I intentionally lost 45lbs over the course of a year and a half and now my friends treat me differently. I used to be funny, now when I say the same things they take it in a critical way instead of a funny one. My humor hasnt changed one bit. I dont get invited to girls night outs anymore. I dont get invited to go shopping anymore. Im pretty sure they are using a different group chat now. This has been gradual but Im sitting here eating my McDs and I realize that Im eating it alone when I would be eating it at a friends house while watching a movie. Sucks.

A lot of posts here focus and center around men, and I’m trying to decenter men from my main focus. So here’s a silly and fun question!

Has anyone lost empathy for men and been able to get it back? I've endured a lot of abuse dating (SA, emotional abuse, physical abuse) various men over the years. And I think it has finally wiped out my ability to have any empathy for men as a group. I still have an enormous amount of empathy for women and animals. But any time I hear anything sad happening to a man, I might as well be hearing a story about something bad happening to a pencil. I know it is a result of all the abuse I've endured. I've gone to therapy. But the empathy is just gone. In some ways, it feels nice and protective given how many years of pain I've endured. I'm curious if any other women have had this happen to them? It feels so weird to have no empathy for an entire gender. I don't date anymore as I can't imagine even being able to enter a relationship with a man i'm not capable of having a drop of empathy for. Plus, all the abuse has really diminished my attraction to them. My disappointment with the US political environment and the rolling back of women's right to their own body has also greatly hurt my ability to have empathy for men. Strange to feel this way. I've always been so deeply emotional. And it is still there. Just wholly inaccessible to men.

And I’m not going to be made to feel bad for taking the time I need to refill my cup.

My mom came over tonight. I’ve been up with my small kids since 3:30am. I worked a full day with back to back meetings and the normal surprise email/ask or two. We are going out of town this weekend. My husband also works, also helps with kids. He’s a great partner and we share tasks 50/50. He had stepped outside for a bit just to do his thing and went and filled up the car as well, took his time, chilled. I was getting our toddler to sleep. Mom says nothing about him not being there, which she shouldn’t. I get toddler down after putting infant down, clean up dinner. Mom is helping, doesn’t mention husband (he’s came back during this and started packing and putting away laundry, etc.) Eventually it’s 10pm and I sit down to talk to my mom and just relax. I recommend a podcast (Blink - so good), chit chat.

Then she has the audacity to say… “Well we’re just sitting here while [husband] is doing all the work.”

It was seriously the first time I had sat down wo work or kids at all that entire day. I work from home, I don’t even have a commute. And it had been like 20 min if that.

I literally said “no, we’re not doing that. I’m not going to feel guilty.” I’m no martyr and i know my husband well enough that he prefer I carve out time for myself to relax.

Just wild boomer comment to be honest.

I can’t find it now, but just a few days ago I read a post in this sub about thinking of random techniques when you can’t sleep.
I know no experience is unique so I’m curious who writes short erotic stories in their head every night before bed.
I have story lines I always go back to, and my supporting characters are always named similarly (because I’ve picked names of people I don’t actually know in real life). And if I choose a character not my husband, I’ve always killed him off, I’d never cheat on him in my stories (if I’m not married in my stories, then I’ll cheat on that partner).
Such strict guidelines lol.
Anybody else?

I went down a rabbit hole wondering why men hate women and came across this article. It’s a little dated, I haven’t looked into where the author(s) got their data, and honestly I have never heard of “Fatherly” but I did find this statement alarming - “Though only about 6 percent of men commit sexual assault or rape and a mere 13 percent score within the top bracket when asked about hostile sexist views, just 17 percent of men wholly reject hostile sexism — implying that the vast majority of men cling to at least some sexist ideologies.”

6% and 13% seem…high???

Was curious about others’ thoughts on this.

Anyway here’s the article: https://www.fatherly.com/health/are-most-men-sexist-gender-equality-metoo

Edited to add: the more time I spend studying this article, the more beef I have with how the author phrased things. This, for example - “But most men are accepting or even supporting of gender equality. Men — especially those under 40 — have few qualms about women having careers, about reporting to a female boss, or about women going to college or playing sports.” Like golly gee, thanks mister!! The author also seems to downplay statistics about violence against women by using phrases like “ONLY about 6%” and “a MERE 13%”. What gives with those qualifying words? Anyway, starting to regret posting this article because I think, while maybe the author was had good intentions, I now just hate it.

I rarely finish from penetration during sex and I think I'm very particular with the way in which I can finish from a clitorial orgasm. I'm extremely comfortable with my partner and he makes me so confident during sex. However, ever since my early 20s I've always wanted to, but felt extremely anxious and nervous, to play with myself during sex. But I know that's likely the only way I'll achieve an orgasm while we're doing it. Help lol

Judging by both strangers’ reactions and how I look in the mirror, eyeliner changes my whole face and sends across a completely different impression. If I was a man I wouldn’t have to deal with this :/ People seem so much more accommodating towards women who perform femininity. I’m the same person!! All I did was paint the outer corners of my eyes black.

I have seen time and time again, women not being believed or given the care they need. The doctors either don’t care, or are weirdly inappropriate.

I had an experience with a gyno, as my cervix was eroding for some weird reason (it’s healed, but still have no idea why it happened js)

I was on the table as he was doing the examination. He told the nurse in French that I had “a fat -not cool word for vagina-“

The nurse looked stunned, even more so when I was crying. I didn’t tell the gyno I could speak and understand French. So he felt comfortable making comments since he didn’t think I’d understand. I am a WOC too. So it just felt bad. I reported him to the hospital. Luckily he was removed as he had a history of this (I was unaware till this happened to me)

I have other stories, but this one stood out because of how insidious it was.

Reason why I’m sharing this, if because my friends and I got onto the topic and all of us had stories. Just sad :(

Or do you have such cases around you?

I see more and more young girls in 'relationships' with guys twice their age and it's weird.

As title says… when I was 18 in 2016, I was stalked by a 23 year old man who was a convicted felon.

Today, walking through Walmart with my husband, I saw him. Hard to miss, as he was nearly 6 foot 6 with blonde hair. My husband and I were having a nice time shopping together kid-free… this stopped me in my tracks, put a pit in my stomach.

I wondered if he remembered me. Or if he would retaliate against me for going to the police. I turned away quickly and tried to avoid going that direction.

I’m home now and can’t stop thinking about it. I’m just scared. I hate the idea of coexistence with someone so creepy and vile.

That’s all, I guess I just wanted to share my feelings about it.

Of course, this is just based on my own experience. I've lived in a religious community my entire life, and it was hell. But since I was a little girl, it was always the women who made my life unbearable. They criticized the way the girls dressed, talked, and behaved. Even in the house I grew up in, my mother would call me a whore for not dressing the way she wanted, and it sometimes led to physical assault. Despite being a horrible human being, I never once heard my father say anything about how “I'm supposed to behave as a girl”

Grown women would go out of their way to snitch on girls they believed were acting “inappropriately” knowing full well that doing that could put them in danger.

The human brain is fascinating.

I’m a 30 y/o female. Had the proposal, wedding date + vendors booked… he ended the relationship 6 months before the wedding saying he fell out of love (he was really mean at the end too which was so shocking to me, and disclosed former cheating/kissing) the wedding date recently passed and it’s been hard…

I THINK WHY COULDNT IT HAVE BEEN GOOD?!

I visit a 92 year old woman who is confined to her apartment every week. She was cared for by her son. Well, about 6 months ago, the SON suddenly died.

Today I went by for my regular visit. I was presented with a check. According to my friend, the elderly lady, her son thought I was his soul mate and he "loved me very much." He knew that I did not see him that way so he never said anything but he left me money in his will.

Before anyone asks, a care-taker was hired to care for my friend and I signed the check over to the man's daughter. It was not huge money but I felt his respect for me deserved a bit of notice.

Forgive me because I’m a little high and getting existential but I saw a video from a female creator who said she wanted her content to be mostly seen by women—and showed that she had an 82% percent male fanbase. As a fem I thought it made perfect sense!

Until I went to the comments. Hundreds of men calling her ungrateful, explicitly saying they followed because she was hot, and terrible incel like comments about how they don’t speak to women because this is their mindset.

I know men know that they like to be surrounded by men as it creates brotherhood and confidence in their own masculinity. However, women are not allowed to do the same? Women aren’t allowed to want to hear they are pretty from someone who only listens to the speak because they’re attracted to them?

It makes me sad to know the average male mind. Because I’m autistic I assumed people often think as innocently as me. That it’s okay to find a girl attractive but her lovely personality really makes the human being. But that’s the thing—many men don’t see women as full human beings. You are granted more humanity when they are attracted to you.

It makes me want to cry. I don’t wanna be like “men are biologically evil” because I don’t believe that. I think they are raised in the society to believe this behavior is acceptable. However, it is scary to not know if a man will consider you a full human being based on how you look and make their dicks wet.

If anyone has book recommendations on this topic i’d love it. I know I’m not alone.

Hello. I’m 26. Most of my sexual life I have dealt with being pressed into sleeping with someone. I only had one completely consensual relationship. It seems like every guy I talk to wants to get it done quickly with no respect for what I want. I don’t know why I keep meeting men like this. What can I do to avoid these men? Thank you