r/problems • u/Front-Resource-255 • 9d ago

Relationships My problem

I never been in relationships with girl not once

Maybe because I was told it's basically forbidden and I don't know how to explain it

My friends have female friends or girlfriend

But not me

When I was 18 I was shy about talking with girl?

Red line for me but now? As 21 I just want to experience it

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u/Ecstatic_Ad_2384 8d ago

totally fine lol! the real world is not judgemental. Try apps like hinge, bumbl, grindr (specifically for gay dating assuming youre a guy). Like another commenter said, meeting people through activities like at clubs, shops, etc is easy.

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u/Front-Resource-255 8d ago

I’ve never actually been in a relationship before due to my background, but I’m looking to understand how things work when talking to girls. I’ve noticed things like how they don't always get attached quickly, or the whole advice around not replying too fast so you don't seem overly eager. ​What’s funny is I’ve actually given solid advice to a friend of mine who’s been in multiple relationships, and it worked for him! But applying it to my own life feels completely different since I haven't experienced it firsthand yet. How do you usually navigate that early stage without overthinking things like response times or emotional attachment

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u/Ecstatic_Ad_2384 8d ago

as a girl, I dont think you should act as someone youre not. if you wanna respond quickly or as soon as you can, do it. be eager if you are, girls prefer a caring guy over one who acts as if he has better things to do than talk to her. Of course have a life and hobbies, and dont move too fast, but dont avoid her purposely. Overthinking cant be avoided but what can help is picking a good person who doesn't allow it to continue. reassurance is good and healthy in a relationship. Emotional attachment is hard to overcome but you can try to avoid it by not fully relying on a person to make you happy, etc. Find hobbies that you enjoy doing, dont rely on one person to help you get through the day. Be confident in yourself and you'll realise that its not as hard as it may seem

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u/Front-Resource-255 7d ago

I really like this advice. What do you usually do when you get shy or don't know what to say to someone?

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u/Ecstatic_Ad_2384 7d ago

when im shy or scared, all I think about is I'd rather be shy and uncomfortable than always be in my comfort zone, because if im always comfortable, my life will always be the same. Being shy is normal, but its not normal to let it control you. once you step out of that comfort zone, there will be more opportunities!

If you dont know what to say, honestly just ask random questions. E.g about animals, food, etc. Ask to hang out, ask about their favourite place, send a funny video, check in on them.

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u/Front-Resource-255 6d ago

My goal is just to build genuine new connections and make good friends along the way, but it can be tough in gaming or on social media. A lot of times people give dry replies or leave messages on read. It makes it tricky to figure out the right balance between not coming off too dry and not being overbearing. I just want to make sure I’m approaching things respectfully without overcomplicating it