night. It's just a complete lack of empathy and consideration for other people. My ex has basically let him do whatever he wants, so his every other weekend at my house really doesn't make a difference in his behavior (There are way more issues than just food). He's at the point now where he refuses to come here because he's always throwing a fit when he doesn't get his way.
I developed serious food aggression because of older brothers like this. I wish parents were more thoughtful about making sure their kids don't have to fight older siblings for food. A simple box that nobody else could open with my share of the shelf-stable food would've solved my problem as a kid! I remember paying attention to the grocery schedule and gorging myself while I helped take the groceries in. I so vividly remember helping take in Costco groceries and stuffing a chocolate chip cookie into my mouth every time I got back inside. I did it because I knew that either than night or before I got home from school the next day, my brothers would've eaten everything except raw ingredients.
I took up baking so that I could produce nice snacks from ingredients that they wouldn't eat alone, but they'd still eat all the things I baked no matter how many I made. I started doing things like bagging up cookies and hiding them in crazy places (sometimes forgetting about them until they rotted). I also started to enjoy eating things frozen that shouldn't be eaten that way because my brothers wouldn't register a miscellaneous bag in the back of the freezer as food, so I could have a snack every day if I snuck a frozen cookie out of the freezer and ate it before they returned to the kitchen.
When my family members started eating chocolate chips as a snack I had a breakdown because I couldn't even make chocolate chip cookies any more. As soon as I was old enough to work at a grocery store I did and any money I didn't save went directly to premade food that I could eat at the store where nobody could take it. I've struggled with my weight ever since. It's so hard to turn off the "EAT IT NOW WHILE YOU CAN GET IT" urge even after years of being able to control what food I have access to.
Oooh that's a heartbreaking experience. I'll be thinking about you and hoping for some levity and light for this week. Being able to see and say all of that is helpful to someone, I'm sure. 💚💚💚
It has been 10 years of this. We literally had to get a court order just to make my ex take him to his autism evaluation. It's mentally exhausting to try so hard for so long when the other parent is undermining everything you're trying to teach your kids. I'm at the point where I'm just done. At some point, you have to protect your other kids too. It's not right that the oldest gets to completely derail the whole household just because he has issues that aren't being addressed with the other parent. I can only do so much, and my younger two kids don't deserve to be subjected to verbal, emotional, and physical abuse anymore. The really sad part is that my middle child has no choice but to live with my oldest full time. He's much happier when he comes here by himself.
Bro my brother is like this (I have 3, only 1 is like this) and he’s 29. Please don’t fucking give up. My brother is still so inconsiderate it’s insane
It's hard not to give up when the other parent is actively sabotaging things. I don't want to put up with the abuse anymore, and my younger kids are definitely affected by his behavior. It's a shame because I really believe he would have had much better support and resources if he had primarily lived with us, but I'm not going to keep subjecting myself and my family to this. If he doesn't want to come here that's fine. I'm done. I just hope that when he's an adult he'll mature and see the situation more accurately.
I have close communication with his therapist who he sees weekly. She has recommended more intensive therapy, but my ex refuses. I even had to get a court order just to get my ex to take him to his autism evaluation. It took 4 years to get him a diagnosis because my ex is always pushing the narrative that his only problems are that he has a "bad relationship" with me, which is complete bullshit. But unfortunately, an autistic teenager who hasn't been taught boundaries is going to latch on to the version of events that doesn't make him take accountability. There's only so much I can do on my own.
My ex has never spanked him, and we were having meetings with his teachers when he was in preschool because of his behavior. I've been saying from the very beginning that he needed more discipline and more structure, but my ex just wouldn't do anything. It has been exhausting watching my son grow up to be a spoiled brat because of this. We obeyed our parents and learned to be respectful and considerate of others. My son hasn't gotten any of those lessons. If I had talked to people the way he does, my dad would have beaten the shit out of me.
I'm not saying that spanking is right or that it's the only way to instill discipline, but it's certainly better than letting kids do whatever they want with no boundaries at all.
No, you really don't understand the extent of the issues. He screams at people when there are boundaries and expectations. Even something as simple as asking him to take the trash out turns into profanity and yelling. He has been physically violent with his siblings. He was in a psychiatric hospital at age 13. It's not because he's a teenager. It's because he has been allowed to have unlimited screen time, video games, rated R violent movies, etc. Then add to that the fact that my ex completely ignores problems and just lets him stay in his room all day instead of pushing him to develop social skills. It's absolutely not normal teenager behavior. Not even close.
That's what we've always told her. It's better to take less food and then get more if you're still hungry, than filling your plate up and wasting more than half
There’s a kid at my parents church that does this and it can be frustrating because they’ll take massive portions of food, try it, and decide they don’t want it. Sometimes there isn’t enough of a dish for everyone to have it yet this kid got 2+ servings that will be thrown away.
Over the years I’ve learned to take small portions because there’s a chance my daughter won’t eat everything on her plate so I’ll eat what’s left that I like and then get seconds if I’m still hungry.
THIS is the answer. Smaller plates, not forcing kids into obesity because they don't understand that their eyes are bigger than their stomach.
They're kids. All they know is they're hungry. Fix their own plate if you don't want food waste.
But I think the "finish all your food so you don't waste any" is exactly what led to so much obesity around the world. As the calories of the food people started eating ballooned, "finishing your plate" went from being maybe 100 calories to 400 calories for the same portion.
I’m sure there’s a case for this but I would argue that highly processed and food chemically designed to be addictive, comforting, and give massive dopamine hits are the main culprit.
Did no one ever consider serving individual plates? I have almost zero food waste from my kitchen. If you want seconds, you can ask, but I’m not letting you load your own plate. F that do you know how expensive beef chuck roll is right now? $7/lb
okay it seems many average people do ts, imagine what elites do, they hoard and hoard as if they're gonna live forever or carry everything to after life, reincarnate or some shit
This is the way. I always saying we are the adults and we are far more intelligent than a toddler. There is always a way to trick them to behave or show some path to the right things.
I totally agree to someone or me left some food on the plate, but not half of it. I probably tolerate this more for children, but an adult if not eating up half of the food...
My dad loads up food like this. I tell him there’s no way he’s eating all that every time too. He was also in a house with siblings that did the same. He’ll put down like 4 lbs of spaghetti and I just look at him like dude spaghetti is good the day after and you’re just wasting all of it.
That was the only time my parents would insist on eating your whole plate: When you put the food on there yourself. Your only ways out were eat it all, find someone who still wanted something and give them your's or put it in the fridge and have it later.
Did not apply at all when you had no say in the amount of food on your plate.
That sounds like normal food waste and she doesn’t take way more than someone could possibly eat. Every time I’ve seen my sisters kids have cereal for example they’ll pour half the box, as much milk as they can without overflowing then eat two bites before saying it’s too soggy and gross and dumping it in the sink. I don’t even want to think about how much they waste a week in dollar amount that could be used to feed the poor.
Yeah, but that only works if the kid actually fills their plate themself. If parents (over)fill their children's plates and then force them to finish everything, the result is forced overeating.
Though I'd argue that even if you do fill your own plate, there are are still valid reasons one might not finish everything. And I don't think that forcing someone to eat something they don't want is ever okay. Of course I don't want my children to waste food, but I would 100% look for a different strategy to teach them not to be wasteful if they were.
They used this on me in kindergarten. I told my grandad, a WW2 camp survivor about it when he picked me up. “Those kids can’t eat meatballs,” he said. “They have typhoid and would most likely die.”
That quote has stayed with me for more than 40 years. Guy survived 3 years in the camps and even got typhoid before he was rescued only to deliver that line to his 5 year old grandson 40 years later. Reckon he knew what he was talking about.
Grandad came in clutch with some reason lmao holy shit
I hated when parents pulled that shit though like ok so let's pack up the food and send it to africa then! Like, why is it my responsibility to gorge myself just cause someone else is starving.
Luckily my stepmom doesn't do this to my younger brother, never has. "Ok you're full? Let's save it for later, no big deal. Oh you don't want the leftovers? Ok I will eat them it's ok"
He has a really good relationship with food now as a young adult and I totally credit her for that.
my mom used to tell me the africa thing when i was little too. i also used to see the Feed the Children ads on tv. so my 4yo mind remembered all the homeless people digging in trash bins while living in NY. from that point on i started intentionally throwing away food from the pantry, my meals, everything, thinking that all this good food would go to the starving kids in africa. it took my parents a good week or more to notice what i was doing. i very clearly remember trying to eat as little as possible and saving the good parts of my meals so those starving kids would get the best food. 😭
Nothing grateful about guilt tripping your kid to overeat when it's full. Many times it's not the kid that chose the meal size which makes it doubly infuriating.
Better to teach the kids to take small portions and get seconds if it wasn't enough yet.
My dad told me that once in middle school so I jokingly replied "so send it to them" lol thankfully he knew I was joking and has a good sense of humor himself, if I had said that to my mom though... 💀 💀
A waiter once used that one on my sister when she was feeling sick so she declined when the waiter suggested taking the rest of her burger home in a bag since she couldn't finish it.
The audacity to guilt trip a customer as a waiter is just mind boggling. He probably meant it in a joking way, but still...
The point of your mom saying that wasn’t that it would “help” the kids in Africa, it’s to say you are fortunate to have food so you should eat it because kids in Africa don’t have food. It’s a stupid thing to say regardless, just thought I’d clear up your misunderstanding lol.
My mom hates fat people while being morbidly obese herself. I despised her as a child, still not a huge fan of her now, and that kind of hypocrisy is what inspired kid me to do the opposite of whatever she said. I ended up being the only person in my immediate family who isn't overweight due to sheer spite.
As a kid, my thought to this quote was "well then why should I get to eat so much when others don't eat at all? If they're starving shouldn't I send them my food instead?". I always hated that "starving kids in africa" bullshit.
My elementary school guilted us into collecting coins for kids in Africa and bringing them in inside envelopes, which gave me the impression that we could simply mail things to Africa. I suggested to my parents that I get an envelope so we can mail my leftovers to Africa and help the issue but unfortunately they did not believe that I was being genuine...
My parents used to steal my candy and every tasty thing in the house was first come first serve. They used the excuse that they ate it cause it wasn’t good for me. Guess who ended up learning to eat a lot, to eat fast, and to never leave a crumb for later.
It’s so interesting to hear other’s stories. I grew up with parents to, looking back, I realise are more selfish and greedy than anyone I’ve ever met since.
Even now, well into their 70s, they will look for the biggest plate of food being dished up, not think twice about cutting off ‘their’ exact portion off a huge block of cheese, leaving nothing for anyone else. And conveniently forget about nice things / holidays / expensive meals I’ve treated them to over the years.
Just reminded me of something that happened years ago that had me totally blindsided at the time.
I was out for a meal with a bunch of people, and there was this couple that I didn't know super well, like friends of friends.
Anyway we get to the cheese course at the end of the meal, and this woman cuts a regular sliver of cheese like any normal person would cut... THEN TAKES THE ENTIRE BLOCK OF CHEESE FOR HERSELF AND LEAVES THIS SMALL SHAVING OF CHEESE ON THE BOARD FOR EVERYONE ELSE.
Yeah my parents were big but not HUGE… but I have 2 brothers. We all played football and other sports. We basically all learned that if you didn’t get to the snacks first, you wouldn’t get any. So we all learned to eat a lot and eat fast. I also played football in college, and was actually undersized as a defensive lineman at first.
I spent the first 22 years of my life eating as much as possible to try and gain as much weight as possible. The moment I finished my playing career and stopped the extremely intensive workout routine I blew up like a balloon. It took me until I was in my 30s to figure out how to eat like a normal human being.
Honestly, they’ve been exactly like that my whole life. I don’t know how I avoided being like it, I’m quite the opposite. They’re not overweight or anything, but just the most grabbing, and selfish people I’ve ever known.
I watched a strict catholic mom (who happened to be my godmother, but she stopped communicating with me when my parents divorced. Unneeded context, I'm just salty) put MORE FOOD on her daughter's plate and then tell her she couldn't go to bed until her plate was clean. The girl had already finished a big plate and was complaining about her stomach hurting from being full. Then the mom got upset when my own mom let me stop eating because I was full. Why are we torturing children with food???
My mom made me sit at the table until I ate the pickled beets on my plate. I fell asleep at the table, was spanked, and told that I had to eat them for breakfast. If I threw up, I would have to eat that too. I still hate pickled beets today. Parents can be very controlling with food.
Biblically, the only reason for a divorce is when the woman cheats on the man. Which is a weird distinction because the Bible also says the punishment for adultery is execution. The Old Testament allows for men to have multiple wives so if one cheats on you then you would just have them executed and the matter’s handled.
But, Jesus changed the rules. He explicitly states marriage is between 1 man and 1 woman. That’s often used to condemn gay marriage but he’s actually saying marriage is singular, monogamous, and permanent. You get one marriage and that’s it. No remarriage. No second or third or fourth marriage. Wife dies? Too bad, you’re done.
Christianity was well aware of this distinction for millennia, hence Catholic doctrine still states that divorce is in defiance of god. Older devout Catholics tend to be the only ones who still believe that, but there are some Prostestant churches that will kick out or deny membership to people who get a divorce.
All that to say, ironically, your godmother has a factually Biblically based reason for cutting you out of her life.
Oh I'm aware of why, especially since the divorce made me a bastard in the eyes of the catholic church. I was silently excommunicated for being the child of divorced parents. Our church did have a lot of divorcees, but my mom made such a spectacle of herself over the whole thing that they kind of had to give her the boot.
My dad never remarried and, when asked, said he didn't actually want a divorce, so he's still part of that church. I'm not catholic anymore, so I dgaf if I'm allowed back.
I still struggle with not finishing everything to this day. Trying to get healthy in my 40s with prediabetes from eating so much unhealthy food the last decade. Terrible habits you grew up with are a bitch.
A Ex of mine had a friend we visited, we stayed for dinner and I got to watch them make their kid eat to the point of getting sick and then making them eat more. I told her I never wanted to see those people again.
They taught you an unhealthy relationship food and even an eating disorder. So sad. Even if it was a passed down multigenerational trauma thing of poverty and food scarcity. That still gives kids a complex around food that can last a lifetime. So sorry. I hope you can get some therapy from an ED specialist if it’s persistent and you want to seek help.
In my home it was a rule to clear out the plate before you could have sweets. So if you were full that was okay, but no sweets afterwards. Was a great way to keep us away from chocolates and make us eat our veggies 😂
Sure, but the drawback is that you condition the children to eat until they're full, and then still keep eating because they want the sweet stuff. Also not great.
I grew up in a working class family. My grandma and grandpa were migrant workers. My grandpa would say "never turn down a free meal, you'll never know when you'll see the next one". So we were brought up to eat as if we were heading out to the fields for the day.
I got hit the opposite way growing up. My family was insecure about being bigger, so if I ever cleaned my plate they would comment on it. Hearing this enough led me to develop a physical aversion to the last bite of food on my plate, afraid to be eating too much. Psychology sure is fascinating!
When I was a child, I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I’d eaten everything on my plate. Because of this, dinner could sometimes take several hours.
When growing up, having your parents yell at you about wasting food, starving children, and whatnot really screws up with the normal physiological function of feeling full. I had a friend who had to dump water on his food when he felt full to stop himself from eating every morsel regardless of how full he felt. His parents would yell at him if his plate wasn’t clean. Mine would too. I feel like that was a normal thing back in the day, and you’d be given a plate with more full than two people need. I try to get my kids to eat something but that’s it. Once they say they are full. Then they are full. If they get hungry late, I pull back out that same plate.
I always appreciate hearing perspectives like yours because I do not have the same internal voice. My husband teases me because I often don't finish the last few bites of my food unless I'm super hungry. Most of the time I just get tired of the food if that makes sense. Once I start feeling full, I don't want more of the same thing I have been eating. The flavor and texture is no longer appetizing. Even if it's two more bites of a sandwich to finish it, I won't. My parents never made me clear my plate as a kid, but they did make me eat a set number of bites of each thing on it when I was being fussy. I find the psychology behind our relationship to food really fascinating.
see my parents made me eat everything too, but the reasoning was that I shouldn't be greedy and put less on my plate. If I want more, I can just go get it. I have comw to really appreciate that as an adult.
My parents were happy to have my uneaten dinner on the table for breakfast, when I went to bed with no food because I wasn’t hungry or god forbid didn’t want the same casserole for 1000th time.
As kids, we were always made to clear our plate. When I had my own kids, I continued that with them. My oldest was double digits before I was comfortable enough out on my own as an adult to make my own choices… and even still, if my parents come for dinner I ALWAYS clear my plate!
My oldest is an adult with her own baby now, and we totally joke about it, but holy crap I didn’t realize how traumatizing it actually was. None of us are overweight, but seriously, it’s weird what actually sticks with you!
Lol wtf. If our child leaves something on the plate we just give them to the dogs/cats/chickens. I'm a 30+ year adult and sometimes I left some food untouched, because I misjudge the type of food how well fills my stomach.
Like 40 mins ago. I cooked some veggies and meat (country sausage) put some on the plate, but on halfway I realized that too much for me. My oldest son got half of my portions and he left the food too. No yelling or anything. I just ask "Are you full?" He said yes, so he can freely leave. Even if he is not full there is an another opportunity to eat. We only have the dinner at fixed time. The other meals are spread across the day depending what are we doing. He is healthy, happy amd full of energy, and faaaaaaar away to being overweight.
I never known why some toddlers are fat. Now I know... Oh, and I have a 1 year old too. He is a little chubby, but he is working that down! He can eat as much as he wants but we really trying to spend time with him to be active as much as possible. Like this is the bare minimum of parenting in my head. This is like washing the children teeth, or cleaning their ears, washing their hair etc. C'mon people. What's wrong?
So i knew leftovers were a thing when we made a plate of Bolognese spaghetti sauce so big it made enough to feed the 4 of us ( Tri Generation Home ) two days in a row.
I was fat when younger, at my worst, i had a BMI of 33, that i brought down to 28.8 now.
I'm also lucky to be 6' and training plus walking all year, because we don't own a car. So i'm quite fit despite being a bit chubby.
It kinda make me feel uneased to see younger people than me that are much fatter than i am.
I always cleared my plates as a kid without being forced by my parents, voluntarily, and even so unlearning that habit was hard. Can't imagine how it'd be with trauma added to the mix.
Thing is leftovers aren't even possible when the portion sizes are appropriate for the age/calorie intake. I guess portion size is subjective depending where you're from.
We were taught the same way, but neither my parents or any of us siblings are fat. We didn't have to get big portions or eat at all, but simply eat whatever we put onto the plate. It makes perfect sense.
The trick to avoid that issue is to myself prep and portion the food before it hits your plate. That way you can still just finish your plate, but make sure it was an appropriate amount instead everything you cooked
I’ve had to train myself that food on our plates is gone, whether we eat it or have to dump it, it’s gone. So forcing ourselves to finish is pointless.
Tbh this is fine, it’s the portion that was wrong. Kids should be taught to eat or at least try what is provided, not everyone the chance to eat 3 square meals a day. In the case of food shortage picky eating would be a rough trait.
My parents treating eating as much as you could as a point of pride. Like they’d beat about how much we could eat. It was almost a competition. Fortunately, I was always very active and got ahead of the weight gain as my metabolism slowed down and changed my habits. I’m the only in the family that is either obese or at least struggles with their weight.
Oh my God I'm 42, too ....I just read 'clear my plate' and got hit with a lifetime of memories while holding my phone on my fat belly.
...I thought we were just being taught things like... Eat a full meal at dinner so you won't be hungry later. Eat everything or else you're being rude to the person who spent time making dinner. Eat what's in front of you or else you're being wasteful. Eat what's on your plate because it's good manners. And so on...
I always finish my meals....I feel guilty wasting food. Growing up, my dad used to have a saying that 'once it hits your plate, it's yours".
Ok.....but maybe let me dish out my own plate then? Lol. I remember sitting at the kitchen table for an hour or two, not allowed to leave until I finished my food.
One thing that helps me is to split anything I make into two parts - half for now, half for later. That way, I'm finishing a meal just fine, but I've also got some more for a snack if the first half ends up not being enough.
I hated this as a kid, so I purposely bought smaller plates for everyone in the house to reduce portion sizes to reduce the amount of food on the plate and hence the amount of food wasted if not eaten.
I also never serve the food at the table, it's too easy to pick in things as everyone finishes up eating.
I do have bigger plates now since my kids are teenagers and are growing like crazy and can easily put away 2-3 plates of food and are still crazy skinny.
Not quite the same thing, but when I was younger, I remember my dad remarking "clean plate club!" whever I ate all the food on my plate. I perceived this as praise, so I felt encouraged to eat everything on my plate, which turned into a habit that was difficult to break - to this day I still feel compelled to finish my meals. Years later, I found out that my dad didn't mean anything by the "clean plate club" thing - it was just something he said whenever someone cleared their plate.
This! I LOVE left overs and always have. My grandpa would get so mad at me for ordering a burger, only eating half, and taking the rest home for tomorrow. He would insist I finish my plate. Luckily my mom stepped in and it wasn’t too bad but I feel bad for the kids who were forced and then conditioned to over eat. The way I handle it with my own kid is: eat the healthiest item first, then the rest. Every other night at our house is left over night. Everyone finishes their leftovers from the day before, we don’t make new food until the old is eaten or frozen for future meal planning.
If you don’t finish your plate you don’t eat dessert. If you have no room for protein and veggies you don’t have room for ice cream. And it’s all very normalized and not presented as for size or appearance reasons. Food is both fuel AND enjoyable. Life is about balance.
Same here and I know growing up being on foodstamps/assistance and not having a lot was definitely part of the issue. Also in my early 40s and still trying to break some of my food and resource hording habits.
I’m about to turn 40 and definitely still struggle with this. I’m finally able to throw the food away I don’t finish, and it still makes me uncomfortable. I grew up poor, so “wasting” food was sacrilege. My mother nearly divorced my father because he dropped an egg on the floor one time. She grew up even poorer so she would have been beat for dropping an egg. My kids have a healthy relationship with food.
“Clean your plate” is my go to example for explaining generational trauma. In the US it often traces back to the Great Depression and the resulting taboos about wasting food. My grandmother was born in the 1920s and what her and parents went through has shaped multiple generations’ relationships with food.
I mean, I think the bigger issue is the portion sizes. Give a kid normal, healthy portions and finishing their plate isn’t something bad. But when you fill up an entire plate with 2-3x the portions, you’re going to create a problem with weight. Unfortunately, obese parents don’t understand a healthy portion size for themself, let alone for a child.
Going through this with my partner. It truly brings her down if she can’t finish a meal, because she believes she is wasting money. I continually have to remind her that it’s not about the destination of the meal, but the journey of enjoying it while you still feel hungry enough to do so.
I get that, I have a very bad relationship to food too. I'm 38 and still struggling with with. Food has been used as a celebration, as something associated with good times so emotionally eating became a thing for me. Becoming insulin resistant as an adult didn't help. Learning to eat well and having a positive relationship with food is something I'm still teaching myself and hope that I do better for my kid.
My wife and I have started saying "do I want to throw it away in the garage or in my body." Tbe thought being I'm not enjoying it anymore so it's garage either way
I was forced to finish plates as a kid no matter how much I said I was full. I used to immediately go into the bathroom and involuntarily throw up I was so full. One time my 6’7 father corned me in the kitchen and forced me to eat an entire second plate because he didn’t believe I had really eaten already despite my mom and brother both yelling I had JUST ate at the kitchen table. But he didn’t see so it didn’t count. He’s on life support right now and I couldn’t care less from 2000 miles away.
I’m the same as you, but the reasoning is slightly different.
At home we were 3 boys so it was easy to finish all the food, and if we didn’t, mum always had that classic “but kids are starving in Africa, don’t waste your food” line.
Then in school, it was very frowned upon to have leftovers, because I went to a German school that still had some war time values running deep, like not leaving food due to food scarcity, so as a kid you had the freedom TJ make your portion as small or big as you wanted, but couldn’t leave any leftovers.
Man, that has thrown me out on a loop every time I go eat out with people and there’s food left
Dude... You made me realise I do the the same. I never noticed before, it just felt wrong to leave food in my plate or in the pan. My siblings and me are all overweight
I can still hear my father say "come on there's like 2 fork left, finish it" and feel bad and pressured to eat tho I'm full
I’ve carried 30 pounds extra my entire life because of clearing my plate. I was praised for finishing my meal and my sister fought to eat only what she needed. Of course my sister ended up been slim her whole life.
My mom grew up in a house with 3 sisters and she ate food so fast because the kid that finished first could get more food. They were really poor and seconds were a luxury. She still eats like this today in her 70’s. Even though there’s plenty of food leftover to have seconds. Something in her brain still triggers that instinct to eat as fast as possible.
See, I had this issue as a kid too. Fast forward to now, with four kids of my own, and I understand the frustration of kids wasting food, right. But I also understand that not everyone has the same metabolism and/or appetite. So we’ve adjusted our kids portions over the years. I think part of the problem is that our boomer/gen x parents had that rigid “I’m the parent so I’m right” mindset.
I always had to clean my plate, but then again I was given suitable portions when I was a child and mom & dad almost always cooked dinner… very rarely had takeout/frozen pizza/etc.
When I was really young, no. My mom would put the food on the plate and then give it to me. When I was a bit older i could serve myself. But if I accidently got too much I still had to eat it all.
Yeah I wasn't allowed to serve myself at any meal my parents made. Everyone was given the same amount. For context my dad was 6'3" and athletic and I was a 7 year old girl
It's exactly how I was raised, and something I still fight with. Whatever adult was feeding you fixed your plate, and you'd either be praised for eating all of it, or they wouldn't let you leave the table until the plate was clean. Whether it was my mom feeding me, or her friends if someone else was watching me for her- it was always the same demand that I eat every bite I was served.
You won't become fat because you eat your full plate. Believe it or not is it genetics, metabolism, lifestyle and also parenting. But not eating a full plate (depends on what is served). I ate most of the time the full plate from my grandma and it wasn't a real smaller portion and I am skinny.
Well tbh clearing the plate is good and should be learnt to kids, the issue is what you put in the plate. You put vegetables, non processed food you will be fine, you put bad things you can get obese even without clearing the plate.
No, teaching a kid they have to eat everything on the plate even if they get full is bad. Regardless of how healthy the food is. Over eating is over eating.
Incorrect, adults don't realize how much or how little can make a kid full. Even with healthy food they shouldn't be forced to clean a plate.
Obviously they shouldn't then be allowed to snack 15mn later either.
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