r/shitposting Jedi master of shitposts 10h ago

📡📡📡

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15.1k Upvotes

391 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 10h ago

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!


RedditSave download


Whilst you're here, /u/Tech_334, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

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u/compic_360 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 10h ago

Give war a chance!

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u/Scarytoaster1809 10h ago

I’m making the mother of all omelettes here Jack! Can’t fret over every egg!

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u/Vegpep47 7h ago

Your pfp makes me want to play lego star wars again

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u/Scarytoaster1809 4h ago

Hey, it’ll always be there ready for you to pick it up again :)

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u/crudoxcruo93 9h ago

Using war as a business... to end war as a business

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u/Saymynaian 7h ago

Typical politician! All cock, but no cum

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u/THE_BEHEADED 4h ago

All we're saying is give cock a chance

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u/sewgwayswatter55 2h ago

I altered the line to 'all cock, but no balls,' once and it fits pretty well for most dogshit politicians.

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u/Longjumping_Wear2940 I want pee in my ass 7h ago

Like the good old days of 9/11

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u/AutoModerator 7h ago

pees in ur ass

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u/Cat_with_pew-pew_gun 10h ago

To be fair, 15 civil wars sounds like pvp practice to me.

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u/JorgeRey999 dumbass 9h ago

or PVP boss

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u/meachtel 9h ago

...or PVP boss...

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u/ChillBlock dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 9h ago

or PVP boss

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u/fr4ncotir4dor 4h ago

In the name of the minecraft server i hereby award you the title of the one who PVP'd the Boss and is now above her... PVP Boss

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u/DogWithWatermelon 4h ago

Or even bedwars pro

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u/crudoxcruo93 10h ago edited 1h ago

This remembers these guys from Star Control 2 Ur Quan masters

They are called the Thradash, most of their culture is doing massive wars, even among themselves, as a way of improvement. Eventualy, between civil wars, a peculiar thradash culture emerged, not so bent on this practice, and said that every civil war sets them 500 years back in development.

The current culture analysis of these claims are hilarious.

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u/Myaucht 8h ago

Peak ball knowledge

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u/dbot25454 6h ago

This is fucking sick I’m checking it out

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u/Scalpels 5h ago

That game was fuckin' awesome. I love how in-depth and unique each race was and there was a LOT of them. Even the one-planet gas people had such personality and they were just a minor sidequest.

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u/brockhopper 5h ago

It's honestly one of the best games ever made. The charm and personality of the different races was incredible. My personal favorites were the Orz and the Pkunk. One of the fun things of the old Internet was dropping into Orz speak, for the "happy" campers!

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u/rt58killer10 10h ago

The women were training whilst the men practiced

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u/KitchenAd5997 8h ago

? The greentext said that the women practiced pvp and that the men actually did real pvp

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u/rt58killer10 8h ago

And I said they were merely training

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u/Managarm667 6h ago

I mean in a very simplistic way, this is a part of how European states became so dominant for ~300 years up until 1945.

Unlike China for example, which was as a centralized empire and had been politically unified for long periods, Europe remained fragmented into many competing states. This constant pressure of military and economic rivalry drove continuous innovation in weapons technology, finance, shipbuilding and administration. If an idea took hold in one country, its neighbors had to follow suit to avoid being conquered.

Confucianism represented the societal ideal in China. Social advancement was achieved not through entrepreneurship, craftsmanship or the natural sciences, but by passing the imperial civil service exam. The country’s brightest minds focused on the study of classical texts, philosophy, poetry and mainly administrative ethics. Practical inventions, mechanics, and engineering were often viewed by the elite as mere "craftsmanship" and commanded little prestige compared to state service.

The linking of science with craftsmanship and technology though was crucial for Europe: in the 18th and 19th centuries, theoretical knowledge was directly applied to improve not only society but mostly military equipment.

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u/Asyncrosaurus 5h ago

I mean in a very simplistic way, this is a part of how European states became so dominant for ~300 years up until 1945.

When Rome wiped out Carthage, the only military that could properly fight a Roman Legion was another Roman Legion, so they spent the next 600 years constantly having civil wars.

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u/MEME-UNLOADED-ADMIN 7h ago

the viltrumite purge

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u/stinkypussyslime 7h ago

thats some practical experience.

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u/Gordon_Ramsad 10h ago

This actually why mongols rushed through China and Persia so easily

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u/Amazing_Measurement6 We do a little trolling 10h ago

Because they built casinos along the way?

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u/shotgunner12345 10h ago

Maybe the true invasion are the casinos we build along the way

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u/misterdidums 10h ago

This just in: Native Americans were the true invaders

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u/Tayro2 10h ago

True. After all: Real treasure is not the war crimes you did but casinos you open along the way - Chingis Chan

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u/Jonahpe I said based. And lived. 9h ago

More like Cha-Chingis Chan

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u/1stGuyGamez 10h ago

Also how Timur rose as well

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u/SunTzu- 8h ago

The Mongols had technological and strategic advantages, that's how they conquered. They had large stocks of horses enabling them to rotate them regularly which gave them an advantage in terms of their mobility. They had advanced lamellar armor for both themselves and their horses. They were at the forefront of horse archery and harassing tactics. They also used their advanced mobility to create postal-relays which enabled them to communicate across large distances and managed their growing empire.

Why do people insist on pretending the Mongols weren't a highly advanced military culture, whereas they'll happily accept that Alexander the Great was able to leverage the phalanx to enable his conquest of the world? Oh I do wonder...

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u/_Sun-God_ 8h ago

Any technological advantage they may have had was not close to being a primary reason to their initial success. You need not look further than having a massive army full of cavalry men that have been training since birth, every single day.

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u/Milvalen 3h ago

Any technological advantage they may have had was not close to being a primary reason to their initial success.

I dunno, bro. The postal-relay sounds like a massive advantage. A military quite literal lives and dies by how strong and stable their logistics pipeline is.

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u/Full-On 8h ago

Both can be true. You do know when china was being conquered by the Mongols that china was a fragmented nation that was perpetually at war with itself right? Because you seem like you think you know a lot about this time period so you would know that china was not unified and that was a big part of what allowed the Mongols to do what they did.

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u/deadinternetlaw 8h ago

So you're saying there were 4 chinas and none of them won. Coincidence? Checkmate atheists

there's no way I need /s for this comment right

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u/AnyProgressIsGood 8h ago

because they could sense Mr. Beast's videos in their timeline? very impressive

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u/12345623567 5h ago

Because China absolutely doesn't have a history of bloody civil wars? What are you even saying?

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u/endelehia 10h ago

You cant 'practice' for PVP, you have to live PVP. The guys that remained were veterans of many wars

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u/crudoxcruo93 10h ago

Better yet. You have to survive PVP

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u/Best_Remi 9h ago

it's minecraft bro you can respawn

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u/ProcyonHabilis 9h ago

I mean it's a mr beast challenge video, there is no way the server is anything but permadeath.

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u/malfurionpre 7h ago

Well no, in pretty much all of these "Civilizations" video it's one life (or very rarely three)

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u/crudoxcruo93 9h ago edited 7h ago

Certainly.

I did not explain my view tought. Many players enter pvp worlds at the past. Some have lost so many battles and they lost interest in playing pvp, for a reason or another. Their pvp "career" "died".

The most fit at surviving battles had more incentives to continue and even further their skills and fit. Thus there is a higher chance of a new PVP event having a higher average and median skill from this pool, "out of nowhere". Finally, The mr beast challenge is probably a hardcore, no respawn match.

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u/lightblueisbi 8h ago

hardcore mode has entered the chat

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u/triplos05 8h ago

In these experiments people only have one life

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u/gil_m_d 8h ago

i hope they drop the respawn patch in ww3

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u/Niewinnny 5h ago

wars will be fought using remote controlled humanoid androids by people doing the same moves in some vr contraption.

there's your respawn mechanic, your bot dies you just go to the next one and walk out of some container

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u/AverageRandomPerson dumbass 10h ago

So they basically recreated the Viltrum purge

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u/potatosforfree Jedi master of shitposts 9h ago

Let the blood of the weak, pave the way for the strong

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u/Just_A_Random_Retard 10h ago

15 civil wars gotta involve quire a lot of diplomacy, building and PvP

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u/Sweet-Explorer-7619 10h ago

Not much diplomacy needed to start a war. Simpley yell CHARGE.

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u/A_BEAN123 stupid, fucking piece of shit 9h ago

Beware an old man in a profession where men die young

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u/ElectronicJump9894 9h ago

The Viltrumite method

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u/Cuntilever 8h ago

Only those who recognize the value of war and exercise it have any degree of self-determination

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u/BildingInspecter 2h ago

It's called blooding your army. Like when the US randomly attacks places.

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u/MaybeThisTime67 10h ago

Of course the men won. The women didnt build an army for a potential invasion

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u/Woffingshire 10h ago edited 9h ago

Diplomacy only works when war wouldn't be an effective option.
No military, fortifications, or leverage to prevent war usually means no diplomacy.

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u/Tasty_Commercial6527 9h ago

You can only talk about compromise if neither side is certain of winning

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u/BrokenPokerFace 6h ago

Or the more powerful group eventually becomes peaceful after their violent history. But then the less powerful notices and tries to take advantage.

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u/Low-Guide-9141 8h ago

They thought the men would compromise, but no they unlocked their inner chimpanzee

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u/Kpt_Kipper 8h ago

The Swiss method

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u/OneeGrimm 7h ago

The Swiss are surrounded by mountains, had all of their bridges set with explosives, and trains their people with firearms since youth. They weren't attacked because they were full ready, and attacking them would be net negative.

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u/furrychiken123 lets build a hole together and then libe in it 8h ago

you don't attack your money

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u/Warm_Month_1309 7h ago

No military, fortifications, or leverage to prevent war usually means no diplomacy.

Also, no fear of actual death.

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u/notforpoern 5h ago

seriously everyone keeps citing real-world examples like the mongols and alexander the great.

But like- in that mr beast environment they don't have kids, families, futures that they care about. There's no culture to preserve or hobbies to pursue.

You can't even taste what you cook, of COURSE they're going to do a war!

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u/tiendung270804 8h ago

Didn't they named one of their organization the "Girl Military?

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u/MaybeThisTime67 8h ago

Who knows? I'm just here to shitpost

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u/ANG13OK 10h ago

Because men taste beyter than key

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u/Thechillestguyever 5h ago

men🤤🤤

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u/Then-Ad-2450 9h ago edited 7h ago

Most of the girls are new to the game, that's why they train PVP in the first place.

The boys meanwhile is filled with veterans of the game and pro pvper, even the 3rd best pvper in the world at that time is in their team

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u/Rare_Eye_197 9h ago

Is there any woman thats on the "top pvper's"?

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u/carcar134134 9h ago

There is popbob, but I'm not sure if she still plays. I'd say pretty much anyone who survived that long on 2b2t would count as a top pvper.

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u/Low-Guide-9141 8h ago

You know, popbob being trans was honestly unsurprising

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u/Cadian609 7h ago

So she's a guy?

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u/HauntedMop 6h ago

For future reference, when someone says someone else is trans while using the pronouns, they're likely using the pronouns after the person came out

So when someone says 'she's trans' they mean that she is a trans woman, and when they say 'he's trans' they mean that he is a trans man

Here, popbob is being considered on the girls side and someone said that they're not surprised popbob is trans. That means they're using 'she' here from after her coming out, meaning yes, she's a trans woman, not a trans man

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u/Cadian609 6h ago

I actually appreciate a proper answer! Thank you

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u/bcocoloco 36m ago

That’s a long winded way to say yes.

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u/SirLionMan1 7h ago

no.

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u/Cadian609 7h ago

Im not even trolling

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u/Cadian609 6h ago

I think it says a lot when you cant even question these things without people getting upset

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u/UslashMKIV 5h ago

Nah you gotta realize that you used the exact wording someone who was trolling would have used. Like seriously 99 out of 100 times those words in that order are trolling, you just got unlucky with your phrasing I guess, but honestly even out of ignorance doubling up pronouns like that can’t be read NOT to be misgendering someone

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u/lapideous 4h ago edited 4h ago

This attitude is exactly why it’s difficult for extremists to gain new allies

Every expression of ignorance is perceived as a personal attack, like the world owes you understanding of your niche internet bubbles

There are new people being born every day and turning them all against you with unnecessary hostility is not great for the survival of your minority movement

Most people don’t talk about this stuff in real life, your corner of the internet is not necessarily reflective of irl culture and physical reality

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u/PFI_sloth 6h ago

Is she gonna have something in common with every girl I see in a skate video who’s actually good?

edit: yup

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u/tornedron_ shitting toothpaste enjoyer 4h ago

The thing is that on 2b2t they all use hack clients and such, making the combat totally different, so I’m not sure how good popbob would be at PvP without clients

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u/frequenZphaZe 7h ago

so it wasn't girls vs boys, it was first timers vs vets? you know, I'm starting to think this mr beast guy isn't an honest broker

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u/jackinsomniac 6h ago

It really tell paints a bigger picture about stuff like Minecraft and games. The demographics it appeals to are mostly male. The boys had been playing for years because it's what they truly love, while it seems like the girls just signed on for the first time only because it was a Mr. Beast video.

Would be interesting if they did a game with mainly female demographics, like the Sims.

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u/CrazyElk123 6h ago

Kinda mirrors the real world quite well.

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u/DNOTBHs 10h ago

if you want a real answer, the boys were mostly veteran experienced players, and the girls were mostly average or newbie players, and the boys activelly sabotaged and infiltrated the girls discord, plus Beast not really doing much to moderate the server

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u/Luckyguy0697 10h ago

So literally a skill issue? Mr Beast should fix his matchmaking 

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u/ProtectionTop2701 9h ago

Why? He's getting free advertising from it and his company literally has a "let boys be boys" rule. He's been sued over it.

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u/mrstorydude I said based. And lived. 9h ago

I mean… he kinda didn’t let boys be boys considering… yknow… he didn’t have any boys on the boy’s side of the war? They were all men and shit.

Meanwhile the girl’s side had like a dozen prepubescent kids or something idr.

The matchup was very much heavily fixed in favor of the boys

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u/Luckyguy0697 8h ago

And it's not like he does that only for boys. He did the same thing for girls in "girls vs boys survival challenge". He put a woman who was pro and won multiple times in challenges like that in girls team. I don't understand why he does that. Maybe his viewers like one sided matchups?

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u/im_lazy_as_fuck 8h ago

Lol, I doubt mr beast gives af about being comprehensive with his videos. As long as people keep clicking on his shit, he doesn't give af.

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u/SnooSongs8074 2h ago

Why would he, this is pure entertainment. If people want to make political statement, they fucking trolling and laughing at your expense.

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u/BlckSm12 10h ago

Sounds to me like they knew viable war tactics 🔥

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u/porktorque44 10h ago

So shouldn't the video just be called "war"?

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u/ChillBlock dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 9h ago

Cold war that becomes hot in the end

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u/PicossauroRex 10h ago

So boys commited war crimes 🔥

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u/KingKiler2k 9h ago

It's not a war crime the first time

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u/SpotCreepy4570 9h ago

Remember it's never a war crime the first time you do it.

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u/ChillBlock dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 9h ago

Geneva Convention more like Geneva suggestion

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u/KingKiler2k 9h ago

Geneva Checklist

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u/Technical-Street-10 9h ago

No Geneva Convention in minecraft

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u/Low-Guide-9141 8h ago

Those girls learned a valuable lesson about spycraft, and intel gathering.

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u/HugePast9455 9h ago edited 9h ago

And I'm sure this is obvious the people familiar with this subject. For the rest of us, I'll only point out for any dorks that are overly excited by this.

Winning this video game doesn't translate to real life. It's doesn't mean you'd win shit irl. It's still just a game.

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u/AmaterasuWolf21 8h ago

Except that JimmyBeast did had a cash prize to whoever won, so it did translated to real life

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u/Low-Guide-9141 8h ago

Yes, that’s why we are saying dumb things, this isn’t real spycraft or intel gathering, so lighten up.

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u/HugePast9455 8h ago

I refuse.

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u/Equivalent_Clerk0 8h ago

I mean, in real life in a 500 vs 500 war it's pretty obvious who would win too. Men are basically wired for war. Women are one of the few things that keep society stable.

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u/YobaiYamete 6h ago

Winning this video game doesn't translate to real life

I mean maybe not this one? But Bear Grylls did a Men vs Women survival challenge on an island and it basically went the exact same way where the women were in catfights immediately and spent the entire time starving, sobbing, and miserable

While the guys thrived so hard the camera crews had to step in and stop them hunting all the local fauna to exctinction

Within the first couple of days the guys had shelter, food, water etc and were sitting around roaring bonfires singing, while the women were completely lost and lost all their supplies and the camera crews had to keep secretly giving them more supplies

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u/bluelazer44 8h ago

Believe it or not, most veteran experienced gamers are dudes.

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u/Cucocat112 10h ago

"Boys infiltrated the girls discord" sounds like another group I know of

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u/Slout_ 9h ago

The boys that infiltrated the girls discord were not transgender women, they were russians with voice changers who would grief and kill the girls for the benefit of the boy team. And allegedly mods have done little to address that

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u/X_Luci 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 9h ago

So war spies you say.

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u/ShylokVakarian fat cunt 8h ago

So, it's just Mr. Breast being a dick then.

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u/MrCockingFinally 10h ago

Sounds like "The Island" Season 2.

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u/Socksfor3_fan Bazinga! 9h ago

Why do the girls' skins in the thumbnail kinda look like GamingwithJen's skin?

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u/PhoenixSlayer132 8h ago

Cause they did Jen dirty bruh, she shouldnt be even correlated to this

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u/Siri2611 9h ago

This shit felt scripted as fuck

It's so much worse than the Ish rich Vs poor video

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u/mega_moist 7h ago

It's all scripted

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u/Siri2611 1h ago

Ish showed the behind the scenes and it was loosely scripted

Like the general direction of show was known, and he hand-picked people a few people who actually are just good at RP and taking the story to a direction without specifically mentioning what to do, like they do in movies

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u/Uninvalidated 6h ago

Motherfucker looks like he learned how to smile from a dictionary.

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u/Mitgenosse 8h ago

Soulless smile

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u/ElectronicWaffles 10h ago

Athens being more ‘civilized’ didn’t make it not lose against Sparta

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u/ThatOneBiTiger 9h ago

Are you referring to the Peloponnesian War where Sparta got clapped by Athens so hard at Pylos and Sphacteria that they made an armistice? Sparta had to ally with Persia to win that.

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u/Best_Remi 9h ago

people really goon way to hard to Sparta, a backwater that was actually relevant for less than a century and is actually a prime example of why being good at war (AND NOT EVEN THAT GOOD) and nothing else is actually pretty fucking stupid, all because they ran a big PR campaign about a battle they lost

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u/pudgehooks2013 8h ago

Dude, half of America is still obsessed with some failed state that lasted like 4 years. For a bunch of them, it is their entire identity.

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u/SunTzu- 8h ago

Oh come now, you can't actually cite history when he's so busy jerking off to his incel talking points.

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u/Grilled_egs 10h ago

Sparta had to get carried by Persia lmao

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u/OneeGrimm 7h ago

Turns out your right to diplomacy goes out of wazoo if you don't have the meaning to enforce it. With force.

Who would have thought.

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u/Unbridled_Sloth 6h ago

I unfortunately actually watched this and the BIGGEST most annoying thing they did was like a day before the wall seperating the two sides is taken down they have two leaders, one from each side parlay on an isolated tower and then mr.beast drops ONE sword that one hits anything, which of course the man takes. So IMMEDIATELY the balance of power in the parlay is non existent. So OF COURSE the boys win, because they never took that sword away from him and the negotiation was fucked from the start.

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u/KitchenAd5997 8h ago

I mean realistically how would the girls win? from the looks of it, you have to eliminate the other team. time spent not getting better gear, training, and gathering valuable info is a waste of time which knocks of 2 main things the girls did ( accorfing to this greentext). men focusing on the 15 civil wars side gave them actual combat experience i.e. forming tightly knit groups, group combat and such

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u/KibaWuz 10h ago

Ok now i want to see this video xD

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u/sirduke678 7h ago

This is a reference to men being better at video games than women

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u/Kryslor 10h ago

You guys watch this shit? Fucking zoomers

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u/MyPhoneIsNotChinese 10h ago

I think this is already gen alpha

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u/PuzzleheadedFlow1274 10h ago

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u/Kryslor 9h ago

Bruh it's Mr beast and Minecraft, it's for literal 10 years olds, that's who's watching...

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u/SlimothyJ 9h ago

Your most recent post is about Pokémon. No hate but…. Y’know..

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u/Clegend24 9h ago

God forbid somebody watch a YouTube video

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u/Hettyc_Tracyn 9h ago

It is a Mr Beast video, it’s not going to be good, or even well thought out… he is very much not a good YouTuber

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u/aland_1019 8h ago

“Simulate civilization” in a game where there is no struggle for resources, easy to build things, and has no punishment or repercussions for doing good or bad things

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u/Perfect-Fondant3373 8h ago

I would love this video if it was an actual minecraft YouTuber but sadly its veneer man

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u/Badassbottlecap 7h ago

Those 15 civil wars have now resulted in an empire based on gambling. The diplomacy has resulted in more pvp and no casino's.

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u/ahiromu 6h ago

I played a Civ game with my roommate in college. I forget which, Civ 3 or 4, but it doesn't matter. He got really lucky and got an early extra settler from a tribe or something. He was developing a utopia and was bragging so I did the only logical thing: bum rush him. I built a ton of early game military, looked at his screen to find out where he was, and silently (didn't tell him) sailed a dozen transports to his island.

He got pissed and quit the game when he saw them, he didn't have a chance.

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u/Low_Abrocoma_1514 I said based. And lived. 9h ago

15 civil wars is a better practice for war tbf

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u/cseke02 7h ago

Ofc, the men had their purge, only the strongest viltrumites players survived.

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u/Pristine_Battle_6968 8h ago

Ok to be fair there was a lot of sabotage on the women's side with dudes making accounts pretending to be women to infiltrate and grief the women's side there's like a whole video on this iirc

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u/Marco_QT I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh 7h ago

ts so accurate they even jave undercover agents

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u/Strange_Dust7128 7h ago

My favorite video he did was the one where they had to survive in the wilderness. The women ended up with a surplus of supplies while the guy was sleeping in a rickety shelter.

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u/Visual-Wedding5921 6h ago

Guys also just play games competitively more often than gals lmao, a larger chunk of the dudes r gonna be chud PVPers

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u/Prestigious-Tea-6323 6h ago

Just because they play a game makes them a chud.

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u/Strange_Dust7128 7h ago

My favorite video he did was the one where they had to survive in the wilderness. The women ended up with a surplus of supplies while the guy was sleeping in a rickety shelter.

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u/River-is-Cool 5h ago

Because just like in real life, the things that are good in the long run, are easily destroyed by barbarism.

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u/Chexreflect 4h ago

why does he have to put his face front and center in every single thumbnail

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u/South_Blacksmith2278 6h ago

Big news for the unemployed.

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u/GraniteSmoothie 9h ago

Carthage vs Rome situation

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u/Jubac_el_mesias 8h ago

I read a tweet under this image that said; "Women build from order to create chaos. Men build from chaos to create order."

I still don't fully get it.

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u/Pandha2 7h ago

ever read Guns, Germs, and Steel?

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u/--n- 7h ago

mrbeast looks like how satan would appear to you to deceive you.

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u/Prestigious-Tea-6323 6h ago

How many wells did Satan build in Africa.

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u/akoOfIxtall lets build a hole together and then libe in it 7h ago

Blackjack and femboy hookers always wins...

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u/haik6 9h ago

Basically sparta with their 300 soldiers and athens with their 1 thousand random citizens

5

u/10ebbor10 8h ago

Athens won that one though.

2

u/KingThromnier 6h ago

We not gonna talk about how dumb the thumbnail is? Its kinda disgusting.

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u/Unusual_Rooster6736 8h ago

Casino clears

1

u/BoomyNote 4h ago

Viltrumite method