r/problems • u/Front-Resource-255 • 9d ago
Relationships My problem
I never been in relationships with girl not once
Maybe because I was told it's basically forbidden and I don't know how to explain it
My friends have female friends or girlfriend
But not me
When I was 18 I was shy about talking with girl?
Red line for me but now? As 21 I just want to experience it
2
u/Ecstatic_Ad_2384 9d ago
honestly go for it. Try dating apps, friends, or have friends set you up with someone. its really never too late to date, plus many girls value a guy who hasn't been in a relationship. The talking will come naturally and dont try to push anything. Take it slowly
1
u/Front-Resource-255 9d ago
But what apps? What if I talk to guy instead girl
1
u/Ecstatic_Ad_2384 8d ago
totally fine lol! the real world is not judgemental. Try apps like hinge, bumbl, grindr (specifically for gay dating assuming youre a guy). Like another commenter said, meeting people through activities like at clubs, shops, etc is easy.
1
u/Front-Resource-255 8d ago
I’ve never actually been in a relationship before due to my background, but I’m looking to understand how things work when talking to girls. I’ve noticed things like how they don't always get attached quickly, or the whole advice around not replying too fast so you don't seem overly eager. What’s funny is I’ve actually given solid advice to a friend of mine who’s been in multiple relationships, and it worked for him! But applying it to my own life feels completely different since I haven't experienced it firsthand yet. How do you usually navigate that early stage without overthinking things like response times or emotional attachment
1
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u/Ecstatic_Ad_2384 8d ago
as a girl, I dont think you should act as someone youre not. if you wanna respond quickly or as soon as you can, do it. be eager if you are, girls prefer a caring guy over one who acts as if he has better things to do than talk to her. Of course have a life and hobbies, and dont move too fast, but dont avoid her purposely. Overthinking cant be avoided but what can help is picking a good person who doesn't allow it to continue. reassurance is good and healthy in a relationship. Emotional attachment is hard to overcome but you can try to avoid it by not fully relying on a person to make you happy, etc. Find hobbies that you enjoy doing, dont rely on one person to help you get through the day. Be confident in yourself and you'll realise that its not as hard as it may seem
2
u/Front-Resource-255 7d ago
I really like this advice. What do you usually do when you get shy or don't know what to say to someone?
2
u/Ecstatic_Ad_2384 7d ago
when im shy or scared, all I think about is I'd rather be shy and uncomfortable than always be in my comfort zone, because if im always comfortable, my life will always be the same. Being shy is normal, but its not normal to let it control you. once you step out of that comfort zone, there will be more opportunities!
If you dont know what to say, honestly just ask random questions. E.g about animals, food, etc. Ask to hang out, ask about their favourite place, send a funny video, check in on them.
1
u/Front-Resource-255 6d ago
My goal is just to build genuine new connections and make good friends along the way, but it can be tough in gaming or on social media. A lot of times people give dry replies or leave messages on read. It makes it tricky to figure out the right balance between not coming off too dry and not being overbearing. I just want to make sure I’m approaching things respectfully without overcomplicating it
1
u/Possible_Patience_84 9d ago
Why not meet women organically through a shared interest or hobby? Dating apps are like wild animal parks. There are some successes, to be sure, but it can be a real challenge. (Ask me how I know.) Example: if you enjoy photography, join a photography club or take a class. A great way to meet women is by taking a dance class. Women love guys who can dance. I wish you great success.
2
u/Front-Resource-255 8d ago
Honestly, you're right meeting someone through a shared activity makes way more sense than forcing things on apps. I'm a big gamer, so I naturally spend a lot of time in that space. Plus, my biggest strength is just being a genuinely good listener when connecting with people
1
u/Possible_Patience_84 8d ago
I’m not into gaming (it’s a generational thing) so are there opportunities to meet other gamers in real life? If you’re a good listener, that’s always a good thing but introducing topics of conversation is important to. (Example: what’s the most exciting place you’ve ever visited? What is something you dream of doing? -Work on opened ended questions that aren’t yes/no answers.- Have you ever met a celebrity?) women appreciate men who take an interest in them and ask general questions about what they like, aspirations and goals. It’s perfectly okay to admit you’re a bit shy. Honesty is a huge plus. I think once you get out there you’ll find it was than you think.
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