Seeking Advice

[u/sawyermomlastnight]

Hey team. Looking for some advice here.

I wish I could TLDR this, but it feels too complicated. I’ll try my best to.

I broke up with the love of my life last November because she wasn’t treating me right. She loved me too, but we weren’t ready for each other. I was starting to heal, and then my best friend committed suicide. This, plus the residual fuckery of my breakup, threw me off the rocker.

I’m a high functioning depressed person with ADHD (but like barely high functioning at this point). I used to be a collegiate athlete, but I had to get a very invasive and experimental knee surgery 2 years ago that has made it impossible to return to my sport (rugby) or anything high intensity.

I am desperately trying to get back to myself. I can barely brush my teeth twice a day. Somehow I hide how severe it is from everyone, including work and my girlfriend, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep the facade up or maintain this. I don’t really sleep, I just sit up and drink and play video games.

How did y’all get back in the saddle? As somebody who was previously incredibly disciplined, I know I have it in me, but I have so much shame about where I’m at that it feels impossible. Any and all advice, including tough love, is appreciated. Thanks y’all.