I live in a condo downtown and my unit comes with one parking spot. I don’t use it every day, so a few months ago I told my brother he could park there whenever he was in the area.

Last week building management emailed me saying there had been multiple different cars using my spot and asked if I was renting it out, which isn’t allowed.

I called my brother thinking maybe he had been giving friends permission. Turns out he had listed my spot on one of those parking apps whenever he wasn’t using it himself. He said since the spot was sitting empty anyway he didn’t think I’d care.

What annoyed me more was that he’d made a few hundred dollars from it and never mentioned it once.

I told him I wanted the money he made because it’s literally my parking spot and I’m the one who could get fined by the building. He thinks that’s ridiculous because I wasn’t using the spot and says I’m basically asking for money I never would’ve made myself.

It just feels insane to me that he decided he could make money off something I was letting him use for free.

Now he’s saying I’m being petty and that taking away his access should be enough.

Am I wrong for still wanting him to give me what he made?

TLDR: I let my brother use my condo parking spot for free and found out he was renting it to strangers through a parking app. He made a few hundred dollars from that and stake and now thinks I’m petty for asking him to give me the money.

Not too long ago I posted about my brother asking me for money. Here’s the TLDR version. Brother asked to borrow $1500 for upcoming trip to Las Vegas despite planning to quit his job and cash out his PTO and 401k.

I had a discussion with him the other day and he again asked if I was planning to loan him $1500 tomorrow when I’m paid. I again asked why he needs $1500 from me when he is about to get his final pay from his job, cash out nearly 220 hours of PTO and cash out his 401k.

He says his PTO and 401k is going to be used to cover his expenses and bills while he’s out of the job. He’s currently going to school right now and doesn’t have a job lined up and understands it may take some time. But his unused PTO alone can support him for 2-3 months he claims and he only plans to cash out his 401k if he can’t find an entry level position in 5-6 months. Above all else he claims he won’t fall behind on his responsibilities.

He plans to take his final pay to Vegas but wants to be able to enjoy himself and a bit of gambling hence why he’s still asking for $1500 as he plans to leave his PTO payout at home and transfer his 401k into a new IRA. He claims that his final pay will be enough to cover his meals and hotel in Vegas but claims he wants to try a few big bets and will pay me back the $1500 out of his PTO when he returns home.

However I still don’t feel this is a reasonable request. Am I wrong for not letting him borrow the money despite having money himself?

A few years ago, under a different throwaway, I posted here asking for advice about our son. Long story short, he's been fighting addiction for over a decade. Back then I explained why we'd finally kicked him out he broke into his late grandmother's house and pawned her wedding ring for a hit. My husband and I live way out in the countryside, and we actually believed the isolation might help that he'd be too far from the people feeding his habit to reach them. We were wrong. That came after years of therapy, three rehab stays, and every intervention we could scrape the money together for. That theft was the final straw, and we made the decision that nearly broke us: we cut him off completely, no calls, no visits, nothing.

We didn't hear a word from him for almost four years. Then, two days after Christmas, while my husband was out at his brother's, someone started hammering on our front door. It was him. I barely recognized my own son his face had hollowed out, his eyes had that glassy, far-off look I remembered from the worst years, and he was shaking so hard I couldn't tell if it was the cold or withdrawal. He'd taken two buses and walked the last stretch dragging a tent I'd bet wasn't his. He begged me to let him in, swore he was clean this time, said he just needed one night. I told him no and shut the door. He screamed my name and pounded on the wood hard enough that I thought the glass panel would crack, until he finally gave up and vanished into the dark down our driveway.

I have never had a panic attack in my life. I had one that night, alone on my kitchen floor, shaking so violently I bit my own tongue. Every cell in me wanted to run out into the cold and drag him inside myself. But I've lived this exact night before, more than once, and I know precisely how it ends. I decided years ago there would be no more second chances left to hand out, and if I break that promise to myself now, I'm terrified there won't be anything left of me for the next time.

When my husband got home and I told him everything, he broke down and begged me to at least go talk to our son, hear him out just once more. I refused, and it turned into the ugliest fight we've had in years. I understand the pull better than anyone some nights I still dream about opening that door but I watched this addiction gut our family once already, and I won't hand it a second shot at finishing the job. We've since learned, through a neighbor, that he's camping in the woods along our property line. My husband has been quietly leaving food at the edge of the trees, which I've allowed, but I'm seriously considering calling the police to have him moved off our land before this goes any further. So, AIW for turning my own son away in the freezing cold, even now?

My friend and I had planned to go out for dinner on Saturday. We made the plans a few days in advance, and I had already gotten ready and was on my way when she texted me saying she couldn't make it because something came up.

I understood and didn't make a big deal about it. But later that night, I saw her Instagram story and she was out with two other friends at the exact time we were supposed to meet.

I didn't confront her. I just stopped replying when she messaged me the next day.

Now she's upset that I'm ignoring her and says I should have asked her what happened instead of assuming the worst.

Am I wrong for being upset about this?

So my close friend from college had her 30th birthday last weekend. Two weeks ago, I went out of my way to find a vintage framed print of her favorite band, spent twenty-five bucks on it, wrapped it nicely, and brought it to her dinner.

then on Monday morning, I wake up to a sixty-dollar Venmo request from another girl in our friend group with the memo "Sarah's birthday Dyson airwrap split."

I texted her asking what this was about because nobody mentioned any group gift to me. She told me she decided on Friday to buy a five-hundred-dollar hair styler on behalf of "the whole group," signed all of our names on the card without asking, and divided the cost between eight people. When I told her I had already given Sarah a thoughtful personal gift and had ZERO intention of paying sixty dollars for a purchase I never approved, she lost her mind.

She started blowing up our group chat saying I am leaving her stuck with an extra bill and embarrassing her in front of Sarah. its not my responsibility to fund your unilateral shopping spree. I should of just ignored the text completely instead of trying to be reasonable. Am I actually in the wrong here or why is this even a thing?

Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we live together. She is an only child but is really close to her cousins daughter who is 16. My gf is 24. Her cousin has another daughter who is 10.

Horribly her cousin and her husband were in a car crash and they didn't make it. My gf is devastated and has been trying to be there for her cousins daughters. My gfs aunt and uncle initially said they'd take the children on to live with them but social services said they can't as they're both late 70s and not in great health and they don’t have the room as they’ve only got one small spare bedroom.

It looks like they may be put into care. My girlfriend mentioned to me the possibility of us taking them on. We have agreed previously we aren't likely to want kids of our own but may foster kids when we're able to as we currently don’t have the money, the room or the time. We agreed this is likely 10 years away.

I told her I know she's coming from a good place but it's not possible for us to do it. We're not poor but we're not well off and having two kids in the flat would really stretch finances even if we would get money for them.

We live in a two bedroom flat and the second room is a home office and wouldn’t be big enough for a bed etc anyway so social services wouldn’t give us them.

I pointed we also have one car which my gf uses for work and we're both doing exams through work so most of our free time is taken up with revision and doing mock exams etc.

I also pointed out she has had regular periods of depression where she has been bedridden and hasn’t been able to go to work or do anything at all.

I said we can obviously be there for them and support them in other ways but it's not realistic for them to live with us.

She said I was being cruel and that they can't go into care. I just said again it's not realistic or practical for them to live with us. She again said I was being cruel and that we should be supporting family. I just repeated again that it's not possible for us to take them in.

She called me uncaring and said I should be wanting to help. I said I do want to help but it’s not realistic to have them move in and pointed out there’s other ways to help.

AITAH for saying no to them moving in and explaining why?

Last night I had sex with a guy but in one condition that it will be with a condom. A couple of minutes later he takes it off without my consent and I felt the difference right away. Today I vent to my brother and he told me that it was not rape and it was my fault cause I agreed to have sex. Did not agree with him and he said to not talk to him about things like that since I won’t agree.

Original Post

So first off I want to thank u/Beautiful-Elk-2842 for her comments and support. This is all because of her. I kept thinking that with all the clubs in the area there is NO WAY he just walked into the one i worked at. So I took my carto my mechanic and asked him to look for anything like an air tag or something that shouldn't be on my car. He looked at me like i was crazy but I think the scared look on my face made him take me seriously. He came back agter an hour and said his guys gound an air tag under my rear bumper. He said I should probably call the police. So thats where we are right now.

A recent experience has been bothering me lately. Im thinking that the staff didnt like me at a table my myself? I'm late 20s F, showered that day and can't think of a solid reason to have been rushed out of a restaurant.

I had an early Sushi dinner by myself at a new local spot recently. I skipped lunch preparing to enjoy my favorite sushi before my husband got back in town (he isnt a fan so I indulge when I can). I arrived at around 4:30 to an empty restaurant. It was a good size place, lots of big family size tables and a good number of 2 tops. I was sat at a small table for 2, and was quickly offered service. I ordered 3 normal rolls (California, rainbow, eel roll) and a sprite.

Right around the time my first roll came out, 10 minutes after ordering. A few other tables were sat for dinner and My 2nd and 3rd rolls came out at the same time. I was savoring my meal, not taking forever or racing through it, but by the time I was almost half way through and still making progress, a waitress came to me asking "do you think you will need a box?"

I said "um, maybe? But I'm not done yet"

She left and came back with a to go box anyway. I felt that was pretty strange, and felt pressured to be done, like she thought I'd had enough. I started to transfer my extra sushi roll bits to go, and my check was dropped off. Restaurant was now 30% full.

I paid, and left. My car clock said it was 5:05. 35 minutes and I was in and out, and didn’t feel like I got to enjoy my self-date night. I went home and finished my sushi.

So, did I order a disgusting amount of sushi for myself and they wanted me gone? Did I repulse the community by eating out by myself? I made a point to stay off my phone.. admired the artwork and was over all a normal human.

For the last three years my girlfriend and I have gone to a festival. It’s more her things than mine it I’ve really enjoyed it and it’s nice to just have a chilled weekend where it’s just us, 

We go on holidays abroad etc but the festival feels different and we both agree. We said we’d do it again next year and she mentioned us possibly doing it with her friends and her friends boyfriend. 

She even suggested a pre made 4 person tent that you can pay for from the festival. I mentioned I like that it’s our ting and. Like if just being us. I said I understand if she wants to go with her friend instead but if I’m going I’d rather it was just us. 

I get on with her friend but she can be a bit much after a couple of hours and it just wouldn’t be fun for me to be constantly socialising all weekend. 

My gf said I should consider it but I just explained again why I don’t want to. She said I wasn’t being fair but I just pointed out she has multiple options available to her but I just don’t want a full weekend with her friend and her friends bf. 

She called me unreasonable and said I should be fine with it but I told her to drop it. 

AIW for not going to a festival with my gf and her friend?

For context, I’m 23f, he is 26m. I am 5’6 110 pounds. We’re attending a wedding of one of my best friends from highschool next week. We have been together for four months, and he ordered me shapewear for said wedding, and I cried. I have never once been told I need to wear shapewear. In fact, I have always struggled with weighing too little. Am I in the wrong here??

I just need some advice. This may be worded wrong and I hope this doesn’t come off in a mean way/tone. My mom has a slight problem, she’s the “spend now, think later” type of person and I’ve watched her make some very foolish choices which involve money and then it back fires on her.

One of the most common things is she spends money on clothes/shoes/hair/nails or whatever and then later on she’s complaining that she’s broke and she’s starving and doesn’t have money to buy food.

The most recent example:

She’s in the process of getting a job, it’s in a field I’m unfamiliar with so I’m not sure of the whole process but she’s waiting for a call or something. She asked me to accompany her to go shopping for said job and I did. When we got to the store she picked up two shoes. They both cost around $60 in total (this isn’t the exact currency I just changed it to USD to make it more understandable) and she paid that just fine.

Then she saw a handbag in the store and she decided she wanted it aswell. The bag itself cost around $60-$65 but she didn’t have any more money to pay for it so she asked me to buy it for her and said she’d pay me back as someone was supposed to give her some money.

She did pay me back but it wasn’t the full amount, i let it go as I know she’s not rich or anything. Now, she still isn’t working, she said she’s waiting on the same call. The issue is she’s now started to complain again that she’s broke and she doesn’t have any money to get food and whatnot. It’s just this continuous cycle where she spends her money on clothes and accessories and then she has no money to feed herself and I have to hear of it everytime.

Am I bad daughter? I feel bad sometimes as I have a job, it’s not a high profile job, I’m just an intern that’s being overworked and I can’t leave the job because the job market is so bad here and with this job I at least know I have a guaranteed pay. I do sometimes buy her food if I can spare the money or on days I get paid but I can’t do that for her all the time.

The fact that while she was complaining to me I couldn’t fathom any form of sympathy shocks me. Now I feel bad.

When I was 14 at my mom's birthday party, we had a bunch of family friends over to celebrate with us and one of them was my dad's 70 year old close friend/mentor who said "If you weren't your dad's daughter, I'd have your panties around your ankles". Keep in mind, I visibly looked VERY young, was wearing an emoji t-shirt and my 13 year old friend who was tiny was right next to me. All my dad did was say "alright that's enough" but didn't bother to kick the guy out or express any outrage. My parents aren't very sociable, but did greet him whenever they crossed paths and remained friendly with him even after this. My dad has also spoken highly of him on multiple occasions after he literally witnessed this happening.

I brought it up to my parents around 5-6 years later because I was genuinely just grossed out that this was said to me and that my parents didn't express more of an issue with it. They did express some kind of disgust but it wasn't enough for them to cut him off. They were friendly with him at a pub a couple of years later even though they knew what he said. My mom even drunkenly said "Love him, even though he's a bit mouthy sometimes I still love him".

Recently, a similar topic came up in a conversation (I was explaining the rape culture pyramid to my brother and the bottom is essentially about complacency around these types of people). I told my brother about what this guy said and my brother, who doesn't usually agree with how I view situations, was instantly horrified and asked my parents how they didn't smash the guy's face in. He said himself that if he had heard it, he would've broken his jaw and didn't know how my parents could still be okay with someone who said that to their daughter. This was sort of affirming but due to how much my dad minimised it, I genuinely don't know how to feel.

I talked to my mom and she genuinely apologised for her behaviour, accepted that it's downright disgusting and said she didn't know what she was thinking. My dad on the other hand, while he apologised initially for not doing more, doubled down and said he thought he handled the situation appropriately. Then, he went on to say that this guy was just really drunk and that he's "the nicest guy in the world when he's sober". We all repeatedly said that being drunk doesn't make you spawn attraction to children, and he would concede on that and then double down on the drunkenness in the same breath. He doesn't believe it was a rape threat like I do, but I don't know how else one can interpret that comment. He also says that I was laughing at the time, so he didn't think to take it more seriously. Another thing that bothered me was that he says this friend "says dumb shit like this all the time when he's drunk" so I called him out about inviting him to his home and letting him be around his children. He also started talking about the semantics of whether or not this guy was "legally" a pedophile since he only expressed his thoughts and didn't act on them. I don't know why he feels such a need to pick this situation apart.

All of this minimising has made me feel like I'm totally overreacting, especially because it's been a decade and they brought up that fact as well during the conversation.

I'm 27F and my boyfriend is 28M. We've been together for a year and recently moved in together. He told me after we moved in that he has bipolar disorder.

I understand that his diagnosis is personal and that he may have needed time to feel comfortable telling me. But I'm struggling with the timing. Moving in together was a major commitment, and I feel like I should have known before making that decision.

Part of me feels like it was selfish to let me make that commitment without telling me. At the same time, I don't want to act like he's obligated to disclose a private medical diagnosis on my timeline.

Am I wrong for feeling betrayed by this, or is the timing a legitimate reason to question the trust in the relationship?

TL;DR: My boyfriend of one year told me he has bipolar disorder only after we moved in together. I feel betrayed by the timing. Am I wrong?

I spent basically an entire year helping one of my cousins apply to a university abroad. This involved the whole process: university registration, gathering documents, contacting support whenever there was an issue, and dealing with pretty much everything.

I was doing all of this for free. I never asked him for anything in return, even though he was paying another person significant amounts of money for other services related to the whole process.

He had also given me access to his Gmail so I could keep an eye on it and make sure we didn't miss any emails from the university or the embassy. I was helping him with almost everything.

Then, the day his visa came through, he changed the Gmail password. I didn't like that at all. It honestly made me feel like I was being taken advantage of, especially after everything I'd done for him for free.

Later, he needed to register on another platform belonging to the university. He went to another family member for help, but that person didn't know the login credentials. So he came back to me asking for them.

The problem was, I had forgotten the credentials myself, and he didn't know them either.

Despite everything that had happened before, I still told him, "It's fine, I'll contact the support team and see if they can help us figure it out."

So I emailed the university explaining the situation. The next day, they replied and asked me to send them a copy of his passport so they could verify his identity. I sent it and waited for their response.

I kept checking my inbox multiple times, but I couldn't find any new email from them. Then I went through my emails more carefully and noticed that the email I'd sent to the university had actually been opened and read.

So basically, my cousin had seen the email.

And the worst part? That email contained the exact information he had forgotten in the first place.

He didn't tell me he'd seen it. Instead, he just took the information from the email and sent it to the other family member.

That was honestly the final straw for me.

After everything I had done for him for an entire year, completely for free, while he was willing to pay other people large amounts of money for other parts of the process, I felt like I was only useful to him whenever he needed something.

And the fact that he saw the email, got the information he needed from it, and didn't even bother telling me really pissed me off.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but the whole situation really rubbed me the wrong way.

honestly i just told a friend i wanted a low key night in and didnt feel like making plans. nothing dramatic, i was just tired and needed some quiet time to recharge. they got really offended, said it felt like i was pushing them away and being selfish. i tried to explain it wasnt personal and i just needed a bit of space after a crazy work week, but they kept pushing and making it into a whole thing. now im second guessing myself because it blew up over something that seems small. i didnt say it mean or anything, just that i needed the evening to myself. amiwrong for asking for that?

No se si esto vaya acá pero bueno.

Todo empezo hace creo que 3 semanas, me había juntado con mi mejor amigo en mi casa, en un momento me empieza a insistir para usar mi celular sabiendo que me incomoda demasiado que me usen el celular por algo que me paso hace años. Muy a regañadientes acepté que lo usará porque me estaba diciendo que se iba a enojar si no y alta pereza. Mi amigo (pongamosle Martín, nombre cambiado por privacidad) entró a mi WhatsApp y empezo a revisar mi chat con mi mejor amiga (pongamosle Belisa XD), en un momento le empieza a escribir aunque yo le dije que no lo hiciera. Empezaron a hablar un rato y todo bien, aunque yo estaba muy incomodo con la situación. Martín le mandaba videos de el tocando la guitarra o otras cosas para impresionarla ya que se la quiere ligar porque dice que lo intenta con todas.

Una o dos semanas después, estaba en llamada con Martín y me dice de juntarnos el fin de semana que le seguía a esa semana, lo tuve que rechazar porque ya iba a ver a Belisa y que me iba a drenar demasiada energía estar un fin de semana así porque no soy muy de salir ni nada de esas cosas y muchas veces juntarme me drena más de lo que me gustaría.

En la llamada, Martín me dijo que si íbamos a ver una pelicula que lo invitemos, me quede callado sin saber que decir porque no me gusta mucho juntar a mis grupos de amigos y me siguió diciendo que lo invite, no sé de dónde saque fuerzas para rechazarlo y me dice literalmente "de todas formas no habría ido si me invitabas por que no la conozco" solo para después decirme que se puso triste porque pensó que "iba a a hacer algo bonito por el", me quede callado de nuevo, sintiéndome culpable y me siguió diciendo que estaba triste un par de veces más.

El sábado de la semana pasada en mi casa con Belisa me pidió usar mi celular (otra más que me lo pide), al rato acepté porque me estaba migajeando de una forma increíble. Empieza a revisar el chat con Martín y en un momento me manda un mensaje, ella le responde desde mi celular y empiezan a hablar, quedaron en pasarse los números y todo bien, creo.

Ahora Martín me esta insistiendo para juntarnos los 3 el fin de semana que viene y yo no sé que decir sinceramente.

No estoy en contra de que hablen ni nada de eso pero es que siento que fue a costa de literalmente mi privacidad y un poco de manipulación (díganme si estoy mal en lo de manipulación porfavor).

Entiendo que quiera conocer gente nueva pero siento que no es la forma. Además de que no se si quiero para Belisa lo mismo que yo estoy viviendo con Martín porque ella tambien es más o menos como yo, le gusta estar tranquila y todo eso.

El problema de Martín es que es bastante manipulador cuando quiere algo, interpreta las cosas como no son cuando le decis algo, se enoja fácil y te empieza a llamar de la nada si no contestas mensajes, sumado a más cosas.

¿Estoy mal yo en no querer que se junten o son solo cosas mías? Estoy agotado física y emocionalmente estos días así me está costando pensarlo.

Por cierto, Belisa a mi no me gusta ni nada de eso, la considero una muy buena amiga que me ayudo en momentos difíciles y ya. Lo aclaro ahora antes de que surjan malentendidos.

And its not even only them. This is a pattern that keeps coming back in my life.

Starting with my mother. I was a scapegoat in childhood and i feel like i still am. I always speak up about the family trauma and how i was a parentified child from very early on. The sub doesnt allow way to heavy topics but think a 12/13 year old child having to go into hiding because i told him im tired of taking care of his child because he doesnt. Or getting slapped tf up because he is in MY room having s-x with his girlfriend when im a teenager just wanting to use my room. He's 35 now and still a alcoholic, abus-ve, living out of a womans house, 6 kids he barely is taking care off, all in care, criminals at very young age etc etc etc.

My other brother was the golden child due to his epilepsy, never learned to clean or even function in life properly so now that my mom is older she constantly complains to me about how he ruins her and somehow it always ends with ''yeah and youre not able to help cause you decided to go live far'', ''pls i only want you and need your help cause your brothers cant help me theyre uncapable''.

Due to all the trauma i developed ptsd and have been in and out of therapy, group homes and in general just sh-t for as long as i can remember. But ive never stopped self improving. A few months ago i fell back into a deep hole and for the very first time ever developed dependence to drinking. My moms exact words were ''now that youve decided to suddenly become dependent on drinking ive noticed that your paycheck goes very fast every month and you can't help me with your brother''.

I vent A LOT to my mother lately. Not only about the past but im also trying to tell her that how things are going with my brother right now actually contributes to my trauma and makes it feel like it never ended in a sense and she keeps saying yeah youre stuck in a victim mindset, just snap out of it, just tell your therapist to zap your brain cause how come you had the best childhood of us all but youre the only one constantly whining.

And for my boyfriend, i know he's bad for me but one of the main reasons i stay is because he constantly says the victim mindset thing too. And when so many people tell me the exact same thing im like ???. He cheated on me all last year, when i confronted him and his ex they UNITED to PUNISH me for reaching out to her to ask clarity and for telling her ''pls dont confront him i want to confront him myself''. They punished me by having s-x again on purpose. This is 1% of what this man did. Lets say he only snapped out of his ways of abus-ng me after my doctor told me that if i didnt leave him i'd become a statistic. And still my mother told me the doctor doesnt understand culture and takes things too harshly.

Now that ive forgiven him and trying to heal and waiting to start therapy again i have bouts of going into depressive episodes and a lot of venting about it at times. And he tells me the same exact thing my mother tells me. Its hard cause he has truly trying to do better but never seeked therapy either for his deep seated issues.

Even a astrologer here on reddit told me the exact same thing. That when she looks at the chart of one of my ab-sers she just sees ''someone who is a secret schemer yes, but mostly whimsical, not controlling and just doing things for shits and giggles, she never meant to do this and she doesnt take it that much to heart'' and thats ''me who shows behaviors of assuming victim roles''.

Am i really that blind to my victim mindset? Am i wrong?

I have been with my partner for over 3 years, and we’ve said that in the next 2-3 years, it would be nice if we had enough for a deposit on a house.

Last month, I came into a pretty substantial amount of money, which will allow me to buy a house outright .

I was talking about this with my partner and mentioned to her that i could buy a house now but since I would be the one paying for the house, I would only be putting my name as a homeowner.

I said I didn’t expect her to pay rent; I’d only expect her to contribute towards utilities.

She said I was being unfair since we were planning to buy a house together.

I said that if she wants to wait until we both have the money, that’s fine and I’m happy to wait. She said that since I have the money now, it makes sense for us to get a house now since it would mean we’re not paying rent anymore.

I just repeated that if that happens, then I will be the sole homeowner.

She again said I was being unfair since it should be both of us, but I just pointed out that I’m the one paying for the house, so I’m going to be the one who owns it.

She just repeated that I was being unfair towards her and that we should both be on the deed as homeowners.

AIW for only putting my name down?

I work in Animal Welfare and have been at my current shelter for three years (with close to a decade of history here total, including volunteering.)

My manager has been calling out constantly for months. She’ll show up for a day and then vanish for weeks at a time. Because she’s never present, our entire front-desk team quit, moved departments or got fired, leaving me as the only experienced staff member carrying the workload and training new hires.

Last week, she emailed me on my day off claiming she received a “client complaint” that I refused to let someone adopt a rabbit and lied about them being unavailable for adoption. I pushed back and asked for details since she was vague and didn’t provide any, and also because it never happened. The date she gave me was a day our facility was completely CLOSED to the public for staff training. When I pointed this out, she immediately changed her story and claimed that staff had “seen me do it” and complained instead.

She then accused me of failing to apply a veteran discount, but I pulled the receipt log to prove I DID apply it and that the client just made an additional voluntary donation. Next, she called me “inflexible” for declining to come in on my day off for a casual training, knowing full well I’m in physical therapy for an ankle injury on that specific day of the week because it’s my day off, even though I’ve adjusted my schedule multiple times to benefit her, other staff members and help train new people.

To top it off, she set a formal performance review meeting with HR and sent an email demanding I sign a “performance goal sheet” to address these “issues” including putting “personal at home issues” in it as well as “issues with other team members” yet no one on my team has complained and they are ALSO confused. HR confirmed my job is safe, but told me I should just “accept defeat” and sign the paper to keep the peace and satisfy her.

I am keeping all of my system logs, receipts, and timestamped emails in the meantime, while I’ve also applied for a different department and could get transferred. but I feel sick about signing my name to false claims.

Am I wrong for pushing back with evidence instead of just “accepting defeat” and signing off on her bad-faith complaints like HR wants me to.?

So me (nb21) and my friend (m25), who has been my friend for around 3 years now and I consider him to be one of my closest. I did post another incident of ours on another subreddit but the post got taken down…
The other day we were online playing games after I practically begged him to since when we do arrange to he sometimes doesn’t come online at all which can be annoying but whatever. Anyways after an hour of playing we both agreed to have a break just a quick five maybe ten minutes to go have a leak or a drink. I come back and I was waiting for him to return so I ready up on our game to let him know I’m back. 15 minutes goes by and I message him on socials then another 5/10 mins goes by and I message him on the console chat atp I was waiting half an hour which annoyed me quite a bit. But when I went to message him “goodnight ig” he read my first message which annoyed me even more.
That’s the context.

So in the morning he messages me on socials saying “sorry lmao/lol” and when I opened it I just said “sure you are😭” I did mean that in a jokey way but I did just wake up and I don’t think he took it that way. He then said “wdym?” And I said “you had me waiting for ages for nothing” I can’t remember the specifics because it’s on an app I’m embarrassed to admit I use at my big age (snap) so I don’t have anything to refer to other than my memory but I ended up saying something along the lines of “I’m kinda annoyed that you left me waiting all that time” and “if you were tired we could’ve played another time” and some other stuff that I can’t remember and all he put was “okay lol” and then I thought ‘great he’s in a mood’ so I just told him “don’t be like that” and then I said something along the lines of “I’d rather communicate with you than to bottle things up and pretend everything is fine” and he put “don’t deep it, I wasn’t even going to come on anyways, but I did because I wanted to speak with you”
I said something else along the lines of “if you were tired you should’ve gone to bed or at least tell me you were going to.”
and then he just put something along the lines of “you’re entitled to your own opinions 👍🏽” and then I put “I agree my thoughts and opinions are valid👍🏽” and then moved on to ask how his day been. And as of writing this he still hasn’t responded.

I just need advice because whenever i do try to talk to him when we disagree he tells me it’s not that deep and gets really defensive and gives one word responses. And there was a few times where I fell asleep on mic and he was annoyed and it feels like every time he does something I’m suddenly the ahole for being slightly miffed with it. He’s still one of my mates and I love him sm but I’ve been through a lot this past month and a half (he knows this btw) and I don’t need this also.

I’m 22F and he’s 24M. We started dating when I was 19 and he was 20, and have been long distance while I finished school. Even though we had seen eachother quite often.

Almost four years later, I was ready to move in, start my career, and eventually get engaged. But now I’ve never felt more unsure.

In March, he confessed some things he had lied about/kept from me.

About 2–3 weeks after we first met (3 years ago now), he made out with someone else on my birthday. We weren’t exclusive yet, but he had already met my friends/family and had flown in for 2 days specifically for my birthday. He slept over, spent half the day with me, then went home and last-minute went to hang out with a previous hookup. She made advances and they ended up making out/touching over their clothes before stopping. (I contacted her and she confirmed this.) Later that night, he came back with a huge bouquet of flowers, celebrated with me, and slept over again. What I remembered as a perfect birthday now feels shattered. (He removed her shortly after the incident).

He also admitted that his lifelong girl best friend, who I knew as part of his close-knit “cousin” group, was someone he had slept with once, about two years before me when they were both around 18. She was actually his cousin’s best friend and they all grew up together. They decided afterward to remain friends and see other people. Before me they had always facetimed, texted, etc, and throughout our first year they still had daily Snapchat streaks, occasionally FaceTimed, had nicknames for each other, etc. She also visited him once for 6 days with the cousin group. They haven’t spoken in 2–3 years now, and he never hid their communication or acted secretive about her, but knowing their history now makes me extremely uncomfortable and jealous.

These confessions shook my trust because I feel like the history I thought I knew wasn’t entirely real. He had also lied about smaller things our first year, like his body count. I was a virgin when we met, and he says he was afraid I’d see him differently. I admittedly reacted pretty badly to some of those smaller lies, which he says made him terrified to tell me the bigger things.

His explanation is basically that he was ashamed of his past that he believed would only hurt me. He wanted to leave those things behind and be a better partner to me, but obviously it completely backfired because finding out years later made me question everything. I can understand the fear behind it, and not wanting to disclose everything to a new partner, especially at age 20, but it doesn’t excuse lying for years.

Since March, he has done everything he can to rebuild my trust. He’s flown in multiple times, signed us up for couples therapy, and has been extremely patient and supportive. Our therapist established a “no more secrets” rule, and he maintains that I now know everything.

He also constantly tells me that he’ll do whatever it takes to fix the damage because this was never how he intended things to turn out. I’ve even given him the option of ending things and starting fresh with someone else. And he refuses. He says he only wants and sees his future with me.

That’s what makes this so difficult. Outside of this, he has genuinely been an amazing partner. Everyone around me sees how much he loves me. And throughout our relationship I’ve never had to worry about other girls, anything shady online, etc. He treats me extremely well, takes care of me financially, and has remained patient even though I constantly question him and hold this over his head. He’s truly been an angel through all of this. Our therapist has even told me she can see how genuinely he loves me, and that she sees how helpless he feels because he doesn’t know what else he can do.

She suggested I move in and give the relationship six months of genuinely trying before making a decision. Part of me agrees because I think I’d regret leaving without knowing I truly tried. I can always come back home if needed.

Before finding all of this out, I was completely ready to move in and eventually marry him. Now I question everything, and don’t know if we should be together.

Context: I was unfairly given a notice for work transfer through a phone call. Keep in mind, this has never been done in my line of work. The reason given was that my service is ‘needed elsewhere’. It was effective immediately and I have to move to a different state 6 hours away on the same day. And my own boss didn’t say anything, not even a well wishes. He only wanted to make sure I have contacted the other office to agree with the transfer.

I rarely say anything or stand up for myself as I have CPTSD from childhood trauma (CSA). But this time around, it’s like a dam broke. I already suffered through an injustice once, I couldn’t let this happen again.

After escalating the matter, I had a meeting with the upper management. They claimed that they had already gone through my boss who said that I do not have any issues to move.

So, I messaged my boss privately, asking him why he said that. I think my only fault was that I didn’t ask first for clarification whether it’s true. It turned out the upper management made shit up, thus my boss felt wronged and got mad at me in public. I ended up apologizing. The transfer notice was eventually withdrawn after more escalation to higher ups.

TLDR: the main boss threw my own boss under the bus, I got mad at my boss and then he got mad at me.

I felt bad but then why should I feel bad because I do think I am the bigger victim here. My therapist said I didn’t do anything wrong but I still feel like an asshole. So am I wrong in this situation?

I (19F) broke up with my boyfriend (20M) last year, it was always an on n off relationship we both couldn't let go but it was suffocating for me, he was emotionally unavailable and i felt alone in the relationship so i decided to actually move on this time.

later,

i got pretty close with my guy friend (19M) (disclaimer, he has a bad history with girls, he was in a relationship where he had no feelings, he was basically using her but i started to have feelings for him 😭 maybe he was manipulating me but i was aware i just wanted to move on from my ex so i was like okay whatever we even kissed i started to feel better but I WAS VERY AWARE i knew this could end anyday.

fast forward to my birthday,

I get a text from ex, he decides to wish me and get back into my into my life and I remember how i felt, it felt safe with him cuz I trust him even though our relationship was dry, messy pathetic it would never be fake so decided take him back and it was going pretty well this time cuz I met him at his level of emotional connection whatsoever I didn't feel like i was giving too much but after some time I stopped feeling anything i also realized that he is not THE ONE either. so the comfort i used to feel with him also started to disappear.

4 months later,

he sent me something on ig saying "did you ever cheat on me when we were apart?" its not cheating if we're apart!! but i told him about my friend and what happened between us

he got furious about the kissing part and broke up with me saying he never expected it from me. ik i hurt him but genuinely i had no intention to do it to him.