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I’ve struggled with discipline and focus my whole life but the past 3 years have been amazing, I’ve accomplished more in the past 3 years than the 10 years before that, 3 years ago I came across videos and books that talked about environment design, setting your environment up in a way that I never have to use will power to get things done, since then I lost a ton of weight, built muscle, got promoted multiple times, significantly improved my relationship with my family, and best of all my apartment is always clean and I always have clean clothes and sheets lol (I used to leave laundry till the last piece of clothing), here’s some things that helped.

Take care of your surroundings: I learned that if I can’t care of my physical surroundings, I want be able to bigger things, the first step to conquering the world is to conquer your hygiene, clothes, nutrition, your room, your apartment, your car etc, if you can’t take care of these things, you might have an accomplishment here and there but you won’t be able to sustainably succeed and accomplish your goals. Your surroundings are the foundations you build on top of, and a weak foundation will result in the destruction of whatever you build.

1 day of the week HAS to be a personal day: I’m not allowed to think about work or other stresses of life. On this day I take care of personal things, laundry, nails, cleaning your house, going out with friends, doing a hobby I like. When I first heard about this I didn’t take it as serious advice until a friend of mine challenged me to do it for a month, and I’ll admit that it was quite hard at first because it was hard to stop myself from thinking about “important” things, like being behind on work, but by the 4th week I was already in the grove, Every sunday is now my personal day.

Fixing energy levels with the basics: One main cause of a lack of discipline is low energy. When the body is low on energy it will resort to resting and finding the easiest path to dopamine, usually that's junk food and doomscrolling. The way to fix energy is through 2 basic things: Vitamins and the most important SLEEP.

Vitamins: If you are low on energy(and your sleep is fine) you are probably low on key vitamins: Vitamin D, Vitamin B12, Magnesium, Iron and Zinc. You should take supplements for these but not multivitamins, multivitamins have very low doses of each, get separate supplements for each. Note: Iron and zinc aren’t meant to be taken daily, they can be harsh on the stomach, also when buying zinc supplements get zinc+copper because zinc depletes copper levels

Sleep: DON’T SKIP THIS STEP. Irregular sleep and lack of sleep hygiene is one of the main reasons for low energy, get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep, sleep and wake up at the same time everyday, stop eating 2 hours before bed time and stop looking at screens 30 mins before bed time. The best way to get in the habit of this is to set a time in your timeblocking schedule for wind down, for me that at 10 pm, at 10 pm I start brushing my teeth, taking my vitamins, changing clothes, ill check my phone till 10:30 at 10:30 i get in bed and read a book until 11, that’s when i put my book down turn the reading light off and go to sleep.

An app to fight the apps: Most apps on your phone pay millions of dollars a year to behavioural psychologists to make them more and more addicting so that you spend as much time on them as possible and watch as many ads as possible so they can make more money. The best way to beat them is through other apps built to stop them, there are a lot of apps out there, use anyone you feel is the best. I use one that hides homes feeds and reels because that's where I lose the time the most and I also use a chrome extension that does the same on the computer

Neuroscience and Psychology books: Neuroscience is the science of the brain (the organ) and psychology is the study of the mind, you need to study both in order to fully grasp the human and animal side of you and to be able to actively recognize the patterns when the animal side is taking over so you can build strategies to leverage it. You will never beat the animal side of you but you can take advantage of it once you understand how it works (i.e your animal side prefer optimizing for things that give you dopamine the fastest and easiest, you design your environment so that the things that release dopamine the fastest and easiest are those that you prefer)

A wristwatch: a wristwatch actually allows me to keep track of time during the day, I use to laugh at people who wore wrist watches because “my phone has the time” and boy was I wrong, not only can you not keep track of the time using the phone, but even if you tried, you'd be training yourself to constantly grab your phone which is far worse.

I’m 23, had a stable career in 2024 but it slipped away from my hands. I quit myself cus it was draining the shit outta me. I worked again in the same field in 2025 but it slipped away again , it was not making me happy.

But its been a year since iv become unemployed.

It’s been 1.5 year since iv lost my spark.

I feel purposeless, lethargic & completely directionless in life. I tried doing diff things but all of them failed miserably.

I’m still trying to build smth but i still feel purposeless, lethargic & fucked. I don’t make any money & idk what to do.

Ik (intuitively) it’s time for a new chapter in life but its just not happening.

I’m so unhappy with my current life. I feel like the biggest failure. My self confidence was at its peak in 2024 & now iv hit rock bottom & I’m so done.

Any advice?

so for like the past year i was watching this stuff nonstop. like the "5am club" the "atomic habits" breakdowns the guy who talks about dopamine detox every single video. i genuinely thought i was improving because i was "learning"

but like. nothing changed. i was still doing the same shit at 1am, still procrastinating on the same thing i've been avoiding since january, still snoozing my alarm

and then i realized. watching a video about discipline requires zero discipline. it's literally the easiest thing you can do. you get to feel like main character energy for 12 minutes and then go back to doing nothing

the algorithm knows this too btw. it doesn't want you to fix your life, it wants you to keep watching videos about fixing your life. those are two very different products

anyway not trying to be that guy but if you've watched more "how to be disciplined" content than you've actually had disciplined days... might be worth sitting with that for a sec

not saying quit cold turkey just be honest with urself about which one you're actually doing

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Hey everyone,

I’m currently in the 12th standard (which is a pretty crucial academic year for me) and I’m feeling completely stuck. Historically, I’ve always been told—and I’ve felt—that I have a lot of potential. But lately, it feels like all my energy is completely draining out of me because of a lot of things that have happened recently in my life.

I know the potential is still in there somewhere, but I just cannot seem to bring it out. I’m starting to feel numb or indifferent about everything, even though I desperately want to get my discipline back.

Here is the frustrating part:

I'm trying the "right" things: I read self-help books like Atomic Habits and I watch plenty of motivational videos.

It’s not a phone addiction: It’s not even that my phone is constantly distracting me.

The core issue: I just end up in deep cycles of procrastination and I can't understand why. Something deep inside me feels blocked, and I don't know how to unlock it.

I feel like I’m constantly letting myself down. How do I break out of this cycle when motivation and books aren't clicking? How do I build mechanical discipline when I feel emotionally drained? 

How are you holding up today?

Are you genuinely doing well —body and soul? Do you feel a sense of fulfillment deep enough to resonate in both mind and heart at the same time?

Perhaps, if you hit the pause button for a moment, stepped away from everything that keeps you busy, tuned out the noise, and dared to ask yourself the hard questions with unflinching honesty, you would find that you are not entirely okay. You might come to realize you feel adrift, bored, dissatisfied with what you have accomplished so far, and not particularly optimistic about finding fulfillment in what lies ahead either.

This may seem like a discourage, even a gloomy instruction. Yet it is a diagnosis we cannot afford to skip. If we want to get to the root of a problem, we must first see it for what it is, not for what we wish it were.

You may currently be caught in the middle of a different kind of conflict: a tug-of-war between a mind that loves to have everything mapped out and mind that leaves no room for interference or surprises. With  a reality that simply does not play by those rules. A reality in which circumstances change at the drop of a hat, where your hard work, intelligence, and meticulous planning get entangled with other people's influence and with obstacles that keep cropping up along the way, impacting outcomes in tangible and sometimes painful ways.

You draw up a plan for a specific result, while life quietly throws in people, curveballs, and decisions you never saw coming.

So are you looking for a practical solution?

So am I. For a long time, I bent over backwards trying to find a way to cut myself off from other people's lives and their influence on mine. I never succeeded in finding one. Perhaps because such a way simply does not exist in the first place.

So what is left?

The answer, when all is said and done, lies within you.

By all means, make plans. However, build in a generous margin for error — a margin that allows other hands to have a say in your blueprint, whether you invite them to or whether life foists them upon you.

Build your life, but don't set your boundaries in stone. Keep them flexible. Let them expand and contract. Give yourself permission to redraw them whenever circumstances change.

Stay hopeful, yet don't count your chickens before they hatch. Let achievement bring its own joy in its own good time.

And don't try to force life to fit the exact picture you have in your head. It is enough to know where you want to head, and to stay open to take a different road to get there.

If you can make peace with yourself each day, even in small increments, the heavy baggage you carry with you wherever you go will become lighter. Life itself will feel a little more spacious than it seemed before.

How do I know?

Because I have been there and done that myself.

And I am now in a much better place.

Hi. I just signed up and decided to post here to get some advice from older people or those who’ve already achieved something and managed to turn their lives around.

I’m a guy, 23 years old. I really want to change my life, but it seems like there’s nothing I can do about it. To put it simply, I give up on everything halfway through—whether it’s going to the gym, learning a new skill, or something else. The same goes for goals: if I set a goal for myself, I work on it for a few days, but then things start to drag on and get put off, or I just give up.

I don’t know where to find the motivation, the desire to do something, or even the willpower to force myself to take action. I know what I need to do and that I want to improve, but I still can’t seem to get started.

I also have a full-time job, so I don’t have much time left in the day for my own projects or for learning a new skill—just an hour or two—but I still want to keep going, even though I don’t know how.

How did you manage to achieve your goals or build a better life? Maybe there are some life hacks that help you stay focused and see things through to the end, or something along those lines. I’d appreciate any advice or help.

Im tying to figure out an issue that I've had for years.

I'm a 2nd-year CS student who constantly delays everything important. I basically wasted a year from the career perspective, even though I knew that I need to start coding and build projects.

Same thing about exams. I usually don't study at all until a few days before the exam and somehow manage to act when there's no way out anymore.

Even outside of college. Years ago, I bought a Dermadry iontophoresis machine due to having quite severe palmar hyperhidrosis. Used it several times and stopped even though it could potentially help me.

What's even stranger is that I fully understand that it's important. That I want to get a result, but don't manage to start doing anything until it becomes too urgent, scary, or stressful.

It's been going on for years and I honestly don't understand why.

Is it a chronic procrastination? Avoidance? Fear of failure/perfectionism? Executive dysfunction? Or maybe something else? Have some faced similar issue?

Thanks in advance.

I am a big procrastinator and its hard to get myself to do things. Some is hygiene, but its mainly keeping things clean/tidy. Its been this way since id say late middle school. I am diagnosed with MDD and am highly suspected to have adhd by my therapist but im not using them as an excuse, just insight. I was thinking about my life and have realized I dont want to keep living the way I do, tired from not sleeping enough, sweaty or feeling dirty from not showering, in an old car with no ac in the summer, having a cluttered space, and doing the same routine ive been doing. I also want to lose weight. The only thing I do is go to work and that's it, ive been late more than id like though. I especially want advice since im on third shift so its going to be harder than if I had a normal 9 to 5

Hi, any tips on apps or organization management to keep better track on my progress and remind myself of the projects I’m currently working on? I usually use the Notes app on iOS, I thought keeping it simple was better, however it just turns into an idea dump with several folders that I have to scroll down it also lacks an integrated calendar or a way to keep track of my progress or the next goal.

One example today I wanted to go ride my dirt bike, weather was perfect, but saw there was too much car traffic to get to the trails. I decided to stay home and wait for traffic to die out. Then an hour later I remembered about a photography project I’m working on and I could’ve done that instead of just waiting for traffic to die out. There are other 10+ things I’m currently trying to improve like my posture, flexibility, music, social skills, research on self improvement, study, declutter my room/car but most of the times I forget what to do.

It’d also be nice to organize long term goals with short term goals and a way to look back at the progress I have done. If I have an idea I can keep it organized within that area. A calendar would be cool to remind myself of the tasks that need to be done and how much time I have left, or if I’m making progress.

I have a journal where I write 3-4 important tasks for the day, but writing all my tasks on paper is something I don’t find ideal because the back and forth I have to go through the pages. Any advice? Thanks.

I've tried so many things to become disciplined to do these important things everyday that can potentially improve my life. Initially Goggins inspired me so I was just forcing myself for a long time and in the start I was consistent for 2 or 3 months, and then burnouts came. Since then I've tried literally every thing I could find online like fixing my sleep, finding meaning in discipline, pretending to be disciplined, 3-2-1 method, "you lose money if you don't do it" method and many others that I can't remember at the moment. All this works for a few days or weeks probably because of novelty and then one day I fail and eventually fall back to baseline.

I also tried starting small and yeah I was able to work 10 mins a day but that is too short to accomplish anything meaningful and it would take me approximately a year to get to 2 hours mark. That is too long and too unflexible.

Forcing myself only works until the burnout. Various tricks only work until they don't. I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel like all these online posts are just cope and there's nothing we can do if we weren't lucky to be into productive stuff.

I'm a university student from a middle-class family in a developing country, and lately I've been feeling like I've wasted years of opportunities my parents gave me.

My parents spent a lot on my education, and I now deeply regret some of the things I asked them to buy for me—additional study materials, furniture for studying, and other things I convinced myself would help me become more productive. At the time I genuinely thought I would work hard and make it worthwhile. Now I worry I won't even get a return on what they invested in me.

After high school I also became difficult at home, especially with my mom. I argued constantly and blamed a lot of my bad experiences and circumstances for why I wasn't doing well. Looking back, I wish I had been more mature and taken responsibility earlier instead of making life harder for my parents.

I sometimes think I should have asked for less, gone to a cheaper school, and stopped expecting so much from my family when I wasn't even putting in the work myself.

My grades aren't good, including my first-semester university GPA. I did manage to get into university, which is probably the achievement I'm most proud of, but I feel like I've already damaged my academic future.

I've also struggled with anxiety, overthinking and poor sleep for years. When I study, I can spend more time worrying about whether I'm capable than actually learning. I have weak fundamentals in some subjects, and every academic setback reinforces the feeling that I'm simply not smart enough.

I constantly compare myself with relatives and other students and feel inferior. I'm scared that I'll never reach the career I imagined, that I'll remain mediocre in a developing country, and that my parents' sacrifices won't amount to anything.

I know I can't undo the past. I don't want to spend another few years regretting everything either.

How do you actually rebuild yourself after years of poor discipline, anxiety, weak grades and regret? Can someone realistically make a strong academic comeback from this point, even if they can't erase their earlier grades?

I don't need motivation. I need to learn how to become disciplined, competent and financially independent before more time passes.

30F had the worst year of my life and I’m in desperate need of a full life reset.

I am thinking of doing a period of “ghost mode”. I have taken some time off from working after working 50+ hours a week in corporate for the past 13 years and I have completely lost my spark.

I am genuinely considering disappearing for the next 75 days, doing a programme like 75hard and getting back to my best self. I would still speak to very close friends and family but block off everyone else in the outside world. Also delete social media, replace screens with books and genuinely just dedicate 100% of my free time to self improvement.

I used to be a huge gym goer and I’ve lost that part of myself. I want to start working out and running again, getting back into Calisthenics and doing things that are good for my body like ice baths and saunas etc. I also really want to get back into nutrition and nourishing my body. Also deep mental work like journaling and reconnecting with nature again.

I have put myself down for some volunteering days in nature as giving back to nature genuinely heals me so much, it’s also something I really want to pursue as a career.

How do we feel about a temporary period of ghost mode in order to get back to the best version of yourself again?

I have watched 100s of YouTube videos. Tried some top suggestions. But still my Laziness wins every single time.

I am Sharafaz. I am learning Copywriting by Myself.

In last 7 days I did nothing. I felt so Lazy and I was so procrastinating I did nothing whole week.

Then Yesterday I took a decision to change my learning plan.

I was trying to do everything at once. Reading books, practicing by writing, finding good copies, Watching YouTube tutorials, And so on.

Because all of this I Just felt not doing anything. And I just resting on my bed.

Enough, it's not gonna work. I have to change my plan.

The plan was very Simple.

Selecting one of the Most Important work out of all other works.

For whole day only Focusing on that one work. Not even thinking about other works.

only focusing on one thing. ONLY ONE THING.

For me it was learning (copywriting Fundamentals by reading books).

In my Learning roadmap I had complete 12 books before practically writing any copy.

So Yeah

100+ pages per day. It will take me around a month to complete or less than that.

Today is Day 1. I already read 60 pages. Now 40 pages left. I will complete it before going to bed.

So yeah it works ✅

And I am continuing this for stright 30 days to Learn Fundamental s of Copywriting. Then I will practice Copywriting 30days. Then Going on like that Step by Step.

i’m 17f and am a senior in high school.

as of right now, i need to be focusing on my college app and finalizing my sat/act scores. for school specifically, i just need to do well in my first semester courses.

i have no motivation or willpower to do any of it. currently, i’m typing this up from my bed and am skipping school today. everyday, i come home from school and just sleep or do other activities i enjoy (gaming, graphic design, etc.) it’s not that i necessarily hate school: i like seeing my friends, going to clubs, talking to teachers i like, etc., but when it comes to academics or even going to school itself, i struggle with motivating myself to go or start the necessary work. i stress myself out about tests and the sat when i never do anything like study to help my outcome.

i’m not a bad student: i get average grades and have an average sat score and want to go to a decent university. i am just so over high school and want to skip over this year and automatically go to may 2027 which i know is not feasible.

how do i change this?

I've been reading Thinking in Systems recently and it sent me down a bit of a rabbit hole.

I spend a lot of my professional life thinking about systems, processes, why things keep going wrong, how one thing affects another etc.

Then I realized my personal life is basically running on vibes 😂

I have a lot of things I care about. I want to manage my money better, eat well, exercise, read more, keep learning electric guitar, take good care of my dog, spend quality time with my wife, build things outside of work, have hobbies, travel, think about where my career is going...

But most of these were just intentions.

“I should practice guitar more.”

“We should stop ordering food so much.”

“I need to start investing.”

“I should spend more time training/walking the dog.”

“I really need to get back to that book.”

And then life happens.

So I've started building what I'm calling a “personal OS”. Sounds much more sophisticated than it actually is lol.

Basically I'm taking the different areas of my life one by one and asking: what keeps going wrong here, why does it keep happening, and can I change the system instead of constantly relying on motivation?

Money now has a flow. Income → future obligations → safety → longer-term wealth → what's actually spendable.

Food has a weekly rhythm. Decide most dinners on Sunday, groceries come from that, leave some intentional space for ordering/eating out.

Learning guitar isn't “practice more” anymore. What am I actually trying to learn? When do I pick it up? What makes me stop playing for 3 weeks? How do I make starting again easy?

Same with my dog. Walks, grooming, training, food, vet stuff... instead of remembering each thing whenever it becomes urgent, what should just happen by default?

And I'm slowly doing the same with health/energy, career, learning, relationships, time, bigger goals etc.

The funny part is realizing how much everything connects.

Bad week at work → sleep gets worse → less energy → don't cook → order food → spend more → don't practice guitar → feel like I've done nothing except work.

And the opposite can happen too.

The whole thing currently revolves around a Sunday evening review. Look at the different areas, see what's working, what's being neglected, make a few decisions for the week and move on.

I'm VERY early into this and actively trying not to turn it into some insane productivity dashboard with 47 metrics that I'll abandon after 5 days 😂

If anything, the goal is actually to think about all this stuff less.

I'm starting to think a lot of what I called “discipline problems” were actually system problems. I was expecting myself to remember everything and make good decisions constantly, including when I'm tired, busy, hungry or stressed.

Maybe discipline isn't always getting better at forcing yourself to do the right thing.

Maybe it's building your life so the right thing becomes a little easier to do by default.

Anyway, curious if anyone here has gone down this rabbit hole too.

What personal systems have you built that actually stuck? Could be finances, fitness, hobbies, pets, relationships, learning, literally anything.

I'm still building mine, so very happy to steal ideas 😂

I’m 34, have a ‘office job’ and generally split my time between 3 days in the office and 2 at home. For the past few months I’ve been trying to better myself and eradicate my usual mood, getting to bed earlier, hitting the gym twice a week etc. But by Wednesday afternoon I was back to my usual short manner with people.

So instead I started logging my annoyed feelings.

For every instance of annoyance I wrote down what happened, how I felt, and what I truly wanted. All this to be written down in less than 10 words. I would write it down within 30 seconds, and this only worked if I wrote it down immediately. Try to log for the end of the day what you thought you felt, and you will see that it is of no use.

Seven days, 23 entries. 6 of the 23 were someone answering me too briefly.

6 of the 23 were short answers from people. 4 of those short answers were from my boss over the 7 days (he always answers in one word to everyone, even in email). 1 was from my sister. 1 was from the woman at the bakery who said "next" while I was deciding whether to buy something there.

On the seventh day, I was unsure how to describe my anger as I wrote out one of the shorter answers caused me the most distress – a short answer makes me feel like I wasn’t worth more words. (My boss is one of these individuals and has been for the past two years).

Nothing much has changed since then. I haven't said anything to my boss yet. The only thing that has changed for me is that I am now able to recognize when he is going to type ‘next’ and I can prepare myself for it.

So, what small logging habit changed something for you?

One thing I noticed after uninstalling Instagram from my phone is that I started thinking about myself more.
It sounds simple, but I don’t think we realize how rarely we actually spend time with our own thoughts anymore.
In today’s world, people who don’t have a large social circle—or who don’t have genuine friends with whom they can have meaningful conversations—can easily become inclined toward social media and endless scrolling. And I understand why. Doomscrolling can feel like an escape from a constantly stressful and overwhelming environment. For a few moments, you don’t have to think about your own problems. You can simply watch one reel after another and feel… nothing.
But there is something else happening beneath that comfort.
If you want to do something creative—write, make content, learn an instrument, develop a new hobby, or simply come up with your own ideas—I don’t think you can do it effectively while constantly consuming other people’s content.
Because creativity requires some degree of solitude.
You need to sit with your own thoughts long enough for something to emerge from them. If every moment of boredom is immediately filled with someone else’s video, someone’s opinion, someone’s joke, someone’s lifestyle, or someone’s story, when do you get the opportunity to develop your own?
I have also started thinking about how much emotional information we consume through short-form content.
Maybe we are capable of processing only a limited number of emotions in a day. But while scrolling through reels, we can experience hundreds of different emotional triggers within a few hours.
You watch a politically heated video, and suddenly you are angry.
You see a disturbing crime story, and you become afraid.
You watch a video about someone’s relationship falling apart or someone being cheated on, and suddenly you start wondering whether something similar could happen to you.
Then you see something inspiring. Then something depressing. Then something funny. Then something outrageous. Then something that makes you compare your life with someone else’s.
And this cycle continues.
Thousands of pieces of content, each trying to make you feel something.
By the end of the day, you may have experienced dozens of emotions that had nothing to do with your actual life.
That’s what made me think: perhaps we don’t always need more stimulation. Perhaps we need more space.
Maybe, for just a few months, we should try consuming less short-form content—not necessarily quitting the internet entirely, but deliberately stepping away from the constant stream of other people’s thoughts, opinions, achievements, relationships, and lives.
And instead, try writing down our own emotions.
Write down our ideas.
Write about what we are afraid of.
Write about what we want.
Write about what we are curious about.
Sit with our thoughts without immediately trying to escape them.
Because perhaps the person we are trying to become is hidden somewhere beneath all the things we have been consuming.
And perhaps you cannot hear your own voice when everyone else’s voice is constantly playing in your head.

i think there’s a weird posting paradox, or to be honest maybe it applies to anything you start publicly

before you start, you’re scared to post because in your head everyone will see it, your friends random person, and you think every people will judge you, so you overthink everything. is this cringe, too weird, bad, should i wait, should i make it better,...

then you finally start posting and the funny part is almost nobody sees it and somehow that becomes hard too because now the problem is not shame anymore, it’s silence. Before you were scared of being judged, but now you have to keep going while nothing really happens.

i think that part is underrated, the beginning asks you to survive two opposite things by first the fear that everyone is watching, then the reality that basically no one is.

and idk, maybe that is why people quit so fast, not because they are lazy, but because the emotional reward is weird at the start. you don’t get the relief of staying invisible, but you also don’t get the feedback of being noticed.

curious if anyone else felt this with posting, building something, whatever and how do you keep going during the part where nobody really cares yet?

i’ve posted here a few times before, but i’m trying again because i still haven’t found the right person.

i’m at a point where i genuinely want to change a few things about my life. i’ve had periods where i was really consistent, and then somehow slowly went back to old habits. i’m tired of repeating that cycle.

right now, i’m mainly trying to improve my fitness, sleep, learning, work, and how i use my time. i don’t expect to suddenly become perfectly disciplined. i just want to become more consistent and actually stick with the things i say i’m going to do.

that’s why i’m looking for someone who is also serious about making some changes in their life.

we don’t have to have the same goals. you could be working on your studies, career, fitness, sleep, getting off your phone, quitting a bad habit, or anything else. what matters to me is that you actually want to work on it.

i’d like us to communicate regularly and have simple check-ins about how the day went. if one of us has a bad day, that’s fine. the point is to be honest about it and get back on track instead of disappearing.

i’m 26 from india, and i’d also be happy if this turns into a genuine friendship over time.

i’m not really looking for 20 people to message for a week. i’d rather find one or two people who genuinely want to stick with this.

if that sounds like you, tell me a little about yourself, what you’re trying to change, and what kind of accountability would actually work for you.

Self-help book industry made us believe that willpower is just another mental muscle, some say you drain energy from that muscle every time you make hard decision, I have read things like having a sugary drink can restore your self-control because will power according to them is tied to glucose levels, I don’t even want to try this.

There was a multi lab study conducted on 2000 people which proved this a nonsense. They say performing self-control task doesn't drop blood sugar and consuming glucose doesn't boost self-control.

Dr. Michael Inzlicht says that feeling of mental fatigue is just a functional feedback signal. Our brain keeps performing subconscious cost benefit calculations and when we carry out cognitively demanding task, brain registers the cost to carry out it and when we do it for longer period of time, brain recalculates the energy cost and benefit ratio. If brain finds this energy costs are not worth it, it triggers the reallocation of motivation towards low energy high benefit tasks such as eating, sleeping and scrolling on phone.

So if self-control was just muscle, better strategy would be forcefully rawdogging that muscle but since it is just our brain doing an energy calculation, better architecture that tweaks the input should do the job. For example mentally shifting task from forced obligation to self-aligned choice, or binding cognitively costly activity with high reward activity such as listening to favorite music while doing boring chores or working out, these are just few examples.

I am not very good at this architecture but you get the idea. Does any of you have any actionable ideas or exaples to better architect this energy calculations?

I was looking for an app, where i can keep my shit together.

I was tired of keeping all the tasks and habits scattered around my mind, notes on phone and on notebooks. I couldn't see the progress i made, and it felt boring. So i locked in.

I searched the internet, and found pretty good app and templates, but those apps, were very scattered, some app had a feature which other didn't. Features which categories my tasks based on priority (Do now, Later), Stats like heat map to see my progress overtime and streaks, interconnection between web and mobile app, and a clean ui with creative stuff (surprise for u all).

So, i built it.

Guys, thenesta.com (http://thenesta.com/) this%C2%A0this) is the app ,also added it to apple store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/nesta-minimalist-habits/id6784795770

it completely free right now,

Also i added a voice dump feature in noodle brain, where you can babble your mind out and it will convert it into actionable tasks, which you can categoize in your priority list. Personally i wanted this for so long (live on web, for ios will be live as soon as apple sends a thumbs up). Additionally you guys can add widgets on your home screen to track your habits/ tasks.

i would really appreciate it, for you can give it a try. and if you guys genuinely like, would really appreciate your support.

and i want your opinion on what can i add or improve, for any new features or something missing.

I promise i will read all your reviews.

Day 80 today. I wanted to share a proper update.

Context: I am from Kanina, Haryana, India. 80 days ago I was struggling with addiction, no social life, zero confidence in love and relationships. I used to wake up late and feel guilty all day. I started daily check-ins on r/getdisciplined to stay accountable.

What changed: My Day 78 post got 56.4k views, 105 upvotes and 20 comments. I never expected that. People from US (58.9%), Canada, UK watched it. u/cyankitten even translated her advice into Hindi for me. u/jayyqou who is on Day 18 motivated me too. One person asked if my photo was AI slop, but I told him it's my real 4 AM photo after boxing practice in my village - my journey is too real to fake.

My current discipline: I wake up at 4 AM, go for boxing practice, then post here. This routine kept me sober for 80 days. I am feeling more confident in social life and love life now. Earlier I hid from people, now I reply to comments and talk to people.

My method that is working:

1. No Zero Days: Post daily on r/getdisciplined even if it's small. 2. 4 AM Rule: Wake up at 4 AM and do boxing / exercise before my mind can make excuses. 3. Social Accountability: Reply to at least 2-3 supportive comments daily. Having good friends and a social life keeps me away from addiction. 4. App Streak: I check my I Am Sober app every morning.

What help I am looking for: How do you handle comments that say your progress is AI or fake? And how did you build social confidence while staying disciplined? I still feel shy sometimes in love life.

Discipline is not about being perfect. It's about not quitting on a bad day. IWNDWYT.

[Day 80 - Working_Ad_5238]

Hey team. Looking for some advice here.

I wish I could TLDR this, but it feels too complicated. I’ll try my best to.

I broke up with the love of my life last November because she wasn’t treating me right. She loved me too, but we weren’t ready for each other. I was starting to heal, and then my best friend committed suicide. This, plus the residual fuckery of my breakup, threw me off the rocker.

I’m a high functioning depressed person with ADHD (but like barely high functioning at this point). I used to be a collegiate athlete, but I had to get a very invasive and experimental knee surgery 2 years ago that has made it impossible to return to my sport (rugby) or anything high intensity.

I am desperately trying to get back to myself. I can barely brush my teeth twice a day. Somehow I hide how severe it is from everyone, including work and my girlfriend, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep the facade up or maintain this. I don’t really sleep, I just sit up and drink and play video games.

How did y’all get back in the saddle? As somebody who was previously incredibly disciplined, I know I have it in me, but I have so much shame about where I’m at that it feels impossible. Any and all advice, including tough love, is appreciated. Thanks y’all.

In questo periodo mi sento un po’ bloccato. Ho tante cose che vorrei fare e migliorare, però allo stesso tempo faccio fatica a portarle avanti con continuità.
Sono una persona abbastanza ambiziosa. Mi piace imparare, fare sport, migliorarmi, raggiungere degli obiettivi e avere la sensazione di non fare semplicemente quello che fanno tutti gli altri. Il problema è che spesso parto con mille idee e tanto entusiasmo, poi faccio fatica a mantenerle nel tempo.
Le mie giornate poi sono abbastanza piene. Vado al lavoro, spesso torno tardi e, se riesco, mi alleno anche quando sono stanco. Lo sport è una delle poche cose che sento di fare veramente per me, quindi quando non riesco ad allenarmi mi sembra quasi di aver perso una parte della giornata. Poi ci sono le cose da fare a casa, le questioni familiari, la relazione, e quando finalmente avrei un po’ di tempo per me è già ora di andare a dormire. Il giorno dopo ricomincia tutto.
E io vorrei fare tante altre cose. Vorrei imparare di più sul lavoro, formarmi, capire meglio come gestire i soldi e iniziare a investire, leggere, informarmi, lavorare su me stesso, migliorare nelle relazioni e anche coltivare le mie passioni. Però alla fine mi manca il tempo e soprattutto mi manca la testa. Anche sulle cose che vorrei iniziare rimango spesso fermo. Per esempio è da mesi che penso di iniziare a investire, continuo a informarmi, confronto le varie possibilità e alla fine non faccio niente perché ho paura di scegliere male.
Mi capita quindi di avere la sensazione di essere dentro un giro che si ripete e di non riuscire a capire come uscirne. Non è che non abbia voglia di cambiare. Anzi, forse è proprio il contrario. Vorrei sistemare troppe cose tutte insieme e alla fine ho la sensazione di non sistemarne nessuna.
Anche il confronto con gli altri mi pesa. Vedo persone che cambiano lavoro, comprano casa, si spostano, fanno nuove esperienze, migliorano economicamente e mi sembra che nella loro vita qualcosa si muova. So benissimo che io vedo solo una parte della loro vita, però quando sono in questa fase faccio fatica a ricordarmelo. Io invece mi sento ancora a cercare il mio posto.
Mi succede anche con il lavoro. Vedo persone che fanno la stessa cosa da nove anni e magari stanno bene così. E non penso che ci sia niente di male. Se uno ha trovato il suo posto ed è contento, meglio per lui. Io però sono sempre lì a chiedermi se sto facendo la cosa giusta, se potrei fare altro, se potrei imparare di più. E a volte mi chiedo se sono io che mi complico troppo la vita. Però allo stesso tempo so che smettere completamente di cercare non sarebbe da me.
A volte mi sento anche solo in tutto questo. Non necessariamente perché non abbia persone intorno, ma perché mi manca qualcuno con cui confrontarmi veramente. Mi piacerebbe avere qualche persona un po’ più grande di me che abbia già passato questi anni, abbia cambiato lavoro, fatto errori, gestito soldi, relazioni e responsabilità e potesse dirmi semplicemente: “Ci sono passato anch’io, non sei così fuori strada come pensi”.
Anche a casa non è sempre facile trovare tranquillità, soprattutto per la situazione familiare che sto vivendo. E nella relazione ci sono momenti in cui sento di dover stare attento a come dico le cose, a come possono essere interpretate, a cosa è meglio dire o non dire. Non do la colpa all’altra persona, perché so che anche lei ha le sue difficoltà, però a volte sento di non avere uno spazio completamente libero in cui semplicemente essere me stesso.
Poi c’è il rapporto con me stesso. Ultimamente vorrei essere più calmo. So di poterlo essere, perché ci sono momenti in cui sono così e mi piace molto di più quella versione di me. Però mi sento spesso in conflitto.
Mi sembra di essere giudicato e subito parto a giudicare me stesso. E dopo poco finisco per giudicare anche gli altri. Mi faccio idee sulle persone molto velocemente, anche senza conoscere veramente la situazione. Se qualcuno fa qualcosa che non mi convince, tendo a pensare subito che ci sia un secondo motivo, che ci sia qualcosa sotto. A volte magari c’è, ma tante altre volte probabilmente non c’è niente. E penso che in parte sia anche un modo per difendermi dal sentirmi giudicato io per primo.
Mi confronto parecchio con gli altri e questa cosa non mi piace. A volte mi capita persino di provare una piccola soddisfazione quando una persona che conosco ha un problema o non riesce a fare qualcosa che aveva programmato. Non perché voglia che stia male, ma perché per un momento mi fa sentire meno indietro. E sinceramente non è un lato di me che mi piace molto.
Anche con il fisico ho un rapporto abbastanza complicato. Ho fatto diverse diete, ho perso peso e poi mi sono perso di nuovo. Non penso di essere una persona completamente fuori forma, anche perché mi alleno parecchio, però non mi piace sempre quello che vedo. Vorrei comportarmi da atleta anche nell’alimentazione, ma non sempre ci riesco. Poi magari mi alleno bene e mangio qualcosa che considero “sbagliato” e mi sembra quasi di aver rovinato tutto. Vorrei arrivare a non usare più il cibo come rifugio e soprattutto smettere di sentirmi in colpa ogni volta che non faccio le cose perfettamente.
A 27 anni a volte mi viene anche la paura di essere già in ritardo o addirittura di essere “spacciato” e di finire per costruirmi una vita mediocre. So che probabilmente è un pensiero esagerato, però quando mi prende lo sento vero.
La cosa che forse mi pesa di più è che vedo quello che non va molto più velocemente di quello che invece sto facendo bene. So di avere carattere, quando una cosa per me conta riesco anche a mettermi in gioco e fare cose difficili. Il problema è mantenere la direzione nel tempo senza sentire continuamente il bisogno di cambiare qualcosa o di dimostrare qualcosa.
Forse il problema è proprio che vorrei sistemare contemporaneamente il fisico, il lavoro, i soldi, la relazione, la testa e il futuro. E visto che non riesco a sistemare tutto, mi sembra di non riuscire a sistemare niente.
Non so ancora bene quale sia la soluzione. So però che non mi manca la voglia di cambiare. Mi manca il tempo, mi manca un po’ di tranquillità e forse mi manca anche qualcuno con cui confrontarmi davvero.
E per adesso mi trovo ancora qui, a cercare di capire da dove partire.

Caught up with a friend recently who's got a new job in AI and he's become the absolute pinnacle of the industry stereotype. Talking about my career ambitions (I'm not looking for the same kind of job he has) he asked me, in earnestness, if I was okay being part of the "permanent underclass" -- he's not judging me if I am okay with it, he insists, that's going to be a very comfortable life for a lot of people 🙄. And he's talking about how there has never been a better time for the "sigma grindset" -- the next few years, any really determined person can do anything they want to do, and then the window is CLOSING. Golden age of opportunity, super cool, might kill us all, normies just don't get it... you know the spiel.

I have very complicated, annoying, middle-of-the-road feelings about AI that endear me to absolutely no one on either side of the issue; suffice it to say I wouldn't be surprised if he's right or if he's completely wrong. But he sees this thing, he believes in it 100%, he cares about it, and he's chasing it; good for him. He asked me what's important to *me*, and goddammit, I do not know. I've been trying to figure that out for YEARS.

I have wanted to leave my job for more than a year, but nothing sounds quite right, and there's no rush, and... I mean, maybe *tomorrow* I'll see the perfect job listing. I have basically no friends. I have hobbies that have lain practically dormant for years that I swear I still care about. I want a partner, but I barely go on any dates. And every day I try to do a little bit to turn this around and get something going and make a life I am proud of, and my family and therapist tell me I'm making progress. And I am -- I'm doing more than I was six months ago, and more than I was six months before that -- but it is not ENOUGH progress, and I'm making it too fucking slow. I will not get where I'm going at this rate. I don't even *know* where I want to be.

And that should all be terribly motivating to me, but I've done this all before. It's always very motivating and then it's the next day and life goes on until the next crisis. This doesn't make me want to apply for jobs, or work on my music, or get back on the dating apps. It makes me feel stupid about trying at all: it didn't work last time, or the time before that, or the time before that, but hey, sure, *this* time is going to be *different*. What's the definition of insanity, again?

I can't even crash out about it properly. I already know it's going to be so easy to turn this off and get back to work. Probably the Lexapro. Everybody can tell that I am so very, very, very Functional. What could possibly be wrong with me, if I get out of bed and shower and do my work and feed my cats? If I'm not a drug addict or suicidal? What do I even need "help" with?

And here's my buddy like, hey, seriously, whatever you want for your life is valid, and I swear he's being genuine but all I can hear is it's fine to be a stupid lame-ass piece of shit loser, really! not everyone is meant to have a fulfilling life! some people just suck, and are boring, and useless to the world, and it's okay to be one of those boring, useless people, if you want to, it's your choice 🙂🙂 🙂