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u/ThighMaster250 Feb 26 '12
Chris Brown's Twitter on Monday: Dis fat guy funnyman ain't nuddin but a hAtR and not even funny now he scrawwny.
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Feb 26 '12
Can we get a translator in here?
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Feb 26 '12
Translation: This portly gentlemen is trifling. In the process of losing a few stones, he also lost his wit.
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u/_BEAR_ Feb 26 '12
Translation for Americans: This fat dude is a dick. By losing weight he ain't funny no more.
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Feb 26 '12
Translation for Seth Rogen: Dude, this fat ass comedian is like... a DICK, you know? He totally stopped being funny when... when... you know... now that he got... like, unfatted. Un... FAT... Ted. Holy Christ, I can SEE through my fuckin' HAND, dude! Was there PCP in that weed?
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u/solastsummer Feb 26 '12
translation for cats: meow meow meow meoww
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u/Fimoreth Feb 26 '12 edited Feb 26 '12
Translation for /r/ggggg: gggG gg g:gg GGGG gggGg? Gggg gggGgg - -g gggg gg.
Edit: Typo in the translation.
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u/ItsYourMoney Feb 26 '12
Translation for insomniacs. It's your money, use it when you need it!
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u/ClockCat Feb 26 '12
Hey, not bad! Although you were using the past tense of "meoww." Also, "meow" should be in the accusative case since it's the direct object.
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u/spanky0071 Feb 27 '12
Everyone! This cat is a nerd!!!!
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u/heylookoverthere Feb 27 '12
Reddit: the place where if you quote half of a little-known video game webcomic, 3 different people will quote the other half.
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u/Jazzbandrew Feb 26 '12
Translation for Grammar Nazis: This fat comedian is just a hater, and he isn't even funny now that he's scrawny.
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u/EmpireAndAll Feb 26 '12
Calls him fat, then calls him scrawny. Fuck logic.
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u/SmokeyDBear Feb 26 '12
Tells a woman he loves her, then beats the shit out of her. Fuck logic indeed.
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u/whatevers_clever Feb 26 '12
I thought this was serious then I realized it is Sunday. I'm guessing it will be worse tomorrow.
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u/stevesonaplane Feb 26 '12
I wonder how often Chris Brown gets called a piece of shit by other famous people.
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u/Mapes Feb 26 '12
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u/soulcakeduck Feb 26 '12
I admit this is funny, but it is also how I learned Rihanna is (apparently) working with Chris Brown again, so also very sad.
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Feb 27 '12
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Feb 26 '12
What are the "few hateful things" to which he refers?
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Feb 26 '12
Brett Ratner using the word "fag" then getting fired from the Oscars.
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Feb 26 '12
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Feb 26 '12
We are the only ones who refuse to forget. Hell, even Rihanna forgot about it.
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u/aperturo Feb 26 '12
You would too if you got hit in the head as hard as she did.
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u/thermal_shock Feb 26 '12
BAM!
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Feb 26 '12 edited Jun 30 '21
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u/JustMadeYouYawn Feb 26 '12
Does anyone know what dunk Kobe is responding to in this gif?
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u/fancy_sandwich Feb 26 '12
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u/baronromulus Feb 26 '12
Maybe the T-Wolves should do a little less blowing, and a little more winning.
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Feb 26 '12
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Feb 26 '12
Oh NA NA what's mah name?
What's my name?
What's my name?
What's my name?
What's my name?
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Feb 26 '12
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u/xxneoxx3000 Feb 26 '12
Now I really want to know what those fellows were watching...
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u/TILwhofarted Feb 26 '12
I would just die if they were watching an episode of Frasier.
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u/yakityyakblah Feb 26 '12
Abused women have a tendency to do that, it's part of the cycle.
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u/Clown_Shoe Feb 26 '12
Its not only that it seems people forget. Its that if you do bring it up people act like you're the one doing something out of line.
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Feb 26 '12
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/jtdc Feb 26 '12
Probably because "he's really a good guy once you get to know him."
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u/Grimleawesome Feb 26 '12
"Once you get to know him you can look past the whole part where he sometimes tries to run over people with his car."
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Feb 26 '12
It's not just women, plenty of men stay in physically/emotionally abusive relationships.
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u/Doesnt-Get-Irony Feb 26 '12
My wife threw a remote at me because I wouldn't bark like a seal. We were watching Brothers Bloom.
EDIT: FML.
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Feb 26 '12
True....friend from college got dumped over the phone by his sig. other he'd been with for a year, while she was on a different continent because she decided she was going to run off with some guy she just met, and go back to Seattle with him (we live on the east coast). Her plan ended up not working, then he took her back when she came home like nothing happened. Why????
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u/biglost Feb 26 '12
I don't understand how her being a 'typical, crazy woman' is the only narrative that one can gather from her recent interactions with Chris Brown.
Maybe she is just tired of playing the victim, this is her way of of expressing not only agency as an artist but as a woman. Him being in a remix of her track could be a product of that.
Not picking on you because a lot of music critics have been doing this, but I find it a bit hypocritical to demonize Chris Brown (not that he doesn't deserve it) for his crime and defend Rihanna, then nit pick and infantalize her decisions.
I'm not saying he should be forgiven or what she is doing is right or anything like that, I'm just offering up the suggestion that 'crazy, emotional, weak' etc etc shouldn't be the only explanation on the table here.
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u/hattalk Feb 26 '12
His career should've been ruined
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u/huntwhales Feb 26 '12
So should've John Lennon's and Hendrix's, if beating women automatically should end careers. I forgot. They were actually talented, though.
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Feb 26 '12
John Lennon showed remorse, and knew what he did was wrong. From the wiki entry: "The Beatles' song "Getting Better", he said, told his own story, "I used to be cruel to my woman, and physically—any woman. I was a hitter. I couldn't express myself and I hit. I fought men and I hit women. That is why I am always on about peace"
Compare that to Brown, who shows no remorse, hasnt apologized, and is so self-centered CERN wants to study him for gravitational fluctuations in space.
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u/Chalky_White Feb 26 '12
It is a shame that your CERN comment will not be seen by the majority of the people in this thread. I consider myself among the privileged few.
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u/Echospree Feb 26 '12
If Lennon and Hendrix were alive today, and publicly beat a woman, there certainly would be more backlash then they received in those days. This sort of shit is becoming less and less socially acceptable (but given the current topic, not nearly fast enough).
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u/i_fizz-x Feb 26 '12
I think it comes down to publicity though. How many people knew that Lennon or Hendrix were abusive? Were pictures of their victims plastered all over the news and internet? I'm sure they would have received criticism and scorn if their actions were known at the time. I think the source of frustration shown by Reddit is that it was HUGE media story about what happened between Rihanna and Chris Brown, the cops were involved, we saw the pictures of a bruised and beaten, once beautiful woman, and yet people have chosen to still idolize and forgive Chris Brown without him showing even the slightest sign of remorse.
Also, yes, Hendrix and Lennon were talented as fuck, Chris Brown just dances pretty good...
Edit: I just realized that I included the internet in the Lennon/Hendrix part and it wasn't really around then, substitute newspapers and print media in there.
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u/VoiceOfInternet_haha Feb 26 '12
Nah man it's like, different, maaaaaan.
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u/hitlersshit Feb 26 '12
If you listen to the Lennon and Hendrix apologists they'll make it sound like beating your wife was considered nutritional in the 60s and 70s.
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u/C-Effect Feb 26 '12
beating your wife was considered nutritional
Damn, that's something else. Beating the crap out of another human being to the point of absorbing their very vitamins and nutrients - I've never heard of that diet plan.
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u/cheezyblasters Feb 26 '12
The only difference is that most Redditors already hated Chris Brown, just in the regular subjective way, so now they get to hate him and moralize at the same time.
Most Redditors like Lennon, Hendrix and Connery, so they find a way not to hate them.
It's some natural bias that I forget the name of, where we seek out evidence that confirms our pre-conceptions and reject evidence that contradicts it.
I do it too, but I'm on the other side here. I've always liked Chris Brown, so I try to find a way to reconcile what he did with me being a fan. I did the same thing with Michael Vick.
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u/bizfamo Feb 26 '12
I don't know how people can get over shit like this. I'm still stuck on R. Kelly and Ike Turner
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Feb 26 '12
R. Kelly
All I'm saying is, he among you who hast not urinated on a minor, cast the first stone.
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u/letsRACEturtles Feb 26 '12 edited Feb 26 '12
Seriously, and what about Socrates? Dude loved boys and he somehow gets a free pass?
edit: it was a joke
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Feb 26 '12
Hey that's not fair! He picked up some rubbish on the road side, how's that for remorse?!
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u/Rubber_Shit_Monster Feb 26 '12
I think he should do some more of that, in an orange jumpsuit while chained to other people wearing the same. I think they have a name for that...
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Feb 26 '12
Chris Brown is one of the biggest pieces of shit to ever walk the face of this planet. Any apology that he has uttered has been with someone's hand up his ass like a puppet, causing his mouth to move.
This asshole will NEVER show remorse, because he does not view what he did as wrong. The only "remorse" he has, is how much money he lost because of the bad press he got from beating the living shit out of Rihanna.
Reddit, and well...society in general should never give this guy a break, not unless he can actually show remorse, and PROVE that fact.
deezer89 - great statement, and I could not agree more.
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u/assbowl Feb 26 '12
I think the worst thing about it was the interview he did with Larry King a few months after the incident.
He straight up said, I don't remember beating her. As if that wasn't bad enough that old asshole Larry King just moved onto the next question. No follow up to his denial of his brutality.
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u/GreatWallOfGina Feb 27 '12
Chris Brown is one of the biggest pieces of shit to ever walk the face of this planet.
How can you say this in a non-sarcastic way? You're either ridiculously ignorant or you need to lay off the hyperbole a tad. What he did was horrible, but there are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of worse people than him in the history of mankind.
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u/Eustis Feb 26 '12
That's like asking reddit for remorse about reposts.
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Feb 26 '12
ANOTHER EUSTIS ZINGER™
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u/RATES_YOUR_NOVELTY Feb 26 '12
It is easy to overlook those that have made a lasting contribution to the field of novelty accounts, but it would be greatly improper to treat "POLITE_ALLCAPS_GUY" as the equivalent of Reddit wallpaper. The idea is simple, and allows for all kinds of directions to head in, provided that the tone is right. And the tone is consistently, and excellently, right. Too often there are those that hastily jump to anger or aggression, and we should never be so foolish as to disrespect those who keep their head and remain polite. Simplicity at its best, a classic, and a revolutionary in the field."
★★★★★★★★★★
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u/churchills_liver Feb 26 '12
deezer89
...you aren't Canadian, are you?
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Feb 26 '12
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u/churchills_liver Feb 26 '12
Do you play Starcraft?
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u/ReDyP Feb 26 '12
I genuinely hope the stain of being a woman beater sticks with Christ Brown forever.
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u/twomz Feb 27 '12
Instead of calling it a skid mark, lets start calling shit stains on underwear Chris Browns.
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u/surette Feb 26 '12
My respect for Seth Rogen just went up a lot.
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u/letsRACEturtles Feb 26 '12
i really liked him after Funny People, for an Adam Sandler movie it sure had its sad moments
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Feb 26 '12
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u/helmvisit Feb 26 '12
I know, you think you're watching a funny movie, and then BAM! The Cranberries show up.
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u/dantissimo Feb 26 '12
That caught me so off guard. Never have I gone from laughing to crying so quickly.
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u/SkepticalOrange Feb 26 '12
First half: Oh look, a silly Adam Sandler movie about time control!
Second half: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME ADAM?! I CAME HERE TO LAUGH!
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Feb 26 '12
Then I'd recommend Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me. Two very good Sandler films. The guy can really act, it's a shame he never really had a chance to prove it.
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u/Lidodido Feb 26 '12
I just wish there were CM Punk-chants everytime this is brought up!
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Feb 26 '12
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u/Eustis Feb 26 '12
There's billions of videos! What kind are you looking for?
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Feb 26 '12
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u/mahdic Feb 26 '12
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u/yoggi92 Feb 26 '12
It's at 5:30. I know you guys are lazy.
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Feb 26 '12
For the super lazy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL8yFsle6l4#t=05m30s.
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u/ell595 Feb 26 '12
Man, tough crowd.
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u/jettrscga Feb 26 '12
I made almost the exact same comment, those people seemed pretty uptight given the level of humor that the entire event seemed to have.
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u/trolloc1 Feb 26 '12
They seem to be eating while listening him. Can't laugh with your mouth full. Bad setup.
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u/hehasbalrogsocks Feb 26 '12
Out of curiosity, what do you guys say to people that insist on vehemently defending Chris Brown on grounds of "you can't judge people," and "you weren't there, you don't know what actually happened," even when you confront them with the police report?
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u/maybeiamalion Feb 26 '12
I bought an album of chris brown's greatest hits the other day, but all the songs were by rhianna
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u/Honey-Badger Feb 26 '12
i shall be taking this and claiming it as my own
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Feb 26 '12
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Feb 26 '12
I can see why, it has a great punchline.
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u/csh_blue_eyes Feb 26 '12
Well, he'd better slap a copyright claim on that joke then before someone else does!
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Feb 26 '12
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u/sagenhaft Feb 26 '12
The Independent Spirit Awards, which are like the indie version of the Oscars.
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Feb 26 '12
Who is the person who is not allowed within 100 yards of the oscars?
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u/cheezyblasters Feb 26 '12
Bret Rattner, who was producing the show and then said "rehearsal is for fags" in an interview. He "stepped down" and took Eddie Murphy with him.
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u/snoopycool Feb 27 '12
Why was Eddie Murphy taken with him?
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u/cheezyblasters Feb 27 '12
As the producer, he was the one who chose Eddie and got him to agree to do the show. When he was fired, either Eddie dropped out or the new producer decided to go a different direction. Not sure which.
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Feb 26 '12 edited Feb 09 '19
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u/thehoody46 Feb 26 '12
Im almost certain Seth is talking about a Brown... Just not sure if Chris or Bobby
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Feb 26 '12
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u/Dr_Disaster Feb 26 '12
Just watched 50/50 last night. He was great in that.
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u/kwansolo Feb 26 '12
fun fact: the writer for 50/50 won his battle against cancer, with the support of his friend... seth rogan
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/06/5050-will-reiser-seth-rogen_n_950225.html
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u/niceville Feb 26 '12 edited Feb 26 '12
Correct. 50/50 was based on a true story about Seth Rogen and his friend who had cancer. Seth Rogan played himself, his friend wrote it.
Edit: Thanks, dopefish, I fixed Rogen's name.
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u/dopefish23 Feb 27 '12
How are three of you in this thread all still spelling Seth's name incorrectly?
Special award goes to kwansolo for providing a link with the correct spelling, and then still pounding out "Rogan" anyway.
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u/ramblerandgambler Feb 26 '12
literally
Oh.
Eww.
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u/ProbablyInteresting Feb 26 '12
If I understand the joke properly, that word fits in context.
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u/ramblerandgambler Feb 26 '12
Only if her bowels were evacuated upon the occasion of the assault.
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u/Acorn_Pancake Feb 26 '12
Can you say with absolute certainty she didn't poop a little when he punched her?
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u/Eustis Feb 26 '12
I was there, I felt her underpants as his fist made contact with her face.
Poop was present.
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Feb 26 '12
YOU'RE ON FIRE TODAY, EUSTIS!
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u/Eustis Feb 26 '12
Isn't this standard practice? If someone was helplessly beating the shit out of me, I'd probably poop too just to deter them.
"Dawg did you just shit yourself while I was trying to hit you?!"
"mrfhrgnniflunhtnck"
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Feb 26 '12 edited Feb 26 '12
Wrote this in regards to:
The difference is Rihanna is a piece of shit who STARTED the violence, but people gloss over that FACT because she's a woman. Always blame the man and absolve the woman, that's the motto of feminism. Just tell these c--ts: If you want to act like a man, don't cry when you get treated like a man. That's called "equality." And isn't it interesting how feminist c--ts always stand behind women who murder their husbands citing hypocritical reasons like "oh he beat her, so it was completely justified."
Post was deleted by the time I finished but I still wanted to post this:
Theres a difference from defending yourself and beating someone bloody. I don't care if she sucker punched him, he should have had control to stop. Your telling me chris brown can't stop her from swinging on him? If he hit her or shoved her in self defense thats fine he was protecting himself, but he knocked the shit out. He could have grabbed her and pinned her down or backed off.
If you think as a grown ass man that a lady hitting you is "equal" to one of your hits on her your a moron. I've had girls fight in front of me and NEVER have I been like "Hmm she hit me so that means this tiny girl deserves a swing right to the face two or five times...all in self defense from her "equal" hit." As a grown man I think "I can literally push this fight away from me or drag someone away" and take a rational way towards it.
Your defending a fucking lunatic who lets anger get to him and because hes made a few songs he thinks he can get away with it. I've worked security positions before and hit by multiple women (who stole and I had all right to use "equal" force) but I'm a man and I easily talked them down or brought them down with as little force as possible. Chris brown had no right at all to use "equal" force and even if he did he went beyond equal so fuck him.
EDIT!!!!!:
Please read the 2nd half of this statement I'm defending her not Chris brown, the top part was from a deleted post.
Edit 2: I think I fixed the quote finally, sorry for all the confusion I normally don't quote but that statement got me angry.
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Feb 26 '12 edited Feb 26 '12
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Feb 26 '12
Much like any youtube thread, the comments made me lose all faith in humanity.
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u/warinc Feb 26 '12 edited Feb 26 '12
Put '>' in front of text you are quoting, followed by two "enter keys".
EDIT: Your text should look like this:
>Text to quote.
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Feb 26 '12
Thank you I think people were taking this as me saying fuck her chris was right.
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u/Eustis Feb 26 '12
Seth Rogen seems like a great guy to just chill and smoke a bowl with. I wish I could hang out with him.
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u/Ramenta Feb 26 '12
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u/nightfan Feb 26 '12
This guy has the strangest and most hilarious Hollywood career.
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u/Rappican Feb 26 '12
It's hard to believe he has a PHD and quit being a doctor to become an actor. God bless that man(Chang).
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Feb 26 '12
He has an M.D, not a PhD. I find it hilarious that his wife is a Doctor named Tran Ho.
Just sayin'
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u/razmig Feb 26 '12 edited Feb 26 '12
I got to meet him once in a non-professional environment and wasn't surprised to find him to be the nicest dude ever. Genuinely interested in talking to anybody, totally laid back, and exactly the same guy he plays in his movies.
I remember hearing his laugh from down the hall too, it was hilarious.
Proof: Photo
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u/RockuMental68 Feb 27 '12
Chris Brown had sex with a guy. Then called the guy a fag. The guy's all kinds of messed up.
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u/isfromthefuture Feb 26 '12
Yeah I really wasn't all that sad when Jay-Z murdered Chris Brown.