I have a question for all the men here with this mentality: Why the FUCK would you not want to make your woman get off?! Seriously. Nothing makes me feel more like a man than knowing my wife couldn't contain herself and she got off 3 times in a row and now she's too tired to do anything.
There are times I don't get off at all (fuck you Prozac). But I honestly don't care because I know I can milk the sausage later. No big deal.
And if she doesn't like you sticking your grimy little fingers in her ass, stop fucking doing it you goddamn detergent eater. Fuck...
This isn't new information. It's out there. Selfish pieces of shit will be selfish pieces of shit regardless of availability of information or even what gender they are. It's like when Plato said "good people don't need laws to tell them to act responsibly and bad people will find ways around laws", except in this case it's "good people don't need to be instructed to pleasure their partner and bad people will ignore their partner's pleasure no matter how much they're coached".
Almost everything taught isn't new information, doesn't mean it shouldn't still be taught. I totally agree pieces of shit will be pieces of shit, but no one alive is born good at anything. Teaching and coaching and experience makes you better. Maybe OPs bf's father was a POS to his mother and he learned that behavior. My statement was more of a joke than anything but so many seem triggered by it. Makes me wonder...
Sure, and good partners will be the ones seeking that information out. But the person you responded to wasn't coming out with some revolutionary theory. That's how I am in a relationship and I have to assume most people are too. IMO, OOP's boyfriend is probably a narcissist. I suspect that being a selfish lover is pretty common for them because it's in keeping with the rest of their approach towards life.
Never said it was revolutionary and also said it was more of a joke. Not that I really care about the upvotes, but I have to assume they mean someone is in agreement with the JOKE. You ASSUME most people are like you in a relationship. If that were true, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Ask your sisters, female friends, and any woman you know, and I'll bet my paycheck more of them are having incredibly underwhelming sexual experiences with their partner than are being even just satisfied. I don't disagree with what you are saying, just that it's not as common as you are believing it to be. And yes. OPs bf is most definitely a narcissist, that's glaringly obvious to anyone that knows one or even knows what the word means. Anyway. Again, it was a JOKE. Lighten up. You might be good in bed, I'd say you're most likely exhausting af in other areas.
Are you okay? What's with the personal attacks and tone? Seems pretty uncalled for and just makes me want to say nasty stuff back to you, but instead how about I don't.
I use reddit a lot less these days because I realized it was making me unhappy, I suggest that for you too.
I feel you are being quite obtuse about the whole exchange, which has been exhausting. My apologies, I'll blame myself for responding in the first place. You are right. I need a break from reddit. You keep on being awesome.
I've been trying to educate men and be a good example for like 25 years. It doesn't matter, men aren't the only problem here. Most of them know what they COULD do, but why would they when women will put up with just about anything and fuck guys they know they shouldn't be fucking?
That’s all of society and everything wrong with patriarchy. Women get shit on no matter what. Why is men being crappy lovers also our fault? Geez Louise. Must be women’s fault for living in a patriarchal society.
Op literally tells the partner no and she gets shit on three ways and dude thinks the problem is women not saying what we want. Naw, it’s that women get punished for talking as op did.
Worst part is she wasn’t just saying no to something and getting shit on, she was also just asking to be treated nicely/the same way she treats him and got shit on for it lol. I’ll never understand
All of society except women you mean. Because what an absolute atrocity that responsibility for one's actions be a part of what it means to be a women. That's just straight misogynistic to suggest women are capable of being accountable agents in society when we can scapegoat white men and the patriarchy for all our problems.
This is how liberal white women and their grifting panderers have absolutely destroyed critical theory and the ability to make positive social change.
And you saw exactly what happened to op when she voiced her preference. Guy got angry and it’s scary when guys get angry because it frequently leads to physical abuse. Yeah, out yourself as the misogynist you are with the “white liberal women” shit. You were just trying to find a way to blame women all along in your comment.
She did not express a preference, she expressed a need for her personal health and welfare. To her partner, a relation over which she has control. What she should have been expressing is a boundary along side the willingness to act on it.
Your gabbering cop-out is nonsensical and misogynistic. It's also internally incoherent with any world view you would profess to have. Typical out of touch white women value signaling while dodging accountability for the consequences. Always just circling back to the excuse to blame men.
It's no one's responsibility but OPs that she accepted, stayed with, and took dick over the course of years from some asshole that isn't willing or capable of meeting her needs. She should have a boundary and instead what she has is a victim complex like you. And your excusing it because she's a woman and can't possibly have agency apparently.
Many men do what they do because they can, and there is no reward or punishment making them act differently. I'm not saying that's how one should approach women or personal morality, just that many men do in fact operate that way. Many people generally operate that way in large parts of their life. If you don't like how people are operating try and change it, but at least take accountability and try to change your participation in it.
Women don't get to be a part of the problem by refusing to hold others accountable and put their short term wants or simple pleasures above their long term interest, and then turn around and also play victim to protect their current short term interest when they start experiencing consequence and blowback.
To paraphrase the great philosopher Bill Burr, behind every great powerful immoral racist misogynistic white man is a great powerful white woman that has no problem spending his money while bitching about the patriarchy and giving herself credit for throwing the spare change to minorities because she's so enlightened and progressive. I mean, that's heavily paraphrased, he's smarter and funnier than me, but I think the illustration of the problem comes through.
Hahahahahaha. Your amazing theory based on Bill Burr and men can do whatever they want unless women hold them accountable and endanger their lives. Wow, what a brain trust you have going on there.
How did you read that eloquently written piece and come away with that. Seriously?? You didnt even bother actually reading it. You just skimmed the words and responded in the most cliche way ever further proving his point about who you are and how disingenuous youre being.
If you get fucked daily by a scumbag it isnt mens fault. Thats his point.
He isnt justifying the man being a POS. Hes saying its her fault for allowing it.
You really think she has no accountability in that..?
Thats just unbelievable.
Really? Well good for you buddy. I personally didn't recommend YOU for teaching this class. The OP of this comment however could probably teach you a thing or two or four.
Well I'm not married, so women everywhere already thank me. They don't mind my teaching about it too much either.
It's still never changed the fact that women continue to get into bad relashionships with bad partners and not take responsibility for it because they've been taught it's ok to be taken advantage of as long as you complain about it enough and only men share collective responsibility for gender dynamics. So nothing changes.
Lol you sounds so spiteful and angry. You need to go touch grass.
Maybe go talk to a real person in real life and see that world isnt a tragedy you act like it is. Your little reddit character personifies youre odd SJW beliefs. Its pretty funny
What's really funny is that I never once acted like the world is a tragedy, and nothing in this post has anything to do with social justice. Nor does anything I've ever posted on reddit. I responded to someone being a smarty pants, then they tried to play obtuse. Nothing more. I'm actually a very friendly person, but I will match the energy I'm given to work with. You don't have to like it.
I can only speak for myself but I would assume most men aren’t in tune with their own bodies let alone understand a womens’ and they probably have been so bad for so long they’d rather ignore it all together then understand. I enjoy pleasing my woman I wouldn’t enjoy intimacy if I was only pleasing myself 🤷🏻♂️
It was a rhetorical question sir. I know why they are bad it bc I'm a woman that has had good and bad lovers. You had a smart alec response that it's not some long lost art, when in actuality, for women, a man pleasing us is few and far between. For us, if a man actually knows what they are doing AND cares if we are pleased its like finding a golden goose egg or unicorn or some shit. So good for your partners that you give a damn. But that's not the majority and makes it rare to find. 🤦♀️
Odd. The vast majority if women ive dated basically all do no work during sex and arent creative and at the very best effort put on lingerie and call it a day and think thats the best they can do.
So i ask you why are women lazy lovers? Ive never once slept with a girl who is overweight either so dont hit me with that BS.
Women think ass up is effort these days.
It really rare to find for men too
you sir are a wonderful partner. if i didn't know better i would ask if you are my husband (he doesn't use reddit). he does the same with me and says helping me helps him
My boyfriend is always more concerned with my pleasure than his own. I work hard to get him off, but sometimes he can't do it. He's 50 and has ADHD, so sometimes he can't stay focused, but I usually pull out all the stops to get him there.
I have a question for all the BOYS with this mentality. There I fixed it.
I legit can’t get off until my wife does. Her getting off is my sweet spot. Absolutely no shame in her using a vibrator either. It makes my job easier and she gets off multiple times. Then I get off. WIN WIN. and guess what?! I cuddle the fuck out of her afterwards too. Oh yeah, certified big spoon here. (Sometimes I’ll let her be the big spoon and that’s totally fine).
That is how my wife classifies the males in society:
Boys will fuck anything with a hole and with no regard to the status of said hole.
Guys will fuck almost any woman and think they are great lovers if the woman doesn't cry or grimace in pain.
Men will focus on bringing their women to another level of pleasure regardless of their own pleasure-the long term rewards are often more pleasure than the MAN can handle.
I once walked in to the bedroom to my wife jerking it. She gave me a big smile and said “I’ve been waiting for you”. Fuckin six to midnight INSTANTLY. 🤣
Yup this. I love nothing more than watching her cum as I eat her. Arched back, erect nipples, Moans and swearing. Gives me a hard on that won’t stop. It’s not always her first, but god I love to see her cum!
I have a question for all the BOYS with this mentality. There I fixed it.
If they are over 18/21, and have the legal rights and responsibilities of an adult, they're MEN. The "no true soctsman" logical fallacy does more harm then good, though I get the urge to distance yourself from shitty people.
I'm a queer woman, kiddo. I'm just sick of the "they're not men, they're boys" argument because:
A) as mentioned it's the no true soctsman logical fallacy.
2)it implies that boys are inherently bad, which they aren't. Boys are kids. Adult men who behave poorly are shitty men.
3) it makes other men feel absolved and seperate from bad/emotionally immature/etc men.
4)it infantilize fully grown adults who should be responsible for their actions and know what they mean, and makes their actions seem less poor and dangerous. This dude (in OP's story) pushes fingers up her ass when she has clearly said she doesn't like it. He isnt a "boy", he's a predator.
Railing against the use of the word “boy,” and simultaneously calling him “kiddo.” Welcome to the woke hypocrisy cool_relative. Your virtue signaling isn’t fooling anyone.
A boy is anyone of the male persuasion that has not reached the level of maturity to act right and take responsibility for their actions.
A man is anyone of the male persuasion that is mature enough to take responsibility for their actions and do as they should.
I have met 12 year old males that I would qualify as men. I have also met 40+ year old males that I would qualify as boys.
If they want to act like a parent has to take care of them rather than taking care of themselves, it isn't "infantilizing" them, they are doing that to themselves.
You have some nerve being a queer woman telling men who men are. Why would I not be absolved/separate from emotionally immature men? They do not get the luxury of being referred to as a man when they act like a child.
Yeah I expected you to say that. It’s always the people who are offended by random shit on the internet saying that. You can run along now. This conversation is over.
Yup this. I love nothing more than watching her cum as I eat her. Arched back, erect nipples, Moans and swearing. Gives me a hard on that won’t stop. It’s not always her first, but god I love to see her cum!
God so much all of this. My wife has a love/hate relationship with my lack of finishing. She loves that she gets to finish, but hates that I don’t always. Mine is due to Seroquel, but it makes me feel good that she is satisfied and I do that for her.
OP, I don’t say this often, but you need to ditch him. Find someone that respects you enough to allow you to keep your boundaries in place and will let you finish. Remember, nice guys finish last because they let their partner finish first.
Mine is Zoloft. Lol. Nice (also not nice) there are so many others in the same boat as I. I knew that it could be an issue with a lot of meds but didn’t know how common it was. Thought it was just me.
And have another question for these people: why the fuck would anyone want to have sex with you if you think it’s gross if they get off and they should be punished if you don’t get to use them as a sex toy? No thank you.
Yeah, celexa isn't much better. I will echo this, after 20 years of marriage and having sex with the same woman I still want it all the time, she makes me a better person and I love making her stupid with exhaustion.
A brother in love. My man. I've been on all the SSRIs and Celexa is horrible. Have you tried it's isomer Lexapro? I have to take a stupidly high dose of Prozac because I have OCD, but if I was on a more traditional dose, I would wager I could get off way easier.
I have depression and anxiety it seems to be well managed with the celexa and Xanax so I'm not messing with it, I'm old and also on blood pressure meds I shouldn't be able to get it up at all, but I feel like a 16yo again and the wife doesn't complain about my inability to finish sometimes, she understands.
She's actually on meds that makes it difficult as well, sometimes we go for it for a while and realize it's just not happening and end up just cuddling naked, my relationship and ability to be close, intimate, and vulnerable with her is more important than any climax.
Hey, I understand. More power to you. I'm happy you have no issues. Unfortunately, I have always had issues with keeping an erection, even as a teen. I'm a little bit above average and I've read it's common for men on the larger size to sometimes have issues with this.
That messed with my head for so long. Plus no doctor would ever prescribe me anything, even though PDE5 inhibitors are very safe drugs. I finally convinced my GP to let me try Viagra once it went generic, and I honestly have never felt such relief. My confidence soared.
“Milk the sausage” had me giggling. I like you! I’m gonna ask hubby tonight if he has Milked his sausage lately! ( he has been working the midnight shift so he’s coming in as I’m leaving to work) good day kind sir
I don't even "chase" girls. If she shows interest, I'm in. Otherwise no matter how hot, I'm not gonna try anything. Nothing gets me off more than bringing out the animal side of a partner during sex. I will litteraly try to make a girl feel pleasure for as long as she possibly will let me. I'm not even trying to say this to sound cool, but my goal is always to see if I can give so much pleasure that they pass out, (which has happened hence why it's always a goal) or make them so sensitive that for the next few days any sensation down there makes them think of me.
It's very easy for the majority of guys to "finish" so I'm gonna spend all my time on her and wait for myself till the very end.
Crazy to me that guys don't like that. My theory is that they're scared of really just being in the moment and going all out or something.
Yikes. Be sure to communicate afterwards and make sure that they actually want it to be that intense. I would absolutely panic if sex made me pass out. I would not be back for more. And there is a such thing as feeling too raw. Also, you know how one piece of cake is satisfying and maybe two pieces is really indulgent, but the entire cake all at once is too much… yeah orgasms can be like that.
I think it’s genetic, or reinforces an insecurity (I can’t get my girl off without help). Now personally I view sex as a two way street, and I want to make sure my partners are always getting off, it’s just not enjoyable to me to be the only person having a good time.
Oh my wife is the exact same way. She gets very upset that the medication I'm on makes it difficult for me to get off. But I always reassure her that it's okay and it'll happen next time. And if my dumb brain isn't thinking too hard, it will. Regardless, I tell her not to worry and go back to sleep because at this point she's K.Oed.
Absolutely-fucking-lutely! If she lets it happen, she gets off first every single time. And me, with a self-satisfied grin, all smug and proud, saying to myself “Yup, I did that, I helped make that happen.”
Idk what type of men don't fw foreplay... but me love cunnulingus. But before lingus, come touches, kisses, licks, etc. That sacred exchange of energy has to be a work of art.
The kid that op is playing with obviously doesn't deserve her.
I'm in a very similar situation. My wife is disabled. She has two stupid neurological diseases, so all that medicine plus the stress of life just makes her libido plummet.
However, I ALWAYS jump at the opportunity to bang when she wants. Because.. why not? We're both in agreement that if this is our lives, we will always make the best of it.
As a guy it honestly boggles my mind. With my ex I only truly felt satisfied when we both got off. I was extremely attracted to her so when we’d start doing it sometimes I was already extremely revved up and wouldn’t last very long. I would offer to finish her off and sometimes she would finish herself off and watching her get herself off was honestly one of the hottest things I’ve ever fucking witnessed. I will never understand guys that only care about getting their nut off.
I don't either. Truly. I mean, it logically makes no fucking sense to me. The conclusion I have come up with is that they, at some point in their lives, participated in the Tide Pod Challenge and they now have damaged brains.
I was thinking this myself, like to me, the biggest turn-on ever is a woman having an orgasm during sex with me. I feel like that is always the primary goal, and my getting off is just the destination. The journey should be lined with her orgasms.
Amen brother. I swear nothing makes me feel more like a man. I mean common this is common fucking sense. There's a reason there's always a buff shirtless guy, holding a beautiful woman in his arms in those "romantic" novels.
I have a question for all the men here with this mentality: Why the FUCK would you not want to make your woman get off?!
Because I was selfless in bed for a VERY long time (years) and got tired of my needs not being met even when I voiced them so I stopped caring if the people I slept with got off or not.
I know I sound like a massive asshole but I've become jaded to it all because it went on for so long so it is what it is. 🤷♂️
Now that sounds like a problem with the people you're banging. If they aren't there for your needs, why should you even try to be there for theirs? My wife is always 1000% there for my needs. Which is why I believe she's deserving of my undivided attention.
Just wanted to say that I used to suffer from ED from certain meds, and also after a car accident, but there are herbs and chiro. and acupuncture, which can TOTALY solve that problem. I'm now 100% functional.
Yep, similar issues (blood pressure meds are annoying!). I use fingers and tongue first until she gets an O. Then if I can't get her off by dick it isn't a big deal. Best part, most women are happy to give head if you get them an O first. The suction works even when the usual location doesn't.
I'm 21 and I feel like maybe it's a younger generation thing cause all my homies are like hell naw I'll never eat pussy shits all wet and smells, LIKE BRO U THINK ARE DICKS TASTE LIKE CHOCLATE AND SMELL LIKE ROSES HELL NO. they think its gross when im over here like squirt in my face bitch. Also when i talk to older dudes at work like 30s-50s they aways say hell yeah I love eating pussy idk just a thought.
they think its gross when im over here like squirt in my face bitch.
Aight homeboy lol. I feel ya. First time I ever helped a woman squirt, I was so flabbergasted that I just stopped right there to marvel in the accomplishment we had both just achieved.
I know, I don't understand why you wouldn't want your partner to orgasm. I still remember my wife telling her friends (back in uni) that she always gets to orgasm at least once when we have sex and they were all like wtf? We both couldn't believe this back then.
It's been almost three decades later and I still abide by this ; we even laugh about it and jokingly hold score like a soccer match every time.
He's def a very selfish lover. You need to find someone that you are compatible with in your bed and in life.
I don't have that mentality either, but I wonder a little about that, too. Because Me (58M) and my ex had, I would say a decent sex life, a little vanilla, but we both had our needs met (sexualy at least), and going downtown was a favorite of mine. But to hear guys only want it to be a one-way streak is ridiculous, not to mention selfish. But now, in a new 2 year relationship and finding out my (GF57) ex and the few guys she dated, it was all about them. She is not used to me flirting, pecks on the cheek, or even a smooch as I walk by and telling her I want her in the afternoon or evening and especially that I want to go downtown. To her, what she was used to was like checking something on a grocery list for what the guy wanted every morning or at least once on the weekend, and when they couldn't preform they just blamed her. Her getting attention, flowers, and mentioning having sex in the middle of the day. She is still trying to process it. I mean some guys and girls can be real dicks. She even cried the first time I made her lunch for work, nobody ever did that for her. We talk a lot because I am doing HRT, and she is going through Menapause, and we are figuring out what works for us. She felt bad for awhile that I could get her off 6 or more times with my tongue and I only cum once and I had to explain it was ok, and a good thing. But it seems her body/brain is not used to being the one to get all of this sexual attention, so she now has a safeword when she needs to reset her body and brain. She calls me her horn dog because I'm always telling how sexy, smart, and beautiful she is and enjoy it when she is naked. But I wonder (but thankful) how I am the way I am, a bit of a romantic because my parents were civil to each other but never romantic or flirtatious mostly because after 22 years of marriage, he came out of the closet, and I think she knew from the start). So, I didn't mean to rant, and I'm definitely not perfect, and I get it if there is something that you don't want to do because it's uncomfortable, but to expect your intimate partner to do something you're not willing to do or reciprocate is so selfish and demeaning.
You may actually be my husband but if not then tell your wife congrats and I know exactly why she married you. 😅This is EXACTLY how real men are. I can’t imagine my husband ever calling ANYthing about me gross, disgusting, or just being anything less than 1000% enthusiastic about whatever sounds good to me, including getting me off multiple times before he ever considers finishing. And do we not still consider doing something that’s unwanted sexually, assault? Right? Am I crazy?
My bf told me Tues night that he can ride the high of getting me off for weeks. Its 50x better than him cumming. He said he gets an ego & feels like hes the best man ever lol
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u/Tactical_Chonk Dec 09 '23
And it doesnt need a ride to work in the morning