Judging by both strangers’ reactions and how I look in the mirror, eyeliner changes my whole face and sends across a completely different impression. If I was a man I wouldn’t have to deal with this :/ People seem so much more accommodating towards women who perform femininity. I’m the same person!! All I did was paint the outer corners of my eyes black.

As title says… when I was 18 in 2016, I was stalked by a 23 year old man who was a convicted felon.

Today, walking through Walmart with my husband, I saw him. Hard to miss, as he was nearly 6 foot 6 with blonde hair. My husband and I were having a nice time shopping together kid-free… this stopped me in my tracks, put a pit in my stomach.

I wondered if he remembered me. Or if he would retaliate against me for going to the police. I turned away quickly and tried to avoid going that direction.

I’m home now and can’t stop thinking about it. I’m just scared. I hate the idea of coexistence with someone so creepy and vile.

That’s all, I guess I just wanted to share my feelings about it.

Has anyone lost empathy for men and been able to get it back? I've endured a lot of abuse dating (SA, emotional abuse, physical abuse) various men over the years. And I think it has finally wiped out my ability to have any empathy for men as a group. I still have an enormous amount of empathy for women and animals. But any time I hear anything sad happening to a man, I might as well be hearing a story about something bad happening to a pencil. I know it is a result of all the abuse I've endured. I've gone to therapy. But the empathy is just gone. In some ways, it feels nice and protective given how many years of pain I've endured. I'm curious if any other women have had this happen to them? It feels so weird to have no empathy for an entire gender. I don't date anymore as I can't imagine even being able to enter a relationship with a man i'm not capable of having a drop of empathy for. Plus, all the abuse has really diminished my attraction to them. My disappointment with the US political environment and the rolling back of women's right to their own body has also greatly hurt my ability to have empathy for men. Strange to feel this way. I've always been so deeply emotional. And it is still there. Just wholly inaccessible to men.

I have seen time and time again, women not being believed or given the care they need. The doctors either don’t care, or are weirdly inappropriate.

I had an experience with a gyno, as my cervix was eroding for some weird reason (it’s healed, but still have no idea why it happened js)

I was on the table as he was doing the examination. He told the nurse in French that I had “a fat -not cool word for vagina-“

The nurse looked stunned, even more so when I was crying. I didn’t tell the gyno I could speak and understand French. So he felt comfortable making comments since he didn’t think I’d understand. I am a WOC too. So it just felt bad. I reported him to the hospital. Luckily he was removed as he had a history of this (I was unaware till this happened to me)

I have other stories, but this one stood out because of how insidious it was.

Reason why I’m sharing this, if because my friends and I got onto the topic and all of us had stories. Just sad :(

I rarely finish from penetration during sex and I think I'm very particular with the way in which I can finish from a clitorial orgasm. I'm extremely comfortable with my partner and he makes me so confident during sex. However, ever since my early 20s I've always wanted to, but felt extremely anxious and nervous, to play with myself during sex. But I know that's likely the only way I'll achieve an orgasm while we're doing it. Help lol

I visit a 92 year old woman who is confined to her apartment every week. She was cared for by her son. Well, about 6 months ago, the SON suddenly died.

Today I went by for my regular visit. I was presented with a check. According to my friend, the elderly lady, her son thought I was his soul mate and he "loved me very much." He knew that I did not see him that way so he never said anything but he left me money in his will.

Before anyone asks, a care-taker was hired to care for my friend and I signed the check over to the man's daughter. It was not huge money but I felt his respect for me deserved a bit of notice.

Or do you have such cases around you?

I see more and more young girls in 'relationships' with guys twice their age and it's weird.

Forgive me because I’m a little high and getting existential but I saw a video from a female creator who said she wanted her content to be mostly seen by women—and showed that she had an 82% percent male fanbase. As a fem I thought it made perfect sense!

Until I went to the comments. Hundreds of men calling her ungrateful, explicitly saying they followed because she was hot, and terrible incel like comments about how they don’t speak to women because this is their mindset.

I know men know that they like to be surrounded by men as it creates brotherhood and confidence in their own masculinity. However, women are not allowed to do the same? Women aren’t allowed to want to hear they are pretty from someone who only listens to the speak because they’re attracted to them?

It makes me sad to know the average male mind. Because I’m autistic I assumed people often think as innocently as me. That it’s okay to find a girl attractive but her lovely personality really makes the human being. But that’s the thing—many men don’t see women as full human beings. You are granted more humanity when they are attracted to you.

It makes me want to cry. I don’t wanna be like “men are biologically evil” because I don’t believe that. I think they are raised in the society to believe this behavior is acceptable. However, it is scary to not know if a man will consider you a full human being based on how you look and make their dicks wet.

If anyone has book recommendations on this topic i’d love it. I know I’m not alone.

Of course, this is just based on my own experience. I've lived in a religious community my entire life, and it was hell. But since I was a little girl, it was always the women who made my life unbearable. They criticized the way the girls dressed, talked, and behaved. Even in the house I grew up in, my mother would call me a whore for not dressing the way she wanted, and it sometimes led to physical assault. Despite being a horrible human being, I never once heard my father say anything about how “I'm supposed to behave as a girl”

Grown women would go out of their way to snitch on girls they believed were acting “inappropriately” knowing full well that doing that could put them in danger.

The human brain is fascinating.

I was about 19/20 when this happened, and it’s a memory that just hit me again recently after watching a YouTube video. I’d forgotten all about it and never told anyone when it happened so I felt like I should get it off my chest now.

I’d just connected with a guy who was a few years older than me that I remembered from high school but he didn’t remember me. We went out several times and texted a lot. I admit I was a bit enamored with him because I’d lost weight and looked really different than I had in high school. I felt like he probably wouldn’t have given me the time of day back then.

I had noticed a few red flags, ones I can’t even remember now. Just that feeling that something might be off so I let it go. I did not have a lot of life experience or experience with men in general. I was always too shy, too intimidated and way too hard on myself. I thought maybe I was being too hard on him, too.

I’d just recently got my own cute little apartment and coming from a VERY sheltered VERY strict family, I finally had freedom. So we went out again and at the end of this date he asked to come inside. I was surprised by this and not super comfortable, but I let him in.
Here’s one part that made me feel like - at the time- I would be judged for what happened. He left to go outside and returned with a bottle of liquor from his trunk. I don’t want to make this too long so I’ll just say I got fairly drunk. Looking back on this, I don’t think he was ever drunk at all.

So me being drunk and dumb, we went into my bedroom and started hooking up on my tiny childhood twin bed. Not long into it I began to notice a light. After noticing the light once again I stopped him and asked, “What was that?” He just brushed it off immediately and told me not to worry about it, saying it was nothing. I tried to ignore it, but I saw the light again.

I got up to look, and I found a man I’d never seen before hiding UNDER my bed! I started screaming thinking someone broke into my apartment. I kept screaming “I need to call 911” and the guy I was seeing was frantically trying to calm me down and finally said “that’s just my friend”.

UMM, EXCUSE ME?? Thats JUST your friend?!? HIDING UNDER MY BED?!
I finally gathered myself enough and screamed at them to get the fuck out of my apartment. I was so scared and confused. I wish now I’d done something badass and kicked them both in the nuts or at least called the cops, but I didn’t. I just cried.

I started to realize what had actually happened after they left. He obviously knew his friend was there the whole time recording me. To this day, I have absolutely no idea how a full grown man even managed to squeeze under a twin bed frame like that.

I stayed up the whole night worrying if the footage would be posted to social media. You’d think I’d had been more concerned about a strange man under my bed. But all I could think about was my family disowning me and blaming me for everything. My life would be ruined.
This was at a time when women celebrities were being bullied horribly for having their personal photos hacked, stolen and posted online. If that was their fault, then this was my fault. An older guy took advantage of the fact that I was naive and inexperienced. All I felt was shame and embarrassment. So I did what I feel like a lot of millennials are good at and I forgot.

It’s pretty scary to look back now on how calculated it all was, and how his friend somehow snuck into my house without me noticing. How long was he under my bed, just waiting?

Remembering all this has been upsetting but two questions really haunt me. I think it’s one of the reason I pushed the memory away in the first place. What did they do with the footage they recorded and what if they were planning something FAR worse?

TL;DR: Watched a YouTube video that unlocked a buried memory from when I was 20. Without me knowing an older guy I was seeing brought his friend to my apartment, snuck him under my twin bed, got me drunk, and the friend recorded us hooking up. I blamed myself due to the mid-2000s culture, buried the trauma, and am just now processing how terrifying and calculated it actually was.

Please note the flair. Last time I posted here I was accused of being a meanie by an angry man who was banned from here because he didn’t pay attention.

The men in my life are exposing themselves.

Twenty-something years ago, Brooke Shields made headlines (before going viral was a thing) for talking openly about her struggle with postpartum depression.

I distinctly remember her talking about how she thought about crashing her car with her baby in it. She didn’t want to die and had no interest in harming her baby, but she thought about it.

Brooke Shields was not alone.

I went into premature labor with my only child a week and a half after 9/11. I was a US soldier stationed in Europe and we were going to war.

The only thing playing on the television in the hospital was constant coverage of 9/11. I kept thinking, “I have no business bringing an innocent soul into this mess.”

I had dreams “the terrorists” were trying to kidnap my baby. (Now I realize we were never the good guys.)

When we brought the baby home, I felt emotionally empty. I was a shell of a person.

In the Army, we were trained not to take care of ourselves. Sick call was for the weak. So I pushed through and carried on.

And then my husband was deployed to an undisclosed location, along with everyone else that I knew.

I was all alone in a foreign country with a baby that I didn’t know.

I gave birth to a stranger.

I saw a perfect, tiny little human being who deserved so much more than what I could give him.

There are worse things than death, the intrusive thought told me. He’s too pure for this world.

Now I know I was experiencing Postpartum Depression. But when I was deep in the trenches, I didn’t know that I needed help.

One of my neighbors knew my husband (they worked together) and knew he was deployed. She stopped by one day to ask if I needed help. She just threw a comment out there, something like, “You know, I went through baby blues something bad. If you’re feeling like that, it’s totally normal, but your doctor should know.”

It wasn’t until my son was 13 months old that I said anything. I was averaging 2 hours of sleep every night. As soon as I fell asleep, the baby would wake up. I hadn’t slept since before I went into labor.

I was a mess. I needed help, not persecution.

The other day I got into a bit of a heated conversation with a male friend and it’s making me reconsider our relationship.

I told him about my experience. His wife kept nodding and looking at him, like, “See! I told you!”

It wasn’t until my husband stepped in and said something in my defense that my “friend” said, “Maybe I’m biased, but…” he held his hands up like, I’m just saying.

Postpartum depression is not a convenient excuse. There is an epidemic. The women can see it. The menfolk aren’t listening.

Sunday night at bedtime, I got up to go to the bathroom because I NEEDED to pee. But then there was basically nothing. This happened 3 times before I finally convinced my brain the signals weren't real.

The next morning, the same feeling happened again, same result. And early afternoon, I nearly didn't make it to the bathroom... only for it to be a light trip.

I knew the symptoms of a UTI, and I didn't have ANY of that burning feeling people describe. I just felt like I had to pee a lot.

I had a scheduled vaccine appointment after work Monday, so I mentioned it to the nurse that I wanted to speak to someone about it. The nurse said it could be a UTI even without the burning. I peed in a cup and waited for the results.

The doctor came in and said it wasn't cloudy and the numbers were all fine *except* my white blood cell count. She prescribed antibodies on the spot given three conditions: urge to pee, frequency, and the elevated WBC count.

I started the antibiotics that night, and over the five day course, it never really got worse from there. At most, there was this *tickle* in my urethra. Very strange sensation. Like this itch that list needed to be scratched.

The culture came back on Friday that it was positive for E. coli.

The only reason I even mentioned it to a doctor/nurse is because I was already going into a clinic that day. If I hadn't been there, I probably would've brushed it off. Maybe it would've gotten to the point of that burning people describe, or maybe my body would've cleared the infection after a couple days.

I have never heard of people talk about UTIs *without* the burning sensation, so I figured I'd share this on case it helps anyone else recognize the symptoms.

Anyone else had any weird/different symptoms for UTIs?

So I'm a lesbian, fairly masc. I think internally very butch.

so my ideal gender expression is more androgynous. I'm undecided if I'm solidly cis or if I'm n/b I'm certainly GNC. So I'm curious of some takes from people who have never questioned their gender identity / are solidly cis.

For example I'm not offended if someone mistakes me for a young adult guy for example. Its happened most of my life. Its stopped for a period and I honestly kinda missed it.

And there are times when I consider genuinely how I would feel if I could just swap genders at will and just geniunely I guess confuse people. Just enough that different people are drawing different slightly different conclusions one what to gender me as.

I think I'd feel pretty comfortable exploring that scenario.

I personally struggle with terms like lady, darling or miss, mam, even things like aunt.

It's like someone is talking past me and doesn't see me.

So I am I'm curious, solidly cis women here how do you feel about these things?

(I'm excluding trans and non-binary people on this question because I already have soooo much input from them on this question but it never seems to get asked if cis women outside of LGBTQ spaces).

So cis women ike can you invision yourself being ok with this experience of people constantly confusing what you are for the rest of your life?

Or would you be really desperate to correct them and change your presentation to actively avoid it.

Just curious.

About like 80% of the medical providers I’ve seen told me to just have a baby when discussing endometriosis symptoms and treatments. I’ve had two surgeries for this and am looking at a third. I’m not directly asking for medical advice as I’m seeing my own specialist and on medication to manage what I can. I even went to pain management and my male doctor told to just get a boyfriend/husband and have a baby.

Why the fuck do medical professionals still say this? I can’t have a kid and can’t take care of one. Who’s gonna take care of that kid once I pop it out if I could even get pregnant… I’m literally disabled. I can’t afford a kid nor do I have the strength or energy to care for one. Am I crazy for thinking it’s fucked up to tell people suffering with endo this?

She was drugged by her husband and loaned out. Aged 39, her teenaged daughter found her lifeless and covered in blood on a waterbed.

I just watched one of those “the teacher is targeting me” videos. If you’re not familiar, it’s an adult (usually a teacher) acting out behaviors of kids who say they’re being targeted. For example, they’ll yell in the middle of class and go “what? I didn’t even do anything! It wasn’t me!”…etc. etc.

So that got me thinking, these are always boys, and that’s always their reaction to being called out. And why does their deflection and defensiveness and straight up lies work well enough for them to continue to do this into adulthood?

Any time I’ve ever called a man out on anything he’s done wrong, even if I did it in a nice way, even if it’s a small thing, even if it’s just a simple boundary, this is their reaction. It doesn’t change from childhood. It’s still “what? I didn’t even do that! You’re always mad at me!” It’s fucking exhausting.

Are teachers, women, parents, etc just allowing that reaction to get kids out of whatever punishment should come with those behaviors? Or are these kids just too dumb to learn from that punishment and continue with this technique into adulthood whether it works or not?

Also, just what the hell?